


FE3H: Stay Alive

by MomoMoose



Series: FE3H: Stay- [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Awkward Romance, Betrayal, Blood and Gore, Dark Past, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Hand Jobs, How Do I Tag, Mild Blood, Minor Character Death, Multi, My First Fanfic, Mystery, Non-Explicit, One-Sided Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Pining, Secret Crush, Secrets, Self-Hatred, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Build, Spoilers, Survival Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:21:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 177,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MomoMoose/pseuds/MomoMoose
Summary: Claude's life had never been easy, even within the safe walls of the monastery. But still, he tried and made the best of it and that worked out well, until one night Lady Rhea explained what this year's graduation test enholds.With a group of random people, he is to survive outside the walls. There, he'll find things he never thought he would; friendship, trust, betrayal and even love.But will he and his group ever make it out alive?
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Edelgard von Hresvelg, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc/Claude von Riegan
Series: FE3H: Stay- [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717654
Comments: 232
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi dear reader :) 
> 
> Just before you start reading, please know that English isn't my first language and I might make some/a lot of grammatical or spelling mistakes.  
> I also don't have a beta reader so there we go.
> 
> I do hope you'll like it anyhow, please enjoy :)

Prologue

'All good things come to an end.'  
It's something people only realize when it happens. Maybe a pretty bird you've been watching, only for it to take off and never to be seen by you again.  
Or perhaps a good meal that's really gone when you finish the last bite.  
Maybe the thought 'all good things come to an end' isn't the first that pops up in your mind. It sounds so tragic after all.  
But it's the truth. Because nothing lasts forever.

I should have seen it coming. We all should have seen it coming.  
The so-called peaceful life here at the monastery, far away from the hurting and the dying. It couldn't last, wouldn't last. 

Because all good things do come to an end.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

Three loud knocks on my door almost literally scare the shit out of me. 

"Who's there?" I ask the person standing outside my bedroom door, clutching my sleeping dagger closer to my chest, willing my spooked heart to calm down.

"It's me, Seteth. Lady Rhea wants to speak with you." 

Strange, especially at this hour. But the voice is unmistakably Seteth's, so there's no reason not to believe him. 

"I'll be out in a minute." 

I rub the sleep from my eyes before putting my dagger back under my head pillow. No one needs to find that, or the other inhabitants will have even more reason not to trust me. Not like I trust them either.

Hurriedly, I put on the clothes I had worn today.  
The thin shirt smells like sweat and looks completely worn out. That, combined with my beautiful pair of pants filled with holes and dirt stains, together with my old shoes with barely a sole completes my daily outfit. 

Even for my doing, I look too horrendous to be seeing the head of the monastery, but I honestly couldn't care less.  
At least my hair is washed.

When I open the door to the dark corridor, Seteth's gone already. Wow, he must really trust me a lot to believe I'm really going to see Rhea. 

Might as well, since I'm up now anyway.

I know my way to Rhea's audience room well enough, given I spend at least two hours a week listening to Seteth's scolding there, so there's no need for me to bring any light.

I roam the many hallways in complete darkness. I bet anyone who doesn't wander around often would easily get lost in this maze.  
Luckily I'm curious enough to explore every single corner, wall and space I come across.  
Not so luckily however, Seteth doesn't appreciate curiosity.

Now that my head's cleared up a little, I start to wonder why I'm even being summoned.  
I can't remember actually getting away with any of my pranks lately, the guards found me out every time.  
My suspicions rise as I step closer to the room Rhea's expecting me in.

This is bullshit, I've done nothing wrong.

And that's exactly what I plan to tell her the moment I set foot in that chamber.  
After I knock politely, of course. 

It's only about a three minute walk from my bedroom to the audience chamber, but somehow I always manage to make it at least ten. Seteth's not gonna be pleased with me.  
But hey, what's new? 

My night promenade has finally come to an end when I see the familiar set of stairs leading to Rhea.  
A deep sigh is the only thing I can do that could prepare me for the lecture I'm about to get. 

Seeing Rhea and Seteth always causes an uneasy feeling in my gut. Even though I've really done nothing wrong this time.  
But at least I won't have to be in there alone with Seteth.

I slowly make my way up the dreaded stairs and head over to the even more dreaded door to knock on it. 

"Please, enter" Rhea's voice sounds. 

It sounds as calm and serene as ever and I'd be lying if I said it calms my nerves.

I brace myself when I open the large door, only to be met with Seteth's green, stern gaze right away.  
He's wearing his nightgown, meaning that this has to be some kind of emergency meeting. It looks ridiculous but I'm not about to laugh in his face when Rhea's standing right next to him.

"You're slow, Claude."

He says while lifting his chin in the air, immediately trying to intimidate me by showing how much he is above me in this retarded hierarchy.  
To me, he's just Rhea's little puppy, complete with a golden tiara on his head as his leash.

"Sorry" I mumble while closing the door.

Even though I must have said that to him at least a hundred times, it's still the only useful thing my brain comes up with.

His gaze intensifies and I get a feeling that just an apology isn't going to cut it.  
I'm not about to tell him that I was stalling though, he doesn't need to know I'm a coward.

"I tried to hurry, really." I lie like it's my second nature. "But one of the stray cats got in front of my feet as I walked and I tripped over it. And then I had to make up to it of course, you know how that goes. Petting it, catching some fish, worship it and all. Takes forever." 

I end my made up story with a wink and a smile to Seteth, just to get even more under his skin. His face is getting red, presumably from anger. However, right before he can say anything, Rhea speaks up.

"That's quite alright Claude, I'm sorry that I asked you to come to see me at this hour." 

Rhea smiles at me as she says it. It's actually quite comedic, the way Seteth is looking at her with that popping vein in his forehead and his mouth agape. 

His deep green hair is also a little messy. First time I've ever seen that. His thin-lined beard is unshaven and he looks a bit tired also, I wonder what's got them both up so late.

However she, as always, looks like the embodiment of peace. Mind the 'looks like' because that's just her mask. I doubt there's many people besides me who've seen the real face underneath that calm mask of hers.

Her long seafoam colored hair still looks perfect, despite being in her nightgown as well.  
Her eyes meet mine and I can't bear to keep her gaze. I can't help but feel she can see my soul when she does that.

I'm sure Seteth was going to call me out on my lie, maybe even punish me for lying in front of Lady Rhea, but it looks like I'm getting away with this one. Lucky me.

An annoyed sigh coming from next to me makes me realize that I'm not Rhea's only guest tonight. 

When I look to my right, I see a pretty, petite girl whose name I know is Edelgard. I've never really talked to her myself, but I've heard quite a lot about her, more bad than good.  
I'm not one to judge someone from other people's words though, so I'm not gonna bother with that.

"Ah, good evening to you as well, princess." 

All I get for a response is an eyeroll and a huff, so I'm not going to waste my breath on her anymore. She's no fun at all.

"Could you two maybe give Lady Rhea a chance to speak? She summoned us here for a reason after all." A male voice to my left calls out.

I turn my head to look and ah, good old Dimitri is here as well. Standing proud and tall as always, looking perfect even in his nightwear.  
I know him just a little bit because we crossed paths at the library a few times before, but our verbal exchanges were too brief for me to have a good opinion on him. 

"Of course, your highness. My sincerest apologies." I tell him with a slight bow at my waist.

For no apparent reason, I decide to mock him with the title people around the monastery have given him.

Edelgard is the 'princess', while Dimitri is the 'prince'. A match made in heaven, one would say.

Dimitri sputters something inaudible and his cheeks turn a little red before he decides to go quiet, hopefully because I called him out like this.

I know people refer to me as a rat, so good for him to feel bad about it.

Lady Rhea clears her throat and all the attention is back on her.

"Thank you, Dimitri. I would first of all like to thank the three of you to be able to make it here at this late hour. I will keep it short, so you can go back to bed as soon as possible."

Seteth is standing quietly at her side, which is not that weird, but he stopped glaring at me for some reason. I already don't trust a single thing about this meeting.

"As you well know, your generation is close to turning eighteen. Here at the monastery, youngsters who turn eighteen are officially considered adults, and therefore will be helping out with certain tasks that they haven't been burdened with before. It's almost like a sort of graduation."

When I look at Dimitri and Edelgard, they both nod in understanding.  
What are they understanding though? I'm confused already. What kinds of certain tasks? Graduation from what?

I'm about to open my mouth and ask, before Seteth shushes me. He must've seen my inner turmoil.

Rhea continues without interruption.

"Of course, before every graduation, there must be a final test, to see if you have the capabilities of becoming an adult here and function properly within the walls. And that is what this meeting is about."

"Okay, let me get this straight. We're all standing here in our pajammies, at almost three in the morning, to discuss our graduation party?" 

I literally can't believe this is what I almost had a heart attack for.

"Shush your mouth this instance, Claude! I will not tolerate you speaking to Lady Rhea with your vulgar language." Mr. Vein pops back out and Seteth looks like he's about ready to kill me. I'm sure he is.

Rhea, however, seems unfazed by my reaction.

"Not your graduation party, Claude. The final test, which I'd like to explain if you'll allow me." 

"Forgive my interruption, but you don't need Claude's permission, Lady Rhea. His opinion is worth about as much a rat's anyways."

Edelgard finally opens her mouth, and that's what comes out. I can see now why some people would call her a flat out bitch.  
Can't say I agree yet, since those same people say the exact same thing about me as she just did.

I decide to just laugh it off, can't hurt a happy person after all. 

"Excuse me, please go on." I tell Rhea with a forced smile. 

"Of course, as I was saying, a final test. Outside the safety of the monastery, death lurks everywhere.  
In order to graduate, you must survive outside of the walls for three days and three nights. The walls will be closed during that time. When the before mentioned time has passed, we will open up the walls for you and then we will have your graduation party."

She finishes with a relaxed facial expression, like she hasn't just dropped this bomb on us. 

We're supposed to survive outside for three days? Three whole days outside? This is madness.

"This is madness."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> As you may have noticed, we're in a slightly familiar setting, yet the au makes everything a bit different, therefore I'll be changing my characters a little. I hope none of them are too ooc, they're a little difficult for me to write.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already so happy that people are actually reading and commenting and kudoing like you have no idea. It's a great motivator, so here's another chapter :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy

I look at Rhea to see if she's actually serious, but she looks the same as always. Then Seteth, but he's just frowning at me because I just called their idea mad. 

I look over to Edelgard, but even she shows no obvious reaction or emotion.

I look at Rhea again. Not sure if I imagined it, but right as I looked, it seemed like she was trying to hide a smile.

"You're obviously not the only ones nearing the age of eighteen, so we'll be dividing the rest of the participants among three groups. Each of those groups will be lead by one of you. We'll get back to you tomorrow with more details. You're dismissed for now, please head back to your sleeping chambers. Good night." 

Seteth is quick to dismiss us, almost immediately turning to Lady Rhea to discuss something with her, paying us no more attention.  
With nothing left to do here, I turn around and head out of the large space to make my way back to my bedroom. 

So basically, the three of us will be responsible for our own group of, well, students from our grade. I don't like that at all. I'm sure I'll be able to survive on my own a lot easier than with a group.   
Worst thing is, I don't trust anyone. And in that aspect, no one trusts me either. This is going to be a lot trickier than to 'just survive for three days'.

The door opens easily and I walk out, but I notice only one pair of footsteps following me. When I turn around to look, I see just Edelgard walking out.   
Dimitri speaks up to either Rhea or Seteth, but his soft voice is barely audible. It's hard to make out what he's saying.

Then suddenly Edelgard closes the door right in front of my face.

"Hey! I was watching that." 

"Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop on someone else's conversation?"

"Well, yes. But that's really not the point here. Are you actually okay with their idea? Sending us all out there to die?" 

I know she'll probably be rude again, or even ignore me, but I need to know if I'm the one overreacting here.

"It's only three days, don't tell me you can't even survive that long. Have you just been wasting your time here?" She sounds way too confident given the circumstances.

"I can't say I've been wasting it, but I've spent it on other things than learning how to survive outside of the walls. You know, since we're actually safe in here. It just doesn't make sense that that's our final test before graduation."

She actually smirks at me. "Yes, I'm sure you've spent your time wise. Like learning how to pick locks and snoop around other people's possessions. So, I doubt anyone would regret sending you out there anyway." 

She flips a lock of long, white hair over her shoulder before walking off, leaving me standing alone outside the audience chamber.

"I'm very much aware that I'm not anyone's favorite person in this place. No need to point it out like that."

She doesn't hear me, obviously, but I still want to make that clear. 

"And I can't even pick locks!" She must have heard that though.

Three days… it doesn't sound like a long time, but I know better than to underestimate anything. Especially since I'll have to spend that time with a group of random people.

The door behind me opens and I can hear Dimitri saying his farewells to Rhea and Seteth.  
Great timing, I really want to know what he was secretly discussing with them.

Right as I'm about to walk up to him to ask, he takes a few steps forward. Apparently, he isn't expecting anyone could still be standing here, and he's still looking behind him, so his body crashes right into me. Hard even.

The impact causes me to stumble back a small distance. Ouchies, his chest is firm.

"Oh, Claude! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were still here. Are you hurt?"

His cheeks start turning a slight pink and I find it greatly amusing. So, I decide to just look away and stay quiet to see what he'll do.

"Claude? Please, tell me if you're hurt. I'll take you to the infirmary right away. I'm sure there's still someone there who can help you."

He softly takes hold of both of my upper arms, trying to get me to look him in his eyes. They're a pretty baby blue color, I see now. And his face actually looks worried for me. Now that's a sight I haven't seen in a while.

But still, this setting is making me more uncomfortable than I'd like to admit, so I quickly let out a laugh to let him know I'm fine.

"Please don't do that, you scared me." He releases the grip on my arms.

Now as much fun as it was to watch Dimitri panic, I do have serious business to tend to.

"So, your princeliness" I start, "everything alright with you?"

He looks confused for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yes, I'm fine. You're the one who took most of the blow, after all." 

"No, no that's not what I meant. I was talking about what you were discussing with Rhea and Seteth. Everything okay?"

"It's Lady Rhea, Claude. She deserves respect. And well, I'm just not confident in being a leader. So I asked if she could maybe have someone else take my place. That's all."

He's not telling me something, I'm sure. His hands are fidgeting with his nightshirt and he refuses to make eye contact with me.  
He's a terrible liar.

"Shall we go back to bed? It's late after all and we have to get up early." He doesn't wait for my answer before he leaves.

Definitely hiding something.

"Wait, hold up!" I have to hurry to catch up to him. Damn his long legs.

He does wait for me though, a kind gesture which I honestly find unexpected but not unwelcome. 

Together we walk down the dark halls in silence, but it's not uncomfortable at all. How strange, I'm actually a little glad I waited for him. 

After a bit of time passes, for some reason he's still walking besides me, but still not saying anything.   
I don't know where his sleeping quarters are, so I'm just heading towards mine. 

"Well, good night." I tell him when we reached my destined hallway. I'm not about to show him where my room is.

He startles. "Oh! Right, good night to you as well."

Now I'm waiting for him to leave, but he's just standing there awkwardly.   
Is he waiting for me to head inside my room?

"Dimitri?" 

"Ah, sorry! I just… sorry. I'll leave. Good night."

He walks off so fast that I doubt I could keep up with him if I ran. Odd boy, that one.

As soon as Dimitri is completely out of sight, I open the door to my bedroom.   
I'm not at all that bothered about the fact that I was woken up for that meeting. If anything, Seteth gave me a free pass to sleep in.

But that whole meeting was just messed up from beginning to end.  
Because first of all, why at this time? Rhea and Seteth were both dressed in their nightgowns, so they weren't prepared for any meeting.  
Second, what the actual fuck? They're sending us outside the walls? As a stupid final test? Ridiculous.  
And third, what is Dimitri hiding from me? I'm sure he was about to tell me just now, but he changed his mind for some reason.

I don't think I'll be getting any answers right now, so it's probably best if I just wait and see what happens the next few days. Seteth did say he'd explain further tomorrow anyway.

My shoes and pants are kicked off across the room before I take my shirt off as well. Ugh, still smelly. I scratch my stomach and let out a yawn before I crawl back under my blankets. 

Before I'm completely comfortable and ready to sleep, however, I take my sleeping dagger back from where I put it under my pillow. No one's sneaking into my room this night either.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, thanks for reading!
> 
> So in this chapter, we'll finally be meeting our golden deer, hope I didn't mess up too much
> 
> Enjoy :)

For the longest time since I can remember, I've had to make do with about five hours of sleep every night. But today, I feel like I've slept at least double that amount. It feels amazing.  
A warm morning light creeps in through the curtains, lighting up my small room. Maybe today will be a good day.

I don't have a lot of things to call my own, but it's enough. There's a bed with a pillow and blankets, a closet that's just big enough to fit in my bare amount of clothes, and a small desk to study at and do homework on. 

It's not much, but it works. Only our so-called honor students here have bigger rooms and more possessions, including fancier clothes. The first kinds of honor students are the children of the higher ranked people we call nobles. The ones with authority, if you will. 

The other kinds are students with exceptional grades and good behavior. They have a pretty fair chance at becoming one of the monastery nobles.

I'm neither of those, so I'll have to settle with whatever I'll get. 

I stretch my arms and legs before getting out of bed. There's no real reason to hurry, or else Seteth would have woken me up already. After debating whether I should put on clean clothes or my working clothes, I choose the former.  
Right as I'm busy putting on my pants, I notice a small note lying in front of my door. The content is readable from where I'm standing.

Head to classroom no.6

NOW!!

"Okay, I'm going, no need to yell like that." 

I hurriedly put on my shirt and shoes. Guess I'll skip washing for now.  
Before I head out, however, I make sure to hide my dagger underneath my pillow. 

There, all set and ready to tackle another shitty day.

.

Three knocks on the door to classroom number 6 announce my entry. 

"Excuse me. Sorry for being late, seems I overslept."

I walk into the classroom where several students are scattered across the room, almost all sitting separately. 

"No need for apologies, I heard from Seteth that you were summoned for an extremely early meeting this morning. He already expected you would turn up late." 

Mister Hanneman, one of the teachers and more specifically, one of the teachers I actually like, answers me. 

He's already pretty old, definitely nearing his sixties if his gray hair and moustache are anything to go by. But he's a reasonable and understanding man, and that's what I like about the man.

"I'll repeat to you what all the other students have heard a few hours prior, so listen well. The students currently in this classroom are the ones that will accompany you outside. They will fall under your lead, so be responsible."

He takes his monocle carefully into his hand and cleans it with a handkerchief before putting it back. He looks straight at me.

"It's unfortunate that you're late, or else you would have been given the opportunity to assemble your group yourself. All the other students were picked by Edelgard and Dimitri, so these young ones are the only ones left for you."

I look around the classroom, looking at each individual that wasn't picked by either one of the other two. 

I'm sure Edelgard went for those with a lot of talent, mostly honor students with high grades.  
Dimitri probably went for his friends, people he knows he can trust and build on.

I don't like to admit it, but I can see why these people weren't picked.

There's Hilda, a pretty girl with long pink hair. She's terribly lazy, and doesn't seem like she'd be of much help outside.

Then there's Ignatz, a kind-looking young man with glasses. He's too insecure to make any decision for himself, and probably gets scared real easy.

Seated next to him is a big buffed man named Raphael. I know he's extremely friendly, but he looks intimidating enough. I'm worried for our rations though, they probably won't even last for four hours with him on board.

In the back, I spot Marianne. I don't know much about her at all, but I think she's probably depressed enough to throw herself in front of the first enemy we find.

A few seats next to her is a ginger girl named Leonie. She's fierce and as competitive as they come, which makes her a little difficult to get along with.

In front of her is Lysithea, at least I think it is. Her name is rather difficult.  
With only fifteen years old, she's the youngest and smallest of all the students from our grade. 

And then next to Lysithea, there's Lorenz. He's a little bit too pleased with his status as an honor student and tends to force his ways of doing on other people.

"Their loss." I simply say. 

Edelgard and Dimitri really don't know what they're missing out on here. What they see is just the surface, but I know there's much more in them than that.

Hilda, whose laziness is just going to make for clever ideas to make otherwise difficult or hard work lighter.

Ignatz, whose carefulness is sure to protect us from developing any reckless ideas.

Raphael, whose muscles and courage make up for his lack of brains. Can't scare a guy who can't understand any dangers after all.

Marianne, who will undoubtedly follow my orders because she couldn't care less.

Leonie, whose need to prove her worth will make wonders happen.

Lysithea, who's so eager to learn and master everything, it can't be anything other than useful.

And Lorenz… hm. I have no doubts that there will be a lot of friction between the two of us, but we'll just have to make it work. I'll find a way to make use of him though.

"Well in that case, there should be no problem in getting this show on the road. From now, you will have exactly one week to make each and any preparation you need to make before you're being sent outside."

Professor Hanneman looks around the classroom, making sure everyone is paying attention to him.

"Keep in mind that you will need to bring your own supplies. This includes food, water, medicine, tents, sleeping bags, and any weapon that you want to use. If you feel that you need anything else, please take it with you. It's your lives we're talking about here.  
If you have any questions, now would be the best time to ask. You are to spend your preparation time efficiently after all." 

"Of course. I actually have a question though. Am I really allowed to plan my own time, the way I want? No restrictions?" 

"Well, yes. That is exactly the case. You are allowed to make use of every facility you like. Keep in mind though, that you'd best not slack or procrastinate on your obligations." 

I nod in understanding. Hanneman is still rambling on about the importance of planning ahead, but my mind is already considering all the opportunities to visit the library.

"Can I ask one more thing?" I know I'm interrupting his speech but he's not telling me anything I wasn't aware of yet.

"Uh, yes. Go ahead." 

"Would you mind writing me a note that says I'm allowed to use every facility with your permission? Just to be sure." 

He looks at me for a minute in complete silence, before grabbing a small notebook out of his bag. He scribbles something on it before putting his quill down.

"I almost forgot, but I need you to make up a name for your group. It's supposed to be a color, followed by an animal. Please consider carefully."

"What did Dimitri and Edelgard choose?"

"Edelgard has chosen to be named the Black Eagles. Black because it's her preferred color and eagles because both her name and the animal start with an 'e'."

Ah, completely revolved around her then. Can't say I'm surprised.

"And Dimitri?" 

"Dimitri's group has decided on the Blue Lions. They described themselves as fierce fighters with great strength, hence the lions. And blue because Dimitri's eyes are blue."

That's actually a good name and reason. Well then, now for me.

"Hey Hilda, what's your favorite color?" 

Hilda, who obviously didn't expect to be called out to, nearly fell off the chair she was slumping on. 

"That would be pink, mister Leader man." She answers with a smile.

"We will not, and I really mean it, be called anything pink." Lorenz immediately answers.

"He asked me, not you. I think you're just angry that I didn't choose purple like your hair." Hilda shoots back.

"That's not at all what I-"

"Alright, alright. Lorenz then, give me a color." I can't believe they started arguing already.

"I think golden suits someone like me perfectly." He says while running a hand dramatically through his hair.

"We don't consist of only you, mister. We need a color that suits all of us." Leonie decides to add into the discussion.

"My name is Lorenz, not 'mister'. And I want golden. Claude, I want golden." He looks at me now and I honestly don't want to work against him. 

"Alright, we good with golden?" 

Everyone else nods and gives their agreement, except Hilda and Leonie, but I can work with that.

"And what animal?" I ask everyone. Maybe someone has a good idea, like dragons or something cool like that.  
I could suggest it, but I really don't want to be anything like Edelgard in this matter, so I'll let them decide.

If they could actually make a damn decision already. I've heard golden unicorns, golden pigs, golden goldfish, even golden slugs? What the fuck?  
These ideas are terrible. Guess I'm taking matters into my own hands after all.

"Marianne! What's your favorite animal?"  
I haven't heard a word from her since I got here, so she'll get to decide the other half of our name.

The rest of my still only goldies don't seem to have a problem with letting her decide, so they all stop their bickering.

"Oh! Uhm…" 

I wait a few seconds for her to continue, but she literally stays quiet after that. 

"I'm sure you have one. Go on, tell us." A little encouragement might help.

"I uhm... well, I really… I like Dorte." She eventually says, really quietly.

I honestly really didn't hear her properly, so I let my brain fill in the gap.  
Hopefully I'm not too far off.

"Deer? Alright, we'll be the Golden Deer."

Well, that was chaotic. Who knew deciding on a name could be such a mess?

I turn to Hanneman and he writes it down on the note. 

"That's literally not what she said, but I like the Golden Deer. It's cute." Hilda twirls a strand of hair around her finger.

"I guess I'm in no position to complain." Lorenz sighs as he says it.

"Yeah! I bet the other groups will be really impressed with us! They better watch out or we'll steal their snacks!" Raphael shouts. 

I don't really understand what he's talking about, but his enthusiasm appears to be contagious, because everyone else suddenly starts talking amongst each other excitedly.

I can't help but smile at this chaotic bunch. They all seem like good people, though undoubtedly, we're going to need to work on teamwork for the most part.

And what better idea is there than to bond with people over a good meal? 

"Alright everyone, listen up! I think we should head to the dining hall, get our lunch and spend some time getting to know each other. What do y'all think?" 

Of course, Raphael is the first to answer.

"That's a great idea! Let's hurry before they're out of meat!" 

"Should we really be eating when we have so much preparing to do?" Lysithea eyes me suspiciously.

"Don't worry, little one." I say, because she is a little one. "Most of us are probably strangers to each other. Don't you think that getting to know each other could stimulate teamwork, which will ultimately increase our progress and results?" 

"Call me 'little one' one more time and I swear, you'll regret it.  
But I guess you do have a point. The Black Eagles and Blue Lions already went to the training grounds anyways. We wouldn't have much time to practice anything with so many people there." 

"Are you guys coming? Raphael is going to leave you behind." Ignatz calls out to us, smiling.

"Looks like they're leaving without us, we'd better hurry before Raph eats everything."

I take the note Hanneman left for me before I grab Lysithea's arm and together we head out towards the dining hall, after the rest of my Golden Deer.

Not gonna lie, I'm happy with my group. They're definitely rowdy and chaotic, but I see potential in every single one of them.

Maybe I'm actually looking forward to the upcoming week. Just maybe.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter, hope you like it :)
> 
> Also, omg 150 hits and a bunch of kudos already? Y'all make me so happy!

Three hours and a dozen of staff complaints later, my rowdy bunch is on its way towards the main library. I hope they'll be able to keep it down a little in there, because damn it, they're loud. 

"I really hope you know what you're doing, Claude. The other two groups are testing their limits at the training ground and you want to go to the library to read. Unbelievable." 

Lorenz comes to walk next to me, making sure I hear him.

"If you're having trouble leading us, know that I'll have no trouble taking over your position. I am certain that nothing terrible will happen to us as long as I'm in charge." 

He sounds so confident, I wonder if he actually knows what he's talking about.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't doubt that you'd be a great leader, but not out there. I'll let you know if I need assistance, though." I wink at him.

His face shifts from a confident smirk to an insulted scowl within half a second. It looks funny and I can barely keep a straight face.

"Assistance?! Let me tell you something right now, Claude, and you'd better remember this. I, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, will absolutely not offer any 'assistance' to the likes of you. You can either assist me, or expect me to criticize you for every single bad choice you make. And I can already tell that you-" 

"And we're here." I announce before opening the door to the library. 

Arguing with Lorenz is so tiresome, I'm not even going to bother with a reply.  
It shut him up at least, but he obviously doesn't appreciate that I ignored and interrupted him. This is definitely coming back to bite me in the ass at some point. 

The rest of the Deer walk in without a word and all settle around the same table. I'm glad they're getting along well enough to do that.

"Come on Lorenz, let's go sit as well." I say and he scoffs first, before we both sit on opposite ends of the table.

"So, what do we know about outside exactly?" One might consider it dirty that I'm testing them like this, but I need to know if we're all on the same page here.

Surprisingly, Ignatz is the first who speaks up.

"It's dangerous outside, right? I mean, that's what everyone always tells us. I'm actually not sure what's going on exactly." 

He laughs nervously when he's done talking, showing that he's insecure still. I'm proud he spoke up though, only shows that he does feel comfortable with us.

"That's true, it is dangerous outside. Anyone else got an idea?" 

They're all rather quiet and looking a little nervous even, which worries me greatly. This means that they really have no idea what we're getting ourselves into. 

Good job, Rhea, at least you keep the truth hidden well. 

"Actually… uhm…" Marianne starts.

I know from before that she needs some kind of encouragement or permission to continue, so I smile and nod at her.

"I thought that… Sorry if I'm wrong, but I thought that there were people outside. Like… people that attack other people. Or something like that… Actually never mind." 

She goes quiet again, but I'm glad she spoke up. Maybe now the others will get a better idea of the situation.

"Oh! But if there are people outside, maybe we can just talk to them and ask them to stop?" Hilda notices.

"Well, no. That's not really-" I try, but Raphaels loud voice booms over mine.

"But in that case, we won't have to fight at all! It would make everything so much easier!" 

"Are you guys actually serious?!"  
God bless Lysithea.

"Why do you think that they would listen to us, when countless people have gone out there already?" Leonie adds.

"That would be because we're pretty!" Hilda beams.

Well okay, she's not wrong, but she's also very wrong.

The rest all starts sharing ideas and solutions that make no sense to me at all, so I'm going to step in.

"Guys, listen for a second. Guys, please. Hello? I'd like to say something." 

Damn they're so loud. They don't pay attention to me at all.

"GUYS!" I raise my voice to get their attention and I finally succeed. 

All of their heads are turned to me now, including Tomas', the librarian. He makes a gesture to me that tells me to be quiet, and I politely apologize before turning back towards my Deer.

"Okay so, I'll tell you what I know about outside. First of all, you were right about them being people, Marianne. But it's a bit more complicated than that.  
Those 'people' seem to have lost their minds, focusing only on murdering any human that gets in their sight, or even hearing range. They don't care about any wounds that are inflicted upon themselves, and they'll only fall when they can't use their legs or head anymore." 

I pause to let them contemplate it for a bit. After no one speaks or asks anything, I continue.

"Strange thing is, the people they kill turn into one of them. It takes only a few minutes, but right after they turn, they start killing as well. I've heard a few theories about what could possibly cause them to behave like this, but the most apparent one is that it's a virus. An infection of some sort." 

My memory leaves holes about everywhere, but I know at least this much for certain. I just hope they won't ask questions about where I got my information.

"Wait, so people that are killed, turn… infected? They become one of them?" Leonie asks uncertain.

"I never imagined it could be anything like that. I understand why the monastery was built to protect people from them." Ignatz murmurs.

"Amazing fantasy you have, Claude. Really, I'm impressed. Why don't you add some gruesome details to scare everyone a little bit more, hm?" 

I could have predicted that Lorenz would be difficult about this. 

"It's not fantasy, Lorenz. You can choose whether you believe me or not, that'll be up to all of you. All I ask is that you do take this seriously. Our lives will be in danger, no matter what exactly we're up against." 

"If it's not fantasy, then how do you know all this? I have not heard so many details from anyone else but you, except for silly made-up tales of the dangers that lurk outside."  
Lorenz looks utterly too pleased with being able to call out on me.

Well, crap. They're all looking at me expectantly and there's no way Lorenz is going to let this go.  
Good thing I'm a convincing liar like nobody else.

"I don't remember when or what it was, but I once read it in a random book that was lying around in Rhea's private library. I snuck in when no one was around, but I only got to read that far until I was caught."

That should do it. My reputation as a rat allows me to be perfectly believable.  
I honestly don't trust these people enough yet to tell them about my past. Not like it's so important anyway.

Ignatz looks at me with a sparkle in his eyes. That can't be good.

"You actually got into Rhea's library? Do you think we'll get access to it using the note professor Hanneman wrote for you? Imagine all the info we'll be able to get!" 

"It's Lady Rhea, both of you. Ignatz, please don't stoop to Claude's level. It doesn't look good on you." 

I get the feeling Lorenz is just trying to get on my nerves now. 

"Who cares about books? In a week, we'll be able to find out for ourselves anyway! I'll train so hard, nothing will get through my muscles!" 

Raphael would be terrifying if he turned.

"I wonder how it's possible that a virus could cause some malfunction in the human brain like that." Lysithea ponders aloud.

"I'm scared, I don't want to turn into a man-killing person." 

"Don't worry Hilda, I'll protect you!" Leonie exclaims.

"I'll make sure that nothing happens to anyone in Claude's place. You can all put your faith in me." 

"I'd much rather listen to Claude, Lorenz. At least he seems to know what he's talking about. No offense." Lysithea says to him.

Lorenz looks at Lysithea as if she just took a shit in his cupcake and Leonie, Raphael and Hilda all laugh at him.

And, we're back to the excited and loud group we were when we came in.  
I'm glad they don't seem too scared or bothered with the information I just gave them, but there's still the worry that they might not take this too seriously.

All I can do now is prepare them for the worst. 

"It's already pretty late now, I'm sure dinner will be served in the dining hall soon. You guys want to eat together?" The last part, I add softly. 

Normally I eat alone because I don't have anyone to share a table with. But after having lunch with these people, I realize that food does taste better with good company.

"I'd like that. You guys are great." Leonie seems to be the only one who heard because the others are looking at her funny.

"What, you don't wanna come? I enjoyed having lunch together, so why not have dinner with each other too?" She says while getting up.

"Count me in! The food isn't going to eat itself." Raphael booms.

"Oh sorry, I hadn't heard properly. But I'd like to come too. Marianne, you joining us?" Hilda looks at her sweetly.

"I… If you'll have me, I would like that." 

"We're coming too!" 

"Hey, wait for me!" 

I catch myself smiling at them broadly as they hurry out of the library.  
I have a lot of preparing to do for each of them tonight, but I'm almost sure I'll enjoy every minute of it. 

I will make sure we're going to be fine those three days. I'll never forgive myself if I let anything bad happen to any of them.

Right before I'm about to leave for the dining hall as well, Tomas calls to me.

"Young man, do you have a moment?"

Well, shit.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, no, I don't have anything better to do than write and update
> 
> So here's another chapter! Hope you enjoy :)

"No need to look so scared, I just have a question for you." 

Well, you're the one who snuck up on me, what'd you think would happen? I think, but don't say. He's still an elder after all. And elders are to be treated with respect.

"Sorry, it's just that you surprised me. Did you need anything?" 

"Hahaha, well what do you know? You surprised me too. I couldn't help but overhear you talking to the other youngsters just now and I need to ask; what book did you read exactly?"

Shit, of course he'd ask that.

"Well, like I told the others, I don't remember what book it was or when I read it exactly. It's possibly already out of the collection anyway."

This conversation is making me uncomfortable in record time. He's been staring straight into my eyes this whole time and it's very unnerving to say the least.

"I can tell you for certain, I check every single book that comes into our libraries and there was never such a book. You're a liar. And we don't tolerate liars." He smiles when he says it.

He takes a step closer to me, I take two steps back.

His voice suddenly sounds a lot lower than before.

"I know you, Claude. You aren't from here. You're a pesky little troublemaker that doesn't belong here. You're a freeloader, a parasite. You're the reason this whole 'final test' is happening. No one wants you here. Begone." 

He takes another big step forward and with that, he enters my personal space. I can't get any further away from him, lest I can walk through tables out of nowhere.

I'm suddenly finding it hard to breathe. He shouldn't know this much about me, only Rhea and Seteth know where I'm originally from.

His words aren't strange to my ears, but they still sting. I'm trying not to show how badly it affects me.

Every single one of my instincts are screaming at me to get away from him as quickly as possible.

"W-well it was a lovely conversation, but dinner's waiting for me. See ya!" 

I practically stumble out of the library. My breathing is harsh and my hands tremble like crazy. My stomach feels like it's going to empty itself any second.

The way from the library to the dining hall passes in a blur. Partly because I'm struggling to focus on anything, the other part is quite literally tears blurring my vision.

Why am I reacting so strongly? It's really not the first time anyone's told me I'm a stranger. But that guy, something about him is just terribly wrong.

I stop and hide myself just out of vision of the door to the dining hall. No one needs to see me in this state. 

Deep breaths, in and out. 

My heartbeat slowly evens out to a regular pace and I blink away the tears. I refuse to let them fall over some stupid threat.

I'm not entirely sure just how long I'm standing here shaking, but god knows I needed it. 

Voices of other students and workers can be heard from where I'm standing, they've probably finished eating and are now going to finish their tasks or retreat to their sleeping chambers.

It's really that late already. I'm sure I missed dinner and now I'll have to go to bed hungry. Just what I needed.

I step away from my hiding spot before I hear an obnoxiously high-pitched voice calling out to me.

It's Hilda, waving at me to come over.

"Wow mister Leader man, sure took you some time to get here. We're all finished eating already." 

"Ah, my bad. Can you make sure to tell the others to turn in early tonight, we got a lot to do tomorrow. I'm going to see if there's still some scraps of food left."

"Hey now, hold up. Everyone's still at the table waiting for you. Come on."

I have zero time to respond before she's dragging me inside by my sleeve.

Truthful to her words, everyone else is actually still sitting at one of the dining tables.

"Finally! What took you so long?" Leonie is the first to notice Hilda walking in with me.

The others look up at me with worried faces.

"I got held up by someone, nothing for any of you to worry about." 

I shrug to make it look more convincing, but Lysithea raises one of her eyebrows in suspicion.

"Well, sit down and eat already, it's probably cold by now." Leonie points to a seat at the table, right next to where Marianne is sitting.

"You guys… you actually got me a plate of food?" 

"Of course we did." Hilda pats the seat to get me to sit down already.

"Leonie told us you're the one who asked if we could eat together, so we wanted to make sure you could!" Raphael says with the biggest smile I've seen from him.

"Don't make us wait for you this long again though, you'd best show some appreciation." It's hard to believe even Lorenz waited for me, yet here he is.

So this is what it's like to have friends.  
A lump is forming in my throat and my chest feels warm and fuzzy. 

"Wow, I kinda don't know what to say. No one's ever done anything nice for me like this so, seriously thank you guys." 

"Save the crying for later, some of us actually have business to attend to. So hurry up."

Lorenz says like he means it, but there's a small smile on his face.

I smile back at him. "Yeah, thanks." 

He suddenly looks away for some reason, but I'm hungry so I'm not going to bother figuring out why.

Even though the food is cold and completely overcooked, it is still the best meal I've ever had. 

I actually manage to forget about Tomas for a while.

.

We all head out together towards the dorms, and almost everyone is fully engaging in conversations with each other.  
Hilda is teaching Lysithea something about how to apply lipstick, Leonie and Raphael are planning an arm wrestling contest and Ignatz is talking to Lorenz about a book they've both read recently.

It's just Marianne who is still not blending into the group. Now, I know that we literally only met this morning, but everyone else is already getting along so well with each other. 

It's difficult for me to see that one person is isolating themselves. You might say it hits a little too close to home.

But just how do I start a conversation with her? I can't think of anything she might enjoy.  
Oh! She did say something…

"So, Marianne. Deer, huh?" 

"Uhm, e-excuse me?" 

"Well, you named us the Golden Deer because you like deer right?" 

"Oh… actually, I said I like Dorte. B-but deer are fine too… The others seem to enjoy it as well." 

Can't believe I messed that one up. 

"Then what are Dortes? If I may ask." 

"Dorte is one of the horses in the stables. She's… please don't tell anyone I said this, but… Dorte is my favorite horse." 

She actually looks guilty for saying that. How sweet and pure.

"Don't worry Marianne, your secret is safe with me. I wouldn't dare tell anyone." 

I make a gesture of locking my lips with an imaginary key, but I'm not sure where I'm supposed to put the key now. 

Pretending to throw it away is so cliche, but I can't pretend to swallow it anymore either because I already 'locked' my mouth shut.

For a few seconds I'm just standing there, staring at my empty hand while contemplating where to put the damn key.

Apparently my inner struggle is visible, because I can hear a very soft giggle coming from Marianne and I look up at her in surprise.

Who knew she'd look so beautiful when she laughs.

I'm momentarily stunned, forgetting all about my stupid key problem and instead just watching Marianne before laughing along with her. 

The others have moved on already, so I'm going to walk Marianne to her room. I'd like to spend a little more time with her and talk, but she's already gone back to her quiet self. So now we walk in a comfortable silence.

After we said our good nights to each other, she closes her door and I start heading towards my own room. 

My plan is to spend the night making strategies and think of some useful formations for when we're outside next week.

I'd really like to do that in the library, where I have all the resources I could need, but I'm honestly terrified I'll see Tomas again.

I do need to borrow some books, though. How annoying.

Maybe I could just go and check if he's still there. If he isn't, perfect. If he is, though, ugh. I don't even want to think about going to see him in the dark all by myself.

Just as I'm about to give up, I spot Dimitri turning a corner at the end of the hallway. 

Gotta be fast if I want to catch up to him. 

I take a small sprint to the end of the hallway and turn the same corner I just saw him do. 

"...pretty late already, it's probably best if you'd just go to bed." I can hear Dimitri saying in a hushed voice. 

Oh my, a secret rendezvous in the dark hallway hmmm? I already can't wait to tease him when he's done talking to whoever he's talking to.

"I'm aware of the time, you don't need to tell me. I just wish we could spend some time together, we've both been so busy all day." 

Wait, is that Edelgard? They're actually a thing? For real?

"Yes, but it's for the best. I have no doubt that you want to get up early in the morning. You should rest as much as you can." 

It feels so wrong to listen in on them like this but I really need to talk to Dimitri. Edelgard would lose her mind if she knew I'm right here.

"Perhaps you're right. But promise me that we will spend tomorrow evening together. No excuses." 

"Alright, that sounds fair. We'll have dinner together." 

"Sounds lovely. Good night, my prince. I'll miss you." 

A kissing sound echoes rather loudly through the empty hallway. It makes me want to gag for some reason.

"Good night to you as well, my Edelgard." 

My Edelgard, really? That's a shitty way to call your lover. So unlike Dimitri, if I'm being honest. But that's none of my business.

I hear light footsteps make their way up the stairs and disappear. Now's my chance.

"Hey, big guy! Were you heading somewhere?" 

Dimitri visibly scares and I can't help but laugh. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Totally did.

"Oh, Claude. I-I wasn't expecting you, at all." 

He's always so tense around me, I wonder what I did that makes him so wary.  
Except the me scaring him part but that's just a funny thing to do.

"Were you maybe listening to my conversation just now?" 

Did he see me? There's no way he saw me.

"What conversation? Oh, don't tell me a girl confessed her feelings to you. Or maybe you confessed your hidden feelings to a girl instead? Wow Dimitri, I didn't know you actually cared about that stuff but look at you."

He lets out a relieved sigh, or at least it sounds relieved. He doesn't elaborate on what his conversation was about, or with who. It doesn't make sense though, why hide his relationship with Edelgard?

"It was nothing important. You asked if I was heading anywhere, was there a reason for that?" 

"Ah, yes actually! Are you busy right now? I'm in need of a favor." I give him my sweetest smile.

"I can't say that I am, what would you have me do?" 

He wets his lips, it looks a little nervous. Or maybe it's just the dim light playing tricks on my vision. Either way, I'm glad he wants to help me out.

"Well you see, I was heading to the library to make some preparations for tomorrow. But I kinda really don't want to go alone, since it's late and all. So, could you maybe come with me?" 

For the extra effect and convincing, I bat my eyelashes at him. I doubt it looks anything other than ridiculous. 

He huffs a soft laugh before he answers. "Of course I'll come with you." 

"Thank you, your Highness. I owe you one!" I tell him before I start heading in the direction of the library. "Come on, I don't have all night." 

"Yes, sorry." 

.

"You can go first." I tell Dimitri when we've reached the library's entrance. 

He looks at me funny, but still knocks on the door before he enters. 

"Is Tomas here?" I whisper at him.

"Tomas? You mean the librarian?" I nod and he looks around.

"No, there's no one here." 

"Thank god." I accidentally say out loud and I realize my mistake when he asks me why I'm glad about that.

"Oh, nothing. You can leave now, if you want." 

Please don't push it, please don't push it.

"You can tell me if anything's wrong. Maybe I could help." 

And he pushed it.

But then I get a great idea.

"Well, how about I'll tell you if you tell me what you were discussing with Seteth and Rhea after we were dismissed?" 

He looks surprised, probably thought I'd forgotten about that already. Surprise, though. I don't forget anything that interests me.  
He ponders it over for a bit before he gestures me to sit down.

"Okay, I'll tell you. But I need you to promise not to tell anyone. I don't want to get in trouble with Seteth." 

"Sure, I promise" because I know how bad it is to be in trouble with Seteth.

He takes a deep breath before he collects himself and starts talking.

"I saw Seteth hit one of the students."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a lot of dialogue and uninteresting stuff for a few chapters, but I promise we're heading outside soon! 
> 
> Thank you for reading


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter :) 
> 
> I found this one a little difficult to write because it's mainly a filler, but I hope you enjoy anyway

"I saw Seteth hit a student. I felt really uncomfortable knowing that, so I wanted to ask Seteth himself about it."

I almost can't believe what I'm hearing. He literally told Seteth that he saw him hit someone? That's suicide.

"Did you see who it was?" I ask.

"I believe it was Linhardt von Hevring, a student recruited by Edelgard." 

The name isn't unfamiliar, but I can't picture his face. 

Where have I heard his name, though? 

"Isn't he an honor student?" It's a random guess, but it's as good as any.

"Was, actually. Seteth withdrew his status after finding some illegal information in his sleeping chamber. It's also apparently the reason why Seteth hit him."

"I can't say I'm surprised. I can't even count the amount of times Seteth has hit me before."  
I don't tell him about the other things Seteth has done to me, I really don't want to recall any of those memories right now.

"How awful…"

Dimitri started clenching his fists while I was talking. It looks painful, so I grab one of his hands to ease it open. His nails pierced the skin.

He looks at me with big eyes, visibly surprised but I can also see sympathy.

I'm sure he would do the same thing if it were my hand, so I don't really get why he's so surprised.

"Your hand is hurt." I simply say. 

He blinks, then follows my gaze to his hand.

"It will heal." He whispers back.

We share a quiet moment where I'm just caressing his sore skin with my thumb and he's letting me, watching me intently.

It's like I'm in some sort of mindless state, focused on nothing but Dimitri's hand. It's weird, I don't think I've ever experienced this before.

He's changed his view from his hand to my face and just stares. I don't mind.

For a long while, neither of us breaks the silence hanging between us. Maybe neither of us wants to, maybe we're just not able to.

A soft wind blows through the library, causing the flames of the candles and torch lights to flicker.

The moving of the light pulls me out of the trance I was in and I immediately pull back my hand from his.

That was messed up.

"Uh, sorry. I don't know why I did that." I feel so awkward right now.

"No, it's alright. You don't need to apologize." 

He rubs his face with his hands, but I can still see the furious blush coating his cheeks.

It actually makes me blush a little too.

"So, Tomas? You did say you'd tell me." 

Boy, am I glad he asked. I don't want to think about what I just did ever again.

"Right, Tomas. He said some nasty things to me and I just really didn't want to give him an opportunity to repeat that."

I don't want to tell him any more than that, hopefully he'll get the hint.

"Nasty things?" He asks. Of course, he asks.

"Yeah, about who I am. Or rather, what I am. You know, the usual. Said that I'm a freeloader and a stranger." 

To show him that he shouldn't be too bothered by it, I stretch my arms in an attempt to look relaxed. I don't want him to worry about me, it's a bad look on his face.

"That's kind of the same Edelgard said to you." He looks sour as he says it.

That actually makes me laugh, even though it shouldn't be funny to me at all.

"It's what ninety percent of the people here say about me, why are you glowering like that?"

"I told Edelgard to stop doing saying those things about you." He says softly.  
"I tell the same to everyone I hear talking bad behind your back." He whispers right after.

Now that shocks me. He really does that? But why?

Now that I think about it, Dimitri has never treated me with anything other than kindness and respect. Like an equal.

I don't really know what to say to that, so I'll laugh it off.

"You're a funny guy, you know that? I don't need your protection or anything. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself." I say with a wink.

"I know you are, that's not why I- I mean, that's not what I meant. I just-" He's really struggling with his answer.

Poor guy, I didn't mean to fluster him like this. It looks like I need to work on my social skills a bit. Maybe then, Dimitri and I could be friends. I think I'd like that.

"Anyways," I cut him off, just to save him the trouble of making the inevitable apology I'm going to get, "I'm going to get busy with some preparations for tomorrow." 

It's a silent and subtle dismissal, but subtle does not exist in Dimitri's vocabulary.

"Would you like some help? I can get you any books you need." He's already standing up, eager to help.

Might as well make use of him then.

"Could you maybe get me some books on close-combat weapons, battle formations and edible plants?" 

"Of course, give me a few minutes." He walks off towards a tall bookcase and starts searching for some books that fit my descriptions.

I should probably do something kind for him too sometime. It's time for me to return some favors to him.

"Thank you, Dimitri. I really appreciate it." Thanking him is the least I can do for now.

He turns to look behind him and smiles at me.

Damn, it's warm in here.

We spend the rest of the night discussing strategies and units, forming movement plans and me teasing him. It's nice.

Unfortunately, even we need to sleep. So we each head to our separate bedrooms after we say our goodbyes.

I fall asleep right when my head touches my pillow, and it's the first night in many that I don't sleep while holding my dagger.

.

The following morning, my Deer and I find ourselves back in classroom number 6. I've got lots to discuss with them, so it's best that we don't go to the library.

And maybe because Tomas is probably in there.

"So, tell me what weapon you've all been studying." I address no one specifically, so I should have known they'd all start talking at the same time.

"Okay, stop. One at a time please. Raphael, you can go first." 

"Me? My muscles are all I need!" 

Hm, barehanded won't do. Too dangerous.

"Well then, with your muscles, I'm sure you could handle training with an axe. I want you to use a weapon outside." 

"Got it! I'll start training right after I eat!"

"Sounds great. Ignatz, what about you?" 

"Oh, I-I do pretty well with a bow, I think." 

I'm definitely going to help him get rid of that insecurity. 

"Ah, a fine weapon that is." He nods.  
"But I'd like you to work on a closer-range weapon, a lance for example. Just in case." 

"R-right! I got it, I'll start training right away." 

"I could help you with practicing the lance." Leonie says. "I've been practicing it for years!" 

"That's actually a fantastic idea, Leonie. You can help Ignatz with the lance, and in turn he can help you practice the bow." 

"Got it!" They both say. 

"Come on, Ignatz, we'll be on our way then." 

I nod at them both as they head out towards the training ground together.

"Excuse me, mister Leader man?" Hilda starts, batting her eyes at me.

"Yes, Hilda?" 

"Is there a possibility that I can sit out on training? I twisted my ankle on my way here and I don't think I can move around on it much for a while." 

And there it is. I was wondering when this side of hers would show.

"And what were you thinking of doing then?" There's no way I'm letting her get away with such a poor excuse.

"I could still come to the training ground, to watch and cheer everyone on. It'll be good for boosting morale and motivation too!" She says with a big smile.

"But if you don't train, I don't think I'll risk taking you outside with me." 

Something sparks in her eyes when I say that.

"Claude, you better be joking." Lysithea does not look pleased, but I have a plan.

"You really mean it?" Hilda beams. "Because my foot is so sore, it's hard to even stand on it. I really don't think I should be going outside with all of you, I'd only be holding you back." 

And now it's time to put out the spark.

"But Hilda, if you don't come with us now, you're going to have to go back to the academy. You'll get in class with the next generation of children, who are now eight to twelve years old. Do you know what that means for you?" I bat my eyes at her.

She shakes her head.

"It means that you'll get to spend about ten years in a class with children, learning everything you've already learned, doing all the homework over and you'll get to participate in their final test when it comes. But like you said, with your ankle in this state, it's probably best if you don't come along." 

Suddenly she stands up from her seat. 

"Oh, would you look at that! My ankle feels so much better already. It's a miracle!" 

Lorenz looks at her and scoffs, but he doesn't say anything.

"Awesome! You'll get to come along with us after all!" I still wonder how Raphael manages to always be so happy.

But there we go. I'd let her sit out whenever, really. But not when we need to prepare to fight for our lives.

"Wow, a miracle indeed. What weapon did you study again?" 

"I've used an axe before, but don't expect too much from me, I'm a delicate flower after all." She giggles.

"Perfect, you and Raphael can train together then." 

Immediately, she stops giggling and looks at me like I'm out of my mind. Maybe I am, but Raphael needs practice.

"I'm looking forward to it, Hilda. Let's get along!" 

"Uh, yeah, sure. Let's." 

She's really not pleased with me right now. It'll only benefit her later, though.

Raphael nearly drags her out the classroom.

"That leaves the four of us. Lysithea, fire away. What are you good at?" 

She smirks at me. "I was the best student in reason in our magic class." 

Lorenz sits up straight, preparing to deny her statement, but Lysithea shushes him right away.

"I was, Lorenz. Don't even try to tell me I'm wrong. I easily beat you at the beginning of this year in a tournament." 

He slumps back in his seat without saying a word.

"That's certainly very impressive, little one." 

She's so immersed in my compliment that she doesn't even react to my nickname for her. 

"But we won't be using any magic outside, so I'd like you to start practicing the sword." 

Both Lysithea and Lorenz look utterly shocked and Marianne lets out a sigh. Ah, they all use magic then.

"Unless you practice white magic, because we're going to need heals." Maybe that calms them a little.

"No, Claude. I practice dark and black magic. The 'attack' magic, if you will. And I don't plan to stop practicing it just because you're jealous that you can't." 

"Yeah, why can't we use magic? It's so much more effective than physical weapons." 

I can't believe they both have the audacity to pout at me. Or well, Lysithea I can believe, but I expected a little more maturity from Lorenz.

"I'm not jealous, and magic spells just take too much time and energy to cast. We're reducing our uses of magic to only white magic. The 'healing' magic, if you will." I mock Lorenz' words, just because I can.

There is another reason why magic is a no-go, but I can't remember it for the life of me.

"Uhm… Claude..?" Marianne speaks up for the first time today.

"Yes, Marianne. What is it?" 

"I-I have been practicing white magic for a while, maybe I could… I can t-try to teach Lysithea and Lorenz…" 

I don't like the idea of Marianne only knowing healing magic instead of learning a way to defend herself out there, but I do need more than just one person who can heal. These decisions are harder to make than I thought.

"If you would, Marianne, I would very much appreciate your effort. I've already perfected my use of a lance and black magic, so I don't need to waste more time practicing those. Lysithea, it's best if you came with us as well." 

Good, at least he knows how to use a weapon.

"Actually, Lorenz, Lysithea is coming with me. We're going to practice swordsmanship. You and Marianne should go to the library to study white magic." 

I want Lysithea to learn a heal or two as well, especially because of her knack for magic, but not under Lorenz' authority. Can't have him thinking he can take over leadership from me.

"But I thought you're a bowman, Claude. How are we going to practice swordsmanship together?" 

I didn't think Lysithea would've noticed something like that.

"Well, yes. But I'm a man of many talents." I reply with a wink. 

She rolls her eyes before she gets up from her seat as well.

"Shall we get going then? I've only held a sword about twice, I still have much to learn." 

"Yes, we're going. You guys are going to the library then?" I look at both Marianne and Lorenz and they nod in agreeance. 

"Let's meet up again in the dining hall for lunch. I'll be sure to tell the others at the training ground as well." 

"Sounds like a plan, then. We will see you there. Shall we head out as well, Marianne?" 

"Oh, right. I'm coming."

We all head towards our destined places, ready to start a week of training.

.

The planning for the rest of the week is about the same.  
In the morning, we get together in classroom 6 to discuss our progress.  
Then, we head to the training ground to train and spar with each other until it's time for lunch.  
We eat together everyday, talking and joking with each other. I feel like we're already becoming a close group, I'm really happy with that.  
After lunch, we go to the library to study the theory on weapons, read books on survival in the wild and write down easy recipes that we can use while we're out there.

I know we're only going for three days, but it never hurts to prepare too much. Especially because Raphael's appetite is bigger than the rest of us combined. 

When everyone's fed up with studying, we make our way to the dining hall to have dinner together. 

The rest of the evening is for relaxation, because I don't want anyone to overwork themselves. 

I'm secretly glad Lysithea doesn't feel like that applies to her, that masterminded angel doesn't know how to take a break and started studying faith on her own.

I don't take any time off either, I spend the rest of the night in the library, doing research together with Dimitri.

I learned that Tomas doesn't speak to me if I'm not alone, so bringing Dimitri with me is a must.  
It doesn't bother me that much though, I enjoy the time I spend with Dimitri. 

And so, the week has almost ended and tomorrow is the day we head outside.  
To say I'm nervous is an understatement, but I need to have faith in my Deer. They've worked hard and I can't afford to show them any doubts.

It looks to me like we're all a little off our game. Even Raphael and Leonie are quiet for their doing.

But we'll make it work, we have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we'll finally be going outside, hopefully that's something to look forward to because then the action will finally start
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took longer than normal, but it's a little bit longer so I hope that makes up for it :) 
> 
> Enjoy

The day before we head out is terribly quiet.

We're all on edge, and especially Hilda and Lysithea seem to be in a weird mood. Presumably fear or nerves.

Guess it's up to me to save the day. 

"Hey, everyone. Listen up for a bit."  
Despite my tables' silence, I still have to raise my voice a bit to be heard over the noise of the other people in the dining hall.

"Tomorrow, we're going outside. For the first time in likely ever, you're gonna have to fight for your lives. It's not going to be easy-" 

"Is this supposed to help? Because it's not easing my nerves in the slightest." Lysithea glares at me. 

I laugh.

"I wasn't finished yet, little one. Please, allow me to continue." 

She just keeps glaring.

"It's not going to be easy, but I'm confident that we're gonna succeed. And that's because I have faith in every single one of you. You were the ones Dimitri and Edelgard didn't choose, and I'm really happy they didn't. I saw the potential in the lot of you right away and I know that you all brought out the best in each other. We had less than a week to prepare, but the progress you all made is exceptional. If we just stick to the things we learned and practiced, I know we'll make it, together." 

They still look unsure. Shit, what do I do now?  
Everyone stays quiet for a while, until; 

"Yeah! Together!" God bless Raphael and his contagious enthusiasm.

"I-I have faith in us too, I think we got this!" Ignatz says with a smile. 

"Yeah, we trained really hard, there's no way we'll fail out there!" Leonie shouts along.

Even Lorenz' spirits are raised. "There's no reason to have any doubts, you have me there, after all." 

"I don't know, maybe I should sit out this year…" 

"That won't do, Hilda. We'll be fine." Lysithea tells her. "Right, Marianne?" 

"Uhm, yes! I'll try to heal you if you get hurt…" 

"That would be great, Marianne! We're all counting on you!" 

Raphael gives her a soft pat on the back and it actually makes her smile, which makes everyone else smile along right with her. Including myself.

Thankfully, no one's looking glum anymore.

"Well, Claude, got anything else to say? I'm sure we can use all the time we have to start packing and do some last-minute preparations." 

Lorenz catches me off-guard.

"Uh, no. No, that's all. I think you all know what to bring along. Be sure not to forget anything, though. Once we're outside, we can't go back in. If you don't remember everything or need help packing, be sure to ask someone. That's all." 

"Let's go then, if we hurry packing, we might still get some training done." 

"Ugh, Leonie. You really train too much. Shouldn't we try to save some energy for tomorrow?" Hilda looks at me for confirmation.

"I have to agree with Hilda on this one. Let's just make sure we got everything we need, no rushing anything." 

Everyone nods before standing up and heading to their rooms to start packing their bags.

God, please let me be right. Please make sure we'll be okay out there. 

.

On my way to my room, I see Edelgard and Dimitri talking in one of the hallways. Edelgard looks unhappy. 

I kinda want to know what they're talking about, so I decide to walk slower.

"I don't understand why you're so upset with me. We had dinner together every day." Dimitri doesn't sound too happy either.

"Yes, you're right. You spend an hour with me on eating dinner, only to then tell me to head to bed early. And what about you? You never go to sleep early, so what do you do after dinner?" 

She has a point. I never actually thought about that, but he does blow her off to go to the library with me.

"I help other people make preparations. Unlike you, I do try to make sure every single one of us can make it back here unscathed. Even if they're not in the same group as me." 

Ouch, that's gotta hurt. I don't think I've ever heard Dimitri sound angry, but look at that. He's got it in him after all.

I try to walk by as subtly and unnoticed as possible. I really don't want any part in their argument, even though I'm pretty much the cause.

But since subtle doesn't exist in Dimitri's vocabulary, he smiles at me as I walk by, causing Edelgard to notice me as well.

I wave at them both.

"Don't tell me…" she starts, but doesn't finish. 

She looks from Dimitri to me, then back to Dimitri. 

"That's disgusting." She says right before she stomps off. 

I don't know what she's talking about, mainly because she didn't elaborate on anything, but Dimitri seems terribly affected by what she said.

"Uhm, is everything okay?" I ask Dimitri carefully. 

I actually can't afford to waste any time right now, but I'd feel horrible leaving him here like this.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry you had to hear that." He smiles for reassurance, but it looks forced. 

I really can't afford to spend too much time here right now though.

"If you say so. We still going to the library later?" 

He hesitates.

"No, I don't think I'll make it. I have things to do, so good luck for tomorrow." 

"Ah, too bad. But good luck to you as well, your highness." 

He winces at the nickname.

I decide to just leave him be, because I have things to do as well.

.

After I finally get to my room, I frantically start searching the things I need. I take the bag we got from Seteth and start loading all sorts of random things in it. 

I know the others are all bringing food, medicine and other useful things, so I have spare room to bring what I think we're going to need.

Things like whetstones to make and sharpen weapons in case one of ours breaks, flintstones to make fires, inflammable oil and clothing rags to make torches, a fishing rod and hook to catch fish with, ropes and empty cans to set up a perimeter around our camp, and some extra food rations I stole from the kitchen before breakfast this morning.

Maybe I'm exaggerating a little with all the extra stuff, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

After I'm sure I packed everything I wanted to pack, I head over to Hilda's room to check her bag. I'm willing to bet that about sixty percent she packed is makeup, perfume and stuff to put in her hair. 

As soon as I'm finished checking with Hilda, and fixing her bag, I decide to just go and check on the others as well. 

I'm pleasantly surprised by most of them. Leonie has taken a whole extra load of arrows from the supply room, Marianne put a medical kit together, Lysithea packed a few books on wildlife and Raphael thought of bringing cooking supplies.

The others, I'm not so sure about. Lorenz brought a romance novel, Hilda packed her makeup and hair products after all, and Ignatz decided to bring drawing utensils.

I'm not about to kill their game, though. It is still only three days, and who knows? Maybe we won't even see any infected out there during our time outside. Might as well bring something to enjoy themselves with.

"Are we all set and ready? It's already late in the afternoon, so if you still need to do anything, now would be the time."

All of them go over their mental checklists one more time before they nod their confirmation. Perfect.

"Alright, that's convenient. Anyone want to join me in the library after dinner? I still want to check a few things before tomorrow." 

"I'll come with you, maybe I can still find some books on wild animals that are supposed to live around here." 

I've thought it before and I'll keep thinking it, but god bless Lysithea.

"Hey, maybe I can come along too! I'm not good at reading books, but when it's about food, there's nothing that can hold me back!" 

And Raphael too. What angels they are.

"Sounds like a party. Thank you guys. The rest of you can fill in your evenings the way you like, just make sure you're well-rested tomorrow." 

Dinner is loud and rowdy, just like always, which I'm glad about.   
We stay a while longer after everyone's finished to discuss some more strategies, but most of all to just spend some more time with each other in a peaceful environment.

From the corner of my eye, I see Seteth making his way toward me. Edelgard and Dimitri are walking right behind him.

Right before they come to a halt, I see Edelgard grab Dimitri's hand and intertwines their fingers. She raises an eyebrow at me when she sees me watching.

"Excuse me, Claude. Do you have a moment?" Seteth asks me.

"Sure, what's up?" I smile right at him.

His eyebrow twitches in annoyance, but doesn't say anything about my way of speaking to him.

"I'd like for you to come with Edelgard and Dimitri to Lady Rhea's audience chamber. We have something to discuss with the three of you." 

"Actually, I already had plans." I look at Raphael and Lysithea.

"Those plans can wait, you are coming with me right this instance." There's no room for discussion there, so I stand up reluctantly.

"It's fine, we'll be in the library already when your meeting is over." Lysithea reassures me.

"Yeah, you can count on us!" 

"Thanks, you guys. See you there." I tell Raphael and Lysithea before following Seteth to the audience chamber.

Dimitri refused to make eye contact with me the whole time.

.

Once again, we're standing in front of Seteth and Lady Rhea, just like one week ago. I still feel uneasy in here.

"Thank you for coming to see me. I hope the preparations are going according to your plans." Rhea says with her calm voice.

Both Edelgard and Dimitri nod. I don't respond.

"Your good news warms my heart. I can imagine you're still a little nervous to go outside. But worry not, you have the divine protection of the goddess on your side. I have no doubts you will all return inside safely." 

Her mask is showing a crack. She isn't supposed to be smiling as widely as she is.

"That being said, it doesn't mean that you can be reckless out there. It's best that you stay on your guard at all times." Seteth said, voice stern.

"So, what is this meeting about exactly? Because I was going to visit the library after dinner." My patience is ebbing away at a fast pace. 

"Of course, let's get right to it then." Rhea is the one to answer me, likely because Seteth would yell at me to be quiet.

"Seteth and I have decided that we will tell you the reason behind this final test. We have realized that we have been very vague around the purpose of the test itself, but we will no longer beat around the bush."

Well, finally. 

"The biggest and main reason we are sending you outside of all things, is because we are running out of food here in the monastery. We have so many people, but not nearly enough resources to fill their stomachs." 

She looks hurt just by saying it.

"That is why, we would like you to find some food sources. Some kind of fruit or vegetable with plenty of nutrients and won't take long to grow. We are in dire need of your assistance. If you fail, I don't know what measures we'll have to take to deal with our overpopulation. Please, do your best." 

She bows and Seteth follows her example. They're both bowing, at us. Unbelievable.

"We understand, Lady Rhea, Seteth. I promise you that the Black Eagles will succeed. We will not let you down." Edelgard politely replies.

"We will also try our very best, Lady Rhea. You can count on us!" Dimitri bows to them in turn.

"I'll just try to survive, thank you. I'll see if I have some time left that I look for a plant or whatever."

I'm not changing my priorities, not for this. There has to be another way to solve the overpopulation problem. It is not my responsibility to keep things running here.

One may call me selfish for this thought, and I'm sure that I am, but Lady Rhea has a small army of trained soldiers for god's sake. Why do inexperienced students have to take care of this? 

"How dare you! We are humbly asking you for help, and this is your response? This is unbelievable! I believe it's time we talk about values and norms again, Claude. You can stay behind. Edelgard, Dimitri, you are dismissed. See that you get plenty of rest before tomorrow." Seteth says without breaking eye contact with me.

Edelgard is already turning around at Seteth's words of dismissal, but Dimitri seems to be stalling.

"E-excuse me, Seteth, but Claude and I were going to do some last-minute research in the library together. I don't want to go to bed too late, so could you please let him go?" 

I look at him in disbelief and I'm not the only one. Edelgard turned around the second Dimitri said my name, and she looks pretty mad. 

Maybe Dimitri figured out that Seteth isn't really going to talk to me about anything, but rather physically teach me that one does not disregard Rhea's 'humble' request for help.

Or maybe he changed his mind and wants to go to the library with me after all. I never know what Dimitri's thinking.

"That's not true, Dimitri, we were going to have a romantic walk around the monastery, remember?" Edelgard says, emphasizing the word 'romantic'. 

Dimitri sends her a begging look, seemingly desperate for her to play along. Too bad for him that it doesn't work.

Neither Edelgard nor Seteth is impressed by his untruthful claim, and I have no real reason to agree with him.

"Now, Dimitri, it's not like you to flat out lie like this, but I'll let it slide this time. Off you go, you shouldn't keep your lady waiting." 

Dimitri sends me one more look of pity before he too leaves, Edelgard grabbing his hand and kissing his lips before she closes the door behind his back. I look away.

Now, I know what's coming next, so I brace myself for the impact of Seteth's fist against my cheek. 

Something I can't see coming, however, is him grabbing my collar instead and pushing me back against the nearest wall, hard.

The back of my head collides with the stone and it sends a painful jolt through the rest of my upper body. It already starts throbbing. 

"You punk, how dare you still act this way towards Lady Rhea?!" 

A punch in my gut which makes me want to throw up.

"The same woman who saved your life all those years ago!" 

His fist hits my chest, causing my breath to hitch and I swear I can hear one or two ribs crack at the impact.

"I'll be honest with you, Claude. I hope you don't come back. I hope you die out there, so you'll finally understand just what Lady Rhea has done for you." 

His hand around my collar moves up a bit and starts to wrap itself around my throat. 

"I'm sorry" I try, but he doesn't let go. Instead, his fingers tighten and my breathing gets painfully rough.

I try to pull his hand away, scratch at his wrist and push his face away from me, but nothing has any effect. He doesn't even budge.

My vision starts to blur before I see black spots dancing in front of my eyes. I can't breathe at all anymore.

I'm going to die here, I'm sure of it. I'm going to die and the last thing I'll see is Seteth's angry vein and the last thing I'll ever hear is Seteth wishing the worst kind of death upon me.

I'm starting to lose consciousness until I hear Rhea's voice. The hand around my throat comes loose and I breathe in air like a newborn.

"That's enough Seteth. I'm sure you got your point across." She hasn't even moved from the spot she was in when we walked inside.

"My apologies, Lady Rhea." Seteth rolls around his wrist, ridding it from cramps.

I cough as I try to breathe in as much air as I can. My throat feels rough, it burns. 

Seteth and Rhea are talking about something, but a ringing in my ears is preventing me from hearing them. 

My vision slowly returns and I don't even need to think about what I'm doing next.   
I'm getting out of this room as fast as my aching body allows me.

Seteth has reached a new point in his abuse and I'm not getting near him ever again, for whatever reason.

I stumble out without saying a word, and both Rhea and Seteth watch me go.

I never made it to the library after that.

.

The following morning, Lysithea has taken the responsibility of getting me out of bed.  
I should be ashamed that she has to wake me, but damn if my body doesn't hurt. I deserve more sleep.

"Come on, Claude! We need to pick up our things and head to the front entrance! Literally everyone else is ready and you're still lying in bed. You even missed breakfast!" She lets out a groan of frustration.

"Your voice hurts." Damn, my voice sounds so rough it surprises me even. 

"Then just get up already!" 

God, my head hurts. Actually, everything hurts, but my head especially.

Lysithea is right though, I need to get moving if everyone else is ready to go.

I doubt I could eat anything right now anyways. My throat feels like there's a lump the size of an apple stuck in there. It hurts to swallow.

"I-" shit, that sounded terrible. I try to clear my throat. "I'll be right there, give me a bit." I manage to croak out.

"You sound awful, did you always sound like this in the morning? Or did something happen last night? I never saw you at the library, and Raphael and I waited for you for a long time." 

Of course she comments on it.

"Yeah, sorry. Something came up. Hope you didn't miss me too much."   
I wince from the pain when I raise my arms to pull my shirt over my head.

"D-don't be ridiculous! I found what I needed perfectly fine without you, so you didn't even have to come." She scoffs, but I know she was worried. It's obvious from her tone of voice. How sweet.

Instead of putting my dagger under my pillow like I usually do, I decide to put it in one of the side pockets of my bag. Within reach, of course.

I'm fully dressed now and very sore, but I think I'm ready so I open the door. Lysithea is leaning against the wall opposite to my room.

"Well, finally. Took you way too long!" She exclaims.

"Sorry little one, it won't happen again." I tell her with a wink. 

"Ugh, let's just go already. And don't call me that!" 

"Sorry, my bad." 

My voice sounds like shit. I wonder if there are finger-shaped bruises showing on my throat. If there are, Lysithea either didn't see, which I find highly unlikely. Or she stays quiet out of politeness, which I'm grateful for.

We tease each other back and forth until we reached the front entrance of the monastery. True to Lysithea's words, everyone else is indeed already here. 

Rhea and Seteth and a handful of guards are standing in front of the two huge doors that form the entrance. Behind that is the outside marketplace that is no longer being used. And after you cross the old marketplace, you'll see the gigantic gate which is also quite literally the bridge to the outside.

Aside from Rhea and them, of course the Blue Lions and Black Eagles are present, as well as the rest of my Golden Deer, but surprisingly also a lot of the monastery inhabitants have decided to come see us off. 

How nice of them.

Lysithea and I join the rest of the Deer and with that, everyone who needs to be here is finally present. I honestly have no idea what time it is, but they must have been waiting a long time.

"Is everyone present now?" Rhea's voice echoes through the large space. When no one objects, she continues.  
"Today marks the day that our students, for the very first time, will participate in a final test before graduating from the academy. May the gods of fortune be with the lots of you."   
She smiles one of her fake smiles, but no one else seems to notice as everyone starts cheering and wishing us luck.

"From here on out, none of the inhabitants other than the students are allowed to continue. We are to open the Gate Bridge, after all." Seteth informs while the guards open the two large doors to the marketplace.

The crowd keeps on cheering as the three groups of students follow Rhea's squad outside, across the abandoned marketplace and in front of the Gate Bridge.

"Remember," Rhea starts, "from here on out, there will be no turning back. Is everyone aware of that?" 

Most of the students nod in agreement, so she gives the sign to start lowering the gate, so it will form the bridge we are to cross to get to the outside.

While the gate is slowly getting into position, the guards in the watchtowers on top of the walls give a safety sign to Seteth, meaning that at least the 'front yard' is clear from any danger.

I hear scared voices, excited voices and confident voices all around me. 

I take in a deep breath and close my eyes, making a silent final prayer to literally any god who's listening right now.

Please, please let us be okay. And if you can't do that for me, please make sure no one else will be harmed out there. Please.

And then the gate is finally laying flat and we're able to cross it. 

The Black Eagles are going first, followed closely by the Blue Lions.

I know my Deer are waiting for me to move, but I'm terrified to go out there. 

Even though the infinitely stretched out grasslands I can see from here are absolutely beautiful, and the blue sky hasn't ever looked so big and open, I'm terrified. 

Because underneath that vast blue sky, on top of the beautiful green grass, I've seen more death than anyone should ever have to see in their whole lives. 

And we're about to enter that same hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorryyy, I kinda lied when I said that they would be going outside this chapter, but next chapter for sure! 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg over 300 hits?! Amazing!  
> Almost 20 kudos already? Even more amazing!
> 
> Thank you everyone who's reading this, it really means a lot
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter :)

My feet are standing frozen on the overgrown cobblestones of the marketplace. I'm focusing so much on controlling my breathing, that I don't even notice a guard coming up behind me. 

"It is time to go outside. Please make your way over the bridge, so we can close the gate." His muffled voice tells me. I almost can't hear him with his helmet on.

"Claude, come on! What are you waiting for?" Leonie yells from her position on the bridge. 

They don't know. They have no idea what's out there. That's why they can tell me to go so easily.

I'm pulled out of my trance by multiple people yelling at me that I need to get a move on. 

The guard actually starts pushing me forward.

I look at Rhea and Seteth. They're both watching me intently, impatiently it almost seems.

The guard keeps pushing me, until I get on the bridge and make it about halfway by myself. The rest of my Deer follow. 

The bridge covers a pretty deep and wide canal that's been dug around the whole monastery. We have to be careful not to fall off, walking on it with as many people as we are doing right now.

Right as Ignatz, who is the last to cross the bridge, hops off, the clinking of the chains pulling up the gate sounds.

Everyone turns around to watch our only escape to safety disappear right in front of our eyes.

"Guess we'll die." An unfamiliar voice coming from the Black Eagles says.

He's immediately shushed by the rest of them. 

"I'm scared." Hilda grabs my arm, I take her hand for comfort. 

I feel a pair of eyes burning into my back, but I don't know whose they are. Can't say I care either.

"Me too" I whisper.

I'm faintly aware that as their leader, I'm not supposed to show fear or insecurity, but I can't help myself. My whole body is shaking with fear and there's no way Hilda doesn't notice it.

"Lady Edelgard, what do you propose we should do now?" A tall young man with black hair asks.

"According to this map, there's supposedly a village to the east of here. We'll head over and see if we can find shelter there." 

Where did she get a map of the area? I thought those were burned along with most other documents about the outside.

"Can I see that map you have? Just for a few seconds, you can have it back right after."

I need to see that map, even if it's just to have an idea of what's around the area. Scouting seems too dangerous.

She looks at me and I can see that she doesn't want to give me the map.

"I would like to see the map as well, if you'll let me, Edelgard." 

Dimitri comes to stand next to me, but a few meters away. I don't know what's up with him, but he's been acting weird ever since his argument with Edelgard.

Looks like Edelgard can't say no to Dimitri though, so she hands him the map. I make my way over to him to take a look at the map and my shoulder accidentally brushes against his. He flinches away from my touch as if I burned him.

I don't know what problem he has with me all of a sudden, but I need to see that map, so I decide to not pay it any mind.

The map doesn't project a huge part of the area and I'm very disappointed to say the least.

It shows the location of the monastery, the huge field of grass we're currently standing on in front of the monastery, the small village in the east Edelgard mentioned, a part of a seemingly pretty big forest in the west and the river that's flowing a few kilometers south from the monastery.

The monastery, forest and river are visible from where we're standing. Just the village seems to be hidden behind a hill covered in green grass.

In all honesty, it's a beautiful sight. The only time we'd ever get to see a view like this would be in a painting or drawing.

It's weird, I don't remember any of this.

"So, Dimitri, what's the plan?" A guy with bright red hair asks Dimitri. 

I'm pretty sure his name is Sylvain, Dimitri mentioned him once or twice when we still talked.

"I suggest we go seek shelter in the forest. The trees make a good cover and we might find a source of food there which we can bring back inside."

"Understood." A darkly tanned man says.

I've seen him around before, but he was never willing to make conversation with me. A shame because I think we have quite some things in common. Both our skin colors are darker, after all.

The Blue Lions gather and start heading toward the forest, while the Black Eagles are already on their way to the village.

"...And what's our plan going to be, Claude?" Lorenz looks at me expectantly.

They all look my way.

"Can't we just go along with either of them? They seem to know what they're doing. A-and more people means more fighters, right?" Ignatz proposes.

He's right, but I'm currently not on good terms with either of their leaders. And while I've started to trust my Deer a little, I really don't trust any of the other groups.

"I say we stay right here." It's a good location.

"You mean we're not going to move? At all?" Raphael looks genuinely confused, poor guy. 

"That's right." 

"Claude, I can't believe this. Are you out of your mind? Why would we stay here when the others are seeking shelter somewhere?" 

"Lorenz, look around you. What do you see?" I ask him, maybe he'll figure it out on his own.

He sighs, but still does as I said.

"I see the monastery" I nod, "a small hill, a huge field of grass, a river." 

I nod again. "What else?" 

"I see a part of the forest and more grass and that's about it." 

"Oh! I get it now!" Lysithea shouts.

I don't expect any less from that small mastermind.

"We can see everything from here, so if anyone or anything were to approach us, we'd see immediately!" 

"Exactly. The monastery itself was built on top of this hill for height advantage against any attackers. Meaning that this location is already well-thought out. It's a good place to build our camp." 

"Hm, I guess you put more thought into this than it seemed. I have no more objections." 

Damn, it must hurt for Lorenz to admit his mistake. 

"Hey, we also won't have to watch our backs, since the canal around the monastery gives us cover from behind!" Leonie notices.

"And, if we'd need to, we could still take shelter in the forest. It's not that far, after all." Ignatz adds.

"Right. So shall we set up our tents?" 

"Now, hold on just one second. The water in this canal is disgusting, and the river is literally right there, can't we move a little closer? I want to be able to wash my hair."

Now that I take a closer look, the canal is indeed disgusting. The water is a dirty, brown reddish color. I'm guessing this is where the monastery guards throw the bodies of the infected they kill.

"Stop whining, Hilda. Don't you think our safety is more important than our hair?" 

"Actually, Lysithea, our hygiene is important as well. And would it really hurt to have more water available? I agree with Hilda on this one." Lorenz has decided to meddle.

"But guys, if we need more water or need to wash or whatever, we could just send a group down there to get what they need. This location is perfect." Leonie shoots back.

And of course, we're arguing again. 

Raphael and Ignatz have already started unpacking their bags, paying no mind to the ones that are bickering.

"Raphael, could you already set up the cooking set you brought? Marianne and I will get some branches from the forest to get a fire started later. Best to prepare as much as we can before nightfall." 

"Of course, leave it to me! Food is important, after all!" 

Marianne nods at me. 

I drop my bag and take a few of the things I'll need. A rope to bind the branches, my bow and a few arrows in case something's lurking out there and my dagger, which I put in the waistband of my pants.

Marianne seems to get the hint and follows my example, taking a few vulneraries out of her bag and some of the bandages she packed.

"Ready?" I ask.

She nods in reply.

"Great. You guys" I address those that are still bickering, "we're not moving our camp location. Marianne and I are going to head out to find some firewood for later. You should all start unpacking as well." 

They all become quiet.

"Wait, just the two of you?" Leonie asks.

"That was the plan. We've got lots to do, so I'm not about to waste time." 

"In that case, I'm coming as well. I'll cover for you guys." Leonie grabs her lance and joins Marianne and me.

"Alright, sounds good. The rest of you, start unpacking. Leave one person to stand on guard though, we can't afford to let anything surprise us." 

I gesture to Marianne and Leonie to follow me and we head over to the forest the Blue Lions went in before.

.

"Marianne, can you pick up branches and small logs? You can tie them together with this." I hand her the rope. "We'll cover your back."

"A-alright…" She goes to sit on her knees and starts gathering some fallen branches.

This shouldn't take long. There's plenty of wood we can grab and we don't have to go deep into the forest either. Piece of cake.

"Leonie, if you see anything, don't panic. Warn us first, then we'll decide if we can run or if we need to fight it. Got it?" 

"Yeah, got it." 

"Marianne, got it?" 

She nods.

"Marianne, I know you don't like to talk, but I'm going to need you to communicate with us. Verbally. So, got it?" 

"Sorry… yes, I got it." 

She continues gathering wood.

I look around us again, but the forest is so thick, it's hard to see far ahead. We shouldn't come here too often, too dangerous.

Dimitri needs to be careful, too.

Leonie gasps all of a sudden, Marianne stops moving.

"Leonie, everything okay?" 

"Yes, yeah sorry. I thought I saw someone but it was just a bush moving in the wind. Sorry." 

She's nervous, but at least she's got a good eye.

Suddenly a scream sounds from further up ahead. 

"Who was that? Was that one of us?" 

Marianne drops all the wood she's collected and stands up, I can see the fear in her eyes.

"Claude?! Was that one of us?" Leonie repeats.

I don't know, though. It didn't sound like one of us. It came from further up ahead, possibly a Lion.

"Claude! You literally just told Marianne to talk and now you're going silent yourself?! Answer me already!" 

"Leonie stop shouting! I don't know, okay?! I don't know if it was one of us, now stop making noise!" 

I don't mean to raise my voice at her, but she's making me panic. We could very well already be surrounded by infected and we can't even see them. 

"Let's just… let's just calm down, okay? It came from deeper inside the forest, so not from our camp. I don't think it was one of us, but let's still hurry up and get out of here." 

"Y-yeah, I don't want to be here longer than we have to."

Leonie's hands are trembling around her lance. 

I look at Marianne, but panic is still evident on her face.

"I'll start collecting wood, you guys watch over me."

I sit down to gather the branches Marianne dropped earlier and tie those together. There's a few rocks lying a bit further ahead.

"I'm going to get those rocks, stay with me." 

I don't wait for their answer before I walk off, but I look behind me to see if they're following anyway. They are, of course, and they're both warily keeping an eye on our surroundings. 

Good. At least I can trust them with this.

I pay them no more attention as I bend over to grab the rocks. We'll use these to set around the fire, to make sure it doesn't spread.

"C-Claude. I think… I think I see something…" 

I already stand up straight the second she calls my name, but when I follow her line of vision, I don't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Did you get what you needed, Claude? Because I'm hella ready to get out of here right now." 

"Yeah, we can leave now. I think I got enough. Let's go." 

The three of us thankfully make it out of the forest okay.

When we get back to our camp, three tents are already standing. Ignatz is currently helping Lysithea put up hers. Good, progress.

"Are you guys alright? We heard a scream and we were terrified that it was one of you." Hilda says, but she doesn't look like she was going to go after us. 

"Don't lie about such a thing, Hilda. I already said that it came from too far ahead to be one of them."

Lorenz doesn't even lift his eyes from the book he's reading as he talks.

Wait, what?

"Lorenz, please tell me why you're sitting there, reading a book, while our camp isn't set up yet." 

"Because I'm all finished with setting up my tent and decorating it with my things. It's time for me to relax." 

"Yeah, no. Sorry, but you're helping Marianne with her tent right now. We don't have time to relax until we're all completely done setting up." 

He sighs and rolls his eyes. He doesn't make a move to get up.

"I-it's okay… I can set up my tent myself…" Marianne walks over to her bag to start unpacking.

"Lorenz, help her. Now." 

I'm ready and willing to throw his book in the water if he doesn't.

He sighs again, but relents and gets up to help Marianne. 

He'd better not keep doing this, I don't need him to start giving me a hard time out here.

Lysithea's tent is finally up and standing, so she gets to unpacking her things as well. That leaves Leonie and me. 

"Ignatz, could you help Leonie setting up her tent as well?" 

He wipes a bit of sweat off his forehead.

"Yeah, of course. Come here, l-let me get that for you." 

He reaches for a pole Leonie took out of her bag and they both start putting up her tent.

I only now realize that no one's standing on guard. 

"Hilda, stop playing with your hair and stand on guard. Raphael, as soon as you're done taking out your things, you're keeping watch as well." 

"Got it! I'm almost finished." Raphael says, but Hilda doesn't respond to me.

"Hilda, now please." 

I'm already tired of having to repeat myself.

She sighs. "I just looked! There's literally nothing there but grass and trees." 

"To stand on guard means that you're looking and you keep looking. You watch your surroundings and check for any danger. If you see anything, report immediately. Did everyone hear me? I don't want to keep repeating myself." 

I hear a few grunts of affirmation, but that doesn't satisfy me.

I'm not satisfied with how things are going right now at all.

"Okay, since apparently it's very difficult to listen and respond while I'm talking to all of you at the same time, I'll ask each of you individually. Like with little children.  
Hilda, did you hear and understand what 'keeping watch' entails?" 

"Yeah, I heard you. I said I did." 

"Then answer me properly. Lorenz, did you hear and understand what it means to keep watch?" 

Another sigh from him. "Yes, Claude, I'm not stupid and you do not need to treat me like a child." 

"Then stop acting like one. Lysithea, did you-"

"Yes, I heard you, and I understand." 

"Good. Leonie, did you hear-" 

"Yes, Claude, you told me in the forest just now also." 

"I heard you!" Raphael says. 

At least he followed my order.

Ignatz comes crawling out of Leonie's tent, presumably fixing something inside. "I understand as well, Claude. Sorry for not responding." 

I nod at him. 

"Marianne?" 

"I-I heard you… Sorry." 

I take a deep breath. I really don't have time to be asking them any question individually all the time. I knew they were chaotic, but I need them to start working together or we might get into some real trouble.

"Since I have all of your attention now, I want to make a few things clear. I am responsible for every single one of you. I want what's best for you all, so that we can all stay safe out here. I want none of you to get hurt. But in order to reach that, I'm going to need you all to listen to me.  
I give out orders, not to get your hands dirty, or because I don't want you to relax, but because I want things to be ready. I want to make sure that we have everything set up, so that we are prepared when something comes. This is not a game, this is all real." 

They're all staring at me, but I seem to be getting through to them.

"Can we all just agree that you'll perform the tasks I give to you? I'm not about to play the king here and have you all work for me as my lackeys, but I need to be sure that I can count on you when I need it." 

Finally, progress. I get loud and clear answers from all of them. 

"Thank you. So let's try this again. Hilda, you and Raphael are standing guard. Lorenz, you're gonna finish helping Marianne set up her tent and unpack her bag. Lysithea, check the area close to camp if you can see any plants we've studied from the books. Ignatz and Leonie, take a small break. Get to it." 

They all verbally agree with me and start executing the task I gave them. I don't enjoy being this kind of leader, but if I want to keep them safe, I need to do whatever I have to in order to succeed.

I start setting up my own tent as well.

Ignatz helps me out of his own free will and I'm happy he is. 

"Sorry for talking to you all the way I did." I tell him. He didn't deserve that at all.

"Oh no, don't apologize." He laughs, "we'd be hopeless without you, I'm sure." 

I smile back at him.

"What did you bring all these empty cans for?" He takes them out of my bag, one by one.

"Oh, that was meant to put as a sort of sound trap for any infected who came near our camp. See, I was going to hang them all around our tents with this rope, and if anyone without a working brain were to walk into this, it'd make a whole lot of noise." 

"Ah, I see! Wow, that's actually really smart. I see you brought a fishing rod as well. You do realize we're only going to be here for a few days, right?" 

"Yeah, I know. But I live by the 'better safe than sorry' principle." 

"Oh, now I feel silly for bringing my art supplies." He scratches his reddening cheek.

It makes me laugh. 

"Don't worry about it, my friend. Just be sure to make some great drawings from the views here. They're amazing."

He nods enthusiastically. "I will!" 

"Uhm, Claude? Mister Leader man? I think someone just came out of the trees." Hilda says unsure.

I stand up from where I was sitting immediately, and I see it too. 

A person, probably an infected, did make its way out of the trees and it noticed us.

But why is it holding a sword, and why is that sword covered in blood?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, but not sorry for the cliffhanger


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small warning for a bit of gore
> 
> Also lots of dialogue and not much event
> 
> Hope you still enjoy, though! 
> 
> (Omg all the kudos I love you all <3)

Everyone abruptly stands up, eyeing the figure that stumbled out of the forest like Hilda said.

"Raphael, keep an eye out for anything else. We can't afford to be surprised." I tell him.

He hesitates, but then nods and turns around.

The infected isn't very close by, it would take him at least a few minutes before he reaches us. I should have plenty of time to form a plan. 

"Okay, keep calm guys. We discussed this kind of situation. Ignatz, shoot the legs as soon as it gets within reach. It should fall to the ground, making it easier to decapitate it."

Ignatz is trembling and I'm worried about if he can make the shot. I know his accuracy is nearly perfect, but still. Nerves can easily ruin his sense of direction.

He still grabs his bow, though, and places an arrow on it.

Worst case scenario, he'll miss and I'll have to make the shot myself, which isn't even that bad. I still take my bow.

"Lorenz, grab your lance. I'm going to need you to stab its neck at a safe distance, so its sword won't reach you." 

He huffs at me. "That won't be necessary." 

I redirect my gaze towards Lorenz and see he's preparing to launch a Fire spell at the infected.

"Lorenz! No magic, I said. Take the lance!" 

He doesn't listen, though, and I'm reaching the limit of my patience at a fast pace. Why can't he just follow my orders?! 

"I'll be fine. I made sure to be well-rested for today, so there is no need to worry about my energy. Just watch, you'll find that magic comes to me easier than swinging a lance around." He replies to me with an arrogant undertone.

As the infected slowly makes its way towards us, I get a better glimpse at what it looks like.

It looks like a regular male, dressed in old clothes which look like it could have belonged to a farmer. There's dirt and blood stains covering the fabric and I see there's a huge rip in its shirt across its chest.

Was it killed by an infected and turned after? It certainly looks that way.

Despite the normal look and the gash across its upper body, there is still something off about it. 

I can't focus too much on its looks, however, as Lorenz just fired his spell at it.

It doesn't even faze the infected and it keeps stumbling our way.

Right, that was the other reason not to use magic. It's completely and utterly useless against them.

Lorenz is gaping at it, but recovers quickly and starts preparing to cast another Fire spell. 

Does the man never learn?

"Lorenz, stop! It's useless, don't you see that?"

Lysithea finally recovers from her state of fear and takes the sword she packed. Her hands are shaky, but determination flashes in her eyes. Good.

Lorenz still fires his magic, but again, to no avail. It earns him a glare from Lysithea and Leonie.

Adrenaline runs through my blood as the infected creeps closer and closer. I gotta keep my head cool, though.

"Ignatz, get ready. Don't look at it, just aim for the legs." 

"R-right!"

He pulls the arrow to his chest, aiming for the infected. He closes one of his eyes before he fires it off. 

The arrow hits the infected in one of its hips and it slows its movements, now dragging its right leg behind it as it keeps making its way towards us.

"Nice shot, now for the other leg." 

I give him an encouraging smile when he looks at me. He nods and pulls another arrow from the quiver on his back.

Everyone else is silent as we watch Ignatz fire a second arrow. It barely misses. 

"Don't lose focus, Ignatz, you got this." Hilda tells him. She already has her short axe in her hand too, ready to throw it if she has to.

He takes a deep breath and prepares to launch another arrow.

The infected is finally close enough for me to take a good look at it. Its skin is extremely pale, almost a blue color. Likely because it's been dead for a while.  
But that isn't the most disturbing. There's a number of veins popping out of its forehead, covering almost half of its face.  
And then there's the eyes. They're rolled into its skull so far that they're completely white, lacking an iris and pupil.

It almost seems to have a wide smile on its face, or maybe it's a grimace, but it's creepy either way.

Ignatz' arrow hits it in its left thigh, causing the infected to fall forward onto the ground and lose its grip on the sword it was holding. 

Thank god, if it had come any closer, shooting arrows would have been ineffective and we would've needed to attack it with closer range weapons. That would ultimately be much more dangerous for us, seeing it had a weapon, so I'm glad. 

"Now to immobilize it completely, we need to detach its head off its body, or at least sever the connection from its neck to the spine." 

It's not like I want them to do all the work, but I can't have them hesitate when it comes down to killing anything. 

Right now, this infected is completely harmless, seeing it can't use its legs anymore. It's still using its arms to drag itself closer to us, though. But even so, we're not in any danger anymore, so it'll be good for experience.

"Anyone want to volunteer?" I ask.

I know this is probably hard for all of them. I doubt anyone actually expected to run into any danger here, so this is quite the wake up call. 

I'm honestly incredibly proud that Ignatz dared to shoot it. I'll make sure to tell him later.

No one speaks up, instead looking at one another nervously, waiting for someone else to act.

"Guess I'll take care of this one, then. Just know that next one might not be so easy to take down." 

I head towards the grunting infected myself and take the sword it dropped before stabbing it through the base of the infecteds spinal cord in the neck.

It doesn't even make a sound as it dies for the second time.

"Sorry, friend. May you rest in peace now." I tell the lifeless body below me. 

The infected has stopped moving completely, giving me the reassurance that it is indeed dead now. It smells terribly.

I turn back to my Deer and they're all looking at me with wide eyes. Not surprising.

"Listen," I say as I take the few steps back towards them, "this one right here was already dead. Remember when I told you about those who turn right after they're killed?" 

I see recognition in their eyes, so I continue.

"This was likely one of those, so before you view me as a murderer, I only ended its suffering. I didn't actually take its life." 

They're all still enveloped in an uncomfortable silence. I know I can't change it, so I'll let them revel in their own thoughts for a bit. This was a lot to take in, after all.

"That… that sword." Lysithea is the first to speak up. "It's from the monastery, isn't it?" 

I actually hadn't taken a close look at the sword yet, but she's right. It has the GM engraving on the hilt, indicating it's from the blacksmith of the Garreg Mach monastery.

"Then does that mean… the blood, was it from…" Hilda fidgets with the handle of her axe.

"Then that scream we heard earlier…" Even Lorenz is shaken.

I don't want to confirm it, but it was likely one of the Blue Lions. This particular infected is probably also the one Marianne spotted when we were out in the forest earlier.

"Look, they have a healer with them. If the person who was attacked could still scream, it means it wasn't a fatal attack. They're fine." 

God, I hope they are.

They're all still tense. I sigh.

"Listen, we only did what we had to. If we're going to feel down every time we save our own lives, get ready to be depressed. It's kill or be killed out here. If we hadn't taken this one down, who knows what it might have done to us. We can only be happy that none of us got hurt." 

"But one of the Blue Lions…" Hilda tries again.

"I know, Hilda. I sincerely hope they're fine too. But we can't focus on them, when we aren't exactly safe either. They had the same amount of time to prepare for this as we did, they should have had to be ready."

But then one thought occurs to me. I never warned Dimitri for what was out here. I never told him the things I know, he's not prepared for this at all. Why didn't I tell him? 

An extreme wave of guilt washes over me. How could I keep this information from him? What was I thinking?! Shit, he's in some serious trouble, he and the rest of his group as well.

And Edelgard. Dimitri would have told her if I had told him, but I never did. Maybe that Linhardt guy had some information. Dimitri said she recruited him, right? 

"Claude, you okay? You look troubled." Raphael's loud voice brings me back to reality.

"Yeah, sorry." 

I run a hand through my hair. Can I tell them my thoughts? Are they not going to think that I'm holding back information from them as well? I mean, now that I think about it, I am. I never told them about my past. It's probably time to tell them, though. They deserve to know already.

"I actually have some things to confess to all of you. Let's finish setting up camp and then I'll tell you a bit more about my history." 

"What makes you think we care about your history, Claude? If we have nothing else to do, I'd much rather indulge in my novel." 

Of course, it's Lorenz who protests again.

"Fine, then don't listen. It's not like it matters if you do or not." Lysithea sticks out her tongue at him.

Lorenz is having an internal struggle, likely between admitting that he's curious about me and wanting to be stubborn and still read his novel.

"I know I'm curious! I've always wondered where you were from, you just appeared right outta nowhere!" Raphael shouts.

"Now that you mention it," Leonie starts, "he really did just appear out of thin air. Just like that!" 

Everyone starts sharing their memory of when they first saw me and it honestly surprises me that they remember at all. I guess it was silly of me to think that they wouldn't notice me walking around the monastery suddenly.

A fond smile unconsciously makes its way onto my face at hearing them talk.

"We once had archery together and I suddenly noticed I didn't have any arrows anymore. Turned out he snatched every single one of them because he didn't want to gather them from the targets!" Ignatz says with a laugh.

Lysithea seems to cringe when she recalls her memory. "I saw him in the library one evening, and it was the first time I'd ever seen him before. It was so dark and it was just the two of us in there. He looked me straight in the eye and asked if I could really see him. I thought he was a ghost! It scared me so bad, I didn't dare go there after six p.m. anymore."

"He just randomly whispered in my ear that I'd get fat if I kept slacking. So rude." Hilda whines, but still smiles at the memory.

Everyone laughs out loud and I'm reminded by how much of a brat I was when I was younger.

It's weird, but I remember every single one of these times, even though it was so long ago. 

"Let's save the stories for when we're finished. There's not much more to do, but I'd like to have camp ready before we rest." 

They all verbally give their agreements and start working on the finishing touches. They put their weapons where they can easily reach them and lay out their sleeping bags inside their tents. I still have to finish setting up my own tent, so I do just that.

It keeps me busy, until something catches my eye.

"Lorenz, if you have nothing better to do than read, please keep watch." I tell him because he started reading his novel again.

He pretends he doesn't hear me and keeps reading.

This is really starting to get annoying. But okay, if he thinks he can ignore me, he's got another thing coming. 

"Alright, have it your way. Leonie, can you stand on guard?" 

"On it!"

"Isn't it time to eat yet?" Raphael asks. 

Ignatz looks at the stance of the sun. "The sun's up really high. I think it's almost noon." 

"Yeah! Time for lunch!" 

Raphael takes his bag out of his tent and starts handing out cans with food to everyone. Of course he packed enough food for twenty people.  
When he's about to hand one to Lorenz, I make a sign to Raphael that he shouldn't give Lorenz anything. He looks confused, but doesn't ask anything.

This catches Lorenz' attention, though.

"Raphael..?" He holds out his hand.

Raphael looks at me for permission, but I deny it. 

"Sorry, boss won't let me." He shrugs apologetically.

Hilda giggles. "Serves you right, you lazy bum. I can't believe people call me a slacker." She says to Lorenz while taking the can Raphael is handing her.

Lorenz looks indignant.

"Excuse me? A slacker, me? How dare you! I'll have you know, I just used up a lot of energy casting the spells I did in order to save all of you. And this is how you repay me?" He turns to look at me.

I shrug in response.

"I thought you were well-rested enough to cast your magic. And it's not like you were that useful, maybe you ought to listen to Claude for once." Leonie lectures him.

Lorenz doesn't answer her.

"I'm finished, so I'll take over for you, Leonie." 

"Oh, thanks Lysithea!" Leonie sits down and starts eating along with the rest.

"Claude, I'm hungry too. You can't actually refuse to let me eat." Lorenz tells me.

I open my own can as well and start eating, ignoring Lorenz completely. Two can play this game.

"Ignatz, I just wanted to say that you were really brave back there. I'm proud of you." I give him a pat on the shoulder. 

He looks surprised, but then everyone else agrees with me and starts giving their compliments to Ignatz, making him blush.

"So, Claude, are you going to tell us your history now or how long do you plan to make us wait?" Lysithea demands while crossing her arms in front of her chest.

I wipe my mouth and make sure I swallow my food before I start talking.

"Right, right. You need to understand that my memory is really blurry so I don't have much to go on, but I'll tell you as much as I can remember." 

Alright, here goes. It's time I finally come clean. Everyone looks at me expectantly, even Lorenz stopped complaining in favor of listening to me.

"I'll start at the beginning. My earliest memory has got to be from when I was around seven years old. I was living with both my parents in a foreign country, far away from Fódlan. It was hot there, and really dry. But we were happy.  
Then a lot of things happened, my father left and never came back, my mother and I left the country to flee and eventually ended up here, in Fódlan.  
Obviously, Fódlan is a disaster, but my mother didn't know. We found out soon enough though."

"Wait, you came from outside Fódlan? You actually came from outside the walls?" 

Lysithea's eyes are huge in surprise, but she seems to believe me. I nod at her. The others stay quiet for now.

I take a shuddering breath, bracing myself for the terrible memories I'm about to recall.

"We met up with a big group of other women with their children. No men. We travelled together and it wasn't long until we saw the first infected.  
One of the women, she was leading us, called out to it for help. It immediately attacked her when it saw her, tearing out her throat with its teeth. It was terrifying. I'll never forget the sight of it.  
Of course, soon after that, the woman turned infected as well. She didn't have a weapon, so instead she just slammed her head into one of the other women. She kept headbutting her until both their skulls were completely smashed, their brains actually came out."

I see the images in front of me again and it takes all of my effort not to throw up the food I just ate.

"You don't have to continue…" Ignatz speaks to me. "You look pale." 

I take a deep breath and take the flask with water Hilda is handing me.

"No, it's okay. You all deserve to know the truth of who I am.  
Anyways, that incident caused our group to split up. Some tried to help the turning women, the group my mom and I travelled with from then continued on.  
I don't exactly remember how long we roamed around, but it was really long. We avoided the infected as much as we could, but of course death was inevitable.  
Even my mother didn't make it." 

I hear gasps, but I don't know who it came from. I'm focused on the patch of grass in between my feet.

"She was stabbed with a knife and she knew she didn't have long before she'd turn as well. She knew she would, so she gave me the dagger she carried together with her last words;  
"Your own life is more important than anyone else's, don't ever trust anybody but you, and always sleep with one eye open."  
Those are the words she said before she threw herself off a cliff, making sure she wouldn't be the one to murder her own child.  
I refused to come along with our group after that, so they left me behind. I was too busy grieving to care."

My voice broke because of the lump that formed in my throat, but I can't find it in me to care. I need to tell them, even if it's just to get it all off my shoulders.

"I travelled by myself after I'd recovered enough. I don't know how I managed to stay alive, but after so many weeks, months of struggling, one of Rhea's knights saw me. Of course, I was terrified of him. My mother told me not to trust anyone, after all.  
But he was different from the infected. He didn't charge at me, instead waited for me to move. That's how I realized that he wasn't one of them and I cried out to him, making sure he knew I was normal too. The infected didn't make much sound.  
He immediately brought me into the safe walls of the monastery, cleaned me up and fed me.  
We went to see Rhea after that. She offered me a room and place to live, and I was thankful. But no matter how much I begged her, she refused to send out knights to look for the group of women that left me behind. She also told me it was strictly forbidden to talk about the things I saw outside, or else Seteth would punish me.  
I didn't care for any of that, though. I wanted to see the women again, wanted them to be safe as well, so I went to the knights themselves and asked them.  
They always turned me in with Seteth, and he'd always beat me for disobeying the rule Rhea had made for me.  
At least I understood now why I couldn't trust anyone.  
I spent my time sneaking around the monastery, trying to find out why exactly no one would help me. I read books, asked around, but I found out nothing this way.  
Only Rhea and Seteth seemed to have the answers I was looking for, but they simply refused to talk to me. This is mainly the reason why I can't bring myself to respect either of them.  
Seteth beat me for every single reason he could find, and Rhea kept turning a blind eye. I felt like a prisoner in there.  
No one cared about me, or cared for me. I missed my mother more than anything and I desperately wanted to go back to the time I had her arms around me, even if we were constantly fighting for our lives."

I take another sip of water, my throat feels dry from all the talking. It's definitely not because I'm getting emotional or anything.

"Seteth had decided that I was more trouble than I was worth, so he took the last bit of my freedom away. He put me under supervision from one of the nobles who was in charge of the farmers. I ended up having to work the ground along with them. It was hard, especially because I was only about ten years old by then, but I managed.  
I was allowed to join the academy when I was fourteen because I had shown the noble that I could behave if I put my mind to it.  
However, as soon as I enrolled, I went back to sneaking around and breaking the rule Rhea had given me.  
By this time, I already had a bad reputation and people despised me, called me a rat amongst other things.  
No one believed me anymore when I tried to tell them the truth about outside, so I stopped bothering. Rhea's power was too great for me to even try to oppose.  
So I lived my life at the monastery by myself, relying on myself, trusting only myself. I stopped caring about other people, because they didn't care about me either.  
It wasn't easy, but I was safe, and eventually that's what's important.  
And that's pretty much it. Sorry for lying to you guys." 

I take another much needed sip of water.

Everyone's just staring at me.

"You must have been so lonely…" Marianne speaks up. She's been quiet for hours.

"I wish I'd known, I would have been your friend." Raphael smiles, but it's sad. I don't like seeing it.

The rest agrees with Raphael.

Hilda crawls over to me to give me a hug and I never knew how much I needed one until now. I hold on to her tight, preventing her from letting go of me, even if she wanted to.

I feel another pair of arms closing around me, Lysithea's apparently, seeing the white hair color.

"I'm sorry" she says, but I don't know why.

More arms are closing around my body and more bodies are pressing up against mine, enveloping me in a warmth I've had to miss for so long.

I don't even realize I'm crying until I see wet drops falling on my boots.

"Thank you," I whisper. "Thank you guys so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's that
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little shorter, but work has been keeping me busy :( 
> 
> Sorry for the late update, hope you still enjoy :)

We sit there, huddled against each other for a solid five minutes before the first person breaks away from the embrace. 

"I'll keep standing guard, I don't like the thought of any of those things coming near us unexpectedly." 

I turn my head to look up at Raphael, instead seeing the mass of bodies cuddled together. It makes me laugh.

"Yes, that's fine Raph. Thanks." I answer him and he smiles back at me.

One by one, the others pull away as well. I miss the warmth already, but I know we can't stay like that forever. Despite how much I'd like that.

"Are you okay, Claude?" Hilda asks. 

She looks worried for some reason. Maybe the tears? I wipe them off my face before answering.

"Yeah, I'm actually glad I finally told anyone. It's pretty suffocating, having so much valuable information that I'm not allowed to share." 

She nods in understanding.

"Can I ask a question as well?" Ignatz looks at me, but there's uncertainty in his eyes.

"Of course you can." 

"Well I was just wondering… Why would Lady Rhea want to hide that? I-it seems to me that everyone would be better off knowing…" 

"Yeah, I was wondering that! The medics and doctors could actually look into finding a cure if they knew." Lysithea interrupts.

"Who knows? I've never been given a reason as to why I wasn't allowed to say anything, but I always thought it had to do with preventing a panic among the people."

Ignatz nods in understanding, but Lysithea seems to be deep in thought, pondering my answer. I wish I knew more about this, too.

"And what about your neck?" Lysithea suddenly asks.

My hand involuntarily touches the sore spot on my throat Seteth had wrapped his hand around. 

"You know, since you're sharing information anyways." She's wearing a smile, but it's overly sweet. It gives me chills.

Hilda and Ignatz both look at my neck now, shock evident on their faces.

Might as well tell them, since I'm sharing information anyways. The voice in my head mocks Lysithea's tone of voice.

"Well, during the meeting I had with Seteth and Rhea after dinner yesterday, I said something that pissed Seteth off. So yeah, this" I point at my throat.

"Seteth did that?!" Ignatz' eyes have never been so big. Poor innocent soul.

"Well, he did say Seteth beat him for talking about outside." Hilda mutters.

"I-I could heal that for you… And any other injuries you have." I didn't even notice Marianne had been listening as well.

Does that sound good, though. I've been trying not to mind the throbbing pain of my head and ribs this whole time. If she could heal that too… That would just be perfect.

"That would just be perfect. Thank you." I give her a broad smile. She gives me a small one in return.

"Uhm, please lift your head a little… So I can reach the sore spots on your neck." She sits a little closer to me.

Just the idea of lifting my head makes me wince in pain.

"Actually, there's a sore spot on the back of my head too. Can you maybe fix that first?" 

She nods in reply, closing her eyes to focus on casting a simple healing spell.

One of her hands gently touch the back of my head, slowly spreading a soothing warmth through me. I can feel the throbbing pain ebbing away quickly.

I can't help but moan at the feeling. "Oh, god, that feels amazing…" 

Marianne yelps in surprise and quickly retracts her hand from my head, blushing lightly.

Hilda bursts out in laughter.

"Oh my god, Claude. Do you need to make such an obscene sound?" Lysithea scolds, only spurring on Hilda's laughter. She's wheezing at this point and it makes me laugh too.

"Sorry Marianne. Please continue your ministrations." I try not to laugh as I say it, but Hilda's loud giggles are contagious.

"Uhm… I-I'll take care of your throat now…" 

Her hand slowly makes its way towards my neck, and I know what to expect, but I find it extremely difficult to let her near that area. My heartbeat quickens rapidly at the idea of her touching me there. 

I gently take her hand, preventing it from making contact with my throat. She looks confused, but doesn't make eye contact with me.

"Sorry, can you maybe heal my ribs and chest first? They took a pretty hard blow as well." 

I don't want to feel this way towards Marianne, but I'm sure I'll get some kind of panic attack if anyone were to lay their hand on my neck again. Since I don't know how exactly I'll react, it's better she doesn't heal me there. I don't want to risk hurting Marianne on impulse.

She nods at me again, "where are you hurting?" 

I slowly roll up my shirt and a dark bruise around my stomach comes to vision.  
Shit, that looks terrible.  
I move my shirt up even higher and the bruise on the middle of my ribcage is somehow even worse.

"Around here somewhere." I tell her with a lopsided grin, but she doesn't seem to see any humor in this.

Understandable, really. 

"You've been hiding that this whole time?" Hilda asks incredulously. 

"Why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have let you go into that forest if I'd known." Lysithea looks angry, but I hope she's not.

"I didn't know it was this bad, sorry."

I actually feel bad for not saying anything. Things could have gone a lot differently for us all if Ignatz hadn't shot the infected and I would've had to do it instead.

Marianne tries to reach out to my bruises, but halts right before she makes contact with my painful skin. This time she silently asks for permission with her eyes before she advances.

I nod at her and her hand touches the bruise on my stomach first. The feeling of her cold skin against my warm stomach, followed by the warmth of her magic causes goosebumps to form on my skin.

"S-sorry, my hands are cold…" She mutters.

"It's fine," I tell her, "your magic is already making me warm again." 

Hilda bursts out in another fit of laughter and it takes me a second too long to realize what I just said.

"Are you just going to keep making sexual innuendos at Marianne?" Hilda wheezes.

Lysithea blinks at her, then turns to me with an accusing look.

"Are you serious right now? Don't think I didn't see you two heading off towards Mariannes room together last week."

Hilda laughs even louder, causing a pink blush to form again on Marianne's otherwise pale cheeks.

"Wait, that's not what happened." And here I thought she was innocent and pure. "I just walked her to her room, I went to the library with Dimitri after." 

"Oh, Dimitri then, huh?" Hilda suggestively wiggles her eyebrows at me.

I don't know why she's doing that, though, so I wiggle mine back.

"Yes, with Dimitri." 

Hilda goes quiet after that and Lysithea stares at me with her mouth open. Marianne is just focusing on healing my chest.

I ignore their pointed stares in favor of thanking Marianne for her help.

Damn, that feels so much better.

"Are you sure about your throat?" She asks me.

I nod. She nods back.

Hilda and Lysithea have started whispering and giggling with each other, so I'll leave them to do just that. 

I stand up and stretch my arms above my head. Wow, that feels so much better without the aches.

Everyone is talking to each other in a relaxed atmosphere, so I decide to keep watch for now. 

.

The time passes rather quickly and thankfully, there hasn't been another scream or infected since the last one. The sun is starting to set and there's probably no better timing to start a fire than right now. I need to make sure we won't be stuck in complete darkness.

Marianne is currently standing on guard, so there's no need for me to worry about that as I move around camp freely to get to my bag.

I take out the small bottle with inflammable oil and the flintstones I packed.

"What's that?" Leonie's voice sounds behind me.

"Flintstones," I answer, "to make a fire." 

"Not that, I know what flintstones are." 

I'm not looking at her but I'm almost certain that she just rolled her eyes at me.

She continues, "I mean the bottle. What's in it?"

"Ah." I say before I toss it over to her. 

She barely catches it and takes a look at the substance. She then looks back to me with an eyebrow raised in question.

"It's inflammable oil," I elaborate before getting it back from her. "It makes it easier to get a fire burning." 

I make my way over to the pit we built for our fire, right in the middle of the tents. After rearranging the rocks that circle it, I sprinkle a small amount of oil over the branches. I make sure to wipe my hands clean before I start beating the flintstones against each other.

"And you really think that a small amount of your silly oil is going to get a fire started? You should have already started making that fire when the sun was still high up in the sky." Lorenz tells me from where he's sitting in front of his tent.

I've been successfully ignoring Lorenz for the rest of the afternoon, but this is really not going to work out.

"And who was stopping you from doing that? All you've been doing is just read in your book. I'm sure you could have spared a few minutes to do something useful for once." I bite back.

"I'm not the leader, I shouldn't have to be burdened with such tasks." He simply says.

Everyone else stays quiet during our exchange of words.

"So, because I'm the leader, I have to make sure we're all ready and prepare everything for what's to come?" I ask him. Surely he can hear how ridiculous it sounds.

"Yes, exactly." Or not.

"Yeah, see that's where you're wrong. I am indeed responsible of making sure that everything is prepared. And that's why each of us have our own task. I am the leader, not the slave. That means that I delegate your tasks, and you follow the orders I give you. Not that I'm doing everything that needs to be done. I'm sure you understand that as well, because otherwise you wouldn't have asked to take over leadership from me." 

Boy, am I done with this guy already.

"Alright, since you seem so keen on treating the rest of us as your slaves, I suggest again that maybe I should take over leadership from you. We'll let the others decide who they want." 

He's wearing a cocky smile and I'm honestly a little bit worried about what the others are going to choose.

"I personally would never accept someone as sneaky as you as my leader. You have already lied to us and who knows what secrets you're still keeping. I don't trust you one bit, Claude. But you already knew that, didn't you?" He's actually going in for the kill.

"Guys, can we stop this? You're being ridiculous." I silently thank Leonie for trying to calm things, but I know Lorenz is not going to relent on this.

"Please choose who you want as your leader. Me, or Claude. The one with most votes will be the leader from now on."

"Claude is fine as our leader, Lorenz. Knock it off!" At least I have Lysithea on my side.

"Actually, if Lorenz really thinks that the leader should do all the work himself, I'd rather have Lorenz. Sorry Claude." But of course that's what Hilda says. 

I really don't want to follow Lorenz. He's going to be the end of us, I'm sure. But the way things are going now, I'm not so sure about my position anymore when I hear Lorenz' name fall from the Deer's lips a few more times than my own as they're discussing who to choose.

Well, fuck me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More dialogue, but it's important dialogue
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

"I don't think this is a good idea, you guys." Ignatz tries, but Lorenz shakes his head at him.

"Look around you, Ignatz. All this we've built here? It was all our hard work that created this. Claude didn't even make his hands dirty when that… that dead thing crept up on us. And he actually made Marianne pick up the fire wood. Must I go on? He has just been treating us as if we're his slaves." 

"He wouldn't allow Lorenz to eat anything either. Sorry, but that's just cruel." Raphael's shoulders slump as he says it.

"Right, that as well. I suggest we start voting." Lorenz looks me straight in the eyes and actually has the audacity to smirk at me.

"No wait, you got it wrong. I didn't make Marianne do anything and it wasn't like-" 

"Vote, now." Lorenz interrupts me like I wasn't even talking.

"Sorry, but I have to vote for Lorenz," Hilda says. "I can't stand the thought of doing even more work right now." 

Not unexpected, but at least it's not personal.

"Refusing someone from having lunch is really not cool, sorry Claude. My vote is for Lorenz as well." 

Raphael does have a point, but I'm pretty sure Lorenz brought his own rations. I don't get why it's a problem that he had to eat his own. But I guess everyone's entitled to their own opinions, though.

I nod at him. That's two of the six votes against me already. I don't like this at all. If Lorenz actually had an idea of how to lead us, I wouldn't even mind it that much. But he thinks that just because his dad is some great noble, he's entitled to being the leader and that just doesn't sit right with me.

"Just the fact that Lorenz is trying to mess up the order in our group is enough for me to pick Claude." Lysithea decides. 

"I-I would much rather stick with Claude as well." Ignatz looks at Raphael with a sad look. He did mention they're close friends before and I actually feel bad about this.

That leaves Marianne and Leonie. 

"Actually, thinking back on how things went in the forest, I don't think Claude is suited to be a leader. You got angry with me for no reason, a good leader doesn't yell at his people." Leonie shrugs. 

Well, yes, but this is literally the first time I'm leading a group. I just can't catch a break here.

I hate how powerless I am right now. I can't actually force anyone to listen to my orders, so all I can do is let them decide for themselves and hope for the best.

"Alright, that leaves just Marianne. Might I say, you're really an exceptional teacher and I thoroughly enjoyed learning healing spells from you." Lorenz smiles at her. 

I'm not going to try to convince her to pick me with any sweet words. If she thinks Lorenz would be a better leader, she'll pick Lorenz anyways. 

"Uhm, I would…" She falls silent again. 

I noticed she only seems to do that whenever there's more than a few people paying attention to her. She looks at me and I nod for her to continue.

"I would like to keep following Claude… if that's okay." 

I'm so relieved right now. That means it's three votes for each of us. 

"Oh, I see. I'm afraid that leaves us with an even amount of votes. Would anyone like to change their pick?" Lorenz gazes at the three that picked me with a hopeful look.

"Not me, I won't." Lysithea leaves no room for negotiations.

Ignatz hesitates, but still shakes his head. Marianne doesn't even show any reaction.

Having said that, the three that picked Lorenz don't seem to want to change their pick either.

"So… what now?" Leonie is the one to break the tense silence that formed around us.

"I refuse to return leadership to Claude." Lorenz sounds resolute.

"You never even got it from me." I tell him. My voice is surprisingly calm, given how anxious I'm feeling right now.

He glares at me before he speaks up. "Fair enough. I will take charge of the ones that want to follow me." 

What? 

"Are you joking? That is ridiculous, two captains on a ship is never going to work. We'll only start fighting and that's the last thing we need out here." 

"Alright, then we will sail with our own ship." He raises an eyebrow at me, daring me to protest.

"Can we please move closer to the river then? I want to wash my hair tomorrow." Hilda asks Lorenz sweetly.

"That's a great idea, Hilda. Claude refused to listen to you, so I will. Let's gather our things and move." Lorenz stands up from his sitting position on the grass and dusts off his clothes.

"Oh, can you grab my things then, mister Leader man? I'm so tired already." 

Lorenz looks like he's about to protest.

"You promised" she whines.

But he has no choice but to cooperate with her.

"Good for him." Lysithea whispers to me.

I don't even know what to say right now. I literally can't believe what's happening. They really want to split up? Are they insane? Why isn't Raphael or Leonie protesting? 

They're just casually picking up their things and putting them back in their bags.

"Guys, there's really no need to move away immediately. It's already pretty late, the sun's setting. Why don't you just wait until night's over and pack your stuff in the morning?" 

No one actually replies to me, following Lorenz' example of ignoring me. Just great.

"G-guys? Did you hear what Claude said?" Ignatz tries.

"Yes, I heard, but I have no reason to follow him. I'm leading my own group now, and we're heading to the river. Right now." Lorenz gestures at his little group to follow him.

And they actually do. Are they really this stupid, or are they just being stubborn to prove their point?

It's at least a fifteen minute walk to the river, there will be barely any light left for them to unpack and set up camp once they get there. Not to forget about gathering firewood and making a fire. 

"Just… Fine, don't listen to me, but please think this through. It's going to be dark soon." I'm almost pleading at this point.

Lorenz stops doing what he's doing and pretends to think, even dramatically putting his hand to his chin and looking up. 

"Hmm…" He pauses. "Off to the river, we go." 

The others nod and continue on their way, Raphael being the one to carry Hilda's bag. 

"Wow." 

I know Ignatz, I know.

I don't think before I take one of the logs I had piled in the firepit. 

"Does one of you know how to start a fire with this?" I hold up the flintstones.

"I've never done it before, but I think I know how it works." Ignatz says, reaching for the stones.

I hand them to him before I take one of the rags I packed to sprinkle some oil over it before I start wrapping it around the small log I had taken earlier.

"Uhm, what are you doing?" Lysithea looks at me.

"I'm going after them, obviously. They're going to need light if they want to set up a camp. Unless they can get there and do that in less than ten minutes." 

Ignatz is struggling with the stones, so I take over for him. It takes a certain technique to rub the stones exactly right to create a big enough spark that will set the wood aflame.

It only takes me about seven tries before a bit of oil catches fire.

"Just blow on it lightly, it should spread the fire to the rest of the branches." I tell Ignatz before I start trying to get my torch lit up as well.

The sunlight is fading at a quick pace now, much sooner than expected and I'm already struggling to see our surroundings clearly.

Good thing Hilda's hair is bright enough to see properly.

The fire behind me is starting to burn quite brightly and I feel the warmth coming off of it against my legs. I wonder if it'll attract any infected that roam around. 

Should I really go after them? I don't like the idea of leaving Lysithea, Marianne and Ignatz on their own. We only have two bows and two swords to fight with, after all. 

But I'm definitely not sending someone else after them either. Shit, what do I do? 

As if she can hear my thoughts, Lysithea answers me.

"Just let them be. They've decided to be stupid, they'll find out the consequences of it soon enough." 

I know she's right, but that doesn't sit well with me at all. I sigh. This should not have happened. Was I really that terrible? 

Instead of deciding of what I should do, I'm just standing here, watching them go. 

Maybe Lysithea is right, maybe I should just let them make this mistake. They can see our fire from there, so if they need to, they can find us.

"Maybe you should put out your torch before it becomes useless if you're just going to stand there." 

Lysithea is right, once again, and I do as she says when she hands me her bottle with water. 

"I'm happy we have some light from the monastery as well. It makes this place a lot less scary." Ignatz laughs nervously. 

True that. I verbally agree with him.

"Uhm… Please don't be upset, Claude." 

Marianne seems to hesitate about elaborating on what more is on her mind.  
She decides to continue on her own. I'm proud.

"During our time at the library, Lorenz was already… He had already asked whether I was okay with following you… And he kept talking bad about you…" She stops there, but it tells me what I need to know.

"So he was already planning on pulling something like this." 

She nods.

So he never even gave me a chance. Well, not like I was expecting it from him, he's been giving me a hard time since day one.

"That's fine. I wasn't expecting you all to trust me easily anyway. If anything, I'm really glad I have you three at least." 

"I'm glad I don't have to follow Lorenz."  
Lysithea lets out a deep breath of relief.

It makes Ignatz and me laugh.

"I-I'll keep watch." Marianne stands up abruptly. 

Right, this is going to be tricky. Especially when we're going to sleep. I'm guessing a routine of one hour watch, three hours of sleep will have to do.

"Alright, thanks Marianne." 

We all take out a new can of food from our bags and start having dinner. I can't help but look behind me at the other half of our group.

They haven't made it to the river yet and it's getting really dark, the stars are out already. I can hear Hilda whine from where I'm sitting.

"Maybe they'll come back tomorrow." Ignatz sounds hopeful.

"Yeah, maybe." 

.

Ignatz wakes me up from the short nap I was having. 

"Claude, sorry, but it's time for your shift." He whispers.

"Yeah, of course. I'll be out in a second." 

I rub the sleep from my eyes before I crawl out of my tent and make my way to our watching spot. It's a pretty big rock we can sit on that gives us a good view of the area in front of us.

"I'll be sleeping, then." Ignatz says before I nod at him in approval. He crawls back into his tent.

The light of the fire reaches about three meters around our small camp. It's not much, but at least the sky is clear tonight. The moon illuminates the area further, allowing me to see the river. At least I can keep sort of an eye on the others.

It doesn't look like they've made a fire, but at least their tents are standing. They don't actually need a fire to keep them warm, though. It's only early spring, but the night has a pleasant temperature. The wind blows through my hair softly.

It's been calm after the one infected we've seen this morning and I hope to god that it stays that way. 

My mind wanders to all the things that happened recently.

Rhea and Seteth, trying desperately to get us out here. Is it really to find a food source, though? I'm not sure about their intentions, but I doubt they'll ever tell someone like me.  
Maybe they told someone else, but I have no idea who that could be.

And Dimitri... I wonder if he's doing okay. That scream was that of a male, no doubt. But it didn't sound like Dimitri's voice. I don't know why I'm relieved about that, but I am.  
My eyes glance over to where the trees that form the edge of the forest are standing tall in the darkness. I can't see any more than that, not even any smoke from a fire they might have started.

And Edelgard's group. I don't quite know what to make of her personally, but I hope they haven't gotten in any trouble. Despite her attitude, I still wouldn't wish anything bad on her.  
And that Linhardt guy, what kind of information did he have? I don't know who he is, or else I could've talked to him before. 

I'll ask Ignatz or Lysithea about it tomorrow.

Speaking of Lysithea, I've been hearing groans and grunts coming from her tent. A nightmare maybe? I'm not sure if I should wake her, she's the one who's keeping watch after me. I'd like her to get as much rest as possible.

I look behind me to the watchtowers on the walls of the monastery, but there's no one in there. Weird, someone should be keeping watch at all times. 

How stupid of me, I hadn't paid attention to it throughout the day.

Maybe they saw us putting up our tents here and decided that we'll be keeping an eye out around this area.

Or maybe they just don't care about us.

The noises coming from Lysithea's tent are becoming louder. Maybe I'll wake her up after all. She probably can't get a good rest when she's struggling like this either.

I open her tent and crawl inside. Her small body is twisting into some weird positions and her face is scrunched up as if she's in pain. I shake her softly to wake her up.

"Hey, you okay?" 

She groans a bit more, but then opens her eyes carefully.

"Claude..? Is it my turn yet?" 

"No, not yet" I answer her. "You were having a nightmare, so I figured I'd wake you. You still have some sleeping time left." 

She rubs her eyes and yawns. How cute.

"How weird, I don't even remember having a nightmare… Although, I probably know what it was about anyways." She yawns again.

"You have nightmares often?" I ask, because I'd like to know if it's because of the infected.

"Yes, almost every night. Actually… Can I talk to you about them?" She looks away, like she's scared I'll refuse.

"Yeah, of course. But I'm still on guarding duty, so you'll have to come outside with me." 

She smiles. "Alright, get out of my tent then. I'll be out in a bit." 

I smile back before I do as she told me.

True to her claim, Lysithea makes it out of her tent right after I sit back down on the rock. I hold out my hand to her, pulling her up the rock to sit next to me.

"So, how can I help you, little one?" 

She slaps my arm at the nickname. It doesn't hurt of course, but I pretend it does. She looks at me smugly before her face turns serious.

"It's about my nightmares. I've never told anyone about them before, but I figured since you told us about your past..." 

She looks away from me, instead gazing out towards the distance before she continues.

"I've had them for a very long time, ever since I can remember. It used to terrify me, but now I'm so used to them, that it doesn't even faze me anymore. It's always the same one too." 

She just stops talking and seems to be deep in thought about something. I don't want to discourage her, so I'm keeping quiet until she's ready to tell me the rest.

She takes a deep breath.

"It starts with a young me lying tied up to a bed. I can't move my arms, legs or head even. Around me, I can hear the screams of other children, crying out in fear or pain." 

I take hold of one of her hands, to show I'm listening and for a bit of mental support. She squeezes mine in return.

"While I'm lying on the bed, a person wearing a mask heads towards me and asks if I'm ready. I don't really know what I'm supposed to be ready for, but I can't actually give any answer at all because it's then that I notice there's a gag in my mouth.  
All I do know is that this person is the cause of the children's screams. Then, for a moment, there's nothing but the person standing besides my bed.  
While he starts muttering some words that don't make sense to me, my whole body trembles in fear, as if I already know what's coming. I do, of course, the dream never changes. But inside that dream, I never seem to remember what he's going to do. It's not like knowing would change anything anyways. There's a flash of a dark purple color before a hellish pain courses through my body, causing me to scream out in pain as well. It feels like my body is being destroyed from the inside out. All my organs ache and I try to move away from the man with everything I am, causing the binds to cut into my skin. Tears wet my face as the pain seems to be going on forever. It's unbearable. I pass out after that and that always seems to be my que to wake up." 

She sniffles and rubs the hand I'm not holding under her nose. Lysithea crying is definitely not a sight I would have wanted to see, ever. 

I let go of her hand to wrap my arm around her shoulders to pull her closer to me, like a half-hug of some sorts. She lets me and rests her head on my shoulder. Another sniffle.

Damn, her body is really small. It feels like I'll break her if I squeeze a bit too hard.

I have a few questions for her, mostly about why she thinks she would actually have a dream like that, but I swallow down all of them when I notice a faint scar on both her wrists. My heartbeat picks up.

What if she's not dreaming, but reliving her forgotten memories every night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this one is kind of a filler
> 
> Hope you still enjoy, though :)

The scars on her wrists are nearly identical to each other. There has to be a logical reason for that, there's no way that they're from the binds from her dream, right? 

But how do I ask someone about scars on their wrists?

I decide that I won't, not right now anyways. She already told me this much, I'm not about to push anything. 

Instead, I just pull her closer to me and gently rub her upper arm. Her body shocks gently from her sniffles, but the crying stopped. 

"Hey, you okay?" I ask. 

"...yeah, yeah I'm fine. Thank you for listening." 

She pulls away from the embrace and wipes her hand under her nose once more.

"So, the dream is never different? Always exactly the same?"

I'd like to know if there are other things that happen in her dream, just in case they might be memories after all.

"Uhm… I don't think there's anything that ever changes. Why?" 

I'm just going to avoid answering that question for now.

"And how long do you think you've been having that dream?" 

She narrows her eyes at me in suspicion. I refuse to look away from her gaze, though. 

"Like I said, ever since I can remember. They started years ago, when I was still a little child. Why do you ask?" 

She's not going to let this go, I'm sure of it. I guess I could hint a little at it, since she's asking anyway.

"I was just thinking, maybe something happened to you when you were younger. Perhaps your dreams are a way of coping with the trauma?" 

She looks at me with big surprised eyes, but then she turns angry.

"Why would anything have happened to me? I grew up within the walls of the monastery, I've been safe all my life. I've always made sure to behave well and get good grades. Don't think I'm the same as you, Claude. People have no reason to inflict any harm on me." 

Ouch, that stings. But looks like this matter isn't up for discussion anymore, so I'm just going to let it slide for now. 

"Sorry… I didn't mean to say all that. You had your reasons for behaving the way you did. Saying that was really insensitive of me." She starts pulling on her nightshirt.

I didn't really expect her to apologize right after that.

"Look, don't beat yourself up over it. We've all been a little on edge with being sent out here and all the events that happened after that. I don't blame you for your mood. If anything, I hope you're right and that I'm wrong." 

She nods, but doesn't say anything. She looks to be thinking about something, so I stay silent as well.

She turns to me after a few minutes.

"You can go sleep by the way. I'll keep watch. I'm sure your hour has almost passed anyway." 

I nod at her, but I don't leave before asking her if she's really okay. She assures me that, "yes, I'm fine" and "no, you don't need to stay up with me. I can take care of myself." 

I smile at her before getting back in my tent and surprisingly, falling asleep isn't as hard as I thought it would be.

.

It's the morning light that wakes me from my slumber once more and I can't verbally express how happy I am that our first night is over. 

Outside my tent, it's quiet, indicating that probably nobody's up yet. I'm disappointed that the others haven't come back to us yet. I really hope they will.

I find it a little chilly this morning, so I decide to put on two shirts, one thin and one thicker one to keep me warm. 

The bright morning sun greets me when I open my tent. The fire is still burning and Ignatz is currently the one keeping watch. He turns to me when he hears me open my tent.

"Good morning, Claude! You're up early." He greets me cheerfully. 

I grunt a 'good morning' back and he laughs at me.

"You're really not a morning person, are you? That's okay, I'll leave you be. I made some tea, if you like." 

What an angel.

I thank him before I go over to sit in front of the fire with a cup of tea and he turns back to look over the huge field of grass.

We sit in a comfortable silence until I'm wake enough to hold a conversation.

"What are the others up to? Are they okay?" I need to know if they were safe as well last night. 

"I think so," he answers, "I haven't seen any movements from them, so they're probably still asleep right now." 

That's good, very good. I nod at him, but he doesn't see me. 

"If you want, you can get some more sleep. I don't know when the others are going to wake up, but it'll probably still-" I interrupt myself with a yawn. "-still be a while." 

He laughs. "Are you sure you don't want some more sleep? I don't really mind, I always wake up this early." 

I take a sip from my tea, ignoring his talking. I hate to be like this, but like he said already, I'm really not a morning person. He only laughs softly before going quiet once more.

I don't know exactly how much time has passed when Marianne comes crawling out of her tent. She seems to have had some decent sleep, so I'm glad about that.

"Good morning" Ignatz and I both greet her.

"Oh, you're up already… sorry for being late." 

I offer her some tea and she joins me in front of the fire. 

"Did you sleep well?" I ask her.

"I did, did you?" 

I nod before we fall quiet again.

I'm considering waking up Lysithea, so we can all head to the river to wash up a bit. I'm not leaving anyone behind.

Before I can make a decision, though, Lysithea's tent opens already. 

"Good morning" the rest of us greets her. 

She yawns before she returns the greeting.

"Looks like Lorenz is up too" Ignatz informs us. 

I get up to get a look immediately. Like Ignatz said, Lorenz is up and walking around their small camp. He stretches his arms and continues doing some morning exercises. 

I don't like the guy one bit, but I'm happy he's okay. If he is, that means the others are as well.

Ignatz looks relieved too, before he gets up from the rock to pour himself and Lysithea a cup of tea. 

The morning dew on the grass, shimmering in the sunlight makes a beautiful sight. I look up at the sky, seeing no clouds anywhere. Looks like the weather will be good again today. 

I wait for Lysithea and Ignatz to finish their tea before I propose to go washing. We all grab the things we need before we head down, leaving our possessions unguarded. I do take a bow and my quiver with a few arrows though, and Lysithea takes her sword. 

From the looks of it, the way down the river is clear, but we never know what to expect. 

I look around warily, but my gaze gets stuck on the forest to my right. Did Dimitri and his group make it through the night alright? I'm finding it weird that they haven't left the forest, but maybe they travelled to the other side of it.

I guess I'll find out in two days.

The time out here hasn't been too bad, but I really can't wait to get back inside the monastery. 

"Claude..! Is that…" Ignatz interrupts my thoughts.

I follow his gaze down to the river, but I don't really see anything besides Lorenz' small camp. Lysithea and Marianne have stopped moving as well.

"Where?" I ask, because apparently I'm blind.

"On the other side of the river." Lysithea answers me. 

And just like she said, there is a person walking around the area behind the river. Its movements are different from the one we faced yesterday.

"Stay on your guards, this one's different." 

They look at me, but don't say anything, waiting for me to explain.

"The movements, they're much more fluent than the previous one's. It's quicker on its feet as well." 

For a second, I consider the possibility of it being a member of the Lions, but I don't recognize the clothing. 

It shouldn't be dangerous, given there's a whole river between us and the infected, but I can't afford to let my guard down. I remember one time where an infected threw its weapon at one of the women, so I'm not taking any risks. 

I take an arrow out of my quiver and motion for the others to stay behind me as much as possible.

"Lorenz! Get away from the river!"

He perks up at my words and starts looking around for a threat. When he sees it's just on the other side of the river, he scowls at me and continues eating his breakfast.

"Oh my god, seriously?!" Lysithea slaps her forehead and I'm trying not to laugh. This is a serious matter, after all.

I fire off an arrow and hit its shoulder. Not a vital point, just in case it is a normal person, but it doesn't even seem to notice as it keeps walking around. It's bent forward, presumably searching for something. 

"What's it doing?" Ignatz wonders aloud.

"I think it might be looking for something it can throw at us." I say without taking my eyes off of my target.

I take another arrow out of my quiver and put it on my bow. 

"Lorenz, could you at least get out of the way?" He's literally sitting right in my line of fire.

He sighs loudly before getting up. 

The infected seems to have found something and picks it up. I can't see what it is from where I am, but it obviously can't be good. 

Ignatz noticed it too. "Lorenz, please just get away from the river, it might attack you!" 

Lorenz rolls his eyes. "If you hadn't noticed, it doesn't even carry any weap-"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence before a rock hits his head and he falls to the ground. 

I shoot my arrow through the infected's throat before I send Marianne down to heal Lorenz. A squirt of blood comes out of the wound and a trickle of blood makes its way out of the infected's mouth as well. It makes a gurgling, choking kind of sound before it goes down.

I'm not entirely sure if that did the trick, but it doesn't get up anymore after it fell down.

"Is it dead?" Lysithea asks unsure, but I can't give my absolute confirmation. 

"I don't know, since this one was different from the other one. But I doubt it can give us much trouble." 

I head to where Marianne is healing Lorenz' head.

"He'll be fine… He's just unconscious right now." She tells me when she sees me coming over.

I nod at her, indicating that I heard her before she gets back to taking care of Lorenz.

"You guys can wash up, I'll watch out for you." I tell the three of my squad.

"Are you sure? Your vision seems to let you down when it comes to spotting things first." 

Of course Lysithea would comment on that. 

"Well, there isn't any high spot out here to give you a height advantage, so it's best to leave things to the grown-ups." 

"Excuse me, at least I saw the infected even with my height, you can't even see something that's right in front of you." 

I stick out my tongue at her, and she returns the gesture. How mature we are.

Marianne finishes up with Lorenz and walks over to the river with the other two.

Ignatz finishes up quickly, taking over my position and bow and I walk over to the edge of the water too. 

"Uhm, Claude?" Lysithea starts.

"Uhm, yes?" I reply.

She rolls her eyes before she continues. "Is it possible for Marianne and me to have some privacy here? I don't feel comfortable undressing in front of a guy." 

While I splash my face with some water, I contemplate her question. I understand very well that as girls, they wouldn't be comfortable with me being around while they take off clothes. However, I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of leaving them to tend to themselves here. 

"Actually, that's not a good idea. I'll make sure to turn away from you guys while you're busy, but I'm staying closeby. I don't feel comfortable leaving you two alone." 

Things would be different if we were still together with the others. Then the girls could stick together and watch out for each other separate from us guys, but right now it's just not a good idea.

Lysithea looks unhappy, but seems to understand my reasoning.

"Could you turn away, then?" She asks, like it was obvious she meant right now.

"Yeah, let me just finish up real quick." I say before I do just that.

Needless to say, I don't feel entirely comfortable taking off my clothes in front of them either. I just take off my shirts and wet my upper body, cleaning any dirt spots and and my armpits. 

"I'll make sure to be out of vision, but I'm within hearing range. If you need anything, just scream." 

Both Marianne and Lysithea let me know they heard me before I put only my thin shirt back on. 

"Don't peek at them, okay Ignatz? They're set on their privacy." I tell him with a wink when I pass by him and I very much enjoy the slight pink blush that starts forming on his cheeks.

"O-of course not! I wouldn't dare." 

I can't help but laugh at his flustered reaction before I make my way towards Lorenz.

He's still lying unconsciously on the grass and I notice some drops of blood around his head. That rock must have hit him pretty hard.

Saying that he got what he deserves would be harsh, but he did get what he deserves. 

I nudge his body with my foot, "hey, you dead?"

His eyes flutter open, blinking a few times to clear his vision. With a groan, he manages to sit up straight. He looks up at me with a confused face.

"Should've listened to me. I don't spout shit all the time, you know." 

His face contorts into a glare. "If I had not listened to you from day one, I'm positive that I would have led us to a safer spot in the first place, and on top of that-" 

I already tune out his voice. I'm not about to stand here and listen to his bullshit and besides, I already said what I wanted to say to him.

"You guys finished yet?" I walk back to Ignatz so I can hear the girls' voices. Lorenz calls out to me, but I decide to ignore that.

"Yup! We'll be right there" Lysithea calls out.

Great.

"You guys interested in coming back?" I turn back to Lorenz.

"Not a chance, Claude. If you really think that we're about to-" 

"Alright, just checking." It was literally a yes-or-no question, why does he always have to sputter so much nonsense after his answer?

"Just know that you can always return. We'll be happy to have you back." I need to make sure he knows this.

I would like to tell the others as well, but they're still in their tents and I'm not about to wake them up.

I don't listen to his answer because I see Lysithea and Marianne pop up behind one of the tents. Looks like we're ready to go back, so we're back on our way towards our camp.

The rest of the day goes by without anything remarkable happening. Although it is kinda boring, I'm still thankful. Things could have gone way different out here. 

We play a few games together and Ignatz starts painting the scenery that's surrounding us. We talk, joke and laugh and we discuss some serious things as well, like hopes and dreams we wish to make a reality someday.

"I want to open my own bakery one day. With lots of sweet pastries and poptarts and cupcakes and cookies. I'd really like that." 

I smile because I can totally see a grown Lysithea making everyone inside the monastery fat as a pig.

"I'd like to live a happy quiet life…" Marianne confesses.

It's simple, yet so very Marianne that I can't help but wish the same for her.

"I hope to become a great artist when I'm older. I'll hang up my paintings on every wall of the monastery!" Ignatz chuckles.

I'd like a painting painted by Ignatz in my living space.

I notice that all their wishes are so… domestic. As if it's not even possible to be somewhere outside the monastery.

"What about you, Claude?" Ignatz asks. 

"I want to see the rest of the world. Meet people from other places, try different kinds of foods, get in contact with different cultures.   
I want to see Fódlan change into a pretty place again, where there's no room for any sickness or virus that causes death.   
I want peace for every soul that lost their lives in an unfair way.   
I want to go home to my father." I answer him from my place on the rock. 

There's no answer from any of them to that, but there is a small voice in my head that speaks to me;

'Then make it happen.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I'm so slow and I hate myself for it
> 
> Nevertheless, thank you for reading, hope you enjoy :)

The afternoon sun shines brightly, but once in a while a small could makes its way in front of the sun, causing a shadow to fall over the area.

"It looks like it might rain tonight." I mutter to the others.

"Do we need to take extra precautions?" Ignatz looks worried.

I don't think we can actually do anything to prepare for rain, so I shake my head.

"The best we can do is take as much things as we can inside our tents. That should help, though probably not much." 

The three immediately do what I proposed, putting as many belongings as possible inside their tents.

I look over to the river. Lorenz' squad has finally made a fire and Raphael is fully utilizing it with his cooking set. Hilda is swimming in the river while Lorenz is reading his novel. Seems that only Leonie has a sense of duty, intently watching her surroundings.

I'm not comfortable with them being so far away from us, but it seems there isn't much I can do to change it besides follow Lorenz. Like that's ever going to happen.

"There's really not much to do, is there?" Lysithea sighs, likely from boredom.

I look up at the sky, we should have just a little less than an hour of daylight.

"We can go into the forest for some more firewood. If it's going to rain, it'll be best to have some dry wood to make a new fire tomorrow."

We'll just need to hurry up, though. I don't want to be stuck in there in the dark.

Lysithea sits up immediately, looking at me excited. 

"I'll grab some things and then I'll be ready!" 

She grabs her sword and a smaller bag which she puts over her shoulder. 

Should I bring the other two as well? They don't seem to have heard of our plans, Ignatz is focusing on drawing and Marianne is watching him closely.

Those two would probably panic if any infected made an appearance, so I'm definitely bringing them.

"Guys." I wait until they both look up at me. "We're going to get some more firewood from the forest. Get ready." 

They both jump up. Marianne takes her medical kit and Ignatz grabs his bow. They look at me to tell me they're ready.

We head out towards the forest together and I feel like we're all a lot less tense than the first day. We've all gained a lot more confidence.

We now know what the infected are like and how to take them down quickly. It's hard for me to think I was actually terrified of them before. 

"Let's not go in too deep. I don't want to find out what could be lurking out there." 

They verbally agree with me, all looking around us to spot any danger as quickly as possible.

"I-I'll gather the wood… I'll do it properly this time." Marianne speaks up.

Lorenz' words echo through my head. I don't want Marianne to feel like I'm making her do anything.

"You sure?"

"Yeah… You need to be able to use your weapons, after all. And I'm kinda useless…" 

"No way, you're not useless! Stop being so negative, for god's sake! You're like, the most important person here. You're the only one who can heal properly, we'd be useless without you."

"Now, now, Lysithea. No reason to be so angry." Ignatz raises his hands in a calming gesture.

She huffs in return.

"Let's just grab some branches then and get the hell out of here." I shush their arguing as quickly as it came up.

Marianne nods before she squats and starts gathering the logs and branches that are scattered on the ground.

She makes sure to hurry this time. I'm glad, I really don't want to face off against anything with all these trees around. They give me a much harder time to aim and shoot any arrow and swinging a sword around would be difficult with the limited space.

"Are we allowed to speak?" Ignatz asks innocently, but I don't really appreciate it.

"No, please stay quiet as much as possible." 

I need to be able to hear any signs of something approaching. Those signs could actually be a twig on the ground snapping in two, so I really don't want to hear anyone's voice.

He gives me a thumbs-up. It makes me smile.

Marianne holds quite a few branches in her arms and turns to me, silently asking confirmation.

She's got plenty, I'm sure it will suffice for the upcoming time.

I nod and we all head back to camp. The sun is already setting, so I'm glad we got out before it got dark.

I put the wood in my tent before we share dinner together. This canned food is already starting to disgust me, I'd much rather have fresh fruits or vegetables.

Seems like the others agree with me, if their scrunched up faces are any indication. Although, I'm sure Lysithea would prefer cake or something over vegetables.

"It doesn't look like it will rain after all." Ignatz notices. 

The clouds that threatened to give us a hard time have floated to a different direction.

"That's great. At least we'll be able to keep our fire going." 

Lysithea hums in agreeance while she scoops the last bits of food out of her can and puts it in her mouth. 

Marianne is currently keeping watch.

We're halfway there and I'm feeling confident we'll make it. My group may be small, but it's much more practical than leading a bigger group. 

Involuntarily I look over to the others down at the river. They look like they're still lazing around, except Leonie, who's keeping watch again. 

Well, she did have a choice in the matter, and she still does, so I can't say I sympathize with her.

Only two more nights and one more day. The infected seem to be inactive at night, but I can't take the risk of no one watching until I know for sure.

Ignatz takes over from Marianne and she joins us around the fire.

"Got any scary ghost stories?" I ask no one in particular.

Ignatz chuckles as Lysithea loudly protests.

"No! No, no scary stories!" 

"Huh, why not? Don't tell me you're scared." Teasing people is literally the best entertainment there is.

She sputters. "N-no, not me. Uhm… Marianne is! Yeah, I don't want Marianne to be scared tonight." 

Marianne shrugs indifferently, causing Lysithea's cheeks to burn up. 

"So it is you that's scared." It's hard not to laugh at her face. 

She tries to look like she doesn't care, but the slight twitch of her eyebrow combined with her slightly rosy cheeks betray her.

"I'm not the only one who's scared of ghosts, you know!" She looks at Ignatz for backup, but he's tactfully not paying her any attention.

"...Whatever." She eventually says before she puffs up her cheeks in a pout.

Cute. She tries so hard to be mature for her age, and she is, but sometimes her childish side comes out, showing how she truly feels.

"...So no ghost stories?" I try again, but she immediately shuts me up.

.

The rest of the time passes slowly, but surely. The nights, as I figured, were uneventful and the last day we found one more infected just outside the trees.

We shot it down quickly and no one had gotten hurt. Thankfully. 

It's the last morning and I wake up very happily. The smile on my face is permanent and I even hum a song as I start breaking down my tent. 

"Wow, this is unusual." Ignatz laughs at me from his position on the rock. 

I can't even feel bothered by his very subtle mockery of my morning attitudes. Today we finally get to go back inside, after all. No more infected that are after our lives, no more hard ground to sleep on, no more washing in a river and best of all; no more canned food.

After I'm done with my own tent, I start breaking down Ignatz' as well, with his permission of course. 

He gets up from the rock to brew his tea and we share a comfortable silence as we're both occupied and waiting for the others.

The only thing that puts me slightly off my good mood however, is the fact that there's no one in any of the watching towers. I figured that there would be someone in there to see if we're all here so they could open the gate for us. 

It gives me a really irky feeling, but I've decided that I won't bother Ignatz or the others with it. We'll just have to see how things are going to go today.

"Claude, I-I think I see someone." 

Ugh, please not now. My neck turns to him so fast that I almost sprain a muscle. 

"Where? Is it close?" 

"Oh, there's more, look!" Ignatz points to the edge of the forest, where now four people- normally moving people- emerge from the trees.

One very familiar head pops up as well, Dimitri's, and now I'm sure it's the Blue Lions that are making their way back to the monastery. 

Six people are currently heading in our direction. I wonder if all of them will come out, given the scream we heard on the first day outside. 

I hate that I didn't pay too much attention to the members of the Blue Lions. I know Dimitri is in there, obviously, then there's the guy with the red hair, the dark skinned man, a small ginger girl, one guy who glares at everything under the sun, and a girl with long, blonde hair.

Most of those are visible currently, except the man with dark skin. Instead, I see a young woman with long light brown hair. It's probably obvious that I'm staring at them, but I can't say I care. I need to know if they're all okay. 

Dimitri's head perks up, which catches my attention. Our gazes meet. His steps falter and he almost trips over his own feet. It looks pretty funny and I can't help but snicker.

"There's only six people…" Ignatz says worried.

"I'm sure the others will come out soon." I try to reassure him, but I have no evidence to base my reaction on. 

He still looks unsure, and I have no doubt he'll keep that look until the others do make an appearance.

I can only hope they will. 

My eyes travel to the other half of my own group. Only Lorenz is up again, like every morning. He's doing those weird stretching exercises again. Seems his head is okay, though. Marianne did great with healing him. 

"Oh look, there they are!" Ignatz points back at the trees and just like he said, the two missing people emerge from the trees as well.

"I thought Ashe was hurt, but he looks alright. I'm so glad." 

Ah, Ignatz knows one of them. Was this Ashe person the one who screamed then?

"G-good morning." Marianne greets. 

"Good morning!" Ignatz and I reply simultaneously.

Even Marianne looks a bit less sad than usual. I guess everyone's happy we can go back inside soon.

"Have some tea and breakfast. I'll start breaking down your tent." I offer.

Now that I know the Blue Lions are all okay, I can focus on other things. 

She does as I say and goes to sit in front of the fire, pouring herself a cup of tea.

"Ignatz… W-would you like some?"

They engage in a conversation about tea and how glad they are about how the past days have gone. 

I take another look at the watching towers, but there still isn't anyone there. Maybe someone will come if we wait until the sun's risen completely.

"Phew! Am I glad we're finally out of the forest!" A girly voice coming from the Blue Lions sounds loud.

"Now, now Annie. Don't talk so loud, there are still people sleeping." Another woman chuckles.

'Annie' apologizes in a hushed voice, she likely hadn't considered the idea.

More laughs from people that I don't recognize. Maybe I shouldn't have been so antisocial during my time in the academy. I'll make sure to fix that, now that I know people aren't as bad as I thought.

The voices get louder, indicating that they're getting closer to us. I refuse to look up from where I'm working on Marianne's tent, simply because Dimitri's been acting weird to me and I don't know how to talk to him.  
The few times he rejected my attempts to make contact kinda stung, so I don't want to repeat that.

I still don't know what I did wrong. 

Many loud 'good morning' greets are being said around me, causing a very grumpy Lysithea to finally make her way out of the tent as well.

"Good morning, grump." 

Her bedhair looks impressive today. She glares at me while trying to hold back a yawn. It's a very amusing sight and I don't even try to hold in my laugh.

"Glad you think it's funny. What's with all the noise?" She lets out her yawn this time.

"It's almost time to go back inside, obviously. Everyone's coming back." 

She looks around, only now noticing that there's so many people gathered around our small camp.

"Oh my god, I look ridiculous! Couldn't you have said something sooner?!" Immediately, she crawls back into her tent to fix her appearance. 

It makes me chuckle. 

I hear someone clear his throat not too far from where I'm sitting and I look up.

"I-I'm glad you're okay." Dimitri tells me, but again, refuses to make eye contact.

"Yeah, same to you." 

I continue breaking down Marianne's tent, its owner now awkwardly sitting in front of the fire, desperately trying to ignore the chattering around her.

Poor soul.

"Thank you," Dimitri says. "Going into the forest probably wasn't the brightest idea I've had." He laughs awkwardly.

I only hum in response since I didn't actually hear him. All I heard was his nervous chuckle. I'm focusing on trying not to break the pole I'm trying to get loose. What the hell has Lorenz done with this tent?

"Can I- uhm… Do you need help with that?" He gestures to the pole that's currently sticking out of the fabric.

I look up at him. "No, not really. I think I got this, but thanks for offering." 

Someone needs to show Lorenz how to put up a tent. I'm obviously struggling with it, so he speaks up again.

"You're doing it wrong… Please, let me help you." Impatient as he is, he's already sitting next to me and taking the pole from my hands.

Well, okay then. 

I sit back to give him space and watch him work, but even he seems to be struggling with it now that he's got his hands on it.

I refocus my gaze from his hands on the tent to his face instead. His brow is furrowed in concentration and he's biting his lower lip. It's something he does when he's unsure. I noticed that during the times we hung out in the library together. 

His blonde hair is a little greasy and his clothes are dirty. Something I never thought I'd see from him; the guy who's always perfect. Despite that, he still has his princely kind of appearance. I wonder if he misses his princess.

"You doing okay there, buddy?" 

Right after I ask, the pole he was trying to pull loose slaps loudly against his face. I accidentally bark out a loud laugh at the sight. Never mind that princely appearance, he's still as clumsy as ever.

His head turns to look at me, insulted that I flat out laughed at him. I want to apologize, but the now-red line across his cheek and chin makes me laugh even harder.

It's obvious he's struggling with keeping a straight face, and eventually even he starts laughing at himself. It's weird to realize how much I've missed spending time with Dimitri, even though it wasn't at all that long ago. Perhaps it's because I don't understand why it ended in the first place. 

Both our laughs quiet down, forcing a rather awkward silence on us. I'm not quite sure if I should say something, so I don't. 

"Claude..?" He asks, and if we hadn't been sitting so close to each other, I doubt I'd have heard it. 

I look at him. It's the first time in a while that he's looking me in the eyes. The intensity of his gaze makes me want to squirm under it. 

"What's up?" I try to sound casual, but I'm sure I have a hopeful look in my eyes. 

He pauses and looks away before his eyes meet mine once more. 

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting towards you. Just… Just please understand that it wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong."

For a moment I'm speechless. What the fuck?

"If it's not something I did, then why?" 

He looks uncomfortable, fiddling with the pole in his hands. He refuses to answer.

"Dimitri, why?" I'm doing a very poor job at hiding my irritation.

He flinches at my tone of voice. "It's not important. I just… I'd rather not tell you right now." 

"So it is something I did." Let's try some reverse psychology.

"N-no, it's really not. Please trust me when I say this; you did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm the one who messed up. Please, Claude, believe me." 

I don't want to let him get away with this, but the desperation in his face and voice convince me that he really doesn't want to talk about this.

Doesn't mean I can't guess, though. His reactions will let me know if I'm right or not.

"Is it Edelgard?" My best guess, since she's got a lot of influence on him. 

He freezes completely. Bingo.

"It's not Edelgard," he says, "she's done nothing wrong either. Like I said, I'm the one who messed up." 

Weird. He doesn't seem to be lying, but he definitely reacted to Edelgard's name. 

"Alright, fine. Will you talk to me again, though? No more weird behavior?" 

If he can't talk to me when he's around Edelgard, I'd rather not have him talk to me at all. 

"I-I promise. No more weird behavior." He smiles one of his dashing smiles and I can't help but smile back at him.

We'll see how things go when Edelgard makes her appearance, though. And speak of the devil, a group of people just comes walking down the hill that lies in the direction of the small village.

Dimitri notices it too. I watch his reaction closely, and I just lost all of my faith in the promise he just made to me.


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small warning for blood but it's really barely there
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Dimitri just stares, not saying anything. I wonder what he's thinking, but if his face is anything to go by, it's not good. There's a mix of both shock and despair visible. Weird, he should have expected she'd be here soon.

"You okay?" 

He blinks a few times before he turns back to me. 

"Uhm, yes. Sorry." 

He doesn't say any more than that, instead turning his attention back to the tent he was breaking down for me.

Well, at least he said something.

I eye the members of the Black Eagles carefully. Most of them are obviously honor students. They're walking around like they own the place. I'm glad they all seem to be okay, though. Nothing unexpected.

Edelgard looks at Dimitri, but doesn't come any closer to him. Then she makes eye contact with me and glares before she turns away to talk to one of her members.

Edelgard leads her group a little further away from the people that are gathered here. They form their own group, paying us no more attention.

Fine with me. I don't feel like letting her or anyone else ruin my good mood right now.

But then I notice that the watching towers are still empty. 

"Hey, Dimitri? Can I talk to you about something?" I ask in a hushed voice. 

I know it's important, but I really don't want to worry anyone for no reason. Heck, maybe telling Dimitri is actually a bad idea. The whole thing just doesn't sit well with me and I'd like someone else's opinion on it.

He perks up, looking almost happy I'm starting a conversation. "Yes, what is it?" 

"Please keep your voice low, it's kind of a secret." 

For some reason, he starts blushing and moves a little bit closer to me.

"Sorry, please go on." 

"See those watching towers?" I point at the top of the wall surrounding the monastery.

He looks confused before he follows the direction I'm pointing at. He turns back to me.

"Yes, what about them?" 

"Well, don't you think it's weird how there's nobody in there?" 

He looks thoughtful for a second. 

"Don't you know they work in shifts? It's really nothing to worry about." 

Man, do I hate it when people act like I'm talking shit when I'm serious.

I sigh. "No, listen. There hasn't been anyone in there. All towers have been empty this whole time and trust me, I've been keeping an eye on it." 

"Then, what are you implying?" 

"Well, my paranoid brains are getting out of control on this matter, so why don't you just tell me what you think?" 

If he trusts Rhea and Seteth blindly, which I'll find out from his answer, I can't put my complete faith in him. I really want to, but he'll just give me a hard time if he defends them no matter what.

"Hmm… If there really hasn't been anyone in the watching towers, there's no way they'll know when we're ready to return." 

I nod. 

"But that wouldn't make sense, because they sent us out here to find food." 

Ah, right. I completely forgot about that. Oh well.

"So, what do you think then?" I push. He should figure out that this whole mess doesn't add up.

He contemplates it for a bit. 

"Claude, don't tell me…" Lysithea's voice surprises me. I didn't think she'd be listening.

Dimitri and I both turn to her. Her eyes are big and I'm pretty sure they're wet.

Of course she would catch on. She's intelligent enough. I'm not saying Dimitri isn't, but he's very naive. 

"What do you mean?" Dimitri asks Lysithea. 

I wanted him to figure it out himself, since it didn't seem like he'd believe me if I told him, but having Lysithea to back me up would probably work even better.

"If what Claude says is true, then that means no one has been looking out for us. They don't know whether we're dead or alive. But why wouldn't they look?" 

"So that Rhea and Seteth can report whatever they want to, which is likely that we died out here." I answer her. "And everyone will believe them, because no one else has an answer." 

"So they're.. " She doesn't finish her sentence. Tears start to form in her eyes and I hate that I just said that.

"You're saying that they're abandoning us?" Dimitri's voice is loud. I can't have him draw attention from any more people.

"Please, don't talk so loud. Look, I understand that this is probably a shock to you. I didn't expect this either, but there's just nothing else I can make out of this." 

He still looks at me like I'm crazy. "And why? Why do you think they would they abandon all of us?" 

"Listen. Lysithea, you as well. I'm going to explain from the start." 

She crawls closer to us while wiping tears from her eyes. Fuck, do I feel bad now.

"That night, remember? They summoned us for that meeting late at night." 

Dimitri nods.

"To me, it looked like an emergency meeting. Even Rhea and Seteth were in their nightwear. Didn't you find that weird?" I look at Dimitri, mainly because Lysithea wasn't there to see it.

"W-well, yes. I don't really have an idea of why they would have done that…" He admits.

Good, then my theory will make sense to him.

"When did you see… Seteth do the… the thing?" 

I hate being vague like this, but he asked me not to tell anyone about him having seen Seteth hit Linhardt.

"...The thing?" 

"What thing?" 

Dimitri and Lysithea ask simultaneously.

I slap my forehead.

"You know, Dimitri, you saw Seteth do something..?" 

He bites his lower lip and looks down, deep in thought.

Oh, come on. 

"What thing?" Lysithea presses. "You said you'd explain everything." 

Dimitri looks back up and I can almost literally see the light bulb lighting up.

"It was a few nights before the meeting, actually. It couldn't have been more than three." 

Okay, so three nights after Seteth found out that Linhardt had illegal information, the emergency meeting was held. We didn't get a lot of information from them, just what the test was going to be about.

Then, Dimitri went and ran his mouth, revealing he actually saw Seteth hit Linhardt. The day after, we were told we'd leave in exactly one week. Could those two things be related? 

And then there's the fact that all the students from our grade went. That group includes me, a serious troublemaker for Seteth and Rhea. Dimitri, the guy who saw Seteth do the thing. Linhardt, who had illegal information about outside. And Lysithea as well, but I'm not quite sure about this one yet. She is the one who's got those strange scars and dreams or memories.

Who else could have information, and more importantly, what are Rhea and Seteth hiding? Are they trying to get rid of us, because we know things? 

"Please, please tell me?" Lysithea pouts while she pulls on my arm. 

Way to pull me out of my grand thoughts-train of important information, Lysithea. I'm currently missing too many pieces of information to have a clear answer, so I'm not going to tell them anything about this until I know more.

I look at Dimitri, because I'm not telling her anything before I have his permission. Of course, Lysithea notices and starts pouting and pulling at him instead. 

Dimitri obviously didn't expect that. He's unsure of what to do and looks at me, but I'm just laughing at the sight. Can't help you there, bud.

"Please tell me what the thing is, please tell me," she chants over and over.

Finally, he sighs in surrender.

"You can trust her, she's a good girl." I assure him. 

He nods at me and turns to Lysithea, who's now gleaming because of my words.

"I-I… I saw Seteth hit one of the students." 

She gasps before she looks at me. 

"He hit you too, right? Who was the other student?" 

"It was Linhardt von Hevring, from the Black Eagles." Dimitri's the one to tell her after both of us had been quiet for a bit.

"Ugh, Linhardt. I'm sure he deserved it. Have you ever had a class with him? He's so incredibly annoying! Believe it or not, he's on an equal level with Hilda when it comes to being lazy. All he does is sleep, all day." She puffs up her cheeks in mild annoyance.

She has some strong feelings about the guy for whatever reason, but I'll find that out later. What currently peaks my interest is that she actually knows who Linhardt is.

Dimitri and I share a knowing look. He didn't know who Linhardt is, either.

"Hey, who's Linhardt?" I'm not about to waste any second.

She rolls her eyes before she replies. "Why? Don't tell me you're interested in him now." 

"Might be." I shrug to seem indifferent. 

It's not like I want to keep her in the dark, but it's for her own good. I could be wrong after all.

"Okay, fine. But you have to sit in front of me so he won't know I'm looking at him." 

I give her a questioning look. Dimitri seems to understand though, he's already moving to cover her from vision.

"Ugh, just do it! Don't question me." 

"Okay, fine." Jeez, demanding much.

I move to sit even closer to Dimitri, causing our sides to be pressed against each other. He tenses, but this way Lysithea can sit behind us, completely out of vision. 

His warm body feels nice against my own chillier one. 

Dimitri and I look hella ridiculous, though. Not suspicious at all.

"Okay, see the small guy with the light blue colored hair?" She manages to wriggle her arm inbetween Dimitri's and my neck so she can point at the boy.

I hum in confirmation.

"Right across from him. That's Linhardt." 

My eyes follow the given direction. And great, Linhardt is looking right at our ridiculous bunch. 

At least he won't be surprised if I head towards him right now, so that's exactly what I get up to do.

"Hey, wait-!" Lysithea sputters something before she tries to hide completely behind Dimitri.

"Would you… Can I come too?" Dimitri looks up at my standing form.

I wonder if he wants to go over to talk to Edelgard while I'm interrogating Linhardt. For a second, I want to refuse him but then I remember that they're actually in a relationship.

What's gotten into me?

"Sure. Let's go." I hold out my hand to pull him up and he gratefully takes it.

"No, stop! Oh my god, you said you'd hide me, now look what you've done!" 

Both Dimitri and I look at her surprised.

Oops, I kinda forgot about that, but looking at Lysithea's furious blush makes up for the guilt I'm feeling.

"Sorry, we'll be right back." I look at Dimitri and he nods. 

"Apologies. My name is Dimitri, by the way."

He holds out his hand to Lysithea and she looks stunned before she remembers she's supposed to be angry. Then, with puffed up cheeks, she takes his hand and introduces herself as well.

Seeing this gives me a happy feeling which I can't explain.

"Shall we go, then?" His voice surprises me, but I recover quickly enough.

I nod before we make our way over to the Black Eagles. I've said or done nothing yet, but I've already earned me a disapproving glare from their leader.

Good thing I have no business with her.

"Excuse me, are you Linhardt?" Dimitri asks Linhardt. 

Huh, he's not paying Edelgard any attention at all. How weird.

"Yes, what's it to you?" Linhardt replies.

Dimitri looks taken aback a bit by his answer, but doesn't relent.

"Do you have a moment to discuss something with us? It's about-" 

"ENEMY SPOTTED!" A loud voice shouts. 

Everyone stops talking in favor of checking their surroundings. 

I don't know who yelled, so I don't really know where to look. All I see is chaos everywhere.

Amidst the chaos, Edelgard has made her way over to me. "Go back to your own group, rat. Leave my members alone, you'll just put them in danger." 

Before I can reply, however, she already cuts me off.

"And stop hanging around Dimitri. Don't you see how much you're ruining him? He'd be so much better off if you'd just disappear." 

Ruining him? I'm ruining Dimitri? 

I want to ask for clarification, but she's already walking towards the man in question.

Alrighty, then.

"Claude! Claude, come quickly!" 

Ignatz' yelling blurs out every other thought and I make my way to him as fast as my legs allow me.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" 

I'm panting, but not so much from physical exertion. It's more the panic that causes me to struggle with breathing.

"It's Lorenz' group, look!" 

When I turn my head, I see Raphael standing in front of Hilda, Leonie and Lorenz, as if he's trying to shield them with his body.

'Raphael would be terrifying if he turned' I remember thinking, and I don't hesitate before I grab my bow and quiver and run towards the others.

This is looking ugly. The infected that's threatening them has an axe, presumably Raphael's, since his is gone. It's swinging its weapon around with impressive speed, not allowing any counter attack.

Lorenz, again, tries to attack it with magic, but that still has no effect. Leonie and Hilda are screaming something I can't hear because of the distance.

A few voices call out to me, telling me to stop and that it's too dangerous to go alone. But what other choice do I have? I'm not putting anyone else in danger. 

This is all my own fault to begin with. I should have never let them move so far away from us. Shit, shit, shit.

"Raph! Get away!" 

Please hear me, please run. Please just survive. I only now realize that it's not because Raphael would be terrifying that I'm running to save his life. I care about him. I don't want to lose him, or any of the others for that matter.

I sprint as fast as I can, but I'm terrified I won't make it in time. Raphael has nothing to defend himself with except his arms, which are really not going to help much against an axe.

I get down on one knee to aim and shoot an arrow at the infected. I don't care where I hit it, as long as it stops moving that axe.

It's only then that I notice it already has an arrow in its throat. 

I manage to stand up, but then abruptly stop moving altogether. The adrenaline in my veins tells me to keep moving, get closer and eliminate the threat, but my head won't cooperate.

Because how? How am I supposed to take it down? This one is undoubtedly the very same infected that threw the rock against Lorenz' head a few days ago. But if arrows don't work, then what do I do? It's all I've got…

I do nothing but watch as the axe finally makes contact with Raphael's arm. He cries out in pain and blood gushes out of his wound at a fast pace. I'm surprised his arm's still attached to his body at all.

Leonie and Hilda are screaming and wailing in terror. I hate the sound of it. Lorenz freezes just like me, just watching Raphael holding his hurt arm close to his chest.

"Marianne…" The name barely makes it out of my mouth and it's obviously not loud enough to reach her ears.

"Marianne! Marianne, please…" My legs are trembling. 

It's getting more and more difficult to stay on my feet. I'm terrified, I can't move. This cannot be happening.

My heartbeat is loud in my ears, filtering out every other sound around me. What have I done? 

"Please… Please, someone help. Help them, please. I can't do it, I can't-" A loud sob coming out of my throat cuts off my quiet pleas for help. 

The next few seconds pass as if they take hours and hours to go by.

Raphael is hit once more, across his chest this time, and finally falls to the ground with a thump. His body doesn't move anymore. 

The infected is still swinging the axe around, now aiming for the remaining three. 

"Why won't you stop..?" 

Tears run down my face and it's the first time that I've cried for someone other than my mother.

I'm almost ten years older now, but I feel like I'm that child again. Useless, doing nothing but watch as someone I care about is being taken from me by one of those disgusting things. 

And there's nothing I do to stop it from happening again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is written in Dimitri's POV and it's pretty much all about his pining
> 
> I'm a bit scared to post this chapter because it might trigger some bad feelings for anyone who deals with the same problem as Dimitri, but he basically hates himself for his sexuality
> 
> I don't mean any harm with it, so I hope it's not too bad!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is skippable, meaning you won't miss any plot if you'd rather not read

Edelgard walks up to me right after someone shouted the alarm. She practically falls into my arms, forcing a hug out of me. 

"I'm scared…" 

It's hard to understand what she says, due to her voice being muffled by the fabric of my shirt, but also the screaming of the other students around us.

"Claude! Claude, come quickly!" Someone yells at the top of their lungs.

I barely catch a glimpse of Claude before he runs right towards the source of the voice. What happened? 

I want to know what's going on, but I'm finding myself stuck with my arms full of Edelgard. 

"El, please let go for a second." 

She doesn't move.

"No, I refuse. You're just going to go to that rat. He doesn't deserve you, my prince." 

I start to grow annoyed at how she still speaks about Claude, despite my many warnings.

"Let go. Now." 

I've learned before that Edelgard refuses to even consider my words if I ask nicely. Doesn't mean I enjoy talking to anyone like this, though.

More voices sound, yelling that Claude shouldn't go alone, and that it's dangerous.

I need to find Claude as soon as possible. My body seems to move on its own as I push Edelgard's small body away from mine.

She protests and tries to grab my arm, but I move away in time, successfully dodging her attempts to stop me.

I half trip over the tent to make my way towards Claude.

"Dimitri, stop!" Edelgard still shouts, but I can't find it in me to care.

Claude might be in trouble.

"Where's Claude?" I ask the guy who just called out to him after I finally reached him. 

He's not paying any attention to me though. 

"Claude… He just went there." Lysithea grabs my arm and points into the direction of the river. "Let's go, come on!" 

This little girl seemed to be important to Claude, so there's no way I'm taking her with me.

"No, it's fine. You stay here, take care of your friends." I wriggle my arm out of her tight grip and gently push her into the direction of the paralyzed boy.

She looks at me, but I don't pay her any more attention. Claude is currently sprinting towards the attacker, armed with only a bow and arrows. I need to get to him as fast as I can before he gets into any trouble himself.

I turn to my Lions, who are looking at me, waiting for a command. 

"Grab your weapons, we're going." 

A distant cry of pain fills the air. When I look, Claude's ally had gotten hurt by the attacker. 

"Mercedes, help him as soon as you're able to. Felix and Dedue, take down the enemy, but be wary of the axe." 

The three who just received their orders nod before they get to it, Dedue and Felix head out first with Mercedes trailing off right behind them.

"Ingrid, Sylvain, cover them. Ashe and Annette, try to get the other three to safety. Just remember, don't act unless it's safe enough for you to do so." 

The rest of them move out as well, hurrying to get to the small group as fast as possible. I want to protect all of them, but Claude is my personal top priority. I feel guilty for feeling this way, since he's not even the one who's in danger.

He stopped moving completely now, just standing frozen and watching his ally getting hit once more.

If anything, I'm just glad he didn't move any closer to the enemy. I don't know what I'd do if it were Claude who got cut down like that.

The thought of that happening makes my hands tremble. I need to get to him, right now.

As fast as my legs can carry me, I run towards where Claude is standing. I know that my members can handle taking down the enemy, so I'm not worried about them.

Claude eventually falls to the ground, covering his mouth with hands. I'm very worried about his mental wellbeing now. He shouldn't have to watch this, so I quickly get in front of him to block the view.

"Please… Help them, please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." 

I can hear him whisper apology after plea for help and it breaks my heart to see him like this. 

Tears are running down his face and he struggles to breathe. What can I do? 

Calm his breathing, that's most important. I'm already covering the traumatizing view, so there's no more triggers.

"Claude, Claude listen to me. Listen to my voice. It's okay, they're getting help. Can you hear me? They'll be okay." 

I grab his shoulders in an attempt to draw his attention to me instead of the fighting going on down the hill. 

Thankfully, he looks up at my face and goes quiet for a bit. He seems to try to register my presence. After a few seconds, he finally recognizes me.

"Raphael… Raphael is-" He starts, but his own crying cuts him off.

"Shh, it's okay. Raphael is going to be okay."

I obviously don't know what I'm talking about, since I can't see what's happening to Raphael, but I really want Claude to stop crying. 

I hate how much he's hurting. I want nothing more than to take it all away from him. But I can't, so I'll have to do the best I can with comforting words. He curls back in on himself, whimpering softly.

Maybe I could… 

No, that'd be wrong. I shouldn't take advantage of his current mental state. 

But at the same time… It would help him too, right? I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I held him now, to comfort him. Just this once…

I take his hands into mine from where he's clutching them against his chest. He looks up at me with teary eyes and I hate myself for how much I'm enjoying seeing him like this. 

He's completely vulnerable, emotionally unstable and unable to resist anything I'm doing.

Maybe I shouldn't, after all. What if he'll be angry afterwards? Or worse, disgusted? What if he'll hate me when he finds out how I feel about him? Will he ever look at me again, with those mischievous eyes and that so very charming smile?

I'm not sure about what to do anymore. I know very well that homosexuality is a taboo in the monastery and it's bad enough that Edelgard had figured it out so quickly. I'm thankful she hasn't told anyone, but she's using it against me in any way possible.

Should I just come clean, then? Would it be better if I just came out? I wouldn't have to worry about keeping it secret anymore, and Edelgard wouldn't have blackmail material against me anymore either. 

But what would Claude think, if he found out my feelings are directed towards him..? He'd never accept me. Am I really willing to throw away any friendship with him over the minimal chance of him being okay with what I am? 

I could never. Claude is too important for me to lose now. He's the one who helped me realize why I couldn't fall in love with Edelgard, or become attracted to any girl for that matter.

For me, there's only Claude. 

Claude, who knows how to be alone better than how to smile a real smile. Claude, who's been hurt over and over for who he is, but still stands proud. Claude… I want him, so, so badly, but I can't.

I've decided. I'm allowing myself one moment with him. Just one.

I pull his hands loose from his iron grip on my fingers, leading them towards my shirt instead. He immediately clings to it, holding on tightly as I move closer to embrace his body and pull him into my arms. 

God, he fits so perfectly.

His body shakes from his sobs, but at least he goes quiet. There's no more apologies, no more pleadings, just quiet sniffles as he buries his face in my neck. 

I run one of my hands through his hair in a hopefully comforting way. The other hand I use to rub soothingly across his back. 

The urge to kiss his head underneath his dark curls is so unbelievably strong that it scares me. I never knew how much of a creep I am, but here we are. 

He moves his hands from the front of my shirt to wrap them around my middle, returning the embrace and pushing our bodies together even more.

His sniffles have stopped in the meantime, allowing him to breathe normally again. His breath is warm against the skin of my neck and it gives me goosebumps. 

My heart starts beating so fast from the feeling, I feel like it'll move from mine to Claude's chest instead. He already has my metaphorical heart, and I wouldn't mind giving him my real one either. I'd give him anything he wants.

I wish we could stay like this forever.

Every single one of my thoughts and senses are filled with just Claude and I almost forget he's upset. 

He's so warm and comfortable against me, there's no way this is wrong. It feels so normal, so very right. Almost like we're supposed to be together.

I hold him even tighter before I realize what I'm doing. 

I need to let go of him, now. This is dangerous in every single way.

As much as I hate doing it, I pull away from him. He lets go of me easily before he wipes at his eyes.

My shirt is wet where his eyes and nose were pressed against it. I love it. My own thoughts scare me, but I can't help feeling this way. I love the idea of others being able to see that I'm the one whose shoulder he cried on. That it was me, who got him to calm down.

But most of all, I want him to realize that as well.

I wonder what it was he did to make me feel so strongly for him. How and why I became so possessive over him. So obsessed, even.

I'm deeply ashamed of it.

I can't stop myself as I wipe a stray tear from his cheek. He doesn't stop me. 

"Are you okay now?" I whisper. 

I know it's selfish to ask. He's not okay, not until his friend turns out to be alive and well, but I still want him to confirm it. I want him to tell me that he's okay now because of what I did. How disgusting.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm better. Thanks." 

I'm so relieved to hear that I made a difference. I'd go through fire for you, Claude…

I wish I could tell him that. I want to, so bad. But he'd never accept me. He'd say I'm disgusting, gross. He'd hate me, maybe even more than I hate myself. 

It can't happen. 

"Dimitri." Dedue's voice sounds behind me.

I'm trying my very best not to sound annoyed at him. It's not his fault for interrupting my special time with Claude, after all.

"Dedue, please tell us what happened." 

"The man was hurt, badly, but he lives. Mercedes and the other healer managed to save him, but unfortunately not his arm. It was amputated. Felix and I took down the attacker without any more casualties." 

Immediately, I look at Claude to see his reaction. His puffy eyes light up with relief. 

"Really? He's really alive?" He asks as if he believes Dedue would joke about it. 

"He's okay, I told you, right? Let's go see him." I stand up and offer him my hand.

He gladly takes it and stumbles around my body to hurry over to Raphael.

Dedue and I follow him. 

Claude kneels next to Raphael's unconscious body, taking his one arm into his arms and hugs it tightly.

It's unfair of me to be jealous of it, but I really can't help myself. I force out a smile when I notice Dedue is looking at me. He doesn't need to know how I really feel.

As if he believes me. He's one of the very few people who can distinguish my real from my fake smiles, but even so, he doesn't comment on it.

All I do is watch as Claude hugs his other members. He's smiling again, so I'm happy about that, but he didn't smile at me. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 

I should never have hugged him. I'm becoming more greedy and possessive every time I see Claude do literally anything.

The other Lions come up to me to report on what happened, but I'm barely listening to them. I'm proud and happy they won, but my attention lies elsewhere. 

Claude… 

God, I love you.


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally thought of a better title!! God I hated my previous one but I just didn't know any better title until now :)  
> This changes nothing for the story or plot though so no worries about that
> 
> AND OMG 900+ hits that makes me so incredibly happy and all you lovelies that kudo'd and bookmarked and commented me, you're amazing I hope you know that. You know who you are ;) 
> 
> Here's a longer chapter than normal, hope you enjoy :)

I can't believe my eyes. Raphael is fine, he's safe.

His left arm was amputated from the elbow down, but he's alive. Marianne and the cleric from the Blue Lions did an amazing job. I'll be thankful forever.

It's hard to process just what exactly happened. One moment I'm watching Raphael get slashed by an axe, next Dimitri is everywhere around me and now Raphael is okay.

Oh my god, he's okay.

Hilda and Leonie are both crying next to where Raphael is lying on the ground and Lorenz is standing up straight, watching over Raphael as well.

"I'm sorry, Raphael" is all he says. 

He looks incredibly pale. Not surprising, he probably didn't expect to be attacked on the way back towards the monastery.

It's weird. I thought that particular infected was dead when I shot it. Maybe that's a difference between the slow and the normal-moving ones? We'll probably need to kill those twice before they're down for good, and the arrow in the throat was just the first time I killed it.

That's troubling. We've only fought those who were already dead, so I never considered there could be more to the infected. I've underestimated them.

But then that means… I actually killed a person. I took the life from somebody. 

I fight the urge to throw up since I'm still sitting in front of Raphael. The last thing I want for him is to lie here in my vomit.

"Hey, are you okay?" Dimitri is back at my side, soothingly running his hand over my back. It's comforting.

I take a deep breath before I try to reply but it feels like if I open my mouth, I'll throw up anyway. The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach won't leave.

I decide to just nod instead.

He smiles at me and it's so soft and sweet, I momentarily forget the disgusting taste in my mouth.

"I'm so glad he's okay. I wasn't sure if we'd make it in time." His voice is gentle.

The hand on my back doesn't stop moving. I allow him to comfort me this way until I feel well enough to talk again. 

"What happened?" I eventually manage to ask him. 

"I sent my own group down to save yours as soon as I heard they were in trouble. A few of my members managed to defeat the enemy in time before it could hurt anyone else. Raphael was taken care of by Mercedes and your healer, and the other three could escape unharmed. That's all I can tell you though, I don't have any more details. I was with you, so I didn't see how it happened exactly." 

He sent his own friends out there to save mine..? That's…

"Thank you, that's really kind of you to do. I'll make sure to thank your other members as well." 

I make an effort to get up and do that immediately, but Dimitri actually stops me from doing so by taking hold of my wrist and keeping me seated next to him.

"You'll have plenty of time to do that. How about you just stay here, with your friends. They need you right now." 

I look back at the small group that split up from mine a few days prior. Even though I really don't like they did that, they are still my friends, aren't they? 

"Yeah, you're right." 

I settle back next to Dimitri and it could just be my imagination, but he seems to shuffle just a little bit closer to me, closing the already small distance between us. I can't say it bothers me, the warmth of his body is actually very welcome.

His hand stopped moving, but it's still resting between my shoulder blades. Kind of a weird thing to do, but I'm not going to comment on it. 

Hilda suddenly stands up from where she was sitting and heads over to me to sit on my other side.

"I'm so sorry. We should have never split up from you guys. How stupid of us." She sniffles loudly before she nestles herself against my side, pressing into me. 

I hug her small body, pulling her closer against my own. I missed them so much.

"Don't worry about it. Just stay with me from now on." 

"What do you mean?" She asks. "It's over. We can go back inside." 

A terribly bad feeling settles in my gut at her words. Is it really over, though? I have nothing but doubts at that statement.

I look behind me, back at the monastery. All I see is the Black Eagles, standing proudly on top of the hill. They don't even seem like they care about what just happened to Raphael.

But the Gate Bridge is still closed and from what I can see, there still isn't anyone in the watching towers.

"It is over, right?" Hilda asks, obvious uncertainty tainting her voice.

I can't answer that. Dimitri is awfully quiet as well. Does that mean he believes me now? 

"Claude, why aren't you answering?" Leonie speaks up suddenly.

It doesn't sound accusing, but I'm wary of her way of thinking. Last time I gave her a wrong answer, she ended up betraying me after all.

It seems I'm quiet for too long, Dimitri is the one who answers instead of me.

"Can you give Claude a break, please? He doesn't have all the answers either." 

His sassy tone surprises me. And it's not just me who's surprised, Leonie frowns and even Lorenz looks at him with big eyes.

Lorenz decides to finally open his mouth now.

"Well, Claude always acts like he does, as if he knows everything. So why can't he answer this one simple question? It's so very tiresome how he's always hiding things from the rest of us. That, in fact, is the whole reason we split up in the first place." Now he's definitely accusing me.

I decide to shut him up, once and for all.

"No, it's not over, okay Lorenz? No one inside the monastery gives a shit about us and they've been planning on leaving us out here to die from the beginning.  
No one is going to open those walls for us today, or any day for that matter. We're stuck out here, we're completely on our own. And we're all going to die if you keep being such a pain in the fucking ass.  
And for the record, it's all because of your stupid arrogance that this happened to Raphael. Got that? Does that answer satisfy you enough? Can you finally get off my back now?" 

Lorenz just stares, rendered completely speechless. Leonie turns her attention back to Raphael to run a hand through his hair. Dimitri actually pulls his hand off my back.

"...So we're all going to die?" Hilda is the only one who dares to say anything after my outburst.

I take a moment to calm down before I answer her.

"No. No, I won't let you." 

We don't need the monastery to survive. Sure, it's an easy life, but nothing about my life has ever been easy. I'll get these people somewhere safe, no matter what I have to do to reach that goal. 

I failed once before, back with the women, because I was too young to do anything. But that's no longer an excuse. I'm different now, older. I'm capable of doing what needs to be done and that's exactly what I'll do from now on. 

I'm not taking Lorenz' bullshit anymore, I'm not allowing anyone to laze around anymore and I'm not getting distracted by old memories or fears anymore.

This is it, this is real. We're no longer being tested by Rhea, this is a test from whatever cruel God is up there, and I'm ready to take it.

.

"Marianne, check on Raphael's wounds. If anything's off, give note to the healer of the Blue Lions and see if you guys can help it." 

"Yes! I-I'll do that…" She gets up to check on Raphael immediately. He's currently resting in Lysithea's tent, since that was the only one still standing.

Raphael was carried back up the hill by a few members of the Blue Lions. I hate that we couldn't do that ourselves, but Raphael was the powerhouse of my Deer. We now simply lack the physical strength to do anything of much impact.

I'm extremely grateful to Dimitri and his group. They've been an amazing help and I wonder if I could ever hope to repay them. 

I'll do my very best though.

It's already late in the afternoon and as I already knew, no gate has opened for us. The Black Eagles are still hanging around, but even they seem to be losing their faith. 

"Perhaps they didn't count our first day and they'll open the walls tomorrow." Edelgard tries to reassure them.

"That doesn't even make sense! We'll be out here longer than three nights, there's no way they can miscount our nights." A tall guy with wavy orange hair booms. 

"HEY! Open the walls already! Someone got badly hurt, we need help!" 

"Caspar!" Edelgard hisses at the light blue haired boy. "Stop screaming like that, where are your manners?!" 

Linhardt yawns. "As if he even has any." 

"Are you maybe looking for a fight? At least I'm trying to save us here!" Caspar challenges Linhardt.

"No thanks, I think I'll just take a nap instead." 

"Linny, how can you be calm enough to sleep right now? We should have been allowed back inside the monastery by now." A girl with long brown hair whines.

"Stop giving Lady Edelgard a hard time, all of you. All we can do right now is just wait. So stop your ridiculous behavior and be quiet." 

"Thank you, Hubert." Edelgard massages her temples with her fingers. 

As if she's got anything to have a headache over. Well, maybe the fact that Dimitri has practically been clinging to my side.

He hasn't left my side for more than five seconds ever since the incident with Raphael. His members are trying very hard to distract him, but all he seems to focus on is me.

It doesn't bother me, not yet, but I'm sure it won't be long until it starts to get annoying. There's no need for him to keep such a close eye on me, it's not like I'm the one who got hurt. 

"Uhm… C-Claude?" 

Seems Marianne is done with checking on Raphael.

"Yes, how is he?" 

"He's doing okay… H-he's still unconscious, but he's stable. Seems the blood loss wasn't as severe as we thought at first…" 

Well, that buffed up body of his has his perks after all.

"That's good. Keep an eye on him regularly, I don't want to have to remind you constantly." 

"Y-yes, understood!" 

It's amazing to see how everyone's much more willing to cooperate now. Hilda and Leonie are keeping watch together, even without me having told them to. And even Lorenz put his book away to help Ignatz make more arrows. I'm glad they all finally understand our situation, though I hate that Raph had to suffer in order to obtain this.

"Claude, what should we do now?" Dimitri asks once we're somewhat alone. 

There are still people around us, but most of them aren't within hearing range and the ones who are, are too busy with each other to hear us.

"I'm still waiting for a chance to talk to Linhardt. If his information is even the slightest bit useful, I might be able to figure out a course of action." 

He nods in understanding. "But what if it's something we already know?" 

Right, 'we'. Since Dimitri's been sticking to my side, trying to help me wherever he can, I'd figured it'd be better if I told him everything I know and all that happened to me. 

I told him about Tomas, what he really said to me back then and my reaction to it. I told him about what Seteth had done that night before we went outside, and that the fading marks on my throat are from his fingers. I told him about Lysithea's nightmares, what my theory is about them. And so I also told him about why I think we're being abandoned by the monastery.

He'd stayed quiet the whole time I was talking, but his eyes give away his feelings easily. They tell me all I need to know about what he thinks of my theories, but he never verbally expressed his doubts to me. I'm thankful for that.

"If it's something we already know..." I begin, but I'm not quite sure how to finish. "Never mind that. We'll figure something out if that happens."

I'd be so incredibly disappointed if it turned out like that. There's no way of knowing, though, at least until we ask. 

"Understood. Would you like to go and ask him now?" 

I look back at the Black Eagles. Most of them are still arguing, but the man in question is fast asleep. Wow, seriously? I thought Lysithea was joking when she said he sleeps a lot.

"One of us can go ask as soon as he wakes up." 

Edelgard will hinder me if I'm planning to wake him up myself and that's the last thing I need right now. 

"Okay" is his simple reply.

.

The sun is setting quickly, which is not a good thing. The fire's gone out because of the chaos during noon and there's only one tent standing. 

I head over to the Deer that are all huddled against each other just outside of the tent Raphael is resting in.

I somehow managed to lose Dimitri during dinner, so I'm by myself again.

"If any of you want to sleep in a tent, now would be a good time to set it up. I'll try to get a fire going." 

Hilda and Lorenz get up immediately to set up their tents, while Leonie, Ignatz and Marianne stay right where they are. Leonie allows Lysithea to use her tent, since Raphael has Lysithea's.

"Excuse me, are you Claude?" An unfamiliar voice asks from behind me.

I don't like it when anyone stands behind me, especially when I don't expect it. I turn around quickly, almost reaching for the dagger on my waist.

The unfamiliar voice belongs to the healer of the Blue Lions I see now, and I feel silly for almost attacking her.

"Yeah, that's me. Everything alright?" 

She chuckles.

"Oh, my. I'm sorry, did I surprise you? I didn't mean to. My name is Mercedes, very nice to meet you. Anyways, I wanted to ask if you have some time to discuss Raphael's state. I noticed Marianne doesn't seem to talk much, so I could explain in her stead." 

Wow, another angel.

"If you don't mind. I'd really appreciate that." 

She gestures for me to follow her towards the rest of the Lions, where they created a nice sitting spot using their sleeping bags.

Dimitri's eyes seem to light up when he sees me heading his way, but he looks away just as quickly.

I don't know if I feel comfortable with sitting in the middle of a group of people I barely know, but now would probably be a nice chance to stop being antisocial. 

"You can sit right here, if you'd like." 

I look at the spot she pointed out. It's a cozy spot on her sleeping bag next to the small ginger girl. 

"Come on, there's plenty of room!" Said girl pats the seat impatiently.

I smile at the gesture. She reminds me a little bit of Lysithea, but a cheerful version.

I barely sit down and a batch of cookies is pressed into my face already. 

"Here, have some! Mercie and I made them right before we left, so they're still fresh enough to eat." 

"Oh, Annie. Let him sit properly first." Mercedes chuckles again before she squishes into the seat next to me.

"Would you like some tea as well?" She offers me a cup she filled with a black liquid. "It's not warm because we don't have a fire, but I promise it's just as good when it's cold!" 

I take the cup from her with a thank-you and to please Annie, I take a cookie from her as well.

"You people need to stop forcing your sweet crap on others. Not everyone is obsessed like you." 

The ginger girl glares at the guy who just spoke up. 

"Shush it, Felix! He likes my cookies." She turns to me. "Don't you?" 

If there's anything I've learned from little girls, it's that you always agree with them if you want to prevent a glare and a pout.

So, I take a bite from the cookie and swallow it. She looks at me expectantly.

"These are great." 

Her eyes sparkle before she turns back to Felix to rub it in his face. Of course, he doesn't relent from his statement and they actually manage to take their argument about sweet things to another level.

"Hey now, don't bully each other. We're all friends here, so why don't you hug to make up?" 

"Shut up, Sylvain! I swear, you people are all the same." Felix' glare moves from the small girl to Sylvain, who looks entirely unimpressed.

"Can you guys just both shut up and appreciate Annette's and Mercedes' efforts?" The blonde girl says with her mouth full with cookies.

"I appreciate them!" Sylvain defends. "Just in a different way than you do." He adds with a wink.

The girl makes a gagging sound and by doing so, a chunk of her cookie falls out of her mouth. 

"Oh my god." Her cheeks flush red in embarrassment.

"That's what you get from stuffing your mouth so full, Ingrid." Felix bites.

The others all laugh loudly and I laugh along.

These people are actually a lot more fun to be around than I thought. I'm pleasantly surprised by that.

While the others engage in a conversation amongst themselves, Mercedes turns to me to get my attention.

"Can I tell you a small secret?" She asks, there's a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

That can't be good.

"Is it Raphael?" She did lure me here to talk about him after all.

For some reason, she giggles. "No, no. Nothing of the sort. I actually used Raphael as an excuse to get you here. You see…" 

She leans closer to me to whisper something in my ear. I let her.

"Dimitri has been staring at you the whole time we've been around you-" 

At the mention of his name, I turn my vision to where he's sitting. Like Mercedes just said, he was indeed staring.

It's like he's trying very hard to hear what Mercedes is telling me, but he obviously can't hear it over the chattering of the others. 

"-and I have an idea of why he is, but I can't tell you that. I just wanted a confirmation." She pulls away from my ear and looks at Dimitri as well to smile at him innocently.

There's no way he doesn't know we were talking about him and that causes him to blush and look away from us with a frown.

Never mind the angel thing, she's dangerous.

"Here, have another cookie!" Annette shows me the batch once more. 

"Oh, thanks." I take another one which earns me a pleased smile. I smile back at her.

A certain realization dawns on me.

"Wait, what do you mean you only used Raph as an excuse? You're not going to tell me about how he's doing?" 

Mercedes looks surprised before her pleasant smile returns to her face.

"Oh, Claude. Don't worry about Raphael. Marianne is a very capable healer, he's in good hands with her. He'll regain consciousness tomorrow, I'm sure of it." 

Phew, that's relieving. 

"Thank you, by the way, for saving him." 

I turn to the rest of the Lions as well.

"Actually, thank all of you. You saved my group. I don't know how I can repay you, but I'll make sure to find a way. I promise." 

They're all just staring at me with big eyes. Did I say something weird? 

I look at Dimitri. He's smiling at me, but doesn't say anything.

"Did you just-" Ingrid swallows what was left of her cookie. "Did you just thank us for doing the right thing?" 

"Yeah, dude. You don't need to thank us for that. If anything, we're just happy that no one died." Sylvain adds.

"It was good training." 

"Oh my god, Felix. Is training all you ever think about?" 

"Yes. Just like how food is all you ever think about." 

Ingrid and Felix start bickering again.

"I know what it's like to be attacked by one of those people. I'm sorry we couldn't get there before he got hurt." That boy must be Ashe.

"Yes. It is a shame we were too late." The dark man next to Dimitri finishes.

The kindness of these people astounds me. I don't know what to say to that, so I silently thank them again.

"Dimitri," Mercedes starts, " I have something to discuss with Dedue, would you mind switching seats for a bit?"

"Switch seats..?" He looks at me, then back to Mercedes. 

Then he nods eagerly and they both stand up to swap their seats. 

Mercedes immediately engages in a conversation with Dedue, but I notice she's keeping a close eye on Dimitri. 

What is she on about? It makes me a little uncomfortable how everything just goes the way she wants, and I don't know what it is she's after. 

Dimitri sits down rather awkwardly on the spot Mercedes was previously occupying. He tenses up when our sides press together.

His body is much bigger than Mercedes', he hardly fits on the sleeping bag next to me. 

I don't know why, but he's been very quiet ever since I joined his clique.

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask, I don't want to make him uncomfortable in front of his own people after all.

"No! I mean, please don't leave. I'm sorry if I don't talk much." 

He fidgets a little with his fingers. It's obvious he wants to say more.

"No, it's fine. I just thought I was the reason for that." 

I'm not sure how to ask him to tell me all that's on his mind, so maybe he'll tell me himself.

"Not at all, I just… I was a bit scared that you didn't want to be around me anymore. Since well, I've been forcing my presence on you all afternoon." He laughs when he's done talking, but it doesn't sound sincere.

Why is he always so nervous around me? 

"Trust me, I would have told you if it bothered me. Don't worry so much." 

"Claude! I'm cold, where's that fire at?" Hilda whines at me from where Lorenz is setting up her tent for her.

Crap, I forgot.

"Aw, looks like you have to leave already." Annette offers me her cookies one more time. "Last one?" She asks.

I smile, but politely reject. It earns her an 'I told you so' from Felix. 

"You're leaving already?" Ingrid asks after taking the cookie that I refused.

"Yeah, duty calls." I wipe my hands off my pants before I use them to get myself back on my feet.

"That's a shame, I would have liked to get to know you a little better before you went." 

Not surprising Ashe and Ignatz are friends. They're both such cinnamon rolls.

"Well, in all honesty, I'd rather make Hilda's fire burn too instead of hanging around us here." 

A punch against Sylvain's arm from Ingrid makes him wince in pain.

I finally understand what Dimitri meant when he said Sylvain is woman-obsessed. Though, I can't help but feel like it's all an act. 

"Will you come back after?" Dimitri asks carefully. 

"Don't you guys want any fire? Because you could also just move closer to where I'm going to make the fire." 

The Lions look around at each other.

Mercedes claps her hands to draw attention to her. "That sounds like a wonderful idea! Why don't you all lay out our sleeping bags as well, and then we can make one big bed to sleep on later?" 

"Oh my god, like a giant sleepover! I love that!" 

Annette is allowed to join the cinnamon-roll squad.

"That's ridiculous. I don't want a giant sleepover." 

"Don't be such a party pooper, Felix. The girls want a giant sleepover, so it's up to us men to give them what they want." 

"Shut up, Sylvain. I don't care about any girls." 

Ingrid meddles with their argument in an attempt to shush it, but they all end up arguing with each other again.

Wow, just as rowdy as my own bunch. 

I look at Dimitri one more time to say bye. 

"I hope you don't mind the giant sleepover. It's just, once Annette wants something, nothing can stop her anymore." 

Hearing that makes me laugh. "No, not at all. We could definitely use your positive vibes after today. I'll let you know when our fire is ready." 

He smiles at that. "We'll see you then." 

.

The giant sleepover happens, and it's more a giant mess than anything.

Annette's cookies were thrown over all the sleeping bags, scattering crumbs everywhere. Both Lysithea and Ingrid got pissed off at that and attacked Felix.

Mercedes practically pushed me in Dimitri's lap, saying there was barely enough room for everyone to sit. Despite the fact that there was plenty of room on her other side, Dimitri didn't even protest. I ended up sitting with one of my legs over his and that seemed to satisfy Mercedes enough to back off.

Hilda and Sylvain flirted obscenely with each other and I'm glad Lysithea was too occupied to hear them. Poor Annette though, she looked like she wanted to be anywhere but near them.

Ashe and Ignatz were pulled into an arm-wresting contest with Leonie. Lorenz had to be the judge.

Dedue decided to be responsible and keep watch. I'm sure it had more to do with the fact that everyone was too loud, and he just didn't feel comfortable with that.

The sleepover lasted until late at night. Despite the mess, I'm glad everyone got along with each other. To be honest, I was a little afraid of our groups getting together, but that was completely unnecessary.

Before I get some shut-eye myself, I head over to Raphael to check on him.

He's lying on his back, a peaceful expression adorning his face. The red bandage around his left elbow bothers me, but I'm glad he's alive.

I wonder how he'll react when he sees his arm.

Mercedes said that he'll wake up tomorrow. I really hope so, but I'm also dreading it. 

Lysithea is the only one who's still awake by the time I return from my visit.

"How is he?" 

"He's okay, given the circumstances." I reply. "What about you, can't sleep?" 

She shakes her head. "There's crumbs everywhere on my sleeping bag. It's terribly uncomfortable." 

"Mine is still relatively crumb free, we can switch if you like." 

"Oh, no thank you. I'm sure someone would mind if they woke up next to me, rather than you." Her voice is teasing.

"What?" I'm confused.

"You heard me. Go sleep." 

And I'm dismissed, just like that. What is up with everyone today? 

.

"Claude, Claude! Wake up!" 

I groggily reply, I don't even know what I'm saying, before I turn over to lie on my other side.

"Claude, please. It's important." 

Is that Dimitri? What the hell does he want now? 

"Be careful, Claude's mood is terrible in the morning. He might bite off your hand." 

I can't focus enough to hear who says that. It sounds like Ignatz, though.

"Yeah, leave me be." I mutter against the fabric my head is lying on.

"Claude, just listen. The Black Eagles are gone." 

"Ah, okay." 

Slowly, his words get a meaning in my foggy mind.

I sit up immediately.

"They're what?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably be posting longer chapters from now on, I hope y'all don't mind that
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading! :)

"What do you mean, 'they're gone'? Didn't you stop them?" 

What a great way to wake up.

"Sorry, I only saw it when I woke up. I'm not sure of when they left. It could have been last night even." 

Dimitri at least has the decency to look apologetic. 

"Well, great. Please tell me you talked to Linhardt before they went." 

He stays quiet for a while. "...I'm sorry." 

I groan in irritation. Is he kidding me right now? 

"Okay then, where'd they go?" I try. He's got to know something.

"...I don't know" 

"Edelgard is your fucking girlfriend. You're saying she didn't tell you anything? That you have no idea of where she could have gone? For fuck's sake, Dimitri!" 

He startles. "I'm sorry" he says again.

"Is that all you got, seriously?!" I get up and walk off, away from Dimitri and everyone else.

I swear, he's got his head up his ass or something.

"Don't worry about him. He's just really not approachable in the morning. I'm sure he'll be fine again later." I can still hear Ignatz try to assure Dimitri.

That's all I hear before I block out their conversation, though.

I'm so pissed right now. I still needed to talk to Linhardt, but it completely slipped my mind last night. You'd think Dimitri would remember to do that, but he's just fucking useless.

I told him absolutely everything, and he can't even do this one thing to help me? Do I need to do everything on my own?

At least I know where that leaves us.

And where the fuck did Edelgard go? Did she maybe lead her group back to the village? Did the walls open, to let just them inside? Has literally no one seen anything at all?! 

"FUCK!" I scream as loudly as I can.

Anyone who wasn't awake yet surely is now. I can't even feel bothered by it.

"Wow, what's up with him?" I don't know who Hilda's talking to, but her obnoxious voice is really not helping.

It better not be Lorenz, though. I'm ready to punch him as soon as I hear him say anything about me.

"Just leave him be." Ignatz repeats. 

"We can't actually leave him be, though. What if he gets attacked? Someone needs to back him up." Lysithea says.

God, they're annoying. I move even further away from them, so that they're completely out of hearing range.

I need to clear my head. There's no reason to be angry. We'll just look for the Black Eagles. It's just an extra task on my to-do list. That's all.

And it's not like we don't have time to spend on doing that. We have all the time in the world now. No obligations, except to survive. 

Yes, sure, that's fine. This is fine. No one knows what to do, no one cares either. That's fine. Everyone apparently became suicidal since realizing the walls aren't opening. That is also fine.

"It's all. Fucking. FINE!" 

I don't even realize how far I've been walking until I find myself surrounded by trees. 

Fuck me sideways. 

Okay calm down, Claude. Just go back in the direction you came from. That'll do it. 

Uhm… Which direction was that again?

Should I call out for help? Though, I honestly doubt anyone would come and save me after my rage fit.

I sigh. Why did I even do that?

I'm sure they all hate me now. There's no way they'll listen to me again. If I ever make it back, that is. 

A small movement in the corner of my eye catches my attention. I try to focus my sight on it, but I can't see any other movements. 

Was that my imagination? There's no way. 

I'm being as quiet as I possibly can, still focusing on the spot I saw something move just now. It wouldn't surprise me if any infected is sitting there, planning to kill me.

But at the same time, they're brainless. They aren't able to perform any sneak attack.

I take my dagger into my hand, just in case. I'm such an idiot, walking right into the forest. 

I'm secretly hoping someone followed me, but the chance of that is very slim. Way to go, Claude. 

A sound just a little up ahead betrays the presence of something. 

"Who's there?" 

It may seem stupid to call out to something that wants to murder me, but in my opinion, it's best to see it before it can surprise me. And besides, if it's a normal person, they might need help.

For a long time, there's nothing.

It doesn't ease my nerves in the slightest. I'm getting more and more tense and uncomfortable the longer the silence continues on.

"Hello?" I try again. 

Maybe I should run. But how do I run without turning my back towards a potential danger? 

Easy. I can't. 

Instead, I move towards the closest tree and press my back against it. This way I have my back covered at least. 

This is getting ridiculous. Why is it taking so long? No infected has ever waited for an opportunity to attack, leading me to think that I'm not up against one in the first place.

But then what is it? An animal, maybe? 

Let's see, Lysithea had a book on wildlife that lives around this area. Could it be a deer then? Or perhaps a bunny or something.

The thought of me being this scared of a bunny makes me laugh. Now that'd be silly.

But if it's an animal, surely my voice had scared it off. That means it left when I called out to it. And since no infected has torn out my throat yet, that's the most logical explanation. 

Do I feel stupid now. 

I push myself away from the tree and look around once more. Nothing specifically catches my attention, so I can go back to finding a way out of here.

Did I take any turns? Because if I didn't, I could just turn around and walk right out. 

Well, it's worth a shot.

I turn around and my body collides with something, causing me to stumble back and trip over some fallen branches. My head hits the tree behind me, hard, and my consciousness slips away less than a second after.

.

A dull throbbing in the back of my head is the reason I wake up again. There's voices around me, but I can't really hear what they're saying. 

What the hell happened?

I vaguely remember the presence of an infected threatening me in the forest. No, wait. That's not right… 

Was there even an infected? I don't remember. I groan loudly in frustration. 

Why was I even in the forest? It's dangerous there. I should know better than to go alone. 

But was I alone? If not, who was with me? 

"Oh, you're finally awake. I-I'm glad." 

The person next to me puts a hand on my forehead. The hand is cool, it's a nice feeling. 

"Ow…" Is all I manage to get out of my mouth. 

"I know, you hit your head pretty hard. You were bleeding, even. I'll heal it for you." The voice is soothing. 

"Thanks, Marie." It is Marie, right? It sounds like her at least.

The warmth of her magic flows through the front of my head all the way to the back, where the throbbing is coming from. The pain fades almost immediately.

"Claude! Are you stupid? What were you thinking?!" A less soothing voice infiltrates my relaxed mind. 

"P-please don't shout right now… I think he has a concussion." 

"Screw that, time to wake up! Get up right now, Claude! Explain yourself!" 

Is that Lysithea? Damn, her voice is obnoxious too. 

...Too? Who else has an obnoxious voice, then?

"Ow…" I try again. 

"If you think I'll have any sympathy for you if you say that, think again buddy. You called this on yourself." 

What is she even talking about? I'm pretty sure I didn't hit myself in the head with a brick.

"Uhm… Could you please leave? He needs a quiet environment right now, so I can heal the damage better…" 

Marie is such an angel. I wish there were more of them.

Lysithea huffs. "Fine! But if he isn't up by the time we're having lunch, I'm coming for him." She promises. 

Then she leaves, leaving Marie and me alone. That's much better.

"Where's Dimitri?" I casually ask, but the question surprises me. 

Is he supposed to be here? No, something happened, I'm sure of it. But why did he leave? Was I angry? I think I was angry, but I can't remember why I was for the life of me.

"He went… He left with his group. Uhm… He said they were going to search for Edelgard." 

"Ah, Edelgard." I pause, thinking hard.

"Who was Edelgard again?" 

"It's probably good if you get some more rest. I-I think you might have… Well, amnesia. But it's not permanent, I hope." 

Her soft hand moves through my hair for a much too short time before I hear shuffling. A cold gust of wind blows against my face and I barely register the sound of a zipper closing before my consciousness drifts off again.

.

"Claude, get up! We've been waiting long enough now. This isn't funny anymore!" 

Lysithea's loud voice wakes me up.

"Five more minutes…" I turn my body away from the obnoxious sound of her voice.

"No, right now! We're on our own again, we need you! Stop sleeping and take some responsibility. Unless you want Lorenz to take over your position after all." 

"Huh?" 

Why would Lorenz want my position? What is my postion even? 

"Don't you 'huh' me. GET UP!" 

That's scary.

"Okay mom, no need to yell like that." 

I'd really like to sleep a little longer, but I guess that isn't an option as long as she's still here. 

It takes a few tries before I can actually keep my eyes open, the bright light in the tent is making that very difficult to do.

At least the throbbing in my head stopped. I sit up and scratch my bare stomach with a yawn.

"Are you going to keep watching me? I'm not wearing a shirt, you know."

"What? No, I was- Just hurry up!" She sputters before she quickly gets out of the tent.

Heh, what a funny girl.

I take a look at the shirt that was lying next to me. A giant bloodstain on the back prevents me from putting it on. Gross. 

I guess I'm not wearing a shirt then. It's not like I have anything to be ashamed of. 

At least I think so… A glance over my chest and stomach reassures me. There's a small mole just above my right hipbone, but the rest of my skin is fair. Except for my nipples of course, but it's not like I'm the only person who has any.

I stretch my arms above my head before I follow Lysithea out of my tent.

"Good morning, everyone!" 

"Oh my god, cover up!" Lysithea covers her vision with her hands.

"Actually, it's way past morning, Claude." Leonie corrects me.

Oh.

"Good way past morning, everyone!" I greet just as cheerfully as the first time.

Lorenz slaps his hand against his forehead and Ignatz chuckles. Leonie rolls her eyes at me.

"Good way past morning to you, too! Hilda replies excitedly.

I join my squad where they're sitting in front of the fire.

"So, what's on the menu? I'm hungry." 

Lysithea abruptly pulls her hands away from her eyes to give me an incredulous look.

"The same as the past three days maybe? What is up with you today?" 

Huh? 

"What do you mean, 'what is up with me'? I'm feeling great! Marie did a nice job with my head." 

"...Marie?" Lysithea questions.

"Yes, this glum-looking girl right here." I pat Marie's back and she lets out a small sound of discomfort.

"That's Marianne, you idiot. Not Marie." 

Really?

"Same thing, I'm sure Marianne," I make sure to stress the name, "doesn't even mind if I call her Marie. Do you?" I turn to her.

She just shakes her head in denial. Perfect. 

I give Lorenz a smug smile. He stares before he looks away, shrugging indifferently.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Ignatz asks carefully.

"How about we find some good food to eat instead of this canned crap." I offer.

"Seriously, who are you and what did you do with Claude?" Even Leonie is coming after my wig now.

"What do you mean? I'm yours truly, Claude." 

"'Yours truly, Claude' would worry about other things than our 'canned crap'." 

I'm so confused. I'm pretty sure I know my own name.

"What's there to worry about? I got everything under control." 

I receive a few doubtful stares. 

"U-uhm… Claude is likely suffering from amnesia… I don't think it's permanent though!" Marie clarifies.

Pfft, I don't have amnesia. I know exactly what's going on. 

"No, I don't. You see, we have nothing to worry about, because I have a plan." I point at the monastery. "That, right there, is our objective. We need to get in there, but we obviously can't because the walls are closed." 

The others look at me like I lost my mind. 

"Maybe," Ignatz interrupts, "you should go lie down again." 

"No, wait! I wanna hear his idea." Hilda protests. "This is going to be great."

"Yes, Hilda, thank you. Where was I? Oh, right. We can't get in, because the walls are closed. But there's a very easy way to overcome that. We just need a giant slingshot." 

Hilda bursts out in laughter.

"And then what, fire ourselves over the wall?" Lysithea crosses her arms over her chest.

"Are you insane?" Lorenz looks utterly shocked.

"Please don't tell me you're serious…" Even Ignatz looks like he just lost all of his faith in me.

They're really no fun at all.

I sigh. "Of course not. How would we land? Listen, the most obvious way to get back in, aside from the Gate Bridge, would be through underground." 

Hilda's laughter stops immediately.

"You want to dig a tunnel? That's going to take forever!" 

Ignatz is quick to agree. "Hilda's right, and we can't even use Raphael now… I doubt we could pull it off." 

"Who said anything about digging it ourselves? I don't know how you think the knights get out of the monastery, but I don't remember the Gate Bridge being lowered that often." 

There's a short silence.

"Oh, right! That means they have a different way to get in and out of the walls, one that's much faster and easier to use!" 

"Exactly, Lysithea. Good girl." 

She looks satisfied with herself.

"Wow, I never really thought about that. You might actually be right." Leonie ponders.

Psh, of course I'm right. 

"So what do you propose, then? We just have to start looking for some random tunnel around here and hope for the best? Don't you think we'd have seen it already, if it even exists?" Lorenz raises an eyebrow at me.

Challenge accepted.

"Well, Lorenz, we wouldn't be sent out here if the way back inside was that obvious. Of course they'd hide it. We just have to find the location and bam! We're back in. Surprise motherfucker. They'll never see us coming." 

"I like this new version of Claude. He's so much happier." Hilda smiles broadly.

Am I really?

"It'd be a lot easier to take him seriously if he was wearing a shirt, though." Leonie points out. 

"Well, I suppose that makes sense." Lorenz is quick to relent. I wonder if he hit his head too. "Where do you want us to start looking?" 

Now that's a good question.

"I wasn't that far with my plan yet, but I'll let you know when I think of something." I wink at him.

"Unbelievable" he mutters under his breath.

Ha, gotcha. Either way, it'd be a good time to start thinking about the answer to his question. 

Lysithea hands me a can of food. "Just eat something, you haven't had breakfast yet." 

"Okay, mom" I reply, to which she rolls her eyes but smiles anyways.

.

Ignatz and Leonie informed me of what happened before I went on my sightseeing trip to the forest. 

My whole memory is a little fuzzy, but both of them have been a great help with filling in the gaps.

Now I'm just trying to piece some things together.

All I know right now, is that the village the Black Eagles went to is a very important piece of the puzzle.

Edelgard had a map of the area. That map only really projected the village to the east, which is where she headed immediately. Why though? 

There has to be something there, so that's where we're going next. As soon as Raph is up and ready to go.

I can't care much for the Black Eagles right now, even though I was very fixated on finding them before. Neither Ignatz nor Leonie had an answer to why, so I'm letting that go. 

However, I am a bit worried about the Blue Lions. Apparently Dimitri is trying to find the Black Eagles and he went into the forest to look for them there. 

He's also the one who went after me and brought me back to camp when I went into the forest by myself. 

Like a princess being rescued by a prince. How romantic.

I can't afford to go after him, though. The village is just calling out to me and I can't ignore it anymore.

There's too many secrets and I need to know what they're about.

"Marie? How's Raph?" 

She startles. I guess she didn't expect to be called upon.

"Oh, uhm… I think he's doing okay now. I-I'll go check on him, just to be sure." 

I follow after her. I want to see what she does in there.

She looks at me, but doesn't comment on my presence. Neat.

She takes a brief look at his bandaged arm before she concludes that the bandage needs to be changed. 

"Uhm…" 

Silence.

"Yes?" I thought she got over this behavior.

"C-could you maybe… Would you like to get me some clean water, please?" 

Ah, she was going to ask a favor. 

"Of course, no worries. I'll be right back." 

I crawl out of the tent to start my search for water. After looking through every bag I see, however, I come to the conclusion that we're out of water.

"Ignatz, Hilda, Lysithea, come! We are in dire need of water and you all shall accompany me down to the river. Leonie and Lorenz, guard the fort! No enemies shall get past you." 

Hilda's loud laughter and Ignatz' soft chuckles fill the air. 

"Why is he talking like that?" Lysithea asks. 

"I doubt even he himself knows." Lorenz answers with a sigh.

I ignore them all in favor or rummaging through the supplies that are scattered around everywhere. Where is it? 

"If you're looking for your bow, it's in your tent." Leonie tells me.

"No, that's not it…" 

"Then what are you looking for? Maybe I could help." Ignatz tries to be useful. He's such a sweet thing.

"The spare sword" I lament. 

"Spare sword..?" He repeats. 

"I believe Felix said it was his, so he took it back. It's gone." Lysithea points out.

"Wow, he forgot almost everything, but the sword he remembers?" Even Leonie is laughing now.

I feel somewhat proud of that accomplishment.

I take my bow and quiver and place them where I can reach them easily. I'm about to ask if everyone else is ready when a specific item catches my eye.

I pick it up and head over to Lorenz, showing him what I picked up. 

"Lance" I tell him loud and clear. "To attack." I demonstrate how to slash and stab with it before I hand it to him.

The others snicker at my short presentation.

"Haha, very funny. I know how to use a lance." Lorenz rolls his eyes. 

"Great. Please use it from now on." 

I make sure to let Marie know we're heading to the river for water, so it will be a while until we're back with some. She just nods since she's busy with checking Raphael's temperature.

.

By the time we return from our hunt for water, four people are sitting in front of the fire.

Yes, four.

"Raph!" I shout before I push the bottles and water bags into the nearest arms I find.

I run as quickly as I can towards our camp and I practically fall into Raphael's arms when I reach them.

"Claude, be careful, he's hurt!" Leonie starts to pull on me.

Raphael just hugs me back though, not showing any signs of being in pain.

"It's fine! I can't feel pain on something I don't have, after all!" 

This man is hella strong, and not just physically. He's still cheerful, even after finding that half of his arm is missing.

"I'm so sorry, Raph." I tell him after I let go of him.

"Don't worry about it Claude. It was our- no, my own fault. We should have never split up. And hey, now I can maximize the training on my right arm. Just imagine the amount on muscles I'll have!" He laughs loudly and it's hard for me to accept that it's a real, genuine laugh.

Fuck, I'm glad. 

The others have finally made it to camp as well -damn if they aren't slow- and they hug and welcome Raphael too. 

"It's good to be back together!" He booms and I couldn't agree more.

We informed him about what's going on with the walls of the monastery and what our next course of action is now. 

"When are we leaving?" He asks. 

"Whenever you feel up for it" I reply. We'll leave as soon as he's ready.

"Awesome! Let's go!" He wants to push himself up with his arms while he tries to stand, but he's obviously missing an arm and he falls back on his bum.

"Oof, gotta get used to that." He laughs and I can't help but laugh along.

"Seriously, Claude? You're laughing at his arm? I can't believe I thought you were better than this." Lorenz sounds angry.

"He laughed too" I try to defend, but I know Lorenz is right. 

I feel guilty and apologize to Raphael.

"Come on, guys. It's just an arm, not my life. I just need some time to get used to this. You all pitying me isn't going to make this easier, and it's definitely not growing back my arm." 

Everyone just looks at him, not sure what to do or say. I'll get rid of this tense silence then.

"Well, big boy, you're amazing, seriously. Nothing but respect for your attitude. But how about we use the rest of the day and tonight to rest up before we head out tomorrow? That village isn't going anywhere." 

My Deer wholeheartedly agree with me and we spend the rest of the day recalling and sharing memories with each other.

We're finally back together now.

Just how we should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't like my Claude, too glum, and we all know Claude is anything but glum  
> And what better way is there to change a character other than rewriting the whole. damn. thing? 
> 
> Right, brain damage! 
> 
> No I'm just kidding, it isn't a laughing matter, but it still works out for my story
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	19. Chaper 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG 1K HITS WOW AND 50+ KUDOS EVEN MORE WOW
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, I really hope you're still enjoying the story :) 
> 
> Here's a small warning for blood

Thankfully, my Deer are up early next morning. I don't want to waste any more time than necessary before we head out.

And wasting time does not include throwing bits of food at Hilda's sleepy face. She's currently sitting in front of the fire with her blanket draped over her shoulders.

"Will you stop that already?! You're so annoying!" She tries to smack me, but I manage to evade her hit.

"Who was that again who said they like this 'new' Claude?" Leonie smirks at Hilda.

She pouts. "Well, yes, but not this!" 

One of the beans I was throwing manages to hit her forehead and bounces back into the cup of tea in her hands.

"Great shot!" Raphael shouts.

No one bothers to hide their laughs.

"Oh, you've done it now, Claude!" 

Hilda throws her half filled cup with tea and a bean aside, the movement causing her blanket to slip off her shoulders.

"Don't do anything reckless…" Ignatz warns, but I think I awakened a demon.

Hilda grabs one of the water bottles that was still lying around and attempts to throw the contents at me.

There's no way I'm about to sit still and let her do that, so I dodge her first try. Most of the water hits the grass, but some of it gets on Ignatz' pants.

"Ah, no worries" he says while trying to rub the fabric dry.

"Get back here!" Hilda screams, completely ignoring the fact she just threw water over Ignatz.

I'm running away from her now and she's throwing flood after flood of water everywhere.

"Can you stop wasting that? We're going to travel, so we're probably going to need wate-" 

Lysithea doesn't even get to finish her sentence before a splash of water ends up right in her lap.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I tried to hit Claude, I swear." 

Lysithea glares at Hilda, refusing to forgive her.

To make it all better, I decide to throw a bean against Lysithea's head as well.

And now she looks like she's about to spew fire.

"I'm so sorry, I tried to hit Hilda." I mimic Hilda's earlier apology. 

"Alright, that's it. I've had it with you two!" 

Lysithea gets up from her seat to stand up and the water stain on her skirt is located right where it could be confused for a different kind of stain.

It takes everything I have not to burst out laughing at that, but it seems that Hilda doesn't have so much control.

She's practically wheezing now. Her laughter is contagious enough that my control breaks as well.

"Guys, how about we just get ready to leave? We don't know how long the trip is going to be." Leonie suggests.

Everyone's still too busy laughing though, so no one replies to her. She shrugs. "Whatever, then."

Meanwhile, Lysithea had grabbed her sword to cut Hilda and me down, but Raphael is holding her back with his one arm.

"Just wait until you're within reach, I promise it will hurt!" She threatens, but I can't say I'm impressed.

"Okay, alright. No more time for games now. We're moving out after everyone's packed their bags." Leonie nods at me, thankful I replied to her after all.

I'm just hoping Hilda and Lysithea are still willing to cooperate now.

Hilda is the first to respond. "You want to bring our bags? Can't we just leave them here? They're so heavy."

I consider it for a second. 

"We could probably leave our tents behind. That'll reduce some weight." 

I'm guessing there will be a building we could sleep in. If not, that's going to be crappy.

"You can all leave the heavy things to me. I could use the exercise!" Raphael booms.

"Oh, nice!" Hilda replies before she pushes her whole bag in Raphael's arms. 

He struggles to get a hold on it though, and the bag almost falls to the ground. Lorenz barely manages to catch it.

"Uhm, Hilda. Would you please consider Raphael's condition before you pull any more stunts like that?" 

Hilda just giggles in reply before she takes the lead and starts heading in the direction of the village.

The rest of the quad follows after her.

.

The trip to the village isn't very long- barely an hour- and the way there passes rather peacefully.

One infected in the distance caught our attention, but it didn't notice us, so it was best that we didn't draw it towards us.

The village itself is pretty small; much smaller than I expected. That's perfect, at least it won't take me days to get through it. I can't wait to explore every single nook and crook, study its history, find items we could use…

I'm almost completely lost in thought when Ignatz' voice pulls me back to reality.

"Claude, what do you want to do about that infected? Should we take it down, just in case?" 

Hm, maybe. 

"Good idea. You, Leonie and Lorenz can go. Although, it would probably be best if you check its state first. If it's dead already, just take it down. If it isn't, see if you can stay out of sight and return to us. We'll take it down together." 

"R-right!" 

He takes his bow and quiver before awkwardly poking Leonie's shoulder to get her attention. When she turns to him, he consults with her what I just told him. In turn, she pulls on Lorenz' shoulder to inform him about the plans as well.

Lorenz looks at me and raises an eyebrow in question.

"I haven't seen you use that lance of yours yet," I elaborate. "Just once, Lorenz. Won't you please use it?" 

He rolls his eyes, but doesn't comment any further. He gathers his stuff before he gestures for Leonie and Ignatz to follow him.

"Make sure to stay out of sight until you see it clearly!" I wave at them as they leave.

Lysithea turns to me. "And I'm assuming we'll be going in to the village then?"

"That is correct, little one. Onwards!" 

"Ugh" is all she says in reply.

The village's layout is pretty simple, just your typical town pretty much. We studied plenty of these in class.  
Right in the center, there's a small church. Despite the relatively short bell tower, it still sticks out like a sore thumb.  
All around the church is likely a square with a marketplace. We should find shops and various stands with items there.  
Surrounding said marketplace is where the residential buildings are. I wonder if anyone still lives here.

"Guys, listen. As excited as I am to explore, we are here to clear one objective, which is to find any underground tunnel that might lead to the monastery.  
The village isn't big, but there may still be infected hiding out here, so let's be cautious. I suggest we split up in two groups so we can cover larger grounds in less time." 

I wait to give anyone a chance to disagree, but they seem to be okay with the idea, so I continue.

"Raphael, you will take Marie and Hilda with you. You're in charge, so make sure you keep an eye on them both. If anything is wrong with your arm, you'll have Marie to take care of you." 

Both Raphael and Marianne nod, but Hilda seems unsure.

"Everything okay, Hilda?" If she's not confident, I'm going to need to switch plans.

"Well, I was just thinking… If we have Marianne, how are you two going to manage if you get hurt..? I don't even want to think about it." She shakes her head to clear her mind from any bad visions.

"We'll be fine," I assure her. "Our little genius here has studied faith. She'll take good care of us." 

Lysithea looks surprised for a second before she remembers that she did, in fact, study faith. Her confident demeanor returns almost immediately.

"Yeah, I didn't pull so many all-nighters to be useless in the end. I'm sure we'll manage." 

See, no problems.

Hilda sighs in defeat. "Well, okay. If you're sure, who am I to deny your skills?" 

"Exactly," Lysithea crosses her arms in front of her chest for the extra wiseass effect.

I'll never say that out loud though. Not until I have a death wish.

"Alright, now that that's out of the way, anything else?" 

Hilda in particular looks thoughtful, as if she's trying to prevent us from splitting up, but she can't seem to find a good enough reason.

Perhaps she doesn't feel confident with Raphael in his current state. There's no helping that though, unfortunately.

But since no one speaks up, it's time to scatter.

"Raph, you guys can take the northern half of the village. Lysithea and I will search the southern half. The church will be the border and our meeting place. We'll meet each other again as soon as we're both finished with searching. I'll be sure to leave a message for Lorenz and them." 

Raphael speaks up this time. "Do we have enough time to cover everything? I'm sure we'll need to look thoroughly." 

"Ah, good point. As soon as it gets dark, we'll get to the church as well. We can continue our search tomorrow anyways. Don't rush anything, we'll have plenty of time." 

The three nod before they start heading down the street we were standing in front of. 

"Let's go," I tell Lysithea before we start our walk to the other way.

.

Most of the houses we pass are already raided empty or collapsing. It would be extremely dangerous to go inside those, despite some interesting items I saw. 

Lysithea had to pull me back by my clothes to prevent me from checking them out anyway. 

We talk a bit about how it must have been to live here as we pass building after building.

Some memories of my old village, back in the house with my parents, come to mind, and I'm happy to share them with Lysithea.

"-and there was a bakery a few houses next to mine, and if the wind was in the right direction, I woke up with the delicious smell of freshly baked bread." 

She looks at me with stars in her eyes. "Do you think that such a thing is ever going to be possible again?" 

I don't know the answer to that, but I know I'd like that. I shrug and she falls quiet again as well.

The quiet lasts a short time and we both spend it while looking for anything suspicious.

"Hey, Claude?" Lysithea breaks the silence first.

"Hey, Lysithea?" I answer. 

I know she doesn't like when I do that, but it's just so great to tease her that I can't help myself.

An annoyed sigh before she starts talking.

"So, remember those nightmares I told you about?" 

Uh… do I?

I start intensively digging into my memories, trying to recall anything about nightmares.

Another annoyed sigh comes from Lysithea before she summarizes what happens in her nightmare.

That rings a bell.

"Oh! Yes, I remember." How could I forget something like that? 

"Right. I'd been thinking about what you told me afterwards. You know, that maybe something bad had happened to me and that those nightmares are just a way of coping with the trauma?" 

I nod, but I couldn't confirm I'd said that even if my life depended on it.

She continues. "I think you were right. I never wanted to admit it, simply because I never thought anyone would have any reason to harm me. But after you told me that, I started looking for any signs that proved your idea to be true. Unfortunately, I found too many of those signs to still be able to flat-out deny your statement." 

So she's saying that her nightmares are memories after all?

"I'm not entirely sure about any details, but I'm confident that this happened somewhere outside the monastery. I paid more attention to the surroundings in that dream, and it's nowhere I recognize." 

Hm, now that's interesting.

"Were you born in the monastery?" I'm genuinely curious.

She stops walking to think about the answer.

If she wasn't born in the monastery, that would make perfect sense. Rhea had probably saved her then, just like me. 

"Well, that's the weird thing… I was born in the monastery." She looks at me. "What could that mean?" 

I consider possible theories around that, but none actually seem realistic.

"Have your parents never told you about anything?" Her parents probably have some valuable information, too bad they're beyond our reach. 

She shakes her head. "No, never. But at the same time, they've always been extremely overprotective over me. Not in the sense of not allowing me anything, but I was never allowed to go anywhere on my own. And I couldn't leave our living quarters after eight p.m." 

"As if they were scared something might happen to you…" 

She nods in confirmation, but stays quiet while she ponders it over.

Then it all makes sense.

"Lysithea, what if the monastery is responsible after all?" Yes, that has to be it.

Her eyes grow wide. "What do you mean? I just said-" 

"Yeah, I know. But listen, why would your parents be scared you'd get kidnapped in the monastery? You should have been safe there, right? They wouldn't have to be scared of that-" 

"-unless it happened before…" She finishes together with me.

I nod. 

"But that doesn't make sense! Why would anyone in the monastery do that?" 

I wonder that too. She said something about more children being there…

"We know at least that you weren't the only one who was taken and… What, experimented on? Was that what they were doing to you?" 

The silence from her tells me she hadn't considered that yet.

"So what happened to the other children then? They must have still been walking around too." 

She seems to realize something as her eyes start welling up with tears.

"Claude… Have you ever read about that tragedy in the monastery? The one where over twenty children died of sickness..?" 

Holy shit. 

"Those children… They weren't sick then. They just didn't survive the experiments…" I'm getting a sick feeling in my stomach from this.

She wipes her eyes with her sleeves and all tears are gone, replaced with anger.

"Seteth knew about it, there's no mistaking it. He was the one who spread the news about the tragedy, so he must have known what actually went on. What a sick bastard," she spits.

What she says makes perfect sense. When this all happened, I wasn't living in the monastery yet, but I researched that story enough to know that nothing about that ordeal made any sense.

"But then Rhea also knew of it. Seteth doesn't act on his own. Does that mean they're responsible? Or was it some illegal business going on in the monastery, and were those people punished for their crimes?" 

But if the second option is the case here, why cover it up with a different story? Did Rhea...

Ugh, this is mind twisting in the weirdest of ways.

"I don't know the answer to those questions, but I'd like to find out. We have to make it back to the monastery, Claude. We have to!" 

An unfamiliar voice interrupts our conversation. "That's-" a violent cough. "-all very interesting, but could you maybe help me?" Another coughing fit.

Lysithea doesn't waste any time in hurrying back to my side.

"W-who's there?!" She demands, but she's just not intimidating at all.

"It's just me." The voice answers. "Linhardt. I'm hurt, help me." 

"Linhardt?!" She shrieks. "What do you mean, you're hurt? Where are you even?" 

We both look around, but I can't see any person anywhere.

"I'm hiding in this building… I believe it had an orange flag." 

Lysithea already makes a move to go inside the mentioned building, but I take hold of her arm to keep her close to me. She looks up at me in confusion.

"Where's the rest of your group?" I'm not heading inside any building if I suspect it to be a trap.

"I don't know, I'm on my own. Please, all this blood is making me dizzy." 

Lysithea pulls on her arm in an attempt to get it loose. "Claude, we need to stop wasting time." 

"It could be a trap" I tell her, but she's not convinced.

"Trust me, I know Linhardt. There's no way he'd ever volunteer into being the one who lures out the enemy. He really might be hurt." 

She finally manages to pull her arm free to get inside the building Linhardt mentioned. I still take my dagger into my hand when I follow, just to be sure. 

The door is already half open, so Lysithea enters through the opening without touching the door. Good girl, now that can't alert anyone who might be listening.

I stay outside for a moment to check our surroundings once more. Nothing is off though, so I slip inside the old building as well.

True to his words, Linhardt is here. He crawled into a dark corner of what was supposedly a kitchen. A trail of blood leads from the entryway to the boy himself.

"Ah, finally. Please tell me you have a healer with you." 

Lysithea stands in front of him, frozen, just staring at Linhardt's body. 

"I'm not sure if I can help him…" She whispers at me, presumably, but she doesn't turn around.

I look around the different rooms for any movements before I walk over to Linhardt as well. 

Fuck, what happened to him?

His chin is covered in blood, likely blood he spit out. His clothes are drenched in red, but there aren't any tears in his shirt for that matter. Did he cough up that much blood? If that's so, his organs got fucked up real good.

There's no way an infected did this.

"Wait…" Linhardt breathes. "You're not a healer, Lysithea." 

She shakes her head in response.

"Guess I'll die." He leans his head against the cupboard he's sitting in front of.

"No, don't…" Lysithea presses a hand against her mouth to suppress a whimper.

"Aren't you a healer yourself?" I ask Linhardt. 

He opens his eyes, since he closed them, and nods at me. "How do you think I've managed to live until now?" 

"Then tell her what to do. She's studied faith, she might be able to do something for you." 

Linhardt looks at Lysithea with wide eyes. "Why did you..?" 

"That's not important right now." She interrupts him and I'd be damned if that isn't determination I hear. "Claude's right, tell me what to do. I've never failed once when it came to practicing magic, and I'm not about to start now. I'll save you!" 

She throws her bag off her shoulders and ties her hair together in a ponytail before she moves over to sit in front of Linhardt's unmoving body. She takes a few water bottles from her bag, and some other things I don't recognize easily.

"Will you be okay?" I ask her, so I can dismiss myself. For some reason, this feels much more personal than other situations. I know I don't belong in here right now.

She turns to me and nods. "We'll be fine, thank you." 

I don't miss how she replies with 'we', rather than 'I'. 

"I'll be outside, then. Let me know if I can do anything." 

I'm not sure if she heard me, I doubt she'd reply either way. 

Save him, little one. You got this.

.

It takes long, very long. I don't hear any sounds from inside that indicates how Lysithea's doing in there. Is she managing? 

I've never bothered much with learning and practicing magic myself. There's way too much you have to do before you're even allowed to take a magic class. 

You have to have a recommendation from a magic teacher, pass entrance exams, pass a physical examination and you need a certificate of good behavior.

I'm sure I would do great on the physical examination.

But since I don't know much about magic, I also don't know how much Lysithea can do for Linhardt right now, especially because she's never gotten much practice in white magic.

Linhardt has information; my mind offers. 

Linhardt can't die, because he has information. 

I don't know the context around that, but if it's true, I need to have a talk with him before he goes. 

I hate how I don't see him as anything more than a source of information.

He has to at least know what the rest of his group is up to. That's one.  
He's also a healer with plenty of knowledge on the subject. He could train Lysithea and it never hurts to have more healers, even though they are physically a bit weaker.

That's it. I need him alive. I'll go and find Marie if that's what it takes.

But I can't leave those two here unguarded. Leaving is definitely not an option. Fuck. 

I consider calling out to Lysithea to ask how things are going in there. Would that be rude? Probably. She needs to stay focused anyway, distracting her right now could be fatal.

I groan in dissatisfaction. How long have I been standing here, even. At least an hour, I'm sure of it. 

The sound of footsteps on my right catch my attention. Perhaps Lorenz is back and heading towards the church.

I turn around to say hi, but I doubt the person walking straight towards me will say anything back to me.

Oh boy, here we go again.


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely failed to notice that my fic is now 2 days older than a month so I want to wish it a happy 1 month and 2 days anniversary
> 
> Besides that, small warning for blood and fighting?? Not sure if that needs a warning but just a heads up
> 
> Also I'm still wondering when and if I need to up my rating
> 
> Probably not
> 
> Anyways here is a long chapter! Hope you enjoy :)

Oh boy, here we go again. 

An infected is slowly making its way into my direction, but it hasn't seen me yet. Lucky me.

My options are very limited right now. I could risk calling out to Lysithea for help, but that would ultimately lure the infected my way and there's a big chance she's not able to help me right now.

Looks like I have to take care of this one on my own. That's gonna be tough. I try to hide my body out of sight as much as I possibly can in the entry of the building. Maybe it'll pass right by me without noticing.

I need to warn Lysithea somehow, just in case something goes wrong, but I'm sure the infected will hear me if I make any sound. I'm glad it doesn't have a weapon, but at the same time, that makes it even scarier.

It's going to use its limbs and teeth to inflict wounds on me and kill me. The thought of that thing tearing out my throat with its teeth is not pleasant at all. 

"Lysithea" I whisper into the opening of the building.

My eyes never leave the infected, which is casually stumbling along. 

I could shoot an arrow into its legs, that oughta do it. It's just difficult to see whether it's dead or not. If it isn't… I'm fucked.

"Lysithea!" I try again, but I'm not getting any answer.

She left her sword inside. I know I could use it right now, but I'm not about to risk luring that thing inside the building. 

Lysithea has no means to defend herself if she's still busy healing Linhardt. I hope he'll make it.

I hope I'll make it.

The infected stopped moving and is now looking around. I'm assuming it heard my whisper, so it's searching for me now. 

I crouch down with the small hope that maybe it'll overlook me, but of course I'm not that lucky.

As soon as it turns around, it sees me and lunges right at me. Its mouth is already opened so it can bury its teeth into my skin.

I barely manage to dodge the attack, rolling out of the way before it can touch me.

At least I got a good look at it, and things are not looking pretty for me. It looks very much alive, meaning I'm going to have to kill this one twice. 

And as luck would have it, its speed and strength are pretty high until I kill it the first time. 

What can I do? I got my dagger and bow with arrows. If I can just get close enough to its throat to cut it with my dagger…

The infected attempts another attack, this time swinging its arms around violently. 

If I want to get closer, I'll need to block one of those arms. I'm just scared that it's going to fracture the bone of whatever bodypart I'll use to block with. 

Or I could also use my bow to stop the attack, but I'm not sure of what to do if my bow breaks from the impact. In either case, I won't be able to fire any arrows anymore.

Perhaps if I wait, but the longer this fight will take, the more energy I'll waste and the faster I'll run out of stamina. Who knows what'll happen to me then?

I guess this is a gamble for the better.

The dagger is held tightly in my left hand. I can't afford to lose any strength in that arm, so I'll use my right to block the attack.

The infected is still swinging its arms at me while snapping its jaws open and shut at the same time. If it weren't life-threatening, the sight would probably make me laugh. 

It takes me a few seconds to find the right timing to block its arms and get closer. As I expected, the collision between our arms is extremely painful and I almost lose the strength to keep following my plan.

Tears form in my eyes but I blink them away as quickly as they appeared. This is no time for showing weakness.

But then I lose my focus on the opening I managed to create right when the infected clenches its jaws around my wrist. 

That's something I didn't calculate into my plan. I'm pretty sure I just heard the crack of a bone snapping in two. It makes me cry out in pain. 

God, I hope there aren't any more infected around.

The dagger is itching in my hold and I don't think before I press it between the infecteds teeth to force the jaw open. Never thought I'd be doing that, but here we are. 

After a few tries and broken teeth, I finally manage to dislocate its jaw and peel it off my wrist.

I didn't know it was possible, but that infected just looks even creepier than before with its now wide open bleeding jaw.

Very unfortunately for me, it only needs a few seconds to recover before it's back on track to ending my life.

It practically jumps onto my body, grabbing wherever it can and scratching where it reaches.

With as much strength I can muster, I push its body off mine. I only barely succeed in it, but in doing so, I can finally plunge my dagger into its throat. 

The blood squirts from its neck all over my clothes after I pull my dagger out, but I hardly care at this point. 

I killed it. I actually brought a live infected down on my own.

For a moment, I just stand there, panting while looking at its current lifeless body. I can feel blood trickling down from my neck all over my back. 

My right wrist is throbbing in the same rhythm as my pounding heart. It doesn't hurt, not yet, but I'm sure the pain will come when the adrenaline leaves my veins.

But for now, it's still coursing through my body, so I'm not ready to give up yet.

Get up already. Get up so I can kill you for good.

I wonder, if I behead it now, will it still get up? Or will it be unable to use its body at all?

Only one way to find out.

Cautiously, I head over to its body. It still doesn't look like it'll get up soon, but one can never be careful enough.

The infected looks incredibly repulsive and I don't enjoy the idea of cutting its spinal cord with a dagger.

But all the same, I need to stop stalling in case it will get up again.

I crouch down next to it to examine its head better. That jaw is definitely in the way. 

I brace my painful arm for the pain I'm going to feel by pushing the jaw aside. It doesn't help the slightest bit that my adrenaline level is decreasing. 

The jolt of pain in my wrist is more than I could have prepared for and I can't help but hiss from the pain. 

"Fuck! That hurts…" 

I clench my teeth as I push the dagger into the wound I made before. More blood seeps out of the wound and it smells disgusting. 

I press down on the dagger, hard enough to press it all the way against its spinal cord.

Now for the last part.

I get up from my sitting position to stomp on the dagger with my foot. The strength in my arm would have never gotten through the thick bone, but now there's a satisfying crunch underneath my foot from the impact. 

A relieved sigh escapes my mouth at the feeling.

I am not staying out here a second longer. The pain is finally picking up and it hits me hard.

The scratches on my neck are burning and the throbbing in my wrist is only getting worse and worse.

I hurriedly make my way back inside the building Lysithea and Linhardt are in. Screw their privacy, I'm not fighting anything anymore if I don't have to.

I sit down in the entryway, out of sight from the outside, but I still have some vision on what or who's out there. 

Like this, I spend a few minutes, revelling in the feeling of pride of my accomplishment. Heh, who knows what might have happened if I didn't carry this dagger everywhere I go.

Thanks, mom. You saved my life again.

I smile at the thought of my mother and I long to see her again. 

Maybe if I…

Drowsiness takes over quickly and I fall asleep where I'm sitting, hoping I can see my mother again in my dreams.

.

"Clau-" 

What? 

Someone is shaking my body. Ow. 

"Hello?" I answer.

"Claude, wake up. Please. It's dark, we need to head to the church." 

"Lysithea?" Why is it so hard to open my eyes?

"What happened to you? You look terrible." 

Something is off about her voice. It sounds… rough. As if she's been crying. 

"What's wrong?" Something with Linhardt? 

"It's nothing. We need to get to the church before anyone else starts looking for us. They're waiting for us. Let's go." She starts pulling at my arm. My right arm.

"Argh! Fuck, that hurts!" 

She lets go of my arm immediately to examine it. 

"Oh, Claude, I'm so sorry. I didn't see." 

I hold out my other arm for her to grab and she complies, not wasting another second in getting out of here.

"My eyes." 

"What's wrong with your eyes?" She asks. 

"They're stuck. I can't open them." 

Her small hand caresses my cheek just under my eye, probably to get a closer look at it.

"It's all swollen, no wonder you can't open it. Seriously, what happened to you?" 

"An infected," is all I can bring out. My throat feels sore and my legs are heavy as well. Even breathing is a struggle on its own.

What is wrong with me? I feel like total shit. 

"You took it down all by yourself? That's amazing. Here, have some water. Your throat sounds sore." 

I gratefully take the water she offers. Although, I hate that she has to help me with drinking it.

"There you go… That's right. Let me know when you need more, okay?" 

I just nod. I'm still not used to receiving such kind treatment, especially from Lysithea.

Her small body supports mine on my left side this time, to make sure she doesn't accidentally hurt me again. Like this, we walk the whole way to the church.

"Good thing this house wasn't that far from the church, huh." She ponders aloud.

I hum in agreeance. I wonder if that infected really stayed down after I cut its throat or if it managed to get up after all.

I'm hoping it's the former.

Trusting Lysithea's lead is the only thing I can do as we walk down the still unfamiliar streets. If only I could just see, how easy that would make things.

But at the same time, this is good for me. I'm finally learning to trust somebody else.

"Thanks" I manage to croak.

"It's fine. We wouldn't make it without you, you know." 

That surprises me. She really has that much faith in me? 

I don't want to question her feelings. What I do want to question is what happened with Linhardt, but since she dismissed that subject really quick, I'm fearing the worst.

I decide to mourn this loss in silence. From what I know, he's the first to lose his life out here.

He died much too young. I didn't know the guy at all, but I know this has to be hard on Lysithea. 

I'm here for you, little one. Just reach out when you need it.

.

"Finally! What took you guys so long? We were so worried." Hilda's the first to speak up when we enter the church.

"Oh, what a surprise. What are you doing here?" Ignatz asks.

What kind of question is that? Aren't we supposed to be here?

Lysithea answers. "We got held up." A pause. "Something is wrong with Claude, though." 

"It's good to see you all! I was worried something bad might have happened to you!" Raphael's voice is loud and cheerful as ever. Surprising, given the circumstances.

"O-oh, Claude! Let me help you, you look terrible…" 

"Marie," I whine. I need her healing, bad.

"Come with me, I'll see what I can do." Her soft voice is soothing. 

She takes a gentle hold on my uninjured arm to lead me somewhere within the church.

Behind me, I can hear Lorenz talking.

"Leave it to him to get in trouble again. My goodness, can't he ever be left alone?" 

"Watch your mouth, Lorenz!" Lysithea warns. "He took down an infected all on his own, let's see you do that." 

"Wow he really did that? That's amazing." Leonie comments.

There's more voices, but I can't distinguish them anymore from the room Marie has lead me in. I'm not paying them any more attention either.

"Here, you can lie down. I need to gather some things first." 

I do as she proposes. Man, I really don't envy Raphael at all. Using only one arm to do everything is a lot more difficult than it seemed.

Would it be a bad thing if I was sleeping during Marie's healing? Maybe not. It does sound very tempting.

I rest my head against the self-made pillow. The scratches on my neck hurt, but I'm too tired to care. 

A dreamless slumber takes my consciousness away.

.

A very warm, cozy feeling envelops my body. 

"Mmm, that feels good." I sigh. 

A loud giggle next to me.

"And here you go again with your obscene moaning at Marianne's healing." 

Ah, Hilda. Of course.

I laugh along with her. 

"Not on purpose." I clarify, but she just giggles louder.

"Uhm, please sit still. I'm not finished yet…" Marianne actually grabs my chin tightly to hold my head still. 

A barely gentle reminder not to get in Marie's way. 

"Sorry, Marie. Are my eyes better yet?" I'm scared to try and open them myself now.

"No, not yet… I believe it's some sort of inflammation. It will probably heal on its own." 

"Am I sick?" That would explain how I'm feeling.

Marie stays quiet for a while, leaving me to think she's not going to answer me.

"A-actually, I think it's a bacterial infection… So yes, you're sick. I'm not sure how to cure it, i-if I'm being honest…" 

A bacterial infection, huh? How does one even get such a thing? 

"A-at least it's not a virus though. That's a good thing at least." She tries to comfort, but it's not like I know the correct difference between the two anyway.

It's as if Hilda can read my mind. "What's the difference?" She asks.

"W-well… The biggest difference is that you can get rid of bacteria completely with medicine, but a virus will stay in your body forever… Meaning that the virus will keep returning whenever your immune system is weak." 

Then that is indeed a good thing. 

"Oh, I see." Hilda answers, but I doubt she really sees.

"I will recover though, right? Please? Pretty please?" 

Marie actually huffs a soft laugh at that. "I'll try whatever I can to make you better, I promise." 

"Marianne, we have news!" Lysithea barges into the room we're apparently using as an infirmary.

Marianne doesn't answer, but Lysithea just keeps talking. 

"We're convinced that Claude got sick from the infected he took down yesterday. He probably got it from the bite on his wrist." 

"Ew, Claude. That's gross. What if you turn into one of those creeps now too?" Hilda pokes me in the arm.

"You'd be the first one I'll attack if that's the case. Calling me gross, how dare you?" It's not like I wanted to be bitten either.

"Well it's true, that wound is going to scar." 

Okay, that is gross. I don't want visible teeth marks on my wrist for the rest of my life.

"Marie.." I whine again. She seems sympathize with me whenever I do that, so I'll keep doing it.

"S-sorry, there isn't much I can do about that… The wound was really deep, so I couldn't reattach the skin without it forming scar tissue." 

I sigh. Oh well, at least the wound is healed, that's what's most important.

"Is Lysithea still here?" 

"Yes, I'm still here. Did you need anything?" The girl in question answers me.

"Are you okay?" I need to know how she's doing after losing Linhardt. She's been trying to stay strong, but it's probably really hard on her.

"Uhm, yes? You're the one who's sick, not me. Stop worrying about other people when you can't take care of yourself." 

"Yeah, you're right." I hate how she always hits me right where it hurts.

It's so hard being unable to see anything. I can't feel any pain, but my eyes are shut uncomfortably tight. 

"M-maybe you should try to sleep more… It will help fight the bacteria since your body will be able to focus on that." 

I nod. She's probably right and it's not like I can do much with my eyes stuck together.

Well, sweet dreams again. Hopefully I'll be able to open my eyes next time I wake up.

.

A wet cloth against my sensitive eyelid is what wakes me up again.

"You awake?" Hilda murmurs quietly. "Looks like the swelling has gone down quite a bit. Can you open your eyes?" 

"Marie…" 

"No, not Marie. Hilda. I'm taking care of you because Lysithea needed Marianne for something." 

Ah, so that's it. I wonder what they're doing.

"And don't tell anyone, but I offered it myself because I don't want to go outside to look for the tunnel. Delicate flowers need to do delicate work, after all," she giggles.

Of course that's the real reason. I'm not surprised at all.

I try to open my eyes as she suggested. It works, but my vision is terribly blurry. I close them again.

"Oh, ew. Don't do that again when I'm near you ever again. There's pus everywhere, I don't want to see that." 

She's the worst nurse ever and I can't help but laugh at the thought. 

"Fine, my sincerest apologies. Do you have water?" 

She stands up from her seat right away to grab me a bottle with water.

"This isn't good, we don't have much water left. You should probably send a squad to the river to get more." 

She gently lifts my head so I can sip from the bottle. The coolness of the water feels great against my sore throat.

"If we could just find the tunnel already…" I'm sure that that tunnel is the only thing we need right now. We could just pass through it and get back into the monastery. 

But then what? Rhea and Seteth can't actually send us back outside, not without a good reason, but I'm sure they'd find some other way to get rid of us. 

Is going back into the monastery really the answer then? Or perhaps we need to find a way to live our lives out here.

"Hey Hilda, what do you have to return to in the monastery?" 

She seems surprised by the question, but she doesn't need long to think about the answer.

"Well, my family is there. My mom, dad and older brother. I really miss them. Sometimes I wonder how they're holding up. Not my relatives, but the guards in the monastery." She chuckles. "My father and brother are terribly overprotective of me, I'm sure they've been giving the guards a very hard time since I haven't returned." 

She sighs, likely indulging in memories of her family. Must be nice. 

I'm almost afraid to ask my next question.

"And what if… What if we never make it back?" 

I don't know how she feels, since I don't really have anything to return to. Nothing but the safety of the walls, I guess. But there's nothing else in there I really care about.

"Actually, never mind. We'll get back, I promise." 

She doesn't answer for a while, until; "thank you, Claude. You probably have nothing worth returning to, yet you're still trying so hard for the rest of us who do." 

I don't know what to say to that, so I stay quiet. I've never been good at receiving thanks or compliments.

"Anyways. Let me clean your eyes once more. That pus really was disgusting." 

"Did you just say 'dispusting'? Because that's a terrible pun." 

"No, I did not! What do you take me for? My humor is much more sophisticated than that!" 

"Sophisticated," I mock. "I'm sure you'd wheeze over penis jokes." 

"Hey! Penis jokes are funny." She quietly admits and I laugh loudly at that.

I hope I can get her back home, back to her family. Just like everyone else. Even if I have to keep sacrificing my own health to get there.

I'm sure it will be worth it, in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! :)


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots and lots and lots of dialogue, but I think/hope it'll be interesting dialogue
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Apparently it's night time the next time I wake. Hilda and I spent a good time talking, mostly about her family back at the monastery. I'm a bit sad that I don't have a family anymore, but I loved hearing every single one of her stories. 

I want to meet Holst, her brother, when we get back. He seems like a great guy.

"Marie…" How pathetic I've become. 

"No, not Marie." A male voice corrects me this time.

Huh? 

"Who're you?" I don't recognize the voice easily.

"If you'd open your eyes already, you'd see for yourself." 

I do as the voice says, and to my surprise, opening my eyes is actually an easy thing to do.

After blinking away some eye-moist, I look up at the person sitting next to me. Only faint candlelight allows me to see his features, but I know I recognize them.

"Linhardt?! I thought you were dead!"

What is going on? 

He just blinks at me. "Why would you think that? I've been here the whole time. I even took care of you when Hilda said she was too tired to do it. Fixing your eyes is my accomplishment also." 

Even taking care of me is too much work for her? That traitor. 

And what, the whole time? How could I miss that? Well, besides that my eyes have been swollen, preventing me from seeing. And a constant ringing in my ears, not allowing me to hear much.

But that means…

"Lysithea saved you then." 

I should have known she had it in her. That little genius would never forgive herself if she became responsible for his death.

"Yes, good for you, stating the obvious like that. I'll have you know, I was there when she did, so there's no need to point it out."

Ugh, I knew this guy would be a pain in the ass, but this just does it. I know he's smart though, I'll give him that.

"Listen." I try to sit up in my sleeping bag, but it proves more difficult than I thought, so I lie back down. "I have a few questions for you." 

He raises his eyebrows at me. "And what makes you think I'm willing to share any answers?" 

Seriously? Why is he being difficult?

"Because your information might save us. Look, just let me ask my questions and you can decide whether you want to answer or not. How's that sound?" 

He nods. "That's fine with me. Go ahead." 

"Where did Edelgard get her map?" 

"No answer." He simply says.

Well, okay. Let's try another one.

"Why'd she lead you all to this village?" 

"Not answering." His tone of voice doesn't even change.

For fuck's sake.

"Lysithea! Your boyfriend is being a pain in the ass!" My voice echoes through the whole church, which is honestly something I didn't expect.

Seconds later, Leonie's voice echoes through the building as well. "Claude, be quiet! What the fuck."

And after that, I can hear tiny angry stomps heading my way.

Ah, shit. 

"What do you want?!" Lysithea hisses at me.

"Like I said, your boyfriend is being annoying." 

She lets out an exasperated sigh. "Then just don't talk to him! It's really not that hard!" 

This went downhill fast. I thought she'd be on my side.

"No, listen. I'm asking him questions and he won't answer me." 

Her face shifts from complete annoyance to unfazed in milliseconds.

"And you figured that right now would be the best time to do that? Just go to sleep!" 

Why is everyone being so difficult?! 

"No, I don't need sleep. I need answers!" 

Lysithea rolls her eyes before she sits down.

"Linhardt, answer the damn guy so I can go back to sleep." 

He blinks at her. "I have no reason to answer to the likes of him. I'd rather go to sleep myself. Mind watching over him for me?" 

"You have a very good reason to do as I say, I saved your life, mister. Now you answer every single question Claude has for you, or I'll drag you back outside and you're on your own again when the next infected passes by. Got that?!" 

She's very scary.

He swallows. "Well, alright." He then turns to me. "You asked why Edelgard lead us here. But you already know the answer to that, because your group has been looking for that exact answer since you got here." 

So the underground tunnel after all.

"How did Edelgard know where it is?" 

He doesn't even need time to think about the answer. Just how good is this guy's memory?

"She had a detailed map of the village's lay-out. But before you ask where she got that, I don't have the answer." 

I'd expected Lysithea would have gone back to bed already, but it seems she's too interested in Linhardt's answers to leave. Instead, she comes to lie next to me on my sleeping bag and leans her head against my shoulder. 

Linhardt yawns openly. "If that was all, I'd like to sleep now. I did all that was asked of me, so I think I deserve to have a nap."

"No, wait. A few more questions, then you can sleep. Where's your group now, and why'd they leave you behind? In that state, might I add." 

He sighs. "We left when you and the Blue Lions were too occupied to notice our depart. Edelgard already knew that the walls weren't going to open, so she lead us all to the underground passage that is located here. The rest of the Black Eagles besides me passed through it, so I'm assuming they're back inside the monastery." 

I knew it. Edelgard has to have help from someone inside the monastery. But who? Lady Rhea herself? Or someone who's more in the shadows?

"Where is the passage?" I demand.

But then Lysithea decides to butt in. "Wait! We don't know why he was left behind yet." 

"Right." Linhardt says, clearing his throat. "In the monastery, I had obtained some information about outside from one of the guards in the watching towers.-" 

I'm about to open my mouth to ask what when Linhardt shushes me.

"-Information you already have. Just that the 'infected' as you call them, seem immune to magic." 

I take notice of how he says 'seem', rather than 'are'. Very interesting. I'll ask that next.

"But that particular event caused me to get on Seteth's bad side. I know that Seteth is as unforgiving as a brick, so there's no way he would ever let me get back into the monastery without giving me a hard time." 

I nod in understanding. If anyone knows just what Seteth can be like, it's probably me. The memories of Seteth strangling me come up and I need to do my best to swallow the lump that's forming in my throat.

He continues. "Now, I'm obviously not allowed to talk about any of this, but I'll tell you anyway since I was treated very poorly by some members. You see, Edelgard's main objective is to take control over the monastery, in case you hadn't figured that out yet, and she promised me that she'd allow me back inside as soon as she completed her goals.   
Considering my position in the monastery right now and the position I might get from Edelgard, I chose to stay behind and wait until Edelgard came back."

"You actually chose to stay behind, all on your own? Are you really stupid or something?" 

I have to agree with Lysithea on this one. Despite how terrifying Seteth is, I would never make the choice to be alone out here.

Linhardt just sighs again though. "I would have been okay. I had plenty of food and I was hidden well near the passage. If I got in any danger, which was entirely unlikely, I could've just gone to the monastery anyways. But the thing is, when I chose to stay behind, Hubert attacked me with a Miasma. He said something about guaranteeing that I kept quiet about all of this. Whether or not it was Edelgard's order I'm not sure of, but he actually tried to kill me!" He huffs in annoyance.

It makes sense now. Hubert must be the creepy dude calling Edelgard 'lady'. Is the mutual trust within the Black Eagles really that negligible? I can't believe it. And here I thought that my trust in others was minimal.

"That's awful… I knew I recognized your injuries. I just never thought that a simple Miasma could do so much internal damage." Lysithea sympathizes.

"Hubert is a strong and skilled mage, had I not known how to heal myself, I would've died. No doubt about that." 

To attack your own teammate… What a disgusting thought. I can't even imagine shooting an arrow at Lorenz to shut him up, despite how much he annoys me sometimes, and here this guy just… attempted to commit an actual murder.

The Black Eagles might be a tad more dangerous than I thought. This isn't good. If this keeps up, we might end up having to fight them.

I turn to Linhardt. "And what about us?" 

He looks confused, so I reformulate my question.

"Can we trust you?" 

I need to know if he's trustworthy. If he's actually trying to fool us, I might drag him outside myself. The last thing I need right now is some psychotic mage coming after us because Linhardt told us something we aren't supposed to know.

Lysithea eyes him carefully as well. I still wonder what their relationship is exactly. Neither of them denied me when I called Linhardt Lysithea's boyfriend, but I'm not sure they're there yet.

"I can tell you whatever I like, but you're going to have to find it out for yourself. Although, I would say you can trust me and I will trust you too until I have a reason not to." 

"Then I'll trust you until you give me a reason not to as well." 

Is trusting someone really supposed to be this easy? I have my doubts, but I can't take back my words anymore. I guess I'll trust him until I don't anymore, just like we agreed on.

"Well, that's settled then. Where is the passage?" Lysithea butts in.

She's not playing any games, huh.

"I'm not telling you that. Not yet, anyways. You wouldn't get through it." He informs us.

Lysithea isn't about to have his shit though. "And why not? We've been searching for three days, give us a break." 

Three days? I've been out of it for three days? What the fuck?

Linhardt yawns before he replies. "Because the passage is guarded and you don't have Edelgard to permit you entering. I don't even think they'd let me walk through there anymore. So unless you all got super powers, I suggest you stay away from the passage until you're ready to take them on. Those people in there are terrifying."

Hm, that's unexpected but not unsurprising. I guess we'll only be let through peacefully if we have Edelgard. But is there really no way we could negotiate with them? I'm sure those people in there would like their freedom too, right? 

But for now, we'll stay away from the passage. I'm not putting my friends in any potential danger.

"Alright. We won't go into the passage then. Not yet." 

Lysithea stares at me incredulously, but she doesn't comment. Trust me little one. It's for the best.

"So can I sleep now?" Linhardt rubs his eyes tiredly.

"One more question, I promise. You said the infected seem immune to magic, rather than are. What are your thoughts?" 

"Ah. Well, it's just a theory, since I myself am unable to prove it. But I noticed when Dorothea attacked an infected, it actually stopped moving. Not for long, not even a second probably, but that was enough to tell me that the magic did touch it." 

"So, what are you saying?" Lysithea's getting impatient now. 

He sighs. "Lysithea, you should know this. What is the best defense for a mage against a magic attack?" 

She ponders it over for a few seconds before she decides it's not worth the trouble. 

"Just tell us what you're getting at." 

"Alright, fine, don't answer. When a mage gets attacked by a magic attack, the best way to defend themselves would be to cast a spell of their own,-" 

"Oh! Right, because their resistance is incredibly high when casting magic!" 

Really? I had no idea. Maybe I should ask Lysithea to teach me about magic when we have time.

"Right. So, what I'm thinking is, the infected are influenced by a magic spell." 

"How does that work? They don't even use magic." I'm very much confused.

"So you're convinced that dead people can still walk around and attack on their own?" He asks.

I know that's a rhetorical question, but I'm still confused.

"Someone's controlling them. With magic." Lysithea concludes.

Someone's actively controlling them? But if they're being controlled with magic, there should also be a way to release the magic from their bodies.

Linhardt closes his eyes. "Yes. At least, that's what I think is going on. Like I said, I can't prove this theory, but it makes sense to me."

"How did you want to prove this theory?" If this is true, then the solution shouldn't even be that difficult.

"We could prove this theory by hitting an infected with an extremely powerful magic attack, to see if that can break through its resistance. If it's hit, it will prove that there is some magic playing a part." 

Theoretically, it makes sense too. Like Linhardt said, no person can move around when they're dead. Even if there's a virus in their brains. 

But is there an actual virus then? Or is it just the magic spell that controls them completely, and causes those external symptoms? 

A soft snoring next to me catches my attention. 

"Of course." Lysithea sighs. "He's asleep. We've probably kept him awake too long. Weirdo." 

How is it even possible to fall asleep in that position? He's sitting up straight with his arms just slumping along his sides.

"I guess that's the end of our interview then." I sigh. I had more questions, but they'll have to wait.

"Seems like it. Do you mind if I go to sleep too?" 

I shake my head. "Of course not. Get as much rest as you can." 

We say our good nights to each other before she heads back into the other part of the church, where the rest is sleeping as well. The rest besides Linhardt, that is.

Should I wake him up? His snoring indicates he's fast asleep, so I should probably just let him sleep here. Even if it's obvious he'll have a sore neck tomorrow.

So he's the one who got my eyes fixed. That means he has some knowledge on diseases and bacteria that Marianne lacks. That really comes in handy.

I'd like him to stick around with us. Even if he's a major pain in the ass, he's also a useful pain in the ass. If that's even a thing.

I hate to think this, but I'm sort of glad Linhardt almost got killed. Lysithea gained some serious experience in using white magic and I got most of the answers I've been looking for. 

Perhaps Linhardt could help me with deciding our next course of action. We know the passage is here, in this village, but there doesn't seem to be anything more than that in here.

If no one else has a good idea, I'd like to go find the Blue Lions. There are a lot of things I need to discuss with Dimitri, and I really want to see all of them again. Plus, he actually went to search for Edelgard for me after I got mad at him, and I kinda feel guilty about that.

I turn to lie on my side. The wrist with teeth marks is lying right in my vision. That really looks awful. I'm glad it doesn't hurt anymore at least, but damn if that scar isn't ugly.

I doubt I could actually fall asleep again now, since apparently I've slept for three days. Jesus, who does that? I turn back on my back before stretch my arms above my head. A satisfying pop comes from my shoulders. 

Time to get up and investigate this church.

I grab a candle which will hopefully last at least a few hours before I start walking around the room I was lying in. 

It looks like some kind of storage room, with nothing more than a few books written in a different language, spare and damaged church seats and extra candles. 

Hm, disappointing.

I head over to the space the others are sleeping in. This is probably the hall where a priest would say his preachers. A big table of some sort is standing in the front of about twenty benches my friends have made their beds on.

I search through the drawers in the table, but there are only more books in that same language. I wish I could understand it.

Better not mess with any religious things. I don't want to anger any god or goddess that might be guarding this place.

The rest of the drawers are relatively empty, the only interesting thing in there is a drawing of a sword. It looks kinda weird, unlike any sword I've ever seen. It has one smooth edge, the other one is rough. 

The material doesn't look exactly normal either, if this drawing is accurate. Is that… No, probably not. How would one create a sword out of bone? Ridiculous, Claude.

On the back of the paper something is written, probably its name or who made it, but I can't decipher the language. 

I wonder if this sword exists. Is it some holy artifact or something? I mean, what else would it be doing in a church? Maybe it's actually in here somewhere. I'm getting all excited just thinking about finding it.

So I resume my investigation of the church, but not before I put the drawing in one of the pockets of my pants. I'm keeping this. 

There are a few other rooms, but most of them are pretty much empty. How disappointing. I'm about to give up on finding something and get back to bed until I spot a door I haven't checked yet, all the way in the back.

Nice, a hidden door. 

I'm almost skipping over to it from excitement. Before I open it, I press my ear against it, like I've done with every door. If there's an infected behind that door, there's no way I'll open it.

Sounds like there's nothing moving behind this one as well, so I try to open it. But of course, it's locked. That only proves there's something behind here. Something worth finding.

Now would be a great time to know how to pick locks. Damn, I wish I could. 

I try the door again and it's pretty loose. The door isn't really sturdy, which makes me think that either the lock or door can be broken easily.

And I have the perfect person for the job.

I hurry towards Raphael. He's gotta break in that door for me. 

Ah crap, my candle just went out. Better not run with it anymore. 

After I light up my candle again, I speed walk to where Raphael is snoring loudly. It's not hard to find him, he doesn't fit on the pews and is therefore lying on the ground. That, combined with his monstrous snore makes for an easy find.

I sit down next to him. "Raph, wake up. I need your help." I shake his body, but lightly. I don't want to agitate the wound on his arm after all.

His snoring stops abruptly. "What? Where's the beef?" He looks around confused before he sees me. "Oh, Claude. What's up?" 

"I need your help," I whisper. "I need you to break a door for me." 

I can almost see the gears in his head turning as he thinks my words over.

"Why do you wanna break a door?" 

That's a very logical question, which deserves a logical answer.

"Because I want to see what's on the other side. Come on." I try to pull him up, but his huge body is too heavy for me to move even a centimeter.

"Well, alright." He shakes off my attempt at helping him and instead helps me back on my feet after he got up.

What a nice guy.

I lead him to the door I found earlier.

"Ta-da." 

"This is the one?" He asks as he runs a hand over the wood.

"Yes, this is it. Do you need help?" 

He yawns before he replies. "Nah, I think I'm good. Just make sure you don't get in the way. I don't wanna run you over. Literally." 

That's very good advice, so I follow it. I'm standing behind him now. 

He looks at me for permission and I nod to give it to him. 

"Well, here we go!" He shouts before he full on slams his body into the door. 

He crashes right through it, scattering planks and chunks of wood everywhere. I'm amazed by anyone who's still sleeping after this.

"Oof!" Raphael's voice sounds from the other room.

I laugh before I follow him in there.

It looks just like the other rooms. Dark, dusty and old. But this one has something very, very interesting. I step over Raphael's body on the ground to get closer.

Right in the middle of the room, there is some kind of altar. I light up the candles in front of it using mine, and I almost can't believe what I can see now that there's light.

A giant painting of a girl, or a young woman? I'm not sure, but she seems much older than she looks. She's sitting on a throne it looks like. Her long, wild hair is a bright green color, just like her eyes. The gown she wears is nothing like any I've ever seen before. And are those pointy things her ears? There's no way she's human. She has an ethereal kind of appearance and the painting almost seems to glow because of it.

Who the hell is this person?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, think I'd really kill off a masterminded sleepy buttcheek? No way, I'm not a monster
> 
> Jk I might be in future chapters but there's no reason to worry about that just yet
> 
> I actually didn't want to include any religion or goddess in my fic, so Sothis isn't going to appear as an actual character
> 
> My apologies to everyone who likes Sothis
> 
> Thank you still for reading :))


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are having a good day
> 
> Here's another chapter, hope you enjoy :)

"Must you always be so loud? One would think that you'd be still and quiet when you're sick, but we're not even granted that." Lorenz tries to help up Raphael, who is struggling to get up from the floor.

"Whoa," Raphael looks around the room. "I can see why you wanted to bust open that door. Hey, who's that?" He asks when his eyes fall on the painting in front of me.

Lorenz follows his gaze and even he looks amazed by it. 

"I'm not sure. I've been finding books and such in other rooms, so I'm guessing she's an important historical or religious figure." 

That's really all the information I have, unfortunately.

"Maybe…" Lorenz thinks out loud. "Could it be that she's a portraition of the goddess?" 

The goddess? The one Rhea speaks of sometimes? 

"You really think that's a God?" Raphael scratches his head in confusion. "She doesn't look all that powerful to me, look at those noodly arms. I bet I could beat her!" 

Lorenz sighs in annoyance, but I just love Raphael's attitude. This guy is amazing. 

"You could not beat a goddess, Raphael. Please tell me you're kidding." 

"No way! See my muscles?" He bends his right arm to show off the obvious muscle in there. "Not even she could get past this." 

Lorenz' and Raphael's arguing continues, so I decide to look around the room a bit more. There should be more to it than just this altar, right? 

The room is lit up by the warm light of the candles, so it's not difficult to make my way through it. But even in here, most of the things lying around are just candles. 

"Claude, what are you doing?" Lorenz asks me. Raphael seems to have headed out again.

"Just looking." 

"At?" 

What a nosy guy.

"At the stuff." 

"Ah, 'the stuff'." He joins me where I'm standing. "And what kind of 'stuff' are you looking at?" 

Boy, seriously.

"I was looking for anything interesting, but the painting is probably the highlight. Linhardt told me some things before, so I'll share those with you and the others tomorrow. Let's just go to sleep for now." 

He squints his eyes at me in suspicion.

"What things?" 

"Oh, Lorenz come on! I'll tell you along with everyone else tomorrow. Go to sleep." 

He still stares at me before he shrugs and leaves the room, leaving me here on my own.

I make my way back to the painting to look at it a bit longer.

The goddess. I wonder what her name is. She looks powerful.

Too bad there isn't anything else in here that could catch my interest. I'm guessing even the church has been raided from its valuables during the appearance of the infected all those years ago.

How long was it even? A hundred years? I think that's close.

A hundred years of this disgusting game between the living and dead. I sincerely hope what Linhardt said is true. That this is some magic spell that's controlling them. If we could find a way to break that spell, we might put an end to this whole thing. 

Mom would be so proud of me.

Since I've been spending time with my Deer, I've been thinking a lot more about my mother. All their talk about family makes me want to have mine back. I hope I'll be able to find my father again. Maybe someday.

First things first, and that's to save this place.

"I promise." I tell the woman in the painting. 

It might be my imagination, or perhaps the moving of the candlelight, but her lips seem to curl slightly into a smile. 

It only creeps me out a little bit.

Despite that, I smile back and salute the woman before I go back to the room I left Linhardt in. 

He toppled over from where he was sitting before, but he remains fast asleep. Even with his face pressed into the cold stone tiles underneath it.

What a talent this guy has. 

After having investigated this whole church, combined with the after-effects of my sickness, I actually feel tiredness seeping into my body. 

Crawling into my sleeping bag isn't hard and falling asleep is even easier. 

I'd really like to find Dimitri soon.

.

For the first time in a while, I wake up on my own. No one is trying to wake me or accidentally wakes me because of whatever reason, and it feels amazing.

I stretch my arms and legs before I turn over. Maybe I could fall asleep again.

"Uhm, Claude? Here's some tea I made. I-if you'd like. You don't have to drink it." Ignatz' voice is soft. There's no way that'd wake me up if I'd still be sleeping.

"Is he up yet? I want to get out of here already." Leonie's voice echoes through the church.

"Ah, no. Not yet, but I don't think he'll sleep much longer." Ignatz answers.

"Just pour that tea over his head." Lorenz sounds amused. "That'll wake him up for sure."

Oh, haha. So funny.

I'm on my way to dozing off again, before Ignatz' tea makes me remember something Hilda told me. I jolt up as much as my sleeping bag allows me.

"We need to get water!" 

The first thing I see is Ignatz' surprised face and him almost spilling the tea over himself and me.

"Please, Claude, you scared me." 

I can hear Hilda's loud laughter from somewhere in the back of the church before she yells something at me. "You dummy, a few of us already went to the river to get water! That was like, two days ago." 

"Not thanks to you, by the way." 

"He was sick, don't be so hard on him, Leonie. He needed to rest as much as he could!" 

"I meant you, Hilda. Not Claude." I can almost hear the eyeroll that goes with that sentence.

"O-oh. Right, I was taking care of Claude, so I couldn't go along!" 

Lorenz raises his finger, indicating he's going to say something. "I'm pretty sure Linhardt was taking care of Claude's eyes at that exact time. You liar." 

"Liar, liar, pants on fire." Even Lysithea is coming for Hilda's wig.

"Oh my god, come on! I tried really hard. You can't say I didn't do anything at all!" Hilda puffs up her cheeks in an adorable pout. 

"I think you did great." I decide to defend her. Poor girl, she's doing much better than I expected from her at the start. She deserves some credit.

She gets up and hurries over to me to sit next to me on my sleeping bag.

"See, Claude says I did great!" She sticks out her tongue at the others before she puts her arms around my shoulders to pull me into a hug.

We receive a few sighs and eyerolls and it makes me laugh. They're all so predictable.

"Alright, give me that tea." 

Ignatz hands it to me and I gratefully take a sip. His tea is still the best, sorry Mercedes.

Right, Blue Lions.

"Is Linhardt up yet?" I ask no one in particular, but I'm willing to bet that Lysithea will answer me.

"No, not yet." Mentioned girl answers. I knew it. "But I'll go wake him if you want me to." 

I nod at her and she gets up to head off to one of the rooms I investigated before. What in the world is he doing there? 

"Hilda, please get off me. I have things to discuss with everyone." 

She looks at me, surprised I'm rejecting her affections before she gets up. Ignatz gets up as well and we walk into the other room together.

"Good morning, everyone!" I greet those who I haven't talked to yet.

"G-good morning…" Marianne replies. 

We sit closer together to talk a bit before Lysithea and Linhardt join us.

I explain to everyone what Linhardt told me last night, and he fills gaps wherever I leave any.

"Okay, so, Edelgard already knew we'd be stuck out here?!" Leonie demands.

Linhardt nods. "That's right." 

"And why didn't she tell the rest of us about this?" 

I think that's a good question.

"Because she has her selfish reasons." 

"And those are?!" 

Linhardt shrugs. "I don't have the answer. All I know is that she was busy with taking over the monastery. Perhaps she thought you'd get in the way of her plans." 

Ignatz joins in the discussion. "L-looks like we'll have to ask Edelgard herself. It was probably a mistake on her part, or maybe she didn't think we'd be stuck for this long." 

He has a point, but I doubt it's that easy. Edelgard hates my guts, I believe it's more like she didn't want me to survive this, so she didn't give us a chance.

I remember somebody else telling me something like that. Is she working with Seteth then, after all?

"Maybe, but isn't she together with Dimitri? It could be that he knows more about her and all this." Hilda suggests.

Great, now I won't be the one to suggest we go find the Blue Lions. 

"I don't think so." Of course, Linhardt is going to be difficult. "Dimitri came to me to ask me about something, right before the incident with Raphael. He could have asked Edelgard, yet he didn't. It makes me wonder if their relationship was really that strong." 

"What was he going to ask you?" Lysithea asks him.

"That, I'm not sure of. He got interrupted." 

"So, we should ask Dimitri after all. He may know more than we think." Leonie concludes.

Yes, I agree. And I want to know if they're okay.

"So, we're off to look for the Blue Lions." I get up immediately to prevent anybody, I don't want to point any finger at someone, but Linhardt, from protesting.

"Awesome! I'll start packing my things." Leonie seems to be in a good mood. Perhaps she's excited that we finally have a goal now, other than survive.

"Wait," Hilda whines. "I don't want to go all the way back to the forest." 

"Pardon me, but I don't recognize the benefits of going all the way back to the forest for the slight chance that Dimitri might have information, while here, we actually have access to a way that leads us right back into the monastery." 

"Yes, Lorenz, but you seem to fail to see the benefits of a lot of things." 

Linhardt is actually pretty funny when he isn't targeting me. Lorenz is rendered speechless, not for the first time.

"Look, right now we can't make it through the passage because there are people there that guard it." I look at Linhardt for confirmation. "If we get Dimitri and his members, perhaps we can make it with their help." 

It's practically a win-win situation. 

Hilda groans loudly. "Fine! Fine, we'll just travel for hours and hours." 

"I'll carry your bag, don't worry!" Raphael booms.

"Well, okay. If you insist." She giggles.

Typical, but at least she's coming. No room to complain. 

"Alright, let's all pack our things. We'll head out as soon as everyone's ready." 

.

We're back on our way, to the forest this time. I'm happy we're all together. Linhardt decided he'd join us, rather than wait for Edelgard.

I'm still having a few doubts about his intentions, but I don't have any real reason to. I'll just ignore it for the time being and trust him like I said I would. He's a healer, so he's always useful. 

"Does anybody know a song or something?" 

"Claude, we're not singing!" 

"Ugh, please don't." 

"Absolutely not!" 

"Yeah! Let's sing!" 

"Raphael, no!"

"Aw." 

Wow, how boring. 

.

"So, here we are." The tall trees are much more intimidating than they seemed at first. 

"So, now what? We just go in and start our search?" Lorenz raises one of his eyebrow at me.

That was the plan, yes. I don't like how he's ridiculing it.

"Hold on." Linhardt speaks up. "Aren't we going to take a break first? I'm tired, I want to sleep." 

Lysithea groans at him. "Maybe we should discuss some sort of plan first. We were lucky on our way here, since we didn't see any infected, but we saw one in the forest before." 

She's right. It's much harder to fight while we're in a forest and on top of that, there's the risk of getting lost or split up somehow.

"Oh, right. I noticed that on the east side of the monastery, there's a significantly less amount of infected." Linhardt yawns. "I could really use a break. My poor legs." 

Leonie and Lysithea scold him for being weak, but I can't afford to listen to them. Linhardt might be onto something here. 

If what Linhardt says is true, is the source of the magic on the other side then? Behind the forest? That would mean we'll be encountering more infected. And they might even be stronger because the source of the magic will be closer.

I don't know if we're ready for this. 

"Well Claude, what are we doing? Taking a break or are we going in?" 

I look at Leonie. I know she wouldn't mind going in already, but when I glance at Linhardt, Hilda, Ignatz and Marianne even, they don't look so fresh.

"We'll take a break first. Drink some water and give our legs a bit of rest before we go in." 

"Ah, bless you." Linhardt sits down on the grass right after I stop talking.

Doing that earns him a glare from Leonie, but I'd rather have everyone in good shape before we take on this new challenge. 

Ignatz takes a bottle of water from his bag and gulps down its contents. "That's much better." 

"Here, want some more?" Raphael offers his own bottle, but Ignatz politely refuses. 

"No thank you, I wouldn't want you to run out." 

"It's fine, I have a few spares. Here, take it." 

Ignatz takes the bottle, thanking Raphael.

What a wholesome pair of friends. 

We only take a break of about fifteen minutes before everyone is ready to go. 

"Before we enter, I'd like to warn you all that this forest is going to be profusely more dangerous than what we've experienced up to now. We've been in the forest before, but never too deep, so we don't know what to expect this time. What I absolutely want is that we stay together no matter what. If anybody gets separated, we'll search for them until we find them." 

I'd never forgive myself knowing someone died all alone because we refused to make an effort to look for them.

My group nods at me and I'm pretty sure I got through to them. I hope I did, this is important.

"What do you mean, more dangerous? It's still the same old infected, right?" Hilda's scared, I can see it in her eyes. 

Lorenz turns to her to answer. "The surroundings are different. Our vision and moving space is limited, especially compared to the open spaces we've fought them in before." 

"Not just that." I add. "What Linhardt said before made me realize something. It's possible that the source of magic that's controlling the infected is located on the other side of this forest. If that's the case, there's the possibility that the infected will be stronger the closer they are to that source. Just stay on your guards. All of you." 

It's not just Hilda who looks unsure anymore. They all seem a little uncomfortable knowing the dangers now and having to go into this dreaded forest after.

"Guys, look how close we are. If it's behind this forest, all we have to do is destroy the magic and they'll be free. We will be free. Please, we're so close." 

If we can make it, if we can actually do this, we'll be heroes. Imagine that. We'll be the ones who saved this country. We'll be able to rebuild everything, rebuild our own lives and be free. And we're so close to obtaining that. 

"We're with you, Claude! Until the very end!" Raphael raises his one arm enthusiastically.

Lysithea nods at that. "We could prove Linhardt's theory in this forest, there's no way I'm staying behind now." 

"And even if it's wrong," Linhardt ponders, "we could always just find the Blue Lions and get out of here." 

Lorenz is wearing a small smile. "I suppose you're going to need me in there." 

Leonie punches his shoulder, which shifts his smile into a scowl. "And me! I'm not staying behind. I want to see this through to the very end."

"We're coming along as well, aren't we?" Ignatz turns to Marianne and Hilda.

Marianne nods, but Hilda still isn't convinced. 

I walk over to her. 

"I'm scared, Claude. I-I can't forget the image of Raphael getting slashed with that axe, I-" 

"Shh, I know. That was really scary, wasn't it?" 

She nods, squeezing her hands together.

"But do you remember that it was the Blue Lions who saved you back there? What if they're in trouble, and they need us this time? We need to save them too." 

She looks at me with teary eyes. For the first time, I actually believe they're genuine tears.

"And what about your family? Your parents, and Holst? They miss you, they want to see you again." 

"I want to see them, too…" She wipes the tears from her eyes. "I want to go back too! Take us back home Claude, you're the only one who can." 

That's more like it.

"Never lose sight of the reward, Hilda. That's what we're doing it for." 

She nods before she pushes our bodies together in a hug. "Thank you, Claude." 

"You're welcome, Hilda." 

We break apart and I look around the young faces of the people standing around me. Boy, I hope we'll all live to see the end.

"We ready?" 

They nod and like that, we finally head into the forest, in search of the Blue Lions.

.

"Hold on." Ignatz whispers. 

Everyone stops moving. I know Ignatz' vision is amazing, so I believe his alarms immediately.

I put my hand up to signal everyone. "Ready your weapons." 

"I-I saw something at uhm… t-two o'clock. No, ten o'clock." He pauses. "It was ten." 

"Which is it?" Linhardt's annoyed voice is way too loud.

"Shh! Not so loud!" And Lysithea's voice is even louder as she tries to shush Linhardt.

I make a silent prayer in my head. We're all going to die here, I'm sure of it.

"Oh my god, it's coming!" Hilda screams.

Well if it wasn't yet, it surely is now.

I hear Marianne say something in herself quietly. "-please, let it be a painless death. Amen." 

Such an optimistic girl.

"Ignatz, just shoot it already!" Hilda needs to stop screaming. Right. Now.

"I can't get a good aim on it. Sorry!" 

"Wait, is that-" 

"Look at that!" Raphael's voice booms over Leonie's.

"A deer?!" 

"It's a deer." 

"Oh my god, it's just a deer." 

"Really, a deer?" I've been wanting to see one so bad! 

"Yes, right there." Ignatz points it out for me.

I approach it quietly, so I won't scare it. It's absolutely beautiful. The antlers on its head indicate that it's a male. 

It doesn't run away just yet, so I stick out my hand towards it. If it would just let me touch it…

Very carefully, I close the distance between the deer and myself with my hand. Its short fur isn't soft, it's more a bristly feeling, but I love it. It's looking at my hand curiously. 

"Oh my god, he's touching it" someone whispers behind me, but I don't know who it is. 

This is a moment I won't ever forget. The only animals I've ever seen are birds and stray cats and dogs in the monastery. I'm sure I've seen other animals during my life before the monastery, but I can't remember that. 

"Can't we hunt it down and eat the meat?" Now, I'm sure that that's Leonie asking that. 

I turn around with an angry look. If anyone dares to kill this beautiful animal, I'm coming for them. Right as I turn around, I see something move inbetween the trees from the corner of my eye. 

"Get away!" I shout, right before an infected jumps out of the trees. Ignatz and Leonie barely managed to avoid getting hit.

The deer jumps away and sprints off into the distance, leaving us alone with the infected.

"Don't hesitate, we need to take it down quickly." 

"No, wait! What about Linhardt's theory?" Lysithea looks panicked. 

"Is now really the time to be testing that?!" Leonie screams back at her.

For fuck's sake. "Now is certainly not the time to argue!" 

Raphael decides to take matters into his hand and swings his axe into the infected's chest. It crashes into the tree behind it, effectively immobilizing it, but not killing it just yet. 

"How's that?" He asks. 

That was perfect, Raph. Absolute perfection.

"That's convenient." Linhardt yawns. "Now Lysithea, if you would." 

"With pleasure," she replies before she closes her eyes to cast a magic spell. 

"I could do that too," Lorenz grumbles.

Lysithea huffs. "No you can't."

Roasting Lorenz even when she's focusing on casting magic. What a legend.

The air around us shifts, I can literally feel the magic power Lysithea is gathering for her spell. Was she always this powerful? Unbelievable.

She mutters a few words I don't recognize before a pillar of dark purple magic appears from under the infected's feet, causing it to be enveloped in the destructive magic Lysithea just casted upon it. 

I shall forever remind myself not to get on Lysithea's bad side.

"That's terrifying." Linhardt says and I agree with him wholeheartedly.

The destructive pillar of magic slowly disappears into thin air, leaving only a dead tree and a mutilated body behind.

"It worked! It really worked!" Lysithea is jumping up and down from joy. 

"That's… I can't believe it." Lorenz turns to Lysithea. "When and how did you learn to cast Hades?" 

"Who cares! Linhardt was right, now all we need to do is take out the caster of the spell and we're done!" 

That's really true. Now that we know it's a magic spell they're under, we just need to break that spell. 

Everyone is cheering and letting out phrases of relief and I happily join in the celebrating.

"Perhaps we should… Hello? Perhaps we- Men and women, we should… MAYBE we should be a little more quiet and find the Blue Lions now?" Lorenz just can't catch a break today.

He's right though. We shouldn't be so loud if we want to keep a low profile and not lure any infected towards us.

"As much as I hate to say this, Lorenz is right. Let's find the Blue Lions as quickly as we can so we can get out of here." 

Lorenz glares at me, but the rest agrees, so we're back on our way. 

Linhardt explains to Ignatz how to use the clock for directions. "Ah, yes that makes sense. Sorry for messing it up earlier." Ignatz chuckles.

For a second, I was scared that Linhardt would be rude to our cinnamon roll, but it seems even Linhardt knows who can deal with his attitude and who's more sensitive to such a thing.

"Hold up." Leonie spots something this time.

Everyone automatically holds their weapons on the ready this time. 

"Can I kill that deer?" She asks. 

I sigh. "Absolutely not. We're moving on." 

It's probably not fair of me to prohibit the others from eating meat, but the idea of killing an animal just so they can eat it makes my stomach churn. I've never eaten meat in my life and I really don't plan on starting now.

"You're the one who said you wanted good food instead of the 'canned crap', remember?" 

"No, I don't." I do, but I don't want her to use that as an excuse to kill that deer.

Raphael sighs. "Damn, I'd like some meat by now. It's been so long." 

How long has it been already? We've been out here longer than a week, about eight days then? Maybe nine? It feels so much longer than that. 

Probably because so much has happened in those few days. 

"Can I shoot that rabbit, then?" 

She's just not going to give up, is she?

"No, we're not murdering animals to eat them." 

"Why not?" She persists. "Meat is full of proteins, we could use that." 

Raphael is quick to agree with her. "Yeah! How do you think I gained all this muscle?" 

"We can get energy from our canned crap. I still have some if you're hungry." 

I want to stop arguing about this already. No one is killing and preparing an animal to eat it anywhere near me. I'm not compromising on that. 

"It's not that I'm hungry, I just want to eat meat. We'll never get to eat deer meat in the monastery. I wanna know what it tastes like." 

"You can do that when I'm dead. End of discussion." 

Leonie huffs. "Wow, aren't you moody?" 

I decide to not pay that comment any attention, instead focusing on our surroundings. 

Someone else took over arguing with Leonie for me, which I'm thankful for. I think it's Linhardt, so hopefully Leonie will drop it soon. That guy is impossible to win an argument from.

We've been walking for quite a few hours already. It's getting late and the orange color in the sky means bad news for us. The sun is starting to set and I just now realized that our tents are still lying in front of the monastery, right where we left them.

Well, fuck. 

Hilda grabs my arm and links it with hers. "Should we set up a camp?"

We probably should. I'll still have enough time to make a fire. 

"Yeah, let's just find an open spot." She nods and passes on the message to the others. 

"Uhm, we don't have our tents. Are we really sleeping out in the open?" Lysithea asks.

I hate it too, but we don't really have a choice. 

"Sorry, I completely forgot to pick up our tents before we went inside. So, yes, we're sleeping out in the open." 

"I'm sure it won't be that bad. There are hardly any bugs out here." Raphael tries to comfort. 

But then I see something that makes my heart beat faster. Can this really be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading!! :)


	23. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincere apologies because there is big sad in this chapter
> 
> But there's also incredibly awkward and bitty romance in this chapter, and maybe even an itty bitty funny, so hopefully that makes up for the big sad
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!

Could that really be? 

"Guys, keep an eye out. I need to go check something." 

I don't even wait for any answer before I rush to the thing I just saw. 

If it's really what I think it is, then…

"Where are you going?" Leonie shouts after me.

"Just have my back!" I shout back at her. 

"You say that like it's easy." She murmurs before she and the gang follows after me.

I rush through the trees, not paying much attention to my surroundings. I'm amazed at how much I trust the people behind me to protect me, but they've proven themselves more than once, so they deserve every single bit of that trust.

While running around being distracted, I barely manage to duck under the swing of a lance. I'm pretty sure my hair just got a trim.

Holy fucking shit. If that had hit where it was aiming, I would have lost my head in a heartbeat. 

"Claude! Are you okay?!" Hilda really needs to stop screaming so loudly if she doesn't want to become the next target.

I try to create some distance between me and my attacker, but I don't see it anywhere from where I'm currently sitting on the soil. 

Shit, get up.

I barely manage to get back on my feet before I'm tackled back to the ground. 

"Oh my god, get away!" Hilda sounds terrified.

Well duh, hadn't thought of trying that yet. If only I actually could. The pressure on top of my body is too much for me to push away easily.

"Claude, it's really you… I'm so glad." 

Wait, Dimitri? Now I understand why my body hasn't been impaled with a lance yet.

"Dude, you scared the shit out of me!" 

His arms hold my body tightly, but I'm not sure if the effort is the reason of why he's shaking. 

"I'm so glad you're okay…" he whispers in my ear.

It gives me goosebumps.

"Is he dead..?" Linhardt asks. "Claude, are you dead?" 

"There's no way… right?" Lysithea sounds unsure. 

Do they not recognize Dimitri or something? 

"Guys, I'm fine! It's just Dimitri, don't worry." 

A silence settles over my group. 

Hilda speaks up eventually. "What's he doing?"

I don't know Hilda, I'm literally lying underneath him, I can't see or do shit.

"Hey, you okay big guy? I'm fine, you can get off of me now." Perhaps I could coax him off my body so I can question him. 

Why is he alone? I mean, I saw a tent and that's where I was headed, but where is the rest of his group? 

"Dimitri?" 

"Ah, yes, sorry. I was just… Sorry, I'll get off of you." He lifts his body off mine before he helps me up as well. 

I finally get a good look at him and damn, he looks like shit. 

His clothes, face and usually blonde hair are completely covered in mud and blood. I can see why the others didn't recognize him, I can't even recognize him and I know that's Dimitri standing in front of me.

"Are you sure that's Dimitri?" 

I know Ignatz asked, but when I turn to look at him, I see him and all the others standing at a safe distance, about two meters away from us. They all have their weapons ready to attack if they need to.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's Dimitri. Y'all have nothing to worry about." At least I hope not. I turn to Dimitri. "So, what happened to you, your highness?" 

He sighs before he answers. "Please don't call me that anymore. But I… I got separated from the others. Actually, we all got split up. I don't know where anyone else is. I've been searching, but this forest is too large and dense. The only person I could find was…" 

His voice trembled during that last sentence. 

He says he found someone, but he's still on his own. I don't want to ask who he found or in what state.

He takes a deep breath before he continues. "The only person I could find was Ashe, but he…" He pauses, clenching his teeth. "I had to cut him down, I… He attacked me, I didn't know what to do. It was like he lost his mind, as if he… he'd become one of them." 

Shit, not Ashe. That poor boy. That really hurts.

"It's all my fault. I should have done better. I'm so sorry…" 

No, no this is bad. He shouldn't blame himself for this. Say something, say something.

"No, Dimitri it's not your fault." That works. "This place is just fucked up." I'm not entirely sure what I can do to comfort him, so I settle for taking the hand that isn't holding his lance.  
"We'll help you look for the others. We'll find them, no matter what." 

That's the promise I made to my own group, and I'm planning to keep that promise.

He looks at our linked hands and I swear I can see tears in his eyes before he blinks them away.

He squeezes my fingers. "Thank you. Thank you, so much." 

I squeeze his hand back. "Don't thank me, I owe you this much." 

I owe you so, incredibly much. This is the least I can do.

.

We made our camp near Dimitri's tent. I managed to get a fire started before the sun disappeared completely, so we have at least a bit of light in this complete darkness.

Hilda and Lorenz helped Dimitri wash his hair and face with the water she, or rather Raphael, had been carrying. I had no idea she'd been hoarding water like a madman, but I'm glad she did.

Bless Hilda for finding her hair more important than surviving. 

Dimitri actually looks like Dimitri again and Raphael was kind enough to lend him a clean shirt and a pair of pants. I would have given him some of my clothes, but they're probably just a bit too small for him to be comfortable.

I did give him some of my food rations. He looks like he hasn't had much to eat for a few days. 

"How awful, we'll try our absolute hardest to find your friends." Lysithea assures Dimitri after he told the others what happened.

"Do we really have time for that though?" Linhardt ponders. "I mean, wouldn't it be better if we got rid of the infected first, before we keep risking our lives by wandering around in this forest?" 

He has a point. But I just can't do that. I owe this to Dimitri and his Lions.

"Linhardt!" Lysithea hisses. "Remember what Claude told us before we went in? 'If we get split up, we'll find the others, no matter what'. That rule applies to this situation too." 

"I think Linhardt has a point." Leonie mingles in the conversation. "It'd be much safer for us to release the magic first and then look for the others. They would be safer too." 

"No, I think we need to look for them as soon as we can. They saved my life, I want to save theirs as quickly as possible!" Raphael looks at his left arm as he speaks.

I lean towards Dimitri, who's sitting next to me. "Don't mind them, they argue a lot. I promise we'll look for your friends first thing tomorrow. I'll make sure of that." 

He looks unsure at first, but then smiles at me. "Thank you. But what's that about releasing magic they just mentioned?" 

Ah, right. I guess now would be a good time to tell him everything we found out in the village.

I start my story with how we went to the village to prove my theory of the underground tunnel. I tell him we found a barely alive Linhardt there, and I tell him about the fact that the infected can carry diseases and spread them by biting. 

He gently runs his fingers over the scar on my wrist when I show him. "Ugly, right?" 

"Just a little," he answers. 

"At least you're honest, jerk." I playfully push his shoulder and he laughs at that. 

I'm seriously dreading the part where I have to tell him about Edelgard's current whereabouts. 

Should I leave that part out and just tell him we don't know where she is? But that wouldn't really be fair to him. He deserves to know.

"So uhm…" I start intelligently.

He has an expectant look.

"Linhardt confirmed there is indeed an underground passage to the monastery."

His eyes light up. I wonder for how long.

"And he also told us that…" Why is this so hard? I don't know how he'll react, but I fear it.

He nods. "What?" 

I'll just tell him all at once. To just get it over with. "He told us that Edelgard knew from the start that the walls wouldn't open for us, so she lead her group to the passage and they all went back into the monastery. That's where they likely are right now." 

He thinks it over for a bit before he responds. "So, does Linhardt know where the passage is then?" 

I nod. I wonder how long it'll take before he actually realizes what I just said. 

"Why didn't you use that passage to go back inside as well? You shouldn't be out here if you can help it." 

Why is he so focused on me? 

"Because I knew you were still out here. And besides, we're confident we found a way to get rid of the infected. Or rather, get rid of what's causing them to behave the way they do. We're gonna fix this." 

"You really came here for me?" He asks. 

It hurts how hopeful he sounds, even though I don't know what he's hoping for.

"Yes. The passage is guarded apparently and Linhardt told us we'll probably have to fight our way through. So we figured we could use your help with that." 

"Ah, I see." Is he disappointed? "I'll gladly help you." 

I smile at him. "Thanks, I appreciate that." 

We sit in silence after that. I'm just listening to the others arguing. I wonder what Dimitri's thinking now.

Meanwhile, Lysithea is actually sounding angry from their argument. "We're looking for the others. The end."

"Are you even listening to yourself? What if we'll be wasting days looking for them? We have to release the magic first." Lorenz sounds equally angry.

She huffs. "It's not wasting if it's for a good cause." 

"The good cause would be to save the infected along with the Blue Lions." Linhardt meddles.

"I don't even care what you all have to say, Claude agrees with me so we'll look for the others. Unless you all want to split up again, Lorenz." She stresses his name to make her point.

She's really one spicy girl. 

Dimitri's soft voice interrupts my thoughts. "Claude?" 

"Hm?" When I look, his face nowhere near matches the softness of his voice.

"Is it really true that Edelgard knew the walls wouldn't open for us?" 

Ah, the moment I feared.

"Yes. It's true, they left during the giant sleepover. Did she never tell you anything about taking over the monastery?" 

I don't know if he'll answer that question. He looks furious.

"So then, she could have told me, told us, that there was a way to return?" 

I just nod. I'm honestly scared to say anything right now.

"So Ashe died because she refused to do just that?" His voice is calm, but there's a storm waging behind his eyes.

I swallow. "Linhardt didn't know why she didn't tell us anything. He said it could be because she didn't want us to meddle with her plans of taking over." 

He stays quiet for a few seconds before he starts laughing. It sounds almost manic and it makes my heart hurt for him.

"Is this some kind of twisted joke?!" 

I don't know what to say, so I stay silent. I'm sorry Dimitri.

He gets up to walk off, disappearing within the trees.

No, what's he doing? He shouldn't just run off like that!

"Dimitri, wait-!" I stumble after him without alerting anyone else. 

How stupid of me.

I run after Dimitri, but he's extremely difficult to follow in these dark woods. There's barely any light and the trees and fallen branches really aren't making this chase any easier.

"Dimitri, stop! Where are you going? There might be infected out here!" 

"Then stay away!" He screams at me.

His voice sounds so far away already. This is bad. I know that the infected don't seem to wander when there's no light for them to see in, but we might be luring them our way with the sound of our voices.

"Dimitri, please!" Please, don't run from me.

I hear the branches he breaks with his feet further and further away from my own.

This is insane. What does he even plan on doing? He probably needs to let off some steam, but why does he need to do that so far away?

I stop running to catch my breath. I'll catch up with him eventually. 

It doesn't even take me long to find him after that. He's standing in front of a tree, hitting it over and over with his fists before his knees give out and he collapses on the soil underneath him, panting harshly. 

"Dimitri..?" I alert him of my presence before I come closer. The last thing I want is one of those fists against my face.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for running off," he sobs. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore." 

"Hey, it's okay." I move closer to where he's sitting and I crouch next to him. I take hold of both his hands to examine his sore fists. Ouchies. "Let's go back, those hands need treatment." 

My fingers run over his bloodied knuckles gently. The blood sticks to my fingers everytime I touch the wounds.

"It'll heal." He whispers.

I remember this. He said the same thing back in the library that night.

I only wish the circumstances were the same. 

Back then, it was because people discriminate me. Now, it's because a dear friend lost his life for no apparent reason.

I let go of his hands, not because of a silly gust of wind this time, but so that I can take hold of his entire body. I pull him close to me, just like what he did for me back when Raphael was attacked.

His arms immediately wrap around my body, his hands gripping my shirt tight. His whole body is trembling.

I don't really know what to say that could comfort him right now, so I settle with rubbing my hands over his shoulders in a hopefully soothing way. Damn, that's a large surface to cover.

"I hate this. I hate this so much." He sobs loudly. "Why am I so useless? Everything I do, I fuck up somehow." 

Useless? Dude, what? He saved my friends.

"What are you talking about? None of this is your fault, Dimitri. It's part of a chain reaction. If anyone's responsible, it's Rhea. She sent us out here." 

He sniffles. "Why did she do that? How could she be so cruel?" 

"I don't know, Dimitri. I really don't." Man, I wish I did.

Never thought I'd see Dimitri of all people having a mental breakdown. Imagine how I feel about holding him while it's happening.

I hate it. 

I hope we can find the rest of the Blue Lions soon. Alive, that is. 

.

Dimitri and I manage to find our way back to camp safely. After he bawled his eyes out on my shoulder, we agreed we'd go back to get his hands healed.

Leonie is always the first to notice something or someone approaching. "Hey, where'd you guys run off to?" 

"My apologies. I-I kinda lost control when Claude told me what happened with Edelgard. I'm okay now though." Dimitri looks embarrassed at admitting it.

He has nothing to be embarrassed about.

"Here, have some tea! I-if you'd like…" Ignatz holds out a cup towards Dimitri.

"Thank you." 

We sit down again with the others and thankfully, no one brings up the discussion of whether we look for the Lions or not again.

"Oh dear, look at your hands. What in the world have you done?" Linhardt looks disapprovingly at Dimitri's hands.

"Oh, uhm…" 

Lysithea crawls over to Dimitri to sit in front of him. "Oh! Can I heal that? Please? I want to work more on mastering white magic!"

"Of course, please, go ahead." Dimitri stretches out his arms in front of Lysithea so she can heal the hurt skin.

"No, Lysithea. You're doing it wrong. It needs to be slower, more gradually, so you can give the skin a chance to heal properly. That way, it won't scar as much." Linhardt takes over one hand to demonstrate the right way to heal the wound.

Lysithea watches intently before she copies Linhardt's way of healing. As Linhardt said, his way causes less scarred skin on Dimitri's knuckles. 

She looks excitedly at Linhardt to gain his approval, but catches herself in the act before she turns her head away from him again. "Thanks, I guess." She says coolly.

I think I'm starting to see what's going on with those two.

"Thank you both so much." Dimitri lowers his head in grattitude.

But Lysithea only has eyes for Linhardt. "Could you teach me more ways to heal? I'd like to become a good healer too, if possible."

Linhardt yawns before he answers. "I guess. Let's use Raphael's arm for demonstrations." 

Lysithea nods enthusiastically before they head over to Raphael.

I'm not sure if that's such a good idea, but if it could benefit Raphael or Lysithea in any way, they should try it. 

Dimitri now nudges my side with his elbow. "I believe you weren't finished yet with your story." 

He's smiling again, which I'm very happy about.

"Right, releasing the magic. So…" 

I explain Linhardt's theory of the infected's immunity to magic and how we proved it to be true earlier today. My explanation ends with our plan to find the magic source and destroy it so we can free the infected.

"Wow, I can't believe you discovered all that. I should have never doubted your theories, as unbelievable as they may have sounded to me." He actually looks ashamed of himself.

"That's fine, trust me, even these guys don't always believe me when I claim something." I gesture at my Deer plus Linhardt, sitting around the fire. 

They're all chatting and talking away, like we're on some kind of camping trip. 

"They're a great bunch." Dimitri admits and I can't do anything but agree.

"They're the best." 

.

"I can't believe we forgot to get our tents." Lysithea mutters. "I don't want to sleep here in the open." 

"Don't worry, I'll keep watch!" 

Ignatz is such a sweetheart. 

"That's not really the problem, but thanks." 

"Uhm, where am I supposed to put my head? I'm not putting my head in this, this mud." Hilda looks at me expectantly, but I really don't know where else she can put her head.

"Uhm, how about your arms?" I try, but she doesn't look convinced.

"You can sleep in my tent, if you like." Dimitri proposes.

"Oh, thank you! Don't mind me if I do." Hilda giggles and grabs her stuff before she crawls into the tent right after. 

"Uhm, I actually meant Clau-"

"Hey! Let me in there too!" Lysithea follows her inside quickly.

"Or you could share it…" He sighs in defeat before he turns to me. "Sorry, I meant that you could use it." 

I laugh before I answer. "That's fine, let the girls use it. I don't mind sleeping out here in the open." 

He smiles, but doesn't reply for a while. 

"Are you going to sleep now?" He asks after some time.

"I'm not sure if I can sleep already, so probably not. What about you?" 

He looks surprised by my question, which I find weird. "Oh, uhm… I actually wanted to talk to you a little more. I-if that's okay with you." 

He's back to being nervous again. 

"I don't mind. What did you want to talk about?" 

He looks around at the others. He doesn't seem to like what he sees though, if his furrowed brows are anything to go by.

"Uhm, the… The sickness? You said you were sick, right?" 

Weird change of subject, but I'll play along to see what he really wants to talk about. I guess too many people can listen in on us right now.

"Yeah, that was crazy. Like, it bit me and right after I took it down, I got so incredibly tired. I don't know what was up with that, but I fell asleep right after. Then Lysithea woke me up and I couldn't even open my eyes because they were so swollen. We eventually managed to get to the church and I slept for like three days before I finally felt better." 

He chuckles softly. I just decided that I like that sound. 

"Wow, three days, you're almost like Sleeping Beauty from the story." He teases.

Since when does he get to do the teasing here? How the tables have turned.

"Hey! I'm nothing like any princess. I don't need some prince to save me." 

"Oh, my apologies. I didn't think you'd get angry." 

"I- I'm not angry. I'm just, you know…" 

He looks amused. Too amused.

"Ugh, never mind." Is this pouting? Am I actually pouting? Unbelievable.

He chuckles again. "And what if the prince were me?" His voice is soft, but unwavering.

Is he still teasing me? Psh, no one out-teases me around these parts.

"If you were the prince, you should have kissed me awake." 

He just stares at me, which makes me feel incredibly awkward. I didn't really say anything weird, right? He kissed Edelgard lots of times.

"I mean, you know… If I were a princess…" 

This normally doesn't happen. I can tease Hilda about penises all day without feeling awkward at all.

"But you aren't." He sighs. "You're not a princess who needs a prince." 

"And you aren't a prince, remember? You wanted me to stop calling you that." 

He smiles again. It makes me smile too.

"And since we aren't princes or princesses, I'm guessing kisses are off the table?" He looks straight into my eyes.

I'm struggling to see if he's teasing me now or not. He's looking awfully serious to be teasing right now.

"Well, I'm not asleep right now, so I can't say I need any kisses." 

He huffs a soft laugh. "Would you let me know when you do?" 

Fun fact; I've never actually kissed anyone before. Well, besides my mother. I have no idea of when I'm supposed to need a kiss.

"I believe the princesses needed kisses when they were unconscious. I can't talk when I'm unconscious." 

"Who ever said I want to kiss you when you're unconscious?" He licks his lips. 

"You... want to kiss me when I'm conscious then?" 

Wait, what? What the fuck? What is he saying? And what am I saying in return?! 

"If… If you'd let me." He whispers. He closes his eyes and starts leaning his head closer to mine.

Oh crap, oh shit. This isn't really happening. He's just messing with me, right? There's no other way. We're both guys, that'd be weird.

I can see Dimitri's head coming closer to me slowly. My heart is beating incredibly fast and my hands are getting sweaty. Shit, what do I do?

"Okay, okay, I give in, you win. You're the better teaser." 

He quickly opens his eyes and hurriedly leans away from me again. He almost falls over. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…" He rubs his face with his hands.

I couldn't really see earlier because of the orange light from the fire, but I recognize that gesture. He's blushing furiously. 

Does that mean he was actually going to..?

Oh my fucking god.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't really get what you were saying… and doing, and trying. And stuff." Fuck, this is awkward.

He smiles at me, but he looks as awkward as I'm feeling. And I can't even verbally express how awkward I feel.

He coughs. "Uhm, perhaps it's getting time to sleep." 

Yes, I absolutely think so. "Yeah, let's just do that." 

We both lie down on the soil, a safe distance between us and backs facing each other. 

Right before I fall asleep, I hear someone mutter something.

"Imagine being that awkward." 

Shut up, Lorenz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!


	24. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo thank everyone who made it this far with reading I hope you're still enjoying the story 
> 
> I know I am very much enjoying all the hits and kudos and comments!!! Thank you so so so much for doing all that it means a lot to me
> 
> So, in this chapter we'll finally half-meet someone you may have been wondering about 
> 
> And also some sad 
> 
> But also a very happy moment like I wasn't sure of whether I wanted it to happen already or if I should have waited but I made it happen 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!!

There's sand in my mouth and eyes and my back hurts like crazy when I wake up after a terrible night. Why did I allow Hilda and Lysithea to use Dimitri's tent again? 

"So, how did you survive all on your own? I mean, we're struggling and we're with nine people!" Hilda's obnoxious high voice pierces through my eardrums.

I'm pretty sure she's asking Dimitri that question. Honestly, if he attacked everything with the strength and speed he attacked me with, it's not that weird to think he can take care of himself. That was terrifying.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. You're late, as always." 

"Shut up, Lorenz." Asshole.

He just takes a sip from his tea, not commenting any further.

I sit up to rub the sleep from my eyes. I slept terribly last night. 

"Please don't tell us that your morning mood came back." Ignatz pleads.

"I never had morning wood." I grumble.

Hilda laughs loudly. 

"I-I said morning mood! Mood, with an 'm'!" Ignatz sputters.

Ah, my bad.

"Oh my god, can you not?" Lysithea groans. 

"If you want to camp with the grown-ups, you can take this like a grown-up," I tell her. 

She huffs. "As if! No one wants to know about your, your… you know what. Whether they're grown-ups or not!" 

"I can think of one person." Lorenz teases. 

"Hilda doesn't actually care about my you know what. We just mess around." What a weird thought.

Lysithea actually smacks her forehead at that. "Not Hilda, dum-dum!" 

I'm genuinely confused. "Who would want to know about that then?" 

Dimitri intermeddles with a high-pitched voice. "W-why don't you have breakfast with us? We've been waiting for you." 

"We haven't," Lorenz corrects, "you have." 

Dimitri blushes at that before he tries to misdirect the attention from the subject by offering me some green plants I haven't seen before. 

I look at the plants, then back to Dimitri, then back to the plants.

He insists. "You can eat them, they're pretty good. I promise."

"Or perhaps you'd like Dimitri to feed you." 

Dimitri nearly drops the bowl with plants.

Hilda sighs loudly. "Lorenz! Get off their backs already! I'm sure they'll manage to work it out without your meddling." 

Work out what? I take the bowl from Dimitri and start eating. These are pretty good.

"Hm, I only have doubts about that. Mercedes' subtle actions didn't do much, so maybe a more obvious approach would work for these two dimwits." 

Dimwits. I'm a dum-dum first, now I'm a dimwit. What is with these people today?

"I'm actually pretty smart, I'll have you know." Just to make that clear.

Literally everyone looks at me unimpressed. I almost feel insulted. Hold on a second… everyone?

"Where are Leonie and Raphael?" Were they gone when I woke up?

No one answers me for a few seconds. 

"Are they okay? Did something happen to them last night? Please tell me they're okay." 

My heart is about to stop beating. This can't be happening.

Linhardt finishes yawning before he answers. "Yes, they're fine." 

I let out a sigh of relief. Thank god. 

"So, where are they then?" Why are they all acting so weird? 

No one answers me still. 

"Marianne, where'd they go?" She'll answer me, I'm sure. 

"Oh, uhm… I think Leonie took Raphael to go hunting with her…" She doesn't look at me as she speaks, instead fiddling with her fingers.

They're seriously hunting? For fuck's sake. 

"You been doing okay, Marie? You've been so quiet lately." I hope there isn't a specific reason for that. 

"Y-yes, I'm fine. I'm just… I'm just trying to keep up with everything, is all." 

I sympathize with her. When I asked what she wants her life to be like in the future, she answered she wants to live a quiet life. This whole shitty situation is anything but quiet.

"You're doing an amazing job at that. Thank you for everything you do for us." 

She looks up from where she was focusing on her fingers. She nods and actually smiles at me briefly before she turns her head away again. 

Her smiles are the most beautiful ones. Too bad she barely ever shows them.

"So, hunting huh?" I ask no one in particular. 

Ignatz and Lysithea shift uncomfortably in their seats. Are they scared of me or something?

"I tried to tell them they shouldn't, but they wouldn't listen…" Lysithea admits. 

I'm not sure if anyone else here is vegetarian like myself. All I know is that I'll probably lose my lid if I see Leonie and Raphael return while carrying a dead deer or any other animal.

"I guess they should eat whatever they want to." 

It wouldn't be right for me to be angry about this. I don't want to force my ways on other people.

"A-are you sure about that? You seemed pretty steadfast on this before." Ignatz asks. 

Not really. "Yeah. I'm just… I think I'll just go for a walk when they return. I don't need to see that." 

"I'm coming with you." Linhardt announces. "I don't eat meat either and I absolutely hate the sight of blood." 

I nod. It'd be good to have him around in case we encounter an infected. 

"I'd like to come too, if that's okay." Dimitri looks at me for permission.

I'm not saying no to this powerhouse. If he hadn't offered, I would have probably asked him myself. I like spending time with him too.

"Of course that's okay. You sure you don't want to eat meat then?" I still need to ask, just in case he'd rather eat than come along.

He just shakes his head. "No, I think I'll stop eating meat." 

"Talk about dedication!" Hilda giggles. "But surely you won't stop eating every single kind of meat, right?" 

Dimitri looks at her confused, but I'm pretty sure I understand what she's talking about. 

"What is up with you all today? Especially you, Lorenz." Do they have a problem with Dimitri or something? 

"I merely told everyone what I saw and heard last night. That includes your awkward flirting and Dimitri trying to ki-" 

Dimitri gets up in a hurry, drawing the attention to himself. "Okay, yes, thank you for that!" 

Why is he thanking him? Dimitri can be so weird sometimes, it just makes me laugh.

"Guys! Look what we got!" Leonie's voice comes from behind a few trees.

"And it's time to leave." Linhardt gets up as well.

"Sorry for eating meat, Claude." Hilda says quietly.

I shrug. "It's your own choice, don't let me stop you." 

I wipe my hands on my pants before I join Linhardt and Dimitri. Right when I see Leonie appear, I turn around to head off to the other direction. 

"We're off then." 

.

"So, Dimitri," Linhardt starts after we've walked for a while.

Mentioned guy looks up. "Yes?" 

"What do you know about Edelgard?" 

This is gonna be interesting. I just hope Dimitri isn't going to have a mental breakdown again. I'd hate to see him so vulnerable again.

"Ah." Is all he says at first. 

I guess the subject is still sensitive. I don't blame him. 

He continues nevertheless, "Edelgard is… She's a little bit sneaky." 

I wouldn't have guessed, ever. 

"Please, elaborate." Linhardt says.

Dimitri sighs. "She was always up to something. One time she'd be busy with deposing one of the nobles who she thought wronged her, other times she was blackmailing somebody into doing different kinds of things for her. Whenever I found out about those or she told me, I disapproved of her actions, leading to another fight between us. Eventually, we both got so sick of the fighting that she stopped telling me and I stopped caring." 

"But you still kept up your relationship?" I ask. That really doesn't make sense to me.

He bites his lip before he replies. "It… it was more a physical relationship than anything. I know she had strong feelings for me, but I can't say I ever felt the same way about her."

Ouch, that's gotta hurt, even for someone like Edelgard. 

"Then why go out with her in the first place?" Linhardt wonders.

I feel a little bad about interrogating Dimitri like this, especially because he obviously doesn't feel comfortable with talking about this. I am curious though, so I won't be the one to stop this conversation. 

He's a big boy, he can decide for himself when enough is enough.

"I was fifteen when that first came up. Her and my parents were hanging out in her living quarters, so I was there too. I'm not sure who brought it up anymore, but someone implied that she and I would be a great couple and everyone else agreed with that. After that night, I kept hearing it from my parents, from her parents, from some of the teachers even. I guess you could say I was pressured into it." 

Linhardt furrows his eyebrows. "That's not really an excuse. If you don't want to, just say no." 

Linhardt says it like it's that easy, but peer pressure shouldn't be taken so lightly. I feel bad for Dimitri, to be pressured into something like that by his own parents. They should know better than anyone what would make their own son happy.

I turn to Linhardt. "Don't be so hard on him. I'm sure you've had trouble saying no to things you didn't want in the past." 

He thinks it over for a second. "Actually, not really. I don't see how-" 

"Then you can't judge Dimitri for that." I interrupt him. 

Why am I being so defensive over Dimitri all of a sudden? I feel like I'm some mother bird protecting her baby chick.

Linhardt just shrugs. "I guess not." 

"It's okay, Claude. He's right, I could have just said no. But at the same time, Edelgard was one of the most beautiful and popular girls in the monastery. I figured that by being her boyfriend, I could make more friends and be more popular as well." 

Linhardt nods, but I'm not convinced. Dimitri was already a popular guy, even before he started dating Edelgard. He's not telling us everything.

He glances at me and looks away again right after. That confirms my suspicion. 

Linhardt speaks up again. "But so you're saying that you actually don't know what Edelgard was plotting." 

Dimitri shakes his head. "I know she always talked to Hubert a lot. Whenever I came closer, they'd stop talking or Edelgard would dismiss him immediately." 

"The two of them were sneaking around a lot during our preparation time in the monastery too." Linhardt recalls. "Edelgard would tell us to study or practice something and then she and Hubert would just leave to do something between the two of them." 

If I remember correctly, Hubert was the one who attempted to kill Linhardt. Maybe Edelgard ordered him to after all? It wouldn't surprise me now. 

"Then is he helping her with taking over?" I wonder what they want to accomplish by doing that. 

Linhardt ponders it over. "I believe so. I only caught a bit of information about that because they thought everyone was asleep. My sleep schedule is pretty messed up, so I tend to wake up at the strangest of times. However, once they noticed, they changed subjects immediately." 

All of a sudden, Dimitri just hurls his lance into the distance. Does he even look at who or what he's attacking? 

"Oh my fuck-" 

Huh? "Who's there?!" I call out. Is it someone from the Blue Lions? 

"Ingrid!" Dimitri starts to sprint right in her direction.

Ingrid? That blonde food-loving girl? She's actually here? Thank any god that's up there and brought us to her.

I'm so damn relieved right now. I'm sure Dimitri is too.

"No, stop! Don't come any closer!" She shouts back, but Dimitri either doesn't hear it or he just doesn't care. He keeps speeding towards her. 

I look at Linhardt expectantly.

Linhardt sighs loudly. "Do we have to?" 

I pat him on the shoulder before I ready my bow. "Absolutely." 

We both follow after Dimitri, into Ingrid's direction. I make sure to keep Linhardt behind my back, so he doesn't get in range of the attacker.

It takes me a few seconds to analyze what's going on once we've reached them. Ingrid is standing across of an infected, her lance in position to attack or defend. 

Dimitri should have never thrown his lance, since the infected picked it up and is currently threatening to attack Dimitri himself with it. 

I need to do something. 

I fire an arrow at the infected. It doesn't hit in its neck, where I was aiming. Instead, the arrow gets stuck in its upper arm. 

Dimitri is really standing in the way, but if he moves, the infected will no doubt attack him right away. He's really making it difficult for me to aim though.

Nevertheless, I try again, this time hitting its wrist. The arrow flies right through the bone, causing the infected to lose its grip on the lance with its right hand. 

Dimitri doesn't miss a beat as he grips the other side of the lance and pulls at it, pulling the infected along with it. He twirls his body around the infected, successfully taking the lance from its one hand. He doesn't even give the infected a chance to react as he stabs the lance through the back of its skull with immense force. 

The infected falls to the ground, just like that.

Holy crap, that was amazing. He's probably the best fighter I've ever seen. And I've seen many people fight. What unbelievable strength this guy has.

"Unbelievable," Linhardt murmurs. 

You can say that again. 

I grab Linhardt's arm to hurry over to Dimitri and Ingrid. 

"Dude, that was amazing!" Is the first thing I say when I get to Dimitri. "How did you even do that?" 

Even Linhardt is complimenting him. "Yeah, that was remarkable. It's like you weren't even scared at all." 

Dimitri's eyes go wide. "That was… I mean I didn't really-" He looks incredibly flustered. He scratches his cheek before he looks into my eyes. "Did you really think that was amazing?" 

"Duh! Dude, really? I've never seen anything like that before in my life!" 

He almost glows from the way I'm complimenting him. "Thank you." He smiles shyly. 

Cute. No, not cute. What the fuck, Claude.

"Yes, very great." Ingrid comes to stand inbetween us. "Please tell me one of you has medical knowledge? I'm having multiple emergencies."

Dimitri looks her over with a worried face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" 

She shakes her head. "No, not me. Well, not that badly anyways. I really need help though." 

"You're in luck then, I have some-" Linhardt interrupts himself with a yawn. "-some medical knowledge." 

Ingrid's eyes light up. "Thank god. Please come with me." 

She heads into the trees and the rest of us follow. 

.

"Ingrid, baby, please tell me you discovered a hidden well filled with water? I'm giving you four seconds to reply before I'm assuming you're not Ingrid." 

What in the world..? 

"For the last time, Sylvain, stop calling me that!" Ingrid yells at him. 

"Okay, you're definitely Ingrid." 

"And even if I wasn't, it's not like there's much you could do, other than sit there and be murdered to death." She walks over to where Sylvain is sitting with his back against a tree. 

"Sylvain! I'm so glad to see you!" Dimitri rushes over to him to give him a hug.

Sylvain hugs him back tightly. "Dimitri..? You're still alive? Thank goodness." 

Ingrid turns to Linhardt. "His leg, it's badly hurt. Can you help him?" 

Linhardt nods before he walks over to Sylvain. "Let me just see that for a second…"

Dimitri gets out of the way when he hears Linhardt approach. 

Linhardt removes the piece of fabric the leg was covered with to look at the wound. He gags audibly before he gets up again to turn away from Sylvain, trying to remove the image from his head. 

Now that Linhardt isn't covering the view anymore, I can see why he reacted the way he did. Sylvain's left leg is covered in blood. 

I know Linhardt doesn't like blood, but I think the wounds themselves are what caused his reaction. His whole leg is covered in deep cuts in a spiral shape, it seems. As if something wrapped itself around it and cut into the flesh.

A terrible, awful smell comes from the leg, indicating that the wounds are inflamed. I'm not standing anywhere close to the guy, but I can smell it from here. 

Good luck, Linhardt. You got this! 

"I'll keep watch for any other infected." I am not watching Linhardt remove Sylvain's pant leg. He's on his own this time, sorry friend.

"I'll help you. I don't want to get in the way." That's what Dimitri says to me, but his disgusted scrunched up face indicates something else. 

He joins me at the edge of Ingrid and Sylvain's small camp. 

"I'm so happy we found them." I tell him. "You really had me scared when you threw your lance all of a sudden." 

He chuckles. "Sorry. I tend to be impulsive when it comes to seeing and eliminating threats." 

"Yeah, you almost cut my head off." I laugh at the memory. "That was terrifying."

"I'm really sorry about that, I just really didn't expect to run into you." He stays quiet for a few seconds. "Would it be okay if we… if I led Sylvain and Ingrid to our other camp? I-I mean your camp. I mean my tent and your people." 

Why is he even asking for permission? 

"You don't need to ask, silly. It's our camp and I want nothing more than for every person we find to stay with me. With us," I correct myself.

He is a leader after all, I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to take over his position. 

"That sounds great. I want us to stay together too." He smiles, a faint blush coating his cheeks.

That's not entirely what I said, but that works even better. No one is getting separated from me anymore. I'll hoard people as if my life depends on it.

"So, what were you hiding back there? When we asked why you went out with Edelgard?" He seems to tell me more when it's just the two of us, so I'm taking the chance.

He considers it for a moment. "I… I don't think I can tell you that. I'm sorry." 

What's up with that? I faintly remember him trying to hide his relationship with Edelgard. Could that be the reason why he won't tell me? 

But he just confirmed that he is hiding something. And I want to know what, because I'm a complete sucker for information.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise." Maybe that can convince him. 

He hesitates. "Then, will you also promise that this won't change your vision of me? If-if I tell you, that is." 

"Sure. I promise." If that's what it takes.

He takes a deep breath to prepare himself. "Okay, here goes. I kinda… Uhm, I'm not… This is hard." He admits nervously.

"That's okay. Take your time." So close.

Does this mean Dimitri and I are friends now too? He trusts me enough to tell me this, so it's okay for me to think that, right? 

"I'm actually… I'm, you know… Gay." He whispers the last word. "I tried to hide it from my parents, from everyone, by going out with Edelgard. She figured it out though." 

Gay? As in he likes men? 

"So you like men?" Just for confirmation. I don't know how it'd be possible for me to misunderstand, but you never know.

"Yes… Yes, I like men. Or rather, just one." He fidgets with Raphael's shirt he's wearing. 

So he likes a guy. Could it be… me? I don't want to make assumptions, but he did try to kiss me, right? Or maybe he just wanted to try it out with a guy, so he'll know what it would be like with the one he likes? 

"Who?" I accidentally blurt out. 

He looks unsure. "Well, I… I don't know if it'd be a good idea to tell you, of all people. Or perhaps it would be…" He licks his lips. "The person I like-" 

"A-actually, don't tell me." I interrupt him. "It's fine, I don't need to know." 

He blinks at me, confused, but doesn't press the matter just yet. 

Good. I do want to know who he likes, but if it is actually me, I don't know how I'll react. What if I accidentally hurt his feelings? I don't want that.

"Can't I tell you because I want to, rather than because you want to know?" He asks suddenly. 

I am not prepared for that question. "Uhm." 

Very intelligent. I clear my throat and try again.

"Well, I guess you could. I mean if you want to." Why would I say that? 

He grabs my hand and pulls me a little further away from the others. I'm guessing it's to make sure really no one else will hear him.

"I kinda have a lot to tell you, I hope you don't mind." He laughs nervously, but doesn't let go of my hand. 

Instead, he holds it even tighter, intertwining our fingers. His hands are bigger than mine, and much warmer too. 

I like his warmth.

"So." He says.

"So," I repeat. 

He breathes a laugh. "So, Claude. Uhm, I'm not really sure of how to start. Do you... think it's weird that I like a guy instead of a girl?" 

"Not really. I mean, it's weird, but not a bad weird. How do you say that again..? Different. Yeah, it's different. I don't have a problem with it though. As long as it makes you happy." 

I mean that. I do want him to be happy.

"Then how would you feel if you knew that… that a guy has feelings for you?" 

Ah, he's testing the waters. Pretty clever, now he's not directly admitting it's me. Even if this makes it more and more obvious that it is actually me he has feelings for. 

Dimitri has feelings for me… 

No, wait. Don't assume. I don't know if it's me until he says it is. 

I would like it to be me though. As difficult as it is to admit, even to myself, I do want him to have feelings for me. Is that selfish? To want someone to love me, and only me? And to be able to love that someone in return. I want that. I want to love, and be loved. 

But do I want that with Dimitri? I can't think of anyone I would rather have that with than him. Dimitri has always been kind to me, has always put my needs before his own. Sure, there was that time when he ignored me in favor of showering Edelgard with attention. But he doesn't even like her. He likes guys.

Do I like guys? I don't even know if I like guys. I do like Dimitri though. He's sweet and warm and he smells nice. And he looks nice, there's no denying that. His firm muscles, slender body, his handsome face with those pretty blue eyes… He's a bit taller than me though. I don't know how I feel about that. 

I realize I'm taking way too long to answer. But I don't even know how to answer that question to be honest. Dimitri is getting more nervous every second. I'm surprised he hasn't cut off the conversation yet.

I squeeze his hand to reassure him. "I don't think it would bother me. Maybe I would actually like that, but that depends on who it is." 

Maybe I could be the bold one this time. He already got us where we are now, I think it's time I show that I'm a man too. 

My heart starts beating incredibly fast as I think about what I could say that would get my feelings across as well. This is a lot harder than those romance novels make it seem. It almost makes me want to let him just take care of everything. Almost. 

I take a deep breath and I hope Dimitri doesn't hear the slight tremble in my voice. "I-I would like it if it were you, for example." 

His eyes grow wider than I've ever seen them before. I guess now is the time I find out whether he really meant me or someone else. 

I don't know what I'd do if it turns out he has feelings for anybody else. I'd be incredibly disappointed and embarrassed, that's one. And two, will I ever have a chance with someone like Dimitri again? Someone as strong and dependable as him? Definitely not. He's the best I could ever have and I'd seriously hate it if he just slipped right through my fingers. 

That settles it. Even if it's not me, I'll make sure he'll love me instead of the other dude he likes right now. 

"Do you really mean that?" He's trying not to smile, but he's failing pretty bad. 

"I really mean that." I confirm it for him.

It's hard not to smile at the way his whole being seems to light up with joy at hearing me say that. 

"I… I don't know what to say. I'm so happy, Claude. I'm just…" He just stops talking. 

He hasn't even told me his feelings yet, but is it okay for me to believe that it's me now? I'm still scared. 

He lets go of my hand to run both his through his hair. Why would he let go? I'm fearing the worst. He doesn't love me. I completely misunderstood, and now he's going to tell me what a fool I am.

Perhaps he just needed a confirmation that a guy wouldn't actually mind if he'd confess to him. That he'd be okay with it, because it's Dimitri.

Why am I stupid?

My mind is running a marathon of negative thoughts and I don't even know how to stop it. I try to smile at him, but I'm sure it looks terrible.

"I'm happy for you." I tell him, but I'm struggling to even make it sound convincing.

"Oh Claude, thank you. Thank you for returning my feelings. I was terrified you'd hate me if I told you, but you don't. You actually…" He closes his eyes and smiles broadly. "I'm sorry, I just can't believe it." 

Wait, what? I'm just feeling a whirlwind of different feelings here. He likes me after all? 

"You're saying that… The one you like is-"

"Yes! Oh Claude, I love you. I've loved you and I'm sure I will forever." His arms slip around my middle and he pulls me into probably the tightest hug I've ever had. 

He loves me… Dimitri Blaiddyd loves me, a rat, an outsider. Me, Claude von Riegan. 

I'm not sure where to put my arms now that he's hugging me, so I settle for putting them over his shoulders. His broad, firm shoulders. I feel a little awkward, but happy all the same. 

I know I made the right choice. There's no way this would make me happy if I didn't like it. I may have zero experience with this kind of stuff, but I'm sure Dimitri won't have any problem showing me how this works. 

I'm going to need some time for that, after all.

"I'm so happy, Claude." He whispers in my ear. 

"Stop whispering in my ear, you're giving me goosebumps." He really is. 

He chuckles. "You give me goosebumps whenever you smile at me. Time for payback." 

It's not like I did that on purpose, but it still makes me laugh. 

I'm feeling all giddy and excited. I wonder what things will change between us now. Hopefully not too much though. Just that we'll get closer, I'd like that. To just be able to confine in each other, find comfort and happiness there. 

He's so warm. I could stay here in his arms for a long time. A satisfied sigh leaves my nose. "I'm happy too." 

He squeezes my body one last time before he leans away. His arms stay wrapped around my middle though, making sure we stay connected. 

"Can I kiss you?" He asks. When he sees my hesitation, he quickly adds something. "On your cheek, I mean." 

I feel silly for getting scared at the thought of him kissing me. Maybe later. A kiss on my cheek sounds better. 

"Yes, that's fine." I laugh, but it's more from the nerves than anything. 

He smiles back at me before he leans his face closer to mine. He pulls my body closer to his again before his lips make contact with my cheek. 

They're so soft. 

He keeps his face pressed against mine for a few seconds, like he just can't pull away from me. I don't mind at all, it's nice. 

He actually loves me. 

Eventually, he pulls away from me again. His lips make a soft smacking sound against my cheek before he does. 

I could definitely get used to this. 

We spend a few minutes just looking at each other and smiling and laughing. Being in his arms is so comfortable, I don't ever want to break apart.

He leans in once more to kiss my cheek again. "You're beautiful, Claude. And I don't only mean how you look. You're just so perfect in every way." 

I don't know what to say to that. I dislike receiving compliments because I never know what to say to them. 

Actions speak louder than words, right? I shift my arms so that I can pull him closer to me. I'm practically pushing his head into the crook of my neck, just so I can hold him tighter. 

A kiss against the skin on my neck surprises me and I push him away immediately. 

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself." He certainly doesn't look like he's sorry. "Forgive me?" 

"I don't know if I can. The betrayal…" I press my hands against my heart to indicate it's hurt. 

"Please, I'll do anything." He's the worst actor ever. He doesn't even try to hide his amused smile.

"In that case, let's go check on Sylvain and Linhardt." Linhardt should be done by now. 

I feel a bit guilty that he's right there, trying so hard to heal Sylvain's leg while we were just hugging and declaring our love for each other. 

Seems I'm not the only one. Dimitri's eyes widen in realization before he nods. 

"Yeah, let's do that." He takes my hand before he leads us both to where we left the others. 

My heart skips a beat at the gesture. I could really get used to this. 

.

"I'm telling you, it was nothing like any of those other creeps we've seen." Sylvain says loudly.

"From what I've seen, there are only two kinds. Live ones and dead ones. One that's 'super strong and inhuman' just isn't logical." Linhardt argues. 

Sylvain turns to Ingrid. "Ingrid, tell him! Tell him what we saw!" 

"Ugh, Sylvain. I don't even know what we saw. What Linhardt says makes much more sense." Ingrid just came out of the tent that's standing here. "Linhardt, I know you just saved Sylvain's leg and you're probably tired, but could you please take a look at Felix as well?" 

Dimitri tenses. "Felix is here too?" 

Ingrid looks at him, then our entwined hands. She smiles before she answers. "Yes, he's inside of the tent. He was in a much worse shape than Sylvain when we escaped." 

I let go of Dimitri's hand to gesture that he should go see his friend. He looks unsure at first, but then heads towards the tent. 

"I'll be right back." He says.

I nod.

"That's because that idiot decided to save me, rather than himself." Sylvain fills in. "I would have been fine." 

"You," Ingrid turns back around to face Sylvain. "You would have lost your leg if he hadn't done that. Show some gratitude!" 

These guys are still the same as they were back at the giant sleepover. I'm glad they haven't changed much, despite everything that happened to them.

"How's your leg?" I ask Sylvain. 

He looks at it before he answers. "It's much better. The pain is way less and it's not throbbing as terribly anymore. Linhardt did a great job." 

Said boy wipes a bit of sweat off his brow. "I'm glad I managed to save your smelly leg. I still don't understand how you managed to get such a wound though." 

Linhardt takes the bottle of water he'd given to Sylvain to take a sip himself. 

Sylvain sighs. "I told you, a super strong creep attacked us. He had a sword and it was like, the weirdest thing I've ever seen. It was like a whip or something." 

"A sword like a whip? As I said before, that's just not possible." Linhardt says before he gets up to walk over to the tent. 

"I swear it! Ingrid, why won't you help me? You were right there!" Sylvain lifts his arms in a desperate gesture. 

"I-I just don't know what I saw. Everything happened way too fast." 

What are they talking about? 

"Sorry to interrupt, but would you mind starting over with explaining?" I want to know what happened to them. 

I don't think Dimitri was there when this happened. 

"Sit." Sylvain pats the ground next to him. 

I do as he says.

"So listen. We were just attacked by a giant flock of those creeps. Like seriously, at least ten of those things were after us. We couldn't even dream of taking them all on, so we decided to run. That's when we got split up from Dimitri and Ashe, since they got left behind.   
So we were running and we actually lost the creeps, but we didn't stop running until we somehow made it out of the forest. And this is where it happened." 

I'm curious what happened, but the way this guy talks is actually pretty funny. It takes a real effort not to laugh right now.

"Claude, listen to me. I am absolutely telling the truth. We made it out of the forest and we were just catching our breaths and all of a sudden, Mercedes got attacked. But like, attacked attacked. She got literally split in half by that sword I mentioned." 

Ingrid sighs loudly. "She did not get split in half, Sylvain! Stop making everything so dramatic." 

"Don't listen to Ingrid, I know what I saw. So Mercedes is killed within two seconds and no one actually realizes what happened until this sword attacks us again. It just flew around and I barely managed to dodge it, but then it just wraps itself around my leg. And it pulls on me, like hard. It just cut into my skin and I doubt I've ever felt that much pain in my life before. So I'm stuck with this thing around my leg and Felix just starts pulling on my upper body and fuck that hurt. That obviously didn't work, so he just ran towards the creep to attack it. My leg got freed because of that, but Felix got fucked up bad. And since we lost Mercedes, no one could heal either of us. Then Dedue decided to distract the creep so we could all escape, but during the chaos, we lost sight of both Annette and Dedue. We didn't actually manage to get far until Felix collapsed and couldn't run anymore, so Ingrid planted me against this tree to take care of Felix and I haven't moved since." 

I wonder if he breathed through that entire story. But fuck, that's messed up. An infected that has a sword like that? How are we supposed to win from that? 

And to make matters worse, it's right outside the forest. Right where we need to be if we want to release the spell. 

And shit. Mercedes… Whether or not she got cut in half isn't even an issue. She lost her life so tragically, she never deserved that. 

I'll make sure to build some sort of memorial for both Ashe and Mercedes and anyone who loses their lives out here. They deserve at least that much. 

Following through with our plan is going to be extremely tough. But first, we're searching for Annette and Dedue. I don't want to lose any more people than we have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!!


	25. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I had the biggest struggle writing this chapter and I don't even know why
> 
> Y'all have my sincere apologies if you didn't like this chapter as much, but I tried
> 
> And also because I was slow writing this, my apologies
> 
> Anyhow, thank you for still being here!! I hope you're still enjoying the story

Healing Felix takes a long time. I wonder what state he was left in. If I can believe Sylvain, Felix almost died from blood loss. 

They'd apparently been resting here for about two or three days, so most of the blood he lost, should be replenished by now. 

"What were you doing with Dimitri over there?" Sylvain wiggles his eyebrows as he asks.

Sylvain's question throws me off my game. My train of thoughts derailed and it takes me a second before I can think about what he asked.

I'm actually not sure if I can tell him the truth. Dimitri's been trying his best to hide his real feelings from everyone, so I don't know how he'd feel if I went and casually told Sylvain.

"You can ask Dimitri." There, that should do it. 

"Aw, please? I told you about everything that happened to me and Felix." He offers.

Well, yes. Fuck. 

"You're right about that," I admit. "But that doesn't mean I have to answer your question too." 

I'm aware I'm really not making friends with Sylvain by pulling this, but I can't afford to spill something so personal about Dimitri. Even if Sylvain is a good friend of his.

He just sighs though. "For the record, I already know. About Dimitri, I mean. He's terrible at hiding things, especially when it's about himself." 

I knew that about Dimitri already, but then why would he even ask if he already knows? 

"But I'm just wondering if you, you know, returned his feelings. If you guys are a thing now." He finishes.

Ah, that's what he was after. He wanted to know about me, not Dimitri.

"I… I think so?" I actually have no idea. 

We told each other our feelings, but I don't know what that makes us now. Are we a thing?

He laughs at that. "Dude, you gotta clarify that sort of stuff with Dimitri. That guy is dense as shit." 

I'm sure Sylvain knows a lot of things about Dimitri. Would it be bad if I asked him some questions? 

"How did you find out? About Dimitri, I mean." 

He seems a bit too excited to answer that. "How did I find out? Let's see… The first sign was definitely when he asked me how I felt about having to bathe and wash together with other guys of our grade. He was blushing all the way to his ears." 

That isn't such a weird question. I'm really glad that I never went to wash together with the other guys. I'm a bit too private to show myself off like that and I can't stand the idea of knowing what everyone looks like underneath their clothes.

He continues. "The second sign was when he couldn't tell me one thing about Edelgard that he found really attractive. In the end, he settled for her teeth. And I think we can both agree that no one compliments a girl on her teeth." 

It takes me a few seconds to understand what he's getting at. But yeah, if you share Sylvain's thoughts, some teeth are probably the last thing you'd look at.

"And then the third sign was when I walked by his room late at night and he 'accidentally' called out a name different than Edelgard's." He laughs, but still focuses on me to gauge my reaction.

Again, it takes me a bit of time to understand what he's getting at. 

"I kinda expected more of you, Claude. Don't tell me you're dense like Dimitri." 

Ah. That's what he meant. 

"I'm not dense," I defend. "Just inexperienced." 

I'm not sure if Sylvain is the right guy to admit that to, but I can't really take back my words anymore.

He gapes at me for a few seconds. "You're kidding right? You've never..?" 

I shrug. I'm not ashamed of being a virgin. I had other priorities in the monastery than fuck around.

"Wow, I didn't think guys like you existed. Aren't you curious?" He asks.

"I am, but not enough to try it out with any random willing person. I think sex is something intimate." 

He seems to consider my words, but then his grin returns to his face.

"So, would you consider doing it with Dimitri? I gotta warn you though, you wanna be on top of that guy." He adds the last part with a wink.

I almost choke on my own spit. I cough a few times before I trust my own voice enough to answer.

"I would consider that. But not yet." I can't even kiss Dimitri, let alone 'get on top of that guy'.

"Okay, okay. A bit too soon I guess. I honestly doubt Dimitri would wanna already anyway. He's one of those romantic people that want to wait for the right moment, you know?" 

I smile at that. Dimitri does seem like that kinda guy.

"But so you've known for a while then. Why'd you never talk to Dimitri about it? He's been terribly scared and insecure because of it." I feel bad for Dimitri. He shouldn't have to intensively hide something that's a part of him.

"Thing is, Dimitri doesn't do well when he gets called out on something. He just shuts down and runs away, like literally. I'm sure if I ever confronted him about this, he'd find any and every excuse not to talk to me ever again." 

Sounds legit. "That makes sense." 

I vaguely remember the time I asked what he was hiding back then, right after our meeting with Rhea. Dimitri ran off too, twice even.

Sylvain hums in reply. I stay quiet as well.

I glance over at his leg. The pant leg was cut off from his thigh, leaving the rest of his leg uncovered. Linhardt did a nice job on healing the wounds well enough so they can continue to recover on their own.

I wonder how we're going to tackle this next obstacle. An infected with a terrifying sword, and knowledge on how to use it at that. We'd best stay out of its sight completely, but that's going to be nearly impossible if it's guarding something we need to get to.

I sigh. I'll think about it when we're there. First, we're looking for Dedue and Annette. I hope they're okay.

"That's a deep sigh. Thinking about your lover?" Sylvain wiggles his eyebrows again. 

"No, I'm thinking about how we're gonna get past the infected that did that." I point at his leg. 

He follows the direction I'm pointing at, as if it wasn't obvious what I meant already, and runs a hand over the healing wounds. 

"I wish we'd never made it out of the forest." He whispers. "Mercedes would have been with us, still." 

He says that, but staying in the forest wasn't an option either. 

"You didn't really have a choice. All we can do now is fix this mess, for both Mercedes and Ashe." I hope we can. So that no one else will lose their lives.

"...Ashe? Ashe didn't make it?" 

Ah, fuck. He didn't know. 

I nod. "I'm so sorry." I don't know what else to say.

I just realized Ingrid and Felix don't know what happened to Ashe, while Dimitri doesn't know what happened to Mercedes either.

Can I please not be the bringer of bad news? 

I allow Sylvain a moment to grieve. He looks like he needs it. Now that his leg is doing better and there's more people around to guarantee his safety, realization hits him like a brick.

"I'm sorry too," he whispers. Tears run over his cheeks quietly.

I look away.

.

The healing is taking too long. I get that Linhardt needs time and all, but if we want to get back to the others before dusk, we have to leave soon. 

Right now I'm just hoping no one went out to look for us. 

Sylvain fell asleep against the tree. I'm sure he's tired, both physically and mentally. Emotionally probably as well. 

All the better that we solve this as soon as we can, which is why Linhardt needs to hurry up already. 

I'm feeling bolder now that the sky is starting to turn an orange-y color. The idea of disrupting Linhardt's concentration isn't as scary as it has been, so I head over to the tent.

"Linhardt, you doing okay in there?" 

I don't get an actual answer, but I hope that he understands why I asked. 

Instead of getting an answer, Dimitri makes his way out of the tent. He looks tired. 

"You okay?" I ask, because I don't know how else to ask how he feels after looking at his almost dead friend for hours.

"I'm… I'm okay. Thank you." He takes a deep breath before he tries a smile. 

Would now be a good time to hug him? He looks like he could use one.

I close the distance between us by taking a step towards him and wrapping my arms around his middle. My head rests against his shoulder, but I can hear his heartbeat clearly. It beats rather fast and I wonder if it's because of me. 

It would be nice if it is. 

He seems to hesitate for a second before he wraps his arms around my shoulders as well. 

"Thank you." He whispers before he presses his face in my hair. 

He's so warm. 

"Felix is going to make it." His voice is muffled, but I can understand him clearly. "At least, that's what Linhardt said. Linhardt isn't looking too good though, I'm not sure if he can make it back to the others before tonight." 

Ugh. That isn't good. Maybe I should go back to get the others and bring them here? I don't want to be separated from them, who knows what's happened during the time we weren't there.

I lift my head from his shoulder to look in his eyes. 

"I need to go back to the others. I'll bring them over, so you can just stay here and take care of your friends." 

I'm agile and observant enough that I should make it on my own. I'll make sure to stay out of sight from any infected. 

"No, no that's not… You shouldn't go out there alone. I'll come with you." 

I want him to, but there won't be anyone to help Ingrid with protecting Sylvain and Felix. And Linhardt is in bad shape as well.

I shake my head. "No, you can't do that. Ingrid can't protect the guys on her own. She needs you." 

He looks unsure. "Take Ingrid with you then. She's a good fighter, I promise. You shouldn't go alone," he repeats.

His hand gently moves away a strand of hair that's threatening to fall into my eye. It makes me smile, despite my much less nice thoughts.

I don't know if I trust Ingrid enough to let her cover for me. I'm sure she's a good fighter, but I haven't seen her in action yet, so I don't know what she's capable of. Not the way I know my Deer.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'll be fine on my own, I promise." 

"Claude, please take her with you. I can't lose you, not now that I…" He doesn't finish his sentence, but I think I know what he means.

"I'll be okay. I'll be so quick you won't even notice I'm gone." 

He shakes his head. "I'll miss you as soon as I can't see you anymore. Look, I'll just come with you. Ingrid's been doing a great job even before we came along, so I'm sure-" 

I interrupt him. "Dimitri, listen to yourself. You can't leave her here. I'll be okay, just wait for me." 

He looks ashamed of himself. "Sorry, you're right. I just can't help myself when it comes to you. Please, promise me you'll be careful." 

I nod. "I promise." 

He pulls me tighter into his arms once more before he lets go. He still takes hold of my hand though. It looks like he wants to say something more, but he's holding back.

"What is it?" I ask. He shouldn't have to be afraid to tell me what's on his mind. Not anymore.

"Can I… Can I kiss your cheek?" He blushes. 

I can't help but smile. "You don't need to ask. The answer will be yes every time." 

He smiles back before he leans in. His warm, reddened cheek brushes mine before his lips make contact with my skin. 

Instead of pulling away completely, he wraps his arms around my middle to pull me closer again. He presses another kiss against my forehead before he leans his own against mine.

"Please be safe." He whispers. 

I can't guarantee that I will, so I don't say anything before I pull away.

"I need to go now if I want to be back before the sun has set completely. Just wait, I'll be back soon." 

He nods, but his facial expression tells me that he doesn't like this at all. 

I'm sorry Dimitri, but I have to. I need to make sure we all stay together. That's the one thing I will not compromise on.

"Wow, look at you guys. So sweet and cuddly and cute. I'm almost jealous." Sylvain's voice sounds from behind me.

"S-Sylvain! How much of that did you see?" Dimitri's blush is getting worse and worse.

I think this is my que to leave. Dimitri and Sylvain can have this conversation without me, so I grab my bow and quiver and head out. 

Please, let me be okay.

.

I gotta say, this forest is much scarier when you're alone. Every sound, every movement means danger now. I have no one to count on but myself, and even then, I'm not confident with what I'm doing. 

Am I even going in the right direction? 

Maybe I should have brought Dimitri with me after all. He could tell me whether or not I'm going the right way. Or at least Ingrid, to look after my back as I try to figure it out.

I've thought it before and I'll think it again; why am I stupid? 

A snap of a twig breaking catches my attention. I turn around immediately to face the danger, but all I see is a bird flying off. 

Damn, Claude. Calm the fuck down already. 

I take a few deep breaths. My earlier quickened heartbeat evens out and my head feels much clearer. 

The sky is turning a reddish color now, indicating that I'm running out of time at a fast pace. 

As long as I can find my way towards my Deer before dark. I can always make a torch or two there, to make sure I have light when I lead them back to Dimitri. I just need to get to my bag to do that.

A movement in the corner of my eye. I duck away in a bush near me as I try to make shape of what I just saw. It was too large to be anything smaller than a deer, so I'm not taking any chance. 

I put an arrow on my bow to aim at the place I just saw something in. Nothing moves there anymore, but I still wait until I'm absolutely certain. 

Quietly, I get out of the bush to take a closer look. And then I see it. An infected, an elderly woman, is hitting her head over and over against the same tree. 

It looks dead, but why is it behaving so weird? Is it because of the fading light? 

I carefully slip by the infected since I have no time to waste on studying its behavior. If it stays there, I'll use it as a mark to know that I'm heading in the right direction when I'm with my Deer.

It shouldn't take me that long to find them anymore. I'm sure I'm getting close.

I look back once more to see if the infected didn't see me, but it's still repeating the same motion, so I'm guessing it's safe to assume it didn't spot me.

It's getting pretty dark now, so it's getting harder for me to see. I'm fucked. I make sure to get away from the infected a bit further.

"Raph?! Hilda?!" I know that calling out to someone could mean certain death, but I need some sort of indication of where to go. 

"Claude? Is that you?" 

Hilda's voice calls out back to me, but it's still pretty far away. At least I know where it came from, so that's where I'm going.

"Hang on, I'm coming!" I start walking a bit faster. 

I walk and walk until I finally spot the dim light of a fire in the distance. Please, let everyone still be there. Please.

I sprint the last few meters. "Guys, it's me!" I call out to make sure they won't see me as a threat before I come out of the trees. 

"Oh my god! Where have you been?" Hilda hurries over to me to give me a hug and see if I'm hurt anywhere. 

"Are you okay?" Ignatz asks. He sounds worried. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." I gently push Hilda away from me. I don't have time for happy reunions, I need them to pack and move as quickly as possible.

Lysithea stands up. "Wait, where are..?" 

"Don't worry. Listen, you all need to pack right now. We gotta move. We found a few members of the Blue Lions but they're hurt, so they couldn't come to us. Let's go."

I walk over to my own bag to grab the things I need for a torch. I'm wondering if it wouldn't be safer for us if we didn't bring any light, but we need to be able to see where we're going.

I take a moment to check whether everyone's actually present. A look around the camp tells me that everyone is here, and that the meat of the deer they hunted apparently tasted nice. 

I try not to gag at the deer's cut into pieces body, but it proves very difficult. I'm glad I wasn't around when they cut it up. 

My bag is filled with all sorts of stuff that I somehow forgot about. I'll make sure to set up the sound trap perimeter around Ingrid's camp. That way, no one will have to keep watch tonight. 

"Does anyone have a nice stick?" I ask. 

I need a solid tree branch I can use as a torch, but I don't see one lying around me.

Hilda giggles. "What did you just ask?" 

"I need a stick for a torch. Or two, make that two sticks." 

Marianne holds up a small log. "I-is this one okay..?" 

I grab it from her hold to wrap one of my clothing rags around the top. "Yeah this is great. Thanks." I almost forgot to reply.

"Here's another one." Ignatz offers me one as well.

"Thanks. Are you finished with packing?" I ask him. 

He nods. 

"Great, prepare this one if you like." I hand him one of the rags and the oil I'd just used on my own torch.

I don't like having to hurry like this, but I can't leave Dimitri on his own for too long. It doesn't sit right with me. 

Lysithea comes to sit next to me. "Did… Did anyone die..?" 

Hilda stops packing in favor of listening in on us. 

Should I tell them about Mercedes? Or should I just tell them that Ingrid and them are okay? 

I don't want to be the bringer of bad news, but I suppose I don't have a real choice in the matter.

"From what I know, it's only Ashe and, well, Mercedes. The Blue Lions got separated, so Dimitri didn't know of that yet." I hope Sylvain told him. 

Lysithea nods, but her lower lip trembles. Poor thing. Hilda doesn't say anything either. 

Please let those two be the only ones. I can't stand the thought of losing any more people.

My torch is ready to be set aflame, so that's what I do. 

"Ignatz, here." I hand him the flintstones so he can light up his torch as well. 

Lorenz comes to stand in front of me. "Claude? Please tell me why exactly we're moving. I'm sure there's a better option than roaming around in this complete darkness." 

I sigh. I don't have time for this. "Like I said, we found Ingrid, Sylvain and Felix from the Blue Lions. I left Dimitri and Linhardt with them, so they could help them out a little while I went to get you guys. I don't want to be separated from anyone, so we're joining them where they are. Simple as that." 

"Please elaborate on why we can't stay here tonight and move there tomorrow, you know, when there's light." 

"Sure, I'll elaborate on our way there." I get up and pat him on the shoulder before I give him my torch. "You can have this if you're worried about the light." 

He rolls his eyes before he walks off to grab his bag. "Are we going then?" 

I look around and it looks like everyone's ready to go, except Ignatz, who's still struggling with lighting up the torch. 

"Oh, Ignatz, let me help." Leonie crouches down next to him to aid him with the flintstones.

"But do you even know where we have to go?" Lorenz is not letting this go, is he? 

"Yes, I know where we're going. Everyone ready?" 

I receive nods and replies, telling me that they are ready to leave. 

"Great. Raph, can you put out the big fire?" 

"Sure thing!" 

.

"I can't believe you're making us travel in this darkness. Do you want us all to die or something?" 

"No, Lorenz, I don't. I want us to stay together." I understand where he's coming from, but it's starting to get annoying.

"I don't like this either. I'm scared."

"Well, Hilda, perhaps you could stay quiet to make sure that we won't be heard by anything." Lysithea commends.

"Maybe you should be quiet instead," Hilda argues.

Lysithea shrugs. "I'm just saying that to protect you, but suit yourself." 

She's starting to sound a bit like Linhardt. I think they've been spending a bit too much time together.

"Can we all just stay quiet? I know y'all just love to argue, but this isn't the time or place for that." I'm surprised by the calmness of my own voice, despite how annoyed I am.

Ignatz pokes me in the arm. "C-Claude. I think I see something." 

I follow his line of vision. The infected I saw on my way here is still headbutting the tree.

"Let's leave that one be. I saw it on my way here, but I doubt it's capable of noticing us. We'll just keep our distance." 

We continue moving and I'm much less than confident that we won't encounter anything. It's much better now that I got my friends with me, but even so, this darkness is terrifying.

Shadows are moving from the flickering of the fires, causing me to jump whenever I see something.

Should I call out? Maybe Dimitri will hear me and shout back. Or maybe an infected will hear me and jump out of the shadows to attack us.

I guess I won't.

Leonie gestures for us to stop walking. "Shh, I heard something." 

We freeze instantly, not making any sound or move. The fire is definitely luring something towards us and I'm scared to find out what it is.

Something is approaching us, I can hear it. Small branches are breaking and leaves are rustling. 

"Dimitri?" Please let it be Dimitri.

"I don't think it's Dimitri," Leonie whispers back.

"Hello?" I call out instead. 

Lysithea sighs loudly. "Can you talk any louder?!" 

"Shhh!" 

We stay quiet again.

Maybe it's an animal? A fox or a deer maybe? God, I hope it's an animal. 

"I think it's coming." Raphael says.

"Ready your weapons," I whisper. 

"Oh, dear!" Lorenz yells before an infected jumps on him. 

Is that the old lady after all? I shouldn't have taken the risk and cut her down when I had the chance. 

He pushes his torch in the infected's face and I can actually hear the sizzling of its skin burning. It smells awful. 

"Be careful!" Hilda screams as she swings her axe at the infected that's currently clawing at Lorenz.

He's doing a great job in pushing it back, so the infected barely makes contact with him. 

"Hilda, kill it!" Lorenz screams.

She swings her axe around once more, this time hitting the infected's shoulder. "I'm trying, hold still! I can't get a good hit if you keep moving!" 

"I can't hold still, this thing is literally trying to kill me! What do you expect?!" 

"Oh my god, they're terrible." 

I have to agree with Lysithea on this one. They're so incredibly lucky that they had Raph with them back when we split up.

Said man actually lifts up the infected by its head, successfully separating it from where it was attached to Lorenz. 

Its face is half-burned, covered in blood and burn blisters. The high temperature had made its eye spring open, causing the contents to leak over its eye socket and cheek.

I am so ready to empty my stomach in about three seconds.

"Hilda, now!" Raphael shouts.

She doesn't waste any time before she swings her axe at the infected one last time, decapitating it in one blow.

"Nice!" Raphael says as he throws the head off somewhere. 

Hilda jumps up in joy and they give each other a high-five.

"Phew, that was scary." She smiles as she says it. 

"You can say that again," Lorenz comments as he wipes sweat off his forehead. 

"And you can thank me later." She giggles before she walks ahead. "Are we still going or what?" 

We follow her, but it doesn't take long before I'm walking in front again. I know where we're going after all. Or at least, that's what they think. I'm not so confident anymore.

I'm incredibly happy Hilda's more confident now though. I hope she can stay this way.

.

"Dimitri!" I try for the eighteenth time.

"Just admit it, we're lost. You got us somewhere and you have no idea where Dimitri is." 

"Shut up, Lorenz. I know where I'm going. Dimitri!" Nineteen.

If he could just respond, that'd be great.

Leonie sighs. "Claude, what have you done? This is insane." 

I haven't done anything, Dimitri is the one who needs to do something right now.

"Dimitri!" Twenty already. Damn, time flies huh.

"Can't you just stop shouting? Literally everything but Dimitri can hear you." Lysithea points out. 

Okay, let's try something else then.

"Sylvain!" 

"Claude! Just stop shouting!" She slaps my arm.

"This is hopeless. Can't we wait until morning?" Hilda tries. 

"No, Hilda. Claude wants to sleep with Dimitri, don't you see?" 

Oh, haha Lorenz. Now this again. 

Hilda giggles before she kicks it up a notch. "Oh right, he just can't wait to lie in his arms." 

"Share a tent." He adds.

She giggles. "And cuddle all night long." 

"Without wearing any clo-" 

"Okay, that's enough!" These people, I swear. 

And why am I blushing? 

Hilda puffs up her cheeks. "You're no fun, you know that?" 

"Dimitri!" I try, for the twenty-first time.

"Do you really have no better ideas?" Leonie asks. "Because this obviously isn't-" 

"Claude?" A voice sounds in the distance.

"Dimitri!" Oh man, I could kiss him right now. "Keep talking, we're coming!" 

"Claude, is that you?" 

His voice sounds far away, but I'm really just happy to hear it. 

I guide my Deer towards the source of the voice. I'm crossing my fingers, hoping we don't encounter anything that might kill us. 

"Dimitri!" He needs to keep talking or I'll lose him. 

"Claude! This way!" 

"Who would've thought. We're finally on the right track." Lorenz shakes his head. 

"Shut up, Lorenz. I had this under control from the start." I wonder if he believes me, probably not.

"Right." 

.

After a solid twenty minutes, we finally reach Dimitri's camp. Finally. 

"Claude!" Dimitri comes running to me as soon as he sees me. "I was so worried, you took too long." 

"Yes, this idiot is terrible at directions." Lorenz points at me as he says it.

Sylvain decides to be annoying as well. "Dimitri, you completely forgot to give Claude a hug and a kiss!" 

I roll my eyes and sigh, but Dimitri isn't so good at dismissing comments like that. He blushes and it's clearly visible, even with the little light we brought.

"I-I didn't want to make him uncomfortable," he defends.

It doesn't sound very convincing, I must say.

"Wait, what?" Hilda asks a bit too loud. "Claude and Dimitri are actually..? No way! Claude, you should have told us!" 

Absolutely not. "I didn't even have time to tell anyone." 

"Either way, congrats!" Raphael says after he gave my back a friendly but very hard slap.

"Ouch, thanks." This is rather embarrassing. 

Ignatz looks at both Dimitri and me. "Congratulations, you two!" 

What a cinnamon roll. 

We both receive a few more congratulations and I'm-happy-for-you's and I'm pretty sure I'm blushing as badly as Dimitri now.

Good thing my skin is a tad darker than his. 

Despite his furious blush, Dimitri still looks happy. I'm happy for him as well. I know it must have been hard for him to come out at all, so having people accept him, accept us, probably means a great deal to him.

And to prove we're actually telling the truth, I walk up to Dimitri to kiss his cheek for once. 

"Hey you." I say after. 

"U-uhm… hey yourself." 

I didn't know it was even possible, but Dimitri's blush is actually getting worse. 

I just decided that I like causing that.

"Oh my god, you weren't even kidding!" 

"Wow, that was bold." 

"Hey, you guys look great together!" 

"I didn't even know they liked each other." 

Lots of things are being said and I don't know who says what, but I'm really glad no one said anything mean or rude.

I turn to my Deer. "Well, what are y'all waiting for? Start unpacking so we can rest already." 

Most of them do as I say, but I raise an eyebrow at both Hilda and Lorenz, daring them to tease about me sleeping with Dimitri. Hilda understand what I'm trying to do, but Lorenz raises an eyebrow in return.

"Don't you dare," is all I tell him. 

He looks at Hilda, who just shrugs. Oh well. 

"I'm glad all of you are okay. I was scared you wouldn't find your way back." Dimitri tells me after my Deer have scattered all around the camp.

"Me too. I'm glad you're okay as well. I was worried something might have happened here." 

He smiles. "I made sure nothing did." He takes my hand and squeezes it. "Thank you for the kiss," he whispers after.

I'm sure any infected would turn and run when they see Dimitri. He's a damn beast. 

"I figured there was no better way to tell them than to show them. And they seem okay with us, so that's good too." 

Dimitri smiles. "Yeah, I'm really happy about that." 

He's about to lean in to give me a kiss, when;

"Just don't start acting disgusting and swapping your spit every chance you get." 

I don't recognize that voice yet. I turn around and I see Felix, conscious, sitting with Sylvain near their fire.

"I mean it, don't do that. That's what makes it gross." He warns again.

Sylvain just laughs loudly. "Aw, come on Felix, don't be like that! Don't you think it's nice to see Dimitri finally happy with someone? This is a major difference compared to Edelgard." 

"It's nice to see you too, Felix." I tell him. 

"Yeah, whatever." He replies. Whether he means me or Sylvain, I'm not sure of.

Same old, same old. For some reason, I'm glad he's still the easily annoyed jerk he was before.

My hand is being squeezed by Dimitri again. "Want to join them?" 

"Of course." I reply with a smile. 

We walk over to the fire, where Sylvain is scooting towards Felix to make more room for us. 

"You know, you don't need to get on my lap. Lay off!" 

"But Felix, I thought we were friends!" Sylvain fake-whines.

"Yes, friends. Now get away from me." 

Their interactions make me laugh. I wonder how Sylvain puts up with Felix' attitude, but I guess they've been friends long enough to tolerate each other. 

And it's not like Sylvain is always easy to get along with. He knows and sees much more than one might think when he talks.

"Dimitri, don't you think Claude looks cold? I think he looks cold, warm him up a little." Sylvain winks at him. 

I actually wouldn't mind at all if Dimitri were to sit closer to me, so I look at him expectantly. 

He looks surprised for a second before he seems to get what Sylvain meant. 

"Oh, right." He scoots closer to me and wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me a little closer to him. 

This is nice. 

Hilda joins us as well. "Aw, you lovebirds are getting all lovey-dovey, how cute!" 

I look at her in suspicion. 

"Don't worry, I'm all done with unpacking. I actually got Ignatz to do it for me." She giggles. 

Of course. Why did I even bother?

One by one, my Deer join us around the fire. 

I'm feeling warm, and I'm sure it's not just because of Dimitri. Everyone is talking and laughing with each other, like a big family. 

"Is Linhardt okay?" I ask Dimitri. 

"He's sleeping, said he was too tired to even keep his eyes open. Maybe he'll join us later." 

I'd like that. Despite that he was part of Edelgard's group, I wouldn't want to miss him anymore. He's much more a part of us now. 

And from the relieved look on Lysithea's face, I can tell that I'm not the only one who thinks that. 

"All we're missing now is alcohol." Sylvain comments. 

Ignatz perks up at that. "Aren't most of us underage though?" 

"Psh, that's just a detail. Besides, I'm not." 

Ingrid mingles herself in the conversation as well. "I don't want to see you drunk ever again. That was horrible." 

"Yeah, you'd best stay away from alcohol as if it was your mother." Felix finishes. 

"Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad!" Sylvain tries.

"You were literally flirting with a statue. An unmoving, lifeless, gray, old statue." Felix argues.

"Yes, I'm aware. But hear me out, I was drunk so she looked pretty moving and young to me." 

Solid point, hard to argue with that.

"Didn't that statue represent a knight on a horse?" Dimitri recalls.

"Oh my god, that's right!" Ingrid turns back to Sylvain. "You were totally flirting with the legs of a horse!" 

"Those were some good looking legs though. But okay, I get it. No more alcohol." Sylvain concludes.

The banter and chatter continues, waking up Linhardt from his sleep. He eventually joins us, after setting up the perimeter which I forgot about, again. Shame on me. 

I lean closer against Dimitri's chest, laying my head to rest on his shoulder. 

"Are you okay?" He asks and his voice is so soft and sweet that it causes butterflies in my stomach to flutter.

"Mhmm, just tired. Can you hold me tighter?" I feel like I might fall asleep soon, but I want to stay right here.

"Of course." He kisses my hair before he pulls me closer against his chest. He also pulls my legs over his, so that I'm almost completely sitting in his lap. 

I didn't expect that at all, but boy am I comfortable like this. 

"Thank you," I mutter, but I don't even hear his reply. 

I'm already drifting off to dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	26. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for an extremely long filler chapter!! I worked so hard on this don't judge me
> 
> Also I just can't stop writing the romance now that I've begun, like I just can't
> 
> Hope you like this chapter!!

I'm so comfortable. My whole body is warm and lying on a soft surface. I want to lay here forever. My neck doesn't even hurt from the lack of a pillow. 

Do I hear voices? Does that mean it's morning already? 

I hope it isn't, I don't want to get up.

"It's just not okay, you know it isn't." 

Is that Ingrid? It sounds like Ingrid. But who is she talking to? I want to open my eyes and look.

"It's his own problem." 

I don't immediately recognize that voice. So that's probably Felix. 

What are they talking about though? I could keep pretending to be asleep to listen in.

"I get that." Ingrid replies. "But what are his parents going to say? What is Lady Rhea going to think? He needs to stop being ridiculous, it's obvious he's just confused right now." 

Is she talking about Dimitri?

"You really think he's confused? Did you actually look at him? He's the happiest he's been in a long time," Felix argues.

Okay, now I'm positive they're talking about Dimitri. 

"He's confused, I know he is. Remember that time when he was focused on mental disorders? He was so convinced he had one." 

Felix sighs. "And your point is?" 

"I mean, I think Dimitri heard or read something about homosexuality and now he's convinced it applies to him as well. There's no other way. He's been with Edelgard for years and now all of a sudden he's gay? For Claude, of all people?" Ingrid sounds exasperated. 

Is Dimitri really that naive? There's no way. Maybe when he was younger, but now?

And what the fuck, I had no idea. Ingrid is against Dimitri's sexuality? Does Dimitri know? Probably not. 

"Ingrid, you're overreacting. What Dimitri does is Dimitri's business. Drop the subject already." 

"Well, Felix, maybe you're underreacting. How can you be so casual about this? It's sick, it's disgusting. Look at them! I don't know how I'm supposed to ignore that." 

Sick? Disgusting? How? Aren't they friends? I thought friends are supposed to accept each other. Maybe I'm dreaming this. That makes sense.

I open my eyes. The first thing I see is Dimitri's chest and a wet drool stain on his shirt, right where my mouth had been. 

Gross. 

I turn my head to see Ingrid and Felix sitting upright on the other side of the fire. Everyone else is sleeping. 

So I'm not dreaming. Realizing this makes my heart sink. How can she be so cruel to Dimitri? 

I've just decided that I don't trust Ingrid. Not now and not in a very long time. 

Felix does as she says, he looks at us, and we make eye contact. He doesn't even look impressed about the fact that I'm awake and listening, and casually turns back to Ingrid.

"It's just none of my business. I'm not bothered by them as long as they're not about to hump each other in front of me." 

I guess he didn't really say anything offensive, so it's just Ingrid who has a problem with Dimitri and I. 

I'm finding it difficult not to care about it. If it were just me she had a problem with, I wouldn't give a shit. But it's Dimitri as well.

"You know the rules in the monastery. Homosexuality is forbidden, for multiple reasons. I'm sure Dimitri would have never done this if we'd still been in there. That just proves that he isn't serious about this whole thing. As soon as he sees Edelgard, he'll run back to her like the loyal puppy he is." 

Felix shrugs. "Maybe that's true, but we aren't in the monastery. We're outside, free to do whatever we want. Dimitri isn't stupid, he knows that too. He knows there's no one of influence out here who can pressure him into being someone he's not. Why don't you just be happy for him?"

Ingrid runs her hands through her long blonde hair. "Because this isn't okay! They're both guys, how can they love each other like that? And on top of that, Dimitri is literally cheating on Edelgard right now. Why is everyone ignoring that?!" 

Right, that's true. I hadn't even considered that thought. I'm sure Dimitri will break up with Edelgard though. He would, right? 

"Because it's none of your business." I answer her this time. 

I'm tired of just listening to her talking shit about Dimitri. Time for me to step in and take care of that.

They both look at me now and I'd be lying if I said Ingrid doesn't look like she's feeling guilty. I can see in her wide open eyes that she never meant for me to hear anything she just said. 

"O-oh, Claude… I didn't think you'd be awake." She looks everywhere but my eyes. 

"I am, and thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can't say that I care about your opinion, but I'm sure Dimitri would be hurt terribly if he hears." 

She's about to interrupt me, but I shush her.

"I won't tell him. But that's only because I don't want him to get the idea that he's not allowed to be happy being the way he is. Don't think I'm trying to protect you, because you really don't deserve that." 

I have much more things I want to say, but I swallow the words. She is still Dimitri's friend, at least he feels that way, so I'll keep the peace between us. 

She just shouldn't get the wrong idea about me, I'll only tolerate her for his sake.

"You should both get some rest, we're heading out tomorrow." I turn my head away from them again. I don't want to look at Ingrid right now. 

Dimitri stirs a little from my movement, but he doesn't wake up. All he does is wrap his arm tighter around my waist, humming softly in his sleep.

I look at his sleeping face. He's breathing through his nose and the air lands on my face directly below his. He looks so calm and peaceful, blissfully unaware of everything Ingrid just said about him.

What she said kinda bothers me, even though I don't want to let it get to me. Does Dimitri ever think about Edelgard? He said he doesn't have feelings for her, but they still kept their relationship going for some reason.

Maybe he is just confused after all. Maybe he was missing something in his relationship with Edelgard and he thought I could make up for it.

Maybe it didn't even have to be me. Maybe I was just an easy catch because I've been alone for so long, silently craving somebody's affections. 

Maybe they're both just playing a game with me, laughing at me behind my back.

All these maybe's are making my head spin.

I hate this insecure feeling. Perhaps it would be better if Dimitri and I put our thing on hold for a bit. Until he can clear things up with Edelgard, whenever that may be.

But what if Dimitri is telling the truth? What if he really has been hiding his feelings for so long, using his relationship with Edelgard as a cover? I really don't want to hurt his feelings.

I shouldn't have gotten involved in this… this thing with Dimitri. I have no idea how I'm supposed to deal with all this drama right now. There are worse things going on than whether or not Dimitri is earnest about his feelings for me. 

I'll tell him tomorrow. Not about Ingrid, I said I wouldn't tell him, so I won't. I'll just tell him about my insecurities. We'll figure out what to do together, right? Isn't that how a relationship works? 

I lie my head back on his chest. My stomach hurts from all my negative emotions, but there's not much I can do about that right now. It's too hard to stop thinking about the things Ingrid said, and how much sense they're making. 

I don't even consider all the times Dimitri and I were in the library together, or the time when Dimitri comforted me when Raphael got attacked. Or how happy he was when he confessed his secret to me and I accepted him for who he is.

I don't even seem to remember Sylvain's words, which made Dimitri's feelings so obvious.

All I think about is Dimitri and Edelgard together, hugging and kissing. How Dimitri said they had a physical relationship. They really were a good match now that I think about it. 

Why would I ever believe someone like Dimitri would like me? Ridiculous. 

I just need to stay busy doing the things I need to do, things I know are more important, like find a way to release the magic and get my Deer back to safety. I don't have time for silly things like falling in love. 

I roll off of Dimitri's body to lie next to his, a small distance between us. I turn my back towards him. My body feels cold almost instantly and there's an ache in my heart I hadn't been feeling before. 

It's probably for the best. I need to focus on the infected, not some sweet, gorgeous guy with blonde hair and the most kind blue eyes in the world or how good he smells and the warmth of his body. Or how gentle his voice is when he talks to only me or the idea of the feeling of his soft pink lips against mine. 

Well, this certainly isn't helping. I'm thoroughly fucked.

"Claude? Are you awake?" Dimitri's soft voice is barely audible from behind me.

Fuck, of course he wakes up from that. I'll just pretend to be asleep. He doesn't need to think I rolled away from him on purpose, even though I did.

I'm really not comfortable lying on my side now though. My shoulder hurts and I have nothing I can put my head on top of. 

An arm, obviously Dimitri's, snakes around my waist and pulls me tighter against his front. He actually lifts up my head to put his other arm underneath it as a pillow. 

A soft kiss is pressed against my neck, just underneath my hairline. I don't want to like it, but it still gives me goosebumps. 

Damn this guy, waking up the butterflies in my stomach.

Maybe I should just enjoy it, now that I still can. I will talk to him tomorrow, so for now, things are still okay between us. 

I take hold of Dimitri's hand that's currently lying around my middle. 

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Of course he doesn't understand why I'm apologizing. "Why are you sorry?" 

I don't say anything. He sounds sleepy enough to fall asleep again in a few minutes. If I just wait that long, I won't have to deal with him just yet.

"Are you okay?" He asks with that sweet gentle voice. 

It just makes me melt, even more now that I know it could end soon. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I didn't mean to wake you." 

He yawns. "That's okay, now I can fall asleep with you in my arms again." 

He presses another kiss against my neck. 

He wouldn't say or do that if he didn't have feelings for me. That just wouldn't make sense. I can actually feel his heart beating rapidly, there's no way it's beating this fast because he's lying right? 

Why am I like this? Why can't I just trust Dimitri? I want to talk to him now, I know I won't be able to sleep until I get this off my chest. And besides, everyone else is asleep now, so no one will be able to hear us. 

Although, secretly I'm hoping Ingrid is still awake to hear what he has to say as well.

"Dimitri?" He better still be awake.

"Hmm?" His forehead is leaning against the back of my own head, causing me to feel literally every time he exhales.

It makes it a little difficult to concentrate on what I'm after.

"Do you think you're up for a talk right now?" It won't do if he's too tired, he'll just tell me what I want to hear so he can go back to sleep. 

He hums first. "About what?" 

That's a logical question, but I don't really want to scare him by telling him it's about us. 

"You'll hear it if you're up for it now. If you aren't, I'll find a moment tomorrow." He will hear it either way.

He takes a second before he answers. His exhale makes me shiver. "Sounds important." 

Depends on one's priorities. "Only somewhat." 

He sighs, or exhales deeply, I'm not sure how to take it. 

"Okay, I can talk now. Is something wrong?" His rand rubs soothing circles over my stomach. 

I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. It helps, but only a little bit. I'm scared I'm going to fuck this up, but I just need his reassurance right now.

Who thought I'd become such a needy little shit once someone finally decides they like me?

Before I start talking, I turn around to face him. It's more difficult to talk to him when I can see his eyes, but it's better that I can see his reactions. 

He looks like he's half-asleep and I wonder if I should really drop this bomb on him right now. He said he was up for it though, so he'd better be.

Well, here goes.

"Do you… Do you still think about Edelgard sometimes?" That's a good question right? 

He looks surprised before he blinks a few times, either to wake up or because the question is completely unexpected. "What? Why would you think that?" 

He's not trying to avoid the question, is he? 

"Can you just answer please?" I always thought Dimitri was a terrible liar, but if he's been lying, he's a damn good one.

"I do, but that's because I really want to know just what she thinks she's doing. Where's this coming from?" 

Ouch. I didn't think he'd admit it that easily.

No worries, it's not for the reason I thought. I hope.

"You uhm… You said you kept up your relationship to hide your sexuality right?" I continue after he nods. "Why still have a physical relationship?" 

"Claude… Please don't tell me you think I have feelings for her. I already explained all this, didn't I? What brought this on?" 

I won't tell him what Ingrid said, despite how much right he has to know. 

"Yeah, I know. I'm just… Fuck. Look, I don't know why but I'm just so insecure about this, this… I don't even know what we are. I'm sorry." 

He doesn't answer, instead, he moves away from me to sit up straight and pulls me up as well. 

"Claude, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel this way." 

I want to interrupt. This isn't his fault, he didn't even do anything, but he covers my mouth with his hand.

"Please, let me speak for a moment. I need to clear up a few things. Let me just start from the beginning. When I first saw you in the monastery, I thought you looked pretty. I mean, it was so obvious you weren't from here and your features… Your tanned skin, the combination of your bright green eyes and your cute dark curls. I just couldn't help myself. My own thoughts scared me, but I managed to forget about them and you soon enough because you disappeared as quickly as you showed up." 

Wait, he's really going to tell me everything? I'm not sure if I'm prepared for this.

He takes a deep breath. "Then, as teenagers, I saw you again. It was only very briefly, so brief that I didn't even catch more than a glimpse of you, but I knew it was you. You hadn't changed much, you were still as pretty as the first times I saw you. Scratch that, you were even prettier. I looked for you almost everywhere after that. Whenever I had a bit of time, I went searching for you just to look at you." 

That explains why I saw him so often. I always wondered what that was about. But now that he said it, it makes me feel a little awkward. Awkward and mushy on the inside.

He laughs softly. "Uhm… I'm aware that that kinda sounds creepy. I mean, I already knew that back then, but I blamed it on the fact that you looked different from everyone else. I used that as an excuse for why I kept searching for you, but it wasn't difficult for me to understand the actual reason. I just didn't want to admit it. That I was falling for you, I mean. I'd never even spoken to you, so that'd be weird. I simply denied it. But then, one night after dinner, we talked for the first time. I'm not sure if you remember, but I'd just finished reading a book and brought it back to the library. You wanted to read it after me, but before you took it, you asked what I thought of it. I don't remember what I said, but it made you laugh. My heart sped up and I immediately decided that I loved hearing you laugh." 

I smile at that. I mean, how can I not? He looks so happy remembering all this, or maybe being able to tell all this. Either way, it's doing weird things to my stomach.

"But then I started hearing stories about you. People saying that you were an outsider, a freeloader. I didn't want to hear it. In my eyes, you were special. You were something to be cherished, admired. You weren't one of us, you weren't a coward like us. You were proof that there was something outside the walls. I hate myself for not standing up for you back then, because I was a coward. That's one of the reasons why I never mustered up the courage to properly talk to you. I didn't feel like I had the right to be your friend, because I couldn't even protect your name. That, and I was scared of what it would do to me. My poor heart couldn't even handle seeing you smile, let alone a smile directed at me." 

We're both sitting here, smiling like idiots as he's talking and I'm listening. I never expected him to have such strong feelings for me back then. I hardly even paid any attention to him if I'm being honest.

"God, Claude. After some time, you were all I could think about. You filled my thoughts, no matter where I was, who I was with or what I was doing. I got so scared. I kept thinking people could read my thoughts or someone would notice my feelings for you, so I needed to hide them. And I tried, really hard, but I couldn't. Not from my parents. My mother asked me one day why I hadn't had a girlfriend yet, while Sylvain had a different one almost every week. I didn't know how to answer it. That's when she probably started suspecting me. After that, she tried to set me up with so many different girls, but I couldn't feel attracted to any of them. All I thought of was you." 

It's finally starting to become clear to me. Dimitri really likes me. He's not confused, he's not just messing with me. He genuinely has feelings for me. 

Why. Am. I. Stupid? 

He doesn't need to finish his story to make his point anymore. I believe him and I trust him. And I want him. And I want to be his.

"So obviously I needed a way to hide how I really felt, so when Edelgard's paren-" 

I press my fingers against his lips this time. "Shh, that's enough. I get it now, I'm sorry for doubting you." 

He looks surprised, but doesn't resist as I move closer to him. 

"You really like me a lot, don't you?" 

He can't verbally reply with my fingers covering his mouth, so he just nods quickly. 

"I really like you a lot too. Not for as long and intense as you've liked me, but I can tell that I do. I want to be yours." This feels right. 

No more doubting him, no more insecurities, no more misunderstandings. We will figure this out, together.

Both his eyes and his smile grow wider. He pulls my hand off his face before he answers.

"Do you really mean that?" He looks so hopeful.

"Yes, I really mean that. Will you have me be yours?" Okay I do need him to answer before I get nervous again.

"Of course. Oh, Claude, of course I will. Please let me be yours as well." 

"Well, duh. Come here." I open my arms so he can hug me.

But instead of gently hugging me like I intended, he literally tackles me to the ground before he starts kissing my face everywhere. 

"I'm so happy. You're the most amazing, beautiful, smart and kind person alive." He kisses my chin and then my nose and then both my cheeks.

Pretty much everywhere but my lips, where I kinda want him to right now. 

I take hold of his face, forcing him to look into my eyes. "Can you hold still like this for just a second?" 

"Yes," he breathes. 

How does one kiss? Great timing to start wondering that. 

I guess I'll just, like, press my lips against his and then-

"How long are you going to take?" He whispers. "I'm not as patient as I may seem." 

That's good to know. 

"Well, sorry for this being my first kiss. Please forgive me." I deserve credit, not impatience.

"This is… really your first kiss?" 

I nod. Why is everyone so surprised about this? It's not like anyone actually ever wanted to kiss me before.

"Oh, sorry." He moves away from where he was hovering over me.

No, don't apologize and don't move away. Should I not have said that? 

He smiles at me as he pulls me back up by my hand to join him.

"Can I maybe give you your first kiss? I mean, it's okay with me if you want to be the one to kiss me, but I'd like to give it to you." 

This guy. Well, Sylvain did say he's the romantic kind of person. I just didn't expect he'd make me blush so damn often with his weird romantic crap. Don't get me wrong, I love how he makes me feel by pulling that. 

"Yeah, that's fine too. You go ahead." It's a bit weird to say it like that, but he does need my permission before he'll act.

He smiles, then tries to stop, then smiles again because he's just too happy right now. How sweet, it gives me butterflies. 

His one hand finds grip on my hip while his other one reaches out towards my neck. 

No, not my neck. Don't touch that. 

Bad memories of Seteth wrapping his hand around my throat and squeezing it tightly surface in my head. My breathing picks up and I try hard to swallow the lump that's forming in my throat.

I slap his advancing hand away, which earns me a confused look. "Sorry, did I…" 

I shake my head. 

Come on Claude, just get your breathing under control. He doesn't want to hurt you, he doesn't mean any harm.

"Claude? Claude, please talk to me. What's wrong?" 

I actually hear him loud and clearly, it just takes way too much effort to reply. 

Breathe, just breathe. It's not that hard.

"Claude, I'm sorry. I won't do that again, just please talk to me." 

Shit, I feel terrible. This isn't his fault, but I can imagine he feels like it is.

With a trembling voice and a lump in my dry throat, I finally manage to bring out a few words. "Just… hold me." 

Yes, that should help. Just hold me.

He complies immediately, pulling me into his arms and gently stroking my greasy hair. 

I try to even out my breaths, but it proves too difficult to do on my own. How pathetic. 

"Shh, it's okay. No one wants to hurt you. Breathe in with me, okay? Take a deep breath." 

His soft voice somehow manages to break into my cloudy mind, allowing me to follow his instructions. 

I take a deep breath and hold it, until Dimitri tells me to let it out. 

We repeat this action a few times before I can finally breathe on my own again. 

"There you go. That was scary." He's still holding me close.

"I'm sorry, that should not have happened." My voice sounds rough.

What a way to ruin a kiss. Amazing, first prize.

"It's okay, I should have known better." He elaborates when I give him a questioning look. "That's where Seteth… hurt you, isn't it? I'm sorry for being so careless." 

He remembers that? 

"It's fine. I honestly didn't even expect to react to that at all. Sorry for ruining what was supposed to be our first kiss." I laugh to let him know I'm not angry or upset with him. 

"Don't apologize for that. I think it's much more important that you're calm again after remembering a trauma like that. Would you like to get some rest?"

I nod. Sleeping in Dimitri's arms sounds amazing right now. I can't wait to feel his warmth everywhere again. 

"Let's go to sleep then." He settles on the ground before patting his shoulder to let me know I can use it to sleep on. 

That's not enough for me though. Instead of just lying my head on his shoulder, I move my body over his. I want to lie on top of his body, like how I was when I woke up. 

He seems to understand what I'm trying to do, so he shifts his body into the position I need him in so I can lower my body onto his. 

"You comfortable like this?" He asks softly.

"Mmm." Is all I manage to bring out.

His musky scent fills my nose. It's mixed with a bit of sweat, but that's what makes it so Dimitri. I love his smell. 

"G'night Dima." 

I receive a kiss on top of my head. 

"Sleep tight, my love." 

.

"I want to wash my hair!" Hilda stomps on the ground. 

"Your hair is probably the least important thing we need to deal with right now." 

They're so loud. Oh my god. 

"Yes, sure Linhardt, but maybe we need water? I mean I don't have much left, I don't know how much everyone else still has." 

"I'm almost out of water too. Maybe it would be good to make a trip to the river." Leonie suggests.

"Yes, I like that idea. Who's going?" Hilda asks. 

Why are they up so early? I groan loudly before I stretch my arms. My hand touches something and I retract both my arms quickly.

"Ow." 

I quickly look at who made that sound. It's Dimitri, who else, and he's holding his nose. Oops.

"I'm sorry." I shouldn't laugh, but it's hard to hold it back. 

Looks like I'm forgiven though, he laughs along with me before he strokes a bit of hair out of my face.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?" He asks. 

I yawn before I can answer. "Yeah, like a baby. So what's going on?" 

He looks around at the others in our camp. "Hilda has been demanding that we go to the river before we do anything else. Linhardt and Lysithea have been protesting, but the majority seems to agree that we need water. What do you think?" 

What do I think? It's not like I'm the grand leader. He looks at me expectantly, so I guess he does see me as one. 

I don't even know if I'm capable of leading such a big group. 

"What do you think?" I ask in retaliation. 

"Oh, uhm… I don't think I could make a rational decision right now. I just want to find Dedue and Annette as soon as possible, but that might not be in the group's best interest. You can decide, we'll follow." 

He's right about that. He'll probably let his emotions lead him, rather than what would be better for everyone. 

"Okay. Guys, listen up!" I stand up from where I was half-lying on top of Dimitri. The arguing stops and everyone who's awake is looking at me. 

"We're going to find the river for water and to wash up. If I remember correctly, the river should flow through the forest. It shouldn't be too hard to locate it. Everyone is going, so wake up anyone who's still asleep. The rest of you, start packing." 

"Ahem, Claude?" Linhardt speaks up. "Do you really think we should be going for water now? We're so close to getting rid of the spell, you'll just be wasting valuable time. We still have plenty of water to make it out of the forest and do what we have to. We can always go to the river after." 

Linhardt is a smart guy, so whenever he speaks, I absolutely consider his words and his reasons. 

But Linhardt is also sort of a selfish guy who mainly thinks of what would be best for him. He may not see the value of washing up before getting to the job, but I know it'd be better for everyone's morale and motivation.

"I understand what you mean, but we also haven't found Dedue and Annette yet. There's a good chance they might be near water, so it's worth it to go check it out anyways." 

"Hooray! Thank you, Claude! You're the best Leader man in history," Hilda cheers. 

"Yeah, yeah. Just complete the tasks I just gave you, we're heading out as soon as everyone is ready." 

My Deer plus Linhardt gets to their tasks, but the small Blue Lions squad doesn't seem to be interested in listening to me.

Sylvain is bothering Hilda with all sorts of questions about marrying and having babies, Felix is cleaning his weapons and Ingrid is talking to him while he's doing that. 

I can't hear what they're saying exactly, but seeing Felix' annoyed frown, I don't need to guess what it's about. 

It seems Dimitri understands my current struggle. "Sorry, I'll talk to them. They need to listen to you now as well." 

I nod. It's not like I want to be the one in charge, but I need everyone to be on the same page here.

He heads over to the three of them and I can see Ingrid turning her head away as soon as he gets closer to them. 

I wonder if she heard everything he said to me before. Thinking back on his words, it gives me butterflies in my stomach. 

Dimitri loves me.

Who even cares about Ingrid? Everyone else seemed to be okay with us, so I'm not going to bother focusing on her negativity. That's literally the last thing I need right now.

Just like I told the others to do, I start packing my own bag as well. I notice that I'm running low on food rations and I'd be surprised if anyone else still has a big stash. 

We'll have to start foraging and hunting for food soon. I'm not looking forward to that at all, despite the many different things we could eat here in this forest. 

I still have a fishing rod as well. For some reason, the idea of fishing bothers me less than actively hunting down animals. I won't eat any fish myself, but I brought it in case someone else wanted to.

Dimitri returns to me a lot quicker than I expected he would. I haven't even removed the perimeter yet. 

"I talked to them. They seemed to mind a little at first, especially Ingrid," 

What a surprise.

"-but Felix and Sylvain said they'd follow your orders as well as mine. It did take some convincing, probably because they don't really know you yet." 

I don't blame them. I'd have a problem following their orders too.

"That's great. Thank you." 

He smiles. He always looks so happy whenever I compliment him or his actions. How cute. 

"I'll help the others with packing." He says before he walks off again. 

This is nice. I'm glad we're not the kind of couple that clings together all the time. He needs to be able to do his own thing, and I mine, without needing to be together at all times. 

Leonie approaches me right after Dimitri left. "An infected got caught in the rope Linhardt wove around the trees on the other side of camp. Raphael and I took it down, no casualties." 

Awesome. "Thanks for the report. Good job." 

She nods before she starts helping Marianne with repacking her things. I never knew Marianne was such a grub. She seemed like a neat and tidy person, but nothing could be further from the truth. 

I am happy that everyone seems to work together properly now. Even without me having to tell them. 

"Ignatz, can you come with me for a second?" It would probably be a bad idea to remove the perimeter alone. 

"Y-yes, of course." He gets up and joins me as I head a bit further into the forest. 

The lines with cans aren't hard to spot, so I start untangling them from the trees as soon as I see them. 

He follows my example quickly and it doesn't take too long before we take down everything.

"Looks like that was the last one." Ignatz pushes up his glasses.

I nod before I start stuffing the rope and cans back into my bag. It looks like I'm the only one who's still busy with packing since everyone else is just waiting for me now.

"Sylvain, is your leg even okay? Maybe we shouldn't head out so soon after all." Ingrid directs a side glance at me.

"My leg is fine enough, but if it starts to hurt, you can be the one to massage it." He winks at her. 

Great. Now that I finally got Lorenz far enough to cooperate, Ingrid starts working against me. Good thing Sylvain probably has no idea of what was going on last night, I wouldn't know whose side he'd be on. It's hard to estimate his thoughts.

Ingrid just groans in annoyance. "Do you always have to say stuff like that? I wish you could just react like a normal person once in a while." 

I feel kinda bad for Ingrid now that I hear her say that. She said last night that Dimitri isn't normal either. I'm guessing Rhea has brainwashed her to the point where everyone needs to be Rhea's version of 'normal', before Ingrid is willing to accept them. 

It wouldn't be fair of me to judge Ingrid for it. I hope she'll open up to other visions though. It's a great shame that she's still following Rhea so blindly, even after what was done to us.

"Believe it or not, but it's pretty normal for a guy to want to be massaged by a girl like you." Sylvain defends.

"Not for all guys apparently." She shrugs. 

Sylvain eyes me immediately. Did she tell him about it after all? 

He just smiles at me though and I can't really tell if it's fake or genuine. He just has that sort of smile that makes it difficult to tell.

Nevertheless, I smile back. "If your leg is hurt, we'll be sure to take breaks regularly. Since we all care about each other and their needs, right Ingrid?" 

It's probably childish of me to act this way, but I know neither Dimitri nor myself deserves to be insulted for wanting to be happy.

She doesn't respond. 

"So, everyone good to go?" It'd be nice to head out now. Thankfully, the weather is great again, so I'd like to get as far as possible in one day.

My Deer reply to me, which I find good enough, so I decide it's time to head out. 

.

Leading a group of twelve people through a deadly forest is a lot harder than I thought it would be. It's incredibly difficult to keep an eye on the ones in the back when I'm in the front leading the way. 

For that reason, Dimitri went to walk behind everyone to keep an eye on them. I'm glad he offered to do so. 

I wouldn't worry so much if it were just my Deer, but I just don't know how the Lions act when there's danger. From what Sylvain told me, I think I can assume that Felix is very impulsive, just like Dimitri. He'll attack something without thinking it through first, possibly leading to fatal injuries like the one he just recovered from. 

Sylvain himself doesn't seem like the kind of guy who pays much attention to his surroundings. I don't know if that's really the case, but one can never be too careful. 

And then Ingrid, who I really struggle with. It's more a personal matter than anything, but I can't seem to get over my distrust for her. 

This is tough. How am I ever going to lead all these people?

We haven't been walking very far, but I can already hear the sound of water streaming. It's an absolute blessing. 

I call out to the others. "I think we're close, but don't let your guards down just yet." 

I'm glad we're didn't encounter any infected. Although I know that this peace can't last forever. 

"I can't wait to feel the water just rinse away all my worries." Hilda sighs in content.

"Ugh, it's going to be so terribly cold though." Lysithea is already shivering.

Leonie doesn't seem to be so happy either. "We can't even dry off. There's no way I'm entering the water." 

"I think we should make a rule." Sylvain announces. "All the girls have to get in the water." 

"Denied." There's no way I'm making a rule like that. 

"Aw, Dimitri would have approved." He still tries.

"I'm sure he would've." But I won't.

The walk is just a little bit longer, about ten minutes, before the river comes into view.

"Oh, we're here! Thank god." Hilda passes me by in a hurry to get to the water.

I make sure to scan the area before I stop or follow her. There doesn't seem to be anything going on, except a few waterbirds along the edge. I doubt they're going to try to kill us though.

"Yup, we made it." I'm glad we made it without encountering any dangers. 

I think that's because this part of the river isn't really close to the edge on the other side of the forest. That means we're not close to the magic source, so there are less infected around. 

That's perfect. 

Dimitri approaches me. "How long did you want to spend he-" 

He just stops talking when he sees I'm busy taking off my shirt. 

"Hold this if you like." I tell him with a wink before I push my dirty shirt in his hands. 

He makes a squeaky sound and his face is probably the reddest I've seen it up to now. 

What an amazing sight. And I guess he's thinking the same about me, if his shameless staring at my upper body is any indication.

I don't intend to stick around here though. I do want to get in the water, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.

After I take a small sprint towards the edge of the river, I just jump in, trying not to think about how cold the water is. 

Hilda, who is already sitting on the edge with her feet dangling in the water, gets a major splash of water against her still clothed body.

"You have got to be kidding me." She says while trying to shake the water off her hands.

My head surfaces and I shake my head to rid my hair off of some water too. 

"You guys, get in! The water's great." It's not even that cold. 

"Oh, you bet! I'll get you back for this." Hilda gets up quickly to take off her pants and sweater. 

She takes a running leap before she as well jumps into the water. The first thing she does is try to submerge my head, but obviously I'm not just going to let her. It turns into an all-out water fight between us.

Some others follow us in and join our water fight, like Felix, Sylvain, Raphael and Lysithea. 

The others just stay on the side, collecting water and cleaning themselves to the best of their abilities on the river's edge. 

I kinda want Dimitri in here so I can see if I'm stronger than him. I swim over to the edge, as close to him as possible. My arms are leaning on the grass along the riverside. 

"Hey, psst." It's not hard to draw his attention, he's been looking at me the whole time. 

"Hey there." He smiles as he comes closer to me. "You having fun?" 

I nod. "Yeah, but I'm sure it'd be more fun if you were in here too." 

He sits down in front of me, his legs on either side of my body. He pulls on my arms so I can lean them on his legs instead. 

This is nice. The sun is shining through the trees and onto him, making his blonde hair even lighter. He's so beautiful, I could stare at him for hours.

"I can't get into the water. Some gorgeous guy told me to hold onto this." He holds up the shirt I pushed into his arms before.

He thinks I'm a gorgeous guy. Those words make my cheeks burn up a little. 

"Maybe you could get that same guy to drop that command and tell you to join me in here instead." 

He huffs a laugh. "Hmm, I don't know about that. I don't want him to get jealous or anything." 

"I doubt he'd mind. I, for one, would love for you to come in here." Just for a little bit. 

"I think I'll just stay here. I want to make sure I can protect you when needed. I can't really do that when you distract me too much." He runs a hand through my wet hair. 

What he says makes sense, but I'm still disappointed. 

"Okay, just make sure to wash." I get back into the water, making sure I'm out of his reach before I finish my sentence. "Because you smell." 

And just to be a little more annoying, I spit out a bit of water on his pants. 

"Oh, you think that's funny?" He asks, but his smile tells me he isn't really upset about that.

I just can't get rid of this smile on my face. "Yes, quite so actually." 

"Well, in that case…" he takes off his own shirt and jumps into the water as well. 

He's a bit taller than me, so he can stand in here with no troubles. Damn his long legs. 

He approaches me way faster than should be possible and I don't even have any time to get away from him before he grabs hold of me. 

"Wait, stop, have mercy." I try to push him away, but he is in fact stronger than me.

Guess I won't have to try to find out anymore.

"No, I don't think I will," he tells me before he literally lifts my body up in the air to throw me into the air and then into the water.

What the literal fuck.

I barely manage to take a breath and hold it before I land into the water. When I open my eyes underwater, I can see dozens of small fishes swimming around. They're so pretty. 

After I take a mouth full of water, I surface again. Dimitri is looking at me with a worried face. 

"Are you hurt? I'm really sorry, I didn't consider any rocks or shallow water." 

Right when he tries to look me over for any injuries, I spit the water in his face. 

I may not be able to lift him up and throw him around, but I can at least pay him back in my own way. Even if it was me that started this in the first place.

We play around for a long time, relaxing and having fun. 

I'm aware that this isn't what we should be doing, but I'm sure that we all kinda needed this. 

Hilda and Lorenz are lying on the shore, sunbathing in the little sunlight that manages to break through the trees.

Raphael, Sylvain, Felix, Dimitri and I are fully engaged in a water fight.

I handed my fishing rod to Leonie, who's fishing together with Ignatz and Marianne a small distance away from me. I'm happy she respects my wish this time.

Lysithea is busy trying to get Linhardt into the water with her, since he's half asleep right now.

Now it's just Ingrid who's having trouble blending in. Sylvain, Dimitri and even myself have asked her to get into the water with us, but she kept rejecting. 

Maybe I'll have a talk with her soon. I think that could help. I hope. 

Either way, I can't let her ruin the atmosphere among everyone else. We're finally getting along and working together. I'd like to keep it that way, even if she doesn't blend in well.

For now we'll just enjoy this. Duty will call again later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I disagreed very much with Dimitri's previous love declaration I mean he's the sappiest of the sappy so it needed to be better 
> 
> My apologies for completely ooc'ing Claude with all the insecurities and stuff, hope you don't mind too much :) 
> 
> Thank you for still reading!!


	27. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so before you start reading this chapter, I'd like to say a few things 
> 
> I really hope y'all are doing okay during these difficult times with covid-19, I hope you and your family are healthy and will stay healthy and I'm so terribly sorry if you lost someone due to this terrible outbreak
> 
> Just remember to follow the procedures that are going on rn, wash your hands regularly, sneeze and cough in your elbow, avoid large groups of people and physical contact and keep your distance from other people
> 
> Also if you hoard toilet-paper, please stop doing that, there are many people that are running out
> 
> Together, we can keep each other safe :) 
> 
> Anyways, now I just want to thank you for reading my story and we are on the plottrain y'all!! Hope you're still enjoying the story 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and the comments and the hits, thank you all so much maybe I'll start writing another story after I complete this one

After playing around for a few hours, it's about lunchtime, so everyone gets out of the water to gather around the riverside. 

"Guys, we caught plenty of fish for whoever wants any!" Leonie says happily.

They really caught a lot. I hope none of those fishes died for no reason. I will force-feed anyone who wastes any.

Ignatz tries to get a fire starting while Raphael gets busy with setting up his cooking kit.

"Uhm, Claude? I'm going to have to gut the fish, so if you don't want to see that, I suggest you turn away." Leonie warns.

"Ah, sure. Thanks for the warning." I do as she says, which conveniently causes me to turn to Dimitri. 

"You don't eat fish either?" Before mentioned guy asks me.

I shake my head. "No, I don't like the idea of killing something for the sole purpose of eating it." 

He contemplates it for a bit. 

"But it's not like you can't just because I don't. That's still up to you." I add quickly. 

He doesn't need to change his ways for me. If he decides he wants to, I won't tell him no. But I don't want to be the one to tell him what he can or can't do.

"No, that's okay. I said I'd stop eating meat, so I won't eat any fish either. Do you… maybe still have some rations?" He almost looks embarrassed asking it. 

He can be so silly at the weirdest times.

"Of course, let me go get some for both of us." I know I don't have much left, but I'm sure I still have two.

I head over to my bag to grab the cans with food. Hm, four left. And I don't know if Raphael or someone else maybe has some left either. 

Doubtful. I packed spares but I don't think anyone besides Raphael did. And Raphael eats a damn lot, I'd be surprised if he still has any.

As I move around, my wet hair drips onto my back, leaving cold and wet trails over my skin. I should probably put on my shirt, but I know Dimitri likes me without it.

What to do, what to do? 

Maybe if I show him how cold I am, he'll get the hint and warm me up himself. That's a great plan. He already put on his own shirt again, which I find more than mildly disappointing.

I take two cans out of my bag before I return and sit down next to Dimitri again.

"Here you go," I tell him as I hand him a can. 

He accepts it with a smile. "Thank you. How much do you still have left?" 

"Two now. We'll have to start foraging soon. And probably hunting as well." The last part I add begrudgingly.

He nods. "My Lions and I had been searching for a food source to bring back to the monastery, so we know pretty well what we can eat and what might be poisonous. You should leave the foraging to us." 

Oh, right. The 'reason' why were sent out here. 

Rhea and Seteth… I wonder what they're up to now. How did the people in the monastery react when they heard we all supposedly died with the exception of the Black Eagles? Are they just moving on with their lives, or are they getting suspicions as well? Surely not everyone follows Rhea so blindly, right? 

"That's very convenient. Thanks a lot." 

"It's only natural that we contribute. You don't need to be thankful." He says that, but I can't say I feel the same way about the thankful part. 

We eat in silence after that. I'm just trying to find a good moment to tell him I'm cold since he hasn't noticed my goosebumps and shivering yet.

"Alright, who wants fish?" Raphael's voice booms over any other sound.

A loud cheering comes from the rest of the group. 

"Nu-uh, Sylvain, ladies first!" Hilda almost literally pushes him out of her way to get to the fish first. 

'Delicate flower', my ass. There's nothing delicate about that monster when she finds motivation. 

"But Hilda, I'm hurt." He whines at her.

"Stop being such a baby and act your age already." Felix bites.

"But Felix, I'm hurt." Sylvain repeats. "I'm allowed to be a baby now. Won't you feed me?" 

"Like hell I will. Get away from me!" 

Is it just me, or does Sylvain look so much happier when he finds a way to annoy Felix?

Must be my imagination.

They're all hurrying to get one of the fishes Raphael is handing out. I kinda do hope they enjoy their meal, I guess they deserve it in some way.

"Aren't you cold?" Dimitri finally asks.

"Yeah kinda. The wind is pretty chilly." I rub my bare arms to demonstrate for him.

"I forgot where I left your shirt. You can wear the one I have on if you want, it might help a little." He already starts taking off his shirt again so he can give it to me instead. 

But that's not what I was after at all.

I put my hand on his arm to stop him from pulling the shirt over his head. He looks at me questioningly.

"How about…" I start before I fix his shirt. "-you just keep me warm in your arms? I'd like that a lot more." I try to smile seductively but I have no idea if it looks even a little bit like I want it to. 

Judging from the way his mouth is slightly open and his cheeks a delightful pink, I think I'm doing a pretty good job.

Awesome.

"This is the part where you move closer to me and wrap your arms around me." I whisper. 

He blinks a few times to refocus and think over my words. His cheeks get an even darker color now as he shyly scoots closer to me to wrap his arms around me, like I told him to. His body is so warm against my naked skin.

There we go. 

Now seems like the perfect time to start teasing him. "Don't tell me you're getting shy now. You've hugged me so many times already." 

"Well, yes, but then you weren't… I mean you are…" He's trying so hard.

This is just gold. I really love the way his cheeks turn pink when he doesn't have a way to counter my teasing. 

He's currently sitting behind me with his chest against my back and his arms around my middle. I put one of my own arms around his so I can hold his hand. The urge to just lean back into his warmth is too great to resist, so I do just that. 

He kisses my temple on the side that's closest to his face before he leans his cheek on my shoulder. 

"You're breathtaking," he whispers into my ear.

He says that, but I can feel him exhaling plenty fine. It makes me laugh, but softly. I don't want to disrupt this moment with a laughing fit because of some stupid inside joke. 

Still, I'm getting goosebumps all over my body and I'm certain it's not from cold anymore. 

I don't like that I can't see him in this position. All I see is his blonde hair in the corner of my eye. I want to know if he's still blushing. I know I am.

"May I kiss you?" He asks softly.

"I told you, you don't need to ask me that." 

He laughs before kisses my shoulder, then my neck. His lips move to the spot right under my ear, then my jaw and then he kisses my cheek. 

"I know you said that, but I want to kiss your lips," he whispers. 

If I thought my heart was beating fast before, it's doing some real crazy stuff now.

"Your heart is beating so fast," he notices. "Are you nervous?" 

"Maybe." I laugh. Or giggle. I don't know what it was, but it was a weird laugh. I should never do that again.

"We don't have to yet. I don't want you to be uncomfortable." It's nice to hear him reassure me of that fact.

That's all the more reason why I do want to kiss him. Because there's no pressure, there are no bad consequences if I don't.

"I think you're underestimating my comfortability right now." I try to turn my head towards his as much as my neck allows me, which isn't very much, might I add.

Nevertheless, it should be far enough for him to reach my lips with his. I mean, if he tries. 

Our gazes meet and we both smile at each other. He's so damn pretty. 

He leans in closer to me, first nuzzling my nose a bit with his own. I'm sure I couldn't get rid of my stupid smile, even if I tried, so I'm not going to bother with that. 

He closes his eyes. "I've been wanting this so much."

I close my own eyes as well. "Now's your chance." 

I can feel the puff or air from his soft huffy laugh against my lips. 

Speaking of lips, do I need to wet mine first? No wait, I'm sure I taste like beans, that'd be gross. But doesn't he taste like beans too? 

Am I actually going to taste what his mouth tastes like? 

"Oh my god, you guys shut up. They're kissing, they're actually kissing!" Hilda screams in excitement.

"Wow, finally! I was wondering how long it'd take them." Sylvain adds.

"Who placed bets?" Leonie asks around.

Seriously? How did I even forget about all them? Dimitri is a very dangerous guy, being able to distract me this much from everything and everyone but him.

My eyes open and I almost pull away from Dimitri, but he quickly moves one of his arms from around my middle to hold my face in place with his hand. 

"Don't mind them, please." He's actually pleading.

He did say he's not as patient as he may seem. Now I'm kinda wondering how long I could make him wait for me, but that's a little cruel, even for me.

"You're right, sorry." When I look back into his eyes, every feeling of ruined mood I had just seems to ebb away. 

He's looking at me with so much affection and want, how was I ever even able to deny him anything? Well, I won't be anymore, not after seeing him like this. 

I turn my body a little more towards his to block out my view on the others, who are pretty much just staring at us now. I move my free hand to his face as well, laying it on his pink cheek. 

"May I?" He asks. 

I nod in approval. He may, now and forever. 

His face leans towards mine once more, this time fully closing the distance between us. His soft lips meet mine and envelop them in the sweetest warmth I've ever felt before.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to breathe while we're kissing, but I inhale through my nose anyway. His delicious scent fills my senses, only adding to the amazing feeling. 

Boy, he could kiss me day and night if every kiss is like this. 

His lips move away with a soft smacky sound for a small second before he leans back in, this time crooking his head a bit to the side. 

Our lips melt together as if they were made for each other. 

I can hear woo's and clapping and cheering around us, but it doesn't bother me. I'm way too delighted right now to care. 

There's a tingly feeling in my lips and I never want to leave his again.

But then suddenly I feel something else pressing against my lips, something wet and it makes me pull back in surprise.

"Oh, sorry. I should have probably warned you first." He smiles, but I can tell he's a little flustered.

Wait, was that his tongue then? I wanna try that. 

"It's fine, I was just surprised." I'm about to lean back in for another kiss, when; 

"Don't we have other things to do, Claude? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you. But we have other things to do than make out." Lorenz crosses his arms over his chest.

Right, destroy magic.

"Ahem, yes, sorry. You're right." I can't believe how sidetracked I've gotten.

I'm blaming Dimitri for this one. 

Mentioned guy looks embarrassed at being called out on, but happy either way.

"I'll go look for your shirt," he tells me before he breaks apart from me and gets up.

I nod, but I don't wanna get up and fight infected again. It's an unrealistic thought, at least for now, but I want to just spend all of our time here with everyone. 

Guess I'll just work hard to reach that achievement.

"Aw, do we really have to leave already? But we were having so much fun…" Hilda pouts at Lorenz. 

"Why yes, Hilda. We'll come back to 'have fun' when we're done with our work. Capiche?" 

She rolls her eyes before she turns to Lysithea. "What was that last word he said?" 

"I think carpous," Lysithea shrugs. 

Hilda raises her eyebrows. "And what is that?" 

I can't say I've ever heard of 'carpous' either.

Lysithea thinks it over for a second, putting a finger to her chin. "Hmm, something with fruit." 

Hilda turns back to Lorenz. "Why would you say I'm fruity? It better be a tasty one." 

Lorenz looks ready to hit someone. "No! Oh, god, please stand by me. I said capiche, which means 'do you understand?'" 

They continue arguing about Lorenz' choice of words for a while. 

These people, I swear.

. 

Now where does one start his search for a small ginger girl and a tall muscular dark man? I've been pondering over the answer for a while now and I can't seem to find a good answer.

We've been following the river for a few kilometres with the hope we'd find Annette and Dedue, but of course it couldn't be that easy. 

Perhaps they didn't settle anywhere near water after all. 

I sigh loudly. Why is this so hard? 

"Everything alright?" Ignatz asks me in a hushed voice. 

Being honest and communication is important in a group, right? It probably can't hurt to confide in Ignatz a little. 

"Not really. I want to find Annette and Dedue, but I just don't know where I'm supposed to look for them." 

He looks up while he thinks it over. "Well, we've already thoroughly searched the village, so they're not there. We didn't see them around the monastery either, right? At least I didn't. And they don't seem to be near the river, like you suggested they might be. Maybe Ingrid or the others have an idea? I don't really know, I'm sorry for not being of much help." He scratches his cheek in a nervous way.

I consider his words. "No, wait, you might be onto something." 

Ingrid and the others… Sylvain said Dedue distracted the superinfected while he, Ingrid and Felix escaped. Could that mean that Dedue never actually made it into the forest? Sylvain didn't know what happened to him or Annette either. 

Our best shot at finding out where to start looking would be to just follow Dedue's last whereabouts. 

Which is, very inconveniently, outside of the forest near the superinfected. 

I'm gonna have to tell Dimitri. And probably the others as well. I think I need to stop prioritizing Dimitri.

Ignatz perks up from my words. "Did I really help? I'm glad I could do something for you!" 

What a sweetheart. 

I nod. I'll still have to think about the details, but I know that our next stop will be outside the forest. 

That's gonna be shit. If that infected really is as strong as Sylvain described, some of us may not make it out alive. 

I don't even want to think about that. There has to be a way for me to make sure I can protect everyone. If only I had more information about this infected guy and his weapon. 

"Yeah, you were a great help. Thanks." 

"Infected spotted!" Sylvain calls out loudly. 

Everyone readies their weapons to defend, except Felix, who charges at the infected immediately. 

"Felix, wait! Don't be reckless!" He needs to stop doing that, this is the fourth time already and I'm getting tired of having to repeat myself.

"I'll back him up, no worries!" Sylvain looks at me for approval, which I'm happy to give. 

Better that Felix stays safe, even if he's being a major pain in the ass.

It's hard for me to see what's going on exactly, but it looks like the two of them have taken down the infected already. Damn, they're fast. I doubt my Deer could ever pull that off, with our chaotic way of doing things. 

It's part of our charm I guess. 

"Wow, nice job! You were so strong." Hilda compliments Sylvain right away when he comes back to join the group. 

He beams from the attention he's receiving from her. 

Ah, that smug bastard. She knows exactly how to play him so he'll continue to take down infected for her compliments. How did I not notice before just how useful she is in that way?

"Well thanks, I trained hard enough to protect pretty girls like yourself." Sylvain winks at her and she giggles in return. 

Very useful indeed. 

"Oh my god, I'm about to throw up," Ingrid pretends to be gagging.

"Sorry, Ingrid, baby. I didn't think you'd get jealous. Please tell me how to make it up to you." 

Ingrid groans loudly. "You could if you'd stop calling me that!" 

Their banter continues, so I shut them out.

I still need to talk to Dimitri.

"Ignatz, take over the lead for me for a sec. Just keep following the river, but stop walking if you see a clearing." That shouldn't be too hard to follow.

He hesitates though. "I-I don't think I could. I mean, I'm not a leader so…" 

I pat him on the shoulder. "Don't be like that, show those girls that you're a man! You got this, no prob." 

He nods carefully before his confidence level seems to rise a little, a small smile showing on his face. "You really think so?" 

"Of course! Don't worry so much." I give him a broad smile as I pat his shoulder once more. "I'll be right back." 

He has sort of a dreamy look in his eyes, probably imagining himself as a grand leader of a whole nation or something. 

I'll take that as my que to go and find Dimitri.

Good thing he's hard not to see with that blonde hair of his. "Dimitri, I need to talk to you for a second." 

He was looking around before I called out, but as soon as he hears my voice, all of him is completely focused on me.

"Is- is everything alright?" His brows are furrowed.

Perhaps that wasn't the best way to start this conversation. Last time I needed to talk with him, I was about to end things with him after all.

I laugh first to try and ease his nerves a little. "Yeah, yeah. It's about our next course of action, since I doubt we'll be finding Dedue and Annette around here." 

He looks relieved at first, but then his eyebrows furrow again. "You don't think we'll find them anymore?" 

"No, wait, that's not what I said. Listen carefully. There's a very slim chance we'll find them if we keep following this river. But Ignatz said something I found pretty interesting, so I wanna share that with you first before I make a decision." 

I want to know if he misunderstood anything else before I continue. He has the tendency to hear something that worries him first, rather than staying positive and thinking about possible solutions.

He bites his lip, then nods at me. "Okay, tell me." 

How do I go about this… I don't want to have him thinking that finding Dedue and Annette isn't a priority anymore. 

"So, like I said, big chance we won't find Dedue and Annette around here. I don't really have a clue as to where we should search for them instead. So that's why I think we should follow Dedue's footsteps, which start outside this forest, where Sylvain last saw him. Maybe we can figure out what to do from there." 

"But isn't that… that infected out there? I don't know how to feel about your plan, Claude. I mean, it's a good idea, but the chance of losing someone else… it's too big. I don't know if I want to risk it." He shakes his head. 

He's right, I know he is. That infected is the sole thing that's stopping us from leaving this forest in the first place. 

But that only means there is something behind this forest! That infected is making sure no one gets past it, it has to be guarding something. 

"You're right. I don't want to risk it either. I mean, it's more a gamble than anything. But that infected… I'm sure it's protecting something. Something we aren't allowed to find. And that's exactly why we do need to get out there and find it." I don't know if this is enough to convince him. 

I noticed before that Dimitri seems to fail to see the bigger picture quite often. And that's not just Dimitri, there are more people here that struggle with seeing the benefits of taking risks for a greater good. 

Hilda, Lorenz, Leonie, Ingrid and even Linhardt… I need to find a way to convince them of this, even if it's dangerous.

We all agreed that we would find a way to destroy the magic, to free the infected. I can't have them turn their backs on me now.

"But is it really worth it? We don't even know if Dedue and Annette are still alive, or what that infected might be hiding. I'm just… Sorry. I don't know what to do." He sighs. It sounds as if he lost all hope. "Just lead us, Claude. You're much better at this than I am. But know that I'll follow you, wherever it is that you lead me." 

That means a lot to me. More than he could even think it does. Having someone who has my back, no matter what. That's exactly what I need. 

"Do you…" Fuck, why am I even considering this? "Do you think it could be a good idea to split up?" 

He looks at me like I'm crazy and I honestly think he's right. But if we split up, I won't have to put anyone in danger who doesn't want to follow me. This might be a suicide mission and the last thing I want is to force anyone to go down with me.

I could send a squad out of here, back towards the monastery, or even the village in the east. Everyone should know by now how to survive and kill infected. They should be okay. 

The rest of us could go to the other side and find that infected. Not to fight it, there should be a way to avoid fighting that thing. But I have a feeling it's protecting the source of magic and that's where we need to be.

Dimitri still looks incredulous. "You actually want to split up? Why?" 

I wonder if he'd understand my reasons. 

"Because I'm sure that not everyone is willing to put their lives on the line here. If they're not, they're going to hesitate with their actions, they'll start doubting themselves, each other, me, and they'll find reasons and excuses not to listen to orders they don't want to carry out. I can't have that. I'll need everyone's complete trust if I want to overcome this next challenge and I can already tell that I don't have it. Not from everyone here." 

"Are you willing to put your life on the line?" He asks. 

I look at the people around us. My friends. The only people that somewhat care about me, the only people I care about. The people that have their families worrying, grieving, waiting for them back inside the monastery. The people that have come so far, fought so hard. The people I've laughed with, argued with and cried with. The people I owe this to.

I won't let them down. Even if that means I might lose my own life. My life that doesn't have any meaning if I can't share it with these specific people.

"Yes. Yes, I'm willing to put my life on the line. I'm willing to do anything to save my friends." I've made up my mind. I'll even do it alone if I have to. 

He nods, then takes my hand. "Okay. Then I trust you. I trust you and I'll follow you, I promise." 

I squeeze his fingers. "Thank you, that means so incredibly much to me. But how do you feel about splitting up?" 

He looks thoughtful. "I… I'm having mixed feelings about that. Although, I think it would be best in the end. For both the group that continues on and the group that wants to stay behind." 

"Yeah, I thought so too. We'll have a meeting with everyone to talk this over. Worst case scenario, it'll be just the two of us, so keep that in mind." 

He smiles at me. "I don't even think I'd mind that so much." 

Stupid butterflies.

Would now be a good time to discuss it with everyone? I guess the longer we walk, the longer the way back for the others will be. 

That means now is a good time.

"Hey, guys? Wait up a second. Ignatz, stop walking!" I shout loud enough for Ignatz to be able to hear me all the way in the front.

Everyone's head turns towards me to hear what I have to say. 

Uhm… right. Speeches, definitely not my strong suit. 

"Okay, so I have something I need to talk to all of you about. Dimitri and I discussed this just now and we both agree that this would be the best course of action right now. We're going to search for Dedue and Annette outside of the forest. Yes, I'm aware of the superinfected that could kill us in less than a second."

I look at Sylvain as I say the last part. He looks surprised, but doesn't comment. I continue talking.

"But the fact that the infected is right there is enough reason to believe it's protecting something. Likely the source of magic we want to destroy. So now, I want to give all of you a choice. I want you to consider recent events, things that happened to you or your friends. I want you to consider all the possible outcomes of what we're trying to do. We might succeed, we might fail. We might not even come close. I want you to consider the values of your own lives, that of your friends' and your families'. I want you to consider your reasons for fighting. And I want you to consider your trust and faith in me. Keep all those things in mind when you make your decision." 

Dimitri squeezes my hand once more for support. It's amazing how great his timing is with this stuff.

I take a deep breath. "I'm letting you choose between continuing this journey with me, or leaving this forest right now and get to safety. You may choose whether you want to risk and fight for your life and your future, or if you'd rather leave it in someone else's hands. My hands. And I won't blame you if you choose the latter. I want you to choose what you think is right. If you doubt yourself, if you doubt me, please stay behind. If you think you can't make it, I'd rather you don't try at all. In any other situation, I'd support you and help you wherever I could, but not if your lives are at stake like they are now." 

This is it. After this, I'll know how high my chances are of succeeding. 

"I'm staying with Claude as well." Dimitri informs the others. "Whoever else wants to follow this through, please move away to the side so we can see who would rather leave. And like Claude said, we don't blame you for leaving. It's obviously going to be dangerous, but there's no pressure."

He doesn't elaborate on why he's decided to stay with me, but I'm sure it's showing with the way he's holding my hand and looking at me in adoration.

"Wait, we're seriously splitting up again?! I thought we learned from last time that splitting up is a stupid thing to do!" Lysithea runs her hands through her hair in a desperate motion. "You can't be serious, we already agreed that we'd see this through to the end, didn't we?" 

We did, but there wasn't any knowledge on some superinfected back when we made that agreement. 

"Yes, that's true," I tell her. "But the circumstances have changed. We found what we came in here for, we found Dimitri and we managed to prove our theory of the infected being controlled with magic. What I'm asking now is much more than that, so I want to properly give you all a chance to decide for yourselves." 

"Well, I said it before and I'll stick to it. I'm coming along." She raises her eyebrows at me to see if I dare refuse her.

I wouldn't though. I could use everyone who's willing to come along. 

"Thank you, Lysithea. It means a lot." 

I'm surprised she spoke up before Linhardt did, seems she's more independent than I gave her credit for.

"Are you sure it's okay if we don't come along..? I really want to help, but I'm scared I'll only be getting in your way." Hilda folds her hands with her eyes downcast.

"Yeah, that's okay. Like I said, this is your own decision." I really don't want her to feel bad about leaving us. 

I'm sure that now that Hilda's decided to stay behind, more will follow. I just can't feel disappointed now. I gave them the choice myself, I'll just have to suck it up.

Leonie decides to speak her mind as well. "I think I'd rather sit this one out too. I'm just not sure if I'm ready to give up my own life if we can't even be sure we'll succeed. I'm sorry, Claude, it's nothing personal." 

I nod. "I know, thank you." 

"I don't know how much I can do with just one arm," Raphael starts. "But I'm with you all the way, Claude! We split up before and that proved to be a mistake, I'm not about to make it again." 

Bless this guy. "Thank you, Raphael. I'm happy to hear that." 

"I'm coming along too. I still have a bone to pick with that infected." Felix raises his sword as he speaks.

"That's reassuring. Thank you." I just hope he can listen to tactics now, rather than charging ahead first thing.

"Thank you, Felix." Dimitri nods at him. 

"Wait, Felix. Did you think this through?" Ingrid grabs his arm. "I mean, we can still go back now before something bad happens again." 

"I will defeat this enemy. Not you or anyone else can stop me." 

"In that case…" Sylvain folds his hands behind his head. "I'll just come with you to make sure you won't do anything stupid again." He smiles and winks at Felix, who scowls at him in return.

"Just don't get in my way," Felix mutters.

I look at Dimitri and he looks incredibly happy that his friends have decided to come along as well.

I'm happy too. "Thanks, you guys. I'm glad you're coming." 

Sylvain nods at me. "It's time someone puts an end to this nightmare anyways. Might as well be us, right?" He nudges Ingrid with his elbow. 

She doesn't reply though. She's just looking unsure now and I know it's because she doesn't like or trust me. 

It's best she goes back with the others in that case. Better safe than sorry. 

So that makes six of us now. That's honestly a lot more than I expected at first. 

"I-I'm really sorry Claude… I don't think I'm suited for fighting a strong enemy like that. I hope you're not angry." 

I shake my head. "Not at all, Ignatz. I'm glad you don't feel pressured into following me. You need to do what you think is right." 

He nods, but still looks sad that he has decided this. Hilda puts a hand on his shoulder, which seems to make him feel a little bit better. 

"You don't have a healer yet." Linhardt notices. "Maybe Marianne will come with you." 

Mentioned girl looks up from where she'd been focusing on the ground. "Oh, uhm… I guess I could..." 

This guy. 

"Linhardt, what the hell?!" Lysithea hisses. "This should be Marianne's choice, you can't just tell her what to do! Why don't you come with us, huh?" 

Well, she's kinda putting pressure on him herself now. But she's right, Marianne shouldn't have to come along because Linhardt doesn't want to.

"Marianne, this is your own decision. You don't have to come along for our sake, do it for your own." I doubt she'll go back on her word, but you never know.

She looks insecure. "No, it's okay. Y-you need a healer. I'll come with you…" 

I nod. "Only if you're sure about it. We haven't left yet, so you can still change your mind." 

I'm a bit scared to take her with me. She doesn't have a way to defend herself if something were to go wrong. But I guess that same goes for Linhardt too. 

"Ahem, Claude? It seems I'm coming along myself, so Marianne doesn't have to come anymore." Linhardt looks annoyed as he says it, but at least Lysithea has a triumphant smile on her face. 

Seems Linhardt has a weakness for her. That little devil.

"Are you certain about that?" 

"Yes, he is." Lysithea answers for him. 

It just makes me laugh. "Lysithea, this is his decision, just like your own decision was yours or anyone else's was theirs." 

Linhardt yawns before he answers. "Yes, I'm sure. Marianne should go with Hilda and the others to make sure they have a healer with them as well." 

Lysithea's smile doesn't falter, so I'll just believe them both. 

"Thank you, Linhardt. That's very kind of you." I bet it took a lot of courage, especially for Linhardt. I'm sure he'd rather go back to a safer place as soon as he can.

I'm just waiting for Lorenz now. I think I already know what he'll decide, but I'll wait for him anyway.

"I'm guessing that leaves just me then." Lorenz actually looks unsure of what to do. 

I walk towards him. "Hey, Lorenz. I know that we didn't always get along, but I know you meant well.-" 

He's about to interrupt and protest, but I shush him. 

"Go with Hilda and them. They need someone who can lead them, and I don't know who could be a better fit for the job." 

He blinks at me. "Excuse me, did you forget what happened to Raphael? Under my lead, at that? I didn't even do anything," he whispers.

"Yes, I know. But you know better now. You know the dangers and you know your people. I have faith in you, Lorenz." 

Does this count as pressuring? I'm sure it does, but I need him right now. I need him to lead the others back safely.

Determination and a hint of arrogance returns to his features. "Well, if you're begging me like this, who am I to refuse? I'm sure I'll do a much better job than you." I roll my eyes. Does he ever change?  
"Just make sure you return to see it." He adds softly before he puts a hand on my shoulder. "We have faith in you too." 

"Thank you, Lorenz. I'm counting on you." 

"Is this goodbye? Please don't tell me this is goodbye…" Hilda's eyes have tears in them.

Ignatz squeezes his eyes shut, presumably to prevent any tears from falling. "I wish we could stay together. Please make sure you guys come back. Please." 

I walk over to both of them to give them a hug. "I can't guarantee we'll come back safely, but I'll do everything in my power to try. I promise." 

"Grouphug!" Sylvain announces loudly before I can feel more than a few bodies being pressed up against mine. 

This reminds me of the time I told my Deer about my past. How far we've come since then. 

I can't even describe how proud I am. They deserve the best lives they can get, so that's what I'll fight for. 

. 

I can only watch as Lorenz explains some of his rules to his small group before they head out. 

"And we are not, and I cannot express this enough, not going more than two days without washing. If any of you stink, we're washing up immediately." 

I shake my head with a sad smile. I seriously can't believe this guy. 

Dimitri comes to stand next to me, watching the others make their preparations. "Looks like we can start our own journey as well." 

"Yeah, looks like it." I don't like this feeling. 

I feel like I'm about to make a terrible decision by letting them leave. Whether it's bad for us or them, I'm not sure of. 

"You okay?" He asks while putting his arm around my middle.

"No." 

He pulls me closer to him and kisses my temple. "Have faith in them. We have other things to focus on." 

"Yeah, you're right." 

The sight of them leaving does some weird things to me. I try hard to swallow the lump in my throat as they wave their goodbyes at us.

Nevertheless, I wave back at them.

"Please be safe," I whisper.

Dimitri kisses my head once more. "Shall we go as well?" 

I want nothing more than to go back with Lorenz, back to a place where we're safe and we can mess and play around with each other for endless hours.

"Yeah, we'll go too." 

I kiss his cheek as an appreciation for his comfort before I turn around to face my new, much smaller group.

Felix, Raphael, Sylvain, Lysithea, Linhardt, Dimitri and myself. We'll succeed. For everyone's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!


	28. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellohello everyone
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!! It's sort of filler, but I really enjoyed writing it so 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and leaving comments and kudos, it means so much to me :)

"Why did I agree to come along again? This is suicide."

Linhardt's been complaining since we headed out and it's starting to get on my nerves a bit.

"Because you owe your life to me and so you need to listen to whatever I say now," Lysithea repeats.

Linhardt just sighs, again. 

I wonder how many times they're going to repeat this exact scene.

"I don't wanna be annoying, but I'm kinda hungry." Raphael rubs his stomach with his right hand.

Ugh, that too. 

When we reach a small clearing, Dimitri turns to me. "Should we make a camp and rest for today? We still have plenty of time and daylight now to start foraging and collecting food." 

That sounds like a good idea. Linhardt looks like he's about to pass out from exertion anyway. 

I nod. "Yeah, sounds great. I'll try and get a fire going in the meantime." 

He nods as well before he turns to Felix and Sylvain to discuss something with them.

I remember Dimitri saying he and his Lions have knowledge on foods around here, so I'll leave that to the three of them. 

Sylvain then approaches me. "Hey, Claude? Can you maybe make a fire before we head out? You know, so we can find our way back." 

"Yeah, sure. I'll start right away." 

It's a bit weird, being back to a small group of just seven people. I'll have to make sure to take that into account when I start delegating tasks.

I can't send away too many people at once and I need to be careful with who exactly I'm sending out as well. This could prove to be tricky.

Nevertheless, I'm still happy that they're coming along. I never expected this many, so I won't complain about a thing. 

I guess it's time to start thinking of a plan now to avoid that infected and still get to where we need to be.

A sword like a whip… That's dangerous. That means it has a longer reach than someone with a regular sword. We need to be sure to keep our distance while fighting, which is terribly difficult given I only have two magic users and only myself who's experienced with a bow.

And the magic attack needs to be immense if it even wants to have any effect at all.

I absentmindedly grab some rocks to lay around the fire pit to-be before I pile up some branches in the middle. This should be big enough. 

I sprinkle some of the oil I brought over the wood to hurry the burning process along. 

I'm actually damn nervous. From what I know, Lysithea is the only one who could cast one of her deadly spells on that infected to take it down. But she's going to need time for that. I don't know how much time we'll have once we're engaged in a fight with that monster. 

Maybe someone could act as a decoy to distract it. It could work, but how long could they keep up the act without getting hurt, or worse, dying? 

Somehow Dedue managed to do that, but I wasn't there to see how he did it and I doubt Sylvain has any more information than he already told me.

Maybe Felix can tell me more about it. He fought that thing up close after all. 

"Hey, Felix?" I turn to where the Lions were before, but there's no one there anymore. "Oh." 

"They left just a few seconds ago. Raphael went with them as well, since, you know, food. And you were too lost in thought to even respond to your lover calling out to you, let alone notice them leaving." Lysithea smirks at me.

How did I not hear anything? Hm. I don't really like that. Dimitri could've at least kissed me before he went.

Just thinking about his kisses gives me butterflies. 

"Ah. Guess I'll have to wait then." 

I just wish I could write some things down to remember them easier. Too bad Ignatz took all his art stuff with him.

She shrugs. "So, what should we do now? I hope we're not just going to sit around here and wait for them to come back. Can't we start preparing anything for what's to come?" 

"Yeah, I agree." Linhardt yawns. "Maybe we can already think out some sort of plan so I can go to sleep sooner." 

Lysithea rolls her eyes at that, but she still has a fond smile on her face. 

How cute. 

When she catches me looking at her, she immediately contorts her face into something that's supposed to look annoyed.

"I saw that," I tell her with a laugh.

She sticks out her tongue at me, but she can't hide the faint blush that's starting to color her usually pale cheeks. 

"Saw what?" Linhardt asks, but Lysithea immediately makes sure I stay quiet before she tells Linhardt it's nothing to worry about. 

She's very silly if she thinks that neither I, nor Linhardt notices her blush getting darker.

"Ugh, why did I decide to come along again?" She crosses her arms with a pout.

"You're so weird sometimes," Linhardt accuses her.

"Like you're one to talk!" She counters quickly. "Weirdo." 

"Okay, kids. Stop fighting." I receive a glare from Lysithea and an unimpressed look from Linhardt, but that doesn't deter me. "Let's just think of a plan, okay?" 

"Yes, that's fine. Perhaps we could set a perimeter first though. So that we don't have to look out for infected too much," Linhardt clarifies.

Good idea. "Yeah, I'll get to it right now." 

Lysithea takes her sword out of its holder before she starts helping me with untangling the ropes.

It would have been better to keep Raphael around with us, I realize now. There's only so much Lysithea can do with a sword, and I don't even have any close-range weapons on me. 

If any infected stumbles along, we're pretty fucked. 

Good thing evening is nearing, so we won't have to worry about infected for long. And that just brings me on a fantastic idea.

"Hey, Linhardt?" 

He was literally already dozing off before I called out to him. He jumps awake. "You called?" 

"You're kidding me," Lysithea mutters under her breath.

I chuckle. "Linhardt, what do you think about leaving the forest while it's dark? Do you think we could avoid the infected that way?" 

He thinks about it for a small while, so I get back to untangling the ropes as I wait for his answer.

"Couldn't you have rolled these up properly instead of just stuffing them in your bag?" Lysithea grumbles.

"Sorry, my bad." I laugh softly. "Thanks for your help though." 

She looks up from the rope to smile at me before she gets back to untangling the knots.

"Thank you for all that you're doing for us," she tells me. "Removing some knots from a rope is nothing compared to that." 

I can't say I share her vision. I mean, now that she says it, it does seem a bit silly to thank her for it. But I never even expected any thanks for what I'm doing to begin with. 

All I want is to put an end to this whole madness. 

"I think," Linhardt starts, "that leaving while it's dark could work, but it's still more dangerous than leaving in broad daylight. Simply because we need light to see where we're going and where the infected is. And you know what happened last time when we brought light to an infected." 

The memory of Lorenz burning off the skin of that elderly woman's face is something I don't think I'll soon forget, if ever.

"Yeah, that's true." What he says makes sense.

If we had some sort of knowledge on what the area is like outside this forest, things would already be much simpler. But we don't, so we do need light to see where we're going. 

"Can't we like, hide within the trees to scan the area while there's light, then wait until it's dark, and then make our move? Maybe we could pass through without having to use a torch," Lysithea suggests.

What intellectuals we are.

Linhardt nods. "That's certainly a possibility, we'll just decide on what to do depending on what we see there." 

"I don't think it'll be long before we've reached the edge or the forest." I sigh. "Damn, it would have been better if we could just continue on now, rather than spend the night here and wasting the majority of a day tomorrow." 

"True. But we can't continue without the others, so we don't really have a choice now," Lysithea ponders aloud while removing the last knot from the rope.

As I stand up to start tying the rope around a tree, a drop of water lands on my cheek. 

No damn way. 

I look up and the sky is filled with dark, gray clouds, waiting to fully unload their contents.

Just great, exactly what we need right now.

I guess the good weather couldn't last forever. But now is really not a good time for rain. We don't even have any tents, since the other group took Ingrid's and Dimitri's with them.

The drops are falling at a quicker rate now, resulting in a full out rainstorm.

"Linhardt, protect the fire!" Lysithea yells at him.

As unbelievable as I may think it is, the guy was actually dozing off again.

"And stop sleeping, do you want to die?!" She adds.

Linhardt doesn't even respond to her. He simply yawns before he gets up to start searching for something he could use to cover the fire with.

I just hope he'll make it in time. Dimitri and them need the fire to guide them back to our small camp.

.

After Lysithea and I successfully set up our perimeter, we decide to hide from the rain by sitting in the bushes.

Linhardt unfortunately couldn't prevent the fire from going out. This is shitty. Not only will it be harder for Dimitri to find his way back to us, the rain is soaking everything in water. I'd be surprised if I can make another fire later with all the firewood getting wet.

I hope the other group is doing okay. I wanted to give them as much of my items as possible to make sure they'd be okay, but they wouldn't accept anything. Not even the fishing rod.

I told them to keep following the river until they're out of the forest to make sure they won't get lost. I really hope Lorenz will listen to that, despite his instincts seeming to tell him that everything I say is a no-go.

We, on the other hand, have strayed from the river. Sylvain said that he didn't see any river when they got out of the forest before, so I'm not risking it. Although it would have been nice to have a source of water that isn't rain near us.

Lysithea sighs. "I hope the rain will let up soon." 

"I hope I can sleep soon." Linhardt sighs as well.

"I hope Dimitri will bring back something good to eat." Fruit or something. I'm craving something sweet after bland ration food for so long.

We're sitting in the bushes, lined up next to each other, just staring at the raindrops falling down and hitting the soil.

"Do you think he'll find cake somewhere?" Lysithea asks.

"I'd like cake." Linhardt says. "It's been so long." 

"Too long," Lysithea sighs again.

"You should go on a cake date together," I propose. 

I'm not fully prepared for the consequences, but I just can't help myself. These two should just get it together already.

If by doing that, they can feel the same way I do when I'm with Dimitri, I hope they can be together real soon. They deserve it.

"W-what are you saying?!" Lysithea demands. "You're being absolutely ridiculous!" 

I'm not looking at her directly, but I can see the appearance of a pretty pink color on her face from the corner of my eye.

"Oh, and Dimitri finding cake in the middle of a forest isn't ridiculous?" I smirk to myself. 

She's too easy to tease. What a delight.

"I can dream! And I don't even want to go on a date with him." She points at Linhardt, who's sitting on her other side.

Ouch. That was blunt.

"And what about you, Linhardt? Wouldn't you like to go on a date with Lysithea?" 

I know Linhardt doesn't get flustered easily, if he does at all. But I'd like to know how he feels about Lysithea. If I could just nudge him in the right direction…

"Claude, stop! This is harassment, harassment I tell you!" Lysithea is still sputtering protests, making it hard for me to hear Linhardt's answer.

"Lysithea, I'm not harassing you. In fact, I asked Linhardt this question, not you." 

She huffs angrily before she puts both her hands on her cheeks to hide their color. 

Maybe she's interested in his answer too. 

"So, Linhardt?" I ask. 

"If it's to eat cake, I don't really care who I'm with." 

That won't do.

"And what if it's not to eat cake? Just a regular date?" 

Lysithea looks at me with a look that says exactly that I need to shut up, but I decide to ignore that for the greater good.

"I don't want to go on regular dates. That's such a waste of precious napping time." 

Precious napping time? Is this guy for real? 

"You'd rather nap than spend time with a girl you like?" 

"Yes. Very much so," he answers.

I don't miss how he doesn't deny that there's a girl he likes. But that still means he'd rather nap than spend time with her.

That's bothersome. How will I ever get them together? The guy would rather sleep than do literally anything else and the girl is in the biggest denial phase in existence.

How did other couples get together? Let's see, Dimitri and Edelgard got together through social pressure. I could do that, but me alone isn't going to cut it. And Dimitri and I…

That reminds me, he does need to break up with Edelgard when we see her again. If he doesn't, I don't want to continue with him. 

But Dimitri and I got together because of his feelings mainly. And because of Hilda and Lorenz' obnoxious teasing. 

Teasing it is then!

"So does that mean there's a girl you like?" 

Lysithea turns to me and I'm scared for her neck with how fast the movement is. "Claude, that's literally none of your business! Stop your nonsense already, we have bigger things to worry about here." 

Why wouldn't she want to know? This is for her own sake too. And it's not like there's much else we can do here in these bushes.

"I think I like a girl, yes," Linhardt confirms. "But I don't want to act on it. Too much work for what it's worth." 

Is he kidding? I can't help but think about the warmth Dimitri gives me, the butterflies and the goosebumps and all the happiness I feel when I only think of him. And Linhardt just decided that that's not worth the trouble? 

I'm about to start lecturing him when Lysithea shushes me.

"Did you hear that just now?" 

I focus my hearing, but all I hear is the splattering of the raindrops where they land on the leaves of the plants around us.

"No?" I look around. 

"No, the cans! Listen closely." She takes hold of my arm to keep me from moving.

I prick up my ears and through the soothing sound of rainfall, I can actually hear the clinging sound of cans rattling together.

She looks at me. "Do you think that's..?" 

An infected? Likely. 

"Yeah, I'll go check it out. Give me your sword." I stick out my hand so Lysithea can put the handle of her sword in it. 

"Wait, don't you need help?" She yells at me after I got up and crossed the small clearing towards the sound of the cans.

"No, I'll be fine! Stay with Linhardt, he's asleep!" I noticed just now when I looked back at her. 

Seriously, how does he do that? 

I can barely hear her react to that before I enter the trees again.

Why again didn't I take her with me? I need to reconsider my brain capacities one of these days.

I slowly creep towards the noises the cans are making. If I'm lucky, it's an unfortunate animal that accidentally got stuck in the ropes. If I'm not, which is much more likely, I'll be fighting for my life once more. 

And, of course I'm not lucky. Good thing I expect nothing else from the God of Fortune.

An infected has gotten its arm tangled in the rope and with every movement it makes to try and free itself, the cans start clanking. 

Okay, this shouldn't be hard. I'll just cut off its head with one quick motion. That oughta do it.

I approach full of suspense, keeping my guard up for any unpredicted movements from this dead young man.

"I'm sorry you died so young," I tell him before I step out of the perimeter. "But I'm about to kill you again, so I'm sorry for that too." 

It looks at me and snarls, or at least it looks and sounds like a snarl, before it tries to reach for me with its free arm. Which, by the way, is completely covered in blood. 

I quickly try to determine which direction this one came from. If it's from the direction Lorenz left in, I'll be fearing the worst.

Amazingly, I am lucky enough to discover that the direction it came from is probably the edge of the forest and not where Lorenz went.

The edge of the forest, where we're headed.

But then whose blood is it? I guess there isn't really a way for me to find out right now.

I lift the sword to prepare for a diagonal slash, but the movement catches the infected's eye. It has far more reach than I expected and it lunges straight towards my arms with its free hand, grabbing whatever is closest, which is inconveniently my left arm and pulls on it. I somehow manage to keep the sword in my right hand, but I don't have nearly the strength or sense of aim in my right arm.

It's pulling hard on my limb, causing my whole body to move from the motion as well. This is bad. 

I swing the sword down once, but as I thought, I can't aim well like this. The sword barely manages to hit the elbow of its free arm, and it's not at all enough for it to let go of my own arm. I pull on it desperately to get loose, but the infected is already making an effort to lock its jaws into my wrist.

Ah, fuck. Not this again.

If only the coordination in my right hand was a bit better. 

Quickly, I reposition the sword in my hold so I can use it to stab the infected with. It works somewhat, but I can't prevent its rotten teeth from sinking into my skin, in my left lower arm this time.

Fuck me, that hurts like shit. 

I hope dearly that it didn't bite through any veins, but seeing how much blood comes out of my wound, I don't have many doubts that it did.

Once more, I use the sword to stab it. I hit its throat this time. Its head is crooked to a side now because of my efforts, but it's still not going down.

And it's still munching happily on my skin. A few groaning sounds escape its throat, as if it's delighted with the taste of my blood on its tongue. 

The red liquid is dripping down all over my arm, onto the soil underneath the infected's shoeless feet. 

Those are some gross toes, I can give him that.

The sight is making me slightly dizzy, whether that's from real blood loss or just the thought of it, I can't say for sure.

What I am sure of, is that I need to take this thing down quickly. I feel like I jinxed this for myself by telling the thing I'd kill it. 

Stupid me, I should know better. 

What the fuck do I do now? I can't sever its spinal cord like this, my own arm is thoroughly in the way.

I try pulling on my left arm to hopefully get it out of its jaws, but it only results in the infected digging is teeth even deeper into my soft flesh.

"Hnng..!" Shit, this is even worse than that wrist accident before. 

"L-Lysithea! Fuck... Help me!" Calling out to her is definitely not the brightest idea I've had, but I don't know how much longer I can keep up the struggle before I pass out. 

Now I know my dizziness is definitely from the loss of blood. My vision is getting blurry and dark and black spots are making their appearance at a high frequency.

To make things even better, I accidentally drop the sword on the ground. Where's my dagger..? 

I feel around my waist, but it's not there. I must have put it back in my bag before I jumped into the water. 

Yup, this is my last fight. Lysithea has no way of helping me and neither does Linhardt. I really should have kept Raphael around.

My mother's words echo in my mind. 'Your own life is more important than anyone else's.'

Why couldn't I follow that? Why couldn't I listen to my own mother's last words? 

This is going to be the end of me, and what have I accomplished? Nothing. I did nothing. 

And to be killed by a dead infected at that. All I had to do was cut through its legs to safely immobilize it and cut it down, but no, I had to try to decapitate it at once like Hilda did with hers. 

I failed everyone. It's only been a few hours since my amazing speech where I ensured that we'd try and destroy the magic and here I am, dying already. 

At least I got a rainy moment, that adds to the dramatic effect. 

Wait, I'll turn if I die. 

As well as I can with the infected gnawing on a new patch of previously unhurt skin on my arm, I kick the sword away into the trees somewhere. 

At least that's out of my reach now, in case I really won't make it. It's a surreal thought, dying. But I can't make more of the situation than the truth.

I close my eyes to prepare myself for what's to come. Or because it's an immense effort to keep them open. 

My arm hurts terribly. The infected is still biting and gnawing away at the mutilated limb. Can I even do anything anymore? 

I just start punching and kicking it with all my might, but it doesn't even have any effect. It doesn't feel any pain at all. I pull once more at my arm to try and free it, which only leads to my skin getting ripped open even further.

How in the world did I fuck up this bad? This should have been an easy peasy target, it was stuck for fuck's sake! 

This is what I get for letting my guard down. One mistake and you're out, that's how simple it is. And I made mine just now. 

I'm so close to just giving up. What else can I do? It's only a matter of seconds before this infected decides its stomach is filled with arm and goes for ripping out my throat instead.

I feel awful. And that's a severe understatement. 

"Claude! Hang in there, Dimitri's close!" Lysithea's voice somehow pierces through my eardrums. 

Dimitri? Dimitri… Is he coming to save me? Please save me. 

I barely get to blink before the infected's head is literally stricken off of its shoulders. My poor arm gets whacked to the side along with the head, causing my shoulder to get dislocated.

Ouchies. 

Its body slumps down onto the ground, revealing a panting and very scary looking rain soaked Dimitri. He has an extremely dark look in his eyes which I can only describe as furious and even that seems like an understatement.

"Dima, hurts..." My mouth can barely form the words, but I need to let him know I need help, now.

My arm, which is finally freed, is just hanging now. I can't move it because of my shoulder but I need to stop the bleeding. My dizziness isn't letting up and I doubt it will soon. I got a pair of trembling legs barely keeping my body upright and the pain overall is unbearable. 

He notices my limp bleeding arm immediately and approaches me quickly, stepping over the body in a hurry.

"Oh, Claude, how could this happen?" He asks me with a worried look. 

Every hint of darkness I saw in his eyes before has been replaced by something kinder, something much softer than when he arrived.

"Dima," I whisper in a whiny tone.

"Shh, come here, let me help you." He takes a gentle hold on my painful arm to put pressure on the still bleeding wound. 

"Linhardt! Linhardt, we need help!" He yells before he turns back to me. "It's going to be okay, just look at me. Claude? Please keep your eyes open for me, okay?" 

The hand that isn't holding my arm is gently resting on my cheek to hold my face up. 

I can hear him, but it's so hard to do as he says. I want to keep my eyes open for him, even though they feel so damn heavy. 

"Dima," I whisper again. 

"I'm here. I'm right here, I'll protect you." He kisses my forehead gently before he tries to get me to look at him again.

I can't keep this up. I need to rest. 

My knees give out under me for no apparent reason other than exhaustion. Luckily Dimitri is strong and quick enough to catch me before I collapse to the ground. 

"Linhardt, now please!" Dimitri tries again. "Hold on to me, here." 

He guides my right arm around his neck for better grip on my upper body before he hooks his other arm under my knees, in doing so, he has to let go of my hurt arm.

With one fluent motion, he lifts me up. My knees and I are extremely grateful for that. I rest my head against his shoulder before I close my eyes once more. 

I know I won't open them again for a long time, but at least I lose my consciousness while getting to feel Dimitri's warmth.

.

"He feels really warm. Linhardt, what does that mean?" Dimitri's voice sounds from above me.

Ugh, I feel like shit. I don't want to open my eyes ever again. At least my throbbing head is lying on a soft surface.

"His wound is likely infected. That, combined with the cold of the rain, has probably caused a fever," Linhardt replies. "His health was fine before, so I don't think it's fatal. I hope." 

I was saved. What a miracle. 

A warm, somewhat rough hand is gently stroking my hair. 

That feels so good.

"Mm, keep doing that," I murmur.

A chuckle before the hand moves to stroke my cheek instead. "Hey you. I'm glad you're awake." 

That sounds like Dimitri.

I hum in response. "Hi handsome." 

"You're so cute," he whispers fondly. "How are you feeling?" 

"I'm definitely not feeling cute," I grumble. "Hey, what's for dinner?" 

Dimitri chuckles again. "We found different kinds of edible plants and nuts. I think Linhardt was preparing some sort of medicine for you though, so no dinner for you until you've had some of that." 

"Didn't you find any cake?" I'm honestly a little disappointed. 

"Claude, stop about the cake already!" Lysithea's irritated tone of voice makes me laugh.

"Hey, Lysithea?" I start. 

"Yes?" 

"Don't you feel weird being the only girl?" 

It takes a few seconds before I even get a reply, but it's hard to make out any words from the stuttering and the sputtering.

"Ha, gotcha." I laugh to myself. 

"I'll comfort you if you want," Sylvain proposes to Lysithea.

"N-no need, thank you very much!" Lysithea retorts.

She's so funny. Funny girl.

"Hey, Dima?" I ask. 

He hums. "Yes, love?" 

"Do you mind if I call you that?" Even my thoughts are blurry, I have no idea what I'm even saying. 

He huffs a laugh. "Not at all. I actually find it very endearing." 

His hand is back to stroking my hair and I sigh of contentment.

I can't suppress the yawn that tries to make its way out of my mouth before I reply. "That's great." 

"Don't sleep yet, you still have to take the medicine," Dimitri reminds me.

"Is it cake?" I hope it's cake. 

"No, but I'll get you a cake one day." 

"When?" Maybe tomorrow. That'd be nice.

"...Hopefully on our wedding day," he whispers. He sounds a little embarrassed.

"Tomorrow?" 

He chuckles fondly. "No, that's too soon. You'll see when that day comes, I promise." 

"Dimitri, can you sit him up for a second so I can give him this?" Linhardt asks.

Dimitri jumps up a little, probably because Linhardt scared him by intruding on our conversation. 

I can't hold back my laugh at that. "Dima, you scare so easily." 

He chuckles along with me. "I wasn't expecting that, that's all." 

His body moves a bit before I feel both his hands make their way to my armpits. 

"Oh, stop. That tickles." I try to wriggle away from his grasp, but he's still obviously stronger than me. 

"Claude, please. Hold still for a second, I don't want to aggravate your wounds." 

After struggling for a few seconds, he finally manages to sit me upright. Bummer, I wanted a tickle fight. 

"Are you ticklish?" I ask Dimitri. 

"Is it normal for him to be acting this way?" I can hear Dimitri ask. 

If I were thinking straight, I'd understand he's asking Linhardt. But I'm not, so I answer him instead.

"No, he needs to start getting his shit together already. Linhardt, get your shit together and ask Lysithea out. She's sitting there, begging for your affections. Why can't you see that?" 

"C-Claude! Oh my god, stop already!" Lysithea sounds more flustered than I ever heard her before. 

Amazing. 

"Actually, somewhat. I mean, I don't know how his body responds to certain things, including fevers. He completely slept through his last one, so it's possible he'll do that again. Either way, we'll be stuck here until he's better." Linhardt is so smart. 

"Boy, you're so smart. Have I ever said that before?" I hope I did, he deserves to know.

"I'm aware of my intellect, but thank you." 

Good. That's good. 

"Can I leave this to you, Dimitri?" Linhardt asks. 

Ah, he mentions Dimitri's name to prevent more confusion from happening. A smart move from a smart guy.

"Yes, I got it. Thank you. Claude, could you open your mouth for a bit?" Dimitri's voice is so close to my ear. 

"I don't know if I'm ready yet, so please go easy on me." 

"N-no Claude, it's just medicine!" Dimitri sputters. "I'm only feeding you medicine, so please just open up." 

"That's a weird way to call your little Dima, but whatever works for you." I do as he says and open my mouth. 

"I don't call it that, and please don't call it that either." He says while feeding me some sort of substance. 

As soon as it touches my tongue and I taste the bitterness of it, I spit it right out again. What's he trying to do, poison me? I'm not falling for that.

"Please don't spit it out. You have to swallow it. Let's try that again, okay? Open up." Dimitri is chiding me as if I'm a child. How cute. 

I open my mouth again, expecting him to feed me something else for no apparent reason. He obviously gives me the same disgusting fluid again, so I repeat my own reaction again too and spit it right out.

"I don't like this one," I decide. "Don't you have anything better?" 

He sighs shortly before he answers. "I do have something better, but you have to swallow this first." 

"Will you promise to be gentle though?" 

"That isn't what I meant! Just please swallow the medicine. You'll feel better." 

"Can't you make me feel good without this medicine?" I whine.

He makes some sort of squeeky sound. "M-maybe another time, you need medicine right now, so please take it." 

"Fine, I'll take it like the good boy I am," I say before I open my mouth once more. 

He swallows loudly before he tries once more to feed me the medicine. 

I manage to keep it in my mouth for about three whole seconds before I spit it out again. 

"Nope, still gross." 

"If you think that's gross already," Sylvain tells me, "you may wanna rethink the little Dima thing." 

"Why did I come along again?!" Lysithea demands.

"For the chance of getting to meet little Linny," I answer. 

Despite being flustered to no end, Dimitri still laughs about my joke. It makes me feel really proud.

"Just take the medicine already," Linhardt orders. 

Did I fluster him too? I'm on a roll! 

"Did you hear that?" I ask Dimitri. "I flustered Linhardt." 

He chuckles. "Yes, I heard. Did you hear? You should take the medicine." 

He kisses my cheek before he tries once more. 

"If I take this, will you kiss me again? Properly, I mean." That's a great motivator anyway. 

"Of course. I'll kiss you whenever you want me to." 

"No!" Lysithea shouts. "Dimitri, don't say that, he'll never take the medicine that way!" 

"Ah, sorry. I'll only kiss you if you swallow it, okay?" He's terrible at being authoritative, but I suppose I'll play along.

I nod and open my mouth again. I'll just swallow it this time. It can't be that bad, right? 

The substance enters my mouth once more and it takes a lot of effort to not spit it out again. I begrudgingly swallow it. 

"Thank you," Dimitri tells me before he kisses my cheek again. 

"That was disgusting. I deserve a kiss now." 

He chuckles fondly. "Yes you do. Turn my way for a second?" 

I oblige him again and I don't even have time to close my eyes before I feel his lips on mine. 

How I've longed for this in my subconsciousness. 

My neck is honestly at an awkward angle and I can feel my muscles stretching in a very unnatural way, but the kiss is perfect either way. 

He pulls away for a second. "I was so scared when Lysithea screamed for us. Good thing we were already pretty close." 

He leans back in to kiss my lips once more, but before he can, I lick over his lips all the way to his nose. 

"Here's a taste of your own medicine," I say before I laugh loudly. "Get it?" 

He snorts. He actually snorts and it makes me feel all sorts of happy. 

"Yeah, I get it. But I don't have any working tastebuds, so I can't say it bothers me." 

What the fuck. That just completely ruined my joke. 

I start sulking. "Wow, you ruined it." 

"I'm sorry," he says before he kisses my nose and pecks my lips. "I can't really help it, but I'd fix that if I could." 

"That doesn't really change anything." I still mean to sulk, but he's making it difficult for me to keep up the act.

"I'm hungry," I whine. 

He nods and kisses my lips once again before he tries to break apart. "I'll get you something." 

"No wait," I protest. "I just recovered, don't leave me." 

Another long lasting kiss against my lips makes me want to just melt in his arms. "I'll be right back. And you need to rest anyways so you can feel better soon." 

"I'm already feeling better! Much, much better in fact! Stay with me, please." I give him the puppiest eyes I can muster, but from the looks of it, they're not working. 

"Your health is important to me. I already feel bad enough for leaving you here before, so please let me take care of you now." 

"Alright, fine." I know I'm being a little bit unreasonable, but he's allowed to know how much I enjoy his attention. Maybe he'll give me more if I keep up this behavior.

"Thank you," he says before he kisses my lips. 

He gently moves me off his lap before he gets up to gather some food he can give me. 

I only just noticed the rain has stopped. Also the sky is dark. How long have I been out of it this time?

It couldn't have been more than a couple hours and no one is asleep yet, so hopefully not that long. 

I try to stretch my arms, but that proves a very painful reminder of previous happenings. The pain in my shoulder makes me wince, while the hurting in my lower arm makes me want to scream out in agony. 

I barely keep myself together, but tears burn in my eyes nonetheless. 

It's best that I won't try that anymore. My left arm is wrapped in clothing rags, the ones around the lower half are covered in a deep red color. 

But hey, I made it. Not through my own efforts, but that's only a small detail. I'm still alive and almost ready to take on the world again.

First, I need to sleep. Lots and lots. Conveniently enough, it just so happens that I'm extremely tired. 

"Ah Claude, don't fall asleep just yet. Drink some water first." Dimitri approaches me with a water sack and small bits of foods I don't recognize easily.

"Can I sleep on you again then?" I ask him.

He smiles at me sweetly before he joins me again. "Of course you can. I wasn't planning on letting you sleep here in the mud." 

He holds the water sack close to my lips so I can take a sip. God, I needed that. I gulp down the water as if my life depends on it, which it kinda does.

Dimitri chuckles at me before he takes the sack from my hands to replace it with a bowl filled with some cooked leaves with nuts of some sort. 

"Here, have some. You don't have to finish all of it, as long as you eat a bit." 

Is it bad for me to love being fussed over like this? I'll be sick forever if that means I'll have Dimitri taking care of me the whole time.

I take the bowl from him and start eating. The food isn't particularly tasty, but it's something. 

"Where are Felix and Raphael?" I ask inbetween bites.

He looks sorry as he answers. "They went hunting for small animals. I hope you don't mind…"

"Just make sure I'm asleep when they come back." I can't help the bitterness in my voice. 

I know it's not Dimitri's fault and I also know that I can't prevent anyone from doing their own thing. 

I sigh. "Sorry. You didn't deserve that." 

He smiles at me as he tucks a bit of hair behind my ear. "Don't apologize for what you stand for. I know how much it means to you to be vegetarian, so I don't blame you for getting upset." 

This guy, what did I ever do to deserve him? 

I kiss his cheek and I make sure it lasts a moment before I pull back. "You're the best, I hope you know that. And if you don't, I'm gonna need to try a little harder to make it clear to you." 

"Hmm, I do believe there are people out there that are better than myself." He smiles. "You, for example." 

God damn it, and here I thought he wouldn't be able to counter that so easily. I guess it's hard to up-one a guy who pretty much lives for romance.

An unexpected yawn makes itself known through my mouth. 

"Let's get some rest, hm? I'll watch over you." He gestures for me to lie my head on his lap again, so that's what I do. 

Well, as much as I can myself with my painful arm. He assists me where I need it until I'm comfortable and settled between his legs with my head resting on his stomach.

I sigh happily when I feel his hand playing with my hair again. 

"You guys are so sappy, I feel like I'm watching one of those terrible novels come to life here." Sylvain laughs loudly. 

"You're just jealous and upset that Felix isn't a sappy person." And with that, Sylvain is silenced, Dimitri is chuckling at my comment and now I can get some sleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we're finally at 100k words!! HOORAY
> 
> I never thought I'd make it this far, but thank you all for staying long enough to have this amazing moment with me


	29. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY TWO MONTHS AND ONE DAY ANNIVERSARY TO MY FIC
> 
> I'm the worst, sorry fic 
> 
> Anyways, I was sent home from work today bc of high temperature, thankfully it's likely from allergies, but I'll be home for a few days which means more frequent chapters hehehehe 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy this one! :)

After I open my eyes, I'm finding myself completely alone. I'm surrounded by plants and trees, but there's nobody around. 

Weird, where'd everyone go?

I want to call out to someone, but I find myself being unable to use my voice for some reason. 

What the fuck? 

Now that I realize it, there are no sounds whatsoever. Everything is completely still; no wind is blowing, no birds are singing…

What in the world is going on? Am I dreaming? 

I look up to sky. As soon as I do, the sun disappears and it turns night in the blink of an eye. 

The forest around me suddenly seems much scarier than before.

Can I move around? I'd like to get away from this place, it's giving me creeps. 

I try to take a few steps and that works, so I decide to just walk ahead.

This is the first dream I've had in a long time. I'm somewhat excited to find out what strange visuals my brain is capable of creating.

As I move, I notice that the trees don't change. I am definitely walking, but I keep passing the same trees. 

When I turn around to go back to my starting point, the same thing happens. I keep seeing the same trees pass by me. 

Okay, this is slightly disturbing. 

I try out all possible directions, but it's just the same scene repeating itself every time. 

It's like I'm stuck in a tiny fraction of time and space where I'm the only moving object. 

I sigh of frustration, but I can't hear my breath escaping my mouth. 

I am not excited anymore, now I just want to wake up already. 

What can I do in here anyway? I can only walk and look around, but there's nothing to see. 

Hold on, maybe I'm carrying something useful. 

I look down at my body to see if I'm carrying any items, and all of a sudden a lit torch appears in my left hand.

Wow, neat. 

I wave it around to get a closer and better look at the surrounding trees, but they all look the same. 

It's only then I notice that the fire at the top of the torch is actually slowly starting to burn the wood I'm holding, as if it's a huge match stick. 

That can't be good. 

I decide to make use of the light while I still have it, so I start walking again. The scenery is finally changing, but the more I walk, the faster the wood starts burning. 

The heat is gradually enveloping my left hand and when it almost reaches my skin directly, I try to toss it away. 

Hence the 'try to', since it's actually stuck to my hand now. I do my best to shake the torch out of my hold, but it won't get off. The fire touches my skin and it burns. It burns incredibly hot. 

My skin starts to melt where the fire touches and I want to scream out in pain, but my vocals aren't capable of producing any sounds.

The agonizing flame creeps up to my lower arm, setting it on fire along with my hand and wrist. 

Fuck, what do I do? 

"Did you know?" A voice says behind me. 

It's the only sound I've heard since I got here, but it gives me some serious chills despite the burning feeling. Is that Rhea's voice? It sounds distorted in some way, but it still sounds like her. I try to turn around, but the fire is keeping me stuck in place. 

"In hell you'll burn as well." 

Wait, that one isn't Rhea. Is that… Ingrid? 

"And rats deserve nothing better." 

Edelgard..? 

"In hell you'll burn as well."

That sounds like Seteth, but his voice is different too. What is up with that..? 

"In hell you'll burn as well." Another voice mingles. Ashe's voice.

The fire on my arm starts spreading to my upper arm and shoulder, and it burns terribly. The smell of my skin melting and sizzling is awful, but there's still no other sound than the chanting.

"In hell you'll burn as well." 

Mercedes. 

"In hell you'll burn as well." 

Even my mother.

"In hell you'll burn as well. In hell you'll burn as well. In hell you'll burn- In hell you'll-" 

The fire envelops my entire body, my face, my chest, stomach, legs. Everything burns and I want to cry out. I want to apologize to the voices. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry everyone. I wanted to help, I wanted to do right. I'm sorry.

The chanting voices are the last thing I hear before my entire body lights up into flames. 

.

A jolt of pain in my left arm is the first thing I actually feel after that terrifying scene from before.

"I'm sorry, stop burning me, I'm sorry." At least my voice has returned.

The pain lets up almost right away. 

"Oh, my apologies. I didn't mean to wake you up." Linhardt's gentle voice is a welcome interruption from the angry voices from just now.

"Linhardt?" Is he not angry at me then? 

"Correct, good for you." He actually sounds… bored. 

So that means we're good, right? 

"Does this hurt?" He asks before he pokes into my lower arm somewhere. 

"Argh, fuck! Yes, yes that hurts!" I can actually feel tears prickling in my eyes.

At least now I know I'm very much awake. Thanks Linhardt.

"Great, your nerves are still intact then." 

"Linhardt, is it really necessary to hurt him like that? Surely there was some other way to find out," Dimitri scolds him. "He's been through enough already." 

"This was the quickest and the easiest way. Just be grateful I'm willing to take care of his disgusting bloody infected wound." 

Dimitri is so sweet. Linhardt is definitely not. 

Reality hits me like a brick. That really was just a dream then, the actual pain I felt in my arm was probably just Linhardt prodding in my wounds.

I'm so glad. I won't have to burn in hell. Well, just not yet.

I'm rather disturbed by a few things I saw, but I'm pretty sure my brains or whatever spirits that hands out dreams were hinting me many more things and I'm sure it has to do with our struggle of what to do about the superinfected.

In my dream, the sky turned dark before I started moving. Does that mean we should travel while it's dark? It would make sense. 

But then again, I got nowhere until I had light, that which in turn literally burned me alive. 

Travel during the day then? That's the only logical conclusion I can draw from that scene. 

And I still need to build that memorial for Ashe and Mercedes. Maybe that's why they were angry. We'll get to that today, I promise.

"Hey love." Dimitri's soft voice interrupts my great train of thoughts. I didn't even notice him approaching me.

I'm about to get a little annoyed at him interrupting until I feel his hand start to massage my scalp. 

"Mm, hi." How could I ever be annoyed at him?

He chuckles. "How are you feeling? I hope you're feeling a little better, despite Linhardt's antics." 

Wait, hold on. I'm lying on someone's lap, but Dimitri only got here just now.

With a quick jolt, I sit upright, only to see Lysithea sleeping against a tree. 

I don't know what or who I was expecting, but for some reason I'm glad it's just her.

"I went out before to gather some more food," Dimitri explains.

"Ah. Yes, I'm feeling better, thankfully." Should I tell him about my dream? 

No, I don't want him to worry over me even more than he already does.

"I'm glad," he tells me softly before he pulls me into his arms. 

He's so warm. I hug him back as tightly as I can with my one good arm. His scent is extremely comforting and I can't help but let out a contented sigh.

It amazes me how he seems to know exactly what I need, when I need it.

"Are you really okay?" He asks once more. 

"Yeah, just hold me." I wonder if I'm too demanding. He never asks anything from me, in comparison to all the things I ask from him.

"Alright," he replies before he kisses my hair.

We sit there, hugging each other for at least a few minutes. I'm happily basking in his warmth and comfort.

There's no way I'll burn in hell for this, right? What's wrong about this? Not that I believe there even is a hell, but hypothetically speaking. 

Religion is such a strange thing, people making up these silly rules for situations that don't apply to themselves and then making up such severe punishment for anyone who has a different view, different feelings. 

It doesn't make sense to me. And I don't like to believe in things that don't make sense.

Because, if a God or Goddess created us, then why would they make us gay? Why create us in a way if we deserve to die for what we are?

Perhaps I'd like to go to hell so I can have a word with the underlord about all this. 

"You smell so good," I tell Dimitri, simply because he does.

He shudders from my words. "You really think so?" 

"Mhm." I bury my nose in his neck. 

He squeezes me a little bit tighter. "Can you do something for me?" 

"Sure," I'd do anything for him. Almost anything. Well, most things. 

I'll just see what he wants. 

He pulls away from me with reluctance before he grabs something he put besides him before.

He offers it to me. "Would you take this for me?"

Ugh, the medicine again. I don't want to take that crap.

I make a face at the sight of it and it earns me a sympathetic chuckle from him. "I'm sorry, but Linhardt said you need it. It's the last time for now though, so please?" 

I grumble under my breath, which makes him laugh again. 

"Fine, give me that." 

He hands me the small bowl with the disgusting green substance. 

Just swallow it in one go and don't let it touch your tongue. That can't be too hard. 

I put the bowl to my lips before I want to pour the liquid into my mouth and I can see Dimitri literally staring at my lips. 

I raise an eyebrow at him questioningly, but he just looks away, pretending I didn't just catch him in the act. 

It makes me laugh to myself. He can be so strange sometimes. 

In one gulp, I swallow down the liquid and it's still as disgusting as it was the first few times. 

"Damn, that's gross." 

Dimitri smiles at me and that kinda makes it worth the trouble. 

"Thank you," he says before he gives me a kiss on the cheek. 

Before he can pull away, I lay my hand on his jaw so I can give him a small kiss on his lips. 

"I deserved that." 

"Yeah, you did," he confirms for me with a shy smile.

"If you're feeling better, can't we just go then? I'm sick of just sitting here and waiting." 

Ah, Felix. Still as impatient and rude as I know him to be.

"Felix, Claude needs to rest. His fever only just went down, it's possible it'll return sooner or later," Linhardt informs him.

Felix just huffs in response.

"Aw, Felix, don't be like that! You and I got plenty of rest too when we had a boo boo." Sylvain tries to liften Felix' mood a bit, but it only has an opposite effect.

Felix looks even more annoyed than he did at first.

Actually, I do feel a lot better. I may not be able to use any weapons or whatever, but I can still travel.

"I do feel better though. We should get ready to leave again soon." 

Felix' eyes seem to light up a little at my words, but Dimitri frowns at me.

"Are you sure? Your arm looks painful still. Please don't push yourself, we'll move when your arm is healed." 

I shake my head at hearing that. "No, that won't do. Maybe Linhardt could fix me up a little more and then we'll head out again. Wasting time is the last thing we need to do right now." 

"Yes, exactly. Get packing, lazy ass." Felix nudges Sylvain's leg with his foot. 

It earns him a sigh and a whine from Sylvain, but he still complies and gets up from where he was resting against a tree.

"Claude, do you really think it's a good idea to leave already?" Raphael asks. "I wouldn't want you to get hurt even more." 

I nod. "Yeah, I'll be fine. As long as my fever doesn't kick up again." 

"The medicine I made should prevent that. But you're going to have to take it regularly now." Linhardt looks at me to confirm I heard what he said.

God damn it.

"Alright, fine. I'll take your stupid medicine." If that will get us moving again, I might even be happy to take it. 

"Linhardt and Lysithea already informed the rest of us about the plan for the infected out there. Do you still want to go with that?" Dimitri asks me.

"Yeah." Although, my dream told me something else. "No, actually, I think we should just travel during the day. I don't want to get stuck out there at night. That infected may not be the only thing that's waiting for us." 

Dimitri furrows his eyebrows. "What else are you expecting?" 

I have no idea if I'm being honest. But my gut feeling tells me it isn't good. 

"I'm not sure, but we should consider every possibility." 

He nods in understanding before he gets up himself and then helps me up as well.

"Let's get packing then," he says resolutely.

"Yeah. Linhardt, got some time for my arm?" 

.

We're back on our way to the superinfected and all I can think about is how we're supposed to get past it.

My brain came up with several ideas, including but not limited to;

One, Dimitri throwing a lance right through the infected, doesn't matter where. The only downside is that Dimitri's accuracy isn't perfect and I don't know how much time he'll have to aim.

Two, allowing Felix to challenge it headfirst into battle like he's wanting to, and then leave him behind to take care of himself. But that isn't even remotely a correct thing to do, so I'll definitely pass on that one.

Three, have Lysithea cast some kind of super spell to immobilize it for a small while so we can get past it. But Lysithea doesn't actually know any such spell, which is kind of a bummer.

Four, dig a tunnel underneath it. Too bad we won't be able to see when we can get back above ground and we don't even have a shovel. 

I sigh. Why is this so hard? There has to be a way to get past this one without having to fight it. There has to be a way, but how? 

And what if that infected really isn't the only one? Oh god, what if there's more than one of those? 

I can literally feel my optimism drop to an extremely low level. 

I take a deep breath. There's no time to start dwelling on 'what ifs'. We'll get there, scan the area, analyze the situation, then form a plan and execute it. 

"'Sup?" Sylvain asks me. 

"Huh?" Where'd that come from? 

He laughs. "You've been sighing and grunting almost the whole time since we left. So, what's up? Don't tell me you and Dimitri got in a fight already." 

Is there even anything else on this guy's mind? 

"I promise you, there's no fighting. I'm just trying to think of a way to make sure there won't be any fighting with that infected either. It proves harder than I thought." 

He hums while he thinks it over. "But I thought you already had a plan? Or is that not good enough?" 

"Yeah, you're right. It's just, I'm not as confident in this as I'd like to be, you know? The last thing I want is for anyone to get hurt or worse because my plan fails." 

"Yeah, that makes sense. But hey, that's kinda why we're here, remember? We're prepared for the worst, you just make sure we succeed, no matter what happens to us." He slaps my back with a bright smile, as if what he just said isn't the saddest thing ever.

"No offense, but I'd rather nothing happens to you guys, no matter what. I would never succeed without you all." 

That sounds much better. I don't like his mindset, but at least he's cheerful about it. 

He shrugs. "You can't guarantee nothing will happen. I mean, look at yourself! Accidents happen, whether you want them to or not. So I'd say, let's focus on our objective rather than ourselves." 

"I'm glad you're not leading us," I mutter.

He just laughs loudly. 

Accidents happen… Yeah, right. Not if I can help it. I don't want this to be our final destination. And it's not that I'm planning on giving up, but if things were to go wrong or seem completely impossible, I'd like to be able to turn back. With everyone, that is.

"Claude, I believe we've reached the edge." Raphael's voice sounds from up ahead. 

Well, this is it. 

I make my way towards Raphael and Felix, who were walking up front. 

True to Raphael's word, a large open field of grass is stretched out just before the trees we're hiding in. The sun is shining brightly and it's a strange sight to see after having been in this dark, dense forest for a few days. 

I wonder if the others have made it out as well. Lorenz, you better or I'm coming for you.

The bright light makes it difficult to see anything besides the bright green color of the grass. One of us will have to step out of the shade of the woods to take a look around.

"This isn't where we exited before, is it Felix?" Sylvain asks.

"I'm not sure, the trees all look alike." 

That's pretty obvious. I can't hold back a snicker at his response.

"I'm not talking about the trees, duh. We didn't see this much of a grassfield before. I'm sure we exited more towards the north." 

So that means we're further away from the infected! Absolute perfection. Now I'm just hoping the sword's reach isn't this long.

"That is absolutely perfect. I'll go check it out real quick, you all stay here." 

I'm about to step forward and leave the forest when a hand around my wrist holds me back. I look at who just took hold of my arm, which causes me to look right into Dimitri's eyes.

"Let me. Let me check it out, please." 

"Dima, why? I'll be fine, just stay here." I pull on my wrist, but he doesn't budge. 

"Claude, I'm serious. I'll do it." 

I sigh. Can he please just let me do one thing? I'm not a fragile little princess, despite how much I act like one sometimes.

"Dimitri, I'll be fine. Just wait for me. Why don't you trust me?" 

"It's not that." He sighs. 

"Then what is it? Look, it's my fault we're here, so it's only normal that I'm taking the bigger risks. That's my responsibi-"

"You're just more important than any of us, Claude! Why don't you see that? This has nothing to do with trust. You're already hurt, and now you want to do this too. Let me take some weight off of your shoulders for once!" He's panting slightly when he's done talking and I'm taken aback a little. 

I don't even know what to say to that.

He runs his hand that isn't holding mine through his blonde hair."Just rely on us a little, we're not as useless as you think we are." 

Excuse me, what? 

"That's not even how I feel! I just want to make sure nothing happens to any of you! It's not that I think you're useless or whatsoever." 

How dare he even think that? 

"Claude… You really have no idea just how important you are, do you? What are we supposed to do if you fall?" He actually sounds defeated. 

I'm sure he never meant for this to turn into an argument, yet here we are. 

"You move on and continue without me. It's not that hard."

"That's easy for you to say," he says so quietly that I'm not sure if I even heard him correctly.

"What was that?" I ask. I'm being such a little shit right now. 

"I mean, I don't think I'd be able to. I don't even want to do this without you. You're the one I decided to trust and follow. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you now. We haven't even…" He shakes his head. "It's just not an option, so let me. Please, Claude, I'm begging you." 

"We haven't even what?" I'm not letting this go so easily. If he wants to upset me, he'll have me at my worst. 

Reward for best boyfriend goes to me.

He actually blushes before he collects himself enough to voice his earlier thoughts. "We haven't even gotten a chance to just be safe and happy together. All we've been doing is fighting and surviving, but I want so much more than that. I want to create a life for us together and live it with you. I know that's not really relevant right now, but I just… I'm sorry." 

Fuck, that's adorable. My annoyance just melts away from the warmth of his words. 

"That's-"

"The sweetest thing I've ever heard!" Raphael interrupts. "Come on, Claude, you can't still be mad after that!" 

"Yeah, Claude. Give him a break." Even Lysithea is coming after me now, huh.

"Can we just make a decision and do what we came here for? This is annoying." 

Good thing we have Felix with us to keep our heads clear. 

"Yeah, just give me one second." I need to kiss Dimitri right now and I don't care about the other eyes watching us.

I take Dimitri's hand in mine so that he lets go of my wrist. His blush is still faintly present on his cheeks and I just can't help but smile at the sight. 

"I'm sorry," I tell him before I stretch out my neck to cover his lips with my own.

I hear Felix groan behind me. "Of course." 

"Stop ruining their moments. You know, Felix, you just need a girlfriend. Then you'd understand." 

"I don't want a girlfriend, Sylvain. Girls are annoying. I'd rather just spend my time fighting." 

Wow, it's like Felix is the fighty from while Linhardt is the sleepy form of a human being. They're too much alike for their own good.

I pull away from Dimitri after I gave him a tight hug. 

"Be careful, okay? And I want to know exactly what's out there, the lay-out of the area, location of the infected and anything else you can see." 

He looks at me surprised, but then he nods while wearing a small and grateful smile.

"Of course, leave it to me." He gently pets my cheek before he shrugs his bag off his shoulders.

He only takes his lance and holds it in his hand tightly and like that, he makes his way past the trees.

Please, let him be okay.

He almost completely disappears from my vision in the bright light, which makes me feel even more uneasy than before.

I want to regret allowing him to do this, but I hate that he felt like I thought he and everyone else is useless. 

Perhaps I should trust everyone else a little more. Or at least show them my trust one in a while. They deserve it.

"Guys! The area is clear, come on out!" His voice sounds from just a little bit up ahead.

I don't want to admit how glad I am to hear his voice. 

"Can someone take his bag?" I ask before I follow Dimitri's example. 

"Sure thing!" Raphael's voice is the last thing I hear before I join Dimitri where he's standing.

He puts an arm around my middle and we both look at our surroundings. 

How I've missed such a view. The warm sunlight really does some good things to me. The field of grass reaches all the way to up a hill and near a village lying in the distance. 

"I think we should go there," I say as I point at the houses. 

"Sounds like a plan." 

The rest of my squad joins us as well.

"Wow, amazing! Look at the space!" Lysithea's eyes are sparkling. 

"This is definitely a better view than what we had back then," Sylvain concludes. 

"Yeah. Where is it?" Felix is looking around urgently, likely searching for the infected that's out here somewhere.

Linhardt sighs. "Don't do that, please. Your behavior is definitely going to summon it." 

"I could use a challenge too! It's been too long since I got to fight anything!" Raphael booms. 

"Can't we just appreciate and be happy that that monster isn't around?" Sylvain runs a hand through his messy red hair. "I think it's probably up that hill over there, so can we stay away from that for now?" 

Uh, yes. We're not even going near that hill.

"Yeah, I was thinking we could probably go check out that village over there first," I inform the others. 

"Can I take a nap here first? This is great napping weather." 

Lysithea sighs. "No, Linhardt. We're going to see what's in that village and you're coming too." 

I wonder how much trouble Linhardt would be for me if I didn't have Lysithea here to order him around.

"Let's go." I'm feeling so energetic now. 

It's like the new surroundings just breathed new life into me.

We only took a few steps towards the village when Sylvain literally tackles Lysithea to the ground. 

"Ugh Sylvain, what the hell are you-" 

"Get down, all of you!" He screams.

Right as he says it, something swooshes over our heads and into the ground next to Raphael.

There's no way..!

I look up at the hill and there it is; one of my biggest fears, standing proudly and looking very dangerous on top of the hill I wanted to avoid.

The sword that just attacked us retracts to the infected that's wielding it and it looks like it's preparing to swing it around once more.

Just how far can it reach..? I don't even want to find out if I'm being honest.

"Don't stay down, run!" It's the only thing I can think of doing. We can't fight this thing. 

But of course, Felix is charging right towards it. 

"Felix! Stop, you can't fight it!" Sylvain yells, but his words fall onto deaf ears. 

"Can't we leave him behind?" Linhardt asks. 

I turn around to give him a glare, but his eyes show he's absolutely terrified.

"No, we're not leaving anyone behind," I tell him with the calmest voice I can muster right now. 

If anyone needs to stay calm, it's me. They listen to my orders, so if I panic, they'll just start panicking along.

"I'll go help him," Dimitri informs me. 

He doesn't even ask, he just sprints right after him. 

I've got no time to respond or protest. He's already gone. 

Okay, keep calm. Just keep calm.

I watch him go while taking deep breaths. Don't start panicking. 

"This is messed up." Sylvain's voice trembles.

"None of you guys have permission to move." If anyone else has any stupid ideas of charging ahead after Dimitri or Felix, I'm going to lose it.

"Roger that," Linhardt's relieved voice tells me.

"Yeah, I really wasn't planning on," Lysithea agrees.

"But can't we help them?" Raphael tries. "There should be something we can do, right?" 

Dimitri barely manages to avoid getting slashed by the extension of the sword. I'm too scared to breathe right now, so I hold it in. 

Felix manages to block an attack with his own sword, but not without getting pushed back a few meters. He lands on his back and doesn't get up for a few seconds. 

Sylvain gasps next to me, and I have to take hold of his arm to prevent him from going to Felix. 

"Dimitri's there. Let him take care of it." It's hard to assure him with this if I can't even believe Dimitri will make it myself. 

Sylvain nods though, so I let go of him. 

I can't bear to watch either Dimitri or Felix, so I settle for analyzing the infected. 

It looks… off, somehow. It's alive, I can see that from its movements, but it's exactly those movements I don't trust. It used to be an experienced fighter, that much is obvious from both its stance and the way it handles that sword. 

Its clothes look entirely unharmed, much like the rest of its body for that matter. There isn't a speck of blood anywhere on its garments either.

Is it conscious then? Does it know exactly what it's doing? But then, could it be that this person casted the spell? Do we seriously need to take this thing down before the magic is gone? 

I certainly hope not. From the looks of it, it's almost impossible to get close enough to it to actually land any attack. With that sword, it can protect its entire body, even its back, from a distance away.

That, added by its natural strength and insanely good vision and hearing, makes definitely impossible to take it down.

Dimitri finally reached Felix, who just managed to get back up on his feet. Felix still seems to want to fight the infected, but thankfully Dimitri is able to drag him away. 

A relieved sigh escapes my lips. Thank god.

They're still not safe though, and we can't do anything but hope they will make it unharmed.

"Head to the village! We'll be fine, just get to safety!" Dimitri's words are impossible to misunderstand, but I don't want to hear them.

Leave them behind..? Absolutely not. 

"Go!" He tries again. 

The infected is moving now too, chasing Dimitri and Felix as they're trying to escape it. 

At this rate, they'll never escape the infected's reach.

I'm not leaving them behind, and I'm sure the rest of us feels the same way. No one has asked me if we can flee, or has made any attempts to do so on their own.

The infected extends its sword once more, the strange material glinting in the sunlight as it's being swung around before it crashes down again. 

Dimitri blocks the attack with his lance, which literally breaks in half from the impact. 

He screams out, likely from pain, before he drops the lower half of the lance he still had in his hand. 

He clutches his right arm tightly to his chest with his left as he and Felix still try to flee towards the village. 

We need to do something, but what can we do? 

"Claude, what's the plan?" Sylvain asks, but I don't know. 

Stay calm, stay focused. We got this, it's just an arm injury, Dimitri's still fine. 

But then something really weird happens. As Dimitri and Felix are still running for their lives, the infected suddenly stops chasing them. It just stops moving altogether before it readies its sword once more for an attack. 

Luckily, Felix sees it coming and ducks in time, causing the sword to miss the attack. 

"We need to get out of its reach. Let's go." It almost hit Raphael before and it's even closer to us now. We'd best move a few meters backwards so we can stay out of its hitting range.

It looks like Felix and Dimitri have made it out of its range as well, because it doesn't attempt another attack on them. 

But why did it stop moving? It has all the space to keep chasing them, yet it just stopped. Maybe it can't move away too far from its designated spot. 

So it's guarding something after all. 

"We need to meet up with Dimitri, I'm pretty sure that block just now broke his arm." Linhardt is already heading their way, but I stop him.

"We will, but follow me." I want nothing more than to get to Dimitri and Felix right now, but I have no way of knowing how far that infected can move into our direction. 

Big chance that we'll have to cross through its attacking range to get to Dimitri or the village. 

I lead my friends in a big bend around what I'm assuming is the infected's reach, but I have no way of knowing for sure.

As we walk, I make sure to keep a close eye on the infected and its behavior. It seems to only be watching Dimitri and Felix for now, but I think if we make a sound, we'll draw its attention for sure.

"Stay quiet, it might not attack us." 

The others nod at me as we tiptoe to our destination as quietly as we can. 

Please don't notice us. 

"Claude, I need to sneeze," Raphael whispers. 

Oh my god, no. I've heard Raphael's sneeze before, it caused every bird in a two-kilometer radius to take off and fly away. 

"Please hold it in!" Lysithea whispers.

"I don't think I can!" He replies helplessly. 

Ah, fuck. 

"Let's just run. It's now or never." We need to get away from here. The sooner, the better.

We all engage in a full out sprint towards Dimitri and Felix. The infected notices us, but for some reason doesn't lash out with its whip. 

Are we moving too fast for it to aim properly? That's very interesting. I'm sure we're within reach, so that can't be the reason. 

Linhardt falls behind us, due to lack of stamina and speed, and that's when the infected decides to make a move. 

"Lin, duck!" 

He didn't expect that, and the surprise causes him to trip over his own feet. He lands with his face flat in the grass, but at least the sword misses him.

Well, that's as good a duck as any. 

Perhaps the infected couldn't make out a target because we were moving with a group. 

"Oh my god, Linhardt, get up!" Lysithea takes a few steps back to help him back up and she keeps a hold on him as we continue running. 

Almost there. 

"Come on, run faster!" Felix shouts. 

I would, but then we'd lose Linhardt and Lysithea. We need to keep moving as a group so that infected can't pick a target again. 

"Come on guys, stay together. It can't attack us if it doesn't see us individually." 

"Is that really true? Fuck, if only we knew that before." Sylvain is panting, but it's not concerning to me yet. 

Linhardt's state is much more worrying, but we need to keep moving now. 

As soon as we reach Felix and Dimitri, we all run to the village together without stopping. 

The further we get away from that infected, the more at ease my mind gets. Boy, was that something. 

A lone, seemingly abandoned road is the only way that leads to inside the village, so that's where we go. Before we enter, however, we take a break to catch our breaths. 

"So uhm," Felix starts. "I guess an apology would be fitting now, huh." 

I can't even hold back my frustration at him now. "Yes, very! What the hell were you thinking, charging ahead like that?! I thought we agreed we'd get by unnoticed!" 

He's just too unpredictable, I don't like unpredictable. 

"Yeah, I just- Look, I saw that thing approach and I figured I could take it down before it could lash out that weapon at us. It seems I was wrong though, so I'm sorry. I should have listened to you." 

I look at Dimitri, who's still holding his right arm. His face is scrunched up in pain and I hate the sight of it. 

Then I turn back to Felix. "Did you even consider any of us when you ran off? You knew we wouldn't leave you behind, so you knew perfectly well you were putting each and every one of us in danger. If you do something like that again-" 

"Claude, boy, dude, friend. Take it easy on Felix, alright? He apologized, which is something he never does. Believe me. We made it, didn't we? And on top of that, we learned some valuable things despite Felix being reckless, so forgive him already. You aren't an angry person, you know that too." 

Sylvain's words make sense, and Felix does look guilty. 

"Argh, fine. Just don't do that again, because I will leave you behind next time."

Felix nods and doesn't even give me a snarky comment. That alone tells me enough, so I let it go. 

We did actually make it. We made it past that infected for now, and we're almost inside this village. I wonder what sorts of things we'll find here. 

The buildings all look much different than the other village in the east. It's like the state of these have been maintained throughout the years, but that's impossible, right? Unless...

"Can I see your arm?" Lysithea asks Dimitri. 

"Yes, of course," he says before he carefully removes his hold on his arm. 

Ouchies, that looks incredibly painful. His broken bone is half-sticking out of his skin and just seeing that makes my own arm ache.

She swallows. "Uhm, I'm not sure if I can…" 

She tries to get a look at the whole arm, but as she touches it, Dimitri winces from pain immediately. 

"Ah, sorry!" She bites on the inside of her cheek. "I... don't think I can help this. Linhardt may not even be able to." 

Seriously? 

One look at Linhardt tells me that he's probably not getting up in a while, let alone heal a broken arm quite like Dimitri's.

"Sorry," he breathes out. "I'm currently out of order." He's still panting heavily compared to everyone else.

Just how weak is his physique? I guess he never did strike me as a sporty guy, but this? 

"Okay, so what now?" Raphael asks. 

Should we just head into the village then? We could at least find shelter for the time being. Just until we've recovered and rested, anyways. 

"Could someone please carry Linhardt? We'll head into the village to find shelter for now. There, we'll discuss what we'll be doing from now on." 

"Well, since you, Raphael and Dimitri are all in the owie-arm club, I guess I could." Sylvain nobly sacrifices himself as he pulls Linhardt onto his back with Lysithea's assistance.

I check Dimitri's state once more. He seems to be unharmed besides his arm. Thank god.

Felix also seems to be doing alright, but I notice his steps aren't quite what they were like before we encountered that monster. 

"Lysithea, could you help Felix at least? He got hurt too." I don't know what's wrong with him, but I hope Lysithea can help it.

Felix huffs though. "I don't need help, I'm fine. Save your energy." 

"Just let me help, it'll only take a few seconds," she tries to convince.

"I said, I'm fine. I don't need your help, not even for a few seconds." 

Why can't he ever accept help? He's as stubborn as a mule. No, scratch that, he's more stubborn than sixty mules on a heap.

"And I said, let me help." 

He's about to protest again, but he's got another thing coming if he thinks Lysithea is going to relent before him.

"Stop being an idiot and stay still! I'm not doing this for you, I need the practice for myself, so suck it up!" She grabs his shirt to keep him from taking another step.

He groans loudly. "You're just like Annette." 

Annette and Dedue… We gotta find them soon. I really don't want to add two more crosses with names to the memorial we've built for Ashe and Mercedes. 

But if they aren't in this village, where could they be?

"There, that should be better." Lysithea looks satisfied when she's done healing Felix. 

"I don't even feel any different." 

"Want me to undo it?" She threatens.

He huffs again. "You can't undo a heal, even I know that." 

"No, but I can make it hurt again, twice as badly if you don't stop being ungrateful!" 

They continue their argument and Lysithea actually ends up punching Felix' back. It probably doesn't hurt the tiniest bit, but it's the thought and effort that counts. 

The lonely road comes to an end eventually and my eyes can't believe what they're seeing. 

"There's absolutely no way…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all still for reading, next chapter is gonna be huuuuuge revelation-wise so hope you're all as excited to read as I am to write :) 
> 
> Stay safe and heatlhy!!


	30. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a long note but very important so don't skip
> 
> WARNING FOR INGAME SPOILERS: REMIRE VILLAGE  
> I changed lots of things though, which are very much different from the game, but they're still there, so keep that in mind
> 
> Also, I mixed up some timelines, since Claude lives about a hundred years after the game (that's probably the best I can describe it without spoiling the chapter, but I think it'll become clear when you read) 
> 
> And last but not least, THANK YOU ALL FOR THE COMMENTS I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AND THE KUDOS I GET SO HAPPY WHEN I HAVE ANOTHER ONE 
> 
> That's all, please enjoy :)

"What is going on here?" Lysithea wonders aloud.

"Hey, look at that. Is that… a namesign?" Sylvain is gesturing at something which doesn't really interest me right now. 

I would really like to know what in the world this village is.

"Welcome to Remire Village, it says. I've never heard of that before," Linhardt notices.

"Claude, what do you make of this?" Dimitri asks. 

But I don't even know any answer to give him. 

Before us, just a single street of this village lies. A random street, with houses decorated with flowers -live flowers-, and various pieces of laundry that are still drying in the breeze.

Laundry, flowers… What does this mean? Everything looks so… fresh, clean. So… alive.

"I don't know what's going on here, but I wanna explore!" Raphael announces before he walks ahead of the rest of us. 

"Raph, wait! We don't know what's out here." I try to warn him, but once he gets an idea, it's hard to distract him from it. 

Armed with two bags and an axe, he marches forward without even looking around for any dangers.

Oh, lord. 

At least Dimitri and Felix aren't blindly following after him this time.

"Looks like we're going further in." 

I'm the first who follows Raphael's footsteps, the rest cautiously follows after me.

"These buildings are impressive!" Lysithea walks up closer to one of the houses to get a better look before she jumps back in surprise. "Oh my god, somebody was in there!"

"An infected?" Inside of the houses? How'd they get in?

She looks at me. "I think so. Let's get away before it comes after us."

I find that a great idea. 

We sneak in further and we take the first turn we come across, which leads us to a plaza of some sort. A big water fountain is in the middle, surrounded by benches made of stone. 

The whole plaza is decorated with all kinds of colorful flowers, much like the houses around it. Even the cobblestones we're standing on seem like they've been upkept regularly. 

Tiny birds are whistling their songs and chippering happily as they hop all over the place. 

But all that's just a small detail compared to what I, and I'm sure all of us, are seeing. 

"This can't be…" Dimitri seems at a loss for words, but he's the only one who actually speaks a word.

There are people, sitting on the benches in front of the fountain. They're reading, feeding the birds or just watching the water spouting in all directions. 

Children are running around, playing tag or some other game under their parents' watchful eyes, who are also happily engaging in conversations with each other. 

"How is this possible?" Lysithea asks. "There are so many people…" 

I shake my head. I have no idea what to make of this.

"Oh, my. What have we here? You don't seem to be from here, are you? Could I maybe be of any assistance to you?"

An unfamiliar woman's voice sounds to our right. We all turn our heads to look whose voice it is.

"Who are…" Who the hell is she? 

She's a grown woman, yet she has a very youthful appearance. Her bright green curly hair reminds me too much of someone I'd rather not think too much about, but she looks so much more… sweet and innocent compared to him. 

"Ah, my apologies! My name is Flayn, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I hope I didn't scare you too much!" She giggles. 

"Hi, I'm Sylvain," Sylvain says as he walks up to her. "It's a pleasure to make your acqua… It's very nice to meet you too." 

"Ugh, Sylvain," Felix groans. "Why are you like this?" 

"Sylvain, would you be so kind as to back off for a second?" I'm too suspicious of this girl to lower my guard around her.

I pull him backwards by his arm. He looks at me confused, but I decide to ignore that for now. 

"Hi, I'm Claude. Mind telling us what this village is?" 

She looks surprised for a second, but regains her composure quickly enough. "Of course. What you see here," she gestures around at the plaza and the houses, "is Remire village." 

"Yes, we read that when we entered, but mind explaining why in the world there are living people here?" Linhardt seems to be as suspicious of her as I am. 

That's great, he's good at digging for information.

She chuckles first. "But of course, we live here because we can!" 

Linhardt sighs. "Okay, let me reformulate my question. Why is it possible to live here with all the dead people walking around everywhere?" 

Her sweet and innocent demeanor changes into something much more serious. 

"Excuse me if I'm being nosy, but from where might you be?" 

"Answer the question first," I say resolutely. I'm not about to give away any information about us before I somewhat trust and believe her.

"O-of course, forgive me. It seems we have lots to discuss, so let me take you to my house. You can rest up there for as long as you need while I explain everything I know." She bows politely before she starts walking off. "Please follow me." 

I can feel the eyes of my friends burning in all sides of my face, silently asking me if we should follow her or not. 

"Well, let's just go. What have we got to lose?" It's not like we don't know how to get out of this village after all.

"Yeah, and we can probably take her on if it came down to a fight!" Raphael shouts. 

"Yeah, that shouldn't be too difficult," Felix adds. 

"We're not fighting her, you guys. Let's just follow her before we lose sight of her." Dimitri takes the first few steps after her. 

"I don't trust this lady," Linhardt mutters. 

Well, neither do I.

.

"So, here we are! Welcome to my humble home," she says as she opens the door. "Please take off your shoes and head to the living room over there, I'll prepare some tea in the meantime while you all get settled." 

This feels like visiting your grandma on a Sunday morning. 

"Thank you for your hospitality," Sylvain says as he crouches down so Linhardt can get off his back. 

"Oh, no need for thank-you's!" She chuckles. "I love guests, please make yourselves comfortable." 

Sylvain leads us into the living room, which doesn't really have enough space for all of us to sit. 

There are two cozy sofas and one big armchair, which Linhardt claims for himself immediately.

"Y'all can squeeze together on those, I'll just sit here." He gestures to the sofas. 

"If we don't have enough space," I start, "I'm sending Lysithea over to you. You can snuggle in there together." 

Lysithea looks at me incredulously. "Excuse me, do I get a say in this?" 

"It's either Linhardt's or my lap, your pick." Sylvain winks at her. 

She doesn't even need a second to think it over before she plunges herself on top of one of Linhardt's legs and the armrest of the chair.

Linhardt is about to open his mouth to say something, but Lysithea doesn't even let him protest.

"Don't complain, you know you'd rather sit on my lap than Sylvain's too." 

"Why would I even sit on anyone's lap? Did you miss my point when I decided to sit here, rather than on a sofa?" 

I'll just let them bicker it out themselves. We still have to figure out how the five of us are going to fit on these two-person sofas. Flayn excluded. 

"Well, since Claude's going to sit on Dimitri's lap, Felix and I can share one and Raphael can sit next to Dimitri. Problem solved!" Sylvain sits down and pulls Felix down as well to sit next to him.

"I don't know if you saw, but Dimitri's arm got a little bit broken. I'm not sitting on his lap, so get up." 

"No, Claude, it's fine. You can sit on my lap," Dimitri tells me with a faint blush coating his cheeks. 

I can't believe he still blushes because of something like this. How endearing. 

He struggles a little with sitting down, so I help him by taking hold of his good arm. As soon as he's comfortable, he gently pats his legs to indicate I can sit there. 

I'm not so sure about this, but if he insists…

As carefully as I can, I sit on his knees. There, now I can't even touch his broken arm. 

Not unexpectedly, he leans forward to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer to his chest. 

Guess I'll lean against him then. He's to blame if I hurt him.

"That's better," he whispers before he kisses my cheek. 

"Hey Flayn? Do you maybe have some food for us?" Raphael yells to the kitchen where Flayn is. 

"Of course! I'll get something for you right after I served you tea." She reappears before us with a tray full of cups filled with a damping liquid. 

"Thanks! Do you need help with that?" Raphael asks. 

"Oh, no. Please, let me take care of this. You need to rest as much as you can!" She puts two cups on the small table in front of the armchair Linhardt and Lysithea are sitting on.

Lysithea is the only one who takes a cup though. "Do you want yours?" She asks Linhardt.

"Hmm, no thanks. I want to see if there's poison in it first, so please, go ahead and drink some." 

Lysithea doesn't hesitate to put her cup back on the table. 

Flayn doesn't seem to have heard Linhardt's comment, since she's still cheerfully setting a cup of tea in front of everybody.

"And what would you like to eat? I have lots of different things! Fruits, vegetables,-" 

"What about meat?" Raphael interrupts. 

This guy, seriously. 

But Flayn doesn't even mind. "Let me just grab a few different things, I'm sure you'll all find something to enjoy." 

And like that, she disappears back into her kitchen.

"Seriously Linhardt? This woman is being so sweet and kind and generous, and you're insulting her tea!? What kind of a man are you?!" Sylvain hisses at him. 

"Excuse me, you want me to trust someone who led us into her home before she answered my perfectly logical question? That's just ridiculous!" He hisses back.

"That only shows that she does trust us, don't you think? Who leads a group of perfect strangers into her home?!" 

"That's what I'd like to know! No one in their right mind does such a thing!" 

Right when Flayn comes back with another tray full of cheeses, different kinds of fruits, vegetables and other stuff, the bickering stops and both Linhardt and Sylvain casually lean back into their seats, like nothing happened. 

Well, at least they can behave when she's around. 

"Ah, perfect! I'm so hungry," Raphael announces before he almost literally attacks the tray with food. 

Lysithea joins him. "Hey, leave some for the rest of us!" 

.

After everyone somewhat got their stomachs filled and got comfortable, Flayn finally looks ready to start explaining. 

"So," I begin, "why aren't there any infected around here?" 

She looks confused. "Infected..? Ah! You must be referring to…" 

She doesn't finish her sentence, instead takes a sip of her tea. 

To who? The superinfected? 

"Well, to tell you that, I'll have to go ways back. It would help a lot if you could tell me what you already know." 

Alright. 

Ack, now I have to go ways back. Either way, I explain to her how we killed infected, that we noticed there was a difference between live and dead ones, that we figured out they are under the influence of magic and I finish with explaining about the superinfected right outside this village. 

I don't tell her we came from the monastery and neither do I tell her we have more allies. If she means danger, at least they'll be safe.

She swallows. "Right… I'll start from the beginning. Here goes. Years and years ago, I was allowed to be a student at the Garreg Mach Monastery, not too far from here.-" 

Garreg Mach Monastery? Isn't that where we live? But how?

"I was in the class which was taught by the most amazing teacher, I'll never forget him. He helped all of his students practice all sorts of things, and me, he taught Faith and Reason. He was so patient, even when things didn't go well, and so very generous and righteous. I live my life with him as my example. A-anyways, enough about that!"

She coughs awkwardly and takes another sip from her cup to hide a blush. 

"My teacher, his name is Byleth, was a very special man. Anyone could tell, but it was the Archbishop who really utilized his gift by handing him a special sword, named the Sword of the Creator. He handled it exceptionally well, so the Archbishop gifted it to him. Along with that sword, he was gifted the responsibility of dealing with all sorts of things outside the monastery; disputes between different folks, riots in different areas, and so also the Remire Village Calamity." 

Byleth… Sword of the Creator... Archbishop… The Remire Village Calamity… None of these sound familiar in the slightest. Why did we never learn about these in the monastery? There should have been records of at least one of those things, but there was nothing.

Did Rhea or Seteth destroy them? But why? 

Flayn takes a deep breath before she continues. "There had been word that people here, in Remire Village, had been acting strangely. The Archbishop dispatched numerous knights to investigate, but they returned with no explanation as to why the villagers were behaving the way they did. Not only that, but their behavior changed and soon turned violent. Villagers started attacking and killing each other. So, Byleth was sent there and like with every mission he received, he took his class along with him." 

That's the same thing they're doing now, isn't it? But now it's not Remire Village, now it's everywhere but here. How did that happen? 

"Like with every mission," Flayn starts again, "everyone had complete faith in Byleth. He was a strong and experienced fighter, so there was no one who even considered that he'd fail. But when we arrived, the situation had escalated tremendously. There were only a few live villagers left and the rampaging villagers had spread across the land. All that was left in Remire Village itself was destruction; buildings collapsing, fires, and weird people. Weird people, as in mages with strange magic. It was dark, ominous. It felt so wrong to be there, yet we knew we had to stop them. Byleth knew that too, better than anyone, so he ordered his students to take care of the lackeys, while he went for the most powerful one. The one in control of the others." 

Dimitri's arm has started squeezing me tighter throughout Flayn's story. I suppose this is really important to him, possibly more than to myself even, given that he lost friends to this whole mess. 

I take hold of his hand and squeeze his fingers. 

"Then, the unthinkable happened. Byleth… Byleth lost. For the first time, he didn't come out victorious against an enemy. To say we were shocked is a severe understatement. As Byleth fell, the rest of us were at a loss for what to do. Should we go to him and help him? Should we just hope for the best and stick to our orders? Should we flee? We didn't know, and in the end, we did nothing. Many of my classmates lost their lives that day and the ones who didn't, lost their souls. Like you said, the mage had performed some sort of magic spell and he used it on us as well. On Byleth even. And we could do nothing to stop it from happening.  
I, myself, am a cleric. I healed whoever needed it, but the strange magic caused my own classmates to attack me. I fled further into the village, this side of the village and hid out of sight from them. I think someone had made it back to the Archbishop and reported what happened. She, together with many knights came here to solve this madness, but all she could accomplish, was putting a blessing on this village. Here, we would be safe and stay safe from the spell, but she tragically lost her life during her fight with Byleth. Not only her, almost everyone who went with her did. The magic spell spread itself, making more victims all over the land." 

Her eyes got watery for a second before she blinks the moisture away. I'm sure this is extremely hard to talk about. 

"Since then, I've decided it's up to me to help whoever needs it. Anyone who came into this village, I helped. That's how this village at least got to the state it is in now. Together with many survivors, we rebuilt our lives, built houses, grew food, but we never got out of this village. As you might have seen, Byleth is out there, preventing anyone from leaving or coming near this place. It's been so hard, but at least we have the idea of being happy here." 

As she finishes her story, she puts her cup back on the table. 

"Would anyone like more tea? I'm sure you have lots to discuss with each other now, so I'll leave you all to yourselves for a bit." With that, she collects our cups on her tray and heads into her kitchen.

None of us opens their mouths for a while. 

Well, not too weird, what can we even say after that? She explained everything so thoroughly, so detailed, I can't even find anything of which I doubt is the truth.

"So, anyone else interested in who and what this Archbishop is?" Linhardt, unsurprisingly, opens his mouth first. 

"I've never heard of such a term. Was it truly a person?" Lysithea wonders. 

The Archbishop… it sounds like it's something religious. Well, given she blessed a village, that shouldn't be too far off. 

Nevertheless, all this information is extremely valuable. I'm glad we all heard it, just in case I might forget something. 

And this Byleth guy; he's definitely the one who attacked us outside. No wonder he is such a good fighter, he literally lived for that shit before. 

And now I'm a lot less embarrassed about the fact that we were too scared to fight him. If even so many trained knights lost from him, what are we ever supposed to do against something like that? He's a beast.

"I'm more curious about her age to be honest," Sylvain says. 

Her age..? That's right, she and Byleth are from the same time. Which was about a hundred years ago… 

What in the literal fuck? 

"Perhaps she wasn't really there, maybe she's telling a story she's heard from like, her grandmother? Or -father? I'm sure she's not more than a hundred years old, that's insane." Linhardt counters. 

"I thought she looked weird the second I saw her. Something is off about her, whether that's her age or whatever else." Felix decides. 

"Yeah, I thought she looked weird too. That wasn't my imagination, then." The more I look at her, the more I recognize some of Seteth's features in her. 

But what is up with that? That's not possible, right? 

"Hey, did any of you think she looks familiar at least? Because I thought she looks a lot like Seteth!" Raphael booms. 

When and how did he get so observant? 

Lysithea gasps in realization and Sylvain's face scrunches up. 

A loud clatter next to us catches my attention. 

Flayn, who was just heading back to us, dropped her tray with teacups and has slapped her hands in front of her mouth. 

What? 

She releases her mouth and I can see her hands are trembling terribly. "E-excuse me, what did you just say?" 

"Oh, uhm… Sorry, I didn't mean to cause that. I just thought you looked a lot like someone we know." Raphael scratches the back of his head in an embarrassed way. 

Linhardt sighs. "Raphael, seriously." He then turns to Flayn, who looks incredibly pale. "Does the name 'Seteth' ring a bell?" 

She takes a second before she answers. "How do you… W-where did you learn that name? Did I..? No way…" 

"No, you didn't mention it," I clarify. "Perhaps you'd like to sit down for a second, because it seems we have some things to tell you as well." 

Lysithea and Raphael both stand up to clean up the mess of tea and teacups Flayn just made by dropping her tray, which allows Linhardt to get up from the armchair and sit next to Dima and me, so that Flayn can sit in the chair. 

She does so and now we can tell her about where we really are from. 

"So, you asked before where we're from and we didn't answer that question then, but we will now. We are from the monastery, likely the one you mentioned." 

Her eyes grow huge at that, but she doesn't interrupt. 

"Inside the monastery, a whole community lives together. But the man we mentioned, I don't know what he is to you, but he assists Lady Rhea, the headmaster, with her tasks. We were told they're the ones who founded the monastery. They're our saviors, so to say." 

She shakes her head. "No… That can't be. That's impossible! Seteth was my father and he… he didn't-" She sobs loudly. 

Excuse me, her what? 

"Seteth is your father?!" Linhardt exclaims. That's the loudest I've heard his voice yet.

"And… Lady Rhea, you said?" 

I nod. 

She sighs deeply. "Could you maybe come with me? I have something to show to all of you." 

I wonder what it is. There's no way I'm not coming along. 

"Yeah, we're coming." I get up immediately and give Flayn a hand. She looks like she needs it. 

She gratefully accepts it and uses it to get up from her chair. "My apologies, it seems my knees are all wobbly." 

"That's okay, take it easy." 

I look at my other members, who are almost all ready to head back out. 

"Oh, you said you're a cleric, right?" I ask Flayn.

She nods in confirmation.

"Is there a chance you could help my boyfriend? Teach seems to have broken his arm." 

She looks over at Dimitri, who's still sitting on the sofa because he couldn't get up as quickly as the rest of us. 

"Oh my, that looks incredibly painful!" She walks over to him immediately. "How about I take care of your arm before we leave?" 

Dimitri looks flustered, whether that's because I called him my boyfriend or because of the sudden attention on him, I don't know. I think the former though.

"I-I'd appreciate that, thank you," he answers with a soft voice. 

"Now, this may hurt quite badly," Flayn warns, "but that's just the bone repairing itself and the skin reattaching over that bone."

He nods before a soft, glowing light appears from Flayn's fingers. Dimitri's face scrunches up and he clenches his jaws together, but doesn't react otherwise. 

That's my man. 

"Okay, all done!" Flayn claps in her hands with a satisfied smile. 

"Thank you, so much," Dimitri says as he rolls his wrist around. "That's much better." 

"Well then, can we go?" Linhardt asks. "I'm curious to see what you want to show us." 

"Yes, we're going. Follow me," Flayn calls out before she heads back out. 

I wonder if her good mood returned because she helped Dimitri.

If so, she's probably the purest person I've ever met. 

Before mentioned guy takes hold of my hand before we head out after Flayn. I appreciate the comforting gesture a lot, who knows what Flayn wants to show us? 

"Could this day be any more weird?" He asks me. 

"I have no idea, but I hope we're past the weirdest things. Maybe she'll show us a dragon, that'd be cool." 

"I don't think I want to meet a dragon, they seem a bit dangerous." 

"No, it'll be a friendly dragon," I clarify. 

"Ah yes, a friendly dragon," he mocks. 

I hit his chest softly. "They might exist! Shun the non-believer." 

"Forgive me, I want to believe."

Yeah, I'm sure you do. 

.

"Flayn, where in the world are we going?" Linhardt asks. 

A loud groan comes from Lysithea. "Why don't you just be patient and let her explain when we're there?" 

"I just don't like being here." 

Well, Linhardt, me either. 

We've entered some sort of cathedral and Flayn is leading us all the way to the back. It's a beautiful building, no problem with that, but the room she's leading us to is filled with tombstones. 

Actual tombstones. Graves with dead people above ground. 

The space is pretty dark, only lit by a few candles on the brick walls. It makes for an eerie setting.

I can't shake the uneasy feeling that someone's going to pounce on us from one of those coffins. I try my best to stay far away from them, but Flayn is heading right towards one in particular.

"Here, this one." She stops in front of a coffin in the far back of the room decorated with many flowers and all different kinds of items. 

A golden tiara lies in the middle. 

The feeling it gives me is indescribable, but anything between uneasy and extremely uncomfortable would do.

"Is this..?" It seems even Linhardt doesn't want to ask the question we're all wondering. 

"Yes, this is Seteth's, my father's grave." Flayn answers. "He lost his life while trying to help the Archbishop in her fight with Byleth. Luckily, all knights of Seiros were blessed, so the spell wouldn't affect them. I'm extremely glad he really went when he died." 

"I'm so sorry." It's the only thing my mind offers for me to say. 

What the fuck though? How is Seteth's body right here, if he's literally in the monastery right now? I can't even think of any logical explanation for this.

"Does that mean this place is a tomb only for knights of Seiros?" Felix asks. 

It's the first time since a while that he speaks up. I guess even he has the ability to read situations. 

"Yes, it is. You may have a look around, if you want. I'll wait here, since I still have one more thing I need to show you." Flayn turns back to her father's coffin, muttering some sort of prayer under her breath.

Linhardt is the first to walk off towards a coffin that's lying a few meters next to Seteth's. 

"Hmm, Shamir… Nevrand. Never seen that name before, not even in any of the records in the library. How very peculiar," Linhardt murmurs.

"Or this one, Cassandra Rubens Charon… How awful that they lost their lives this way." Lysithea is looking at the coffin behind Linhardt's. 

"Everyone used to call her Catherine," Flayn informs. "She was a great knight, same as Shamir. They had something of a rivalry going between them, but they never got to see who was better." 

I decide to look around as well. Dimitri comes with me, since we're still holding hands. 

"Hey, look here," I tell Dimitri. "Cyril is an Almyran name. That's where I'm from too." 

He looks at me surprised. "But Claude isn't really, is it?" 

I shake my head. "No, my mother gave me this name so it'd be easier for me to fit in here in Fódlan. My first and real name is actually Khalid, but I'm used to Claude now. So you can just keep calling me that." 

He smiles. "I feel like I just discovered something huge, even bigger than the things Flayn told us." 

"Ah you flatter me, truly. And since it's such a big deal to you, we can keep it as our secret." I wink at him, which makes him smile even brighter. 

"Alright, my lips are sealed." 

I drag him off to a new coffin with a person named Jeralt inside. 

"Jeralt Eisner," Dimitri reads. 

"That's professor Byleth's father," Flayn explains. "They were each other's only family." 

The only family both of them had… So back then, split families weren't really such a rare occurrence as we got taught.

Rhea's really been doing a great job at keeping her people ignorant.

We just walked past Alois Rangelt's coffin when Flayn announces she'd like to continue on. 

"We'll be right there," I tell her as we make our way back to her. 

The last name on any tomb I see is Gustave Eddie Dominic. 

There were still some more we haven't seen, but I guess it's time for the finale.

"Is everyone back now?" Flayn asks as she tries to count our heads.

"Yeah, we're all here," I answer. 

"Perfect, please follow me." 

We walk after her into a new room, which seems to be even bigger than the previous one, except this one only holds one coffin. 

It's decorated with some of the strangest objects; flowers, cards, weapons, jewelry, ornaments… And is that a blood offer? 

I hold back a gag and Dimitri squeezes my hand before he takes a small step forward to cover my view. 

"Thanks," I whisper. 

He gives me a kiss on my forehead.

"So uhm… Mind telling us what this is?" Even Sylvain seems uncomfortable being here. 

That means something is definitely wrong with this place.

"This, what you're looking at here… It's the Archbishop's grave. This is where her body rests. The Holy Tomb is what we call it. Go on, go and look at the name." Flayn looks directly at me as she says the last part, but I'm not sure I want to know who rests here.

I swallow before I take the first step. Dimitri lets go of my hand, which I find begrudging to say the least. No one else is moving forward either.

So it's up to myself then. 

"Flayn, do I want to know?" I ask as I walk over to the coffin. 

"I think you'd find it very interesting," is all she says. 

The first lines of text that are engraved in the stone slowly become visible to me. 

'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see the Goddess', it says. 

Religious, are we? 

Well Claude, obviously.

"...Rhea. This is Rhea's grave. She was the Archbishop. But how..?" I turn back to look at Flayn. "How is this her grave when she's literally probably just standing in her audience chamber, just chilling or casually looking out the window? And Seteth, he's probably…" 

Did they maybe leave the monastery after us? Are they not in there anymore? But why would they claim they're dead then? Are they really? 

"I-I don't know the answers. What I do know is that this… this is real. This is the truth. Whatever goes on inside the monastery, I have no idea about." 

"Rhea's really in there..?" Linhardt wonders softly. "Flayn, could you describe Rhea for us? To give us more clearance." 

"Of course. Archbishop Rhea was calm, serene, like a river. She was caring over everyone, like a mother, yet passed extreme judgment on those who opposed the church or Goddess. She was also beautiful, nearly flawless even. Her haircolor was a little bit like my own, yet hers had a lighter shade. The gowns she wore had-" 

"Yeah, you can stop. That's the Rhea we know too," Linhardt concludes. 

"Then it's safe to assume Seteth is the same person as well," Felix adds. 

Raphael nods. "Yeah, especially because Flayn looks so much like him!" 

"No, Linhardt, that's not entirely true." That's not the Rhea we know. At least, not the one I know. 

He raises an eyebrow at me. "What do you mean? She's exactly the way Flayn described her." 

I shake my head. Everyone is looking at me now, probably because none of them have seen Rhea lose her lid before. I have though. 

"No, Rhea isn't caring like a mother. Or only harsh on someone when they oppose the Goddess. Rhea has always been vicious, cruel. She just hid it extremely well underneath her mask. I'm sure none of you ever got in so much trouble with her to have seen it, but I have." 

"When you broke her rules…" Lysithea murmurs.

"Exactly. She hated my guts, just like Seteth did." 

Flayn flinches at the mention of her father's name. "My father never hated anyone. He was strict, and very overprotective, but he always tried his hardest to protect everyone. There is no way that my father and the Archbishop are the same people that are in the monastery right now!" 

But if it isn't them, who the hell has been in the monastery all this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> Btw I was doing some small research on Claude bc I read somewhere it wasn't his real name and I found out he and Dimitri are distant relatives??????? 
> 
> I HAD NO IDEA PLS FORGIVE ME I DON'T MEAN FOR INCEST TO HAPPEN 
> 
> Is it okay to just pretend like I never saw that and y'all never saw this and we can go on living with the idea that they can just be happy together? :) yes? Okay great


	31. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO 
> 
> I FINALLY GOT THIS CHAPTER OUT AND HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED:
> 
> This chapter is like, 20% plot, 5% random aND 75% CLAUDE AND DIMA AND I'M NOT SORRY FOR IT 
> 
> Small warning though, there is intimacy at the end of the chapter. I'll indicate the beginning and ending of that scene with three *** so that you can skip if you want to skip
> 
> It is NOT explicit though
> 
> Either way if y'all love Claude and Dima as much as me, have fun reading! I know you've been waiting for some action hehehe

So who's been in the monastery then? Imposters? But for what reason would they pretend to be the Archbishop and her right hand? 

This is mind-twisting and I don't like where this is going. The only thing we can do now is go back to the monastery and uncover whoever is leading it. 

"Hey, Flayn?" Linhardt starts. "I think we've seen what we needed, so can we leave now? This place is giving me creeps." 

She looks relieved. "Yes, we can go back to my house, if that's alright with you. Perhaps we can all let this information sink in a bit and then we can form a plan." 

"Wait, you're helping us?" Lysithea asks incredulously.

I didn't expect that either.

"Why, yes of course! I want to know who's pretending to be my father and doing a horrible job at that!" 

"Well, that's really nice and all, but we don't have a way of getting inside the monastery. The reason we came here, is because we want to get rid of the magic," I explain to her. 

She actually looks a bit disappointed. "A-alright. Let me help you with that, then! I'm sure I can be of some use to you!" 

Wow, she's got some spirit. I'm impressed. 

"Well, your food is certainly helpful!" Raphael shouts. 

That earns him a slap on the arm from Lysithea. "Can you never think of anything else? Flayn, I would really appreciate it if you could help me practice White Magic." 

"Oh, and me too while you're at it," Linhardt adds.

It's like the words 'help me' are some sort of happiness elixir to Flayn. She practically starts glowing.

"I will do everything I can to help you master whatever spells I know, you can count on me! In fact, why don't we go to the hospital right away? I'm sure there are plenty of people to practice on." She giggles before she starts walking away.

"Wait, the what? Where are you taking us?" 

She turns around. "The hospital, Claude. Pay attention, will you?" 

"I heard you, but what is that?" Hospital? I don't think I've ever heard of such a thing before. 

"I think it's something like an infirmary," Linhardt explains. "At least, I think so since she said there are people to practice heals on." 

That makes sense. But why not just say infirmary?

I shrug before I start following Flayn. I really don't want to be left behind in this graveyard.

.

And now I get why it's not just called an infirmary. 

"This," Flayn says as she spins around with her arms spread, "is the hospital! Where the wounded and sick get healed, and elders get taken care of. Most of them don't have families to take care of them, so the people that work here do that for them. Of course, the elders aren't in the same wing as the sick people, that wouldn't be a smart thing to do." 

She led us inside a huge building with many corridors, hallways and rooms, most of them filled with either sick or wounded people. 

"How come there are so many wounded?" Felix asks. "I thought this village was blessed or something." 

"That is correct. The wounded people are, in fact, not all from this village. Most of them are survivors who managed to find our village and took shelter here." 

"Uhm, Flayn?" Dimitri asks, his voice trembles. "Do you know if… Did someone named Dedue or Annette come in here? I-it's okay if they didn't, but they're my friends and-" 

Flayn's eyes grow big before she interrupts Dimitri. "Actually… I'm not sure if that are their names, but quite a few days ago, a man with a small girl did find their way to our village." 

Oh my god. That means they're okay. They're safe, right here. 

"Thank fuck," Sylvain whispers. 

Felix lifts his head up with his eyes closed, silently thanking whoever is responsible.

And Dimitri covers his face with his hands, barely suppressing a soft whimper. "Thank god, thank god…" he keeps whispering.

It makes my heart ache for him, despite that we received incredibly good news just now. He must've been so worried this whole time. 

I walk up to him to take hold of his hands. Two beautiful tearful eyes reappear from where he covered them. "Baby, hey, it's alright. They're okay. Let's see if Flayn knows where they are so you can see them." 

He sniffles before he tries a smile. "Yeah, you're right. Thank you." 

Before I can let go of his hands to ask Flayn where they are, Dimitri pulls me closer to him. His arms wrap around my middle and he buries his face in my neck, breathing shakily. 

In turn, I wrap my arms around his shoulders, whispering soft reassurances to him. He's stayed strong for so long, he's allowed to be emotional for a bit. 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, despite how boys are always told they're not allowed to cry.

"Is he okay?" I can hear Flayn whisper behind me.

"Yeah, just give him a moment," Lysithea answers. "He's been through a lot." 

He really has. I daresay he's had it worse than anyone of us. Having to survive on his own, not knowing where his friends were or if they were okay. Having to actually somewhat murder Ashe in favor of not getting killed himself. And then having to deal with the fact that his own girlfriend betrayed everyone because she was scared someone would mess with her personal plans.

Sorry Linhardt, but I'd say that gives more emotional trauma than your life being saved by your one true love.

"Poor guy. I'm sure you've all been through a lot as well. How about I show you where the two patients are? We'll call it a day after, I'm sure there are some rooms I can prepare for you all." 

"That sounds absolutely perfect, thank you Flayn." Sylvain's voice sounds loaded with emotion as well. He's doing a good job at keeping himself together though. 

Nothing but respect for these guys.

"Hey, you ready to go?" 

Dimitri kisses my neck twice before he lifts his head back up. "Yeah, I'm ready." 

I take his hand before I turn back to Flayn to let her know we can move again. 

She nods with a gentle smile before she turns around to walk off. 

"Hey, Flayn? Are you religious?" Linhardt asks out of nowhere. 

"Why, yes!" She giggles. "I thought that much would be obvious." 

"Why do you even ask?" Lysithea asks Linhardt. 

"Well, I'm just curious. See, she hasn't given Claude and Dimitri one dirty look, despite them both being male and in a relationship with each other. Don't you find that odd?" 

That's true. I couldn't find anything insincere about her smiles either. Does that mean she's actually okay with homosexuality, despite being religious? That is indeed odd.

Lysithea shrugs. "Perhaps Flayn just doesn't judge people." 

Flayn looks confused. "What does that have to do with religion?" 

"We got taught that homosexuality is a crime. Rhea would punish you if you turned out to be one," Linhardt explains. "Apparently the goddess or whoever finds it a sin, so anyone who crosses such a boundary needs to be punished." 

Flayn shakes her head at that. "That makes absolutely no sense. The goddess wants everyone to be able to find happiness. Whether that's with someone of a different or the same gender, it doesn't matter. Everyone deserves to be happy." 

Finally, someone who makes sense! So Rhea's been lying to us about that too. But why? What's wrong with being gay? 

"I don't know why this person in the monastery would lie about the goddess like this. And to her own people! It's unforgivable." 

"Would you say that counts as opposing the goddess?" Sylvain asks.

"Of course!" Flayn replies immediately. "Lady Rhea would punish them for this, no doubt about that." 

"So it's okay to be gay?" Just to be sure. 

"It's okay to be gay," Flayn confirms. "In fact, I think you are the sweetest couple I've seen in a long while." 

I did not expect a compliment like that. My cheeks start burning up, hopefully only a little so it stays invisible on my tanned cheeks. Dimitri isn't that lucky though, his blush actually reaches all the way to his ears. 

Despite the blushing, we're both smiling broadly. I'm incredibly glad that it's just a monastery thing, rather than a shared opinion between almost everyone.

"Thank you. I'm glad about that," Dimitri says as he squeezes my hand. 

I squeeze his back. 

"Well now, shall we go to the dude and Arlet?" Flayn asks before she resumes her way towards Annette and Dedue.

"Who did you just say?" Sylvain asks, barely containing a laugh. 

"Don't laugh," Lysithea scolds, but even she has a smile on her face. 

.

"So, here we are." Flayn stops just outside a door at the beginning of a new hallway. "I hate to say this, but I'm not allowed to let more than four people in at the same time. It's a rule we have to make sure the patients won't be overwhelmed by too many visitors at once." 

"Alright, that makes sense. I think it's only normal that Dimitri, Felix and Sylvain go inside. We'll stay out here and wait for you guys." I nudge Dimitri towards the door with an assuring smile.

"Thank you," he says. 

"Don't thank me, just get in there." 

He smiles and kisses my cheek before he follows Sylvain and Felix inside. 

The door closes, which leaves the five of us standing in the quiet hallway. 

"So, Flayn," Linhardt starts. "You were going to teach us healing spells?" 

"Right! ...But then I'd have to leave Claude and Raphael alone here. Or perhaps I could already bring you to your rooms?" 

"Is there a chance we could get some food in there? Because I'm starving!" 

Of course he is. "You can take Raph to his room, I'll wait out here for the others." 

"Ah, but if it's just you, you could go inside," Flayn suggests.

I shake my head though. This isn't something I want to intrude on. "Thanks, but no thanks." 

"Hm, alright. Then, if you're ready to retreat into a room, you just need to walk down this hallway, head down the stairs all the way and then exit this building. When you go outside, an entrance to another building will be right there in front of you. That's the building where the elders reside. I believe the top floor is still empty, since elders can't really walk that many stairs. You can take a room there." 

"That sounds great, thanks. See ya." 

Knowing a dismissal when she hears one, Flayn nods and starts leading Linhardt, Lysithea and Raphael down the hallway. They take a turn and like that, they're completely out of sight. All that's left of them is their footsteps sounding on the wooden floor.

It's weird, being in a place where I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder for any dangers. It's almost surreal. 

And just to be sure, I take a look over my shoulder anyway. But obviously, I'm completely alone. 

I lean against the wall and rest my head against it. 

Safe. We're safe again. At least, if everything Flayn told us about this village is true. I don't have many doubts, but you never know for sure. 

We gotta get moving again though. Despite how much I'd like to just stay here and be safe, my other friends are counting on me. I can't stay here while they're still out there, fighting and struggling while waiting for me.

We'll rest up first. Rest up, clean up and eat up. That's important right now. Dedue and Annette's state will determine how long we'll need to stay here. I'd like to take those two back home, if possible. 

Home. Heh, ridiculous. Everything I thought I knew about 'home', is all a damn lie. Rhea and Seteth, what are they planning? What are they gaining by pretending to be someone else? 

And who are they really? 

My knees bend, allowing me to sit on the floor. This place smells. Alcohol or some other disinfectant, I'm guessing. 

Perhaps Seteth and Rhea are pretending to be them because they had so much influence before. Or to keep it realistic, because it was the Archbishop who lived inside the monastery before. 

Whatever their reasons, it's about time we expose their true identities. We'll figure everything out. Just wait for us.

.

It takes about forty-five minutes before the trio exits the room. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't about to doze off. I'm scared Linhardt's behavior might be rubbing off on me. 

Dimitri crouches down next to me as soon as he notices me sitting down. "Hey, how come you're alone?" 

"The 'thers wendaway," I tell him in my best half-asleep language. I'm impressed if he understood that. 

"Ah, didn't Linhardt and Lysithea want to learn white magic or something?" Sylvain asks. 

"Yeah. Raphael probably went to get food," Felix adds. 

I snicker at that. "That's funny 'cuz it's true."

Dimitri chuckles. "You're so silly when you're sleepy. Come here, let's get you up so we can find Flayn." 

He starts pulling on my arms to get me to stand up, but my legs have gotten numb from my weird sitting position. It makes moving incredibly difficult.

"Can't you just carry him?" Felix asks. "This is taking long." 

That sounds perfect. "Mhm, carry me so I can sleep." 

"Oh, uhm… I-I guess I could." He guides my arms around his neck instead, but stops his movements after.

"Whadisit?" I mutter with my face stuffed with shoulder.

"I think I might have to touch your butt for a second to lift you up from the floor." 

I can't see him, but I know he's blushing. 

"You can touch my bum, you know." I giggle. Yes, I'm giggling, even though I had sworn to never do that again.

"Well, if you're really okay with it," he says before his hands cover both my buttcheeks to lift me up.

Damn, this guy is seriously strong. How does he even do that? It's not like his arms are so buff. 

As soon as he stands with me in his arms, I wrap my legs around his middle to relieve the strain on his arms.

His hands still rest on my butt. Sneaky pervert.

"So, where do we start looking?" Sylvain asks as he looks around. "Surely you must've seen where they were headed, right?"

It stays quiet for a while until I realize he's talking to me.

"Ah, yes. No, no I actually didn't. Flayn said there were rooms we could use. But they're like, far away." 

Felix sighs. "Where?" 

"Uhm." Why are they making me think so much? "Like, outside. I thought. Just find the stairs, go down, go outside, go inside, go upstairs. That's all." 

There, that should do it. 

"Wouldn't we end up right where we are right now?" Felix is starting to sound really annoyed now.

My guess is that he gets prickly when he's tired, rather than silly. 

"Wow, thanks for nothing!" Sylvain laughs. 

"My pleasure!" 

"We'll look ourselves. Thank you, love, you should try to get some rest already." Dimitri's voice is so close to my ear. I dislike how it always gives me goosebumps when he does that. 

"Mm, 'kay." Not like I need him to tell me that. He's too warm and I'm too comfortable to keep my eyes open. 

. 

"Claude, we're here. I think." Dimitri's gentle voice wakes me up.

Has he seriously been carrying me the whole way? His back's gotta hurt like crazy right now.

"Ngh, where are we?" I rub my eyes. Man, I could have kept on sleeping for days.

He chuckles. "Flayn led us to the building with the elders. I uhm… I told her we'd share a room. I hope you don't mind." 

Dima and I will share a room? Then… this will be the first time we're completely alone together. Not gonna lie, that kinda excites me. I've never had sleepovers with just one friend before. But Dima isn't really my friend now, is he? He's my boyfriend. Is that much different? 

Nevertheless, I'm still excited.

"No, that's fine," I reply. "Are we in the room already?" 

"Yeah. I filled the bathtub for you, so you can go wash up first. Just be sure not to fall asleep in there, okay?" 

"No promises," I tell him with a laugh. "I'll leave the door unlocked, just in case." 

I get up and head to what I'm assuming is the bathroom. Before I enter, I turn back around at Dimitri, who's still sitting on the bed.

"And no peeking," I tell him with a wink.

He sputters something that sounds like 'I would never', but I'm already inside the bathroom.

The bathroom is small, really small. I'm surprised a bathtub actually fits in here. But even still, the sight of a tub filled with hot water makes me want to get in there as quickly as I possibly can. 

I take off my shirt first. I wonder if there are clean clothes. Guess I'll ask Dimitri later. I just want to wash up already. 

After I fully undress myself further and throw my clothes in the small laundry bin in the corner, I lower my body in the hot bathwater. 

God, that just feels amazing. I submerge my head to wet my hair and it colors all the water brown from the mud that was stuck in my hair.

That's kinda gross. I'll change the water for Dimitri when I'm finished. 

Hmm, Dimitri… I know I told him he can't come in, but it's weird, being alone after having been together with other people for so long. I want his company.

"Dima?" I did mean to ask him about the clothes anyway. 

I'll just create lots of foam and bubbles so he won't see anything private. Not like anything's actually visible in this disgusting water, but it's the thought that counts.

"Claude? Is everything alright?" I get back for an answer.

After I'm satisfied with the amount of bubbles, which cover all of the water right now, I call back to him.

"Could you come in for a second?"

Despite that I literally asked him to come in, he still knocks on the door politely.

"It's fine, just come in," I laugh. "I'm covered up anyway." 

The door opens, revealing Dimitri in the doorway. His face has a nice pink blush despite that he's looking at everything but me.

"Don't be like that, I said I'm covered up. I just want your company." 

"My… company?" He repeats.

"Yeah, come here." I stick out my arm towards him to beckon him closer. "It's been a while since we spent time with just the two of us, hasn't it?" 

He smiles as he takes the few steps towards me and sits down next to the bathtub. "Yeah, it has. I was a little worried you'd be uncomfortable with just me around."

"On the contrary. I'm happy we get to spend some time alone. Especially because we don't have to worry about dying here." 

He gently strokes the skin of my shoulder while I'm talking. It tickles, but I don't want to pull away.

"Yeah," he agrees. "That's probably the second best thing about this." 

"Only second?" 

He kisses my still wet forearm. "Nothing beats being with you. Also, I really liked it when you called me baby." 

That makes me laugh. "Wow, you're such a sap. Unbelievable. I'll see if I can find more reasons to call you that. Oh, and actually I had a question. Do you know if there are any clean clothes? I kinda forgot to check before I went in." 

He hums as he thinks about my question. "I think so. I'll go ask Flayn, I'll be right back." 

He starts to make a move to get up, but I don't want him to leave yet. 

"Wait, never mind. I don't need clothes. I'll stay naked like a baby." Why am I so desperate for him to stay? Is that normal?

He actually laughs. "There's no need for that, I'll find you something to wear. Just wait, I won't be long, I promise." 

He does get up this time, which I find regretful, to say the least. Before he leaves, however, he still gives me a kiss on my lips. 

His hand rests on my jaw as he presses his soft lips against mine. I don't know how long it's been since our last kiss, but it feels like forever ago. 

I want his kisses all the time. His kisses, hugs, dreamy and adoring looks, his full attention, his compliments… Now look who's sappy. 

As he pulls away with one last peck on my lips, he strokes my cheek lovingly before he walks over to the door.

"Why is it so hard to leave you, despite that we've been together non-stop the past time?" 

"Because I'm just that great," I answer. 

He chuckles. "You really are. I'll be right back." 

"I miss you already, baby." 

"You're so silly. Me too, though," he adds softly. 

And then the door closes and I'm alone again.

Alone… I used to be alone all the time. I didn't even have any problem with it. Hell, I actually preferred being alone. 

But now? I hate it. I hate this quiet void that can only be filled by the sound of someone else's voice. I hate having no one to talk to, no one to focus on but myself.

I don't want to get used to that feeling of loneliness again. Now that I finally know what's on the other side, I don't want to go back there. 

And it's not just friendships anymore. I'm actually in a romantic relationship with Dimitri. 

Mom, can you believe that? Someone loves me again. 

I can't help but smile whenever Dimitri pops up in my thoughts, which is honestly quite often. Am I as lovestruck as he? Is that even possible? 

The way he treats me... I mean, I said I'm not a princess, but he can keep treating me like one until the day I die. But am I doing enough for him in return? I feel like I'm not, and that seriously needs to change.

But what can I do? I can't start treating him like a princess, we'd be like a lesbian couple! Not that there's anything wrong with that, but we're both guys, it'd just be weird. 

Maybe I'll just spoil him a little tonight. Give him something he's been wanting, longing for, even. I can do that. There's no one around to see or hear us anyway, so it'll be okay even if I somehow mess it up. He'd still appreciate it.

I look at my wrinkled hand, just below the water's surface. I should probably start washing already. Maybe Dima will be back by the time I'm finished. That'd be great. 

There are a few different bottles with scented stuff, but none of them are labeled. How am I supposed to know which one's shampoo?

Hm, the one I'm currently holding smells better than the others. Guess I'll use this one for everything then. 

I spread some of the scented paste over both my hands before I rub it through my hair. Ack, there's knots everywhere. This is going to take a while, but at least I'll have something to focus on for the time being. 

As I rub through and untangle the knots from my hair, I hear a door opening and closing again. 

Dima! I'm so glad he decided we'd share a room. If he hadn't, I might have 'accidentally' gone into his room and stayed there for the night anyway. 

Three knocks on the bathroom door announce somebody's presence. 

"Who's there?" I ask, despite being almost certain it's Dimitri.

"It's just me," said man answers. "Dimitri," he clarifies.

I shake my head with a laugh. He can be so weird sometimes.

"You know you can just come in, right?" 

He opens the door and closes it after he enters the small bathroom. "Flayn found some clothes for both of us. I hope mine will fit me though," he says with furrowed eyebrows. 

"And if they don't, you could just leave them off," I tell him with a smile and a wink.

"Only if you don't mind," he replies after he laid the clothes on top of the small laundry bin. 

"Not me, I don't. I'm sure your body will feel a lot warmer without clothes anyway. I like that." I'm trying really hard to sound nonchalant about it, but I'm still pretty nervous about taking the next step already. 

I just hope he can't hear the small crack in my voice.

He settles back next to the bathtub on the same spot he sat before. "You enjoying yourself?" 

He takes a strand of shampooed hair and twirls it around his finger, leaving the strand to stand straight up on my head.

"I should ask you! What are you doing?" 

He laughs. "I'm making you the baby you wanted to be before. You're almost finished." 

He takes the same strand of hair and sticks it to my forehead this time, in the shape of a curl.

"Let me guess, all I need now is something to suck on?" 

He chokes on his own saliva, causing him to let go of my hair immediately. I just laugh at him loudly. He's too easy to rile up.

"That's not at all what I was going for," he claims, but I don't know if I believe that. "But never mind, you aren't allowed to be a baby anymore." 

"What? Why not? I'm so cute," I argue. 

"Yes, but babies are innocent. You're not," he says with a playful smile. 

"Oh, I see. You're being a pervert and now I'm getting the blame. Shame on you, Dimitri." 

Before he can reply, I submerge my head once more to rinse out the shampoo. The many knots are as good as gone, so I'll let Dimitri use the tub now. 

I just need to stand up and get out of the tub. It's not hard, just do it in one go. Don't think about the embarrassment of him seeing you naked, he deserves it. Come on, Claude, you're not a coward anymore.

My head emerges again and I make sure to squeeze as much water out of my hair before I decide to get up. I'm not stalling, I just hate the feeling of wet hair dripping over my back. That's all. 

"Uhm," I start intelligently, "can I have a towel?" 

"Oh, sure. I didn't think you'd be finished so soon." He gets up and looks in a few of the cabinets. 

Okay, this is a good time to just stand up and let the water out of the tub. It's efficient and easy. If my heart could just stop beating so damn fast.

I take a deep breath and stand up, but not before I almost slip back on my ass. Very smooth.

"This one should be big enough, but there are still more if you need anoth-" Dimitri turns around while holding a towel and just abruptly stops talking when his eyes land on me. 

I am feeling extremely self-conscious right now, but I'll just have to bite through this feeling. Despite Dimitri's shameless staring at my more private parts. I can literally see his eyes move along my chest, stomach, further down, then my legs, then further up again. 

His mouth is still forming the word 'another', but he doesn't make any sound, leaving his mouth agape. 

Coldness goosebumps start to form on my skin and I'm so hyper aware of myself, it's as if I can feel every single hair's movement. 

"I'd like that towel, please." If he keeps staring at me like that, my blush might actually get on his level.

He blinks a few times to get rid if his trance-like state before he looks down at himself. "Uhm, c-could you give me a few seconds? I'll give you the towel after, but I can't remove it from this spot right now." 

Is he saying what I think he is? Oh my fucking god. This is just amazing. 

If I weren't almost shivering from cold, I'd give him all the time in the world. But his panicked eyes tell me that his problem isn't fading yet, and I'd really like a towel to dry off. 

"Could you give me another one? I'm a little cold." 

"Ah! Yes, of course." He opens the cabinet again and takes another towel out of it, still holding the other one in front of his lower half.

Now I'm kinda curious. Damn it. 

He awkwardly shuffles forward a little so I can take the towel from him. 

"Thanks. I'll hurry so you can have some alone time. You look like you need it." I feel so bad for teasing him about this, but it's just too good not to.

I wrap the towel around my shoulders, which causes it to cover my naked body all the way to half my thighs. 

"Well, that's okay… Can I call you inside after?" He asks shyly.

He didn't even deny it. Does he even have any shame at all? Although, his straightforwardness and honesty is something I do really appreciate about him. I can't imagine myself trusting someone who keeps as much information from others as myself.

"Yeah, that's fine. Can I wash your hair?" I really wanna feel his hair.

He huffs a soft laugh and I'd be damned if it wasn't the most adorable one until now. "I'd like that. Thank you for not being bothered by… well… this." 

I snicker at that. "Hey, I'm a guy too. I know what that's like, don't worry about it. I'm about to move my towel though, so if you need to take any precautions, now's the time." 

He playfully rolls his eyes with a smile before he turns around. "I'm sure this will do the trick." 

"As long as you're sure about it," I say as I start drying off my hair. The rest of my body is already dry, except my lower legs and feet. 

Drying thick hair is such a drag. Literally the only good thing about it is that I'll probably never go bald. 

"I'm about to approach you by getting out of the tub. Take any necessary precautions," I warn again. 

"Ha ha, that's funny. I'm not going to hear the end of this anytime soon, am I?" 

I pretend to consider it. "Hmm, nah. Sorry." 

He huffs. "You don't even mean that." 

"Nope. But that's fine because you love me. And don't deny that or you'll break my heart." 

He huffs and laughs again while he shakes his head. 

Meanwhile, I'm already busy putting on the clothes he brought for me -I took the bigger ones so his won't fit- and draining the tub so I can fill it with clean water. 

"There. Take your time, the tub won't be filled within fifteen minutes anyway," I tell him before I give his lips a kiss. "Let me know when I can come in?" 

He rests his free hand on my hip to prevent me from pushing my body against his as he kisses me back. "Sure. Thank you." 

"Don't thank me," I say before I give him one more kiss, on his cheek this time. "Enjoy yourself!" 

I open the door quickly and exit through it before he can say anything back to me. 

Well, that was certainly a major confidence boost. Now I'm not even worried anymore that I might mess up tonight. Not that I'm planning on doing that much, just touching. Nothing definite yet. It's much too soon for that anyway. 

I jump onto the bed and lie on my stomach. Now what should I do? How did I used to entertain myself all on my own? It seems so long ago, I can't even remember what I used to keep myself busy with. 

I'll just wait for Dimitri then. Maybe he won't take too long. 

A few minutes pass with me just lying uselessly on the bed and it's driving me crazy. Doing nothing is not something I enjoy. I decide to get up and investigate this room a bit. 

It's nothing fancy, but it's bigger than my room in the monastery. A double bed actually fits in here. Then there's two nightstands at each side of the bed, but they're both empty. A large wardrobe is standing across the bed, and it's empty as well. 

And that concludes my investigation. I'm sure four whole minutes have passed. 

I flop down on the bed once more, groaning loudly into one of the head pillows. I'll just close my eyes for a few minutes. I hope Dima will call for me soon. 

Thankfully, around three or four minutes later, Dimitri's voice calls for me. It was soft, but I know I heard it.

"Yes, finally!" I shout before I'm about to barge into the bathroom.

"No! No, please don't enter! I was… I'm not finished yet, sorry." 

"Damn it," I mutter. 

I'm so bored. Maybe I should be happy that I have the privilege of being bored right now. But after having to literally fight for my life for so long, I really don't know how to deal with boredom anymore. 

I'm about to regret allowing Dimitri his alone time when he calls for me again. Loud and clearly, this time.

Before he has the chance to refuse my entrance again, I've already made my way inside the small bathroom.

"That was quick," he notices with a chuckle.

"Yeah, sure, laugh all you want. Just wait until the boredom virus infects you, you won't be laughing anymore. Hey, can I wash your hair?" 

"Yes, please." 

I grab the same bottle I used before and squeeze a generous amount of the content on Dimitri's head. "Keep your head like this, so it won't get in your eyes," I warn him.

He does as I say and keeps his head tilted upwards during the whole time I'm massaging the shampoo onto his scalp. 

"That feels really nice," he whispers. 

"I'm glad." His silky blonde hair feels really nice too. Just the way I imagined it would feel. I could play with his hair like this for hours and hours. 

Do I have a hair fetish? I hope not. I only like Dima's hair anyway. 

"How long are you going to keep this up?" He eventually asks. 

"Uhm, I was about done actually." I can't believe he called me out like this. I thought we were a team. 

He chuckles. "Alright, I'll rinse it off then." His head barely manages to submerge in the water. The bathtub is much too small for his tall body and the movement causes the water to flood over the edges, onto my clean pants and shirt. 

God damn it.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I ask right when his head pops back up.

"What do you mean?" 

I gesture to my now wet shirt and pants. 

"Ah," he says at first. "That's what you get for taking what isn't yours." 

"Oh. You saw that?" I didn't think he'd notice. 

He nods with a cheeky grin. "You should know by now that I'm always watching you. As creepy as that may sound." 

I laugh. "Yeah, you'd think I knew, huh. Guess I'm just not used to it yet." 

"I can hardly look at you even more than I already do. I don't know what else I can do for you to get used to it." 

"Just get out of there so we can go to bed and cuddle and stuff. I'll be in there already if you need me." I give his lips a peck with my own before I hand him a towel and leave the room. 

I would have stayed in there with him, but I needed some time to prepare myself anyway.

Obviously, I can't sleep in these wet clothes. Should I ask Dimitri to bring me the other pair? Or should I just sleep in my underwear? Dima wouldn't mind, would he? 

One way to find out. 

I pull the shirt over my head and toss it into a corner, followed by my pants. It's suddenly a lot colder without those two items. Guess I'll stick to my word and get in the bed already. 

"Dima, hurry up! I'm cold," I whine. 

I should have considered that the bed would be freezing cold, despite the thick blankets that are covering me.

"Sorry, I got stuck in the shirt. It's too small, I don't think I can wear it," he says right after he left the bathroom. 

"That's fine. I like this better anyway," I say as I eye his upper body. If he can stare at me, I'm allowed to stare back. 

He licks his lips in a nervous way. "I'm glad. You comfortable in there?" 

"Kinda, but having you here would definitely make it better." 

He doesn't hesitate as he walks up to the other side of the bed and settles under the blanket. 

Okay, this is it. No need to be nervous, he wants this too.

I shuffle closer to him to push my body flush against his. The change in temperature against my skin causes goosebumps.

His arm wraps around my middle to pull me even closer against his toned chest. Our legs intertwine with each other.

"It's kinda weird, huh? Lying in a bed together," I clarify. 

"Yeah. I'm glad we can though. You're absolutely beautiful, by the way. I was at a loss for words before, but I'll say it now. I've never seen anything as gorgeous and breathtaking as you." 

Ah, fuck. I'm blushing already and I'm not even doing anything yet. How am I supposed to go about this anyway? Do I just… start? 

Rather than answering him with words that I know can't even begin to get my feelings across, I just kiss him, slowly. I need him to know what I feel for him, because of him. He's allowed to, because he's the only one who can make me feel this way in the first place. 

I'm so grateful, so happy for his affection. He makes me feel loved, appreciated, wanted. He makes me feel important, special. Like I'm worth it to be with. Worth it to spend time and attention on. Worth it to be his, and worth it for him to be mine. 

A little over a month ago, if anyone had told me I'd be sharing a bed with Dimitri Blaiddyd for my first time, I don't know how hard I would have laughed in their face. 

But look at me now. Kissing, holding Dimitri like it's my every right to. And it feels like it is. 

***

We pull apart to catch our breaths for a few seconds. Dimitri leans back in first, nibbling on my lower lip gently. I'm not really an experienced kisser yet, but I have every intention of being one before tomorrow. 

I pull my lip out from between his teeth to try the same on him. A soft moan escapes his mouth and I feel a bubble of pride swelling inside of me. 

That's what I want; to make him feel good. To make him feel the same ways I do.

I run my hands, which were on his cheek and shoulder before, over his naked chest. My fingers leave traces of goosebumps on his delicate skin and I love how much I affect him.

"Mm, Claude," he breathes. 

Fuck, yes. 

"Hm?" I decide to feign innocence while my hands are still gently moving across his skin. 

"That feels nice," he whispers hoarsely before he captures my lips in a kiss once more. 

I've been preparing myself for the moment I feel his tongue against my lips again. It caught me off guard last time, but I'm expecting it now. 

But even now, there's still no tongue. If I knew how to initiate a tongue kiss, I would have taken charge myself, but the last thing I want is to ruin this amazing mood we both found ourselves in. 

Dimitri's hand moves from my middle to my hip, over the curve of my butt, to my thigh and then grabs and lays my leg over his own hip. 

"A-ah, Dima," I moan when he grinds against me once, experimentally. 

"I love your voice so much," he whispers before he attacks my jaw and neck with kisses and licks. 

"D-Dima," I whisper again because he seems to like it when I do that. 

The hand that was massaging my buttcheek gently starts sliding to the front of my underwear, where my body really wants his attention the most. I'm a bit too eager to allow him to touch me, so I spread my legs to give him better access.

His hand finally finds its way into my pants.

"O-oh, god..!" 

Holy fuck. I feel like my head is getting clouded with all sorts of feelings I've never felt before and even though it feels good to let go and just give in to the feelings, I don't want to give up the control. It scares me.

"Mm, Dima!" I slap my hand in front of my mouth. Crap, that was really loud.

As soon as Dimitri notices though, he moves my hand away from my mouth and kisses my fingers. "Don't hold back, love. Let me hear you." 

Ah, fuck. I'm done for. The intense look in Dimitri's eyes full of lust and want, his pupils blown wide, is almost the only thing I need to finish. 

"Dima, I-I'm gonna..!" Fuck, oh god. 

This is so much better than doing it by myself. 

"Good boy, let go now. For me?" Dimitri's other hand is stroking my cheek as he starts kissing my neck and chest. 

Those words are the last trigger for me and a loud cry coming from my own throat is the only warning Dimitri gets before I climax.

Holy shit. That was amazing. So much better than I could have ever hoped for. 

I close my eyes in pure bliss and I stay like that for a while. It always took me some time until I came down from my high, so this is probably going to take even longer. Good thing I have Dima here with me to make sure I'm okay. 

I half-notice a warm wet cloth between my legs and over my stomach before it disappears again. 

***

"You okay?" Dimitri asks after he lies down next to me again. His arms take hold of my still limp body and he starts kissing my cheek and jaw as he waits for my confirmation.

"I don't… I don't think I've ever been better. Thank you." I move my head to face his, but I keep my eyes closed. 

His lips briefly touch mine again with a small kiss before he pulls my body against his. I'm so happy and comfortable. I hope he is too, despite that I hardly even paid him any attention. 

We'll get 'em next time. 

"G'night, Dima," are the last words I can make my lips form. 

"Good night, love. Sleep tight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!


	32. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hello y'all I'm late but I have a good excuse so please hear me out
> 
> Tower of God
> 
> That's all hahahaha sorry I couldn't stop reading it I even skipped three days of Animal Crossing just to read it please don't hate me now
> 
> ANYWAYS thank you for alllllll the lovely comments I love you all and thank you for the awesome kudos I don't deserve them 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy this chapter!!

The following morning, I'm finding myself warm and comfortable, limbs tangled with Dimitri's under the thick blankets. 

"Mm, Dima," I groan. "What time is it?" 

I don't receive an actual answer, what I get is more like a yawn and a groan and a snore in one as Dimitri tries to lie on his other side. 

He can't really move though, since I'm lying on top of his upper body. 

I chuckle at his scrunched up face as he tries to wake up. "You're cute." 

It's weird, having just woken up and not finding myself in a bad or irritated mood. In fact, I'm feeling incredibly energetic and happy.

Is this an effect of waking up with your lover? Because if so, I don't wanna sleep alone anymore. 

"Good morning, love," Dimitri whispers. "Did you sleep well?" 

"Mhm, I slept amazing. Did you?" I kiss his chin. 

"Yeah, I did." He looks at me as I'm resting my chin just below his collarbone and if that isn't the look of a person who's completely smitten, I don't know what is.

His arm around my waist curls around it tighter so I won't slip off his body when he leans in to give me a kiss on my lips. His other hand takes a gentle hold of my curls on the back of my head. 

I could just stay here and kiss and cuddle with Dima forever. But we have business to attend, so I can't. Damn it.

"We should probably get up," I mutter. Before I change my mind.

"Can't we stay like this just a little bit longer?" 

I shake my head after I push myself off his chest. "No, not this time. We need to get together with the others and think of a plan." 

He sighs, but still nods. I'm glad he understands what's more important right now, despite how much I, too, want to just lie back down and relax.

"Maybe you'd like to put on pants first," he tells me with a cheeky smile. "Not that I mind, but the others might." 

Memories of last night come back to me and my cheeks actually start burning up. 

"I'll get you back for that, just wait." I really can't think of anything better to say and judging Dimitri's smug grin, he's totally onto me.

"I'm looking forward to it." 

Yeah, I'm sure you are. 

.

After Dimitri and I both got dressed, which took quite some time, I must admit, we're on our way towards the bedrooms the others are staying in. 

"I wanted to stay in our room longer," Dimitri admits to me. "Even though it was our first time being alone, I can't help but want more of it already." 

I sigh. "Yeah, I know, me too. When this is all over, we'll go live somewhere we can be alone all the time. How's that?" 

He smiles at me. "I'd love that. More than anything." 

Cute. "Then let's hurry up and take care of teach." 

"Ahem, take care of teach?" Flayn's voice sounds from up ahead. I didn't even notice her.

Dimitri needs to stop distracting me.

"Oh, Flayn! Good morning," Dimitri greets her enthusiastically. 

"Good morning, you both! I can see you spent your time well last night." She giggles as she eyes my neck. 

My hand reaches up to cover the spot she's looking and giggling at before I turn to Dimitri with a questioning look. 

"Ah, well, uhm. It's nothing to worry about." He pulls my shirt up a little higher so it covers my collarbones. "There, now it's gone." 

I still don't really get what this is about, but if Dimitri says it's fine, I'll believe him. He hasn't lied to me before, so why start now?

"Alright," I say before I turn back to Flayn. "Yes, we're going to take care of teach. Or excuse me, professor Byleth. There's gotta be a way to take care of him without having to fight him, but I want to discuss that with everyone else. Care to show us where they're staying?" 

She blinks at me before her signature cute smile pops back on her face. "Of course, come with me." 

That was odd. Does she not like the idea of us taking Byleth down? I don't see any other way to get out of here though. 

"Oh, sorry for forgetting to ask before, but how are Dedue and Annette?" I ask Dimitri. 

Flayn is walking ahead of us a small distance, so she doesn't get a chance to answer for him.

"That's okay, you had other things on your mind." He smiles, but I know I made a mistake by forgetting. "They seemed alright though. Annette regained consciousness for a few minutes and talked with us, but she fell back asleep soon after. Dedue looked alright as well, but he stayed unconscious throughout our whole stay." 

"That's great. Maybe we can visit them again today, see if they're both awake." I can't take them with me if they aren't, after all.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Will you come inside this time?" He asks.

"Yeah, if that's okay with you. I don't want to intrude." 

"Here we are! This is where Sylvain and Felix are sleeping," Flayn says as she gestures to a door. "And this is where Raphael and Linhardt are, and over there is where Lysithea is. I believe Lysithea was awake already, but I haven't seen or heard the others yet." 

"Thank you, Flayn. You're really incredibly helpful. Thank you so much," Dimitri says and I can tell he's being earnest about it.

"Yeah, thank you for everything you've told and shown us," I add. 

"Oh, please! Helping is what I live for, no need for such words." She giggles. "Breakfast will be served on the ground floor, but make sure you won't be late! I'll be in the kitchen, helping with serving food to the elders if you need me for anything else." 

"We'll be there," I tell her. "Thanks again, even though you don't want to hear it." 

She giggles again before she walks past us towards the staircase.

Hm, I thought she'd stick around to help us with forming a plan to get past Byleth. Guess not. 

"I'll wake up Felix and Sylvain," Dimitri offers. "Even though Felix may not seem like it, he has a bad habit of sleeping in." 

Wow, that is unexpected. "Okay. I'll try to do the impossible and wake up Linhardt and Raph." 

He chuckles before he gives me a kiss on my forehead. "See you whenever, then." 

I laugh. "Yeah, until we meet again." 

I enter the room Flayn said is Raphael and Linhardt's and I can hear Dimitri opening the other door. 

The first thing I hear is Raphael's loud, rumbling snoring. Good thing Linhardt can sleep in literally any position and situation, or else he'd have had a rough night last night. 

I walk over to the window to open the curtains and let some sunlight in the dark room. 

"Much better," I mumble. "Alright guys, get up! We need to make a plan." 

I turn around to face the two single beds to see if there's any movement yet, but I'm not even granted a small interruption in Raphael's snoring. 

Of course this couldn't be that easy. They're monsters. 

Now what do I do? I could look for something noisy, but I'd rather not wake up the rest of the building while I'm at it. 

Hmm… Maybe if I… Yes, that should work. 

I head over to Raphael's bed and sit down next to it so I can face Raphael.

"Hey, big guy. Breakfast is being served downstairs. It's a huge buffet, with all sorts of bread, fruit and meat." 

His snoring stops momentarily, urging me to keep talking. 

Alright, hehe. "If we don't hurry, we'll be too late and we won't get anything. All that'll be left is vegetables and you really hate vegetables." I emphasize the last few words to make sure he'll react. 

And react he does. 

His eyes fly open with a loud snort. "No! Give me meat!" 

He sits up and rubs his eyes, taking turns with his one hand with a loud yawn. 

"Good morning!" I greet him cheerfully. 

"Hey! Good morning, Claude. What brings you here?" 

"I came to wake you and Linhardt up. On second thought though, could you take over for me? I need to check on Lysithea too." I'll just pass on this task to him. His loud voice is bound to be more successful than mine anyways.

"Sure, leave it to me!" He booms. 

I pat his shoulder before I take my leave. When I get back in the hallway, I hear voices coming from Sylvain's room. I guess they're awake then. 

I head over to Lysithea's bedroom and knock on her door. 

"Hey, you up yet?" I ask through the closed door. I'm not about to barge into a girl's room, even I have better manners than that.

"Yes, but I'm still getting dressed so don't you dare come in!" 

"Yeah, sure. Got it." Good thing I didn't. 

I decide to just wait in the hallway now. I think everyone'll come out soon and then we can start thinking of a solution for our teacher problem.

The first to exit their room is Lysithea, dressed in a short skirt and an oversized t-shirt tucked into it. 

She catches my look. "Don't say a word, this was the only somewhat female outfit I could find." 

I raise my hands in a surrendering gesture. "Sure, I'm not judging. You look great." 

And she does. She actually looks well-rested and clean compared to yesterday. 

"I said, don't say a word! Not even any compliments, it's embarrassing!" Her cheeks start coloring a slight pink and she tries to pull her short skirt down a little so it covers more skin. 

"Okay, fine. Sorry." Girls are so difficult. 

"So, do you want to take care of the professor today, or..?" She asks quietly. 

I consider it for a second. The sooner we get rid of the magic, the better. Obviously. But Annette and Dedue are in no state to accompany us outside. 

"That's a good question. We'll discuss that with everyone in just a bit, since I don't want to make that decision on my own." 

She nods and stays quiet after that, still nervously pulling on her skirt. 

Dimitri steps out of Sylvain's room now and I can literally see his eyes light up when he makes eye contact with me. He's so into me. 

I smile at him when he approaches Lysithea and me. He fixes my shirt for me again before he starts talking. 

"Felix and Sylvain will be ready soon. Did you manage to wake up Raphael and Linhardt?" 

"Yeah, well, just Raphael. I asked him to wake Linhardt while I went to check on Lysithea." 

He nods before he leans against the wall next to where I'm standing. "I'm nervous. I'm not sure why, but I just have a weird feeling in my stomach." 

"Me too," Lysithea agrees. "I have been since we got here. Maybe because we're so close to our goal now?" 

"Hm, maybe. We'll see how the next few days go. Hopefully we'll get to release the magic soon." 

Lysithea and I both agree with that. We're really so close to our goal now. But can we make it? With this small group, are we strong enough to fight Byleth if it came down to it? 

I know that avoiding Byleth is a must, but what if we can't? And what if destroying the magic source isn't as easy as we kept thinking it will be? 

No, I need to stop. We chose for this fate, so we will follow it through. Together, until the end. 

Sylvain's door opens once more, revealing Felix and Sylvain. They're both dressed in casual clothes Flayn probably lent them. 

"Good morning, guys," I greet them. "Good to see you looking refreshed." 

"Yeah, good to be feeling refreshed!" Sylvain laughs brightly. "And good morning to you all as well. And you look amazing today Lysithea." 

She rolls her eyes before she mutters something that sounds like 'ugh, I did not sign up for this', as she pulls on her skirt once more. 

"Good morning," Felix grunts as well. 

Even Felix looks like he had some good rest. I'm glad about that, I think we all really needed it. 

"So, what are we all doing in the hallway?" Felix asks.

"We're just waiting for Raphael and Linhardt. They should be ready soon," I answer. 

As if Raphael was waiting for his cue, he opens the door right after I'm done talking. 

"Good morning, everyone!" He shouts. "Now, where was breakfast being served?" 

"We're probably going to have breakfast after we decided on a plan, so please be patient just a bit longer," Dimitri informs.

"Aw, I was looking forward to some beef." 

Linhardt exits the room after Raphael and I can safely say that he's the only person who doesn't look energized after a good night's sleep.

"You doing okay there?" I ask him.

He finishes yawning. "Yes, why do you ask?" 

Weird. "You just look like you had a bad night. Did Raphael's snoring get to you after all?" 

"No, not at all. I slept great. These beds are very comfortable." 

"Maybe," Lysithea starts, "he just doesn't look better than usual because he's always well-rested." 

That makes a lot of sense.

"Good morning to you as well, Lysithea," Linhardt greets. "And the rest of you also." 

After everyone greeted Linhardt and Raphael, I suggest we all go to one room to think of a plan. 

"I don't think you wanna use our room," Sylvain says with an apologetic smile. "We didn't really count on company." 

"Don't say 'we', when it's just you who made a mess," Felix bites. 

"Felix, don't expose me like that!" Sylvain exclaims. "I thought we were friends." 

"Let's just go to my room," Lysithea suggests. "Before y'all start fighting again." 

She already starts heading to her room before anyone can even answer. Seems that she's really serious about this one. 

The rest of us follow without a word and we all settle on the two beds in her bedroom. 

I guess it's up to me again to start talking.

"So, everyone. Now that we're here and we received knowledge on what exactly is going on and how this mess happened, I think it's time we finally put an end to this chaos. And the only way to do that, is to get rid of the magic spell that's controlling the infected. Now, we can't say for sure that teach is hiding the magic source, but there's a big chance he is. That's why we're gonna have to go back to Byleth and see if he is hiding something. And how we'll do that is what I want to discuss with you guys right now." 

"Really, we're gonna have this conversation now?" Linhardt groans. "I thought Flayn was going to help us, too." 

"Yeah, where is Flayn? Don't tell me she's having breakfast on her own!" Raphael yells. 

"No, she's not," I answer them both. "She said she was going to help serve breakfast to the elders, so she's not having this conversation with us." 

"Isn't it better if we do have this conversation with her then?" Sylvain mingles in as well. "I mean, she's the only one who knows Byleth somewhat." 

Looks like we're including Flayn after all. I really got the impression she didn't want to join us before, so I hope she'll be willing after breakfast. 

"Alright, we'll go have breakfast first and then we'll have a talk, with Flayn." 

"Breakfast, here we come!" Raphael shouts as he gets up and heads out the door, followed closely by everyone except Dima and myself. 

"Is there a reason why you don't want Flayn to join? She's been really helpful to us," Dimitri says as he takes my hand to help me off the bed.

Not like I need help, but I appreciate the gesture. 

"It's not that," I answer. "I just… you know, she reacted weird when I said we were going to take care of Byleth. Didn't you see?" 

He ponders it over, but then shakes his head. "No, I can't say she reacted unusually. And we can't really blame her if she would get upset about her dear professor. Perhaps she has an explanation herself." 

That makes sense. "Yeah, you're right. I guess I'm just getting a bit paranoid from all this thinking." 

"Don't do that. You'll get wrinkles." He chuckles. 

"Thinking won't give me wrinkles," I defend. "Smiling will though." I wink at him and he drops his grin immediately. 

"Fine, I'll stop then." 

I lean closer to him to give him a kiss on his cheek. "Don't do that, you're really handsome when you smile." 

"Could you hurry up for once in your lives?" Felix' voice sounds from outside the room Dimitri and I are still in. 

"Better get going," Dimitri says before he kisses my lips twice. 

.

We finally find our way to the kitchen, which is attached to a large dining hall. It's a bit smaller than the one in the monastery, but still big enough to fit in at least eighty people. 

Most of the eating guests are elders, but there are also plenty of younger people, presumably staff members. 

"I didn't expect this to be so big!" Lysithea exclaims. "No wonder Flayn had to help with serving breakfast." 

"You guys go and get some food. I'll see if I can find Flayn anywhere." Maybe she'd like to eat breakfast together with us. 

They nod and walk over to where the food is being handed out. Dimitri looks back at me once, and I smile at him before I head over to the kitchen. Flayn said that's where she'd be after all. 

"Excuse me," I say as I bother a young man who's helping with cleaning dishes. "Do you maybe know where I can find Flayn?" 

"Flayn? Yeah, she's in the back. Just cross through this area and enter the door in the back." He points at a spot way in the back of the kitchen where the door probably is.

I'm dreading having to cross the kitchen area with so many people running around, but I guess I don't really have a choice. 

As best as I can, I avoid bumping into anyone on my way to Flayn. The last thing I want is to ruin breakfast for these old people. 

I've finally made it to the door and Flayn's bright green hair is the first thing I see when I open it. 

"Hey, Flayn? Are you busy?" 

She turns around with a surprised face before she smiles when she sees it's just me.

"Oh, Claude! I'm glad you made it here in time. I was worried you might find your plan more important than breakfast!" She giggles. 

Well, yes I do actually. 

"Well we'd decided we were going to eat before we'd discuss our next move. Did you want to join us?" I'm standing in the way of a middle- aged guy's walking path, so I move out of the way with an apology. 

When I refocus on Flayn, I notice her smile seems forced now. "I'd love to! I'll finish here in just a few seconds, so you can go ahead already. I'll be right behind you!" 

Was her smile always forced? I can't say I noticed before, but it was obvious just now.

"Sure, see you in a bit." 

I walk back out of the small room and make my way to the table my friends are seated on. 

"Flayn's coming, might take a few minutes though," I inform them as they look at me curiously.

"Sweet. So she's helping us then?" Sylvain asks. 

I nod. "Yeah, I think so." 

Right then, Flayn walks over and takes the seat next to Raphael. "I'm so sorry for being late. I hope you're enjoying the food though!" 

"Yeah, this is great! I haven't had such good food in a very long time!" Raphael tells her with a huge grin. 

"I'm so very glad!" 

They're both smiling brightly at each other and it momentarily stops my suspicions of Flayn today. I know what Dima said makes sense, that she's upset that we might fight her dear teacher, but she said she wanted to help us, right? 

Actually, now that I think about it, she was more excited to come to the monastery with us than helping us with the magic. Maybe she doesn't want to help us after all? 

The last thing I want is to force her into this. 

"Can't we talk now?" Linhardt asks. "We're all together now anyway and it would save time. And stairs." 

"Especially stairs, huh?" Lysithea wears a cheeky grin as she nudges him with her elbow.

He doesn't respond though, instead just yawns. 

"That's a possibility," I reply. "So, what I was thinking is, maybe we could somehow distract teach to make sure he won't kill us all immediately. But that's obviously dangerous, so if anyone else got a better idea, please tell me." 

They all stay quiet for a while, thinking of some other idea that would be less risky, but I know it's more difficult than it sounds. 

We can't afford to get engaged in a fight with Byleth, or he'll kill us all. The best option we have, is to make sure we stay out of his reach at all times. But since his range of attacking is so large, it might be impossible to get to the magic without entering the Byleth-attacking-zone. Therefore, someone will have to draw Byleth's attention and stay out of reach while the rest of us finds the magic and destroys it. 

If only it could really be that easy. 

"Well," Flayn begins, "you can't fight the professor, you'll lose. But your idea is still really dangerous. Do you really think you'll be able to pull it off so easily?" 

"It won't be easy, but we already knew it wouldn't be. We're willing to take a risk if we have to," I answer her. 

"Claude? What if we can somehow hit Byleth with a magic attack like Hades?" Linhardt suggest. "That spell works from a distance, so we could probably stay out of reach while casting it. And it would definitely have effect, as we've seen before." 

"Right, then I'll just have to make sure to draw his attention and boom, he'll be gone!" Lysithea fills in.

I consider their plan. If they can pull that off, we won't have to be bothered about Byleth anymore. He'll die once, which will decrease his strength and speed and from then on, it'll be much easier to take him on. 

"But what if you miss?" Flayn counters. "The risk is much too great." 

I shake my head. "But it's probably the safest way, despite the risk. As long as they do stay out of Byleth's range, they can even try more than once, just in case they miss." 

Lysithea nods. "Alright, then that's settled! I'll take care of Byleth while the rest of you find the magic and destroy it." 

"Yeah, you're not doing it alone, Lysithea. Linhardt will stick with you," I tell her. I'm not letting her do something this dangerous without the possibility to get healed if it goes wrong. 

She huffs. "I'll be fine, what about you guys? If Byleth decides to turn around and attack you after all, then-" 

"We'll just stick close together," I interrupt. "Last time, he couldn't see us individually so he couldn't launch an attack. We'll make use of that." 

She nods, but I can see she's unsure about it. Linhardt actually takes it upon himself to ease her nerves a little as he starts explaining his theory around the infected's vision. Good boy.

"And, uhm, when are we gonna execute this master plan? Today, or..?" Sylvain asks. 

"I want to do it today. We're all in good condition now and I don't want to waste more time than necessary. We'll come back for Dedue and Annette once we've cleared this mission." This is for the better. Even if we wait a few days, there's no guarantee Dedue or Annette will be in any state to accompany us already. 

He swallows, but still nods. "Yeah, alright. They didn't seem to be in such a good state anyways." 

Huh? They're not? 

I look at Dimitri, but he's looking at Sylvain with surprised eyes. 

"What do you mean? I thought they looked alright," Dimitri says. 

Sylvain gives him an incredulous look. "Seriously? They wouldn't even wake up for more than five minutes. I don't think that's a good sign." 

Dimitri's eyebrows furrow at that. "But their wounds were healed." 

"Yeah, but what good is that if they can't regain consciousness?" Sylvain argues. "And Annette didn't even seem cheerful when she woke up. Please explain that." 

Dimitri's eyebrows are still furrowed as he tries to think of some explanation for Annette's behavior. I don't know the girl too well, so I can't really give my opinion on this.

When I look at Felix, his scowl seems more apparent than on a regular day. Is he worried about them too? But that doesn't make sense, Dedue and Annette are both well being cared for in here. 

Right? 

"Maybe she just really wasn't feeling well," Dimitri says.

Sylvain sighs. "But you said yourself her wounds are healed, so why wouldn't she?" 

"Can you guys shut up?" Felix butts in. "We'll get back to them later. We got other things to worry about right now." 

Flayn was awfully quiet during their argument. She takes care of patients, why can't she ease their minds a bit? 

Linhardt's foot kicks me under the table, drawing away my attention from Dimitri and Sylvain. 

'I need to talk to you', he mouths at me before he points at Flayn. 

Something about Flayn? I want to hear his thoughts, but I can't just start talking about her with everyone chilling around us. 

It seems that Linhardt took notice of my inner struggle; "Claude, I'd like to discuss something with you and Lysithea. It's about the plan, I'm sure the others won't be interested." 

I don't miss a beat as I stand up to lead the two of them to the hallway so we can talk privately. 

"What? Why?" I can hear Lysithea ask, but her protests don't lead to much. Linhardt takes hold of her arm and drags her along after me.

"So, why do we need to discuss our plan in private? Maybe the others have a good idea too." Lysithea eyes both Linhardt and me suspiciously.

"This isn't about the plan," Linhardt sighs. "It's about Flayn. Remember when she taught us her healing spells? She lingered behind in the patient's rooms after we were done healing." 

"Well, yes. What about that?" She asks, still squinting her eyes at him.

"You didn't find that weird?" 

"You know," Lysithea starts, "not everything has a deeper meaning. And I'm talking to both of you. Stop suspecting every living thing already. Flayn is doing an amazing job here! She's helping everyone who comes to this village with whatever they need, including us with our needs. So stop your nonsense!" 

She turns around to stomp back into the dining hall and return to her seat. 

"She can say whatever she wants, but I still find it weird that Dedue and Annette aren't healed yet. Especially because Flayn is such a good healer. They should have been fine already, yet they can't even regain consciousness," Linhardt speculates.

"She's been behaving weird today too," I add. I know I can trust Linhardt with this. We tend to be on the same page with our distrusts.

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, silently asking me to elaborate.

"It just seems like she's against us going through with our plan," I explain. 

"If that's true," he ponders aloud. "Could it be she's trying to prevent us from leaving at all? It would explain why Dedue and Annette are immobilized." 

Okay, no. That's just… offensive. There's no way Flayn has such a motive, not when she's been helping us wherever she can. 

"Why don't we go and check on Annette and Dedue?" Linhardt suggest. "We'll see for ourselves what's going on with them." 

"Yeah, we'll do that." 

.

After sneaking into the other building with patients and walking up the stairs, Linhardt and I find ourselves standing in front of Dedue and Annette's room. 

"Hold on," Linhardt pants. "Stairs are… not a good friend of mine." 

"Sure," I laugh. "Let me know when you're ready." 

This is the first time Linhardt and I are doing something together. I have to admit, he really won my trust over. Even we've come a long way since we decided to just trust each other until we found a reason not to anymore. 

I'm glad I decided to trust him though. He's my ally, and a friend. 

"Okay, I'm ready." 

I nod before I gently knock on the door. I don't get an answer, so I open the door slightly to peer inside. 

The room is dark, probably because it's still rather early. 

"Isn't it better if we wait a bit longer? It's still early," I say as I look back at Linhardt.

"Do you really think we'll get another moment to check on them? And don't even think that I'm running up all these stairs again," he hisses back at me.

Okay, fine. "Stamina is a thing, you know." 

"My brain works better than my body, now just get in there before we get caught." He pushes me inside the room before he enters after me and closes the door behind him.

The two beds in the room are both occupied, so they're likely Annette and Dedue. 

"They said Annette had regained consciousness, right?" Linhardt asks as he walks over to the bed with the smaller lump.

"Yeah, it was Annette," I confirm for him before I walk over to the windows to let some light into the room.

"Thank you. I'm going to run a few tests on both of them to see what exactly is stopping them from waking up, so you just do whatever. I'll let you know what I find when I'm done." 

Well, okay. "Let me know if I can help with anything." 

"Will do," he says. 

I decide to sit in one of the visitor's chairs while Linhardt is busy with his tests. He starts with Annette. He checks her temperature, heartbeat and blood pressure, checks her eyes and then performs a few healing spells on her. 

"Hmm," is all he says before he moves on to Dedue to repeat the ritual. 

"You finding anything?" I ask. I'm dying here. 

"I think so," he answers, but doesn't elaborate.

When he's finished with Dedue's check-up, he starts looking in all the cabinets and drawers. 

I don't know what he's looking for, so I don't make a move to get up and help him.

"Ah, that's interesting," he mutters while looking at some sort of bottle containing a strangely colored liquid. 

He places it in his pocket, rather than putting it back where he found it. 

"They've been drugged with the medicine I just found. That's why they can't wake up. I'll hold on to this bottle and do some more research on it before I can tell what exactly it does to them," he finally explains to me.

"Drugged? Do you maybe know why?" 

He shrugs. "To prevent them from leaving, just like us."

This again. 

"That's very unlikely. Any other reason?" I ask. 

"I believe this particular medicine gets used to calm or even sedate a patient when a high dose is used. I doubt either of them were behaving uncontrollably though, so I'll stick with my theory if you don't mind. Let's go back to the others before we're gone for too long." He already heads over to the door to exit. 

A medicine used to calm or sedate? That's indeed weird. Maybe to prevent them from agitating their wounds while they're sleeping? There's no way it's being used on them to prevent them from waking up at all. I refuse to believe that. 

But I'm still secretly very glad that no one of my squad was in such a bad state that they had to be treated in this hospital. 

I follow him out the door, but before I close it, I hear a soft whimper coming from behind me. 

Did I imagine that? Linhardt is already near the staircase, but I want to make sure I really heard what I just heard. I turn back around and re-enter the room.

"Annette? Dedue? Are you awake?" I whisper. 

I don't receive an answer immediately. I did hear something though, I'm sure of it. 

"It's me, Claude. Did either of you say something just now?" 

"C-Claude? From the monastery?" A soft voice whispers at me. 

"Annette? Are you okay? What are they doing to you guys?" I rush over to her bed. 

"Claude, help us," she whispers. "Please, get us out." 

"What's going on? Are they hurting you?" 

She shakes her head. "I don't know, but I'm scared. Please, just get us out of here." 

"Is Dedue okay?" I ask her. 

"I don't know. He hasn't woken up yet, I think." 

Shit, what should I do?

"Can you walk?" 

She shakes her head. "No, I'm too weak. I don't know what they've done to us, but I feel much worse than when I came in." 

"Okay, here, grab my hand. I'll get you out of this room at least." But then where do I take her? To Dima and my room? That's way too far away, I don't know if I'll make it. 

She does as I say, taking my hand with her own severely trembling one. I shove the blankets off her so I can pull her closer to the edge of the bed. 

I'm happy she's so small, carrying her won't be a problem at all. 

Crap, Linhardt's still out there too. I hope he noticed I wasn't following him earlier. Maybe he's waiting for me somewhere. Anything is fine, as long as he isn't back with the others yet. 

"Here, hold on to me," I guide her frail arm around my neck so I can carry her bridal style.

Damn, she's light. Did she even eat?

I open the door to the hallway and look around to see if anyone's approaching us. Good thing it's empty. 

"I'm so glad to see you're okay," Annette whispers to me.

"I'm really happy to see you too. You and Dedue as well." 

She smiles before she lays her head against my shoulder to rest. Maybe the medicine is still in her system. I gotta hurry and hide her somewhere. 

Dima and my room it is after all. 

I close the door behind me after I fully step into the hallway. I look around once more and thankfully, the coast is still clear for now.

I hurry to the staircase, but I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. 

"Shit." 

I turn around and speedwalk to the other side of the hallway. There has to be a staircase somewhere around here too. 

"Excuse me, what are you doing?" The voice of the person who just came up the stairs calls out to me. 

Without looking back at who that was, I open the door to the staircase and hurry it down. 

Mission save Annette starts here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehhehehe got you good with the pure Flayn act didn't I


	33. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellohellohello
> 
> So this chapter was not what I intended to write at first but I still like how it turned out 
> 
> Hope y'all feel the same way 
> 
> Enjoy!!!

I hurry down the stairs with Annette in my arms. It's a good thing she's asleep, I keep almost tripping over my own feet while running and I don't want to scare her. 

I hear footsteps above me, indicating the person who just saw me is chasing me now. 

"Fuck me," I huff. 

It doesn't take long until I'm on the ground floor. Now I just need to find the exit so I can get into the other building and take her to my room. 

That sounds so wrong. 

I gotta be fast though. The person chasing me is getting closer and I can't see any exit. 

I decide to just start walking and see where that'll take me. I pass a few rooms, but there's no door that leads to outside. 

Damn, wrong way.

I turn back around, but the person who was following me is standing right behind me.

I don't know why I'd been hoping it was Linhardt. Of course I'm not that lucky.

"What are you doing with that girl?" The woman asks. 

That's a great question. "She's not hurt anymore, so I'm taking her to the other building. You know, where she can rest." 

She scrutinizes me from top to toe. "I haven't seen you here before." 

"That's… very possible! Yeah, because I'm an intern and I just started here yesterday. I've been getting these unlucky jobs, but I hope to become a good caretaker one day! It was very nice to meet you, but I really gotta leave now." I bow politely. 

She actually stops squinting her eyes at me. "Ah, of course. If you're looking for the exit, it's right there behind me. Make sure you hurry, she looks cold."

"Yes, ma'am!" 

Thank you, whoever gave me the ability to lie so easily. 

I walk past the woman to get to the exit and I leave the building just as quickly. Okay, now where do I go? 

The other building is right there, but I don't want to enter near the kitchen and dining hall. I'm sure I'll receive questions if I get caught like this and Annette isn't awake to support my story.

The door behind me opens and the woman from before sticks her head through the opening. 

"The entrance is on that side of the building. You'll need to remember the way if you want to become a good caretaker. Hurry along now." 

The door closes again and I'm very grateful to this woman, even though she's obviously not pleased with my actions. 

Luckily there's nobody else around, so I can safely make my way to the entrance and walk through it without any more interruptions. 

"Annette, you okay?" I ask, but she's not answering. Her eyes are closed and her body doesn't move the slightest bit. 

I wish Linhardt had more information about the drug they gave her. I just hope it doesn't damage her health in any worse way than it's been doing. 

I enter the building and it takes me a few seconds to figure out just where I am. It really doesn't help that all hallways and doors look exactly the same. 

That woman would be useful right now. 

A voice I don't recognize approaches me from one of the side hallways. It sounds male, or female, I'm actually not even sure. Should I ask them for directions, using the same lie as before? But if this person recognizes me, it could mean great trouble for me and possibly Annette as well.

It's better that I just get out of here without being seen by anyone. I rush towards where the staircase is supposed to be, but I notice far too late that I have to pass by the dining hall to reach it. 

God... fucking, crap.

Just be casual. No problem. 

I stroll past the dining hall in the most normal looking way I can muster. What's the chance of someone looking this way right as I pass by and recognizing me anyways? That has to be too minimal to even be possible. 

I need to stop being so stressed over everything. 

I make it past the open door of the dining hall and the world doesn't even end. Wow, amazing. 

"Was that Claude?" I hear Flayn's voice behind me.

Of course. Nothing can ever go the way I want it to, can it? 

Before I can even wait for anyone else to notice me, I take a sprint towards the end of the hall. But where is the staircase?

Good thing I do have stamina, compared to a certain sleepy healer. 

"Claude, what are you doing?!" Dimitri's voice calls out to me. 

Fuck, not Dimitri… 

"I'll explain later!" I shout back. "Just trust me!" 

"Stop running! What are you doing with Annette? She needs to rest, you idiot!" Sylvain's voice is chasing me now as well. 

Fuck, where are those damn stairs? 

I decide to keep running for now and explain everything to the others when Annette is safe and resting in my bed. 

At least, if they give me the chance to. 

Felix is a lot quicker than I expected and he catches up to me in no time at all. 

He forces me to stop moving completely by actually putting his sword to my throat. I didn't even notice he'd been carrying it around.

"Now, maybe you should let go of Annette." He glares at me. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted you just because Dimitri told me to." 

"No, wait. I can explain," I try, but he puts more pressure on the sword against my throat.

"Be quiet. And don't come closer, you! This is all because you enabled him of doing this!" Felix looks at someone behind me, but I'm scared to turn my head to look who it is. 

Has Felix been waiting for a chance to call me out? Did he not trust me at all this whole time? 

Then why did he come with us? Just to fight Byleth, like he said he wanted to? 

"I told you he's up to no good! And now he's planning on doing something to your hurt friend. How awful…" Light steps make their way towards Felix and me. When the steps pass me, I can see Flayn's bright green curls.

"You..!" I yell at her. The sword actually pierces my skin to prevent me from talking, drawing a bit of blood from the small wound. It stings. 

"Claude… How could you?" There's something dark in Flayn's eyes, something I recognize all too well. "You came here with such meaningful words, yet… this is how things are turning out?" 

What in the world is going on? Is she putting my friends against me? But why? 

"Felix, please lower your sword, there's no need for-" 

"Shut your mouth!" Felix interrupts Dimitri's pleading. "It seems that Claude's had other intentions from the beginning, rather than helping everyone. And him carrying around Annette is just proof of that." 

"No, listen to me! Annette and Dedue are-" 

"Silence!" Flayn screams at me. "Can't you see what you're doing, Claude? You're hurting her, and by doing that, your own friends! I don't understand why you would take her out of her room, it's not good for her health." 

Seriously? 

Sylvain steps past me and joins Felix and Flayn, who are both standing in front of me. 

"Please let go of Annette now," he says with a soft, but threatening voice. "Before I do something I might regret later." 

"Why would you even warn him?" Felix spits. "Let's just take her back, he can't win from all of us." 

This can't be happening. Can someone pinch me? This must be a bad dream. They're turning their backs on me now? 

"Where's Linhardt?" He knows exactly what's up, he even has the medicine they used on Annette! 

"Why are you asking us? Linhardt went away with you, remember?" Lysithea reminds me.

Is she doubting me too? There's no way! After everything… 

But that means Linhardt didn't make it back to them. Then where did he go? 

"Claude, please tell us it's not true…" Dimitri's voice sounds from behind me.

"What? Tell you what isn't true? I don't know what the hell you're all thinking, but I've done nothing wrong..!" I'm starting to get angry now, even though I know I should keep my head cool.

"That you're planning on sacrificing us! Please…" Dimitri sounds utterly defeated. 

Sacrificing them? Sacrificing who for what purpose? 

Is that what Flayn wants to do? Is that why she's been drugging Dedue and Annette? 

"I don't want to sacrifice anyone! What the fuck even?! Flayn, what have you told them?!" 

Stay calm. Just breathe. There's no way they'll believe Flayn over me, right? Although she's been doing an amazing job at keeping up her goody-two-shoes act. 

"Look," I take a deep breath. "I'm just taking Annette to our room so she can rest. Linhardt and I-" 

"Where is he? Where's Linhardt?!" Lysithea demands. 

"I don't know! He was supposed to go back to you guys but I don't know where he went!" 

"You took him somewhere to prepare to sacrifice him and that's where you're trying to take Annette too." Felix presses the sword against my throat again. "Don't act dumb, Flayn told us everything about your plan. After she heard where you came from, she knew exactly what you were planning on doing here." 

"What? What is that? Please tell me too. I wanna hear what I came here to do instead of getting rid of this damn spell. Please enlighten me, Flayn." 

She falters a bit, but recovers too soon for anyone else to notice. "You are going to take them to professor Byleth to offer their bodies so you can gain favor from the mages. So they'll help you with getting back to your home country." 

I snort. And the snort turns into soft giggling, which becomes a full out uncontrollable laughter. I understand what Dimitri must have felt when I told him about Edelgard. 

"That's ridiculous! What do I have to search for over there? I have absolutely nothing to gain from doing such a thing!" 

"Your father…" Lysithea answers. "You told Ignatz, Marianne and myself back then that you wanted to travel and meet your father again." 

"Is that true, Claude? Is that really what you want?" Dimitri asks.

"I… I did say that. But this has nothing to do with that goal. I'm here right now to take care of the magic spell, that's all!" Please believe me.

Dimitri, Lysithea, please. I would never sacrifice anyone for a stupid personal goal like mine. Never! 

Annette, please wake up. Tell them what they've been doing to you. Or Linhardt, please just turn the corner over there and clear up this misunderstanding with your delightful annoying sarcasm. 

Please, anyone. Isn't Raph around? He'd believe me, right?

Flayn sighs. "I think we've heard enough, Claude. Please let go of Annette, she's done nothing to deserve such a horrendous fate that you're planning on giving to her. None of your friends do, for that matter. Maybe it's best that you will be locked away, in a place where you can't harm anyone." 

Sylvain steps closer to me to take Annette from my arms. "I really thought you were better than this, Claude. I can't believe I let you get this close to Dimitri." 

It feels weird, standing here now without Annette's weight in my arms. I feel naked, exposed, even though everything they just accused me of is a lie. 

"Listen, Linhardt and I-" I try again, but Flayn turns to me to stop me from talking.

"Haven't we heard enough of your nonsense already? We figured out what you're up to, Claude. Just accept it, you've lost. I won't let you sacrifice the lives of these precious people. You don't deserve them." 

Tears of frustration and disappointment start forming in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. 

How could they do this to me? After everything we went through together, everything I did for them and everything I already sacrificed to get them this far… They still believe Flayn? Flayn, with her fake act and bullshit? 

What the hell happened when Linhardt and I were gone? Did Lysithea tell Flayn about our doubts? Did Lysithea tell Flayn about my past then, too? Or was this already going on before we went? 

Flayn had been acting weird since this morning. No, scratch that, Flayn has been weird since she approached us yesterday. Why did she? Why would she approach a group of strangers, covered in blood and dirt, invite them into her home, tell them everything that she knows, and then stab me in the back like this? 

Is it really all to protect her dear teacher? Or is there more to it than that? 

Whatever it is, I doubt I'm going to find out. 

Annette's body is getting taken to Dimitri, who's still standing behind me. Sylvain then grabs both of my arms and holds them behind my back, preventing me from doing anything to stop him. 

This sword against my throat is terrifying. I don't even know what I could do to save myself. They won't listen to me. They only listen to Flayn's bullshit and I can't even prove that she's lying. 

"Like I said," Flayn starts. "I think it would be best if you got locked up in a place where you won't be able to put harm on anyone anymore. We'll take you to our prison, which is located underground. Please follow me, boys. Oh, and Dimitri? Please take Annette back to her room. She needs to rest." 

"A-alright. Please don't hurt him." Dimitri says softly and actually walks away from me, leaving me like this. 

"No, stop! Don't take her back! They're keeping Annette unconscious on purpose! Linhardt has the bottle with drugs, believe me!" I yell as much information as I can before Felix stops me again by putting more pressure on the sword.

"Knock him out," Flayn orders. 

A hard blow against my head causes black spots to fill my vision, but I still remain conscious somehow. "Dimitri, I promise..!" 

It's the last I can get out of my mouth before another hard blow to the back of my head knocks me out for real. 

.

My head throbs and I feel groggy when I wake up again. 

What in the world happened to me? Am I really locked up in a prison? 

"Urgh…" I groan loudly, but it's more from frustration than actual physical pain. 

When I try to open my eyes, I'm finding a severe burning feeling in my eyeballs, preventing me from being able to keep my eyes open and taking in my surroundings. 

I really hope I wasn't drugged. 

Drugged..? Annette..! 

I try to sit up quickly, but I bump my head against the ceiling of wherever the hell I am.

"Ouchies," I rub over my head which proves even more painful when I accidentally touch the sore spot on the back of my head. 

They really got me good. Assholes, how dare they? 

I open my eyes once more and even though it hurts to keep them open, I decide to push through and check my surroundings. 

The first thing I notice is that it's really dark in here. And what am I even looking at? Is that a wall? I look around and the only source of light I have in here comes from behind me somewhere. 

I brace myself for the throbbing in my head I'll get if I move, but I want to get to the source of light so I can see more. 

I turn around and crawl over. Why is this damn ceiling so low? I keep bumping my head against stones that stick out. 

"Ugh, fuck me," I groan when I finally make it to the source of light. 

What I see doesn't please me at all. There are iron bars in the opening of the space I'm confined in. A cell after all. Outside of my cell is a corridor, lit up faintly by torches, and across the pathway are more cells just like mine. 

They're too dark for me see if there's anyone in there, so as far as I know, I'm alone in this dungeon. 

I rest my sore and throbbing head against the coolness of the iron bars in front of me. It soothes my physical pain a little, but I'm emotionally completely torn apart. 

How could my friends betray me like this? Can I even still call them my friends now? And Dimitri… my lover. He said he'd follow me, wherever I'd lead him.

And where is he now? He hasn't followed me into this cell right here. Was that all a lie? 

"I would, but you're not exactly close enough. Sorry, pal." A male voice speaks up from somewhere. 

I lift my head from where I was resting it against the bars. What did I even say again? 

I don't remember, so I settle for the most obvious question that's always asked in a situation like this. "Who's there?" 

A huff is the only answer I get and it stays quiet after that. 

Great, my only company in this crappy place is a douche. 

I rest my head back against the bar. Psh, I don't need company, I have my self-pity and sorrow to keep me company for the next few weeks.

Can I even recover from this? What would I do if I saw their faces again? 

Felix, he didn't trust me. I should have known that. Felix never listened to my orders, instead just did what he thought was right. And Sylvain… Did he even trust me? Or did he just follow me?

I need to see Flayn again.

She started all this. What is she planning? Does she want to sacrifice them and is that why she accused me of pursuing that goal? 

But why me? 

I should have believed Linhardt when he said Flayn doesn't intend to let us leave this place. But even if I did, would that have changed anything? Linhardt and I were still gone, so Flayn still had plenty of time to brainwash the others into doing this. 

Me, trying to sacrifice them. Ridiculous. I chuckle to myself at the thought.

Even if Flayn plans on sacrificing them now, maybe that's what they deserve for not believing me. 

How petty of me. 

But then again, I've always been a lone wolf. I survived without relying on anyone for so long, and now everything goes wrong because I thought I could trust friends. 

My mother was right, I should have only trusted myself. My own life is more important than others'. 

Naive little Claude wanted to prove to her that she was wrong. And I almost succeeded. 

I groan again. I don't even care if that douche can hear me. I need to cope with my frustrations somehow. 

"Care to share?" The voice asks. 

"Not really," I answer. I'm not gonna tell him everything if he won't even tell me who he is. 

"Alright, suit yourself," the voice tells me.

"I will." 

For fuck's sake, Claude. Stop being a brat. This guy might be dangerous. 

He is in a prison for a reason after all. 

But what if he's been betrayed too? Well, even if he was, he can't really help me from where he is. 

But it couldn't hurt to confide in him, right? Even if just a little. 

"Who are you?" I ask again. If he answers, I'll tell him something about me. 

He sighs and it actually sounds annoyed. "Why do you care about that?" 

Why is he so stingy? He wants me to share, but he doesn't want to share anything himself. 

"Alright, keep your secrets." 

I don't get another reply for a while. Just as good. 

Maybe I should start thinking of a way to escape from here. If that's even possible.

Aren't there any guards around? Someone must have the key to these cells, right? 

I try to stick my head through the opening between the bars. I can't get as far as I'd like, but I manage to get a glimpse of the end of the pathway. There's literally nothing or no one out there.

I sigh. What did I do to deserve this? All I can think of is that I said I want to take care of Byleth. That's literally all. 

Did that really stir such intense emotions in Flayn? To the point where she felt that she needed to get rid of me instead? 

"You know, this obviously won't get us anywhere," the voice says. "You want to know who I am? I'll tell you that if you tell me how you ended up here." 

That sounds better. Not perfect yet though. "No, I want to change my request. I want to know why you're here too." 

He tch's at that and it stays quiet again for a bit. 

He's secretive. Reminds me a little of myself, if I'm being honest. 

But that only means I shouldn't trust him so blindly either. I wouldn't mind lying to him, so I'm sure he wouldn't see a problem in lying to me either.

"You're a tough one, huh? That's just because you can't see my face. If you could, I'd have to bat my eyes at you twice and you'd give me anything I want."

He does not lack in confidence, that's for sure. "Well, lucky me then. You wanna discuss serious matters or you just trying to intimidate me with your long eyelashes?" 

"Only if you start." 

I stepped right into that one. How annoying. Oh well, what do I have to lose? I'm here because of injustice, not because I committed a crime or whatever.

"Alright, fine. I ended up here because this little girl or grown woman or whatever decided that I was a threat to her teacher so she wanted to get rid of me. You're up." 

He laughs. He actually has the audacity to laugh at me. I knew he was a douche. 

"Is that funny to you?" 

He stops laughing. "Actually, kinda, yeah. You see, that same little girl threw me in here too. I don't think it's for the same reason though, I have nothing to do with her teacher. All I wanted was to get rid of the mage who casted the magic on the villagers." 

Someone with the same goal as me? 

"That's what I wanted too," I admit. 

"Well, congratulations. You'll never succeed now." 

Yeah, I don't even know why I got my hopes up at hearing his goal. He's in the same position as me.

"What about your allies?" I ask. 

"Allies? What about yours?" He counters.

God, he's annoying. "I asked first." 

"I don't care. I know what's waiting for me here, you'd do well to just answer my questions and I might give you some information in return." 

"You're annoying," I mutter. 

"Finally, a compliment regarding my inside, rather than my outside." 

What is up with this guy?

It's a real drag, but I need his information. "My allies sided with her. They betrayed me and helped her with locking me up." 

I hate how easy he's getting information from me. Maybe his eyelashes are really that amazing.

He huffs. "That must hurt, you poor thing." 

"Yes, quite so," I agree. 

A beat of silence passes. Is he kidding? 

"So, what about yours?" I press. 

"What about my what?" He asks innocently. 

He's worse than Linhardt! 

"Fine, don't tell me then." Maybe if I seem uncaring, he'll tell me. 

Reverse psychology is severely underrated. Now I'm just hoping he'll fall for it, since it doesn't seem like he will. I only talked with him briefly, but I can tell he's smart. 

"Listen to me golden boy, what happened to my allies is irrelevant. You're stuck here, and you will be until one of your allies comes to their senses and gets you out. That's your only way of making it back and finish what we both started." 

Golden boy?! Wait, he can see me then? 

I lift my head again to look at the other cells. At first glance, they all still look empty. But when I focus closely on the cell diagonally across of mine, I can make out the shape of a person sitting in the darkness. 

"Hi there," he says in a overly sweet voice as he waves at me. 

"What happened to your allies isn't irrelevant," I object. "I think Flayn wants to sacrifice my friends. If she did that to yours, the chance is big that she'll do that to mine, so spill your beans." 

"Sacrifice them? For what?" His voice actually sounds surprised. 

Now he's either being very sarcastic and acting surprised, or he possibly doesn't even know what happened to his allies. 

"Were you maybe the leader too?" I ask. 

"What are they sacrificed for?" He repeats. 

"Were you the leader?" I ask again.

"Why the sacrifice?" He repeats again too. 

"Fine, don't answer." If he was the leader, it's likely we're in the exact same boat. 

But if he could just cooperate, that'd be great.

He and I both stay quiet for another while, just waiting for the other person to start talking. 

He relents and sighs. "Yes, I was the leader. And no, I don't know what happened to my allies. But if you're here and you're the leader of your own group, I'm guessing Flayn wanted to take us out of the picture so we couldn't influence our people anymore. It'll give her a free pass to do whatever she wants, since their spirits are too weak to oppose her. Now, what are they sacrificed for, you dick." 

Well, that was more than I was hoping for, including the cuss word. But hey, I'm not complaining.

"Flayn accused me of wanting to sacrifice my friends so I could gain the favor of the mage who casted the spell. I'm not sure what she meant by that though, but supposedly I'd give their bodies to her teacher, who would undoubtedly just kill them because he's literally incapable of doing anything else." 

We both stay quiet again, silently thinking over what we both said. I'd love to play chess against this guy, although it would probably take hours before we'd finish. 

"So." He's the first to speak up again. "You're saying that your friends believed her when she said that? You have to be one hell of a terrible leader." 

I know he's just provoking me to spill more information, but damn that stings. 

"Stuff happened and I was up to some sneaky things when they caught me, so I can't blame them for having distorted thoughts about me because of that. I just- Fuck, I thought they trusted me more than this. I guess not." 

It hurts to admit that, especially to an arrogant douche like him. But it's the truth. I did think they trusted me more than this, and it crushes my heart to know that I trusted them. 

"Well, sneaky things are never good, should have considered that sooner." 

"Like you're one to talk. You seem like you're the sneakiest of the sneaky." 

He laughs at that. "Why, yes. And those sneaky things got us both right where we are now. Like I said, just hope that one of your allies sees the light and will come for you before it's too late. I know I never saw my allies again after I got locked up here. That was weeks ago." 

Only weeks ago? Maybe we barely missed him when we were sent outside. Maybe he could have helped us. 

Wait just a second.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Not from the monastery, that's impossible.

He laughs again. "Wow, you only wonder that now? I don't know if I want to tell you that actually. You might come after my other allies if you get out." 

"Do you really think that if I get out, I'm going to let you stay here to rot away? I hope dearly that I made a better impression than that." There's no way I'm leaving him here. Even if he's a pain in the ass. 

I mean, I took Linhardt with me too, so why not this douche? He might be helpful. If he'll follow me, that is. 

"You want to get me out too? Are you serious? You don't even know who I am." 

"That doesn't matter. You and I are too much alike, so I think I know your intentions. You're just a bit more intense in your words and actions than I am. And besides, we share a goal, so why not help each other?" I don't know if I should be doing this. Teaming up with this guy, it could be dangerous. 

But then again, who else do I have? This is only if one of my friends comes to save me from this place because they realized they made a mistake. Will they be on time for that? Or will they only realize when Flayn starts to sacrifice them?

"I thought too, that we're alike. It's settled then; if your allies come here to save you and you'll get me out, I'll help you take care of Flayn and the mage. No backsies." 

"No backsies," I repeat and I can't help but laugh at the word. Who even uses that still? 

"I'd do a pinky promise, but I still can't reach you." 

"Sure, sure. So what do I have the honor of calling you, Mister Eyelash?" 

He huffs. "You should know by now. You go first, golden boy." 

"I'm fine with mister Eyelash. I don't even need a name to call you." He's just gonna keep being difficult, huh? I don't know why I thought he'd be easier now that we have some sort of alliance.

"Just as stubborn as I am, I see. Fine, golden boy it'll be for now. Your allies are bound to call out your name anyway if they find you." 

"You seem to have more faith in them than I do myself." Well, it's not that hard to anyway. 

Despite our conversation just now, I actually don't really have high hopes. The only people that know I'm really innocent are Linhardt, Annette and Flayn. And I very much doubt that either Annette or Linhardt can find their way here and get me out. 

Flayn… why go through all those lengths just to betray us in the end?

And what the hell happened to Raph? I don't think he was there when Flayn caught me. Was he just casually eating his breakfast while all that happened? Or did Flayn know Raphael would be loyal to me?

Would he be loyal to me? 

"Were you really that sneaky? That you don't have the slightest bit of faith in any of them?" 

I actually don't even know. Dimitri didn't seem okay with me being treated this way, but even he didn't stand up for me. 

That really hurts. Dimitri was supposed to have my back, no matter what. He couldn't even do that for me. 

And to think that I woke up so happily just this morning, in his arms, enjoying his warmth and affection. I don't even know if I can go back there with him, even if he comes to rescue me, and that shit hurts.

"Actually, don't even answer that. Your face says enough. They really got you good, huh?" 

I can only nod. I know he's sitting there, looking at me, watching my every reaction. I can't find it in me to be bothered about that though. 

Maybe he wouldn't judge me if I let out a tear. And even if he would, it's already too late now anyway. 

"Don't be ashamed. Being betrayed by someone you trust hurts. Get that pain out of your system, it's alright." 

The more he speaks, the more tears escape my eyes and roll over my cheeks. 

God damn it. Could I have prevented this? Was there anything I could have done to save myself, and ultimately my friends? 

"Thanks," I whisper before I wipe away the last tear that runs over my cheeks. 

"I'm not as bad as you might have thought. Well, not always. I mean, I have my moments. Even if they're rare." 

Yeah, that's as good as saying he's a douche who can sometimes do something nice.

"I appreciate it. Do guards ever come in here?" 

"Not often. They just come in here to feed us when it's been a long time since our last meal. They keep us alive, but barely." 

"So my friends need to hurry up then." 

"Preferably." 

Great. So I'm literally going to be starved until someone decides enough is enough and will get me out of here. 

I lean my head back against the iron bars in front of me. I wanna leave. I wanna go back to the time when we were all having fun in the river, when Dimitri kissed me for the first time. 

Actually, never mind that. I want to go back to the giant sleepover. To the time when everyone was still innocent. When everyone was still alive. When I didn't know what we'd have to go through now. 

I want my own innocence back. I want to go back to the small house I lived in together with both my parents. 

But I can't. I can't even leave this tiny prison cell. Was all of this worth it? Doing what I did, only to see the true faces of my so-called friends and ending my story here. Was that worth everything? 

Of course not. 

I don't want to end things here. I came here for one thing, and that was to get rid of the damn magic spell. And like hell am I going to give up now. 

I got nothing in here, nothing but mister Eyelash on the other side and once in a while someone will come in here and feed us like the rats mister and I both are.

Okay, so I'm off to a rough start. But that's fine, because if I'm one thing, it's a survivor. 

I did not live on my own outside for such a long time when I was just a child, and I did not give Rhea hell by breaking her rules, survive Seteth's abuse, and I did not fight for not only my own, but everyone else's lives just to end all that right here. 

"Hey, mister Eyelash? You say you've been here for a few weeks. How much weight did you lose?" 

He huffs. "Plenty, but if your plan is for me to squeeze through these bars, you're gonna have to wait another few weeks." 

Damn. "Alright, never mind that idea then. I guess you don't have any weapons either, do you?" 

"Of course not. I was stripped down to my underwear before they threw me in here. Perks of hiding weapons all over your body, I guess." 

This guy. 

Do I have something useful on me? Or did Flayn strip everything off of me too? 

"Don't bother, I saw them take everything you had on you. Look, I don't know where this newly found hope came from, but do you really think I'd still be in here if escape was a possibility?" 

Maybe not. 

"I guess you're right. So all we can really do is hope one of my guys will come to rescue me, huh?" 

"That's what I've been telling you." 

Right. Then hope we shall. God, I hate leaving things to somebody else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo do you know who mister eyelash is? ;))))


	34. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay apparently it was too obvious that mr eyelash is Yuri but that's a good thing bc now I know at least that I have his personality down
> 
> Y'ALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW SCARED I WAS THAT I'D MESS HIM UP 
> 
> also bc of one of the comments on last chapter I started to pair Claude and Yuri together and now I can't stop anymore so right now it's a big mystery for us all (including myself) who our golden baby will end up with 
> 
> Excusez-moi for le rambling, I just had to say it 
> 
> Either way, enjoy!!!
> 
> ALSO HAPPY EASTER

This sucks. I've been stuck in this small cell for what feels like have been days, but mister Eyelash assured me that only about forty minutes have passed. 

"How do you even know what time it is?" I ask. 

"I have this nice clock in my cell. I was allowed to decorate the space before they locked me up here." 

I glare at his cell. I know he can see me, even though I can't see him. 

"Your sarcasm is uncalled for." 

He laughs at that. "Look, kiddo, I've been sitting here for quite a while with absolutely nothing to do. I've learned to estimate time by now. You're actually quite lucky you have yours truly over here to talk to." 

Kiddo. How old is this dude if he calls me kiddo? "Where's mine truly then? I'd much rather talk to him than you." 

"Ah, so yours truly is a man, huh? Interesting." 

Did I really just give that away? He's definitely teaching me to be more aware of the nonsense I tend to blurt out. 

Dimitri is my yours truly. Was. I don't know even know how I feel about him anymore. 

He really hurt me. I don't know if I'm ready to just forgive him so easily. 

"I had someone. A guy, to confirm it for you since you're so interested." I can fish for information too. He's not the only one. 

"Interested? Well, you're definitely a pretty thing to look at, there's no denying that. Why the had?" 

I didn't expect him to just casually admit that. I guess people with enough confidence do stuff like that.

"I have no reason to tell you," I answer.

"Aw, cute. Are you blushing? Don't tell me you're not used to receiving compliments from other guys. Or did your man perhaps neglect you?"

"No, he was great. Perfect even," I bite. Despite what Dima did to me, I still hold him close to my heart. 

No actions or words can change or take away the fond memories I have from us together.

"Yet, you let him go," he says with a faraway voice. "What a shame." 

"I'd say it's the other way around. He didn't do anything when I got locked up, so I'm not sure what to do now. If I see him again, that is." 

Why am I discussing this with mister Eyelash? Am I really ready to let someone else into my heart already? Just so he can stomp on it too? Why am I stupid? 

"That… That's shitty. I'm sorry. Perhaps he wasn't so perfect after all." 

I glare at him again and this time, I can see his arms rise in a surrendering gesture. 

"Don't talk about him like you know him. I'm sure he just didn't know what to do when he saw me." I hope that's it. I know he does reckless things when he's emotional, Flayn just riled him up. 

I'm sure that that's all. 

"If you say so. I may not know the guy, but I know humans. And humans are ugly creatures, no matter how pretty they look on the outside." 

"I disagree with that. Humans can be beautiful too. My friends are beautiful, Flayn just brought out their ugly side." 

He stays quiet for a bit, silently considering my words. 

"You know," he starts, "it takes a lot of strength to say that about someone who literally just betrayed you. Now, I don't know if that's admirable or just plain naivety, but I like your attitude. They made a huge mistake, letting you go like that." 

It makes me feel good to hear him say that. At least someone who appreciates my efforts. I just didn't think it'd be a stranger I met in a prison, rather than the people I used to trust.

My stomach suddenly feels the need to remind me that I missed breakfast. Just great. This is gonna be painful for a while. 

"Was that your stomach?" He asks and I can hear he's trying not to laugh. "You're in for a real treat if you're hungry." 

I sigh. "Yeah, looks like it. When's the last time you got food?" 

He thinks about it for a few seconds. "I'd say about… one? A bit less than two days ago? Something like that." 

Fuck, he's gone this long without anything to eat? I suddenly feel like a spoiled brat now. "Ah, shit. When do you think they'll come back?" 

"Hmm, should be in a day or two. Probably. Maybe they'll come more often because there's two people here now. They tend to forget about me sometimes." 

I sigh again. I can't help but silently curse Flayn and everyone who decided they wanted to stab me in the back. 

"Ah, I can see your man was good for you. How shameless." He chuckles. 

I look at his dark shape in his cell, trying to figure out what he's talking about. I'm not shameless.

"Your neck. It's covered in hickeys," he elaborates. 

Hickeys..? Those suction marks? 

Ah, now I get why Flayn had been giggling and Dimitri kept covering up my neck with my shirt. I can't believe that hadn't crossed my mind before. 

I hurry and cover my neck like Dimitri did for me before. The movement causes a jolt of pain in the back of my head and I squeeze my eyes shut to prevent tears from forming. 

Why'd they have to hit me twice? They couldn't even knock me out properly.

"What's wrong?" Mister Eyelash asks.

I gently rub the sore spot on my head as I answer. "I got hit on the head twice to knock me unconscious. They just couldn't do it in one go." 

"Twice? Those guys must've been careful then, trying not to hurt you as bad. Luckily for you though, yours truly knows a healing spell." 

Why does he keep calling himself that? Nonetheless, if he could help me, that'd be perfect. If he would. 

"Would you?" 

"If you'll be nicer to me. I still have some questions for you." 

Of course. Never one thing before the other, huh? But if he's going to be my ally, maybe it's okay for me to answer his questions, even if he won't answer mine.

"Okay, deal. But you're healing me first, this headache is terrible." 

"Turn around, it'll be over in a second." 

I do as he instructed and the relief of white magic washes over my sore head. The pain lets up quickly, and although it's not gone completely, it still feels a hundred times better than before. I guess he's not too experienced in healing then, but that's okay. 

"Thanks." 

"Don't thank someone you're indebted to. You'll be paying me back." 

I consider just not turning around anymore and ignoring him for the time being, simply because his attitude deserves it, but I have a feeling he'll be much worse if I don't stick to our deal.

"Fine, sorry. What do you want to know?" 

"Well, you asked where I'm from and even though I didn't answer you, I still want to know where you're from."

Does he mean where I was before I came to this village? Or where I was born? 

"I'm originally from Almyra. I came here when I was around seven." If he's involved with the monastery somehow, I don't intend to allow him to go after my other allies either by giving him too much information. 

My other allies. Thank god I didn't tell Flayn about them either. I guess being careful pays off after all. 

That is, if no one else has told Flayn about them yet.

"Almyra..? I've never heard of that before. I guess it's not really around here, given how you look." 

He's never heard of Almyra? "Have you ever seen a world map? Because it's literally on there." 

"No, I have not. I also can't read or write if you'd like to make fun of that too," He bites back.

Oops, guess that was a sore spot for him. But he never learned how to read or write? Seriously? Has he been living under a rock or something? 

"I could… teach you? If you want. And if we ever get out of here." Only because I feel bad about my inconsiderate remark though. 

"Sure, I'd like that. Wouldn't your man mind you hanging around some other guy?" 

He just keeps coming back to the Dima subject. 

"My man has no reason to mind me doing anything. No, scratch that. He has no right to mind anything I do." 

"But you still consider him to be your man?" He asks. 

"I don't know why you keep asking about him, but I'm actually not sure what I consider him to be now. I'm not gonna deny that I have feelings for him, but I don't know if those feelings are enough to go through the whole process of rebuilding our trust." 

He huffs a laugh, but doesn't say any more than that.

"Why is that funny?" I sound much more annoyed than I mean to, but he just has a way of getting under my skin.

"Oh, it's not. You're completely right in your insecurities revolving your relationship with him. Maybe just wait and see what he has to say, perhaps it'll become more clear why he decided to betray you." 

Why did he laugh if he admits it's not funny? "Yeah, I guess that's a good idea. Hey, is there some kind of toilet in this cell?" 

I don't want to keep talking about Dima with him. It's become a sore spot for me now too.

"Nope. Just use the farthest corner in your space, maybe you won't smell it. And I laughed before because you're so serious about this guy. There's more people out there, don't let just him dominate you." 

More people, psh. Almost everyone is dead. "Your sarcasm is, once again, uncalled for." 

I crawl back into the dark space that is my cell to find the farthest corner so I can relieve my bladder. 

This is gross. 

"I wasn't even being sarcastic this time," I can still hear him say, but I don't feel like talking to him anymore. 

I keep thinking of him as a douche or a jerk, but I know what he says is true. His words just hit too hard for me to handle them properly right now, especially because my emotional wounds are still so painful.

"I'm gonna sleep, good night." 

"Alright, sleep tight. I'll wake you if anything remarkable happens, but don't count on it." 

"Thanks." 

This floor is cold. This whole cell is cold. It smells in here and I wanna get out already. This punishment my friends thought I needed for whatever they think I did wrong can end now, I've learned my lesson. 

And just great, my arm starts to throb. Wow, really? Now it's not my head anymore, but my hurt arm that starts acting up. I should have asked Flayn to heal my arm too when she healed Dima's. At least the bandages were refreshed after my bath.

Dima… Why would you do this to me? Why wouldn't you say anything? And Lysithea? I really thought she'd be on my side, whatever happened. 

Maybe Linhardt's absence did something to her. I'm sure Flayn used that too when she tried to convince the others.

But what the hell was he up to? Where was Linhardt? He could have prevented this. 

I really hope Linhardt will take responsibility, convince the others that Flayn is up to something, help Annette and Dedue and just get out of here. Even if they don't save me. They should just get out of here and go back to the monastery. 

Maybe they'll succeed. I hope they will. They never asked for any of this either. 

What's a group of kids to do against something this great anyway? Could we really have made a difference, when so many already failed? 

Just look at mister Eyelash. He said I'm lucky I have him to talk to, but I'm sure it must have been worse for him, sitting in here all by himself for weeks with nothing to do and nobody to talk to.

I know it's a bit late to regret my decision, but I never saw this coming either. Flayn got me good. 

I unwrap the bandage from my arm, revealing an ugly wound filled with smelly and disgusting fluids. Right, it was still infected. 

It didn't hurt before, but I also haven't had Linhardt's medicine anymore since we battled Byleth the first time.

All these bacteria in this prison have probably made their way into my wound, aggravating it even further. I wouldn't be surprised if my fever made another appearance either.

What a great life I have. Well, maybe it'll end here anyway. 

Please, someone save me. Hell, I wouldn't even be mad if it'd be Lorenz, who promised me he'd make it out of the forest safely.

But please, Dima… 

.

I wake up, and to my huge disappointment, I'm still stuck in this dark place. 

I was really hoping it'd all turn out to be one big nightmare and I'd wake up feeling all warm and fuzzy in Dima's arms, despite everything. 

"You up?" Mister Eyelash asks. 

I'm greeted by the sound of mister Eyelashes' words and the sight of my wound. Not the best way to wake up. 

"I guess. So, nothing happened, huh?" He said he'd wake me up if something did, after all.

"No, nothing. A few hours passed though, roughly five or six. Sleep well?" 

Ugh, only five or six hours passed. I don't know why, but I hoped it was at least more than that. 

"Not at all. Do you have bandages?" I really don't want to use the same one I was using before.

"Why do you even think I would? Don't tell me you're hurt." 

"Fine, I won't say it then." I'll just use my clothes. 

I take off my shirt to try and rip off one of the sleeves. The material proves sturdier than I thought, and I actually struggle with ripping the fabric. 

"Wow, who would've thought I'd ever get to see something like that again." 

"Stop staring at me, you pervert. How old are you even?" I can literally see the glinting of his eyes in the dark now. 

Did he move closer to the edge of the light just to look at me? 

He chuckles, but doesn't answer my question. 

Asshole. I give him a glare, but now that I saw his eyes, I feel like a puppy in front of a lion. He's definitely a lot more dangerous than I am.

So, I'll just ignore him for now. He can't touch me anyway. 

The fabric finally gives in to my efforts, allowing me to cleanly rip the sleeve off. I position it so that I can wrap it around my wound, but mister Eyelash stops me.

"Are you stupid? Let me try and heal that first." 

I want to argue with him, but I bite my tongue before I say something stupid again. I don't like that he's intimidating for an old man.

He'll see for himself that it's hard to heal this wound anyway. 

I stretch out my arm for him so he can try and heal it, and to my surprise, it actually works a little. The wound doesn't close at all, but the skin gets a healthier color. 

"Am I allowed to thank you?" I ask, before he gives me a witty remark again. 

"You can show me how thankful you are, sure." 

"Never mind, you old pervert." I want to put my shirt back on. 

"Your man was lucky to have you," he tells me. I can still feel his intense gaze on me.

"Stop flirting with me, I'm taken." I make an effort to wrap the fabric around my arm, but it's hard to do it properly with just one arm. 

"Are you really?" He's clearly mocking me now. "I gotta say, I respect your devotion to him. Was he your first? Because that explains why you think he's so important." 

I decide not to answer that. I never broke up with Dima properly, but I might. 

"I'm not interested in old fucks, so stop harassing me," I mutter.

He just laughs loudly. Asshole. I really don't appreciate that he keeps mocking me. 

"I can't believe you really just called me an old fuck. How old do you think I am?" 

I actually have no idea. How old do I think he is? Thirty? Older than that? 

"I don't know, like thirty. It's your own fault for not showing me your face." 

"You think thirty is old? Well, compared to your babyface, it probably is. How old are you? Fifteen, sixteen?" 

"I'm seventeen, actually," I correct him. "I turn eighteen in a few months and yes, thirty is old. So back off." 

Ah, fuck. He was aiming for that by giving me a younger age than I am. This guy really knows how to play people. 

He hums. "Seventeen, huh? And I don't think I ever confirmed that I'm thirty, so don't flatter yourself. But you're right, I did never show you my face so I can't blame you for thinking I'm old." 

"Then, how old are you?" 

"I'll tell you if you leave the shirt off." 

"Forget it, pervert." I hurriedly put my shirt back on. 

He just laughs again. "You're so precious." 

"Shut up or I'll leave you in that cell after all." I know I'm pouting, but this guy really brings out the worst in me.

"You can't, we agreed on no backsies." 

Fuck me, we really did. Can nothing ever go the way I want it to? 

"How old is too old?" He asks. 

"I'm not answering that. You'd probably lie about your age anyway." Who knows how many lies he's already told me? 

"Alright, fine with me. By the way, if you're wondering how long you've been out when you first came here, I have the answer." 

Bribing me with information, how dare he? I would like to introduce this guy to any- and everyone who's ever called me a rat and show them what a real rat is. 

"But you probably won't tell me if I don't answer you first. Asshole." I can't even hold back my snappy tone. 

"Wow, I'm really getting under your skin, aren't I? Maybe I should be a little nicer to you too. You were out for a day and a half. According to my time estimation, anyway. Might be off a few hours." 

A day and a half? So I've been here for about two days in total now? 

"Thank you. Nice suits you." 

"You're welcome," he replies. 

Wow, that's a first. Maybe he just wants to annoy me because he hasn't been able to be annoying to anyone for so long. Or maybe he really is just a jerk. 

Probably the latter. 

"Are you forty?" I don't like admitting it, but not knowing how old he is bothers me. 

"Don't push it, kid. Even you can cross my boundaries if you say something like that." 

"You're the one who calls me 'kid' and 'boy' and 'kiddo'. Don't blame me for thinking you're an old fuck." 

"Fine, think whatever you want. Maybe one day you'll find out." 

Psh. Arrogant bastard.

"Want to play a game?" He asks after several minutes. 

"A game?" I don't trust this at all.

"Yes, a game. It's called; I ask, you answer. You're obliged to answer all my questions and you can't lie. Those are the rules." 

"Why do you think I'd play that with you?!" I shout. This guy is unbelievable. 

"I guess we don't then." 

We both stay quiet after that. I really need to stop letting him rile me up like this. He's obviously been playing that game with me since I woke up and I've been giving him almost all answers he's asked for. 

At least he still doesn't know my name or that I came from the monastery. I also don't intend to tell him those things either. Not yet, anyway. 

But if he'll help me, I'll probably have to trust him. 

Trusting another person. I don't think I want to anymore. I'm tired of trusting and then having my trust thrown back into my face like it's nothing. 

Lorenz did that with his small group back when we split up, and now Dima and the others do the same thing. Except the consequences are much bigger this time. 

Who knows what will happen to me next time I decide to trust someone again? I can't risk it. Whether or not mister Eyelash is a trustworthy person doesn't even matter right now. This is about me, and I don't want to trust anyone anymore. 

Trust, care, neither of those things. All they do is bring me misfortune. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" 

"No, shut up." He doesn't need to know. He might not even want to work with me anymore if I tell him I'll never trust him. 

"Hmph, I thought we agreed that you'd be nicer to me. You don't really keep your word." 

Right, because he healed me. 

"I'm just done with people. There, satisfied? I don't want friends anymore." He really made my mood sour. 

"Whoa there, you're contradicting your words. I thought you said that your friends are beautiful humans? What happened all of a sudden?" 

"I just- Ugh. I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't know. My thoughts keep changing. Maybe I just wanted to sound better than I am. What would you do?" 

He stays quiet for a bit. 

Should I not have asked? 

"I don't think you wanna hear that actually. Where I'm from, we don't really consider second chances. If you fuck up, you fuck up and you deal with the consequences. If I were in your position, I'd probably kill those who betrayed me myself." 

Kill? He'd kill his own allies if they make one mistake? Is he like Edelgard? 

"You would really kill a person for making a mistake?" 

"I don't believe that betrayal is a mistake you can make. If I have allies, I put my full trust in them and I would never, ever turn my back on them. Doesn't matter what circumstances we're under, doesn't matter who we're up against. To me, trusting someone means believing in someone with your whole heart and being. Your friends obviously didn't feel that way about you, despite that you obviously trusted them. And if no one comes to save you, that's all the proof you need of that." 

"So, I should kill the people that don't come to save me? That's psycho." 

He huffs a small laugh. "No, that's not what I'm saying. You asked what I would do, and kill them is exactly that. You, on the other hand, are much too kind for that. You'd probably start trusting them again from the moment they apologize to you. Maybe even from the second you see their faces. And don't get me wrong, that's not necessarily a bad thing. You're just not experienced with this kind of thing yet. You're still naive like that." 

To be completely honest, I never signed up for my leadership. And Dimitri just gave his leadership to me too. I never asked for this much responsibility. Would anything be different now if Lorenz had led us instead? Or Leonie? She'd be a strong leader too. 

No use thinking about that. 

"I'm still naive, huh? Sounds about right. How'd you lose your naivety?" 

"I became leader of Abyss. You don't know what that is, but just know that they're all backstabbing rats. Like the allies I brought here." 

Hm. "Do you still trust humans?" 

"I'm definitely more careful with who I pick. But you never know what someone's thinking, so you can only hope that no one under your lead has malintentions." 

That's all I can do? Just hope that this won't happen again? Pray that there's no one in my group who coincidentally wants to get rid of me? 

Now I get what he means with 'humans are ugly creatures'. 

"Well, I guess a forty year old knows what he's talking about." 

"Watch that dirty mouth of yours," he threatens. 

I snicker at that. He's actually pretty cool when he's not being annoying. 

"Ew, oh my god, ew, ew, ew! I just stepped in something and it actually squished!" A girly voice shouts through the dark space.

I hold my breath. Is this really happening? I'm not imagining things, am I? 

I look at mister Eyelash and even his dark shape looks to be sitting up straight now, trying to figure out what's going on.

"Shhh! Do you want us to get caught?! You idiot!" Another, more recognizable female voice hisses at the first girl.

No way. There's no way..!

"I'm sorry, but it was really gross!" The first girl whispers. 

"Maybe it was a dead rat," a bored voice suggests. "Or maybe just a part of it." 

"Oh my god, that's disgusting!" 

"Shhh, stop screaming already! For god's sake!" 

Linhardt, Lysithea, it's them! I'm sure it's them! 

"You all should probably be quiet. We are trying to operate in secret." A very low voice whispers. 

Footsteps that have been descending a stairs finally make it to the pathway my cell is located on.

I still can't breathe. I never expected anyone to actually come here and get me out. I'm so very relieved, tears actually prickle in the corners of my eyes. 

When did I become so emotional? This is ridiculous. I hope mister Eyelash isn't watching me right now. 

I made out four different voices, and four different footsteps are currently walking down the pathway.

That means… Dima didn't come. Dima didn't come to save me. I'm happy and relieved, but I can't help but feel extremely disappointed because of that. 

"Ahem, Claude? Are you in here?" 

"Linhardt! Not so loud!" Lysithea hisses at him. 

"How else are we supposed to find him?" Linhardt asks. "Did you want to crawl over this floor to look inside every cell? Because good luck with that." 

"Well, no. Annette was," Lysithea corrects awkwardly. 

"No way! There are dead rats on the ground! And why is it so dark in here? Has Claude really been stuck here for so long? It smells." 

I love hearing their voices. Even though it's been only two days, it feels like forever ago. 

"So, Claude? You around?" 

I'm feeling so overwhelmed that I can't even answer. I really gotta get my shit together.

"Yes, Claude is here." Mister Eyelash answers and he audibly stresses my name. 

God damn it. Now he found out after all.

"Wait, someone answered," Annette notices. 

"Claude?" Lysithea asks. Her voice is still hushed.

"Yes," I choke out. It sounds nothing less than ridiculous but I really can't help my voice right now. "I'm in here." 

I stick my arm through the iron bars to show them where I am. 

"Claude! Guys hurry, he's there!" Lysithea screams out before she hurries over to take my hand into hers. "Oh my god, Claude. I'm so, so, so sorry. We'll get you out, okay? Just hold on one second." 

Linhardt and Annette join Lysithea in front of my cell. 

"Dedue, keep watch!" Annette orders. 

Wait, Dedue's here? How? 

"Of course." 

"You guys… I can't believe you came for me," I whisper. 

"Are you serious? Of course we came for you!" Lysithea exclaims. "Linhardt explained everything to me and the four of us immediately started thinking of a plan to get you out of here. I'm sorry it took so long though, Dedue and Annette needed time to recover." 

But then, where is Dima? Didn't Linhardt explain anything to him? 

"There's a lock. I told you we needed to look for the key first!" Linhardt hisses. 

"It's fine, move aside. I got this!" Annette pushes both Linhardt and Lysithea out of the way to get in front of me. 

She takes something out of her hair before she starts fiddling with the lock on my cell door. 

"What are you doing?" Linhardt asks. 

"I'm picking the lock, obviously! Ashe taught me how to." 

She knows how to pick locks? Ashe knew how to pick locks? Talk about unexpected.

"Well, hurry up. If we get caught, they'll probably throw us in here too. And those cells look like they're bad for my back with the low ceiling," Linhardt grumbles.

"Really? That's what you're worried about? But the fact that Claude's been sitting here for days doesn't bother you? At all?" Lysithea looks at him with big eyes. 

"Well, sure, but what good would it do if we all ended up with back pain?" Linhardt counters.

"Does any of you have any food?" I interrupt.

Mister Eyelash hasn't eaten in a long time and I'm a bit worried about his health.

"Uhm, no, I didn't bring any…" Lysithea answers. 

Linhardt shakes his head as well. 

Damn it. Sorry mister, gotta hold on for just a bit longer.

"Are you okay, Claude? Did anyone hurt you while you were in here?" Lysithea asks with a worried voice. 

I shake my head. Well, at least there was no physical pain anyway. Mister Eyelash did a good number on my feelings though. 

"I'm so glad. And I'm so sorry for what happened in the hallway. I know you probably won't be able to forgive us anytime soon, but I'd like to at least explain to you what was going on." 

"Yeah, I'd appreciate that," I answer. 

Is this what mister meant when he said I'd probably trust them again in a heartbeat? Because I feel like I do. But there's nothing wrong with that. I just decided that for myself. 

At least for these guys, who are risking their lives and freedom for mine. 

"I still don't understand how Claude actually got locked up in here." 

"Ugh, Linhardt! I explained it like three times!" 

"Yes, and it still doesn't make sense to me. You know, Claude. I promised Lysithea that I wouldn't do this, but I'm going to do it anyway. I told you so. I said Flayn wouldn't let us leave, and then she locks you up. I said it." 

Wow, I can't believe this guy. I'm surrounded by sweet, loving girls and male assholes. Is that what this world has come to?

"Linhardt! What the hell?! Do you really think Claude cares about what you said? Let's just get him out so we can all get out of this place." 

"I'm trying! Give me just one or two more minutes," Annette says. 

One or two more minutes and then I'm out. I'll be free again.

A clicking sound next to Annette announces that there was no need for one or two more minutes. 

"I got it! It's loose, come out!" Annette screams enthusiastically as she opens the door for me. 

I crawl through the low opening and for a second, I just sit there in the hallway. "Thank you. Thank you so much for coming," I whisper again. 

I really thought they'd leave me in here.

Lysithea immediately crashes her small body into mine to give me a tight hug. I gratefully squeeze her back with my arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Claude. I hated seeing everything happen and not being able to do a thing to protect you… But I- I couldn't. They would have probably locked me up too if I said anything, I'm so sorry..!" Lysithea sniffles loudly when she finishes her apology.

So that's what happened? She believed me, but she couldn't help me because the others didn't. Is it the same for Dima? Was he feeling pressured too? That must have been it. 

But do I forgive her? I mean, it's not like I would have wanted her to get locked up, but a bit of support would have been nice.

I decide to say nothing and just hold her.

Lysithea lets go of me eventually and wipes her eyes and nose before she gets up. She holds out her clean hand for me to grab it to help me stand up as well.

It's a weird feeling to stand up straight after having to stay small for a while. 

"Hey, Annette? I'm really sorry to ask, but could you get this guy out too?" I walk over to mister Eyelash's cell and point at the lock.

"Oh, sure thing! Might take another while though, so give me a minute." She walks over to me and sits down so she can pick that lock as well.

Hehehe, I finally get to see what he looks like now. I've been rather curious to see him before, but now I just wanna laugh at his old wrinkled face. My mood improved drastically and I can't help myself when I walk over to Linhardt to give him a hug.

"You're my real hero, aren't you? Come here and let me hug you!" I spread my arms and approach Linhardt, but his scrunched up face tells me he really doesn't want any hug from me.

"That's quite alright, there's no need for any hug, so please get away from me," he says as he tries to walk away. "Seriously, Claude. No hugs. I'm not a hero, there's just no one better suited to lead us than you."

I don't care what he says, I want to hug him. He even saved Annette and Dedue! So on their behalf also, I need this hug from him. 

"Claude, get away from me. This isn't funny. You've been lying and sitting on this disgusting floor and I don't want you to touch me." 

He's even more fun to tease than anyone else! How did I never notice before? 

Lysithea is laughing loudly at Linhardt and me as he's still walking away from me and I'm still following him around. 

"Who the hell are you and what did you do to grumpy pants?" A familiar voice asks from behind me. 

When I turn around, my eyes meet a pair of royal purple ones. Mister Eyelash, with genuinely long eyelashes I have to admit, looks nothing like I expected him to. 

He's absolutely gorgeous, even with his greasy hair and arrogant smirk plastered on his face. And he knows very well that he is. 

"Surprised? I told you I'd get anything done from you if I'd bat my eyelashes. You like 'em?" He actually demonstrates it to me and I don't want to admit the effect it has on me. 

I shrug to seem nonchalant. "I just thought you'd look more your age." 

"I'm not forty years old, you dick." He still smirks at me, but it changes into a genuine smile. "Looks like your friends came for you after all." 

"Yeah, they really did. I guess there's no need for any murder this round." 

"Murder..? You wanted to murder us?" Lysithea's eyes grow wide. 

"Not you anymore," mister Eyelash answers. "Just his man now. At least, if that isn't him." He points at Linhardt, who's just standing there and yawning. 

"Oh, no, he's Lysithea's. Mine… didn't come." I'm sure the disappointment is evident in my whole being.

"His loss. You're even cuter when you're in the light," mister Eyelash tells me with his arrogant smirk.

Maybe it was for the better that he kept hiding his face from me. That smirk is incredibly irritating and also very hot but I'd never admit that to anyone. Especially not him.

"Claude, stop saying that stuff! Is he coming with us or are you just setting him free?" She looks at mister Eyelash, who just stares back right at her. 

"I'm coming with you, obviously. I still have some business with a girl named Flayn, if you don't mind." 

Lysithea looks a bit taken aback at mister's straightforwardness and crudeness. It's pretty funny to watch, but I guess I could ease her nerves a little. 

"This," I say as I gesture at Lysithea, "is Lysithea. She's a very intelligent little girl who's a very good magic user." 

She glares at me, likely for calling her a little girl before she turns back to mister Eyelash. "It's nice to meet you." 

He just nods at her before he looks at me, waiting for me to introduce the others as well.

"This is Linhardt, a healer. He's one of the smartest people I know, but he's lazy and he sleeps a lot. This is Annette, she's very cheerful and loves sweet things. And this is Dedue." 

I have no idea what to say about him.

"Dedue is an intimidating, but very kind and quiet man who loves gardening!" Annette fills in for me. 

"Yes, that. Thanks, Annette. And this," I point at mister Eyelash. "I don't know who he is, but he's smart and a jerk." 

Linhardt, Lysithea and mister Eyelash himself all look at me entirely unimpressed while Annette giggles. 

Mister Eyelash sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Fine, I guess I can give a name now. Just call me Yuri." 

Give a name? So that's not his name? Why is he so difficult? It still adds to his charm though. 

And I need to stop thinking of him in such ways. He's the pervert, not me. 

Annette walks up to him, wearing a cute and broad smile. "Nice to meet you, Yuri! Do you like sweet things too? Or do you like spicy more?" 

"I... like sweet things," he replies. I'm gonna remember that.

But I guess not even he can resist Annette. She really has a way of dealing with stoic people. 

"Okay, so are we good to leave now? We've been staying here for far too long already," Linhardt reminds us. 

"Yes, you're right. Should we go to the elder's building? It's kinda risky though." Lysithea continues thinking of other places we can go to for now.

"It'll be fine," Linhardt reassures. "It's dark out and it's already late. If we can somehow cover their faces, I'm sure no one will bother us."

It's night time? I have a feeling Yuri's estimation of time wasn't very precise. 

"How long have I been stuck here?" I ask. 

"A bit more than four days. I'm really sorry it took us so long," Lysithea says once more.

I glance at Yuri, who's walking beside me. 

"I told you, I could be off a few hours," he defends.

A few hours, my ass. He was off a few days!

"And besides, I didn't want you to freak out over the fact that four days had passed and your allies hadn't made an appearance yet."

"Bullshit, you just didn't know. Your time estimation sucks ass." 

He chuckles at that and I feel proud for making him laugh. 

That's bad. I should not want to impress him in any way. 

"Alright, you got me," he admits. "I guess I should confess that I ate your food too." 

"Excuse me, you did what?" He lied about the food guy! 

"In my defense, you'd been unconscious for a long time and you wouldn't wake up, no matter what I tried. I actually thought you were dead." 

I huff. "Well, was it good?" 

"Of course, other people's food always tastes better." 

"You're lucky you're pretty," I want to think, but accidentally say out loud. "Ah, fuck. Just pretend I didn't say that." 

"You're telling me to pretend you didn't say that? Scared that I'll tell your man?" 

I sigh. "You just have to keep bringing him up, don't you? Is it so important to you?" 

"Yes. I want to know if I have a chance with you. You're cute." 

Both Annette and Lysithea turn around at those words. 

"I told you, old fucks don't interest me. Lay off." Would Annette tell Dima about this? 

What would Dima think if he heard? Would he be angry? 

"Obviously, I'm not as old as you thought. So was that all that's stopping you?" That arrogant smirk has made its appearance back on his pretty face and I hate it.

For a long moment, I'm speechless. How am I even supposed to respond to that? 

"Just think about it. You still have to talk to your man anyways. There's no rush. Just remember that I'm not a quitter." 

How did this even happen to me? 

"Linhardt, are we almost there yet?" Yuri is scary. I don't want to talk to him anymore. 

Yuri just laughs loudly though, thoroughly amused with himself. 

"I'm sorry to tell you, but you're probably gonna have to share a room together," Lysithea informs us. 

"We only have the key of one room, so that's where we'll lock you up and hide you until it's safe for you to come out again," Linhardt explains further. "And to answer your question, that large building is the hospital, so just a little bit further." 

Are they serious? They're locking me up with this psycho? What did I do to deserve that? 

"Can't I go to Dima and talk with him? My stuff is still in his room too." Anything is better than getting locked up with Yuri. 

Because, what if something actually happens between us? I know better than to expect anything, but if Yuri was actually serious, I might have a problem.

"I… don't think you should see Dimitri right now. He's not really himself," Annette explains with a soft voice. 

What does that mean? He's not himself. I've seen him lose himself twice now, once when I told him about Edelgard and once when I got myself into a mess with the infected that bit my arm. 

Is he in such a state? But can't I help him get out of it then? 

"Maybe I can help," I offer. I did it twice before, so I don't see a problem.

Lysithea turns around to face me. "Actually, Claude… We're pretty sure that Flayn got through to him. It's likely that he's on her side, since, well, Dimitri isn't really the best liar. We don't think he's acting just to get close to her anyways." 

Dima is on her side..? But why? Does he really not trust me? Does he really believe that I want to sacrifice him? 

"Look, we'll explain as much as we can when we get inside, okay? We can't afford to waste time right now when we need to get you two inside as quickly as possible," Linhardt grumbles.

I can't believe it. Dimitri chose her over me? 

"It probably has to do with Felix and Sylvain. I tried to tell them what the healers were doing to Dedue and myself, but they insisted that it was you who started giving us the drugs," Annette explains. "Dimitri's always been a giant softie when it came to his friends and other loved ones, so he's letting them get to him and influence him however they want." 

"But what about me? Aren't I a loved one?" My voice cracks and it's the ugliest sound I've made in a while.

"I'm sorry, Claude. I don't know why Dimitri didn't choose to believe you. Possibly because you couldn't defend yourself and he couldn't hear your reasons." 

"I wasn't given a chance to explain..! How am I supposed to defend myself if there's a sword pointed at my throat? He saw that, he should have seen that I couldn't do anything in my position! He should've-" 

A hand on my shoulder stops me from talking any more. 

"She knows, Claude. She's on your side, but she can't help you. Save your frustrations for when you get a chance to talk to Dimitri," Yuri tells me. 

I clench my jaws together and my hands form tight balls of frustration at my sides. He's right. I know he is, but this isn't fair. 

His hand squeezes my shoulder in a comforting manner. "If you need me to, I'll kill them for you," he whispers. 

I can't help but laugh at his ridiculous comment. "You don't need to go that far. Just Flayn is enough." 

"Alright, first thing I'll do when I see her. That's a promise." 

First thing..? "No you can't, I still have to interrogate her. I'll give you a sign when she's ready." 

"That's fine too. You'll find that I'm much more loyal than some people." He smirks at me and lets go of my shoulder before he walks a bit faster to catch up with the others.

I refuse to acknowledge that he makes my heart beat faster. I absolutely refuse.

And to think that I have to spend a whole night with him in the same room. Tonight will be a very long night, I'm sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all so much for reading
> 
> If you have a fave pair, pls let me know so it might help me decide hahahaa


	35. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay early update!! 
> 
> Small warning, this chapter contains physical abuse and that makes the chapter a bit dark 
> 
> But hey don't we enjoy angst and all that good stuff 
> 
> Either way, I'll mark the beginning and end of that scene with *** in case you'd rather not read 
> 
> Enjoy!!

"If we go through this entrance, there's a very small possibility of encountering anyone. Stay low though, just in case," Linhardt instructs. 

He opens one of the back entrances to the elder's building. How many entrances are there? I guess it's necessary in case of emergency, but still. 

He leads the group to the staircase and I can't help but laugh at his deep sigh as he eyes all the stairs he has to climb again. 

"Come on, Lin. You got this," I encourage him.

"Don't call me that and I don't 'got' this. God, I hate stairs," he complains. 

Nevertheless, he still starts the climb and the rest of us follow. 

"You'd think he'd be used to it by now," Lysithea whispers at me. "We've walked these stairs so many times already, but he's still out of breath everytime we reach the top." 

I snicker at that. Poor Linhardt, just how bad is his stamina? 

"Good thing we'll only be going to the second floor for your room. We're hiding you amongst the elders," Annette whispers excitedly. 

"The elders? Are you sure it wouldn't be better to just go to the top floor where everyone has been staying?" I don't want to be so far away from Dima. 

"Flayn visits the top floor sometimes," Linhardt explains. "We already took a huge risk by freeing you from the prison, so we can't afford to push our luck. If she catches you again, there's no telling what she'll do." 

Right. Obviously. I can't afford to let Dimitri's state cloud my thoughts either. I need to stay sharp and focused.

We take a turn and we walk into a very creepy, dark corridor with barely any lights. I feel uncomfortable almost immediately.

"Despite the creepy hallway, the rooms in here are still the same as the ones upstairs," Lysithea informs. "We noticed that the staff doesn't like to walk through here, so it would be the best place to hide you guys for now." 

"This is the one," Annette announces as she twists a key into the lock of a door. "Let's go inside quickly." 

We follow her and thankfully, Lysithea was right about the room. It looks almost the same as the one I had with Dimitri, which comforts me. But at the same time, it makes me a bit uncomfortable too since I'll be sharing this single bed with Yuri. 

Linhardt catches my gaze directed to the bed. "Well, we didn't really count on bringing two people here, so you'll have to make do with this for now." 

"It's fine. Thank you for helping me as well as Claude," Yuri says to him. "I really appreciate it." 

Fine? It's not fine! Damn it, Yuri!

Linhardt nods before he takes a seat with Annette and Lysithea on the bed. Dedue keeps standing near the door. 

"There's a bathroom in there," I tell Yuri. "You can clean up if you like. Or you can stay here and listen to what's going on if you'd rather." 

"I think I'll go clean up. This is something between you and your friends after all. I'm on your side though, so just shout out if you need me." He squeezes my shoulder again before he announces to the others that he'll be in the bathroom. 

His words actually give me great comfort. For some reason, I just know he means what he says. Maybe because I helped him first? He doesn't seem like the kind of person to disregard something like that, despite his sneaky and secretive personality.

"So, take a seat. We have some explaining to do." Annette laughs nervously. 

I do as she says and take a seat on the bed as well. I'm getting a little nervous now too. What are they going to tell me? I don't think I'll get mad at them, since they saved me from that cell, but what if I can't trust them anymore? 

Maybe I'd like having Yuri here after all. He seems to be rational and clearheaded. Much more than myself anyway. 

Guess I won't know unless they tell me. 

"Alright." I don't know what else to say.

"How did you want to go about this? You want to ask questions or do you want us to just start explaining?" Lysithea asks. 

That's a good question. I think I want to ask though, so that I have control over the information they'll be sharing. And they can't leave anything out that way.

"I'll ask. Linhardt, what the hell were you up to when I got ambushed?" If he had just waited for me, none of this would have ever happened. 

"Ahem, well, that's an interesting question," he says. "You were incredibly slow coming out of Annette's room, so I figured I could look inside another patient's room in the meantime. I'd probably see you pass me in the hallway anyway, so 'there was no way we'd lose each other', was what I thought, but you messed up that plan completely." 

That's what he was doing? That explains why he was just gone all of a sudden. 

"Either way, I found out that the drug that was used on both Annette and Dedue was nowhere to be found in the room I was in, despite that there was a wounded person in there. Suspicious, to say the least, so I borrowed some medicine that was kept in the cabinets. But then some woman entered the room and kicked me out. She went back on her way, and when I exited the room, I saw the woman hurry off to the other staircase. I found that a bit weird, since she literally just came up, but I didn't think to link that to you at all."

Wow, if even Linhardt didn't see that coming, just how random were my actions? I can't say I regret doing it though, Annette needed help. 

"Then, I headed back to Dedue and Annette's room and to my surprise, Annette was gone. I thought it was safe to assume that the woman saw that and started chasing after her, so I left that to the woman and went inside to take care of Dedue. I was completely unaware of your actions, so I stayed in Dedue's room for quite some time. I noticed the woman who went after Annette hadn't returned anymore, so it was then that I went back downstairs to see what was going on. I also thought I'd tell you about my findings, but all I found was a crying Lysithea. Everyone else had disappeared off to somewhere and Lysithea couldn't get out a word through all of her sobbing. It took her a while before she eventually explained what happened. And well, you know what happened." 

I nod. I guess Linhardt wasn't really to blame for anything in the first place. And after hearing that, I guess it was wrong for me to try and put the blame on his absence.

I think it's also safe to assume that Linhardt got Dedue and Annette both back to their current states. I'm happy he managed to do that. 

I turn to Lysithea. "What did Flayn tell you guys about me that caused everyone to doubt me all of a sudden?" 

"Oh, boy." She takes a deep breath. "It started the night before, actually. She came to my room at night, saying something about me being lonely because I'm the only girl, so she'd keep me company. I didn't mind at all, because I still liked and trusted her back then. We talked about lots of things, and she was so knowledgeable on so many different subjects. Now I know she was just trying to win me over, but at the time I was so fascinated by her." 

She smiles, but it looks sad. To be honest, I can imagine Flayn has experience on fooling people like that. She fooled me too in the beginning and by the time I realized, it was already too late. 

Heck, she even fooled Yuri. Or at least his allies.

She continues. "Magic, medics, the human body, her past, religion, the monastery back in the day; we discussed so many things. I didn't want to seem boring, so I told her about lots of things too. And I really felt that I could trust her with that information. God, I was so stupid. I told her about my nightmares, our theory about what they could really have meant, the monastery nowadays… all of it. Eventually, she asked about you. I should have understood what she was after, but the subtle way she brought it up… I just didn't realize. And well, your story is so unusual, I was actually proud to tell her about you. How from an isolated boy, you've grown into the amazing and great leader you are now. And she actually agreed with me. I'm so sorry, Claude. If only I had your or Linhardt's observant eyes." 

Well, fuck. So Lysithea told her about me after all. She exposed me to Flayn, allowing her to make up the perfect fake story about me.

But I can't feel any anger coming up. For some reason, I just can't feel angry at Lysithea. She genuinely had no idea what Flayn was really after. She just walked right into her trap.

Maybe Yuri was wrong. Betrayal can be a mistake, obviously. Or maybe it's not even betrayal what Lysithea did, just a genuine mistake because she didn't know. 

"Then during breakfast, when you and Linhardt dragged me to the hallway to discuss Flayn's behavior, I didn't want to hear it. Because if Flayn actually had bad intentions, I would have been the one to allow her to follow through with her plan. And I never meant to, Claude. I promise that I never intended to hurt you like this. I know how much you've struggled with trusting us in the beginning and I hate the idea of being the one to destroy everything you've worked so hard for to change."

She wipes away some tears that roll over her cheeks. Annette puts an arm around her shoulders to offer some comfort. 

I kinda knew all this time that Lysithea couldn't have meant to hurt me. Not like this. Hearing it from her only confirms those thoughts. I believe her. And I know that it's not that I've become too trusting now, there's just no way that Lysithea would willingly betray me. 

"So when the three of us went outside, Flayn had already grasped the opportunity to talk to the others about your 'plans'. And they believed her. Not at first, obviously. They doubted her, laughed at her even. Dimitri literally told her to just shut up because there was no way you would ever sacrifice your friends for something selfish. I was so glad. So happy that even though I had done wrong, the others were still loyal to you." 

So they were loyal to me? Even Felix? But then how did this mess happen? 

"But then she started bringing up pieces of your past, things that I had told her. She kept asking 'isn't that right, Lysithea?' everytime she said something and I tried hard to deny her statements for your sake, but Dimitri knew about your past too. He confirmed things for her, things I denied, which made him start to doubt me and believe her instead. I realized I messed up, once again. Then, when I tried to convince Dimitri that what Flayn was saying was absolutely ridiculous, Felix started to meddle. 'Could it be that you're helping Claude?' he asked me. I hadn't expected any question like that, so I didn't know what to answer right away. Their gazes were so intense and the atmosphere was starting to get dangerous, so I denied it. And it wouldn't even have mattered what I said. I unknowingly confirmed for them that you were up to something by answering that question in the first place. She lured me into a trap and before I could think of a way to save us both, she noticed you casually walking past the dining room." 

It's hard for me to believe that Flayn is this precise in her ways of handling. She knew exactly who I had the strongest bond with and she used that against us. 

And because Linhardt wasn't around, Lysithea became the perfect target. Flayn had to know that Linhardt and Lysithea are a dangerous combination, so all she needed was both him and me out of the picture to leave Lysithea in a perfectly vulnerable position.

Did she know we'd go and see Annette and Dedue? There's no way she thought that far ahead, right? No, that can't be. That would mean Annette is working with Flayn. 

I pray to god that Annette isn't working with Flayn.

"Well, you know what happened in the hallway. I really, absolutely hated that. Everyone was agitated from her previous accusations, but Felix and Dimitri both took it very hard. Felix was pissed and it was obvious that Dimitri was just really confused about everything. Sylvain had been trying to calm the situation at the table, but something just shifted in him when he saw you carrying Annette. That really was the last drop for all three of them."

Now that I understand what happened at their table, everything that happened after that makes much more sense to me. I figured that running around with Annette was a serious mistake on my part, but even if I didn't have Annette with me, they'd find something else to confront me with. 

Leaving the table in the first place was the biggest mistake I could've made. 

"Everything went according to Flayn's plans. Of course, you running around with Annette wasn't calculated, but it definitely worked in her favor. She caught you doing something only you could explain, but she didn't plan on letting you. I was left with two choices; I'd either play along with her, or stick up for you. I figured that, even if it was extremely cruel to pretend I didn't believe you, it was the only chance I'd get to save you after. I just needed Linhardt so we could think of something. I was really stressed about the fact that he wasn't around to help me out. On the other hand, if I had protected you, she'd have seen me as a threat too and ultimately would have tried to eliminate me as well, before I could ever get a chance to help you." 

Yeah, that was indeed cruel. But at least I know her version of the story now. She made mistakes, big ones at that, but she couldn't have seen this coming. Only Flayn knew what she, herself was up to. That is, if Annette didn't know. 

Lysithea may not think that Annette was in on this, but it was very convenient for her to be awake right when Linhardt and I were there. I'm keeping an eye on Annette, and I'm telling Linhardt to do so as well. 

I'm not taking any risks with trusting anyone anymore.

But now I'm sure that I can't blame Lysithea for what happened. And I can neither blame Felix for his actions, nor Sylvain. But Dima… 

Dima should have helped me. He's my boyfriend for god's sake. There's no way that he couldn't have done anything. Lysithea, a small fragile girl with guilt and the anger of four guys gnawing at her, obviously wouldn't be able to think clearly in a situation like that. But Dimitri should have done something, anything. 

But he just walked away from me when he could have saved me. That's what I'm really bitter about.

"After Sylvain knocked you out, he and Felix had to drag you to the prison Flayn had mentioned. I was so glad she only decided to lock you up, rather than do something much more severe. Either way, I followed them. I needed to know where the prison was located, if it was the last thing I did. I figured that, if I knew that, I'd just have to tell Linhardt and we'd find a way to save you. Even without the help of the others. Flayn seemed to only give directions, because she headed back inside soon after stepping outside. I followed after Felix and Sylvain, but I should have followed after Flayn instead. Because when I returned, both Flayn and Raphael were gone. I-I don't know what happened to Raphael and we're still looking for him, but we haven't really made any progress in finding him yet. Flayn doesn't appear often anymore either." 

My heart stops beating. Raph is gone? Did Flayn take him somewhere? He wasn't in the prison too, was he? I'll have to ask Yuri when he comes out of the bathroom. 

But if he's not in the prison, where could he be? And how does Flayn keep an eye on us if she's hardly ever around? 

Unless she has someone in our group who passes on information to her. I can't help but glance over to Annette, who still has her arm around Lysithea.

"Don't lose your head, Claude," Linhardt tells me. "We're trying, okay? You can't do anything right now, so have faith in us. We'll find him." 

I want to believe that. I really do, but my gut feeling tells me something terrible happened, and more is definitely to come. 

"Claude, listen to me," Linhardt instructs. "You are under no conditions allowed to leave this room, understand?" 

I nod. "Yeah, of course. What about during the night though? No one will recognize me, I promise." 

He shakes his head. "No, Claude. Under no conditions." 

"Just lock us up from the outside when you leave. Claude can't exit if he doesn't have the key." Yuri steps out of the bathroom with his hair wet and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. 

Oh my lord. I'm gonna die tonight, I'm sure of it. Despite how much weight he lost in that cell, he still looks amazing. His hair is washed and any dirt stains are gone, leaving him in the most beautiful state I've seen yet.

I briefly wonder what it's going to be like to sleep next to him in this bed, but I try to forget about the thought just as quickly as it came up.

I'm still Dima's. I'm still taken.

"Oh my god, clothes?!" Lysithea shouts as she slaps her hands in front of her eyes. 

"Shh, not so loud!" Annette shushes Lysithea while openly staring at Yuri too. 

Not that I'm staring, absolutely not. I'm observing. Yeah, that's better. 

"I didn't want to wear the dirty clothes I had on when we came here," Yuri explains and that's a perfectly fine explanation. 

I can't say I blame him. Or mind this. 

"I'll go out and look for clothes," Dedue offers. 

I almost forgot he was still in here too. He really is a quiet man. But is it a good idea to let him go alone? What if he's in on this too? It wouldn't be surprising if Annette is.

What if Annette said I can't see Dima because she's scared I'll ruin their plan? I need to see him.

Yuri thanks Dedue as he comes over to me to sit on the bed next to me. Despite there being much other space left, he still sits in a very close proximity to me.

Why does he need to do that? Maybe he saw me staring. I mean observing. I sure hope he didn't. 

He leans towards me so that only I can hear him. "Did you find out what happened?" 

I nod. I don't really trust my voice right now. I can smell the soaps he used on his hair and body and a soft warmth radiates from his presence. 

"And how are you feeling now?" He asks in a low voice. I feel the hot air of his breath against my ear.

I don't even think he's doing this on purpose, which makes it even harder for me to stay cool. 

"I-I'm not sure." I'm feeling turned on, that's for sure. "I mean, I'm glad I finally know their side of the story, but what happened to the others just doesn't sit right with me." 

"The others being… I'm guessing your man?" 

I nod. "Yeah, him and his friends actually. And to top things off, one of my friends is missing apparently. Do you know if anyone besides me got locked up in the prison?" 

Raph… Please be alright. I'd never forgive anyone here if something's happened to Raph, including myself. 

He shakes his head. "No, sorry. But that's nasty. I'm guessing that's why you aren't allowed to leave this room? Because you'll go look for him first chance you get?" 

"That's right. So thanks a lot for suggesting they take the key with them, that's definitely helpful," I grumble. 

He chuckles. "Sorry about that. I'm sure I can still convince them to leave the key here. But even then, you can't go outside. You wouldn't just be risking your own freedom, but your friends' and mine as well." 

That makes sense. But then why would he still get the key for me? 

"If I can't go outside, I won't need a key, will I?" 

"If you want to go see your man, you'll need to be able to leave this room at least. But we'll wait until they've left. Just be patient." 

I nod. Okay, I can do that. I'll go see Dima later. I still need to tell Linhardt to keep an eye on Annette. I hate that Dedue left before I could say anything. 

"Linhardt? Could you come here for a sec?" This could not be any more suspicious, so I make sure to gauge Annette's reaction to this. 

She's allowed to know I found out. I hope she'll panic and make mistakes so I can catch everyone who still poses a threat to my friends. 

Linhardt gets up from his position to sit behind me and Yuri. "What is it?" 

I make brief eye contact with Yuri, which for whatever reason encourages me to tell Linhardt about my worries. 

I can't go back once I've said these words, so it's a risk I'm taking too by not trusting someone who came to save me, despite the danger attached to having done so. 

"Is… Do you think Annette and Dedue might be working with Flayn?" 

I notice Yuri's gaze switch from me to Annette immediately. It's not because I look at him often, it just caught my eye. That's all. 

"I don't blame you for thinking that, in all honesty. It crossed my mind too, especially because everything worked out so well for Flayn. But I don't really think we have anything to worry about regarding those two. I've been with both of them almost non-stop to help them recover and I found nothing suspicious about either of their behavior," Linhardt explains. 

If Linhardt says so, I believe him. If he actually considered the idea and denies it, I don't think I have much to worry about. 

And I know I can believe Linhardt. 

"Is that enough to convince you?" Yuri asks me. 

I nod. "Yeah, Linhardt's a good guy. I trust him." 

Yuri nods at me before he glances back at Annette. He doesn't even know why I was, yet he's still suspicious of her. It's like I got my own personal Seteth now. 

Linhardt actually smiles at my reassurance. "Thank you, Claude. I'm still keeping an eye on them, so you don't need to worry about that." 

"Hey, Linhardt, or whatever your name is, leave the key here, will you? I don't feel comfortable with being locked up again already," Yuri tells him. 

He seems to consider the idea, but I can already tell Linhardt's gonna be difficult. I wonder if Yuri can play him the same way he's been playing me. 

"Hmm, I don't see any difference in taking the key or leaving it here. You can't leave the room anyway. If I take it, at least I'll be sure that Claude won't try anything stupid."

I want to protest, but Yuri gestures that I need to be quiet. Fine, I'll let him try.

"That may be right, but if we're locked up in here, we really have no means of getting out. I get what you're trying to say, but if anything happens, we're fucked. And what if Flayn found us out? We wouldn't be able to get away, so ultimately we'd be luring you into danger because you're gonna have to let us out at some point. I'm telling you, it's best if we have some means of escaping. We won't go outside if we don't have to, you have my word." 

Wow. I thought I was a good liar, but Yuri's absolutely the king. And he didn't even really lie, he just has a really good way of manipulating. I'm in awe. 

"I guess if you put it like that, it would be better if I left the key here," Linhardt admits. "I don't like that you're speaking for Claude, because I usually know his intentions, but I don't know yours. I do hope you're not planning on doing something risky though. It's important that you stay hidden."

"Yes, absolutely. I don't intend to get caught again, so you can put your faith in me and I'll make sure that Claude will stay put," Yuri tells him with a smile. 

Linhardt stares at him for a few seconds in complete silence before he sighs. "Alright, fine. Claude, if you still have any questions or comments, please speak up now so I can go sleep once we're finished." 

Do I have any questions? I think I know everything from them. He and Lysithea explained most of the things I've been worried about. All that's left now is Dima. 

"No, I think I'm fine. If I think of anything, I'll let you know next time we see you guys again." 

I'm excited to go see Dima. I can't wait to see and hug him again. Fuck, I missed him. If our conversation goes as well as the conversation here, I'm sure I can get our group back together real soon. 

"Alright. I'll collect the girls and leave you two alone. Make sure to lock the door once we get out," he instructs before he walks over to Lysithea and Annette. 

"Oh, we're leaving already?" Annette asks. She seems disappointed. 

I'm feeling a little guilty for doubting her now. A girl as sweet and joyful as Annette, how could I even suspect her? Ridiculous, Claude.

"I guess Claude and mister Yuri are both tired too," Lysithea tells her. "We'll come and bring you breakfast tomorrow morning. Be safe, you guys." 

"Thank you all. Really, thank you for getting us out." I don't know what I would have done without these guys. Do I love them? I think I love them. 

"You guys be safe too," Yuri tells them. "Don't get caught out there." 

"We'll make sure of that, but thanks anyway," Linhardt answers. "Bye for now." 

"See ya." It's weird to see them walk out like that. 

As soon as the door closes, Yuri turns back to me. 

"So, it's just you and me again for now." 

"Yeah, looks like it." I don't like this after all. 

I'm just going to think about Dima and not be distracted by Yuri and that droplet of water dripping off his hair, running over his chest, down his stomach and into his towel.

Too bad my heart doesn't want to cooperate. It's beating like crazy. 

Just why do I feel this way? How can this guy have such an effect on me? I don't even know him and I feel more annoyed at him than anything. And yet, I can't stop looking at him and wanting to impress him. I want him to look at me too and notice me. 

Is it because I haven't been with Dima for a few days? Or maybe because Dima's hurt me and now I want to be comforted? But wouldn't it make more sense if I want to be comforted by Dima, rather than Yuri? 

Argh! This is so annoying! I used to be so happy all on my own and look at me now, wanting attention from random guys. 

I'm shameless after all. I subconsciously pull up my shirt so it covers the hickeys on my neck. 

I'm hiding Dima's marks on me. What a terrible thing to do. But I already told Yuri before that I'm taken, so it's not like he doesn't know. 

Just ignore Yuri. Even if it's hard, I just have to ignore him. Don't look at him, don't listen to his flirting. Just think about Dima. 

"Everything okay? You seem a bit uncomfortable." 

"Yes, I'm great," I answer. "I'm just waiting so I can go to Dima." 

He huffs. "Are you really planning on going to see him? I don't know if it's such a good idea." 

"What do you mean? You literally got me the key so I could." 

"Only because I couldn't have this discussion with you when the others were still around. Both girls said he's not himself right now. You seemed to know what they meant by that, so do you really think it'll be a good idea to see him? On your own, at that?" 

Where is this coming from all of a sudden? "Yeah, I think it's a good idea. I know what kind of state he's in now. I've seen it twice and I got him out of it both times. I'll be fine." 

"Well, if you're so confident, who am I to stop you? Just promise me that you'll keep the door open. I want you to be able to get out if anything goes wrong." 

When did he get so protective? It makes me feel all fuzzy inside, he needs to stop. 

"Okay, fine. I'll leave the door open for you. Did you want to come and hold my hand on the way there too?" 

"Aw, are you scared to walk through this hallway by yourself? That's precious." 

Right, I forgot this hallway is damn creepy.

I stick out my tongue at him. Very mature, I know, but I need to show him that I'm not precious. 

"I'm gonna go wash up. See you in a bit." I walk over to the bathroom door, but Yuri stops me before I can enter.

"Claude, wait. If that guy returns with clothes, where do you want me to put them?" 

Whew, good thing I decided to have a bath before I went out. I forgot about Dedue, again. 

"Uhm, I'll leave the door open. But you can't look," I warn him.

He laughs though. "Seriously? You expect me not to look at you while you're in a bathtub, naked? I didn't think you'd be cruel like that. A beauty like you should be shared with the world." 

He really needs to stop talking to me like that. I don't want to make any mistakes here in this room. 

"I mean it. Only Dima can see me naked, so behave." Don't tempt me.

"Alright, sure. Get your dirty ass washed already. I filled half the tub for you, so you just need to let in some hot water to temper it." 

How thoughtful. "Thank you." 

"Don't thank me, you'll be paying me back." 

I decide not to comment on that and just enter the bathroom. 

Like Yuri said, the bathtub is filled until half already. I take his advice and pour in some hot water to get it to the right temperature. 

I miss Dima. Last time I was in a bathroom like this one, Dima was sitting right next to me. It somehow feels like that was so long ago. Dima didn't help me when I needed him. He wasn't there for me. But I still miss him. 

I want to just forget about his mistakes. Would he forget about mine then, too? 

I strip down and step in the tub to lower my body in the delightfully hot water. How I missed being warm. 

Warmth… I love warmth. Dima was warm. And Yuri was warm too.

Dima, Yuri; they're both a lot different from each other, yet I feel attracted to both of them. Is it because they give me the kind of attention I've had to miss out on for so long? 

But if that's the case, am I fooling myself with fake feelings? Is it just my body reacting because it's new? 

That can't be it, right? There's no way I'm so desperate. I'm just kidding, I'm terribly desperate. 

Desperate to the point where I'd forget about Dimitri's mistake and just run right back into his arms, simply because I miss him. 

Desperate to the point where I get turned on from a guy who'd kill a person for doing what Dima did to me. 

What have I gotten myself into? 

I squeeze the same scented stuff into my hands as I used before and spread it across my hair. It's not as tangled and gross as it was before, so it goes a lot easier and faster this time. 

I wash my body as well, but I'm warier of my arm this time. I can't believe I forgot to ask Linhardt to heal it. Maybe Yuri would. 

Would it be weird if I called him inside? Probably. But would he mind? Maybe not. 

I need to stop making excuses. I don't want Yuri in here. I want Dima. At least, until I've talked this out with him and I've figured out what I want to do. 

"Claude? Dedue brought clothes, so I'm coming in to give you these. Cover anything you want to cover." 

Not even three seconds pass before Yuri opens the door and walks in. He still looks so good, it hurts. 

I barely manage to cover my parts with my hands to prevent him from making out anything. 

He chuckles. "God, Claude, you're so fucking cute. Like I could actually see anything through the water. I'll leave your clothes here, is that fine? I'll get out again right away, so you won't be bothered anymore." 

I nod, but I don't want him to leave yet. Am I cheating on Dima by thinking this way about Yuri? It doesn't count if I don't act on it, right? 

He's about to leave the small bathroom again, but my stupid mouth decides to stop him.

"Uh, wait. Please." My mouth has its own free will, I swear. 

He turns back around. "Hm? Did you need something else?" 

He's not even smirking at me right now, which makes me feel even worse about this. Is he not interested in me after all? Why am I stupid? 

"Uh, well, could you maybe… heal my arm? I forgot to ask Linhardt and I don't really know any magic myself, so…" I try to ease the tension I'm feeling by laughing, but it sounds as nervous as I am. 

No going back on it now, I guess. 

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Did you forget on purpose, so I'd heal you? Or were you so focused on seeing your man again that you sent your friends outta here first chance you got?" 

What the hell? "It wasn't on purpose. I just- I was going to ask Linhardt tomorrow but it started to hurt from the water. That's why I'd like a heal now, but it's okay if it's too much work for you." 

I don't know why I lied. There's no way he's falling for that, I even stuttered. 

"Okay, let me see that arm of yours. How did that even happen?" He walks over to the tub and takes a gentle hold of the arm I'm reaching out to him with. 

"I got bitten by one of the infected out there. The wound got inflamed, so it turned out like this." 

He laughs softly. "You're as reckless as you seem. Gotta be more careful out there before something really bad happens to you." 

I can't help but watch him as he inspects the wound on my arm. He's so focused, so gentle that I can hardly believe this is the same guy who's been getting on my nerves the whole time. 

"Are you saying that you're worried about me?" My mouth is moving on its own accord again. 

"It wouldn't help anyone if you were gone. Your friends obviously count on you to get them through this." 

He's not answering the question. 

"I asked about you, not my friends." 

He takes a moment before he answers. He gently massages the red skin of my arm around the wound. 

"Are you falling for me, Claude?" 

"I asked a question first," I say in a low voice. 

Why won't he answer me? Was he toying with me after all? 

"I don't see the point in answering that if I can't gain anything from it." 

Gain anything? So, if I admit that I might be falling for him, which I'm totally not, he'll answer my question? 

"You're so stingy with sharing your information. It's annoying." 

He chuckles at that. "Sorry if I don't act the way you want me to. But you're not much different from me in that way." 

He finally casts his healing spell on my arm, which relieves the redness of the skin around the wound. 

"Are you falling for me then?" I ask instead. 

"What would you do if I am?" He counters. 

Well, uhm. I don't know. What would I do if he is? 

"Nothing," is the answer I eventually settle on. 

It hurts to say it right in his face, but nothing is all I can do right now. I'm still Dima's. 

"Hmpf. Alright. At least you're honest." With that, he stands up to leave without another word. 

I don't say anything to him anymore either, even though he moves slowly to give me a chance to change my mind. 

I don't. 

I have a feeling I just fucked up, despite that there wasn't even anything to fuck up in the first place. I know I made the right decision to stick with Dima, but why do I feel so empty now? 

.

After I'm finished with my bath, I'm kinda dreading walking back into the bedroom. 

Yuri's in there and he might be upset with me. 

Nonetheless, I obviously need to cross the room to get to the hallway and walk over to Dima's room. Is Dima still in our room? 

I decide to just head into the bedroom, ask Yuri to unlock the door and head out on my quest. 

That's not too hard. 

I walk in to see Yuri lying on the bed, facing the wall. He's moping, I'm sure of it. 

"Uhm, Yuri? Could you open the door please?" I hope Dima can make me feel better. 

A few seconds pass without him answering or even moving, which leads to me thinking he fell asleep already. 

Well, that's fantastic.

I walk over to the dresser to check if he put the key there, but he didn't. I'm sure he's holding onto it himself. Jerk. 

"You're really going to see him, huh? Despite the obvious risk you're taking by walking out of this room?" 

His voice scares me, but I recover quickly enough to answer him. 

"Yes. If I get caught, I won't tell anyone you're here. I just need to see him." 

He moves to sit up while I was talking. "You're such an idiot. Here, take it before I change my mind." He holds out his hand in which he's holding the key to the door. 

"Thank you." Should I apologize? I feel like he's upset with me, but it wouldn't make sense to apologize for being faithful to my lover, right? 

Right. 

I open the door with the key and walk back to Yuri to return it, but he refuses it. 

"Keep it with you. Lock the door when you get out. I don't want to have to stay awake, waiting for you to come back." 

I nod before I put the key into my pocket. He trusts that I'll come back, so I will. 

"Bye," I say before I open the door. 

I don't get an answer, so I leave without one. I really hope I'm making the right decision by leaving Yuri and going to see Dima. 

.

This building is completely dead at night. It's eerie and it makes me very uncomfortable. 

Better to hurry up and get to Dima quickly. 

When I finally make it to the room Dima and I shared before, my nerves start acting up. My stomach feels funny and my hands are getting sweaty. 

How silly. Dima is my boyfriend. And he's the one who made a mistake, not me. He's lucky I'm willing to come back to him. 

That does not make me feel better. 

Still, I gather all the courage I can muster and knock on the door. Fuck, what if he's sleeping? I don't want to wake him up! Should I leave? I'll just leave. 

No, stop that, Claude. It's just Dima in here. It's just Dima. 

"Dimitri? Are you awake?" I ask, but I don't receive an answer. 

I should probably leave after all. Right when I'm about to, I hear a shuffling sound from behind the door. He's not asleep after all. 

I open the door, which isn't locked, to find a view I did not expect to see. 

The whole room is a giant mess. The first thing I see is the bed, which lacks pillows and a blanket. Both nightstands have disappeared off to somewhere. I push the door open a bit further. 

"Dima..?" I cautiously whisper. 

One of the nightstands is lying there, broken into pieces, the other one is lying in front of the door. Did Dimitri do all this? There's a hole in the wall next to the window and the dresser against the wall is broken into pieces as well. 

I take a small step inside the room, but I leave the door open like I promised I would. Maybe Yuri was right, maybe I'm making a mistake by seeing him alone. 

But I'm here now, and I want to fix this. Dimitri is probably angry with Flayn for locking me up. He'll be happy, delighted to see me again. He'll hug me and kiss me and we can pretend nothing ever happened. 

At least for now. 

"How dare you show your face in here?" A low voice asks me from the back of the room. 

***

"Dima?" 

A dark shape stands up from where it was sitting down and it starts approaching me. 

"What do you think you're doing here, Claude? Get out." 

What? Is he serious? He sounds serious, but I don't understand. 

"Why? I came to talk with you, I don't want to leave yet." 

Dimitri's large figure finally steps into the faint light coming from the hallway and the sight of him terrifies me if I'm being honest. 

"Talk? You came to talk with me? Did you come to tell more lies? You don't think I've heard enough yet?" 

His voice is low and threatening and my breath gets stuck in my throat. The whole image I had of Dimitri until now has disappeared. My Dima is gone, replaced by something feral. Something dangerous, like a wild beast. 

"I-I never lied to you, I-" 

"Don't try to fool me again! How dare you show your face to me here? You must have a death wish. Tell me, Claude. Did you enjoy it? Fooling us all into thinking that you were on our side?" 

"What are you talking about? I'm not trying to-" He grabs my collar and pushes me against the door, slamming it closed it in the action.

"Answer me! Did you enjoy it?!" He screams. His teeth are bared at me and his full weight is pressing me against the door. 

My head and shoulder hurts from the impact and it's getting hard to breathe, but he doesn't let up in the slightest.

"I didn't lie," I breathe out. "Please, believe me-" 

He pulls me away from the door to slam me against the broken down dresser. I feel like some kind of doll, the way he's just throwing me around like I don't weigh a thing. 

"It seems you're still enjoying it, aren't you? Have you ever considered the effect your words have on someone? On me?!" 

What the hell happened to him? How did it escalate to this? I never expected his mood to be directed at me. I need to get out of here. I need to escape from him. 

He might actually really kill me. 

"Can't… breathe..!" My eyes start to water, but I'm not sure if it's an effect of being choked to death or the idea of having hurt Dimitri to the point where he feels like this is the only way out.

Am I even getting through to him? 

I shouldn't have come alone. Yuri should have held my hand on my way here and waited for me outside this room so I could shout if I needed him. I should have answered his question and told him the truth. But that wouldn't have changed Dimitri.

I should have trusted Dimitri more. I should have told him and convinced him of my suspicions about Flayn. I should have opened up to him more, even more than I already tried to do. 

"...Dima, please! -'re killing… me..!" 

Hasn't anyone heard his screams? Is no one around to help me? Would anyone even help me? 

Lysithea's or Linhardt's rooms aren't close to Dimitri's. Neither are Felix and Sylvain's and I literally locked Yuri inside of our room. 

After what seems to be an eternity of no air, Dimitri finally releases the pressure on my throat, allowing me to breathe in again.

"Does it hurt? Does it hurt to have your breath taken away by someone who doesn't care about whether you can breathe or not?! Because that's what you've done to me Claude! That's all you've been doing to me!" 

A drop of water falls onto my cheek before Dimitri lifts me back up. I'm just dangling in the air now, being supported by just his one arm in my collar.

"You never let me breathe. You don't understand what you do to me, Claude. You talk and talk and talk and everything always goes your way. Not this time. I won't let you hurt anyone for your own disgusting reasons. You can go see your father, but not over mine, or my friends' backs. Do you understand?" 

Even if I knew what to answer him, it'd be impossible to actually say anything. My jaw seems plastered to my face and I can't move at all. All I can do is desperately cling to his arm to somehow get a grip on anything. 

His frustrations run way deeper than just what happened with Flayn. He's been unhappy in our relationship, to the point where he felt like he was suffocating. Why has he never told me about that? Does he really feel like I just manipulate him so he'll do whatever I want? 

I never intended to. I never meant to treat him like that. 

"I… s'rry…" Please let go. 

"Too late," he says and angles his hand in such a way that my whole weight falls onto the fist in my throat. "I lost my friends because of you. Because of your selfish reasons, we went into the forest where everything went to shit! Ashe, Mercedes… how do you sleep so peacefully, Claude? How do you sleep while knowing they died because of you?! I don't! I don't sleep! All I do at night, is watch you while you rest up like you deserved it. How dare you, Claude? How dare you?!" 

I had no idea Dimitri has been struggling with this for so long. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Even though I can't say it out loud, and even though an apology could never get across my regrets of what happened, it's all I've got to offer.

"And now you're trying to take Annette from me too. Who was next on your list? Who was going to be your next victim?!" 

He slams me back against the cabinet, which collapses even further from the force he's using. I'm not going to survive this. If he doesn't stop this abuse right now, he'll kill me. 

But isn't that what he's trying to do? Is Dima really trying to kill me here? What have I done to him? 

I'm a monster. 

Everything he said, I can't deny it. I just wish he'd talked to me before, so that he didn't have to deal with his pain for so long.

For a second, I'm considering just letting him take my breath and give him what he thinks he needs to get the closure he's desperately trying to obtain. But my survival instincts decide to kick up and I knee him in the balls. 

The iron grip he had on my throat releases me and it takes me a few precious seconds to regain control over my breathing. The dancing spots in my vision aren't disappearing yet, so I'll have to make my escape with them. This is the only chance I'll get at leaving before he actually decides it's time to kill me. 

I stand up and a bile of puke immediately tries to make its way out of my throat. I haven't eaten in a long time, yet my stomach still feels the need to empty itself right now. 

I can't even hold it in and spit it right out in the middle of Dimitri's doorway. Another wave of vomit is coming soon after the first one, but I really can't afford to waste time right now. 

I need to get away from him. Now. 

***

I stumble into the direction of the door and I actually bump against it before I can manage to open it. I slip through the opening without looking back at Dimitri even once. 

Hot tears stream down my face freely and the blurry wetness makes it incredibly difficult for me to find my way back. 

I lose count of how many times I bump against walls or supportive pillars, but I keep stumbling along. I have to. 

My breathing is harsh and it burns in my sore throat. My head and back hurt from where Dimitri slammed me against different surfaces, but I keep moving. 

I'm terrified Dimitri is coming after me to finish the job, so I can't slow down. Not until I get where I need to go. 

I finally find the staircase, but I don't even realize it's the staircase until it's too late. I trip and fall down the stairs. Multiple bones start aching, but they don't feel fractured, so I continue on. 

"Boy, are you alright? You don't look so good," a voice behind me says. 

"...I-I'm fine. Thanks," is my reply. I can't see who it was, but given the white hair, I think it's one of the elders that lives here. 

She says something else, but I block out her voice. I just need to get back to Yuri. 

.

My hands tremble so bad that I can't even put the key in the lock. After missing quite a few times, I finally manage to get it in and twist it. 

Ah, look at that, one of my fingers did get fractured. 

I try to walk in as quietly as I can, but seeing Yuri lying in the bed just causes me to whimper pathetically. 

"Claude? You're back already?" 

"Y-Yuri..!" I sob loudly.

His shape gets out of the bed and walks over to me. "Hey, what happened? Did it not go well?" 

I shake my head. 

"Hey, don't worry. Maybe he was just in a bad mood now. You can always try again tomorrow." 

I know he's trying to comfort me, but his words just make me feel anxious about having to see Dimitri again. 

"I can't. I'm not going to him anymore." 

He stays quiet for a bit.

"I need to use the bathroom. I think I'm bleeding." I stumble past Yuri to get to the sink so I can clean up a little. 

My mouth tastes like vomit, there's wet and dried tears on my face, I think my nose was bleeding, or at least runny and I just want to sit somewhere I can feel sorry for myself.

"Bleeding..? Did he hurt you?" Yuri follows me into the bathroom, where he finally sees what Dimitri did to me. And the stairs. 

"Oh my god, Claude… What the fuck happened? Did Dimitri do all this?" His gentle fingers run over my arm, which is guaranteed to be covered in bruises tomorrow. 

I shake my head. "Not all of it. I also fell down the stairs." 

"Let me try and take care of you. I can't really heal well, but I might be able to relieve the pain a little." He guides me over to the bathtub so I can sit on the edge. 

"Why are you helping me?" My voice sounds like absolute shit. 

He tch'es at me. "Why am I helping you? Just look at you!" 

"Didn't I hurt you too though? And you warned me, so I kinda deserve this. It's my fault for not listening." 

"No, stop talking before I punch you. This isn't your fault. He should have never retorted to violence, no matter how your conversation went." He starts healing my hands, which I notice have more than one broken finger. 

"That's funny, we didn't even have a conversation. Yet, I still know that we'll probably never get back together. How sad is that?" New tears form and roll down my cheeks. "I've been so stupid. He's been angry with me for so long and I never noticed. Isn't that funny?" 

Instead of answering, Yuri wraps his arms around me and holds me like that for a while.

I really needed that. I cling to his shirt like my life depends on it, and I still don't feel close enough to him. 

"Where is his room?" He asks casually. 

"It's on the third floor. The long hallway, near the end. Why?" 

"I think I'm going to pay a visit to your Dima. I don't care if he thinks he has a good reason, no one has the right to abuse their lover. But let's get you to bed first. Come on." He lets go of my body so he can help me get up from the bathtub. 

"You can't," I protest, but it falls onto deaf ears. 

Despite how calm he sounded just now, everything in his body language tells me that Yuri isn't a person one should mess with. 

He helps me with getting under the blankets and actually tucks me in. "Get some rest. I'll be back when you wake up, okay?" 

He starts to get up and leave the room, but I can't let him leave like this. I know I can't stop him, so I should just tell him my feelings, in case this will be the last time I ever see him.

"I am falling for you," I whisper. 

When he turns around, I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. 

"How hard did you hit your head? Idiot." With that, the door closes again and the key turns in the lock.


	36. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooooo another chapter!! 
> 
> (No I really have nothing better to do all day but don't judge, you know you like it ;)) 
> 
> SO also a small heads up, we're slowly reaching the end of this part of the fic 
> 
> I'm not saying the story will end bc we still have lots to see, but I'll be splitting the fic into 2 pieces and possibly some oneshots to clear a few things up 
> 
> But that's all for a later time. For now, just enjoy this chapter
> 
> Warning; very dark thoughts and angst. But we were already used to that

I wonder what went wrong. I wonder when Dimitri started blaming me for everything that happened. I always felt like we were okay. Not once did I consider the idea that he holds me responsible. 

Was I too ignorant? Did I miss any signs? 

Was I too focused on myself and my needs? My goals? 

I close my eyes in another attempt to shut down my brain and fall asleep. My body aches everywhere, but I'm just too tired to stay awake. 

I curl up into a little ball. I'm such a failure. 

What happened to fulfilling my goals? I should have dealt with Byleth already by now. I should have already been back on my way towards the monastery to confront whoever is in there, yet I'm finding myself stuck in this mess.

Maybe I should just stop wanting to be loved. I never got hurt this bad back when I was the only person I cared about. I would never have gotten hurt this bad if I'd just listened to my mother. 

I thought my eyes had dried up a while ago, but it seems they're still capable of producing more tears. God, I hate feeling this way. 

I feel so helpless, so vulnerable. I'm just on the verge of giving up now. If everything I hold dear wants to destroy me so bad, why am I still holding on? Why am I still letting it? 

I touch my throat gently. Dimitri repeated the same action as the man who I considered to be the most evil of all. He did the exact same thing. Does that mean Dimitri hates me too? 

Will we really never go back to how we were before this village? 

I don't want to accept that. I miss him. I miss the loving guy who held and kissed me, who listened to me and who trusted me. 

The guy I trusted. 

I feel another painful stab in my heart at that thought. I really trusted him. 

I'm so tired. Tired of all this pressure on me, tired of these expectations I have to live up to, tired of getting hurt for trying. 

Maybe I should let Yuri take over for me. Just like he's doing with Dimitri right now. He'll do a much better job at leading us. I'll follow him. 

In the end, that's the easiest road. Just follow the person who has the strongest mindset. Just do as he says, and make sure I don't fuck up. And in the meantime, I'll judge his every decision as if I know what it's like to cope with all that pressure. I'll give him a hard time, just because I can. Because I don't feel the pressure of being responsible for other people's lives. I only have to think about my own life, and make sure I live. 

After all, that's what everyone's been doing to me too, isn't it? 

They keep kicking me down to see if I'll recover and get back up. And I have been, but why? Why do I continue this endless struggle? 

For them? For myself? For humanity? Ridiculous. If this is the thanks I get for my actions, I'll be way better off leaving this to someone else. Someone who wasn't forced to come out here with a group of strangers, but with a plan and good allies. 

Someone like Yuri. 

Looks like I'm not sleeping tonight, despite the heaviness of my eyelids. My eyes burn from all the crying I've been doing and I hate it. I hate this. I hate myself and I hate everything. 

I thought the betrayal had broken me before, but that was an overestimation. I now know what it's like to be broken completely, to the point where I don't even see a way out anymore besides giving up. 

I'll just give up. Universe, you finally did it. Claude von Riegan will not try to fix this mess anymore. I'm not the one who made it in the first place, so why would I? I was too hopeful. 

I have been too hopeful. Why did I even think for a second that I could be the one to fix this mess? Why did I assume Dimitri wouldn't be angry at me? 

I'm not some saint who can't do anything wrong. I make mistakes too. I'm only human, just like everyone here, yet I receive the harshest punishment for making a mistake. 

It's unfair. My life has been so unfair. Why did I have to lose my family? Why did I have to integrate in a country that doesn't appreciate strangers? Why was my childhood robbed from me? Why me? 

Maybe I shouldn't be here. Maybe I should go back to Almyra and look for my father. Leave everything behind and just disappear. 

I'm sure they'll be fine without me anyway. 

A clicking sound in the door is the only warning I get before Yuri enters the room. He closes the door behind him softly and walks over to the bathroom without making any sound. 

Damn, his stealth is flawless. Just like everything else about him.

I hear water running from the tap he just opened. It keeps running for a while. What's he doing? 

Eventually, he closes the tap and exits the bathroom again. Still with almost no sound. Is he an assassin or something? 

Did he murder Dimitri? 

I sit up straight with a jolt and damn if that doesn't hurt. I still need to know though. "Did you murder Dimitri?" 

"Claude, what the fuck," he mutters. Maybe I scared him. "Why aren't you sleeping?" 

"Did you just go in there to wash the blood off your hands?" I press. 

Why am I feeling so scared at the thought of Yuri killing Dimitri? Didn't Dimitri try to kill me too? 

"No, idiot. I didn't go over to kill Dimitri. Although it did cross my mind." He walks over to the bed and lifts the covers to crawl in beside me. 

It actually crossed his mind to murder Dimitri? For my sake? 

Instead of lying down, Yuri keeps sitting up next to me. He gently strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers. "How are you feeling?" 

"Defeated," I answer. It's the best and most normal sounding word that can describe my thoughts and feelings right now. 

"Yeah, I'm sure you are. Do you want some water?" 

It's weird for him to be so sweet to me. Probably because I'm such a wreck right now. 

He's pitying me. 

I shake my head, which causes the sore muscles in my neck to start aching again. Dimitri really hurt me. But I don't want Yuri's pity, so I try not to show I'm hurting.

"What did you go to Dimitri for?" 

He sighs, but it doesn't sound annoyed. More like 'I can't believe you still care'. 

I can't believe I still care either. 

His hand moves from my cheek to my hair. It feels nice. "I just went to have a word with him. I know by now that you're an idiot who still has the audacity to give a fuck about a guy who hurt you so much, so I gave him a choice. If he's willing to do anything and everything to earn your forgiveness, he'll come down here to have a decent talk with you. If he isn't, he can count on that in time, you'll be mine. I can't say what he'll do though. He didn't like my offer much." 

There's a chance Dimitri will come here? I actually doubt he will. Even if Yuri somehow managed to get through to him, I don't think Dimitri is going to swallow his pride and come down here to talk with me. 

Maybe he would come down here, but only to finish what he started. Maybe I wouldn't even mind. It's not like it would matter to anyone anyway. 

The world wouldn't end if I died, so what's the big deal? Maybe someone would be sad, but their lives will continue on, even without me.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks as he runs a hand through my hair. 

I just shrug.

He'll find me a weakling if I tell him I don't feel like living this shitty life of mine anymore. He'll probably lose all and any respect he's gained for me. He won't like me anymore.

"That's not what you're thinking. You can tell me, it's okay." His voice is low and soothing, but I know he doesn't mean that. 

Yuri isn't a person who wants to constantly have to comfort and reassure someone. He's a strong guy, there's no way he'd waste his time on someone weak like me. 

Someone broken like me. 

"I'm just so tired," I eventually whisper. The lump in my throat returns with full force and my eyes start to water again too. 

If he didn't think I was weak before, he surely does now. 

"Oh, Claude. Come here." He pulls my head towards his chest and wraps his arms around my sore body. "It's okay to be upset. You have nothing to be ashamed about. You're hurt, and it will take time to recover. I'm here with you and I'll protect you. You just focus on healing, I'll take care of the rest." 

Even after the non-stop negativity I've been basking myself in for the past hour, Yuri's words light up a small beacon of hope in my heart. 

Does he really mean that? I want it to be true, so badly, but can I really believe him? Can I really assume that he speaks the truth and that he'll keep his word? 

The answer is pretty simple. I can't. 

Not after the false words and promises I already heard from other people. Not when Dimitri promised me he'd stay with me. Even he broke that promise. He's not here with me. 

Yuri won't stay with me either. He says he will, but as soon as something goes wrong, he'll take back his words and leave me too. Or maybe he's just trying to get something out of me. I never know what he's thinking.

I pull away from his warm embrace and wipe away my own tears. I gotta learn how to stand on my own two feet again. I've relied too much on other people. They don't care about me, no matter how much I care about them. 

Humans really are ugly creatures, despite how pretty they look on the outside. Yuri is probably ugly as well, underneath his perfect outside. 

I'm ugly too. 

"Sorry, are you hurting anywhere?" He asks with a worried tone in his voice.

He's completely unaware of my inner dialogue, so he doesn't know. He doesn't know that it's my heart that's hurting. More than any abused part of my body. He can't heal that. 

"I'm just tired. I'll try to sleep now, good night." I lie back down as far to the edge of the mattress as I can without falling off. 

Yuri probably doesn't have much space on his side, but it should be fine. He can even have the blankets. My body will never feel as cold as my heart anyway. 

"I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't have, but please don't lock me out. You'll drown on your own," he whispers. 

That actually sounds fine with me. Drowning sounds much better than getting stabbed in the back and choked to death. 

Much more peaceful too. 

.

"-you said I could talk to him. Please, let me." 

That's a very familiar voice. I try to shut it out immediately. 

"I know, and I thought he'd want to," Yuri answers him. "But I didn't expect him to be so consumed by his negative feelings. Probably stupid of me to think that he'd be fine, no one would come out of such a situation unharmed. Not even Claude. So thanks for that." 

"I… I'm sorry. I understand where you're coming from, but I really need to apologize to him. He needs to understand that I don't blame him. I just- I don't even know why I said or did all those things. He didn't deserve that at all. Especially the abuse..." 

I take a peek at the source of both voices. Daylight is entering the room through the windows, allowing me to see the clear image of both Yuri and Dimitri talking and standing near the door. 

And it also allows me to see the damage they both probably inflicted on each other. Dimitri's jaw is bruised and his nose looks to have been broken and relocated again. Yuri's lip is cut and his eye is black and a bit swollen.

Dimitri looks to have come back to his senses. I'm somewhat glad to see him in this state again, but seeing him also triggers a fear in me. My hands start trembling involuntarily and my mouth goes completely dry.

"You're absolutely right about that; he didn't deserve that. To be honest, I didn't even think you'd come at all. I'll be sure to let Claude know when he wakes up though. I'll let him decide whether he wants to see you or not." 

Dimitri seems to hesitate. He knows Yuri is kicking him out, but for some reason he's stalling. 

"W-will you stay here with him? And make sure he won't be alone? Claude hates to be alone. He was always on his own before we came here and it seems to trigger some bad thoughts in his head. Maybe because he's been lonely for so long, or because his thoughts always seem to be all over the place, I'm not sure. But I think he'd appreciate if you stayed with him, even if he doesn't act like it." 

Yuri's eyes grow significantly bigger than before. "He hates being alone..? Fuck, what have I done?" He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. 

Dimitri doesn't answer, instead just waits for Yuri to elaborate. 

"I left him here on his own when he came back from seeing you last night," Yuri finally explains to him. "I guess that makes us both responsible for his current state. It would only make sense that we both try and get him out of it too." 

Dimitri nods in agreeance. "Yes, you're probably right about that." 

They both turn their heads to look at me now, which I really didn't see coming. I close my eyes to pretend I'm still sleeping, but they obviously caught me. 

"I guess I should leave then. I don't want to upset him more than I already did," Dimitri says. He takes a few steps, presumably to walk out of the room. 

I open my eyes again to see what's going on.

"Wait, I still need to discuss some things with you." Yuri glances over at me. "Uh, how should we go about this? I don't want him to get triggered because of your presence, but I'm obviously not leaving this room anymore." 

Why do either of them even care anymore? I don't need them. 

"You can leave. I don't really care," I tell Yuri. "Just don't get caught." 

I'm not wasting my voice and hurting my throat to say anything to Dimitri. His chance has come and gone, so even if he feels bad, he'll just have to deal with it himself. 

I'm dealing with my pain on my own too. I'm not accepting Yuri's help either. He lives by the quid-pro-quo principle, which I really don't need in my life right now. 

I'll be fine. Whatever happens, happens and I'll just see if I'll do something about it. 

"Hey, Claude. I didn't think you'd be up yet. You feeling okay?" Yuri looks at me and I can see he's trying to get an idea of what I'm thinking about.

Feeling okay? Do I seem like I'm feeling okay? 

"Yeah, I'm fine." 

Dimitri and Yuri share a look, which turns into a worried frown on both of their faces.

"I suppose I'll take my leave now. Maybe we can talk another time," Dimitri proposes. 

Yuri just nods and with that, Dimitri finally takes his leave. 

I only now feel like I can breathe again. 

"Sorry about that," Yuri starts, "he took me up on my offer. Seems he's ready and willing to do anything it takes to win you over again." 

"I don't really care. I just want him to stay away from me. You don't have to pretend to care either. I'll be fine without you." 

This isn't like me at all. It feels wrong, pushing someone away who's just trying to help, but this is what I need for myself. This is for the better. 

He blinks a few times, trying to process what I just said to him. "What do you mean, pretend to care? Do you really think that's what I'm doing?" 

"What else are you doing? You don't even know me." 

"Don't test my patience, Claude. If I didn't want to help you, trust me, I wouldn't. Don't go spouting bullshit just because you're angry at Dimitri. I get that I made a mistake by leaving you here, but there's absolutely no reason for you to act like a brat now." 

Acting like a brat? Excuse me? 

"You think I'm acting like a brat? Fine. I never asked you for your help, so don't act like you're doing me such a great favor. In fact, why don't you just get out of here? You have no business with us. Let's just say that you paid off the debt you owed me for letting you out by 'helping me' and now you can kindly fuck off." 

"Sure. I'll do that. If that's what you want." He doesn't even hesitate as he walks towards the door, opens it and slams it shut. 

There we go. I don't need him. I don't need Yuri, or Dimitri. I'll just recover from my injuries and then I'll go and look for Raphael. 

Love; what a joke. 

All I need is myself. I'll get this job done on my own. No more messing around with feelings and relationships. No more Dimitri or Yuri.

I get up from the bed and try walking around a bit, but my bones ache more than I'd like to admit. I'm completely covered in dark bruises as well. 

Whatever. If I go out now and ruin myself more than Dimitri did, I think I'm allowed to be pretty impressed with myself. I head over to the bathroom and grab a towel, which I wrap around my head.

That's as good a cover as any. 

I walk back to the door to exit. Should I leave the door open in case Linhardt comes to visit? At least he'll realize that neither Yuri or I'm around. 

He might actually get angry at us. Oh well. He has Lysithea, so he has no right to complain. I have to be on my way now. 

I exit the room without locking the door. I left the key inside, so if anyone needs it, they can grab it. 

This hallway is still dark, even during the day. I take a few seconds to look around so I know where to go. I'm planning on going to Dimitri's room to see if my stuff is still there. 

I could really use my dagger. 

No one's around yet, so I have the liberty of walking around without needing to cover my head for now. I walk through the hallway and head over to the stairs to climb them. 

What if Dimitri is in his room? I can't have him attack me again, even if he seemed to be okay now. Flayn seemed to be okay too and she still betrayed me. 

I'll just have to be careful. 

I hurry over to the room Dimitri and I shared once upon a time. The door is closed, and I hear voices on the other side. 

He's not alone in here… He's not alone in his room. He's with someone. 

Fuck, that stings. Either way, I can't let that deter me. I need my bag, so I'll get it. 

I knock on the door twice and enter without receiving permission to do so. 

"Sorry for intruding, I'll be out in a second," I say as I scan the room. 

It's cleaned up a little, but the furniture is still broken. Bad memories of last night resurface and my stomach feels ready to empty itself once more. 

Just breathe. Just breathe and do what you came here for. 

I refuse to look at or listen to the figures sitting on the bed, so I don't know who's actually in here. Maybe it's not even Dimitri. 

Regardless, I spot my bag amongst the rubbish of what used to be a nightstand and walk over to it to grab it. 

Without saying another word, I leave the room again. When I'm back out in the hallway, I take the dagger out of my bag and continue on in my search for Flayn. 

Could she be serving breakfast again? I'll just look there first. 

I hurry through the hallway and make my way to the staircase. 

"Claude? Wait, where are you going?" A voice, I think Dimitri's, calls after me.

Just ignore it. I can't let him stop me. 

"I told you, he's lost it." Another, lower voice says. 

What's Yuri doing in Dimitri's room? 

No, don't think about that. Focus on Flayn.

I grab the shoulder of one of the elders that was casually strolling through the building and I almost feel bad about scaring him if he didn't potentially have the information I need. 

"Sorry, but do you know where I can find Flayn?" 

The man looks a bit shaken and he takes too long with answering for my liking. 

Quickly paced footsteps have started chasing me since I left Dimitri's room and I'm not planning on letting them catch up to me to stop me. 

"Sir? I'm in a hurry," I press.

"Uhm, w-who might you be? You don't work here-" 

"Whatever. Thanks." I hurry along towards the dining hall. 

If that man can't help me, I'll find someone else who will. 

"Stop moving, right now!" Yuri shouts at me. 

Who is he kidding? I don't need to listen to him. If he wants a brat, a brat he can get. 

I sprint down the stairs to the ground floor and run towards the dining hall. Every elder I pass hurries to get out of my way, gasping and screaming for one of the caretakers to let them know a guy with a towel on the head and a dagger is running around in the building. 

I should probably have thought this one through a bit more. Well, nothing to change about that now. 

I enter the dining hall and quickly scan the space to see if I can find a small woman with bright green curly hair. I don't see her immediately, so I move on to check the kitchen. 

I remember from last time that Flayn might be in the small space in the back, so that's where I'm headed. 

"Whoa, dude. Put the weapon away, someone might get hurt," one of the cooks tells me. He has his hands raised and a scared look on his face.

"Thanks for the heads-up," I answer. 

I'm so close to my goal. I open the door and my target is standing right there, casually chatting with one of the other food servers. 

Perfect. 

I approach her as quietly as possible to make sure neither Flayn nor the server notices me. At least, not before I've done what I came here for. 

I take the dagger in my left hand, despite that that's the arm that got hurt. I just want to be able to aim and stab properly, even if it ruins my arm further.

"Oh my god, is he going to stab her?" Lysithea's voice reaches my ears and I hope for Lysithea that Flayn doesn't hear her. 

Looks like it's not just Dimitri and Yuri that are after me anymore now. I need to hurry up if I want to do this. Before anyone gets it in their heads to stop me.

I've never stabbed a living person before, never imagined doing it either, but Flayn deserves it. She needs to pay for everything she put me through. 

I lick my lips as I take the last step towards her. If I stretch my arm now, I'll stab her right between her shoulder blades. But that's not what I'm going for. 

I'm stabbing her in the back properly. Hopefully I'll hit a vital spot too so she won't even survive. I lower the knife so I'll be able to plunge it into her back, right around the area of her lungs. 

That oughta do it. 

I can hear several people yelling my name and telling me to stop. But that's all too late now. My dagger is pushed inside of Flayn's middle, through her back. 

"You'll find that I'm better at backstabbing than you," I tell her in a low voice. "Let's see you recovering from this though." 

I push the dagger even deeper into her body. Damn, this feels good. I never thought that I'd be able to take someone's life, but she really pushed me to my limits. 

This girl broke me. She's the cause of all my pain and suffering, and she deserves to pay for it. She took Dima from me. She ruined my trust in others. She caused me to fall apart.

And now I'll break her.

She lets out a pained groan and I can't even describe how good it sounds to me. There's screaming and chaos everywhere around me now, but all my ears are interested in are Flayn's grunts and harsh breathing. 

"How does that feel," I start, "to have a knife in your back? Righteous, isn't it?" 

"Urgh, Claude..!" She pants harshly. "H-how did you get out?" 

"You can thank Lysithea for that. You messed with the wrong people this time, Flayn." 

"You're… the loser here. Aren't you… looking for… nngh..! R-Raphael..?" 

"And were you actually going to tell me where he is? Don't be silly, Flayn. We both know that you're not interested in helping us. I actually think you've been helping with keeping this magic spell alive. Why do I think that? I'll explain. Inside the prison, I found Yuri."

She gasps at hearing his name. Did she forget about him? Or did she mean to starve him to death? 

Doesn't matter. I got her figured out and I'm going to make sure everyone around us hears it.

"He and I both tried to get rid of the magic spell, but we both got thrown into that prison of yours. You accused me of wanting to sacrifice my friends, but that's obviously what you were planning on doing. I heard from Yuri that his allies disappeared on him, did you do that? Did you get rid of them so that they couldn't destroy the magic? Or does it go deeper than that? Perhaps you're using them as undead soldiers? That's the reason why you targeted us too, isn't it? To prevent us from taking away the magic and instead, turn us into your puppets."

I pull her head backwards by her hair. She grunts in discomfort, but she still grins at me. "So what if I did? I did it for a good cause." 

"Is that so? I don't know exactly why you've decided that you don't want this spell to disappear, but I have a pretty good idea. Don't you think your precious teach would have been much more meaningful if he were alive? Or maybe you're actually glad about Byleth's current state, because he was so important to the archbishop. Were you supposed to receive his sword? Was it you who was going to help Rhea and Seteth with their jobs? How annoying for you that Byleth came along and that he was simply better than you." 

I've been thinking about this all for a long time. Why could no one have succeeded in destroying the spell? Why wouldn't Flayn want help in recovering her dear teacher? Simply because he wasn't so dear to her at all. Byleth needed to stay in this state to make sure he could never turn on Flayn.

But Flayn couldn't have pulled this off by herself. She must have worked with someone in order to keep this all upright.

"Did the mage help you? Or rather, did you help the mage? You dirty little shit. Does it feel good to have this village? I'm sure you're worried about what's going to happen to you when the spell gets removed. People are going to leave this place, start their lives somewhere else. You couldn't handle that, isn't that right? The idea of you becoming useless; it terrifies you, doesn't it? Sweet little Flayn, always busy, always trying to help others. How awful would it be if that all got taken from you." 

"You're… not… much better than me." She coughs and a few droplets of blood come out of her mouth. She still insists on getting out her bullshit though. "Because… you're just… using your friends. For your own… benefits…" 

"Is that what you've been telling them? I hate that they believed you, but that's not at all what I'm doing. I'll be the one to ruin you. I'll ruin you and this whole fucked up society you've created. Watch me." I release my hold on her hair and I pull out my dagger from her back. 

It comes out wet with fresh red blood, leaving a satisfying red growing stain in her dress. 

She screams out in pain and I can't help but find delight in the noise. Someone like Flayn doesn't deserve better than this. She grabs onto the shelf she'd been standing at for support.

I have a feeling that she's already busy with sacrificing Raphael. I don't think that she's just 'feeding' her victims to Byleth, since Byleth only kills them. A truly strong and effective infected is still alive. That means that the mage has to be around here right now to cast the spell on Raphael. 

This might be my only chance at defeating that mage. I already took out Flayn, who's probably the only one who can summon that mage to create more soldiers for their infected army. If I don't take this chance, it might not even appear before me again. 

And I need to act fast. If anyone else here has worked with Flayn and is capable of contacting that mage and tell him that Flayn's gone, he might flee.

Alright, I'm heading out. I'll take my bow and arrows and find that mage and kill it. 

There, that's the plan. Nothing complicated. I'll stay out of reach from Byleth and perform a long ranged attack on the mage. Easy peasy. 

I wipe my dagger clean and I plan to head outside without spending another second here in the chaos I created, but I'm getting pulled to the side by Yuri.

"Have a talk with us," he says as he pulls me away and into a smaller storage room. 

I make eye contact with Dimitri, who's also in here and I look away again immediately. I don't want to submit to him, but I really don't want to challenge him either. I'll play it safe and make sure he won't find any reason to attack me again. 

"Uhm, I'll just stay outside and make sure no one comes in here," Dimitri informs before he exits. 

Seems he's either not comfortable with being around me or he wants to make sure I won't feel uncomfortable with him around. Whatever it is, I won't care about it. 

Nor do I want to remember the fact that he and Yuri had been inside his bedroom together. 

"What do you want, Yuri? I'm kind of in a hurry right now." 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, taking care of this all by yourself? What are you thinking?" 

I shrug. "Why is that a bad thing? If I don't work with anyone, no one will be able to turn their backs on me. And if I fail, you can all avenge me and still succeed. It's a win-win situation." 

"A win-win situation? Where's the win if you fail? And what in the world is that on your head?" 

I reach up and pull the towel off my head. That's kinda embarrassing. "It was a disguise. Despite that I was looking for Flayn instead of hiding from her, but that's just a detail. And it's still a win, because if I fail, I'll at least be dead. And if I'm dead, I won't have to deal with any of these disgusting feelings anymore. It's fine, so don't stop me. I'm in a hurry." 

I try to brush past him to get outside, but he blocks the entrance with his body. 

"Is that really how you feel? Do you really think that it's okay to die here, when you're so close to ending this nightmare? Just take a breath and think for a second." 

I take a deep breath like he told me to do. It helps a little with getting my thoughts straight, but I can't say that I've changed my mind regarding the dying part. I know I'm on a suicide mission, that fact won't change. 

I want to open my mouth to tell him he's in the way, but he shushes me.

"Claude, golden boy, beautiful, listen to me. I'm sorry about what happened in our bedroom. I left you alone when your head was in a bad place and I hate that I didn't realize how much you needed me. Or anyone, really." 

I don't care how much he's going to apologize, I'm done. I don't want to have my heart break into pieces everytime I take a liking to someone. Whether that's friends, allies or lovers. I'm done. 

"That's not going to change my plan. I told you, your debt has been paid off. You're free to do whatever you like. Go, shoo, I'm busy." 

He frowns at me and still doesn't allow me to pass. "If I'm free to do whatever I like, then I'm coming with you, like I said I would. And I'm absolutely certain that there are more people out here that want to help you. Your friends, in case you're wondering who I'm talking about." 

"Psh. I don't have friends. Friendship is a lie. All 'friends' do, is take advantage of each other until the point where one person is sick of it and then he throws away his 'friend'. Now get out of the way. You're getting annoying." 

I start pushing and pulling on his arms to get him to step out of the doorway, but he doesn't budge in the slightest. How is that even possible when he's so skinny? 

"Claude. Stop being stubborn for once. I know you've been hurt. And even I played a part in it and I'm so sorry about that. Dimitri, even, is sorry about what he did, and I know that an apology could never fix your feelings. Not from me, not from Dimitri, not from anyone who betrayed you. So please, let us help you with this. Please, allow us to show you how sorry we are and how much we care about you. We want to help you, protect you, fight for you. Or at least I do. And I know Dimitri wants to as well. And it's obvious that Linhardt, Lysithea, Annette and Dedue are on your side as well. They never did anything wrong, so why do you shut them out too?" 

Fuck me, here come the waterworks again. As if I haven't cried enough yet. 

"This doesn't have anything to do with you or Dimitri or the others. This is about me, okay? Is that a good answer? I want to do this by myself. I'm done with having the responsibility over other people and I'm tired of getting hurt. I'm only human too, there's only so much I can handle. I'm way past my breaking point, so stop pestering me already. I just want to get this over with. If I die, too bad for me. I tried and I failed. And if I somehow make it, I promise none of you will ever have to see me again. Does that work for you? No complaints?" 

My voice sounds rough from the giant lump in my throat and there's tears rolling over my cheeks again. If he still decides to stop me now, I might punch him in the throat. 

I look at everything in this storage room except Yuri. Those fruits look pretty funny. I don't think I've ever seen those before. Oh, and that's a nice shelf. It could work for clothes too. 

A warm hand takes a gentle hold of my own in blood covered one. "I'm sorry, Claude. I know that we haven't known each other for that long, and that you probably feel annoyed with me most of the time, but I'm falling for you too. Even if you decided that you want to tune out all of your feelings and emotions, you aren't capable of actually doing that. You're too kind, too sensitive, too precious. I don't need to know you for months before I can see how amazing you are. It's obvious. Look at you, you're so strong. You're way past your breaking point, yet you're still fighting. I never thought a person like you existed. Don't die or disappear on me, Claude. Not now that you found me." 

Why is he doing this now? I don't want this anymore. I already made up my mind, he can't change that with a few words that will lose their meaning as soon as something comes up. 

"Just… just stop. I'm not interested in old fucks." 

He smiles. He smiles and it's so pretty. I want to keep looking at it until I memorize every single detail about his face when he does that. 

"Let me come with you, Claude. Let me prove to you that I'm here to stay." 

"I'm not going to feel responsible if you die. And if you want to bring anyone else, you're in charge over them. You can have all the shit that comes with being a leader." 

"Okay. I'll gladly take over for you. You got nothing to worry about." 

Great. I let him inside my no-other-people-are-allowed-fortress. Just great. 

"You're a real douchebag, you know that." I wipe away my tears and take another deep breath before I try to get past him once more.

"I refuse to apologize for this. There's one more thing though." 

I sigh. "What is it? Did you miss the part where I said I'm in a hurr-"

With literally no warning whatsoever, I'm finding myself with my back against the door, one of Yuri's hands still in mine and the other one on the back of my head to protect it from colliding with the door. 

And I find my lips covered with his. 

It takes me a full second to register what the fuck is happening. Yuri is kissing me. Yuri, the most perfect person in the world is kissing me. In a storage room, while my face is covered in tears and snot, and my hand and shirt are covered with Flayn's blood and I just can't believe this is happening. 

I decide to close my eyes and enjoy this for now. I'll allow his lips to massage mine. 

He's intense, much more intense than Dimitri. It's like he's… hungrier. As if he's been starving and I'm his favorite food. 

I'll be his favorite food. 

He pulls back for a second to crook his head a little before he dives back in. I try to keep up with him, but my negligible experience can't compare to his. 

I wrap my free arm around his neck to try and keep myself grounded. I'm feeling dizzy from this mixture of different kinds of feelings he's igniting within me. 

Comfort, delight, warmth, appreciation, admiration, lust… I can't even put a name on most things. It's hard to think with Yuri's lips pressing against mine insistently. 

I never want this moment to end. 

His warm body has started to press against me closer and I love the pressure against my own. 

His lips part and the tip of his tongue runs over my lower lip. It tickles a little, but it makes me feel incredibly hot at the same time. 

Is this the moment where I part my lips for him? I can just try it. I'm sure he noticed by now that I'm not really experienced anyway. 

As soon as I part my lips though, his tongue delves into my mouth and starts licking just about everywhere. 

It's a really weird sensation, but I don't hate it. I can't say it's unpleasant either. Just… weird. And hot. Mostly hot.

His warm, wet, intrusive appendage runs over the back of my teeth, then pokes against my own tongue and gently licks it, as if to invite me to play with him. 

Is that what he wants me to do? Why don't I know how this works? I should have asked Dimitri. 

The thought of Dimitri makes me pull back from Yuri's invading mouth immediately. 

We're both panting to catch our breaths and fuck me if Yuri doesn't look absolutely delicious right now. 

His lips are red, there's a faint pink blush on his cheeks and his eyes are half lidded. 

Judging from the smirk he's giving me, I probably don't look much different myself. 

"That… was perfect." His smirk grows into a grin and I just smile back at him like the idiot I am. 

"I don't even know how to kiss, how can that be perfect?" I grumble. 

"That's one of the reasons why it was, pumpkin." He kisses my lips once more. 

His lips really are a lot different from Dimitri's. How strange. I always figured lips are just lips, but it's like Dimitri's are much softer while Yuri's are much more persistent.

"...Pumpkin? Seriously?" 

He laughs. "Yeah, pumpkin. You don't like it?" 

"Oh, no I love it. Huggy bear." 

"Perfect. Cupcake." 

"Honey." 

"Darling." 

"Douchebag." 

"That's not very nice." 

"You're not very nice. Keeping me here while I'm actually in a hurry." Stupid Yuri, making me forget all about what I was doing. 

"Don't complain when you obviously liked it." 

I give him a glare before I open the door to head out. I have business to take care of and I'm hoping for Yuri that the mage is still around. 

It's time to finally put an end to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you btw all for the lovely comments and I love you all who has come this far with me
> 
> I'm getting all emotional about the idea that we're nearing the end, but I'll try not to stall too much. It was bound to happen eventually 
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


	37. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooooo all you lovely readers who have made it this far!! 
> 
> I'm happy you did, I love you all 
> 
> I'M SO HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE 100+ KUDOS CONGRATS TO ME 
> 
> Also, small warning for intimacy, again NOT explicit bc idek how to write explicit without feeling incredibly uncomfortable and I'm probably also not very good at it heheheh
> 
> Either way, maybe I'll learn how to one day 
> 
> I'll mark the intimate scene with *** at the beginning and end, so if you'd rather skip, you can :) 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!!

"Claude, hold up. Tell me the plan you had prepared first." Yuri grabs my hand and closes the door again to prevent me once more from leaving this storage room.

For fuck's sake. 

"The plan is cancelled. Just do whatever you like, as long as you don't get in my way." 

He sighs and it's definitely annoyed this time. "Can you think rationally for three seconds? You can't avoid confrontation with Byleth and fight the mage at the same time. That guy is ridiculously strong, you won't even stand a chance." 

I shrug. "I'm aware that Byleth is strong, but there's a limit to how far he can move. I'll use that to my advantage." 

"I'm not talking about Byleth, I meant the mage. And you won't even reach the mage if you stay out of Byleth's range, so you can kiss that idea goodbye."

Ah. Well, that's tricky. I refuse to be glad about Yuri telling me this though. I would have found another way. 

"I use long range attacks. I'll manage." I try to pull my hand loose from his grip, but this guy's hella persistent. 

"Claude, I'm really starting to lose my patience right now. Stop being so goddamn stubborn and let me fucking help you. Tell me the plan." 

I glare at him for a few seconds before I relent. "Fine. I was going to have Linhardt and Lysithea take care of Byleth while the rest of us were going to find the magic source and destroy it. Annette and Dedue are not included." 

He ponders it over. "Okay, that might not be so bad. Lysithea is a magic user, right?" 

I nod. 

"That might work, as long as Linhardt sticks around to patch her up in case she gets hit by the sword. Who is 'the rest of us'?" 

The traitors. Well, except Raph but I still don't know what he was up to during that scene. "Dimitri, Felix, Sylvain, Raphael and me. But I'm the only one left from that group so don't count on them." 

"I thought only Raphael was gone. What happened to the others?" 

Seriously? "Uh, they all turned their backs on me? Have you been paying attention at all?" 

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, brat. I'm sure I can work with that. What can we do for Raphael?" 

"What happened to pumpkin? And I'm pretty sure that Raphael might have been delivered to the mage, so hopefully he's still there." 

"You're not really acting like a pumpkin right now. But that's convenient. We'll rescue him in one go. And can you even fire arrows with that crippled arm of yours?" He smirks at me. 

Damn, he got me there.

I fiddle with the bandage I put around my arm. It doesn't really hurt much, but I know that pulling an arrow with this arm is definitely going to change that. 

"Alright, I think I got a plan," Yuri says eventually. "I'll stick with you for now though, so you can't do anything stupid. And let us help, okay? You're not doing this alone, so change that mindset of yours. Let's go." 

He opens the door again, but keeps his hold on my arm. Is he seriously worried that I'll run off again? 

Would I run off again? I actually don't think I would. If Yuri's here to help me, it's okay for me to rely on him a bit, isn't it? He told me before that he's on my side, so even if the others have turned their backs on me, that doesn't mean he will too, right?

Maybe I should give him a chance. One chance is all he gets though. 

I wonder what he's planning. Maybe we actually have a better chance at succeeding now, since he'll be leading us. 

But now I'm actually not so certain about this anymore. I thought it would be relieving to have someone take over my responsibilities, but it worries me that I don't have a say in what's going to happen now. 

Why am I like this? I agreed with myself that I wouldn't rely on others anymore, yet I'm leaving this whole plan in Yuri's hands. 

I'm such an idiot.

We step out of the room and chaos is still everywhere. Yuri makes sure that I stay behind him, which covers my appearance a little. 

I really should have thought this one through more. 

Dimitri is busy pushing away numerous people that are trying to get inside the storage room to get to me. He actually seems to be struggling.

Is he doing that for me, to protect me? Is he really serious about winning me over again? 

But I just kissed with Yuri… Would Dimitri be disgusted by me if he finds out? I don't want him to be. 

No, stop. He hurt me first. He has no right to judge me now. I can kiss whoever I want and I should not have to feel guilty about it.

"Is that Claude right there?" Linhardt's usually soft voice booms over the sound of the other voices. 

"Yeah, but listen first," Yuri answers. "I need you to grab Lysithea, Annette and Dedue and start preparing for the battle with Byleth and the mage. Make sure to bring any and every kind of medicine and weapon you can find, it's gonna be tough. Head over to the town's entrance when you're done and wait for us there if we haven't arrived yet." 

"You may have misunderstood my intentions. I need to talk to Claude, so please-" 

"You might be misunderstanding my intentions too. I'm taking over for Claude, so you're listening to me now. Do as I just said, we'll meet you there as soon as we're ready." 

And Linhardt's dismissed, just like that. I feel a little bad for leaving him in the dark about everything that's been going on, but judging from the way Linhardt is eyeing my neck and other bruises with a frown, he might be able to connect the dots on his own.

"Alright, we'll meet you there." Linhardt doesn't say any more than that before he turns and starts gathering Lysithea, Annette and Dedue.

Wow, he's not even being difficult. The difference in experience in leadership between Yuri and me just became very apparent. 

"Dimitri," Yuri calls. "I want you to gather your buddies and come to the town's entrance too. Just like Linhardt, I want you to bring weapons. And make sure that your buddies know that they don't have a choice in the matter. They will be there, whether they want to or not." 

Dimitri just blinks at Yuri at first. I guess he's not used to being ordered around like that, especially since he was the leader of the Blue Lions. 

"Can you do it?" Yuri presses. "Or do I have to go over and get them myself?" 

"No, I can do it. Sorry." Dimitri doesn't even look in Yuri's eyes before he creates and crosses a path through the many people that are standing around us. 

The difference in self-confidence between those two is incredibly obvious. Have I been too harsh on Dimitri? Could he really not help being deceived by Flayn, simply because he wasn't confident enough to stand up for me? 

It would explain why he let his emotions take over for him like that. If his head fails him, at least his emotions have his back. That doesn't work though, obviously. 

He probably just needed help from someone before and I was the worst possible choice of person to go see him. That was definitely a mistake on my part. Knowing that even Yuri, who'd never even met Dimitri before, could calm him down is just proof of that. 

But he still blames me for his friends' deaths. No amount of understanding or apologies from my side can fix that. It'll be up to him whether he forgives me and moves on or doesn't do either of those.

And even if he said that he doesn't really blame me, he still wouldn't say something like that because of anger. There was definitely some sort of truth in that. 

Time heals all wounds, they say. Maybe even mine. 

I pull on Yuri's arm to get his attention. "Do you realize you just sent Linhardt away? He has to heal my arm still." 

He smiles at me sweetly. "I know, pumpkin. I meant to send him away before he could do that. You can't attack with your arm in that state, so I'm leaving it like that until it's time for you to use it."

"Wow, thanks for the trust, darling," I say sarcastically. 

"You're very welcome. Now let's get out of here before they realize you're the one who stabbed Flayn," he whispers. 

Right, I guess the towel did help me with hiding my identity. 

He drags me through the crowd of caretakers and elders to the hallway past the dining hall. Breathing just became a lot easier. 

"So, what are we going to do now?" I ask. 

"I need my sword and then we're heading to Byleth to see what the situation is. If the mage is there, at least we won't be doing all this for nothing." 

Ah, I'm not even surprised that Yuri favors the sword. Seems that stoic and snarky people have that tendency. Cough, Felix, cough. 

"Where did you want to find a sword? I doubt there's a blacksmith or weapon shop around here." Not that I'd gotten a good look around the town, but it just doesn't seem like Flayn would set up a weapon shop when she wants to keep her villagers trapped in here.

"Not a sword, my sword. I have a pretty good idea of where they put the stuff they took from us before we got locked up. We'll head there." 

Ah. There is a chance that there might be more weapons and useful items in there. 

"Okay. Lead the way." I guess I won't be difficult now. Even if I still want to be a pain in the ass for the leader, Yuri kinda doesn't deserve that. 

And there's also the chance that he might actually leave me behind if I become too troublesome. Not that he's said anything like that, but I really wouldn't put it past him. He just seems like that kind of person.

He leads me outside, still while holding my arm, and heads past a few buildings I haven't seen before. 

No, wait… Is he going back to the prison? I hope we won't be recognized by the food guy. 

"Can you like, let go of my arm? I won't run off." 

He looks back at me. "What, can't I hold your hand, pumpkin?" 

I sigh. "You're holding my arm, not my hand." Holding hands with Yuri sounds a bit… weird. 

I used to hold hands with Dimitri quite often, but the idea of doing that with Yuri just doesn't sit right with me. It'd be like I'm replacing Dimitri with Yuri and that's not what I want at all. 

Ah, fuck. Do I really still hold feelings for Dimitri? Even after him nearly killing me? 

"Alright, want me to hold your hand, then?" He's stopped looking at me and instead, is just rushing through different streets and past buildings. 

How does he even remember the way so easily? Did he have a chance to explore the town a little before he got locked up? 

"No. I just mean that I can walk on my own. You don't need to hold my arm or hand or anything." 

He hums. "So I can kiss you, but I can't hold your hand? Or is the problem that other people can see us now?" 

Should I tell him I don't want anything serious to grow between us? But is that really what I want? 

Argh! This is so annoying! Make up your damn mind, Claude. Yuri or Dimitri? You can't have both. 

If I had to pick, it would be-

"So I'm right, huh? You don't want to be seen with me," Yuri concludes. "Too bad, I'm sure we could have some real nice things grow between us." 

"I never even said that! Don't go putting words in my mouth like that." 

He looks back at me and has the audacity to give me a smirk.

Ah. I fell right into his trap, didn't I? Well, not like he knows what the problem is. I don't even know what the problem is. The choice should be logical; Yuri. But I just can't get rid of these thoughts and feelings for Dimitri. 

I hate doubting myself like this.

"Then I know what the problem is," he says. "Dimitri, isn't it?" 

I don't want to answer that, but it's obvious that that's what I'm struggling with. 

We stop rushing as we finally make it around the area where the prison should be. 

"Is this the place?" I ask when we stop in front of a building. 

"Yup, this is it. You ever broke into a building?" 

I look at him incredulously. Did he really just ask me that? "No, I haven't. I'm not a thug like you." 

"Ah, sweet innocence. Guess I'll teach you, pumpkin." 

I hate how I'm actually starting to like that nickname. I'm a bit surprised he stopped talking about Dimitri so suddenly though. Surprised, but thankful.

Although I'm sure it'll come up again soon. If Yuri's serious about me, that is.

He finally lets go of my arm and steps forwards to one of the windows to take a peek through it. 

I'll just let him do what he's good at. If he needs my help, I'm sure he'll tell me. 

I look around the place. Most of the people that live here are probably inside their homes. Occasionally a random person walks by, but doesn't pay us any attention. 

"Claude, I need your dagger for a second." He sticks out his hand towards me so I can lay it in his palm. 

"What will you give me in return?" Annoying Yuri is one of my new hobbies. Aside from playing matchmaker for Linhardt and Lysithea and teasing anyone who asks for it.

"I'll give you a blowjob after we kill that mage." His hand casually gestures that he'd really like my dagger by now.

His words have an embarrassing effect on me. What the hell? My cheeks start burning up and I swallow audibly. God damn it. I'm sure he heard that, but I'll just have to play it cool. 

I don't say anything as I hand him my dagger. 

"Ah, that actually did it for you. Good to know." I can hear the amusement in his voice. 

I need to pick my battles more strategically. I keep embarrassing myself almost every time I think I can be a smartass with him. But when I do succeed, he actually loses his cool and gets mad at me. 

Nevertheless, annoying Yuri is still something I want to become good at, so I'll keep trying. He'll just have to put up with me if he wants to stay with me.

He sticks the dagger inbetween the door and the wall, trying to unlock the door like that. I'm starting to get a little nervous now. It's obvious we're trying to break into this building, so if anyone decides to check on us, we're screwed. 

"Can you hurry up?" I keep looking around to see if anyone might be watching us. 

"I'm trying. Stop acting so nervous, you're the one drawing attention here." He just continues his fiddling with the dagger. 

Okay, fine. I'll just stop being wary and stare at Yuri then. He actually looks pretty hot like that; doing something illegal as if he's done it a million times.

Maybe not a million times, but I'm sure he's done it quite a few times before. 

Finally, a clicking sound lets me know that Yuri's administrations were successful. 

"Let's go," he tells me before he hands me back my dagger and enters the building. 

I follow after him. The air in here is incredibly dry and dusty. I already know that I don't like being in here. 

"So we just need your sword, right? I hope we can find it soon." I wanna get out already.

"Yeah, but be quiet. There might be someone protecting this place." He grabs my arm again and starts dragging me after him again. 

"Ugh, I didn't miss this, just so you know." 

He huffs a laugh. "It's your fault for not wanting to hold my hand." 

Psh. I'll hold his hand if he wants it so bad. 

I pull my arm loose from his hold and grab his hand before he can say anything, which he was absolutely going to if his face is anything to go by. 

"There. Happy now?" 

He smiles at me, genuinely, and he laces our fingers together. "Yes, quite so." 

I wish I could just stop my blushes. The betrayal is unbearable and it comes from my own body. I just hope he can't see it. 

"You're cute when you blush," he whispers. His smile slightly shifts into his signature smirk, but it still does things to me. 

God damn it. 

"I'm not blushing. You're blushing," I accuse, but he's obviously not. 

He looks around to see if anyone's in here. I already checked though. 

"There's no one around. We can just keep moving ahead." 

"Good," he answers before he pushes me against the nearest wall. 

He wastes no time before his lips are pressed against my own again, his tongue asking me for permission to enter inside my mouth. 

What the hell just happened? 

His hand rests against the side of my face as he manually eases my jaw open to let him in. Resisting is probably futile, so I give in almost immediately. 

Also because this is really incredibly hot and I don't even want to resist him. 

With my free hand, I grab his collar to pull him closer to me. He happily complies and presses his whole body against mine as his tongue explores my mouth. 

Again, he seems to be inviting my tongue to join in the fun. I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do though, so I settle for poking his tongue with my own to test the waters.

It's kind of a funny feeling to touch his tongue with mine, but it soon turns into a full making out session with our tongues twirling around each other. 

I can't help but moan at the feeling, which seems to only spur Yuri further on. His leg maneuvers itself between mine, rubbing against me. 

I manage to break our kiss so I can say something. "A-ah, Yuri… Stop, we shouldn't-" 

But he doesn't seem interested at all in listening to my protests. He shuts me up again with his hot and wet mouth and I honestly don't even mind. 

How was I ever able to decide that I didn't want this anymore? I love this kind of attention, this affection. It's intoxicating. The more I get, the more I end up wanting. Yuri acts way different from the way Dimitri handled me, but I love it either way. 

He's not gentle, or loving, or careful. He's rough, hot and intense. 

How am I ever supposed to choose between the two? I want all of that. How greedy and selfish. 

But I just can't help myself. 

Even still, we're wasting time. I need him off of me so that we can find his sword and get out of here. My hand moves from his collar to his soft, silky hair to pull on it and get his face off mine. 

Instead of doing what I wanted him to do, he moans. He actually moans and it's the sexiest thing I've ever heard in my life. I'd be damned if that sound didn't just do weird things to my private parts.

"Fuck, pull harder," he pants before he puts more pressure on the leg inbetween my own. 

I gasp from the unexpected feeling, which allows Yuri to utilize this opportunity to dominate my mouth once more.

"Mmh!" Damn it, I meant to hold that back, since I knew it would sound so incredibly desperate and needy. 

Oh my fucking god. This really needs to stop before my body decides to embarrass me completely by staining my pants. 

Yuri's leg is still stimulating me and it takes all of my effort to push him away from me. Without pulling his hair this time, might I add. 

He finally gets the hint and moves away from me, but still doesn't let go of my hand. We're both panting harshly. 

My heart feels like it's going to burst out of my ribcage. My lips, and well, practically my whole body is tingling and hot. My head feels light and I'm secretly a little mad at myself for pushing him away before I got my relief. 

There's a time and place for everything. And that's definitely not here or now. 

I rest my head against the wall to get a change of vision. Seeing Yuri with his swollen wet lips and lustful look in his eyes isn't doing much to calm my own body down, so I'll stare at the ceiling until I feel better. 

"Is now a good time to repay you for lending me your dagger?" He asks. 

***

His voice sounds from below me and before I can give my opinion, he's already busy with unzipping my pants. 

Is this guy for real? There's no way he's going to do that here, right? What if we get caught? 

"Uhm, no. Not now, now is terrible. A very, very terrible time to- oh my god." 

A smooth, wet warmth engulfs me and holy crap, does that feel good. I look down at him and of course, he's staring at my face. 

Seeing him on his knees before me does some weird things to me. He looks great down there. Absolutely perfect. 

As Yuri is working his hot magic on me, I just feel the need to constantly check our surroundings to see if anyone's around.

Maybe this setting makes for more excitement, because I'm closer than ever to my climax. 

I don't want this to end yet, so I'm trying my hardest to hold back. But boy, does Yuri make that difficult for me. I'm just moaning loudly and obscenely and I hope dearly that no one's around to hear me like this.

He grabbed my hand sometime when he was busy and guided it to his hair. Does he want me pull on it again? I guess I could try, since he seemed to like it before.

I grip his hair a little tighter, but not too tight because I don't want to hurt him, which causes him to moan again. I can actually feel the vibrations his throat makes and I need more of that. 

Should I pull harder? I just don't want to hurt him. I grip his hair a bit tighter than before, which earns me an even louder moan from him. That seriously feels amazing.

One of his hands is now pressing against my hip to keep me from moving, while his other one has disappeared into his own pants. 

That's really unbelievably hot. I don't even think I can last for another minute like this. 

"Yuri! Fuck, I'm close. I'm so close..!" I slam my head back against the wall. It kinda hurts, but it's good distraction from what Yuri's doing to me. 

Instead of relenting or actually stopping, he just keeps his mouth going, even faster than before. The sounds he's making, soft moans of delight and wet sucking sounds are driving me crazy. 

I need release. Now. 

I try to push his head away, but he insists on keeping his lips around me. Did he misunderstand? 

"Yuri..!" I really can't hold it in anymore. I'm sure the desperation is obvious in my voice.

He hums in understanding before he takes me in completely. Does he want me to..? In his mouth? 

I really can't hold back anymore, so even if he didn't mean to, he's still getting it anyway. White covers my vision and I moan loudly as I finish.

I can faintly hear Yuri moan too, so I guess he finished with me. Wow. Just wow. 

My knees are feeling weak, so I bend through them to sit on the floor with Yuri, who's casually wiping his mouth with his hands. 

***

We're both panting and huffing, but I really feel like I should say something right now. 

"Uhm, that was… Thanks for the-" Yuri presses a finger against my lips to stop me from talking. 

"Don't do that. You'll ruin it. If it didn't mean anything to you, just see it as my way of thanking you for the dagger." 

If it didn't mean anything to me..? What is that supposed to mean? How could that not mean anything to me? Does he think I'm just using him for this stuff? 

"And how am I supposed to see it if it did mean something?" 

Please don't say it really was just a way of paying me back. I know I said mean things, but I don't want him to see me as some kind of plaything. I do have growing feelings for him. 

He looks at me surprised. "Why do you even ask? It's obvious you still want Dimitri." 

That's just unfair. Why would he bring up Dimitri now of all times? He's not wrong, but I despise the idea of just fucking around with Yuri until Dimitri can find it in him to forgive me. I'm sure Yuri would hurt from that too, despite that he seems to be okay with that idea.

"So what? Can't I want you both?" Wow. It felt terrible when I thought it before, but saying it out loud sounds even more disgusting. 

How dare I say that? I don't have the right to want both Dimitri and Yuri. 

"Both? You want me and Dimitri? Wow, how greedy you are. I did not expect that from you, pumpkin." There's a dangerous glint in his eyes that tells me I walked right into his trap. 

So what do I say now? I could deny it, but that's an obvious lie. But what would happen if I confirm it? I do want them both, but that's just wrong. 

So instead of answering, I shrug. I don't want to give him more access to my thoughts and feelings. 

"You can't go back anymore now. You've already said it, so don't act like it has nothing to do with you. But luckily for you, I already saw this coming. Don't you worry, pumpkin. I meant it when I told you to focus on healing while I take care of the rest. I have no intention of letting you down or letting you go now. You're absolutely delicious." He licks his lips.

What is he talking about? Did he already expect me to want him? And how did he figure out that I would go back to Dimitri if I got a chance? This disturbs me greatly. 

"I hope you won't regret this," he tells me as he stands up. "Because I already made necessary preparations. In fact, I already got Dimitri in on this. He told me wasn't much of a fan of the idea, but convincing him wasn't all too difficult." 

What? Dimitri's in on this crazy idea? He's okay with me being with Yuri and him at the same time? I mean, Yuri I could understand, he's just insane. But Dimitri as well? 

He offers me a hand to help me up. "You see, I just have to mention your name to him and he's convinced. 'If you don't want to compromise,' I told him, 'how do you ever expect to make someone like Claude happy?'. He didn't want to understand at first, but when I pressed the matter just a little, he could see how having two lovers could only benefit you. Not Dimitri, nor I, would be enough to keep you satisfied with just ourselves. Not in the long run anyway. So if he and I work together, I'm sure you'll be the happiest little pumpkin." 

That's what he'd been discussing with Dimitri? Is he actually serious?! 

"You're kidding, right?" I put my pants back on and I can feel my cheeks burning from embarrassment because I just know Yuri is watching me do it. 

"Not in the slightest. I'm very pleased to see that your mindset has changed already, so perhaps it'll be easier for Dimitri to get closer to you now too. It was actually me who told him to leave any enclosed space you and he are both in together. It helps, doesn't it? He kept insisting that he wanted to talk with you, but I figured your mood wouldn't allow you to think rationally. That's why I told him you needed some space from him and a bit of me to change your mind." I hate how pleased he looks. 

Have I really been acting just the way he expected me to? This guy's on a whole other level with his manipulations and mindreading. 

"Let's just go. We're wasting time," I grumble. 

"Fine with me. Make sure to consider the idea though, this is probably a once in a lifetime chance for you." He takes hold of my hand again as we walk through the hallway of the small building. 

He told me to consider the idea, but it's hard for me to do. Having two lovers at the same time, who are actually okay with that concept? I can't believe it. Am I really that special?

I know Dimitri thinks I am, I mean, he's developed a thing for me since we were just kids. But to think he'd be okay with sharing me is just weird. Does he really feel that guilty for what he did? Or did Yuri manipulate him so that he'll just do whatever Yuri tells him? 

And Yuri… What does he gain from this? It's only been a few days since we met, yet he's this persistent in having me. Does he have some kind of ulterior motive? It's hard to imagine him doing this because he really thinks I'm all that great. But then again, would he really have given me a blowjob if he just wants to benefit from this relationship? 

Maybe I should just go with it. If one of the two ends up hurting me again, at least I'll have the other still. But wait a second… Isn't this what I want? To have both of them of my own? 

This is actually perfect. Yuri's making a way for Dimitri to reach my heart again, so I'll have both of them soon. I'll have to find a way to make them both happy, so they'll stay with me and do whatever I want. If I can do that, neither of them will have a reason to hurt or leave me. 

Easy peasy. I can already imagine the warmth from lying in a bed with both of them, their bodies pressed against me to make sure I won't be cold. Having them both protect me and keep me safe from any harm. And in turn, I'll give them anything they want from me. I'll give Dimitri the support and confidence he needs and I'll play mind games with Yuri all the while. 

I'm stuck in a fantasy that involves all three of us as Yuri drags me through the hallway and into different rooms to check them out. 

So far, we haven't found any weapons yet, but Yuri isn't slowing down in the slightest. He's really very confident that his sword is around here. 

I'm just surprised there isn't anyone around here. Did anyone even notice Yuri and I got out of the prison? Maybe not, since it wouldn't be time to feed us yet. 

"Ah, there it is. Grab as many weapons and items as you can," he instructs me. "We're going to need them." 

"Okay." I walk over to a table covered in different kinds of slashing weapons. 

There are a few daggers, short swords and longswords and I can see one serrated knife. Should I really take all of these with me? I have no idea how I'm supposed to carry this much and it's just the first table. 

I look at Yuri, who seems to have found his sword, as he's binding two axes to his back with a rope. He then takes four bows, which he hangs over both his shoulders. 

Those bows look really neat, I gotta say. Much sturdier than my training bow at least. 

"Are there arrows around there too?" I ask. 

He turns around and he's really not amused by what he sees. "I told you to grab those. What are you doing?" 

I frown at him before I turn back to the table. How am I supposed to take these with me? For one, they look incredibly heavy and literally none of them is sheathed. 

I take one of the daggers and put it in my waistband, next to where I put my mother's one. Well, okay, I still have room for the other daggers as well. I place them all in the waistband of my pants, which becomes incredibly uncomfortable because of them. 

The serrated knife I put in my boot. I remember Yuri saying he hid weapons all over his body, which makes me wonder if any of these were on his body as well. 

Okay, now for the short swords… Where can I put these? Isn't there any more rope around? 

That's very inconvenient. 

"Aren't the others going to bring weapons too? Why do we need to take all these?" 

Yuri sighs as he joins me at the table I'm standing at. "Do you want anyone to come after us with these weapons? Because if those villagers find out that you stabbed their lovely savior, they're probably coming for you." 

Ah, right. "That makes sense. I can't put these anywhere though." 

"What did you actually take then?" 

"Daggers and a knife. Stop judging me, you jerk. I'm so sorry for not knowing how to hide and carry weapons all over my body." His attitude just irritates me to no end. 

He rolls his eyes with a smile. "You're too easy to get to, you know that? But don't worry, I'm here to help you. Again." 

I give him a glare, simply because he deserves it. He just chuckles though and actually pinches my ass when he walks behind me. 

"Cute butt," he comments with a smirk. 

I try to maintain my glare, but I can feel my cheeks burn up once more. I guess this is how Dimitri felt when I kept teasing him before. 

Teasing is much better than being teased. And now I remember something Yuri didn't appreciate. 

"Hey, old fart. Can't you hurry up?" 

His head turns towards me with an unimpressed look. "Is that really the best you have?" 

I shrug. "It's the only thing I have, actually. But it's still effective, so I'll keep making use of it." 

"I'm not even that old, so get off your high horse." 

I still don't know how old he is exactly. He's probably younger than twenty-five, but it's hard to estimate his age. 

"Are you twenty-eight?" 

He sighs. "No, I'm not twenty-eight." 

"Are you forty?" 

"Do you still want my help or are you going to carry all that by yourself?" He asks and he's definitely annoyed now. 

"Okay, fine. I want your help," I admit. 

The idea of these villagers coming after me with swords and other weapons is scary. Not because they're good fighters because I'm sure they aren't, but because they're innocent themselves, they just don't know better than that Flayn is their savior. 

Yuri takes a thick chain from one of the shelves and approaches me with it. 

"I could think of so many ways to have fun with you and a chain, too bad this one's just for binding weapons to your back." 

Can he stop already? I prefer to have my blood equally divided over my whole body, thank you very much. 

"Just get it over with." 

He chuckles before he ties the chain around my shoulders and armpits. I have to resist the urge to pull away every time he touches my armpits though. I'm ticklish there but I don't really want him to find out. 

He then grabs the swords and starts tying them to my back. "Is it heavy?" He asks. 

I nod. My body isn't used to carrying around so much weight. It's one of the reasons why I prefer the bow in the first place. It's light and easy to carry around. 

I feel like an armed turtle when he's done tying all the swords to me. I'm even sure that if I fall backwards, I'll never get up again. 

"You doing okay?" I know he's mocking me by asking that. He's even trying really hard not to laugh at me. 

"Yes, I'm perfect. Let's get out of here before we do get caught." I head out of the room and start walking down the hallway again. 

"Oh, pumpkin. If there was really anyone in this building, your delicious moans would have already summoned them." 

I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. Fuck that. I'm sure he can already read my embarrassment off my face anyway. 

He laughs loudly when he realizes I'm not going to answer that. "You really are amazing, you know that? You give the best reactions." 

"Can we just both stay quiet until we meet up with the others?" I'm perfectly aware that these are the reactions he's trying to get from me, but it's just so hard to ignore him and let it go. 

"Okay, sure. Anything for you, pumpkin." 

Great. I actually like the nickname now. It just sounds so ridiculous though. 

Okay, I'll admit that I'm glad my earlier mood has almost disappeared. Yuri really has a great part in that, along with the realization that Dimitri still cares about me and wants to make amends. Oh, and not to forget that I stabbed Flayn. That really felt good. 

I'm kinda excited to see Dimitri again. As long as Yuri stays near though, but I actually don't even think that'll be a problem when I feel Yuri's fingers lace themselves with mine again as we exit the building together. 

.

When we reach the lonesome road that leads to the town's entrance, I can see a whole bunch of people sitting at the end and waiting for us already. 

I guess we really did take a long time. 

When I spot a mop of blond hair, the urge to pull my hand from Yuri's becomes really great. 

He squeezes my fingers though. "Remember what I told you. He knows about us. Let him be jealous for a bit, see how that turns out." 

I can't believe Yuri's this evil. But a jealous Dimitri does sound pretty amazing, so I relax my hand in Yuri's hold again. 

When we've almost reached the others, Yuri lets go of my hand to start explaining his plan to everyone. 

"Uhm, hold up," Sylvain interrupts. It's hard for me to look at him. "I need to talk to Claude for a second before we do anything else." 

Oh dear, here it comes. 

Yuri looks at me to see if I'm okay with it, so I nod at him. He'll help me if Sylvain tries anything, right? 

Nevertheless, my heartbeat still picks up when Sylvain approaches me. 

"Hey, Claude. Uhm, I'm not really sure what I can even say to you to make up for my behavior before. I'm just... I'm really sorry. And I understand that that's not going to cut it, but I still wanted to say it. At least before we started this mission." 

I nod. I don't really trust my voice right now, with all the memories coming back of Flayn standing in front of me, accusing me of so many falsities and no one believing me. 

He then looks back at Felix, who's been avoiding eye contact with me. 

"Felix," Annette threatens. "Claude deserves an apology, from you definitely!" 

He actually takes a deep breath and joins Sylvain in front of me. 

"Well, Claude. I suppose I should apologize too. But it's not like you can blame us, you're the one who hid all your background information from the rest of us. How were we supposed to know? Flayn knew, yet you never told us anything. And then you were running around with Annette, which just didn't make sense unless Flayn was telling the truth and-" 

"Felix," Sylvain interrupts. "That's not an apology. Claude didn't do anything wrong. We did." 

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm sorry, Claude. You can count on us to help you now. If you still want our help, that is." 

I nod again. I need a moment to recollect my thoughts about these two. I want to forgive them, but I'm sure I'll never forget how I felt because of them. It's a good thing I heard Lysithea's side of the story. If not, I don't think I'd ever even want to forgive either of them. Nor Dimitri. 

But I'm willing to give Dimitri another chance, who actually hurt me far more than Sylvain or Felix, so it wouldn't be fair if I refused to give them a second chance. 

I clear my throat before I try and say something. "I-I forgive you. Both of you. I heard from Lysithea what exactly happened, so I have more understanding for your actions. That said, I don't know how much I can still trust you guys, so Yuri is taking over leadership from me for now. I hope we can work together though, and take this damn thing down." 

A relieved smile makes its way on Sylvain's face. "Thank you, Claude. You have no idea how worried and scared I've been about this. Felix too, but he'd never admit that." 

Felix's frown turns into a scowl. "You're right, I wouldn't." 

I'm glad we finally solved this. I feel like a weight lifted off my heart. I'm finally ready to close that chapter and move on. 

"So, we all good now?" Yuri asks. "Because I'd like to start explaining the plan now. And I'm going to need all of you." 

We all nod in confirmation. I'm curious to find out what he planned in such a short time. 

He better not hope I'm going to make this easy for him. If I have the slightest doubt, I'm coming for him. 

"So, here's what we'll do…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL STILL FOR READING I'M SO HAPPY Y'ALL HAVE NO IDEA


	38. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hiiiii everyone!!! Oh my god I am so HYPED 
> 
> Before I say anything else SPOILER ALERT: REMIRE VILLAGE once more 
> 
> Again, it's changed a tad but I may or may not have used actual lines of the game hehehehe 
> 
> Either way, that aside, THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER OF PART 1 WOOOOOOO 
> 
> Enjoy a 14k chapter bc I was too stubborn to cut it in half and leave y'all in suspense 
> 
> What is gonna change?? Nothing. That's what
> 
> I'll just be adding another work so this fic won't seem like it goes on and on endlessly, that's literally the only purpose of splitting it in half 
> 
> Aside from all that, I want to thank ALL OF YOU who're reading. Bc I never thought I'd actually get more than 2k hits and look where I am. It may not be much compared to other fics, but I'm super happy
> 
> Thank you also who have kudo'd me. I really, really appreciate that
> 
> AND ALL YOU COMMENTERS, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE you deserve special thanks for always making my day and motivating me to write yet another chapter full of chaos and feelings and idek what I put in this fic, but I gave it my everything

"Claude told me about your first plan, which sounded good to me, but I'm changing it a little. The mage, which you all refer to as the source of magic, isn't as easy to get rid of as you all thought." Yuri looks around at everyone. 

"The very mage who casted this spell is here..? But how?" Lysithea asks. 

Logically, it doesn't make sense for the mage to be here. This spell is about a hundred years old, so that would mean the mage is too. But after everything we've seen, I'm not even surprised by this anymore. If that mage can launch a powerful spell like this, surely he's found a way to live forever. 

"That's right," Yuri answers. "If what Claude said is true, that mage should be here right now to cast his spell on probably Raphael and others as well. We'll make sure to save them, but there's a possibility that they're already under the influence of the magic." 

I hear a few gasps. I really don't like that idea either. All the more reason to hurry up and get out there.

"Are we already too late then?" Dimitri asks. His voice is soft. 

"No. I'm positive that once we break this spell, the people that were under it and are still alive, can just wake up. However, if Raphael is under the influence of that magic, there's a big chance we'll need to fight him. Whatever you do, try to make sure you don't kill the infected. It's possible to just knock them unconscious with a hard hit to the head, so that's what we'll do. If, however, your own life is in danger, kill them before they kill you. You'll just turn into one of them if you die and that doesn't help anyone." 

It's reassuring to hear that the infected will probably just turn back to normal once the magic is released. But the fact that we might have to fight Raphael, amongst other infected villagers, really doesn't sit right with me. 

I don't want to fight Raphael.

"I can already see in your faces that you don't feel comfortable with the idea of fighting your friend. I'll make sure to take that responsibility for you and I promise that he'll stay alive. You can count on me." 

"I'll help you," Felix informs. "If there are a lot of them, you're going to have a hard time taking them on by yourself." 

Yuri nods at that. "You seem like you're quick on your feet, so that'll come in handy. I just hope your confidence won't lead to any mistakes. We can't afford to make any." 

Felix scoffs. "I'm aware. I won't fail." 

That bothers me more than I'd like to admit. I'm okay with having Yuri take on that job, but Felix seems too reckless to be mindful of his attacks. 

Surely he'll understand how important this is, right? But then again, he realized he made a mistake after we fought Byleth before. I'll bite my tongue this time and give him a chance. 

"So we're practically up against three different enemies here. We got the infected villagers covered, so that leaves the mage and Byleth. Byleth is a strong and quick fighter, so physical attacks won't do much against him. He'll be quicker and stronger than you, so even trying would be futile. Therefore, I agree with Claude's first plan on having Lysithea take him on. Regardless of whether you stay out of his reach or not, one mistake will kill you. That's why Dedue will help with blocking Byleth's attacks to increase your chances of succeeding." 

"Yeah, hold on," Linhardt protests. "I was included in that plan too. And if we can save their lives by knocking them out, we can't have Lysithea use a powerful spell on Byleth. It would kill him." 

True that. Since Byleth is a teacher, having him alive could benefit us all greatly. 

"I took you out of that plan because you're our healer. You should not be on the frontlines. And what would you suggest we do with Byleth then?" Yuri crosses his arms in front of his chest. 

I bet he doesn't like it when people oppose him. Too bad for him, that's just how Linhardt rolls.

"Well, if we can just distract Byleth long enough for whoever is going to take down the mage, we'll reduce any chance of failing and once the spell is gone, Byleth will turn back to normal." 

That sounds like a decent plan, but what if they don't turn back to normal once the spell is lifted? Or what if Byleth has been under the influence for so long, that it's impossible for him to turn back?

Linhardt's idea is incredibly risky. If the mage has put a limit on Byleth's movements, that means that once the mage is gone, Byleth is free to go wherever he wants. There would be no way to escape him anymore. 

Yuri hums in thought. 

"No, we can't," I decide before Yuri can. "If Byleth doesn't turn back to normal, defeating the mage would remove his movement restrictions. It's too risky. We have to take down Byleth along with the mage." 

That shuts Linhardt up, for now at least, so Yuri can continue his explanation. 

"Okay, sounds good. I'm not really experienced with magic and all that stuff, so I'm trusting that you two can form a plan around that," Yuri tells Lysithea. "Remember, Byleth is a long- and close-range attacker. Stay as far away from him as possible and only approach him when you're good to attack him. You'll need to hit him hard in order to take him down." 

Lysithea and Dedue nod at him. I can see Lysithea is nervous. A lot of that plan is focused on her after all. If she fails to hit Byleth, we may all be done for. 

I wish I could support her somehow, but she's literally the only one here who could pull it off. 

"Also, Linhardt. Are you able to use Physic? Because I want you to keep an eye out on the rest of us as well. We can't die, no matter what." 

Physic? What the hell is that? 

He nods. "Yes. I can't use it infinitely though." 

"That's fine. I don't plan on letting this go on infinitely. So that leaves Dimitri, Sylvain and Claude to fight the mage. He's incredibly dangerous. The spell he uses most is Death, which has a huge hitting range. It's not an instant kill spell, but if you get hit with that, it makes it easier for him to cast the other spell on you, which will turn you into an infected. Avoid getting hit by him at all costs. If Linhardt is even a second too late with healing you, it might already be too late." 

Well, fuck. How are we supposed to take him down if we have to focus on avoiding his attacks? And then there is indeed the possibility that he'll try to cast his magic on us. 

I need to start thinking of a plan. If I can hide somewhere out of his range, maybe I can just snipe him and take him out in one go. But hiding is going to be terribly difficult. Not only because the mage has such a wide attacking range, but also because we don't know how many infected he has with him. 

And what if he can summon his whole army? Felix and Yuri would never be enough to take down so many infected on their own, no matter how quick they both are. 

"Have you fought them before or something?" Sylvain asks. "Because you seem to know a lot about both of them." 

Yuri nods. "Yeah. Back when my allies and I came here, we tried to take down Byleth immediately. We were doing a fairly good job at keeping him at bay, but then that mage appeared. He just ruined everything. Almost all my allies had fallen because of him and he turned them right on the spot. I had no other choice but to run with the few allies that survived. Conveniently enough, this village lies right here and that's how I ended up here in the first place. Then Flayn came along and turned the rest of my allies against me. Blabla, you know what happened. Either way, I'm ready to avenge the people that sacrificed their lives for trying to end this." 

Damn, that's messed up. I figured that Yuri fought these enemies before, but I never imagined he actually got this close. How frustrating it must have been for him to get so close, only to then have to be forced to retreat and have the few allies he had left turn on him. 

I suddenly gained a lot more respect for this guy. And who knows what else he's been through before all this? He never learned how to write or read, so does that mean he grew up in severe poverty? Or maybe he's been all alone as a child without anyone around to teach him. Or perhaps he was just trained to be a fighter, and nothing else. 

I'm honestly ashamed of myself now. The way I acted, the way I reasoned… How can I break down like that in front of someone who's been through all that and more, but held himself together so well? I'm such a child. 

"Uhm, what about me?" Annette asks hesitantly. "You haven't given me a job yet." 

"Right, that was on purpose. What can you do?" Yuri asks in turn.

"Well, uhm… I can use some magic? Oh, and I know how to handle an axe a little!" 

Oof. 

"You see, Annette, Ashe and Mercedes mainly baked a lot of cookies and pies and other stuff while the rest of us were busy training," Sylvain explains with a nervous chuckle. 

Dimitri and Annette look embarrassed too. 

I can't believe them. I remember a whole week of studying, training and getting barely any rest, while they were just baking? 

I guess if you think about it, having everyone work hard wouldn't really make sense. We were only supposed to be out here for three days after all. Even still, I'm incredibly glad that I decided we all needed to be thoroughly prepared for those three days. 

Who knows what could have happened to my Deer if we hadn't? Annette is incredibly lucky for having Dedue around to protect her all this time. 

"Alright," Yuri comments. "You can cheer us all on from the sidelines." 

That probably stings, but it's the best way to keep her safe. There's no reason for her to risk her life if she can't defend it. 

She nods with a weak smile. "Sorry for being useless…" 

Dedue pats her head gently. "Don't apologize. There was no way of knowing we'd end up in a situation like this." 

And that's a fact. What a giant mess we found ourselves in. I really, really wanna just get this over with, but being hasty is probably a terrible idea. 

"Hey, Linhardt? Could you heal my arm for me?" I hope that he can heal it. He wasn't able to before, but maybe it's possible now.

Yuri almost got rid of the infection after all. 

All eyes are suddenly on me. 

"What do you mean, your arm? Hasn't that healed yet?" Sylvain asks. His eyes are huge, just like everyone else's. 

Yeah, probably a bad timing to be hurt. All of our lives are at stake here. If my arm fails me, we all might be done for.

"No, but don't worry about my arm. I'll manage if Linhardt can heal it." 

Mentioned man approaches me, fingers already hued in a white glow. "Let me see that." 

I stick out my arm so he has better access. I really hate that it was my good arm that got hurt. 

Linhardt's face does something I really did not want to see. 

"You can heal it, right?" I ask for confirmation. He can't fail me now.

His brows are still furrowed as he shakes his head. "It's still slightly inflamed. I can't heal it as long as there's an infection, or I'll be 'burying' the infection into your skin. That'll only lead to more problems in the future, to the point where you might not be able to use your arm at all anymore." 

Well, fuck. That is really shitty. "If you do heal me now, how badly would that affect my performance in battle?" 

He shakes his head once more. "Sorry, but I'm not risking that. One of the first things we learn when studying Faith, is that we never close an inflamed wound with magic. Even if the situation is dire now, it would be too dangerous for you in the future." 

I grit my teeth. If Linhardt won't help me, what am I supposed to do? I can't fire an arrow like this, it'll hurt far too much to aim properly. And there's no way I'm sitting out on this one. 

"Is there no temporary option that you could use?" Lysithea joins Linhardt and me and inspects my arm. "Like, if you heal it now, you could cut the wound back open and let it heal properly after this fight." 

I look at Linhardt with hopeful eyes, but he still isn't convinced. For fuck's sake. 

"It could work with other wounds, but this infection is too persistent. A normal infection would have healed already. I think, if I were to do what you suggested, that the infection will spread further under his skin. He might lose his arm because of it. I'm not risking that." 

Argh, come on! "I'd rather lose my arm than all of you. Just heal it. We'll deal with the consequences when they're here." 

I push my arm in his direction to make it clear that I'm serious. His lips are pressed together in a thin line, showing that he obviously disapproves of my thoughts. 

So instead, I push my arm towards Lysithea, who visibly startles from my movement.

"Oh, uhm… You want me to heal you?" She looks hesitant as well. 

I still nod though. I need my arm for this battle and we're wasting time like this. 

"It's my good arm. I need it," I press. 

She looks at Linhardt, who looks back at her with a frown. She's aware that he wouldn't approve, so I can't say whether she'll help me or not. How annoying. 

"I'll set you up on a date with him once this is over if you heal me," I whisper so only she can hear me. "I'll even make you sweets." 

If that isn't enough to convince her, I don't know what is. 

She gives me a glare at first, but that soon shifts into a suppressed smirk. "Cake is my favorite," she says before she takes hold of my arm. 

Awesome! I owe her big time. That date and cake are going to be the best in the whole world.

"Thank you, Lysithea. I really appreciate it." 

"Just keep in mind that whatever happens to your arm, you're responsible. If you lose your arm because of this, you can't blame anybody but yourself, okay?" 

"Yes, of course. Go ahead." I meant it; I'd rather lose my arm whenever than risk the lives of all these people now. 

It's a small sacrifice when you think about it. 

The tingle from white magic seeping into my skin becomes perceptible and I can't even describe how glad I am that Lysithea wants to help me. I understand Linhardt's reasoning, but we can't afford to be picky in our ways when we're dealing with something this important. 

If we couldn't take out the mage because I couldn't aim, that would haunt me forever, even in death. 

"Does anyone else need any preparations? Because I'd like to start dividing and handing out weapons now," Yuri informs. 

He shrugs off the bows from his shoulders before he throws me a steel bow. I thank him for it. 

He then unties the rope from his middle, which causes the axes to fall to the ground with a thump. Dedue walks over to take an iron axe. "This one is lighter than the steel one," he explains. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle the other one properly because of the weight." 

Yuri nods at that before he approaches me to help me with the chain. From the corner of my eye, I can see Dimitri looking at us. 

I feel bad now. I'm sure he'd want to help me instead, but he's scared to approach me. If only I had some time to talk to him alone. Yuri said he's okay with a three-way relationship, but from the looks of it, he might change his mind about that. 

I can't have that though. I want both him and Yuri. I'll just have to give him my attention when I have time to do that. Right now, we got bigger things to focus on. 

That mage… He'll use magic, obviously. Our resistance isn't bad, but it's nothing remarkable either. I guess Yuri already saw that, since he said we really can't be hit by any attack. 

So, we're avoiding the spells. He can't target the three of us at once, so we could probably use that to our advantage. I just need a bit of time to read his movements. Once I recognize a pattern, avoiding and possibly hitting him shouldn't be too hard. Especially because I don't need to be close to him to attack. 

I eye Sylvain and Dimitri. They're both armed with lances. That's obviously their preferred weapon, so I'm not going to have them change it. That means they're going to have to get close to the mage to hit it, which is a downside. But if Sylvain is even remotely close to Dimitri in terms of fighting skills, I don't think I'll have much to worry about. 

"Claude!" Yuri's loud voice sounds near my ear. "Seriously, pay attention when I'm talking." 

I look at him. Was he even talking? I heard nothing. 

"You there now? I need those daggers, get them out of your pants before I take them myself." He points at my waist, where I put the three daggers I took earlier. 

"Ah, right." I lift up my shirt to grab the daggers and moving my arm feels great again. 

There's a bit of a strain under my skin though, which is probably the inflammation, but it feels much better than before. 

I really owe Lysithea. 

I hand him the three daggers, my mother's not included, which he holds with ease. He really knows how to handle knives, huh. 

Now, back to my plan. If I can find an opening between the mage's attacks, I could take him down with a single arrow. The only problem is that he might actually target me first, because I'm a long-range attacker. He'll have plenty of time to deal with Sylvain and Dimitri, since they need time to reach him before they can attack. 

I'll need to hide either myself, or my bow. But if I stay behind, it'll be difficult to support Sylvain and Dimitri if they need it. 

So I'll hide my bow. If I tie it around my shoulder, it won't be as obvious. I'll just take one of these short swords to distract the attention from my main weapon. And it's not very heavy either, so that's a plus. 

But what if we get hit? We don't have someone like Dedue that can block an attack for us. Linhardt's gonna have to keep a close eye on us. I'll just have to trust his skills. 

After Yuri is satisfied with everyone's weapons, he moves away from me and towards Felix and Linhardt to discuss their plan of action. Lysithea's walked over to Dedue and Annette, so it's time for Dimitri, Sylvain and I to start forming a plan as well. 

I just wish I had something concrete to go with. If there's anything I'm not, it's impulsive. I need to have a plan, preferably thought out by myself, in order to act. But it's hard, even for me, to create a plan with the little information and people we got right now.

If Lorenz's gang had come with us, what would have been different? We'd have a lot more units to use right now, that's for sure. But would Flayn have had an influence on them too? 

I actually don't even think so. Lysithea was on my side all the way and she and Raphael were the only Deer that came with us. Had Hilda, Ignatz, Marie, Leonie and Lorenz been here with us, there's no way Flayn could have done anything. 

I miss Hilda's obnoxious high voice. I miss how irritating Lorenz can be. I miss Ignatz's thoughtfulness. I miss Marianne's silent, but always present assurance. I miss Leonie's confidence. I miss them all. 

We can't fail here. We need to do whatever we can to make sure we succeed. 

"Dima, Sylvain, come here please." I need to talk to them. We have probably the most important job here, so I need to make sure that we won't screw this up. 

Dimitri's eyes light up immediately when I call out to him and it's only then that I realize I just called him Dima. I haven't called or thought of him as Dima for a while, but it feels right. I'll make sure he'll be my Dima again.

I also notice Yuri's calculative gaze directed at me. I wonder what he's thinking, but I can't afford to get distracted now. 

Both Dimitri and Sylvain join me, Dimitri still a safe distance away from me, so it's time to start forming a plan. But how do we go about this? 

"So, looks like we got the best job, huh?" Sylvain laughs. 

I'm sure he doesn't really think of it as a good thing, but his smiles are the hardest to read. I don't like that. 

"It's definitely the most important. We have to make sure we succeed in taking down that mage," Dimitri fills in. 

Sylvain nods at that. I'm glad they at least understand that this is going to be important. It's a weird thing to think that even if Yuri or Lysithea fails, we could still win this fight. But if we fail, it's over. The others can't take over our job for us. 

Way to increase the pressure, Claude. 

"Okay, so," I start, but I have no idea what to tell them. "We're gonna have to avoid every single attack. I can see both of you like to use the lance, so you're gonna have to get close to him. It would be great if we could launch some kind of surprise attack on him." 

"So, one of us should stay hidden then? I wonder if that's possible," Dimitri ponders. 

"It'll probably be tough to pull off. Although, if one of us has to hide, it should probably be Claude, since he can stay a safe distance away from that mage," Sylvain explains. 

I nod. That's the same thing I was thinking before. I put the steel bow over my shoulder, so that mostly only the bowstring is visible. The mage shouldn't be able to see it this way. 

"Is your arm okay?" Dimitri asks. I can see in his body language how badly he wants to come closer to me, but Yuri's warning is preventing him from doing that.

Sylvain sees it too, but doesn't comment on it. He probably thinks Dimitri and I broke up and that I'm with Yuri now, since we walked over while holding hands.

This is going to be much more complicated than I thought at first. Not just with Dima and Yuri, but everyone around us as well. I'm sure they wouldn't approve. 

"Yeah. Lysithea's healing helped a lot, but I think Linhardt might be right about my arm becoming unusable." 

He nods and I can see relief filling his eyes. He really still cares about me. I smile at him and he gratefully smiles back, happy that I'm showing him kindness again after having been so cold towards him. 

We spend a few seconds just looking in each other's eyes and I swear I can feel my earlier dead butterflies resurrect. 

Sylvain sighs loudly. "Can we just talk about the plan? You can do your lovey-dovey weird romance crap after." 

Right, the plan. I force myself to break the eye contact. Dima's always had a way of distracting me. 

"Yeah, sorry. I was thinking that I should hide my bow, rather than myself. That way, I can still stay behind, but the mage won't see me as much as a threat. As soon as I see an opening, I can try to take him down with arrows. But it's risky for the both of you, since he might target you guys first." 

"We'll be fine. We may not look like it, but we know how to fight. We used to train together on the training grounds all the time," Sylvain tells me. 

"And Felix pretty much forced us to improve our speed constantly so we could keep up with him, since he's quicker than most people," Dimitri adds. 

I nod. 

That's reassuring. Looks like we're okay to go then. I check my quiver, which has about eight arrows in it. Eight arrows is all I have and there's no time to make new ones. 

Eight chances should be more than enough. I just need to focus on hitting that mage. It'll be fine. 

"We're ready," I inform Yuri. 

"Good. I think we're all good to go as well. I'll just explain what we're gonna do as much as I can. I don't really have too much information about either the mage or Byleth, nor you all, so I can't form a proper plan of action. The first enemy we'll find will be Byleth, no doubt about that. That means that Dedue and Lysithea need to be ready for battle as soon as we get close. When Byleth is distracted enough by them, we'll slip by and reach the ruins where the mage appeared the first time I fought him. It's likely that that's also where he's hiding the villagers, so that'll be Felix and my que. While we're taking care of the villagers, Dimitri, Sylvain and Claude will have to fight the mage. But that's where it gets tricky, because you guys need to take him down fast. The more time you take, the longer the rest of us have to keep struggling. But you also can't make any mistake, because that can be fatal. If I can see any opening, I'll make sure to help you guys, but that all depends on the amount of villagers that mage has there." 

So we can't depend on Yuri. Well, not like I was going to anyway, but it'd be nice if he could just sweep in and kill the mage unexpectedly. 

"Can we just go already? I'm so nervous that I'm afraid I'll faint if we keep stalling." Lysithea looks around at the rest of us, who all nod at her. 

This is it. No going back. 

. 

"Okay, looks like we're here. You guys have to go in front, so we can sneak past you and Byleth. Good luck." Yuri nods at Lysithea and Dedue, who start their walk towards Byleth.

He's standing on top of his signature hill, just staring off into space. He's not moving, but he has his sword ready to attack whenever he notices anyone. 

Dedue grabs Lysithea's arm to get her to walk behind him. I'm glad he did that. At least he'll probably receive the first hit now, which he'll hopefully be able to block. 

"Don't just sit here. We gotta get moving too," Yuri instructs. "Linhardt, find a safe spot somewhere so you'll be out of reach, but still able to heal anyone who needs it. Take Annette with you as well, so she can keep an eye on everyone along with you and tell you when someone's hurt." 

Linhardt nods before he grabs Annette to head somewhere while the rest of us follow after Dedue and Lysithea, who are nearing Byleth now. 

Within a second, he's noticed them and lashes out with his sword. Dedue wastes no time in grabbing his axe, blocking the attack right on time. His face scrunches up from the impact of the blow, but he seems to be alright. Not like Dimitri when he blocked it. 

"Claude, focus. We have other things to be worried about right now." Yuri grabs my shoulder, which forces me to look into his eyes. "Believe in them." 

Believe in them... Okay, I'll believe in them. I know what Lysithea is capable of, and Dedue's been keeping Annette completely out of harm. They'll be okay. 

As we try to get past Byleth, the glimmering of his sword reflecting sunlight catches my attention. Are you kidding me? 

"Duck!" I shout before I tackle Felix to the ground. 

He was completely unaware of Byleth's attack, which made a cut in his side. He groans in pain and the wound is oozing out blood. It could have been worse, but it's still an ugly cut. 

"Shit..!" Yuri mutters. He keeps an eye on Byleth to try and block the next attack while Sylvain calls out for Linhardt.

I push myself off Felix' body and help him up so Linhardt can see the wound. I'm not sure where he is right now, but a faint white light surrounds Felix' body, closing and healing the wound. 

Nice! I like that Physic thing. I'm just hoping Linhardt has enough energy to keep using it before he runs out.

We continue on, but with a quicker pace this time. It won't do to get held up by Byleth right now. We need to get to the mage.

The sword attacks us twice more, but thanks to my sharp eyes, we managed to avoid getting hit both times. Good thing I wasn't able to distract my attention from Lysithea and Dedue completely. 

We make it past Byleth, and we're out of his attacking range now, which leads us to ruins of some sort. Just like Yuri said there are. 

So this is where that mage is going to appear. Fuck, I'm scared. 

"Do not let down your guard," Yuri orders. "It may seem like nobody's here, but he'll come. He knows we're here." 

Fuck me. Why can't he just be waiting for us here? That'd ease my nerves much more than having to wait until he makes an appearance himself. 

"Felix, is your side alright?" Sylvain asks softly.

Felix huffs. "Yeah. I'm not a baby like you." 

Sylvain chuckles at that and the rest of us snicker softly. Despite that this is really not the time to be snarky, Felix still manages to do it. 

"Something's coming," Yuri announces. 

His arm is sticking out to cover Dimitri and me, presumably as a form of protection. His other arm is holding his sword in front of him so he can use it to attack whenever.

How cute. He really seems to care about his allies, much more than I at first assumed. I really thought he just likes to fuck around with people's heads and simultaneously order them around, but he's a lot more protective and caring than I gave him credit for.

But, something's coming. I hope it's the mage and I hope even more that he came alone. But when I see the figures that are approaching us, that hope soon fades. 

A dozen of villagers approach us from both our left and our right side and it's obvious from the veins popping out of their heads and their eyes that they're under the influence of the magic spell. They're all holding weapons; swords, lances or axes, and I'm scared for Yuri and Felix.

Among the infected on our left is Raphael, carrying an axe in his arm. 

"Looks like it's our time to shine, Felix. I'll take the left side, the right one's yours. Good luck." Yuri immediately leaves us to start knocking out the villagers that approach us and damn, he's fast. 

Felix runs off as well, but not before Sylvain gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. 

"Just look out for yourself. I don't need luck when I have my sword." And with that, Felix is gone too. 

The mage is still nowhere to be seen, and it makes me incredibly nervous. Both Yuri and Felix are trying hard to avoid any attacks while trying to knock out the infected. The short sword I'm holding is itching in my hand, making it hard for me to just stand by and watch them struggle. 

Believe in them. They'll be okay. Even if they're struggling, their speed makes up for the fact that they can't go all out with their attacks. Yuri's knocked out two already, while Felix is now busy with his second. 

If they get hurt, Linhardt will be right there to patch them up. No worries. They'll be okay. Believe in them. 

"Claude… Looks like he's here," Dimitri tells me. 

Someone has emerged from the trees in the back of the ruins. An old man, it seems. A very familiar one at that. He keeps walking towards us until he's reached the ruins.

"It can't be… The one who created this spell… isn't that Tomas?" I can't believe what I'm seeing, but he's really there. 

Standing right in front of us, wearing a disgusting, evil smile on his face, is really Tomas, the librarian of the monastery. 

"I'm not Tomas," he answers. "My name is Solon, the savior of all!" 

Solon? What the hell? Savior..? 

His form suddenly changes with a flash, revealing someone entirely different. Not only his clothes have changed, his whole appearance is nothing like the Tomas we knew. 

His head, which is now significantly bigger in size, looks nothing like before. His hair color is different, his eyes are different. What even is up with his eyes? They're completely black with a small, white iris in the middle. Not only that, one eye seems closed, while the other one is huge. There's marks around his open eye and it creeps me out. 

"What's the matter? So shocked you can't even speak? You were so easily fooled by my disguise…" Even his voice has changed. 

It's much lower than 'Tomas'', and I know I heard it before. How could I not have noticed? Well, in my defense, this shouldn't be possible. 

How is he capable of disguising himself in such a way that it's impossible to tell it's fake? 

Is it the same disguise Rhea and Seteth have been using? But if that's the case… Are they working together with this bastard? 

"I've been hiding in Garreg Mach to get the blood of that girl named Flayn. Back then, I needed it to create this spell. Do you like it? It's a true masterpiece. Flayn helped me, in exchange for giving her what she desired. Together, we succeeded and since then, we have been working with each other to keep this up." 

Flayn gave this man her blood? She willingly allowed him to create a spell like this one? For what? This village? More power? 

How disgusting. 

"Sorry to tell you, but Flayn is gone. Whatever you used her for, it's over now. And the same fate is awaiting you." I point my sword at him and from the corners of my eyes, I see Sylvain and Dimitri ready their weapons as well. 

This is it. If we do this quickly, we can maybe overwhelm him and catch him off guard. 

"Sylvain, take his right flank. He'll try to keep you at bay with an attack, so make sure you dodge. While he's busy, Dimitri, you try to get to his right side. It would leave him open in the middle, so I'll be able to shoot an arrow at him. Be careful." 

As soon as I'm done talking, Sylvain practically flies forward. 

I hope this works. From what I can see, he hasn't noticed the bow on my back yet. Good. If he's as stupid as he looks, we might actually win this right away. 

A pained grunt from Felix sounds loudly, which causes Sylvain to falter in his steps. He stumbles for just one second, but it's enough to have Solon target and attack him right away. 

A couple of dark purple wisps surround his body, slowing him down tremendously. He falls to the ground with a loud smack. Sylvain tries to get up, but fails every try. 

Is that the spell Yuri mentioned? Death? He said it's not an instant kill spell, but it still looks incredibly painful. 

Both Sylvain and Felix are down right now, so I tell Dimitri to stay back. That magic appeared way faster than I had expected. 

Of course this couldn't be easy. 

"Hahaha! Did you think I'd let you? That's not even all I can do," Solon announces before he stretches his arms out towards Dimitri and myself. 

"Move!" I scream at Dimitri before I push him aside. 

The only thing I see is a flash of dark magic before a major pain invades my body. Just how far does his magic reach? It's impossible. 

I fall to the ground, my body unable to keep me upright. Fuck, get up. I can't fail here. If I can just overcome this pain… 

"Claude! Claude, are you okay?!" Dimitri crouches down next to me, desperately pulling at my limbs to get me back on my feet as he calls for Linhardt. 

This is bad. This is terrible. Felix is down and wounded and he's probably still surrounded by the infected Solon brought here. Sylvain's movements are restricted, allowing him to move back just a little, but he's still within Solon's reach. We all are, for that matter. 

I think what Solon used on me was the Death spell, so what he casted on Sylvain must have been something different. Something which purposely makes it hard for Sylvain to move. 

If Dimitri gets hit by that, we're done for. 

"Don't get hit by him," I tell Dimitri with gritted teeth. I can barely manage to stand, but it's enough. 

I'll push through. 

On my left, Yuri is elegantly punching and bumping the infected's heads with the hilt of his sword to knock them out. He looks like he's hurt too, but the wounds don't seem so severe. 

On my right, Felix seems to have received a heal from Linhardt, since he's up and fighting again. It's obvious he doesn't have the experience Yuri has, but he's managing well enough. 

Sylvain is still down, although he doesn't really seem to be so hurt anymore. Has he been healed too? But why can't he get up? 

Solon's arm movement catches my attention. He's preparing another Death spell, so Dimitri and I need to dodge this one. But who is he going to target? It was hard to see before, so I doubt I'll be able to see it now. 

Instead of waiting for Solon to cast his spell, Dimitri starts running towards him. 

"No, Dima! What are you doing?!" He's practically ensuring that Solon targets him. 

He's actually ensuring that Solon targets him. He's doing it to make sure I won't be attacked again. 

Fuck. Why is he stupid? It's a struggle, but I manage to take the bow into my hands and put an arrow on it. 

It's hard to aim because of the weird magic flowing through my body, so all I can do is hope I'll hit Solon and not Dimitri. 

"No, Dimitri! Stop!" Sylvain shouts. 

I let go of the arrow, firing it right at Solon, but I miss. Not because my aim was bad, but because Solon somehow warped away. 

He reappears right behind Dimitri. 

"Dima, dodge!" My voice cracks terribly from the fear I'm feeling.

Solon stretches his arm and launches a Miasma at Dimitri's back. He laughs loudly when Dimitri falls to the floor. 

No! No, please. Dima..! 

I pull another arrow from my quiver and lay it on my bow. Solon has his back turned towards me, so this is a great opportunity. 

I just have to focus.

As I'm trying to aim at the back of Solon's head, a red fluid coming from Dimitri's head catches my attention instead. 

Sylvain is calling out to Dimitri loudly, but Dimitri doesn't respond. At all. 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This can't be happening!

I shoot the arrow and I miss. Not even because Solon does anything, but because I can hardly see anything with these tears blurring my vision. 

Sylvain has managed to sit on his knees and he hurls his lance at Solon, who seemed to be casting yet another kind of spell on Dimitri. 

Is that the..? The controlling spell? He can't do that to Dima. He can't..! 

The lance hits Solon across his shoulder, which causes him to be forced to break the spell in favor of putting pressure on the wound. 

"Dima!" I try, but he stays down and unmoving. 

No. Please, no. What do I do? 

I put yet another arrow on my bow, but Solon prevents me from shooting it by casting the same spell on me as he did on Sylvain. I fall to the ground again, dropping my bow somewhere during the act.

I don't think I'll ever get up again now. 

I'm aware of everything around me, but my body won't move. I was already weak from the Death spell he used on me. And now I'm completely useless. 

How could I ever think this would be easy? This dude has been keeping up this spell for nearly a hundred years. Of course, he knows how to fight. 

Get up. Fucking Claude, get up. You're stronger than this. Dima is going to be one of the infected at this rate. 

Sylvain threw his weapon, so it's up to me to do something. I have to kill this mage. I absolutely have to! 

With clenched jaws, I somehow manage to twist my body and lie face-flat on the hard floor. If I can just put pressure on my arms, I could push myself up. 

Solon is standing over Dimitri again, which is enough motivation to get my gears in motion. I rest my hands on the ground, ready to push my body upright again. 

Fight, fight, fight..! 

I promised. I promised to many people that we'd succeed. I swore that I'd make an end to this. I have to. I can't lose. 

With as much determination and effort I have in my body right now, I manage to lift my body up a few centimeters. The magic is coursing through my body, working against every muscle I'm trying to control with my own strength. 

I can't give in here. I can't give up now. We're so close. I can't fail my friends. I can't fail Dimitri. I can't fail Yuri. 

I grit my teeth before I shout out in exertion. This is hard, but the physical strain on my body is nothing compared to the fear of losing everything. 

"I'm surprised you can move," Solon tells me. "How very impressive, given that my Banshee usually paralyzes my victims at least the first few minutes. Too bad that it won't change anything. Look around. This spell is the fate that has awaited you, from the moment you set foot outside of the monastery. And there's nothing you can do to stop me. You filthy rat." 

I squeeze my eyes shut. I refuse to cry. Despite the pain, the frustration and the fear I'm feeling, I can't show weakness. If I'm weak, I'll never win. 

But my arms betray me. I collapse back onto the floor, leaving my body weak and sore. 

No! This wasn't supposed to happen! We got so close. How? How did we fail when we got so close? 

I can see Sylvain, who is desperately trying to get up again. He looks terrible. Pain is evident on his face, and I'm sure the image of Dimitri lying there in a puddle of his own blood is the main cause of that. 

Isn't Yuri finished yet? Can't he save Dima? Please, someone save Dima. 

And as if this isn't bad enough, I can hear screaming coming from behind us. 

What's going on over there? I hope Lysithea is doing okay. I hope she can survive, even if we all won't. Lysithea, Linhardt, Annette and Dedue… 

Maybe if Yuri and Felix fled with Sylvain, they could survive too. They'd have to run, fast and far, but they might make it. I'm sure they could make it through the underground passage in the village and get back inside the monastery. 

I'll kill myself here and I'll make sure I'll be a weak infected. Dima's already- 

No, don't think that. That blood means nothing. Maybe he just got a cut in his forehead. Yeah, that's right. 

Or maybe his skull is cracked open from the collision with the ground. 

Tears return to my eyes in full force. Dima… I'm so sorry. All because you tried to save me, because you wanted to prove to me that you still care. 

I take a deep breath. It's too soon to give up. As long as I'm still breathing, I can fight. Even if he paralyzes me with his magic, even if he hurts me to the point where I can't even think straight anymore, I can still fight. 

Get up. Just get up. If I can stand, I can fight. I can keep struggling until I can't anymore. 

Once more, I put pressure on my arms to push my body up. It's easier, but I can still feel my own muscles trying to wear me down. I can't have that right now. I need to push further. I need to cross my limits. 

My breathing is harsh and my tears are falling on the ground, but I'm managing. I'm pushing myself up with my own two arms. 

That's right. Just get up. 

I look over to Dima once more and I can see how dark magic is swirling around his head. Is that how Solon casts his disgusting spell? 

"Stop… You monster..! Leave Dima alone!" I scream with all my might, which gives me the strength to push myself up further. 

I support my weight with my knees, which allows me to sit up. I'm panting from the exertion and I'm feeling incredibly dizzy, but I'm sitting. 

"Claude, Dimitri is…" Sylvain sounds broken. 

I don't want him to finish that. I don't want to hear it. Dima is okay. He has to be, because I'm going to make it. I'll kill Solon, and Dimitri has to see it. He'll be so proud of me. 

But I can't reach my bow. And the sword is even further away from me. Solon is casting his spell on Dimitri, knowing that neither Sylvain or I can do anything to stop him now. 

He's been controlling more infected as well, sending more and bigger amounts of infected towards Yuri and Felix. They're exhausted, but they're still fighting. 

I thought it before; I can't fail Yuri. But in reality, I already have. It's taking too long. He and Felix are trying so hard, but it's all in vain because I failed. 

I squeeze my eyes shut once more. Is this how it's gonna end? Are we going to die fighting? Or rather, doing nothing? 

I can't even move. 

"Claude, Sylvain, get down!" Linhardt yells. 

Get down? I look at Sylvain, who looks just as confused as I'm feeling. 

But then a bright light appears to Solon's side. I faintly recognize it. It's the same light that Solon summoned when he warped before. 

And then a figure stands there. Armed with a sword, and a dead look on his face. 

What the fuck? 

"Did it work?!" Lysithea's voice asks. 

Was this the plan? Did they do this? 

"It did. Claude, Sylvain, get down now!" Linhardt repeats. 

I blink my tears away and then it becomes clear. They warped Byleth here. What the fuck is wrong with them? He'll kill us on the spot! 

"What the fuck, Linhardt?! Are you trying to give us an immediate death or something?!" I can't even hide the irritation in my voice. 

"Get down, just trust us!" 

I allow myself to collapse back on the hard rock beneath me. Just trust them. 

Just trust them. 

"What in the-" Solon's voice shouts. 

The dark magic around Dima's head starts to fade. Is the spell being broken again? 

Byleth swings his sword around once and I close my eyes. I don't want to see my death coming. I'm waiting to hear either Sylvain's scream or to feel the slash of a sword, but neither of those things happen. 

What in the world? 

"Claude, look! Open your eyes," Sylvain tells me. 

I do as he says and oh my god. 

Byleth is opposing Solon, attacking him rather than Sylvain or me. He even ignores Yuri and Felix. 

"Get away from me, you mutt!" Solon shouts before he casts his Banshee on Byleth. 

The magic power of the spell isn't great enough to even hurt Byleth though. He swings his sword once more and slashes right across Solon's torso. 

He screams out in pain as the blood gushes out of him. 

Linhardt, you genius. 

Byleth keeps relentlessly attacking Solon, while he can do nothing but take damage. Any of his spells aren't strong enough to break through Byleth's resistance, so Solon is completely useless right now. 

At least I now understand why Byleth got a movement restriction. He wasn't completely under Solon's control, so he'd be a danger to even Solon himself. 

What an idiot. He thought to be clever to use Byleth as a guardian to protect himself, while in reality, Byleth is his own greatest enemy. 

Even now, almost a hundred years after their first battle. The irony.

I guess if you think about it, this was Byleth's fight to begin with. Maybe the key to winning was Byleth all along. 

Ha… That's actually pretty funny. 

With one final slash, Byleth cuts through Solon's throat. He falls down while the wound on his neck covers the ground in red beneath his now lifeless body. 

And that's that. 

I can feel the dark magic slowly fade from my body. My muscles become lighter and the dizziness gradually disappears. The soreness and aches still remain, but it's better than nothing. 

Dima. 

I stand up, not even caring about the fact that Byleth is standing there, and I rush over to Dimitri. 

The blood on the floor is unmistakably his. Oh no. Oh, fuck, no. 

I turn his body over on his back, which allows me to see the damage that was done to him. The right side of his face is completely covered in blood. 

Wait, is he breathing? Please let him be breathing. He has to breathe, because if he's not breathing, he's probably…

Don't think. Just check pulse. Check. Pulse. 

I lower my body down to his. I bring my cheek towards his nose to feel if there's air escaping it. 

There isn't. 

"Dima," I whimper. God, I feel so helpless. So… useless. 

I've been useless this entire fight. There has to be something I can do for him right now. 

I rest my ear on his chest. If I can just hear his heartbeat, I'll know what I can do for him. 

I can't even hear or notice anything that's going on around me. I don't know if Yuri and Felix are still fighting. I don't know if Byleth is attacking and I don't know if Lysithea and Dedue are okay. 

I focus on listening to Dimitri's chest, or rather what's inside it, and to my relief, I can hear the faint sound of a heart beating. 

Dima's still with me. He's still alive, but barely. 

So, uhm, heart massages now, right? To get his heart beating properly again. 

But for his heart to beat, he needs oxygen and he's not breathing. So, heart massages and mouth-to-mouth? 

I don't have time to wait for anyone's help. My mind is racing and all I can think about is the fact that Dima needs me. 

I take a deep breath and lower myself once more towards his face. His lips and cheek on his right side are covered in his blood, but I can't find it in me to care right now. 

I push his head backwards by his chin and keep his mouth open with one hand, and with the other, I pinch his nose closed. 

Okay, here goes. I've honestly never done C.P.R. before and I'm terrified that I'll fail. But I can't fail again. 

Can my fight with Solon even be counted as a fail? We did take him down after all. 

I press my lips to his thankfully still warm and soft ones. The feeling is so familiar, yet… different now. No, stop. I can't be distracted now. I slot my lips around his to make sure no air will escape as I force my breath into his mouth. 

Uhm, I have to do that twice, right? 

I lift my face off his while still holding him in the same position as I take in another deep breath. I bend over towards him once more and repeat the action. 

Right. Now, heart massages. How am I supposed to hold my hands again..? 

I press my left palm into the center of his chest, and lock my other hand with my left hand. I'm pretty sure it was like this. And now I need to push, hard, like thirty times. 

Alright, start pushing and start counting. Don't get distracted. 

One, two, three… 

"I can't believe this worked! Linhardt, you're a genius!" 

Seven, eight, nine… 

"How did you figure that out? Byleth should have targeted us, yet he went straight to Solon." 

Twelve, thirteen, fourteen… 

"Solon? Was that his name?" 

Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen…

"I can't believe it's over now… We finally succeeded." 

Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three… 

"All that's left now, is going back to the monastery, right?" 

Twenty-nine, thirty! 

I stop the heart massages so I can give him mouth-to-mouth once more. I remember that you're not supposed to do that more than two times, so after this, it'll only be massaging until he starts breathing again. 

Please, start breathing again. My tears are streaming down my face, landing on Dimitri's instead, but I don't have time to wipe them away. 

I lock my hands together like the first time to start pushing in the center of his chest again. 

Maybe I didn't push hard enough before. 

I put in my body weight this time as I push down straight into his ribs. I can actually hear them crack under the pressure of my weight, but I can't stop now. I won't stop until Dimitri starts breathing again.

Two, three, four… 

"Hold on, what's Claude doing?" 

Nine, ten, eleven… 

"Claude, what's going on? Is he not breathing?" 

Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen… 

"Oh my god. Dimitri…" 

Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one… 

"Claude, let me take over for you. You're hurt." 

Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven…

"Claude, you're hurt. Let me." 

Thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four… 

Keep pushing. Just keep pushing and counting. 

Thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight… 

I'm running out of breath, but I need to keep pushing. Do I even need to keep counting? 

Forty-four, forty-five, forty-six… 

I just have to keep pushing. Keep pushing until Dima breathes again. 

Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one… 

My arms are starting to feel numb, but I have to keep pushing. If I stop, he won't make it. He needs to breathe. 

Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven… 

As if a miracle just happened, Dimitri suddenly opens his mouth and gasps for air. He's panting severely and his face shows how much pain he's in, but he's breathing. 

His eyes are closed, more like squeezed shut, while he mutters incoherently. 

"Dima," I whisper. "You came back." 

I bend over to him once more to hug him. I hug him as tightly as I can, even ignoring his protesting grunts. I just need to know he's still here. He came back to me. 

"Cl'de," he barely chokes out. 

I let go of him to look at his face. There doesn't seem to be a wound, but his blood had to come from somewhere. 

How weird. 

"Claude," Linhardt's voice draws my attention. "Please step away for a second. Professor Byleth says he might be able to heal Dimitri better than I can." 

No. I absolutely refuse to leave Dima's side right now. If they want me gone, they'll have to drag me away. 

"No," I say resolutely. "I'm not leaving." 

"Claude, please," he insists. "Do you want Dimitri to survive or not?" 

That's dirty. How am I supposed to leave him like this? What if he passes while I'm away? I refuse. I'm not leaving. 

"I have to be here." 

"No, you don't. Give the man some space," Yuri says as he grabs my arm and pulls on it. There's no way I'll come along easily though. "You want Dimitri to live, don't you? You're making it hard for him to do, so move." 

How can he say that? I just saved Dima's life. I'm not making it hard for him, I'm trying to save him. 

"Claude! Move it!" Yuri yells as he pulls on my arm once more. "You got hurt too, let Linhardt or Lysithea check your body for injuries." 

But Dima…

"Claude. Let the man help. Dimitri needs heals right now. You did amazing, but it's time to let someone else do their part now. Come on." He stops pulling at my arm and instead massages my fingers to calm me down. "Let Lysithea take care of you. You fought so hard, rest for a bit." 

"But the infected. And Dima. And the-" 

His hold on my fingers is so soft. "We won. It's over. There are no more infected. Come with me, I'll explain to you." 

Is it okay for me to leave Dima's side? I feel like I'll let him down if I leave now. 

"Go on. I got him," an unfamiliar, but gentle and soothing voice tells me. 

Is that Byleth? Teach? I'm so confused. 

Yuri takes advantage of my short moment of confusion by lifting me up and dragging me away from Dimitri. He puts me down to rest somewhere against a broken pillar. 

"Lysithea! Can you come check on Claude's injuries?" He asks. At the same time, he brushes a strand of hair out of my face. 

"Yuri, is Raphael okay?" Yuri had the left side after all and that's where Raph was. 

"Yeah, I think so. I knocked him out, so he'll stay unconscious for a while. You can use that time to rest up a bit. I'm pretty sure you and Dimitri got hit the hardest of us all." 

Really? I'm incredibly glad that no one got hurt as badly as us. That means that Dedue and Annette are both okay too. 

"Oh, Claude. You're always so reckless when it comes to yourself," Lysithea scolds gently after she joined Yuri and me. 

A small, cool hand replaces Yuri's warm one on my face. Then it moves to my throat to check my pulse and then the feeling of white magic seeps into my pores, relieving the pain almost instantly.

"There's still some magic in your system, but it'll disappear in due time. That's also what's causing your pain right now, so I suggest you just take it easy for now." Her voice is soft and I'm so glad to hear it. 

"I'm glad you're okay," I whisper to her. 

"I'm glad you guys are okay too. Well, given the circumstances. You also did an amazing job with Dimitri just now. Really," she insists. 

Heh, yeah. I saved the guy's life just now. 

"I wanna know what happened. I heard you all scream before." I know it was either Lysithea or Annette who screamed. 

"Right, I'll explain. While Dedue and I were trying to fight Byleth, we soon found out that he was much, much tougher than we expected. Not only did most of my spells have barely any effect, he was just too quick for Dedue to block as well. So we were really struggling. I'm pretty sure Linhardt has used most of his heals on me, by the way. Sorry for that." She laughs apologetically.

I'm glad he did, if I'm being honest. He saved her life, just like she saved his.

"Anyways, as I was preparing to cast one of my strongest spells, one of which I was sure would hit him, Annette suddenly screamed at me. It was the last of my magic power and I knew it was the last chance I'd get, so I needed to succeed. But, right as I was going to fire it, my magic just disappeared. I lost all of my magic power, which led to a counterattack from Byleth. He hit Dedue pretty bad and there was nothing we could do. It was only then that I could finally hear and comprehend what Annette was screaming. "Flayn is there, look out!" She yelled." 

Flayn? I stabbed that bitch! Did she really survive that? 

"So it turns out that she casted a Silence on me, which prevents me from using magic for a while. That was the end, I was sure of it. Dedue was hurt and I couldn't attack anymore. That's when Linhardt started to meddle. He told Dedue and myself to get some distance from Byleth, because he had an idea. I had no means of knowing what he was planning and honestly, had he told me, I'd have done everything to stop him. His idea was so terribly risky! He was literally going to Warp Byleth over to you guys and pray that he'd attack Solon before he'd attack you guys. Well, either way, I'm glad that worked out."

Yeah, me too. Had Byleth not attacked Solon, we would have been done for. At least it would've been a quick death. 

"While I tried to get Dedue over to Linhardt for heals, Annette actually grabbed the axe she brought, the steel one, I'll have you know, and attacked Flayn with it. Turns out that Flayn is a terrible fighter, so Annette took her down for good. Just like how Byleth took down Solon and like that, the spell was released from the infected's bodies. All of them." 

Wow, Annette, that small legend. She actually finished Flayn off for me. Unbelievable. 

"Finally," Yuri comments. "It's lasted long enough now. We're free." 

We're free. Free… Freedom. Free. I like that. We actually did it. We actually took down Solon and we literally lifted this… this curse. I think I can call it a curse. This had nothing to do with magic anymore.

"We really are, huh? It's weird to think about, since we never knew any better. But Claude," Lysithea turns to me. "Ignatz and them are safe now too. They don't have to fight anymore." 

Right. We succeeded. It's so hard to grasp what this means. There's no more infected out there. Any infected that was still alive, is back to normal now. They'll just be able to continue their lives. 

And the people in the monastery, they don't have to be locked up anymore. They can leave and rebuild their lives, wherever they want. 

We can all rebuild our lives, however we want. 

All that's left now, is to go back to the monastery and kill Solon's buddies. And then it'll be over completely. 

The idea of that all makes me smile and it's the happiest smile I've had in a long time. I don't think I've smiled this way since before my father left the house back then. 

"Yeah. You're right. I can't wait to see them again." 

Lysithea smiles right back at me, perfectly mimicking the amount of happiness I'm feeling. 

"Uhm, sorry, but who?" Yuri interrupts. This guy really knows how to ruin moments. 

"Ah, right. I guess I never told you, but we came with more people than just us. We split up before we encountered Byleth to make sure we wouldn't all die a pointless death. I hope they went into hiding in the village." The last part, only Lysithea will understand, so I redirect my gaze towards her. 

"I think Lorenz would understand. I hope. If he learned anything at all from you, that is." 

We both laugh at that and Yuri's confused face makes it even funnier. 

"Lorenz is a jerk," I explain to Yuri. "Not a jerk like you, he's different. But you're still worse, so don't worry." 

"Ah, good to know. And thanks for the compliment. You know I love it when you say stuff like that." 

I look at him and I try to seem unimpressed, but his cocky smirk and challenging gaze does things to my heart. 

Heart… 

"Dima! Is Dima better?!" I want to stand up, but Yuri holds me back. 

"Claude, seriously! Give them some time. Dimitri isn't going to be better soon, so be patient." He gently pulls on my wrist to have me sit closer to him. 

Fine! "I'll just sit and be useless again." 

I cross my arms in front of my chest and I start moping. 

"Oh, come on. I never said anything like that. And if you think you were useless in that fight, you're very wrong. If you hadn't fought that spell so hard, Claude, you'd have turned infected. I saw you struggling and I already feared the worst for you, but you kept fighting. We would have lost you and probably Sylvain and Felix if you had turned, so don't think that you were useless. You were amazing." 

"I'll give you guys some alone time," Lysithea announces before she gets back up and joins Linhardt, who's watching Byleth work intently. 

Is Byleth teaching him? Maybe Byleth could teach me how to work my bow faster. I can aim and I can shoot, but I'm slow. 

"That's convenient." Yuri's low voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "How are you feeling?" 

How am I feeling? I honestly have no idea. I feel so many things right now that I can't describe it if I wanted to.

"Just… A lot of things. I can't put it into words, but it's a good feeling, for the most part. I'm still scared for Dima and I still feel frustrated at how little I did, but I'm still happy. We really succeeded." 

I smile broadly at Yuri. If it hadn't been for him, would we have made it? I would have gotten out of that cell, but after that? I'm sure I owe a huge part of our success to him, so I'm sure he'd like to be paid back big time. 

In time. For now, Dima's health is important. Dima's health and revelling in the fact that the magic is gone. 

"Can I kiss you? I really want to kiss you right now." 

"Yeah, but not a filthy kiss like before," I tell him. "There's kids around." 

He chuckles lowly before he leans into me. Before his lips touch mine, however, he tries to wipe Dima's blood off my face. 

"No, if you want to kiss me, you're kissing Dima too." He's a part of me after all. 

He looks at me for a few seconds, calculating, thinking. "You really have strong feelings for him, don't you?"

I nod. "Yeah. But that doesn't mean I'll let you walk away easily. In time, you'll be a part of me too." 

He throws his head back and cackles loudly. "Wow, you really are a greedy hoarding little shit. That's just perfect." 

He leans in again and this time, presses his lips against mine properly. I happily let him, even when his tongue runs over my lips, licking Dimitri's blood off of me. 

That's so twisted, but so very hot. He's completely ruining me. Good thing I have Dima to keep me sane.

Despite how much effort it takes me, I refuse to part my lips for his tongue to get inside my mouth. No filthy kissing. 

He pulls away after a few seconds, still wearing his signature smirk. "You're really amazing. Not your kissing skills, they're terrible, but you are. You're just perfect."

I don't even know what to say to that. Should I thank him? He called me a bad kisser though.

"You're a jerk. An old fart. You like children…" 

Before I can say anything else, Yuri's grabbed my arm and pulls me against his body. 

"What did you just say?" He asks and I can feel one of his hands making its way to my armpit. 

Crap, he noticed I'm ticklish after all. 

"You, uhm, you're illiterate." 

"Shut up, pumpkin. Or I'll make you regret saying that. And that won't end well for your cute little ass." 

"Are you going to spank me?" I'm sure my eyes are huge right now. He can't actually be serious about that. 

"I'll let your imagination fill that in. Either way, it'll be nice for me and not so nice for you. Unless you enjoy pain, that is." 

I swallow, loudly. I did not mean for that. Now it's actually as if I'm looking forward to it. 

"Uhm, yeah, no thanks. I give up. You don't like children. And I'm still going to teach you how to read and write. I plan on keeping that promise." 

He smiles -a genuine smile- and it makes me feel warm and happy. Stupid Yuri, how dare he have this effect on me? 

"I'm looking forward to it." 

Sylvain then approaches us and I hurry to get away from Yuri's hold on me. "Hey, guys? Byleth said we're going to have to move Dimitri so he can rest properly. You coming too?" 

"Yeah, of course. We're right behind you." I get up and hurry after Byleth, who's carrying Dimitri on his back. 

Byleth seems like a good guy. I wonder if he knows what really happened to Flayn. 

.

We finally made it back to the village, where Byleth with Dima, Lysithea, Linhardt, Annette and I had to part ways from the others so that they could take care of the angry villagers while we brought Dimitri to the hospital. 

"I'm happy those infected villagers woke up pretty quickly. Raphael is leading them back to the village right now, so I'm sure the angry villagers will calm down as soon as they see the missing people," Lysithea tells no one in particular. 

"Yeah. I'm just glad they weren't killed during that fight," Linhardt adds. "Neither Yuri, nor Felix had been even the tiniest bit gentle. Those villagers are going to have headaches for days." 

I can't help but snicker at that. 

Annette sighs fondly. "I'm just glad it's all over now. We can go back to the monastery now, right? Because we finished our task out here." 

"We'll be going back, but not for that reason," I inform. "There's someone in charge of that monastery right now, who I'm sure is working with Solon." 

"No way! You think so?" Annette sounds genuinely shocked. 

Right, I guess she misses quite some information. Same as Byleth for that matter, so I'll just start explaining from the beginning. Maybe teach will help us reach the monastery. 

We enter a room with a double bed where Byleth lays down Dimitri's now unconscious body. 

I don't waste any time as I sit on the bed next to him. I gently stroke his face and it's only now I see that his right eye looks off. 

His eyelid looks… flat. Is that possible? A flat eyeball? 

Or did he..? He lost… his eye… 

Oh my god. He lost his eye. Dimitri has only one eye now. 

I carefully touch the smooth skin of his eyelid. I'm sure if I press even a little, I'll be pushing my finger right into his eye socket. That's a disgusting thought, so I decide against it. 

A hand on my shoulder pulls my attention away from Dimitri's now non-existing eyeball. 

"I couldn't save it," Byleth tells me. "But I'll find him a nice eyepatch instead." 

Even though it should not be funny at all, that still makes me laugh a little. "Thanks. I'm sure he'd appreciate that." 

Dima wouldn't want everyone to see his wound. Or his to-be scar. I know he'd rather hide that, so an eyepatch would be appreciated. 

I'm just scared to see how he'll react when he finds out. I'll make sure I'm here to comfort him when he does though. I'll stay with him until he wakes up, even if it'll take weeks.

"So, Claude? Do you want to explain or should I?" Lysithea asks. 

"Ah, no. I'll explain, no problem." I force myself to look away from Dimitri before I start telling Byleth everything. 

And I literally mean everything. Everything that Flayn told us, then everything that happened in the monastery after. About Rhea and Seteth and their retarded graduation test. I tell him about everything we discovered while being out here and I end my explanation with us trying to take out the mage to end the curse Byleth's been under for the past hundred years. 

His face hasn't even changed once during my explanation, showing no thoughts or emotions at all, despite that one would think that the realization of unknowingly being sent forward a hundred years into the future could be considered shocking. 

"I see," is what he says at first. He takes some time to think it all over, until; "So I lost." 

"Well, yes. You losing is pretty much the reason why this mess became possible in the first place." 

His face stays expressionless, even when hearing that. What is up with this dude? 

"I see. My apologies. I never meant to lose." 

"I'm sure you didn't," Lysithea comforts. "But you could make up for it, if you're interested." 

He looks at her, but doesn't show or say anything. 

I don't like this guy. He's so hard to read. And I hate hard to read. That means he's unpredictable. 

Lysithea continues. "If you help us train and get stronger, we could go back to the monastery and make a final end to this whole giant mess. It'll be hard for us to do that without your help." 

He nods. "Okay." 

Okay? Just "okay"? That's all? 

"Oh," Lysithea says surprised. "I didn't think it'd be so easy, but thank you. You can call me Lysithea. That over there is Claude. This guy next to me is Linhardt. And that girl there is Annette. Pleased to meet you, professor Byleth." 

"Nice to meet you too." He nods at her and looks around at the rest of us. "When did you want to start?" 

"Oh! Uhm… As soon as possible, I'd say." She looks at Linhardt for confirmation. 

"Actually, I'm out. I want to nap and live a peaceful life from now on. Why should we go back to the monastery? Edelgard and Rhea are there and those are two of the most terrifying women out there." 

He has a point. But I'm making sure that nothing like this will ever happen again. Rhea and Seteth need to disappear in order for that to happen. And possibly even Edelgard if she has malintentions like Rhea. 

"Excuse you? You're out? You can't just quit! We're literally almost there!" Lysithea raises her voice by quite some decibels. 

Linhardt, of course, starts arguing back, which turns their discussion into a loud argument. Annette has started to meddle as well, leading it into an even greater chaos. 

"Guys! Can you do the bickering outside? Dima needs to rest. In quiet." 

They all look at me as if I just insulted their ancestors before they do actually take their argument outside. Just as well. 

I stop Byleth from leaving though. "Is there a chance I can call you if Dima needs you?" 

He nods. "I'll be in the room next to this one." 

"Okay. Thank you. You're the real savior of all." 

His face doesn't change, again, but I'm sure he doesn't understand what I'm talking about. I'll just keep it as my personal inside joke. 

He leaves the room without another word, allowing me to finally have some alone time with Dima. Even though he's unconscious. 

I'll wait for him to wake up. I'll stay right here by his side. Right where I should be. 

. 

Ah, fuck. I fell asleep. The room Dima was put in has become dark now, so that allows me to believe it's nighttime. 

I wonder if he's awake yet. 

"Dima?" I whisper. 

"Shut up," I hear from behind me. 

Yuri..? Is he lying in the same bed as Dima and me? 

I imagined it would give me a nice feeling, but it's even better than I thought. Yuri's body is warm against my back, his slow breathing occasionally sensible against my neck. And I'm lying half on top of Dimitri, with my arm wrapped tightly around his middle. 

Ah, almost perfect. If every night can be like this, only with a conscious Dimitri, I'd be the most blessed person alive. All I'm missing is Dimitri's arm around me. 

But that'll come soon. Right now, Dima needs to recover, while the rest of us train with Byleth. Even me. God knows I need it. 

But I also want to be here for Dima, so I'll make sure I'll check on him during every break and I'll sleep here every night. 

Yuri shouldn't complain about that. He understands how I feel. 

I yawn and drowsiness takes over once more. I have no doubts I'll be able to sleep great the rest of the night.

.

The morning after, Dima already looks much better. I'm guessing most of the magic has left his body now too, just like mine. 

Yuri is still warm against my back, snoring softly because his nose is buried in my hair. I reach behind me to take his arm and wrap it around me. 

He snorts from the disruption in his position, which in turn wakes him up too. 

"Mm, good morning," he greets. 

"You as well." 

"Good morning," Dima's voice sounds from above me.

"Dima! Dima, oh my god. How are you feeling?" I shove away Yuri's arm so I can sit up straight. 

Dima chuckles, and it sound exhausted. "I guess I'm okay." 

His left eye is open, but his right one obviously isn't. I've been sleeping on his right side, so he has to turn his head quite a way to look at me properly. 

I want to run a hand under his now empty socket, but he flinches away from my touch. 

I retract my hand immediately. "Ah, sorry. I didn't consider it might still be painful." 

He furrows his eyebrows, then shakes his head. "That's not- I just didn't see it. I'm sorry. It surprised me, that's all." 

Of course. He can't see out of his right eye, so I'll need to keep that in mind. 

I want to stroke his cheek, but before I do, I wave my hand in front of his seeing eye. He huffs a laugh at that. 

"That's better." 

I smile as I stroke his cheek. I remember it being covered in blood yesterday and it's an image that's painful to think about. 

But he's fine now. He's up and awake and he's smiling at me. 

"Thank you," I tell him. "For jumping in front of me." 

He blinks at me. It's a weird sight, seeing him with one eye closed all the time. 

"You don't have to thank me. I was happy to do it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died because I was being a coward. I'm done with being a coward." 

I look at his lips. The same ones I touched with my own yesterday. I miss those lips. 

I lean towards him and I can feel my heartbeat pick up. "Can I kiss you?" 

His eye grows big and he nods quickly. "Yes. Please." 

Silly. 

I only slightly brush with my lips against his, but I can feel him shudder from the contact. I really missed him. 

"I missed you, Dima," I whisper. With every word, my lips barely touch his and it's enough to turn him into a blushing mess. 

"I missed you too, Claude. I'm so sorry for the things I did and said and I hate that I-" 

I decide to shut his rambling mouth up by pressing my lips against his. Now is not the time for apologies. Now is the time for kissing and making out. Making up, I mean. 

My hand is still resting on his cheek and his own two hands have found their way to the sides of my face. They're gently holding my jaws and ears as he presses his lips against mine with a desperate pressure. 

I really missed how I could just feel his love flow into me through his lips. 

I rest my other hand against his neck as we deepen the kiss. His tongue -finally- asks me for permission to enter my mouth by gently licking along my lower lip. 

I'm so ready now. 

I eagerly part my lips for him and I'm sort of expecting him to dominate my mouth the way Yuri likes to, but Dima's so gentle. 

He really takes his time to get to know the inside of my mouth, slowly licking and feeling along every tooth, the roof of my mouth, my own tongue. 

Ah, fuck. I'm done for with these two. Yuri is like some wild animal that wants to devour me while Dima just wants to appreciate and worship every single part of my body. 

Speaking of Yuri… he woke up just now, didn't he? 

Reluctantly, I pull away from Dimitri's sweet lips to see what Yuri's up to. I hope I didn't make him uncomfortable, but who knows? He might have just gone back to sleep. 

I look besides me and the first thing I see are Yuri's eyes staring at Dimitri and me. 

"Oh, don't let me stop you. I had a fair share of fun with you, now it's Dimitri's turn." He raises an eyebrow at me to dare me to say something about his generosity. 

I squint my eyes at him, but I decide the discussion is not worth it right now. Dima is more important to me currently. 

When I look back at Dimitri, I can just see the question in his eye. 'What did you do with Yuri?' 

Should I even answer that? It wouldn't be fair to keep it from him, but I also really don't want to hurt his feelings. 

But on the other hand, if Dima can't live with the idea of me being with him and Yuri, I don't know who I'd choose. 

"Uhm," I start intelligently. "We, well, we kissed. Pretty intensely." 

Dimitri nods at that, but the question is still there.

"Oh, this is going to be good. Make sure to tell him the details too," Yuri teases. 

For fuck's sake. 

I give him a glare, to which he just laughs loudly before I look back at Dimitri. 

"He forced it on me," I eventually end up saying. 

Dima looks at me questioningly, but I really don't want to elaborate. It's terribly embarrassing.

"No, pumpkin. Don't do that. You know you enjoyed it." 

Instead of replying, I just push a hand in Yuri's face to prevent him from saying anything else. 

"That's not true. I said no, but he forced me." I kiss Dimitri's lips for good measure. Can't have him believe Yuri over me. 

"I believe you," Dimitri reassures me.

Yuri removes my hand from his face and holds it tightly to prevent me from shoving it in his face again. "No, Claude is a dirty boy who only wanted to help me out if I gave him a blowjob in return, which I did." 

The last three words send a literal cold shiver down my spine. I gape at Yuri and I'm sure the unasked 'how could you?' question is obvious from my face. 

"Ah, so you were at fault," Dimitri concludes. "I should have known. You also called me into the bathroom ten seconds after you told me I wasn't allowed to look." 

I turn my head to gape at Dimitri now, who chuckles innocently. Is he serious? How dare he expose me like that? 

"He did the same thing with me back when we shared a room," Yuri fills in. "He said he wanted me to heal his arm, but I'm sure he just wanted me around, despite being naked in a bathtub." 

Dimitri nods in agreeance. 

Oh my god. Are they just going to keep annoying me like this? 

"So, a blowjob," Dimitri tells Yuri. 

"Yeah. I never had the intention to give him one, but I really needed his dagger. If anything, Claude forced me." 

"Ah, I see how it is now. Claude, you shouldn't take advantage of people like that. It makes you less lovable." 

I'm not even listening anymore. Or well, I am, but I'm pretending I'm not. I'm starting to question whether it's really a good thing that they seem to get along with each other. 

"Less lovable and also less cute," Yuri adds. 

"Oh, sure. Start blaming me, why don't you? You know, you were the one who willingly went down on his knees to actually do the… the, the thing. So you really can't say that I'm at fault, because I never even brought up anything weird." 

Yuri's smirk tells me everything I need to know about his and Dimitri's real intentions. They really just wanted to tease me. 

"Well, fine. If y'all wanna kiss or whatever, you know where to find each other. I'm gonna ask Byleth to train me." 

I look at Yuri, who's thoroughly sitting in the way of my exit. He's still smirking at me, so I doubt he'll let me pass just like that. 

Argh, fine. 

I'll just crawl over Dimitri's legs and hope I don't hurt him. 

Good thing I fell asleep with my clothes on. At least I won't have to get changed in front of those intense three eyes that keep following me as I move around. 

Maybe, just maybe, I might be in over my head a little with these two. But after I put on my boots and look up at the two of them, I think we'll be fine. 

Yuri has grabbed Dima's head, kissing him hesitantly. Dimitri doesn't even seem to be as bothered by it as I first expected him to be. When they pull apart, both of them look thoughtful, calculating, but not unhappy, so it's fine. 

"Have fun you both," I tell them before I head out of the room. 

I'll be training with Byleth and hopefully, everyone else, including Linhardt, will join in our second adventure. I'm secretly looking forward to it a little, but that might be because of the two guys I just left behind. 

I can't wait to build my life with them and with the rest of my friends too. Preferably somewhere far away from all the mess over here. But that'll have to wait just a little bit longer. First things first, and that's that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 will be up in like a few days. I'm not sure when, but keep refreshing le page and it'll pop up eventually hahahaah sorry for not being more clear about my updates, just my updating dates are as chaotic as my mind
> 
> I know I'm rambling but that's bc I'm still a little sad to announce this is an ending to part 1 
> 
> Boy, imagine me when part 2 comes to an end 
> 
> Actually, don't 
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT SO FAR!!! <3333

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how frequent I'll update, but it will be as soon as I can.  
> Please let me know if you liked my chapter!  
> If you didn't like it, please don't bully me bc I might cry lol


End file.
